After Love | Give and Take | S2 E5 | The Black Love Doc After Show
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- Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
- In this episode of #BLAfterLove, the official aftershow of Black Love on OWN, the series co-creator Codie Elaine Oliver sits down with couples, Keith David & Dionne Lea Williams and Ephraim & Renece Salaam to discuss sacrifice in marriage. Wives, Dionne Lea Williams, and Renece Salaam speak candidly about putting their careers on the back burners for the sake of their family's well-being aka their husband's careers.
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I love seeing and hearing black men express themselves (thoughts and feelings). I appreciate these conversations.
I agree!👍
I agree, its needed in order for us women to be able to know what we need to do to accommodate them etc....I love listening to older people talk as well, you can learn alot.
I’ve learnt a lot from these couples, saving me time from making mistakes.
me too
Amen Afron, I 🙏 that the videos never stole, This was so so sooo needed ! For African American Males and Female's, It has been Such an 👁️ opener/ blessing for me! And the honesty and Wisdom has been Pure Joy to hear & see! God bless 💞 each and every Couple that has been a part of the blessing!
I'm not married but this episode and the many others inspire me that someday I will be married. I refer anyone married that I come in contact with about your show (Black Love too) because this show is so necessary for our community.
Please keep the show on tv 🙏🏾black people need to see this real love 💕
Yes we do
I absolutely LOVE IT!!!! It seems like when you go to church and the preacher teaches on what you need to hear! Every week it’s exactly what I need to hear
my FAVORITE series!
as people… specifically women, our greatest learning comes from the knowledge & acceptance that love is not self-sacrifice & suffering. there is nothing noble, admirable or loving about abandoning ourselves for the fulfillment of others. it sets us up for cycles of self-betrayal that can take years to unlearn and heal. 🖤🖤🖤
But it is at times.. I think you just have to remember to love yourself too. So to sacrifice other things so you are okay. So you don't have to be the best wife, mum, daughter, sister. I think love does involve some sacrificing of the self, and that doesn't have to unhealthy, if you can sacrifice other things for yourself. There is no fair existence on the extremes, it's a balance.
@@anele.nsithole5593 it sounds good and noble to say & that’s what’s been taught and demonstrated for us… but there’s no research to back it. what research & scholars do confirm is that self-sacrificing as an act of love is self-harming and non sustainable. *service and cooperation* in relationships are both sustainable and equitable acts.
i also don’t believe in balance. it’s talked about a lot but i don’t know anyone in my work (as a emotional literacy & cognitive psychology researcher) both anecdotally or empirically that has achieved it. however, i do believe in integration: (i.e., finding a ways to simplify complicated pieces and parts of our lives to fit in with the demands of our humanness).
@@goodtrouble841Sacrifices are just bigger compromises. If you think a long lasting relationship without compromise in all its shapes and sizes will work. Then be my guest mam.
@@anele.nsithole5593 i don’t quite understand your full point. your perception of sacrifice vs. what sacrifice actually requires is vastly distinctive. that’s all i’ll say.
@@goodtrouble841 Relationships CAN'T exist without BOTH people making sacrifices. *The WORD sacrifice in marriage simply means a compromise that may be painful but worth it.*
Edit: I agree with your point about it NOT being about *abandonment* of a woman's entire identity though.
They are so available to each other, all of it, they are so willing to listen to each other, they are so ready for love...reflecting, respectively growing together, yep powerful people
Awesome comment, well said
something of a true rarity bc it's damn near non existent ...ppl typically listen for an opportunity to talk
Ephraim & Renece I could hear you guys talk all day long ! Thanks for sharing your journey ! Cheers and Salam from a French Black Muslim Sister :)
Awww! I went to high school & was on the same dance team as Renece☺️ It's refreshing to see her now! She was always super loving & beautiful✨✨
i absolutely love this conversation. especially nowadays when young couples are navigating the space of sacrifice. most of us youngins don’t feel like we oughta sacrifice anything, and we get into relationships and then immediately are turned off by the fact that we realize we kinda do. this is important to teaching the reality of relationships and not just between lovers, but between people we love period.
CODIE YOU HAVE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL LOVING CARING SPIRIT...I AM SOO THANKFUL FOR THE PLATFORM YOU AND TOMMY HAVE CREATED TO SHOW THE WORLD THE DYNAMICS OF THE POWER AND BEAUTY OF "BLACK LOVE"...LORD WATCH
Everyone needs to see the positive side of black love it's a beautiful thing and couples need to teach and encourage the younger generations when you fall in love do the work to stay in love and simply stay.
