Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. This one is for the ladies. In this episode, I'll explain how you may be inadvertently messing up with the men you actually want to keep in your life. Most women punish the men they like, and this behavior can drive away the ones you want to stay. Absenting an explicit commitment to the contrary, if a certain behavior wouldn't bother you coming from a man you could take or leave, you shouldn't let it bother you coming from a man you really like. This doesn't mean putting up with bad behavior. It means that the definition of bad behavior doesn't change depending on your feelings. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Your insertions of slang in some of your videos are hilarious and had me wanting to hear more lol "just keeping it a buck" and "my dude" for example are classic
Something women especially need to know. It's also that articulating those emotions are really important to prevent people from doing what you do not want them to do.
@@dr.redphdleasurestudies.5399 By who specifically? Who said men need to show more emotions without emphasising or giving good examples? That is the real incompetence of the situation, how stupid do you have to be to just say suppress your emotions without pointing out exactly why and how to do so? Now is it any surprise when new incompetent morons tell men to "show emotions" Without specifying what emotions to show and how to articulate it.
@@dr.redphdleasurestudies.5399 In a way yeah that is true. Considering psychopaths are actually quite successful in carriers. It's a rather disturbing trend i have noticed. It's likely because such people are strongly driven by shallow things and many people are being taught to value things like "game" And "success". It has become soo bad that on one side of the political isle you have absolutely Degeneracy and on the other you have suit wearing bots or muscle man brutes being the core template each side resonates too. It's absolutely nuts.
I dated a woman one time. I confronted her about her bad behaviour towards me. She said “you always treat the person you love the most, the worst”. The relationship ended shortly thereafter.
I got the phrase "It's who I am and I'm comfortable around you to reveal myself". That's cool and all- but I asked "why am I the only person in your world you treat this way?". There's no excuse for being mean and saying truly hurtful things.
I stopped talking to my ex girlfriend for a week when I got tired of her shit. It took a whole fucking week, and then she showed up at my place and had the most loving look in her eyes, gave me the most passionate kiss I've ever received, and I was fucking PISSED. I had to IGNORE her to get the attention I wanted and the only time she would show love is if I neglected her like her father did.
Another brilliant point. The more a wife punishes us, the less we are attracted to her, until she has stomped out the flames of love with her own two feet. Then she wonders what happened.
"absenting some explicit expectation to the contrary" ... If you're married, you shouldn't play games with your beloved's heart. You're not in the 'barely know her phase" after all.
Being single is not what we're made for. It goes against biology and humanity. You can not be a whole person if the only thing you care about is yourself.
My ex fiance, during a disagreement, returned the ring I gave her. I took it as it looked, engagement over, thus relationship over, no big deal. So I cancelled the wedding plans and bookings. After a month of her trying to reconcile for God knows what reason, she says “I gave you the ring back to teach you a lesson.” I go “you cannot use a sacred bond as a manipulation tool. This is never happening again, goodbye.” I guess she learned her lesson. Still a spinster. Vindication is good 😇
@@paulmares9815 a spinster is a woman who never married. Her lesson was not to "teach lessons" by treating an engagement ring as a bargaining tool to get her way.
I tried to explain this concept to my wife without success. She asked me why I don't tell her things that involve bad news, and I explained because she never reacts well. Therefore, while I don't have a problem with communicating the news what she is teaching me unknowingly is that she doesn't really want to hear it and punishing me for delivering it doesn't incentivize me to do so.
It's the same thing when women complain about men never showing emotion. When we do show emotions, they usually either A: friend zone us immediately, B: withhold sex from us if in s relationship or C: Break up with us. Why on earth should we then be emotional? It doesn't get us anywhere
@Thefly142 It's a test, that's why. A lot of what women demand isn't because they genuinely want that thing from you. It's them testing to see how far they can push you around or push your buttons. Just do what you want, think is right and always maintain emotional control. If you made plans to go fishing with the friends and she asks that you not to. Go fish with your friends. She'll respect you more for standing up to her and not being submissive. If she is sick and you cancel some plans to stay with her and she suggests you instead leave her for your original plans, stay and take care of her. You're being a leader, and you show you care for her. If she tries to irritate and bother you. Keep your cool. If you get angry and mad it shows you are emotionally weak and unsafe. She's probing you for weakness and as soon as you show it she will strike harder. You have to be an unmoveable rock against the waves and even storms she will send your way. It's a test of your strength and fortitude. So when a woman complains you aren't more emotional it's a freaking test.
@@joygibbons5482 That isn't sexual neediness. It's ANY form of neediness. Ideally they want someone who exhibits zero needs (of her) but provides endlessly for her wants and needs without question or qualification. Even to the extent that they ANTICIPATE her needs and she doesn't even have to point them out. "I shouldn't have to tell you!" etc etc. Women fight tooth and nail to avoid any performative burden on their part. Which going back to your point is explainable biologically (virtually everything is "explainable biologically") but ultimately results in utterly pathetic asymmetry in a relationship.
you can,t make a woman happy whatever you do or accomplish for them, you just highten the standards untill you can,t meet them anymore. most men end up in this situation, where they did so much for their woman, that they didn,t meet her standards anymore. like if you buy her flowers once, she expects it in certain timeframes in the future, if you pay her rent once, she,ll make it a standard... whatever you do you always screw yourself.
It does! If you don't care about the person, you don't care about his behavior as well. You are seeing potential partner in the man you like. If his behaviour disappoints you, you feel pain. It's not about punishing, just reacting from a place of pain.
My mother used to continually play the following trick on my stepfather: her: I feel that you did thing x to upset me. him: that isn't right; you might feel that way but that isn't why I did thing x. her: but that's how I feel. him: well you shouldn't feel that way, because that isn't why I did thing x. her: [now shouting] DON'T TELL ME HOW I SHOULD FEEL! What a dirty trick.
It’s time to stop, normalizing, emotional abuse, coercion, isolation, and intimidation towards men in relationships. This is the definition of Domestic Abuse.
To turn the tables we gotta get rid of the simps and gatekeep the tyrones And become Chad None of you have anytjing better to do than improve Seeking diversion ALWAYS isnpathetic You can hit the gym and still play vidya gaymes
@@theeternalslayer if witchcraft, you must add sexual and reproductive coercion, social and physical poisoning, general deception, and conjuring of malicious spirits for the purpose of harming others. I agree. That’s witchcraft.
The more a woman treats a man badly, the more the attraction he has towards her keeps shedding away, until it's done and that's when a man leaves, and when a man says he is leaving he is leaving. When a man is no longer attracted to you it is done ladies, you can never turn back the hands of time. When you tell women these things they don't want to listen. This has happened in my life, I will be there looking at her like she is a stranger, not even a positive emotion towards her, then I will tell her it's over.
better strategy is not telling her anything and just leaving right away. this is called ghosting and this drives them crazy. she will crave for a closure inside.
