Detach yourself from your child, a little. | Parenting - 107
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- Опубликовано: 18 май 2019
- This is for parents who worry a lot and are over-involved with their children. I share some thoughts that can help you detach, for the better.
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Thank you for such a powerful, educative and encouraging video, Shridhar. Parenting is a privilege which is gratifying and empowering. Monkey see, monkey do. We need to think, talk, act in a way that we wish to see in our children. Attachment is the source of fear, possessiveness and worry. Unconditional love will lead to healthy relationships filled with trust, courage, honesty and empathy. At the end of the day, our child is an individual different from us. We are robbing them from their identity by making them our clone with force and fear.
I'm worring about their outside life that is freind ship. Thanks alot to u. Showing me right way to handled my partner. Friends of my son
Thank you so much. You explained this concept very well. I am one who over parents but I am wanting to parent intentionally and learn to detach so that my child can learn from life's natural consequences. I have learnt that overparenting doesn't work as children don't appreciate the extra effort and time we put into helping them. I am trying to change my behaviors to invest back into my life. I think I lost myself in the parenting world. I am the parent that would stay home from a party to help my daughter study. Now, I am trying to change and go to a party even on nights my daughter is scrambling to study. As a mom it is hard to watch my daughter struggle, however I know that in struggle there is growth and lessons to be learnt. I really liked the way you explained that our child is 1 monkey in the middle of thousands of other monkeys. It just helps to visualize what you are trying to teach. Thank you. I feel much better after watching your videos and will be rewatching it over and over again.
The best thing about this video that he is generalising the child with SHE. I mean mostly when there is no specificafion of gender we use HE. N I always wonder about this. Its so gd to listen this.
I do over parent because my husband is just the opposite, he doesnt bother about them, I mostly worry about the time they waste and not taking care of their health and sleeping late
thank you sridhar. often observed that the father is obsessed with hygiene..frequent.hand wash ...and the child is disliking it.
Beautifully explained.amezing video.ya..first i was a very caring and strict parent but thankfully i learned in time that true appreciation can tranform your childs life.yes some time we have to let our child free ,and be like friends.
Beautifully explained,im worried about my child health that I feel its too much,I live in a extended joint family every now and then my mother-in-law will interrupt and make a fusion, which is causing serious problem relationship with my husband is not going well
Thank you 😊
Thank you
thank you
Same problem in suffering with my 10 years old boy he's very stubborn. Good ideas. I'll follow your aspect's definitely thank you....
Love your thoughts...
U r right...Same feelings Sir...👍
Thank you Shridhar 😇
Thank you for sharing. You are doing a fabulous job in bringing awareness to this world.
Sir ji you are so at the subject..... I m over worrying type of parent..i got a different insight of detaching a little from them. He is a single child. So all the more attention on him... Thank you. You speech is very confident, clear and meaningful.... Loved it
Omg thank you! I am so much more than just a parent.
Great takeaways from your videos. Thanks and am Grateful to your valuable work!
Thanq for such a wonderful vedios...I felt i wanted to be a best mom for my kids ...am availabls to them at all the time..providing everything before they come to me as they can't express...that's failed...as my baby still does not speak nd ask for what she wants.from now I follow ur all lovable suggestions...thanx for helping all the parents 😍😘
Sir , you are too good .
A treasure of valuable information
Wonderful ..excellent ..what not ..
Thankyou dear for such a good video....I do over care for my child as I wanted to b the best mom and I do forget myself nd I can see that in my frustration........in short I have to b happy first then I can make them happy .... .u r great man👍
My mom would be the type of mother that wouldn't alow me to go outside and play with my peers in the neighbourhood. So I didn't get to be that social with others. Now though she blames me and doesn't understand why I don't go out, or talk with people. When it's her that doesn't allow me to become: I'll become a "yob/gypsy" like the kids in my street. Thank you mom for making me socially awkward and anxious
Made a lot of sense and I wish I had done what you say earlier, my kids are grown up now but I’m trying it now and it’s working in some ways even now.
You are just supreme....my thinking is like you only...I believe in genes.....I follow you.....you supported my thoughts which I was following ...thank you very much 🙏
Love your videos! Thank you
WOW.... wonderful video..I am undergoing this ... According to me I was the best mom ... always available and supporting my son...in any situation and helping him...But This year he has started conveying me through his actions and words and I realize it was maybe overparenting...and I am deeply saddened thinking how my method failed...So as you said I need to zoom out....will try..love you for making such videos
Best vedio sir 👍
Well said. Very well said.
Your lecture is really eye opening lecture for me, now i realise unknowingly i tried to discipline my child but it doesn't work the result is disappointment ,,so I should keep little detached myself. Definetly I will work on it
Good work, very good work, well presented and timed, the last point of listening to the video again and again till it sinks in is very correct.
Thank you so much!!!! My over parenting cropped up from the fact that I was busy birthing and raising my younger daughter during the initial precious years of my elder son.... Now i am guilt ridden and want to correct the damage done as my son is full of silence, not sensitive towards others and not expressive.....i sucked as parent.....pls help.... Can't control my tears while writing this
Your videos are invaluable!