Mr. Keith David, your voice has mesmerize me for years. I love Ephraim's aha moment. He really felt that. Renece the moment you said you were a dancer, I knew exactly who you were. Sis, YASSS, you were an amazing dancer and I loved watching you! 🌹💐🌹💐
Kudos to the Black Love Channel for shedding light on what real black love looks like for those who don't know. 💘
I love Black Love & the After Love shows!!! What the Oliver family has created is so important for our community. I would love to see more representation and reflections on navigating intercultural relationships. There is such a huge amount of diversity within the Black community in America from all over the diaspora. It would be great to see Black couples discuss this issue on the show.
I love the way that Renece brought up and explained the concept of energy. It’s so true that someone might not say a word, but the energy that they bring into the room can have an effect on everybody else in the household. I sensed some troubling energy coming from Keith David during this interview. It doesn’t seem to me that he actually likes his wife or that they operate as a unit. I’m glad it seems Renece picked up on that and talked about how we all need to be aware of what energy we’re bringing into a space, but she did it in a kind and nonjudgmental way.
Listening to people reflect, heal and appreciate their spouse is such a beautiful thing...
I love when he said “my part was.... “ owning your stuff is everything. I love them acknowledging themselves & in their relationships #blacklove #lifelonglove I always love these 💕💕💕
This Black Love video is Adult Relationships keeping it REAL !
Respecting each other's feelings and working it between the 2 of them. No outside influences. ♥
Thank you to the beautiful couples for sharing their love stories..🌻
Great chat! Really enjoyed this. Interesting couples. Bishop's depth and authenticity is so inspiring and admirable. Codie is a Boss host! So vibrant, sharp, intelligent, warm and caring! Loved that question on having it all and loved the fact that it was posed to everyone.
Energy is a big thing in a room. Love this show
I love this open conversation...it made me smile.
I’m so happy for us that we get to see the real and it feels great to see people wanting trying and doing the work together for a long term relationship. It only work when we work it out together. No expectations for this moment but we can do what works for us. The one thing we never thing about is talking about our differences which can cause problems later in a relationship. Excellent Job!
I think sometimes men forget we aren't their buddies and we forget they aren't our girlfriends. I say this because sometimes the way we speak to one another reflects this.
There is such an interesting dynamic here; Mr. David seems to be settling for what will be in his marriage. I didn’t note happiness between he and his wife: I saw something else. And I wonder how much of his career and notoriety play a part in this. I wonder how much of him just learning and knowing who he is affects his marriage.
Even reading the comments, I note that we are still calling him “Bishop” from “Greenleaf.” How much of having fame, trying to become attuned to his own needs, and now not having to shoot a show plays into his attitude on this show.
Does he want to be in this marriage? I noted that he said that he admired his stepfather’s willingness to love his mother. Is he as willing?
I watched this not looking for #RelationshipGoals but to see what people are saying or not saying as the lessons.
Marriage like water takes the shape of the container it's in.
i felt a weird vibe from them as well.
@@Carlyon100 what does this mean?
@@lawestphilly yeah, there was a lesson in this for me.
Very informative
I love this show! They're telling it exactly how it is when you've been married for years and in it to win it.
I’m so loving these episodes filled with vulnerability from both spouses of what it takes to get through the rough patches so the love can thrive and shine through
This episode speaks volumes- self care, wanting to be present for the small and big things. Thank you for sharing
I don’t like to refer to it as being selfish but rather being “self full”
Real sacrifice in marriage so important for any relationships to grow.
Good Morning☕ I love the Black Love & After Love shows..🦋
Bishop 😍 also his wife is lovely
I would love to hear more from these couples!! Wonderful lessons and nuggets shared.
Positive examples much needed by our community, keep up the truly excellent, inspiring, and even life saving work that you guys do! MORE please!
Y’all are air! I appreciate the wisdom you are offering to help others breathe in relationships. Thank you 🙏🏽
Now see... that's what it's about! Not urging over and over, but whichever person realizing they were wrong, apologizing and moving forward. 🙌🏾
Body language says everything. Mr. David and his wife seem very detached. Mrs. David's arms are up like in defense mode almost throughout the whole interview . Conversations like this still has merit because you can learn from watching people, listening to their trials, and assessing where you are in your own relationship and/or knowing what you don't want in a relationship. Kudos to Black Love for bringing this platform.
This was beautiful to watch! #BlackLove
Please more Black Love & After Love episodes❤
Loving the journey in these older couples 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😇😇😇
@5:10 - 5:25. Real talk. To have a love that keeps you the same and more patience, honor and respect.