And when as a last resort they cry and plead and say they'll never do it again, I say it's too late.. They've already shown me what they are. Marrying someone like that because you think a marriage ceremony it a magic spell that will make both of you better people is such a common mistake, probably the most common one for first marriages.
@@tarkgundogdu8940 That only works on girls with women's bodies, emotionally mature women don't care about a boy with a man's body ghosting her because a real man will resolve it in a certain manner not play
I would further add that: Women do not punish the high value men that they're giving their best sex to because they can't afford to piss him off... and they later take out that anger on others.
I'm so glad someone else sees this. I'm dating a woman who is emotionally and intimately distant towards me because her previous relationship fucked her good for a month but then ghosted her. Now she's basically taking it out on me even though I didn't do anything wrong. I tried but I'm going to break it off. It's not fair to me that she's treating me as though I'm the one who used and dumped her.
I punish women for bad behaviour like this. If a girl I'm dating tried to 'punish' me once I'll tell her it's the last time she does that. If she does it again she's gone. If I want drama I'll go see a movie.
It never ceases to amaze me how women get together and complain about how men treat them, then when they are with their man, will regularly treat him with incredibly cruel behavior. Words and actions. I'm curious what women get out of being cruel to the man they are with. Then leave him and run to find a man who will be cruel to her and cling to him with everything she has. Like a game. Either be cruel to me, or I will be cruel to you. No wonder I live with my dog.
It's because their genuine interest is in the "cruel" guy. Many women perceive a solid, dependable relationship as predictable and boring, and even feel a sense of weakness about a guy who does that much for her. So she quickly feels discontent and unfulfilled with said relationship......leading to acting out against the guy that, on a deeper level, she never really wanted much anyway
And to add to that: (and this is just my opinion, I think this also helps take away some of the anger) I don’t think the majority of them are aware, or conscious of what they’re doing over a span of time. They are typically led by their emotions; which, we all know, are as consistent as the weather. They do what feels good/right/justifiable in the moment, and many will avoid any retrospective or introspective considerations that could make them FEEL like a bad person, woman, mother, girlfriend, or wife. So they continue repeating the same patterns with each new partner. There’s also “loving/romantic” mistakes us guys make: like tolerating bad behavior, never saying no (and actually meaning it), not wanting to give up on someone who (at one time) made us feel loved, not establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries. All of which tells a woman, instinctively, ‘this may not be a man I can trust fully, if he’ll let me (a girl half his size) be disrespectful and run all over him, how could he compete against other men, could he really protect me against the ruthless ppl out there, etc?’ Again, I don’t think they’re conscious of it, but their instincts can be right; even if the way they express them, in words and actions, may be wrong or cruel. Most of us were programmed by movies and television in the same manner women were, and it takes A LOT of open and honest self reflection, desire, discipline, dedication, courage, and consistency to actually make real behavioral changes since we’ve been building those habits up since childhood, and they served us well in childhood. But there comes a time where those same habits that rewarded us when we were young can be a hindrance, or downright counterproductive.
They tend to push away who they love because of their insecurities. Not always the “bad boy” is so bad, they just prefer to stick with the safest option. That’s why they will never really love “that good guy”, not because it’s just “boring”, but because they betrayed themselves in the first place.
I've had a hunch for a very long time that when they realise they're dealing with a decent guy, they push him away or reject him because they realise that they're nowhere near good enough for him. They loathe themselves.
@@EE12CSVT yup they have the imposter syndrom. They cant feel good and are always in fear of loosing the good guy. They dont have that issue with the looser.
@@EE12CSVT I never thought of it like that, but that does fit in like a puzzle piece to my own experiences with women. As a good guy that gets to know them, treats them well, but not to the point of "nice guy", that makes a lot of sense with how they've reacted to me.
@@VoiceOvaGuy 'As a good guy that gets to know them, treats them well, but not to the point of "nice guy", ' Ditto. I naiively believe in a civilised society, and a civilised society depends on people treating each other with respect, fairness, politeness, manners, and integrity. In other words 'good' guys and women. That's the theory. If everyone did that, society would be harmonious, productive, safer, and much more enlightened. But it isn't. The only way to proceed or make capital in life is to act the opposite. And women only seem to respect the opposite.
But you don't get to be loved by a woman which is an outstanding experience to live and you'd like to make love, cause just hired or casual sex or watching porn it's emotionally tiresome. We have the need to be loved.
@@drno1257 I disagree, a real man addresses his natural desire to be loved by a woman and he loves, honours, respects, cares for, provides to and protects his beloved one. A man who is mature enough knows whom to choose and whom stay away from, namely, those unstable type of woman.
that's a good argument but for how long. How long can one stay single in the name of "peace of mind", the bitter medicine is one eventually will or have to find someone to get involved with. That's just the nature of reality we live in.
It is always so refreshing when you encounter a woman who doesn’t act crazy and doesn’t drink too much and has intelligent things to say. Just keep looking for those girls. Forget about the ones that just want to party and bounce from guy to guy. They are easy to spot if you just open your eyes a bit and don’t think with the wrong head.
You just triggered my ex trauma. The highly intelligent OCD fitness nut who didn't drink much. Also a covert narc who thinks she can do better while being the one who sabotaged the relationship...
A big mistake that men make is considering women to be nurturing. That's fine if you are a baby but between adult men and women the man is the nurturer and has the preconditions that go with that. Men expect that they will have to make more of an an effort because they are not natural nurturers when the opposite is true . A man's nurturing instinct toward females makes him particularly vulnerable. A man will often forgo his own safety to ensure the safety of a woman . This rarely happens the other way around. Women will do things for men but this is mostly transactional. That's why you wont hear much about women sacrificing their lives for men because once you are dead there is no payback. Such sacrifice requires a nurturing attitude of the highest degree. There are always exceptions to the rule of course but you should never make the mistake that a woman will feel the same way toward you as you do toward her.
if you love someone who doesn't love you you should learn self respect and leave. If the case is more complicated then help her learn to love or whatever but don't be stupid about it. Women have protected me and I've seen them protect other men. I don't suppose most women are good but neither are most men. When you start talking about how "women" behave and you somehow assume men love women more those are red flags for me.
🙏 Rightly said Sir! Although we must be careful of not committing sexism in our honest opinions , but in a successful union , Men are the ones who Practiced more of the Respect , Love & Royalty in a relationship , based on real life experiencess as compared to romanticised novels or movies! Thank You So Much Sir for the honest illumination to guide the inexperienced & younger generation! In real life , many women have to deal with their own 101 bodily & mental problems! ... 🌷🌿🌍💜🕊
A woman finds a man attractive and she spends all her efforts to turn him into something she is not attracted to. They work a relationship to it's end.