Thank you.
Thankyou so much for your motivational guidance.I will begin to detach myself slowly from them and concentrate more on my happiness.
Lovely Mr. Shridar. Your videos are good to shape our child. Hatsoff.
Thank God, I'm already detaching myself, but your video cleared my concept of detaching.
I was overparenting ..had realised this few months bk..and now correcting myself..and definitely made some positive changes in myself
Thank you for this insight you have provided... I was thinking so that I am over parenting(was not sure though) and was looking for a way out. This video helped me and I am sure now I was thinking right about my over parenting!!😎
Much needed video....i have lost my own personality in parenting my children
Wow. I loved it.
If the child is independent and responsible, I am ready to back off and enjoy my life but that is not the case. I have to push him to get his work done.
This is aheartfelt thankyou
You nailed it shridhar.......thanks
Thanks for this vedio
Use ful tips
Excellent sridhar.. Thank you
Awesome advises sir in very simple way..
U helped me a lot for all relations and my mental health peace too
Thnk you sir
Simply awesome. I was desperately in need of this.Thank you so much
Thanks Shridhar, u reminded me that i am doing wrong, n i have to detach a little, or the relation will be spoiled, God bless u.
Super, very wise, thanks a lot 😊
U r amazing. Thank you so much for such insights.
This video is for me. As a mother over parenting has ruined my life and my son's.
rani naik : how? Can you more elaborate it?
so refereshing to hear you and this is eye openor
This is very true
Good one Sir.... very useful
Amazing work, thought,analysis & dialogues. I love listing ur deepest analytical thought. Keep growing best wishes👍👏👏
Absolutely love you videos... taken off so much pressure... Will surely listen to to Audio books
Lovely! Thanks for this advices ❤️
Amazing video sridhar......please make a video especially for grown up kids about 20 years ....sometimes they try to overpower parents
Awesome 👏🏽
Very good and impressive talk. I started practicing long back. I started moving with friend only and he shares majority with me. My husband is nit like that. So daily rift between them. My son is 16 yrs old. Plguide me as he is very much updated in latest gadgets and shows interest in tinkering and robots
I am really impressed with this video of yours. thankyou so much,
Yes you are right... We must focus on building a long term relationship with the child rather than a short term.. I am convinced with your suggestions and I promise myself to follow immediately as my child is more important to me rather than anything else... Thanks so much for the guidance...
Love it. This is great. Thank you so much 🙂. You are right on point 👍
How do u explain this over parenting with a husband who has a personality disorder and he is obsessed about my 20 yr old son so much that my son become angry and withdrawn even towards me though I am quite liberal with him
Excellent
Good one 🙏
nicely explained
Very nice
Your videos are really really awesome ..pls make a video on how to handle ourselves first n then d child when they break our trust on them inspite of being fair enough on their part.
Nice video
I worry that if either of my children get killed or incapacitated doing something risky that I won’t mentally recover from it. I lived 32 years of my life without them just fine- but I question whether I could go on if something tragic happened to them because I didn’t teach them to make good decisions.
Super
i agree
I m thinking that how u know all this.well u r a psychiatric but u know it very well.This is my problem.im facing it.Thank a lot
👍
ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I'VE LISTENED TO TILL NOW ANYYWHEREEE.... SUPERBBB.....YOU ARE DOING A GREATTT WORK.. KEEP IT UP. GOD BLESS YOU.❤
best ever thought
kash koi ise Hindi me translate karke post kare
Hi sir ur videos are very useful for me and I’m over parenting and I don’t know how to control my kids and my self I’m worrying too much
SRILANKAN RECIPES : I want to just tell you something: I knew a mum like you and she was over pampering and over parenting her child. But, one day, sadly she passed away and her child forced to live in other tough situations. The child suffered incredibly at first , but slowly he adapted to new situations of his life !
What you understand from this story?
Life is so unpredictable and no one knows that what happened on next minute. So, Enjoy them, relax with them and more importantly not too much controlling them.
As a Parent, if we have this wisdom , then we will try to parenting our kids with more free mind , relaxed and little bit un attached (not too much) from them. Because our kid’s lives are not in our control at all . If we parenting with this knowledge, kids can adapt new situations in their lives with more easily .
I worry about making my daughter independent in studies as well as in daily routine chores
Do a vedio for the parents who adopted children
Hi a very very good advice as u said am the same mother of thoughts but I'm trying to change myself . but the only problem or question my children are the basic the routine things like both sons of 7the & 4the won't brush teeth , washing face ... Going to wash room themselves , bathing neatly these are main problems except reading & handwriting. Please help me in mornings it'll be a big messy as a fish market
Hi plz make it in Hindi because it's helpful to all which are weak in English .
My child is 7 months old and I care for her a lot.. I think my mom in law won't be able to take care of her in the best possible way.. she would scold her, won't be able to handle her tantrums.. I do not keep my daughter with anyone else.
😘😘😘😘
All advices to parents..can you guid the children towards their parents..
Become friend to your own children. ....
I worry a lot about my husband. He has alcohol addiction problems because of which my parenting skills go for a toss.
