Shocking to hear you describing me! I've so much to learn and have made so many errors in the past, to my cost. This is powerful information and I thank you sincerely for sharing it.
I think this is all complicated by how each person defines "contentious people". If they have clearly wronged you (like legal stuff, abuse, etc), and you are trying to address that, they label you as "contentious", or "toxic", or "narcissistic", when in fact you are only trying to speak up for yourself and address the facts or get something "righted". Not trying at all to BE contentious, being factual, non-emotional, but still being called "contentious or toxic", so they can shut you out and brush their hands of you.
Thanks, extremely well put. Good for you! In my experience, I'd say it as follows, If they successfully get a rise from you causing you to get angry with them, well then they try to accuse you of precisely what they themselves are doing. Spreading their dark cloud energy bc they're constitutionally unable [or unwilling] to live life on life's terms, easier for them to play control & mind games, always trying to shine the spotlight elsewhere. Peace to you. ❤
I’m estranged from my entire family as the blacksheep and scapegoat. I finally came to realize that my sister had emotionally detached from me years ago. We used to be really close then out of the blue she became cold and distant towards me and it’s so weird cause we she get around me it’s the empty space look that she has in her eyes. When I’m around her all I feel is this void
I'm so sorry to hear this about your sister. I had/have the same issue. In my case, a narc who married into the family -- and used me to get there -- dumped me for my sister as her primary source of family power after I started to see through her crap. The narc turned my sister against me and it's been so terrible ever since. I don't understand how my sister was so easily manipulated. It's been six years. Another sister has died, our mother has died, and it's just gotten worse. It's spread to extended family, all due to this one evil witch. Do you think some other opportunist has turned your sister against you? This can run so deep though.
Thank you so much. I needed to hear this ahead of a big communal family lunch next week ahead of Christmas. I’m dreading it as I’m always ‘ganged up on’ at these things because I don’t fight back…but I’ve been working on myself recently so watch out family!!!! Boundaries are coming at ya!! I hate this time of year as me and my husband are excluded from their own family celebrations over the Christmas period, as we don’t have children and they have their own family units of which they are very protective, exclusive and jealous of any attention their grandchildren give to me, so we are left out but have this lunch weeks ahead of Christmas to pretend they care and want us around, when they really don’t. It’s so horrible and makes me feel so isolated especially when I see their Facebook posts of happy holiday family gatherings. Im not estranged from them but could have been, as it has been this way for many years. But I didn’t want to be the one who caused the rift, especially after we lost our beautiful, loving, inclusive mother who was the glue who held us together and would be appalled at how we are all behaving, me included, even though I don’t cause tension I’m just being myself but they consider me ‘odd’, I simply don’t trust any of them anymore and don’t feel close to any of them as we used before Mum passed away and they started bullying me and then telling me I’m too sensitive. Nasty immature unaware behaviour
I'm so sorry to hear you go through this with your family. People who use their family as weapons against childless siblings are evil. In my opinion. I also don't have children and get similar treatment from some wicked people who wield their children as weapons.
Hindsight: You can't ever defend or protect yourself from narcissist traits when you don't know what narcissism is. I wish I knew before so I could have protected myself better. Too late now. I've made mistakes and I'm not the most thoughtful person but I try to do the right thing and be really supportive.
It can be true that a person is hsp and their sibling is a complete monster. Calling someone hsp sounds too close to someone saying a person is "too sensitive". Adding words like over thinking and rumination is walking a tight rope of victim blaming. Often being hsp would be a result of having an abusive family. As opposed to being mutually exclusive factors. It's also not easy to understand yourself. So it would be easy to be in this situation and not be aware that the two are connected.
I kind of sense that you guys don't really have a true hold on being a highly sensitive. You don't fact check feelings feelings are feelings whether they're true or not. They are your own feelings and in my opinion by you saying you need to fact-check them is you saying you can't feel that way like we've been told our whole lives.
Hi Critical Thinker. Thanks for your comment. This video has to do with recognizing what an HSP looks and feels like. That being said, it's important to make sure your emotional self doesn't completely consume you. There can be a false sense of urgency associated in how one should act if basing decisions entirely on feelings. While feelings can feel very vivid, what they are telling us may not be the truth behind an occurence. That's why fact-checking is important. It helps to develop a more well-rounded view of a situation, instead of focusing on one single perspective.
@@SiblingEstrangement this makes sense. Do you mean check with ourselves to make sure our feelings reflect what is really going on for us, or not from a heightened dysregulated place?
The blacksheep portion of this conversation was so impactful for me.
Shocking to hear you describing me! I've so much to learn and have made so many errors in the past, to my cost. This is powerful information and I thank you sincerely for sharing it.
Thanks for sharing! Glad to see the video is helping you. :)
Wow, this is me! I'm INTJ and HSP. This was helpful!