This perfectly explains the complete freak out the girl I was dating had when I told her I already had plans for New Years. Her reaction (after just a month of dating and me having prior plans to see my sick friend) destroyed any attraction I had towards her
Started dating month prior to New Years? She was Date Dating...Happens around class reunion time, her best friends weddings, New Years, and on and on. She will be very clever about the date will unfold in your dating adventures. If you would 'show' well to the other guests you will be lavished with the FULL GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE. Either the relationship may continue after the big event OR she is done with you and she will discard you... True Facts!
It is extremely illogical and counterproductive to punish the one that they like. They are asking for exactly what they don't want by their own behavior.
Yep, because for a sex that supposedly has better emotional intelligence, they can't communicate to save their lives. It's why men give up with them. Be straight, be honest, say what you mean, dont hide things, don't play games, don't wrap up what you really mean inside something else to the contrary.
@@EE12CSVT yep. That’s bc their indirect creatures. Protecting themselves from physical harm by use of indirection and misdirection. I work with all women as I’m a male teacher and everything they say and do has a hidden meaning.
@@jadar9356 correct. My dad explained it to me kinda like that. It's kinda like our genitals, males are direct like a straight line which is like the shape of our penis, women are indirect like a circle which would represent the vagina. I know it's kind of a weird way to describe it but it's interesting how genitals represent the nature of men and women's behavior. With that being said never listen to a woman's words and only pay attention to her actions
@@johnhammink2716 She was really into me, we got along fairly well. She was a insecure 6, overweight and a single mom, successful career. Could've been a sugar mama. I wanted to wait to have sex and get to know her because women these days are nuts. She ended up showing her true colors, being all about her "sexual independence" and I definitely wasn't having it. She got with a Tyrone who treated her like dirt. Then, she will blame men for her problems and perpetuate the cycle. They gotta suffer and learn.
So to summarise, 1. Expect from them what you would from a stranger. 2. Regulate your unspoken emotions on your own. 3. Hold your ground on explicitly stated expectations.
This is why I teach my little girls to treat people politely and with respect, especially when you would like something from them. If you’re unkind and unfair to someone they aren’t going to want to please you, and will eventually go out of their way to make sure they don’t. The idea that me not raising them the right way could lead to them ultimately losing someone that loves them as much as I do is heartbreaking. This goes for more than just love, but friends too.
To be fair, I've realized that I - and many other men - were controlling in our youths, not so much afterwards. The difference is that, as a generalization, women tend to be harsh and cruel mostly to people around them, while for men it's mostly outside their inner circles. There are nuances and degrees but overall.
This is really sad that the healthy people who want to make it work peacefully never find each other until they are jaded. And they likely self sabotage.
Brilliant points. I tried 4yrs to save a single mother and give her a comfortable high value life..but she wore me out with her indifferent attitude lack of appreciation..or reciprocated communication..she took me for granted..and walked away ..back to her tinder and IG..shallow existence. She wrecked the best man she will ever have who was willing to buy into that situation they self sabotage ..they know when they just dont deserve it...
Lesson #1 never save a single mom. 80% of single moms ditched a decent guy but will make it out that he was “toxic”. Those single moms will do the same to you and claim you were “toxic” before moving on to their next target.
Ultimately the problem relates to the fact that treating a man as a lover is better for him than treating him as a husband. A lover gets all pleasures for free while a husband has to pay a gargantuan amount of effort for them. Therefore if a woman did have a lover at least once, then all potential long-term partners are in a position of "why are you trying to treat me worse than your lovers? You gave your sexuality to them for free, but you're putting requirements on me? And I'm supposed to be your special one"?
@@g.cold94 *humans created, not god. Eastern societies like India not following Abrahamic religions historically do this too, and by any statistic, much better than the west.
@@g.cold94 Oh he created marriage? Hahaha. Then explain how monogamy existed before religious institutions? Ah so he created marriage and didnt give us the guide to it yet. Ah yes makes so much logical sense. Religious dogma is as irrational as feminism. Traditional culture and values existed before your religious institutions and will exist long after your fairytales die out.
Damn. I used to think like this but I promise you that its more of you not necessarily feeling a deep connection with your partner. When you find your person, you wont even have these type of thoughts.
you got that right. female dual mating strategy. lovers vs. providers. rockstars vs. accountants. you either "use her" or she "uses you". and you know what the best/worst part is? she'll never resent the lover that dumped her. she'll keep the fond memories and lament that she was not good enough to retain him while simultaneously punishing her faithful husband. but who cares anyway, he's just a workhorse and he should be glad that she's even in his life.
But what do you think women need from relationship? Em-o-ti-ons. No emotions, no emotional safety and support means unhappy and empty relationship. Some people like it that way but it's not universal.
I agree I also think it applies to men with women also. Ive noticed in my own life the women's behaviors that annoyed me most was the women I liked, yet if it was some woman I had no feelings for, I not only didn't care if she ever texted, I didn't care if she was mad at me for not texting her. I didn't realize until later I was being hypocritical and applying double standards. Classic example, if some woman I didn't like posted some provocative picture I might roll my eyes and think she was sad. Yet if it was a woman I liked, even if I didn't say anything I'd feel jealousy and also a much more judgmental attitude towards her. And you're right, it will push that person away. Ive noticed this aspect with even friends versus strangers. If for example some random person you barely know buys a new house or car you might think cool, looks great, etc. However often with friends we become judgemental. " how'd you afford it" " you should save for a rainy day" " looks like too much house for me to clean" " I never was into shiny things " its been said but we do hurt the ones we love. It's a difficult but necessary step to overcome on the path to self awareness because nobody wants to be the villain in their own stories.
@@jockamofeno7632 I understand. And ironically those are usually the most successful relationships in my opinion. When a man is in a relationship with a woman he's infatuated with it usually turns the woman off and she sees herself as above him. When a womans in a relationship with a man shes infatuated with it keeps her in a submissive role and more feminine. In either case someone won't feel as passionate but when it's the woman that isn't passionate about the man it rarely will last.
@@modickens1272 It's true. Men also screw up when their attraction levels are high, but they often do it in a different way than women do. In my experience, it's more akin to what you described in your response to Jackamo than in your original post. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episodes on the balance of attraction ("The balance of attraction," "Being loved by the one you're with," "Being with the one you love") for more on this concept.
Well it makes sense that you would be more invested in the behaviour of people you are invested in than people you aren't. If other people want to do stupid or distasteful things then it doesn't bother you because you are not in any way responsible for them, but if you ARE responsible for or associated with them then their behaviour and conduct can reflect back on you, positively or negatively. E.g. if your girlfriend is posting nudes online that should upset you, but if a random woman is doing that, you wouldn't care at all because it has nothing to do with you.
My husband is very critical of me and often says I am not as good of a cook as his mother. I've asked my MIL to come over and teach me how to make some dishes that he likes and now he criticizes me when I don't have the time to complete certain tasks, which doesn't happen all the time. I work (4) 14 hour nursing shifts weekly, but I just can't be Martha Stewart.