How to make our children confident enough to face small situations himself
Hello sir very Good Morning very much true about all lectures my question is if a only child is not studying well when he is in class 10 and facing board exams and a lot of compliant about academic and school literally blames the student to be on the safer side in this regard what type of measures to be taken as portents please give suggestions sir
Thanks for the wonderful video...I always end up crying and making the day over beating him when I say things for nearly half an hour my 2.8 year old son did not do.i feel ashamed of doing this repeatedly...
I am fighting for divorce, so I always make sure I play role of parents not alone a mother. But I also feels at times I do over parenting. What should I do.
I am worried about my child s education. and over pampering from family
I am not able to find the audiobooks in your website. Can anyone help please?
I think, Indian Mums, European Mums , most of Mums from different countries , are over parenting and worrying too much ! But, most of Mums from England are incredibly and unbelievably detached from their kids !!
They gave their kids a total freedom and most of Mums from England are quite self centred Mums too.
That’s for me, a little bit too much !
Some of them are spot on , but others become selfish with self centred too much.
It’s hard to balance in between as a parent.
At the end of the day, I say to everyone that DO YOUR BEST ! Act wisely and chill out !
Over parenting and less parenting with too much self centred characters are harmful to kids.
I knw it's wring keeping d child scolding all d tym fr every small things lk during havin food n by wachin TV n any other wrk which has to be dn by dem ...bt they dnt listen to it scolding ll be d alternate choice fr a parent n after feelin fr v as parent do ...pls clar me wat I can do better
Thanks for your suggestions but i am worried about my son who is so confused regarding what to do after completing 12.He makes his choice but then not happy about it and starts blaming me although it is his choice in the beginning.
Vijayshree Singh : He is just an adolescent and it’s normal that they are confused and rebellious on that age ! If you know the psychological part of each age, you wouldn’t worry like this !
How not to interfere in married daughter,s life. Plz suggest.
give some advice teenagers girl and how can i understand about her feelings.
very true
Hello sir. I c myself as a over parenting mum. Inspite of knowing this am nt able 2 keep calm that its ok if my kids don't study sometimes, it's OK if they don't eat properly, it's OK if sometimes they don't listen to me. And many more. I start over reacting 1c the thought of my hub saying " these kids r too much ND they don't change if they r at home. So will join them into hoatel" or " u r at home ND is this the way u r bringing up the kids? U r nt even working and u r full time with them and hw r u raising the kids? They r so disrespectful, and all". Nw I start worrying ND over react with kids if they do anything which I say no or if they don't do what I ask them to. I even lose my control ND hit. I repent after that bt damage is already done. Pls help me out with this. Nw the stage has come that my 10yr old boy doest even care what I say. He jus hates me to the core. It hurts alot. Bt I know it was me who made the relation like this. Pls help me out sir. I seriously need help on this. Nw my inlaws also started saying my 10yr old that " don't listen to mumma. Shez nt nice 2 u ND she doesn't love u. She never gives chips to u inspite of dadda buying them. She eats all the chips and chocolates 1c u go 2 school". After this my son started saying it on my face that "u r nt a good mumma. Jus leave us and go. V don't need u anymore. Even granny is saying u r nt good and u don't give us anything good and tasty food." it's jus killing me.
Omg
Why are you suffering so much dear
Just leave them n enjoy
Believe me if you are happy then only you can make others happy.
N tell Ur child n inlaws u r bad granny giving dirty food to boy.
Better just take your attention away
Hi, I understand your pain and agony... I am also partly there... Problem is with the world who dictate how a mother should be... I will give u some tips -
1) don't blame yourself completely for present situation
2) take your child out sometime alone and start talking anything... Make him your friend first
3) later, slowly once you know they are listening to you... Tell them what you say no to chocolates and all... Even I am strict...people (my own parents, husband and in laws) say lots of stuff... pls Don't care too much... Become strict inside... Don't become sensitive
4) be as much calm as possible., It's hard but it pays
5) follow these steps at least a month... Your child will improve relation with u... Don't worry... You are their mother, nobody can replace your place in the whole world!!!
Have courage and handle
@@vartikavaish6377 thank u for the concern buddy. Bt I have promised my husband that what ever the situation is I will not leave him (marriage vows). My kids r into this world as I wished 2 b a mom bt nt they wished 2 b in this world. So I feel it's my responsibility 2 make them good citizens. ND when comes to inlaws, if they r nt there my husband is nt there nd my kids too. I respect them as my parents. Unfortunately that relation of mother in law and daughter in law is the culprit I feel. That relation doesn't let us live in peace. It's nt the fault with the person bt it's with the relation. Shez so good to all others (even to unknown ppl) except me. ND 1 more thing I believe is, if husband is understanding person then no 1 else can talk bad abt a female. If he doesn't respect his wife no 1 else will respect her. Even the children. They jus take it for granted. Sorry if I am wrong. Bt I can't leave them. They r my family. And am addicted to love them no matter what they give me back
@@rainbow_world5560 Thank u buddy for all the tips. Will try to do.
@@AshuAjayYashas after seeing your post, I realised I am not the only one fighting this battle... Thank you too!!😊