I think this is all complicated by how each person defines "contentious people". If they have clearly wronged you (like legal stuff, abuse, etc), and you are trying to address that, they label you as "contentious", or "toxic", or "narcissistic", when in fact you are only trying to speak up for yourself and address the facts or get something "righted". Not trying at all to BE contentious, being factual, non-emotional, but still being called "contentious or toxic", so they can shut you out and brush their hands of you.
Completely agree and this is what my family does to me 😮
Thanks, extremely well put. Good for you!
In my experience, I'd say it as follows,
If they successfully get a rise from you causing you to get angry with them, well then they try to accuse you of precisely what they themselves are doing. Spreading their dark cloud energy bc they're constitutionally unable [or unwilling] to live life on life's terms, easier for them to play control & mind games, always trying to shine the spotlight elsewhere.
Peace to you. ❤
I’m estranged from my entire family as the blacksheep and scapegoat. I finally came to realize that my sister had emotionally detached from me years ago. We used to be really close then out of the blue she became cold and distant towards me and it’s so weird cause we she get around me it’s the empty space look that she has in her eyes. When I’m around her all I feel is this void
I'm so sorry to hear this about your sister. I had/have the same issue. In my case, a narc who married into the family -- and used me to get there -- dumped me for my sister as her primary source of family power after I started to see through her crap. The narc turned my sister against me and it's been so terrible ever since. I don't understand how my sister was so easily manipulated. It's been six years. Another sister has died, our mother has died, and it's just gotten worse. It's spread to extended family, all due to this one evil witch. Do you think some other opportunist has turned your sister against you? This can run so deep though.
Thank you so much. I needed to hear this ahead of a big communal family lunch next week ahead of Christmas. I’m dreading it as I’m always ‘ganged up on’ at these things because I don’t fight back…but I’ve been working on myself recently so watch out family!!!! Boundaries are coming at ya!! I hate this time of year as me and my husband are excluded from their own family celebrations over the Christmas period, as we don’t have children and they have their own family units of which they are very protective, exclusive and jealous of any attention their grandchildren give to me, so we are left out but have this lunch weeks ahead of Christmas to pretend they care and want us around, when they really don’t. It’s so horrible and makes me feel so isolated especially when I see their Facebook posts of happy holiday family gatherings. Im not estranged from them but could have been, as it has been this way for many years. But I didn’t want to be the one who caused the rift, especially after we lost our beautiful, loving, inclusive mother who was the glue who held us together and would be appalled at how we are all behaving, me included, even though I don’t cause tension I’m just being myself but they consider me ‘odd’, I simply don’t trust any of them anymore and don’t feel close to any of them as we used before Mum passed away and they started bullying me and then telling me I’m too sensitive. Nasty immature unaware behaviour
I'm so sorry to hear you go through this with your family. People who use their family as weapons against childless siblings are evil. In my opinion. I also don't have children and get similar treatment from some wicked people who wield their children as weapons.
Yes it’s me. My mother tore us apart
Sorry to hear that. You're more than she thinks of you, I'm certain.
@@SiblingEstrangement Thank you, I’m coming to terms with why she played divide & conquer with the family
Hindsight: You can't ever defend or protect yourself from narcissist traits when you don't know what narcissism is. I wish I knew before so I could have protected myself better. Too late now. I've made mistakes and I'm not the most thoughtful person but I try to do the right thing and be really supportive.
This guy is doing a very convincing impersonation of Kermit The Frog.
It can be true that a person is hsp and their sibling is a complete monster. Calling someone hsp sounds too close to someone saying a person is "too sensitive". Adding words like over thinking and rumination is walking a tight rope of victim blaming.
Often being hsp would be a result of having an abusive family. As opposed to being mutually exclusive factors. It's also not easy to understand yourself. So it would be easy to be in this situation and not be aware that the two are connected.
Beautifully articulated!
Thanks!!😀
Thank you sir.
You're quite welcome! :)
You guys are basically describing infp personality types.
It’s possible there can be overlaps with other psychological theories, if observed from different perspectives.
I kind of sense that you guys don't really have a true hold on being a highly sensitive. You don't fact check feelings feelings are feelings whether they're true or not. They are your own feelings and in my opinion by you saying you need to fact-check them is you saying you can't feel that way like we've been told our whole lives.
Hi Critical Thinker. Thanks for your comment. This video has to do with recognizing what an HSP looks and feels like. That being said, it's important to make sure your emotional self doesn't completely consume you. There can be a false sense of urgency associated in how one should act if basing decisions entirely on feelings. While feelings can feel very vivid, what they are telling us may not be the truth behind an occurence. That's why fact-checking is important. It helps to develop a more well-rounded view of a situation, instead of focusing on one single perspective.
@@SiblingEstrangement this makes sense. Do you mean check with ourselves to make sure our feelings reflect what is really going on for us, or not from a heightened dysregulated place?