I could be wrong but what I understood from your video is that women seek to get an emotional response from men and the men who are willing to put up with this behavior(nice guy?), will continue to be on the receiving end of it, while the guys who don't want to put up with that(a-holes?)walk away at the first sign of unwanted drama.
Yes, but it's the guys who feed the emotional response back to the women are the ones they want. The guys who don't want the drama or don't respond to their emotions are the guys the women don't want. He has no use for her.
Think it this way, a woman insults you for the car you drive. Now few things are possible as your response 1. You ignore it, in this you are secure male. 2. You get pissed and become angry. She will not like you 3. You secretly start feeling bad and tomorrow show up in new car. This is what she wants. She wants to emotionally rule you but doesn't want anger, hate, from you. So jealous/insecure men who are always wanting to prove themselves without lashing out, are what women go after. These men seem secure on surface but deep now they aren't.
@@DraculaMachine-zs9bu Although after a while they start to resent the insecure guy because of how weak they are and instead run into the arms of what they perceive as a strong man.
Another way of putting it is ... women despise super nice guys who are emotionally weak and who worship them .. women adore guys who are confident, a bit dangerous , and who never ever put up with women's BS bitching & nagging and let women know they could leave them for another higher quality women in a millisecond. Then, you are a priceless, high value man in her eyes.
@@CleanSweetHome or she leaves you. I put my ex narc in her place and that was too much for her. I was too dangerous uncovering her vulnerability... inside narcissist are really weak and empty. I feel really sorry for her.
This describes exactly how I decided to walk away from my mom for a few years. Her controlling behavior made it such a chore to be around her that I just quit trying, and since I lived a few states away, it was very easy to cut her out of my life.
Its hard for them to understand that the way they fEEl about their actions aren't the only opinion that matters. Its self centeredness. This person has chosen to stop maturing and growing as a person
That was a reoccurring thing in my last relationship. My ex always justified her actions because of what she FEELS she should do. In her mind she thinks that if she FEELS it then it must be right because she doesn't want to invalidate her feelings. With that level of selfishness she completely ignored how any of her actions had an effect on me. She wanted me to care about her feelings at the expense of mine. A lot of women, scratch that. Girls are so self centered they put their feelings as a number one priority no matter who they hurt in the process
Women remember this when your friends ask for advice your bad advice to make them feel good in the moment causes worse harm than be kind a gentle but honest one!!
Even more important is that many people were never taught the right way. They only remember instinctively when they're a kid, they could get what they want by yelling/screaming, and generally using negative energy to get their way. People should learn how to maturely discuss, request, and positively influence others to reach inter-personal harmony. It goes for almost every type of relationship.
Ppl ought to rather be reminded to learn every so often hw to maturedly interact, discuss, request, demand & positively influence others to reach Interdependent , Interpersonal & Inpersonal harmony rather dan personal hegemony..!
Its not easy being the good catch in 2023. This gave great language for what it’s been like. I’m finding it tempting to dumb myself down to make myself more palatable to the consumer (women) because showing investment and healthy courtship seems to get us mistreatment instead of reciprocity. She has the prayer answered in front of her but thinks there’s a better deal out there. It’s like you have to date in phases. Keep the mystery about yourself
Many women will ghost a guy and or throw temper tantrum silent treatments in the hopes that he will “learn his lesson”, when the fact of the matter is she ends up chasing him away then will complain that she cant find a decent guy.
It's narcissism, the hypothetical women is a narcissistic women. Insecure, paranoid, controlling, abusive, setting double standards, guilt tripping, etc. A non narcissistic women treats their partners with trust and respect because they are coming from a secure position. I've seen both men and women behave narcissistical and they both act the same as the hypothetical women.
@@justin-credible "Justin credible" do you realize what you are giving away about yourself by not only disagreeing without stating your reason why, as if you think just saying nope to someone's oppinion has credibility, but also with the name tag you go by. "Hello everyone, I'm Justin Incredible, if you don't believe me just ask me". There is a saying "Speak of the devil and he shall appear". In this case I have commented on narcissism and narcissism has presented itself.
Yes!! I just learned about punishments and natural consequences in relationships. Out of relationships there are these hidden expectations when attraction or desire is present! So true Love your videos!!!
Yes women will always show small Red Flags of their emotional instability or mental issues/childhood....etc. Men should look for even tiny signs and leave. Never impregnate a woman (use birth control including Tubal Ligation) and dont marry her for ar least 7- 10 years minimum of vetting and carefully watching without letting her know you are looking for the truth.
This is such a breath of fresh air. My marriage failed for a number of reasons. I am willing to hold myself accountable for the mistakes I made, and my lack of experience and maturity. But god damn, this explanation on why she always gave me shit, even if "she loved me so much" makes a LOT of sense.
It’s not being a jerk that is attractive. It’s the being okay in your own skin and not needing her validation. Most women are in awe of men who are secure because it’s something they will never have.
Is it bad to telling a girl on the street or wherever you "just wanna fuck her"? Like bluntly, I just wanna fuck dat phat ass raw or something like that? Cos I don't like mind games and wasting time
Nicely put! I’m 38 years old and have been single for years. I hate to say it but after I started to really understand women, my desire for them really disappeared .. even casual dating and hookups aren’t worth it
Yeah wise and intelligent people have difficult with love and relationships am sigma male and empath and I don't beg people so that I will be with them no I can stay a lone instead of treating me badly I only want you if you want me and respecful its difficult but am strong
@@brianmeen2158 It's funny because it wasn't until my mid 30's that I begin to understand that it's pressure from peers and especially society to engage in so-called "relationships".
Ditto. I've understood very, very well since my late 20s. As a result I've had very, very little interest or motivation to do anything with them. When I realised what I was dealing with, what they were trying to do to me, and why, I lost interest. They only want men whose time and energy they can waste. If they come across a man who values his time and his interests above women, it's a big turnoff for them.
It just goes to show how some women can be their own worst enemy. And when they end up miserable and alone, they wonder why. Let's not forget that this is applicable to men as well.