First of all, men don't think the same regarding "having it all" because they don't have to choose between career and kids and family. Second, I like David and Dionne. Definitely grown and sexy. lol
Exactly. The person who naturally slows down is the woman because of our biological role in reproduction 🤷🏽♀️
It’s none of their business🙌🏽 Preach
I really enjoyed the discussion and the openness that these couples have with each other
I really enjoyed this episode!! Would love to see another discussion with the same couples again!!!💕🕊
*Let's use the term "LOVING MYSELF" not "SELFISH" when it's time for self-care! A part of taking time to relax is important for women. *It's important to GUARD that time for Mental Health reasons & not to feel guilty for doing so.*
This was very informative. I had to learn to be selfish also, self love. It was hard at first because I am a family oriented person, made alot of sacrifice, which I loved doing. Always taking care of others & leaving myself last. However now I am taking care of self.
Love these talks!! Black Love exists and God is doing something with our community!! WE AS BLACK PPL ARE CAPABLE OF HEALTHY LOVING MARRIAGES AND FAMILIES :)
Incredible learning and teaching. Thank you for Black Love 😊
I sooo Love this. Please keep it going.🌟
“Feelings aren’t facts “ 👀... what he said
When you know who you are and decide to make a change to be with the one who loves you it really don’t matter what others say cause you know who you are already. Live life and love the one you are with and focus on that love and relationships that you created together for yourselves. Smile and say “How you doing” in your Wendy Williams voice then keep it moving. Shout out for Wendy for being who she is, lol she gonna tell on herself and everyone else so you know how to keep it real with her, she is who she is and that is a bit of a mess just like the rest of us, there are no one is exempted to be a part of the world because we all know that she will always love herself and fix her own mistakes then address it now that is a woman for you. Grown Folk Talk!
Ure such a trouble maker in a beautiful way.these episodes are lit
It sounds like Ephraim required a great deal from Renece at the beginning of the relationship. They were both trying to make their respective situations work. I think that based on the fact that they never discussed HOW they would compromise they never considered the long term effects on their communication. It's interesting that Ephraim said she has a PhD in arguing. I wonder if it's because she forfeited so much in the beginning of the relationship that she learned to negotiate/argue/debate to reassert herself and find her footing. It may be frustrating for Ephraim in these discussions which is why he either suppresses his emotions, shuts down or grumbles after ruminating. When Renece talks about his energy in the room she may be talking about the repressed anger stemming from frustration. Is he upset that he feels as though they should have discussed this in the early stages or that he is feeling Renece's frustration from past decisions? It's good that they are talking about these feelings now. I also think it's wonderful that he's providing her the latitude to grow and develop as an individual.
This is some good stuff! Thanks guys & gals! 😍
You are awesome actress and hard working man .I seem alot his work on television. 🙏
I like what he said about anger and atmosphere.
Beautiful conversation ❤
I love black couples ❤️🥂
AWESOME episode!
communication: energy and tone
Love this type of conversation
Why, as women, are we constently giving up so much? We give up or give in the majority of the time. They aren't always willing to do the same. I wonder why?
This is why respect is key to all
What is categorized as "so much"? You can hire tutors/nannies or send your kids to boarding school if you're that concerned about career or personal goals. However, it's best if at least one parent is present to facilitate a nurturing home life.
@@MrReedGrantberry But the problem is that expectation is always put on the woman to that parent to facilitate a nurturing home. Even if the spouses make about the same in income. Men do not get chastised for not "being there" in the same way a woman does. Men don't get asked "how do you juggle being a dad and working".
Why is it that I seem to be missing that connection..that love connection between Keith David and his wife…I just don’t see it between them..
I totally agree. I was surprised to see your comment. I thought it was just me noticing their energy.. I'm like this man don't like her. He may love her. But their body language screaming something else. And her side comments too.. lol maybe they just shy idk...
@@christchickconversations I picked up on all of that too. Then I second guess myself and figured I'd look through the comments to see if anyone else mentioned it but I came up empty... I knew I wasn't bugging. There's definitely something off...I'm not sure if the other parties pick up on it as well though.
@@risewisewest3401 lol yes... Aye have you even went as far as and watch other footage on them together of their interview. To see if maybe you was possibly wrong with the observation?
Cause girl lol I did. I went to go see if my observation was wrong that they seem not to happy with one another.... And girl.... It didn't even get better. I learned recently from another interview that they didn't live together when he was filming green leaf... And also she didn't keep he too involved in things that she thought she could only handle. Because of their time difference....And when I seen that I was like oh ok. I get it...