This is 1000% accurate. Infact it was my mating strategy in my 20s. I'd purposely Dress down, be more of a "bad boy", hide all my academic achievements because I knew if she saw me as boyfriend material, it would take longer to get to the goal. This is so right, women never had me jumping through hoops when I gave a display of broke and hopeless. It's when i started making money and it was visible to see, that women became manipulative, gamers, and disagreeable. "EDIT* 19/9/23 *TIPS FOR QUICK HOOK UPS* 1) Move to cities/towns known for their nightlife. 2) Don't dress up, dress clean. 3) have one or two items that sparkle enough to catch a person's eye. I don't mean a Rolex watch. Pick something egotistical and overly cocky, like a sparkly superman hat (don't shoot the messenger.) 4) Keep in relatively good shape. Pay special attention to your shoulders. Give yourself width. 5) Don't go out with more than 3 males. If you have any female friends, take as many with you. Women are fiercely competitive, the trope of women finding men who already have a woman, more attractive, is not a myth! 6) Never go out to 'pick up' girls. Go out to have the best time of your life with your friends, the music and the venue. Women are drawn to the guy who's enjoying himself the most. Trust me on this one, it may be weird to get your head around this, but once you embrace the desire to enjoy your night regardless of what happens, is the day you are liberated and weirdly the universe just gives you everything. 7) NEVER, NEVER compete for any woman. Live in a world of abundance, not scarcity. I've slept with 6's that were more memorable than 10's. Infact non of the 10s I slept with were memorable lays. Make it a habit to ignore the most beautiful girl around. Credentials: •100+ women before I turned 28. •70+ women within a 2 year spell. •Total money spent on those females combined = $200 (mostly pre drinks with the boys) • Longest I've ever been made to wait= 10 days. *EDIT* Everything I became in my 20s in respects to women, was trained into me by women. Before then I was a hopeless romantic. Women taught me the type of caricature I had to embody for them to feel sexually attracted to me. Ergo *don't talk about yourself. Talk about how beautiful we are* *Don't be reserved, be cocky, egotistical and the centre of attention* *chase us, don't communicate anything to us outside of how much you want us here and now* *If ever in doubt, tell us we're sexy and demand that we come to you now, we need that type of assertive direction* Eventually I began to hate who I was turning into and thus I started to dislike women raised in the west. I haven't been with a woman for 2 years. I plan to return back to my home country and find a traditional woman, maybe pay her father a bride price and then ask for her hand in marriage 😄 I give you all this advice about modern women so through your own experience you realise the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Modern women are like KFC, you'll be hungry again in 30 minutes because in truth, there's no real substance. Kind regards,
They act that way because subconsciously they know you’re out of their league. A broke “bad boy” is either on their level or below them in their minds, so they’re not intimidated by that. If they feel they can’t match your lifestyle anyway, they will risk playing all kinds of games, because in their minds they were going to lose you anyway.
And one more thing: just because she’s pretty doesn’t mean she has self esteem. No matter how they look, a lot of women have low self esteem, because they have nothing going for themselves other than a nice face or nice body. A bad boy or thug also has nothing going for himself, so they are attracted to that, because he treats her how she feels about herself. If you let her know you like her or treat her well, she will lose respect for you, because in her mind she doesn’t deserve it.
Welp. I'm not a badboy, but I'm not successful either. Maybe I should pretend to be a badboy? I genuinely want to know what I should do, because being a broke sqaure doesn't seem to cut it.
@@clint.b.j.5490 bro, my honest advice as a guy with a crazy body count... It's all environmental. If you want to up your count consider moving closer to areas that have active Nightlife. Near University campuses is also a great shot.
I don’t know if you consider yourself part of the Manosphere but this is why the Manosphere is needed , there are people who can articulate the problems men face perfectly to other men who don’t understand why the feel like they’re being mistreated (You can’t complain about something you can’t explain ) …KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK 👏🏾
Men are not drawn to people who berate them, nor if they are angry with them. That is man repellent. Doing that will not bring about any change you desire.
Women who punish their men are concerned that they have married “down”. Making her look up to you might keep her on her toes. Nothing comes from nothing. Don’t look for problems without looking in the mirror first.
Yep, Gisele married down to Tom Brady Larsa Pippen married down to Scottie Pippen Steph Curry’s wife married down to him when she started acting out Emmitt Smith’s wife married down Will Smith’s wife married down Dr. Dre’s wife married down Stop taking accountability away from women. Women need to start taking accountability for their childish behaviors
mmm mmhm mmm Yes yes yes. Sometimes women date men for a long time for the mans 'potential'. They fall in love with the kindness and the consistency of the man. Meanwhile years go by, and he himself has done NOTHING to improve his life or situation. Then women go... wow, this loser will always be a loser and I don't want that for myself anymore, nothing has worked out the way I thought it would... tisk tisk. Now the woman is nearing the short window to have a child and she has no man to HELP provide for a family. Speaking from experience: I've dated down THINKING I was actually dating across. I'm in a 4 year relationship now, supporting him after he lost is entry level job and trying to help him find a new one. He mostly just sits on his phone these days watching porn and cat videos or playing video games while I work to fill his gas tank and feed him. He watches so much porn in fact, that he doesn't want sex more than once a month. I'm really emotional about it. I get angry, but hold it in to keep relationship running smoothly. He says he'll stop, but I'm not sure if that's true or not... For some unknown reason I'm so infatuated with him that I can't leave. After all these year, I crave him. It's been too long and now I have no 'baby window' time left to find another partner and start all over. Wasted it all for love. So yeah, we women might get a little 'stressed out' with these men from time to time.
Excellent video - Been married a long time and looking back my wife was far more attentive & sexual towards me before we moved in together. Sexual competition kept her in shape & wanting to please. If I could do life over again I would never marry, instead I would have 2 to 5 year relationships with women getting rid of them before they start to turn on me.
Live apart. Always leave options for yourself open. Keep your power and leverage over her. Retain your own nuclear option to leave unharmed. If she loves you she will stay. If she wants a simp plough horse she will leave you. Good riddance in that case.
This is so true. My ex gf's have always treated my like shxxt when they get mad ot emotional about anything and felt comfortable with treating me like trash but then nice to everyone else like wtf ??? Nah i told them you dont get to treat me like trash and youre not going to continue being comfortable doing it to me thinking its appropriate and you can disrespect me. Keep doing it and im leaving and i did just that say 3 times in my life. Tried working with them but they never worked on it themselves. Not worth staying around. We're not intimidated by you !!! Thats not what intimidates men . Youre just unpleasant and no one wants to be around someone who meticulously picks apart any conversation just to find a damn argument.
Yeah first to note is that there is an inherent phony part of people's psychology where they commit hypocrisy, and that part is usually the most problematic and hard to get a person to see and address. 2nd is the inherent aggression and possessiveness that goes with mating. Even sex itself is chained to raw aggression and it crosses over to general life and putting up with a mate still being constantly aggressive and irrational in daily situations. I noticed that people in general seem to view it almost like permission to act foul if you entertain the idea of getting close to them, and it's something I do not tolerate.
Man this is wild. Is this really why?! So much pain cause I got abused by a woman when I was a kid and couldn’t understand why they were always punishing me after showing interest, and even dating.
@@inextinguishablemoltenblooded Thanks Ant. Appreciate you saying that more than you could know. I’m going to put others before myself, welcome the stranger like a brother, and love a great girl. I hope you’re blessed brother.
It is okay to say women are crazy when it comes to their emotions. Mostly because they are not honest with themselves or those they love. Here a psychologist is saying it, without saying it. Women will mostly reject this insight and continue to push away the men they actually like for the bad boy they don't care about.
They put on a false self to trap you along with love bombing. Then when you are married and burdened with kids, you see the real person. Usually after 2-3 years the mask comes off.
@@pazzodi3 Yeah, PsycHack just framed it like "guy a woman cares about" versus "guy a woman don't cares about" in order to make his point. It doesn't mean that women have all of a sudden become excited about dependable guys.
@@fnordiumendures138 I really don't understand why they call him the 'bad boy' though... To me a guy that knows what he wants and says it, takes risks, wants to outcompete all other men, has a prime physique, is comfortable with his sexuality.. that's not a bad guy, that's a guy that competes more... A guy that follows the rules, listens, stays quiet, waits his turn patiently, respects everyone regardless of reason, etc... That's not a nice guy... That's a timid guy. So when one says to women, what do you want, a man that competes more than the rest or a timid guy... They will say the one that competes, every single time.
I've come to regret giving women the benefit of the doubt and have learned that I often without noticing it Naively give them more credit and believe them more Mature then they actually are.
I 100% agree, discovered this awhile back. Now am the same across board even with male friends (with little or no attachment). Require same good treatment from everyone only family members get a pass from me sometimes. How you treat A is thesame way you should treat B, it’s something I had to consciously learn. Nice pep talk Dr .
Many women have done this with me. The last who did it got a horrible reality check...right in front of one of my Facebook story viewers who just so happen to be present and saw it all. It was chilling for both women because it was clear rejection. Something most women are afraid of. This girl was a mild stalker type, highly attractive. But alienates herself from people. My coworker said this about her and doesn't even know her 🤦🏻♂️
Im currently being destroyed by a woman i used to really like. My male logic has me thinking shes trying to push me away from her but now your saying she really likes me and other women have told me the same. Now i know why this beautiful woman is single. Shes crazy 🤣
True, But you can also put her in order. You are the man. You may have grown out to be, the man. Men create order, no one or anything else does. You will have to create the order.
Well, unfortunately, most beautiful and sane women end up in a stable long-term relationship in their 20s. If you meet a beautiful 30-something, she probably has at least one pretty negative trait that pushes guys away. If you don't meet your highschool sweatheart and if you aren't a top-5% guy yourself, you usually either get to be single or you have to find a woman whose brand of crazy you're willing to tolerate.
I honestly I believe thats why women are told by their men they are a "Bitch". How can you not know when you are treating someone poorly? Especially when he tells you but you continue to destroy what you really want??? I guess that makes perfect sense if you live your life motivated by your emotions.
She said "we" with a straight face 🤡. I know she's upset at the video and harboring reverse psychology lol. Thankfully though, most women (and men) aren't even like this.
Herein lies the problem with the relationship lifeline in todays society where boundaries, taboos, and shaming have been replaced by the whims, caprice, and vicissitudes of feelings and emotions.
We already do. It's called MGTOW, and women are noticing and are complaining there are no decent men to date. You're right. We find your behaviour repulsive. We call out your behaviour, and we set our boundaries for our self-respect. Women don't like it. Enjoy your cats, ladies.
Ànother way to look at it is that women don't care much towards guys who they have friend-zoned . But get irritated towards the guys they like who show a lack of interest .
This makes so much sense! Many years ago, I encountered a lady who had just gotten out of a relationship. I didn’t trust her due to a gut feeling i could ever explain at the time, but chose to be friends. I was immature and treated her badly, until karma got the better of me. She not only gave me a taste of my own medicine, but something else I didn’t understand at the time too. Years later, even after apologising, I found out her ex at the time was a notorious playboy, and she had tried to play him initially, but it backfired. This was around the time I met her too. I thought I was crazy, but now I know for sure that she was taking out her frustration at me, and doing exactly what she described he did when he played her! The funny thing is, I haven’t spoken to her in years, but the last time we did speak, she acted like we were still close. Geez, your videos are so insightful.
@@dontme4132 on the contrary, I did mention karma got the better of me. The point is, before I even met her, she was already in a vulnerable state. I didn’t know that, but her actions also showed otherwise too. I realize now she wasn’t honest about herself because she didn’t want her past relationship scars to affect the present. Unfortunately that didn’t work out, as her behavior, even before I treated her badly, was difficult to deal with. I admit that I was a bully, and it’s because of that I could tell these things. Bullies are sad people, but also quite perceptive; they see things that the victims don’t want others to know. My behavior may have added on to her trauma, yes, but I never asked her to attempt the things she did before she met me. Apart from my own dish of bad treatment, she has always been this way. We all have our own scars, and secrets I suppose. We all have to seek ways to dealing with it, without it affecting others around us.
@@charliekarageorges5081 I am making the point I think I’m making. The women of the 40s and 50s treated men more respectfully. This is an indisputable fact. However, take a look at the average 1940s/50s man himself. He’s, to put it simply, far more respectable of a man than those who live in our current times. A large amount of men aged 18-35 were literal war veterans. The average modern man is simply not as respectable. His testosterone levels have decreased 50% since 2004, and many are simply more effeminate than in the past. Vaping, eating junk food, and playing video games aren’t necessarily attractive traits. If you put one of these men in front of a woman from the 40s, you’ve gotta be delusional if you think she’ll respect him the same amount.
I would never date a women who punishes me.. however if she asks to talk to me like a mature adult I would gladly listen and see what we can do to make changes for the relationship to become more fulfilling on both ends.
I don't think women ever become adults. Maybe after certain experirnces in life such as child-bearing and struggle to keep the family united. Still, most women are and will forever be girls and childish, especially with men they know are of more value than they are.
I think this definitely applies in the early stages, but once you guys have made a commitment to each other, then I think it's fair to let the other person know what good and bad behaviour is to you. However, indirect passive-aggressive reactions rarely work out well and usually end up with some sort of confusion, miscommunication and bad feelings.
'then I think it's fair to let the other person know what good and bad behaviour is to you' - yes, but good luck trying to find a woman who'll communicate with you calmly, fairly and openly, and wont fly into rage, tears, or break up with you because you DARED stand up to her. IME once you calmly make a boundary known and enforce it, that's when the nuclear bomb drops. If not that, then the passive-aggressive reactions begin, and the undercurrent of nastiness that's the norm in most LTRs or marriages that I've seen.
@@EE12CSVT if that's the case then you follow through on your boundary - if you've clearly marked your boundary and she doesn't respect it, then it's time to go (if you have kids or similar commitments that makes it more complex and needs more thought). You need to be with someone who respects your boundaries. I've forgotten the content of the video - isn't this about women not communicating what is acceptable to them? That's what I would gather from the title. In which case I may have been referring to women letting men know what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, instead of being passive-aggressive and punishing men. I honestly don't remember what the video said lol
Yea I’m 19 and me and my ex girlfriend broke up last month we got into an argument and had a fight both disrespecting each other and I made her cry but she knew I care about her but she still chose to leave so in my head how many other options of men your going to meet who’s genuinely going to care about you not saying she can’t find better in the future but the likelihood and percentage is low because dating suck right now I don’t understand what’s the point of wanting a relationship but can’t handle adversity and run away from problems we have within the relationship and just make it work with each other we graduated together and I’m kinda disappointed because I wanted to last with my high-school sweetheart
@@Duddamac she will easily find someone who likes her, probably not easy to find a decent person tho. Also if you care, maybe don’t disrespect them. That goes both ways. You shouldnt expect the people who care about to accept disrespect simply because you care about them or say you do.