They don't vibe well because of communication and his work schedule...
Overall,
I hope they can work it all out. Cause you can tell they love each other.... But like each other ummm...... Idk about that......
But girly you aren't alone with your observation lol we may be the only ones looking too deep 🤣🤣🤣but it's all good.
Enjoyed the EP
Identity will not be an issue for me just because I knew who god was before we met and know that we have this agreement and special bond it doesn’t matter whether others know me because we know the truth and I love love it all. I am in him and he is in me it is the words that we share that will show me who cares about me and I know that he will always love me.
I love this.
I love hearing and seeing this
Another great episode
I'm unsure as to what episode of After Love, I saw a similar comment on, so I'm going to reiterate it...I'd like to see some non famous, "non" in the professional sports, music or entertainment industries, etc, couples on the show. We are the ones watching, average everyday folks, for sure we have additional issues/concerns that might be considered.
They have plenty of couples like this. Y’all complain about the dumbest shit
We also need good healthy Godly relationships. A worldly relationship and a Godly relationship are very different!
29:41 That look 🥰🥰🥰
Not selfish, balance 🧘🏾♀️ 🫂
this was great!
Awesome
Bishop your wife is indeed lovely!
We as women have been taught to fight with words, not with fists.
Beautiful 😭😍🤩❤️💞
Do we need their permission? I'm not talking about being disrespectful to one another or not being courteous. I am simply saying they are our partners, not our fathers or mothers.
Dr Facilier 🤩
Beautiful people
Beautiful 😻
Parenting don't come with a handbook you learn as you go yes being at your kids event is a must now there is technology to help you out thank God when you cannot be there in the flesh but I always try to put it in your schedule because it is nothing like seeing both of your parents at your event it really give you a sense of pride. Whichever couple can't find time for they self as the individual get up 30 minutes or an hour before everybody else so you can get that me time and have a peace of mind to just meditate on the quietness or God you deserve it also every couple need individual time away from each other putting in the schedule as well as family time and don't ever go to bed with a disagreement talk it out right then and there because you don't never want to have a disagreement and one of those times one of you guys might not wake up the next morning so don't take that person for granted after God always acknowledge them
I loved Reneice & Ephraim. I think the fact that Ephraim sees his mistake with Reniece is good but it was probably a factor of several things.. a)youth, b)maleness (testosterone poisoning 🤔) and, perhaps his c)religion. At any rate, Reneice surely understand & forgives. Ephraim needs to let it go. As Keith said, "you can't change it. You can't take it back." Therefore, Ephraim needs to hold his realization close so as not to make any more decisions based on the faulty logic he used to separate Reneice from the thing that made her whole at the time. But move on. Don't miss the present staying in the past. Lessons were learned so all wasn't lost.
Does anyone know what song is playing at the end of the After Love episodes??? It's so good
"Stuck Inside" by Shane Becker
How can anyone refer to Keith David as 'that actor'?! SMDH...
Right! He is an incredible actor but you’ve got to know this man by name. Hell, he was the voice behind our armed forces commercials. He’s given us some incredible characters. He’s hardly just anyone’s actor.
Ephraim is a very good Man.
Thank you friends for sharing your kindness and perspectives of how to realize , recognize and enjoy the gems, of this magical existence of life shared with others in our lives. :)
Amen yes
I can't fine before discussion "(
WOW ✌❤ 🕊🌹
What outro music is that?
just a reminder YAHUSHA (christ) is coming back for His chosen people. He loves us all. please make sure you get your life right, follow the commandments, walk in love & remember everything is temporary & your soul is eternal. read your bible it’s our (african american) history. shalom 💙
Me too
❤❤
_Deslagrate muri tempi et intervalia_
Who said this☝🏾
All dark skin men with light skin women....
And?
So according to African Americans , a woman must be lighter than man !..because everything you see on their ,movies or music videos . theres always a man who is dark and a light woman. Who came up with this idea !!.. it kinda. annoying and not making sense. Each and every living thing in this world comes in pairs not solo, just like Adam and Eve. I'm pretty sure they had the same skin complexion. Even animals too , a zebra will stay with another zebra not the horse.Because that it how is supposed to be
Wrong. It's whatever the individual finds attractive for them. While traveling & living abroad I see many wives lighter than their husbands in Africa, Middle East, etc. as well.
The responsible chocolate appropriately slip because schedule ethnically delay excluding a separate trigonometry. lovely, sticky separated
I can't watch Keith David without hearing the Shadow Man and Scar...even though he wasn't.