@@Blub2cool I never said I expect it but long term relationships are going to have its ups and downs nothing is perfect that’s my point Im trying to make no 25 year relationship is going to be perfect and that what most women want but leaves when difficult times hit and go to the next person.
@@Duddamac as a women, i dont think that generalization is true and its about finding people who think similar to you. Because I’ve experienced men who seem to think supposed to be all sunshine’s and rainbows, but maybe that is true for them. But you also shouldnt expect people you care about to accept disrespect.
@@Blub2cool I already knew you was a woman because ur already shown bias towards my ex and automatically picked her side all I’m saying is life is going to come with challenges n it’s up to u to fight through it and make it work nothing is going to be perfect in life wats the point of wanting a boyfriend or get married of you don’t want to just make it work and stick by us men side if uk that man cares about u
Very insightful. I always know when one of your videos hits home because I tend to squirm a little; I plan to be on high alert of my behavior in this regard going forward.
I think, instead of trying to change people, we should accept this as normal and natural. If I'm dating a woman and she becomes obsessive... I see that as a green flag. It means she actually cares about me. It means she wants me. If I tell her "Hey, because you said we're just friends, I'm gonna take some random woman I met on hinge on a date on Valentine's day." If she gets jealous... it means she actually wanted me to take her. It doesn't matter if she says "we're just friends", if we're dating on Valentine's day... I might as well be her boyfriend. Actions define your relationship status way more than words do.
That might be a viable way of going about things, but my fiance doesn't do this. We don't get jealous, but our rule is that we always tell each other when we have had some flirting thrown our way or find someone else attractive. We both hate controlling behavior. I feel like i didn't have to change her at all. I think this isn't for men to hear. This is a tool for women to help themselves which they can take or leave.
Quite true. My wife was lamenting early appointment the next morning. On and on. Finally, I told her that I didn’t care. She to me , that is rude. I told her I was being honest. The appointment would benefit her. I know, I am just supposed to listen to her vent, but sometimes, it gets the best of me.
If they start the random hot/cold thing (passive aggressive manipulation) and repeat the behavior they will fail my vetting stage pretty quick. It's a heads up they will act like a 5yo void of empathy when things don't go their way. Hot/cold can also be seen as a s-test "will you put up with my crazy/neurosis" Answer = No.
@@rohithreddy75 Yep, narcissistic personality disorder. When you know the traits as listed in the DSM-V, you then see them displayed in modern women for the world to see. Some are lower on the spectrum than others, but they're generally now much higher on it than they ever used to be.
Yes, this makes a lot of sense. Been through it many times. I let 2 of my girlfriends in the past go because they drove me bonkers with this stuff. I really tried to make it work. It was sad. They became like "sandpaper" is the only was I could describe it. Eventually I started to pull away because being around them was painful. Then eventually the love just died.
The ones I find, usually ghost me, and I'm the one ending up frustrated. This problem goes both ways, but I feel it's worse for men, because girls usually have many guys orbiting them.
I have seen and experienced so much of this. It is so common for women to hone in on their bf with laser focus and be almost psychotically critical of him, often in absurdly hypocritical ways. That has actually been how I've addressed the issue with women, by turning it around and using their own judgements on them and asking them how they feel about their own thoughts applied to them. They usually short circuit and either throw a tantrum or realize they're acting insane. The former is much more common, however.
I figured this out in 3rd grade. As I hit 30 I finally learned to stay away. I prefer the quiet, peaceful and humble life to the constant list of needs and difficulties it takes to attract and provide for one.
Odds are most on the viewers of this video will be cerebral men. The advice here is for people who are strategically averse to personal accountability. Great video. Sending this to someone that needs it will likely create a new bone of contention
Last gf wanted to get married when we were in the early days. I had some serious misgivings. Early on problems began but were manageable. In the end I just wanted to be friends because I valued her in some ways. She wasn't a total train wreck. She couldn't even handle being friends. Most of the time I don't even know what the argument was about. She just wanted to own me lock stock and barrel. No matter how hard I tried to avoid fighting with her, it was impossible. Practically put me off of women all together. I'm just starting back after more than 2 years alone.
Love the insight in this, you hit the nail on the head! In some instances, I think this behavior is to psychologically control a man and make him undesirable in the eyes of other women (so she can ultimately be in possession of him), but maybe I'm just paranoid!
You made an interesting point here, very interesting indeed. I'd just like to add that the same applies to men as well, not only gay/bisexual men, but also straight men. I felt like I did the same many times. Perhaps it's in human nature to create bigger expectations with those we feel more invested in.
The problem here is that men and women portray fake versions of themselves initially on a date. Men and women love bomb each other. However women start to wonder why the guy is falling off once he has got some physical commitment. It is not that the guy is falling off, it is that she is really seeing the guy for who he really is and she is angry she got tricked. Guys, also see a similar thing once the women has got the ring, house and kids, because at this point she no longer needs to put on a front as she now has everything she wants, has all the power and leverage in the relationship/marriage/divorce court.
That is certainly a common problem. I made an episode on the topic called "Why most relationships don't last". You can check it out, if you haven't done so already.
Also, taking things slow with the guy you really like while not taking things slow with the guy you don't like is pretty much guaranteed to be taken as a relationship-ending insult if the guy you really like finds out. And he probably will sooner or later.
Women take things slowly with the guy they really like because society constantly tells them that if they don't he will just use them for sex and not take them seriously. If you approach this issue from a woman's perspective you'll see it actually makes a lot of sense. Speaking from personal experience, a lot of men really do see things this way. I had a friend who would "give it up" to guys right away, even if she wanted to be in a relationship. She's still single to this day. Whenever I gave in right away I would always lose in some way. So if I meet someone who is a stranger to me (not a proven friend), really like him, begin dating him, the best course of action (to me) is to take it slowly. Then again, I don't do random hookups and one night stands, and I don't do "casual."
@@darlyo.4090 Not doing random hookups and one night stands means the vast majority of guys aren't going to get offended by having to wait. It's when other guys didn't have to wait that it becomes a different beast. Especially if it was a whole bunch of guys who didn't have to wait. That sort of information can end marriages when it gets out. Though it's really only the end of the relationship if the guy was serious. He might just switch gears and go casual. Hopefully he'd tell her about the change of plans, but not always.
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This one is for the ladies. In this episode, I'll explain how you may be inadvertently messing up with the men you actually want to keep in your life. Most women punish the men they like, and this behavior can drive away the ones you want to stay. Absenting an explicit commitment to the contrary, if a certain behavior wouldn't bother you coming from a man you could take or leave, you shouldn't let it bother you coming from a man you really like. This doesn't mean putting up with bad behavior. It means that the definition of bad behavior doesn't change depending on your feelings.
Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
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Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Your insertions of slang in some of your videos are hilarious and had me wanting to hear more lol "just keeping it a buck" and "my dude" for example are classic
Sick of hearing about girls honestly
Wrong on murder. Quite obviously people celebrate some murders. For example, nobody among the elites liked President Kennedy -- he was doomed
It’s because it’s a frame test. She wants you to put her in her place respectfully so she knows you’re the man
Hey do a video next on how us giving women too many rights has allowed society to start spiraling out of control
Nutshell version: Failure to regulate your emotions will drive people you want in your life out of your life.
Something women especially need to know. It's also that articulating those emotions are really important to prevent people from doing what you do not want them to do.
@@necrosteel5013 women have had a pass on regulating themselves for generations. Men are expected not to have any emotions.
@@dr.redphdleasurestudies.5399 By who specifically? Who said men need to show more emotions without emphasising or giving good examples?
That is the real incompetence of the situation, how stupid do you have to be to just say suppress your emotions without pointing out exactly why and how to do so?
Now is it any surprise when new incompetent morons tell men to "show emotions" Without specifying what emotions to show and how to articulate it.
@@necrosteel5013 I think you miss understand me. I am saying the ideal men are held to (rewarded for) is being a well disciplined sociopath.
@@dr.redphdleasurestudies.5399 In a way yeah that is true. Considering psychopaths are actually quite successful in carriers. It's a rather disturbing trend i have noticed. It's likely because such people are strongly driven by shallow things and many people are being taught to value things like "game" And "success". It has become soo bad that on one side of the political isle you have absolutely Degeneracy and on the other you have suit wearing bots or muscle man brutes being the core template each side resonates too. It's absolutely nuts.
I dated a woman one time. I confronted her about her bad behaviour towards me. She said “you always treat the person you love the most, the worst”. The relationship ended shortly thereafter.
She belongs to the streets wtf!
Well, sick people do.
Wtf
I got the phrase "It's who I am and I'm comfortable around you to reveal myself". That's cool and all- but I asked "why am I the only person in your world you treat this way?". There's no excuse for being mean and saying truly hurtful things.
I stopped talking to my ex girlfriend for a week when I got tired of her shit. It took a whole fucking week, and then she showed up at my place and had the most loving look in her eyes, gave me the most passionate kiss I've ever received, and I was fucking PISSED.
I had to IGNORE her to get the attention I wanted and the only time she would show love is if I neglected her like her father did.
Another brilliant point. The more a wife punishes us, the less we are attracted to her, until she has stomped out the flames of love with her own two feet. Then she wonders what happened.
"absenting some explicit expectation to the contrary" ... If you're married, you shouldn't play games with your beloved's heart. You're not in the 'barely know her phase" after all.
yup. Women destroy relationships.
@@a.d.b535
Facts, some are just so disrespectful, as if there's not supposed to be a bond here.
@@jackdeniston59
Ain't that the truth, all for some cheap pleasures.
They play cat and mouse when you fall for the pu$$y trap. Freud stated they have an envy. It seems to come out as contempt.
We don't need mind games and drama. If you want peace of mind, there's nothing wrong with being single.
Exactly. Feminism has killed relationships.
I not want to agree. but I suggest watching yahhanna 82.
Happily single vs miserably alone
Choose your destiny
I leave the rest to you ...
Agree 👍 peace is more important than anything else in life
Being single is not what we're made for. It goes against biology and humanity. You can not be a whole person if the only thing you care about is yourself.
My ex fiance, during a disagreement, returned the ring I gave her.
I took it as it looked, engagement over, thus relationship over, no big deal.
So I cancelled the wedding plans and bookings.
After a month of her trying to reconcile for God knows what reason, she says “I gave you the ring back to teach you a lesson.” I go “you cannot use a sacred bond as a manipulation tool. This is never happening again, goodbye.”
I guess she learned her lesson. Still a spinster. Vindication is good 😇
What was the disagreement about?
Your lucky you dodged that one man
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 he didn't want to take out the garbage
Wait ... if she learned her lesson, how is she a spinster ( whatever that means? )
@@paulmares9815 a spinster is a woman who never married. Her lesson was not to "teach lessons" by treating an engagement ring as a bargaining tool to get her way.
I tried to explain this concept to my wife without success. She asked me why I don't tell her things that involve bad news, and I explained because she never reacts well. Therefore, while I don't have a problem with communicating the news what she is teaching me unknowingly is that she doesn't really want to hear it and punishing me for delivering it doesn't incentivize me to do so.
It's the same thing when women complain about men never showing emotion. When we do show emotions, they usually either A: friend zone us immediately, B: withhold sex from us if in s relationship or C: Break up with us.
Why on earth should we then be emotional? It doesn't get us anywhere
So just piss her off
@Thefly142 It's a test, that's why. A lot of what women demand isn't because they genuinely want that thing from you. It's them testing to see how far they can push you around or push your buttons. Just do what you want, think is right and always maintain emotional control. If you made plans to go fishing with the friends and she asks that you not to. Go fish with your friends. She'll respect you more for standing up to her and not being submissive. If she is sick and you cancel some plans to stay with her and she suggests you instead leave her for your original plans, stay and take care of her. You're being a leader, and you show you care for her. If she tries to irritate and bother you. Keep your cool. If you get angry and mad it shows you are emotionally weak and unsafe. She's probing you for weakness and as soon as you show it she will strike harder.
You have to be an unmoveable rock against the waves and even storms she will send your way. It's a test of your strength and fortitude. So when a woman complains you aren't more emotional it's a freaking test.
@@Thefly142 of course, it’s because women despise your sexual neediness. It’s explainable biologically, but personally pathetic.
@@joygibbons5482 That isn't sexual neediness. It's ANY form of neediness.
Ideally they want someone who exhibits zero needs (of her) but provides endlessly for her wants and needs without question or qualification. Even to the extent that they ANTICIPATE her needs and she doesn't even have to point them out. "I shouldn't have to tell you!" etc etc.
Women fight tooth and nail to avoid any performative burden on their part. Which going back to your point is explainable biologically (virtually everything is "explainable biologically") but ultimately results in utterly pathetic asymmetry in a relationship.
Women keep women single is a true quote and another thing I learned recently is never try to make a woman happy it is an impossible task
Lmao, sounds like your speaking from experience
@@GnosticCushite ya bad experience
@@smartguy360 damnit :( so sad. Wih you love
@@particleconfig.8935 better to learn early than later, I got lucky
you can,t make a woman happy whatever you do or accomplish for them, you just highten the standards untill you can,t meet them anymore. most men end up in this situation, where they did so much for their woman, that they didn,t meet her standards anymore.
like if you buy her flowers once, she expects it in certain timeframes in the future, if you pay her rent once, she,ll make it a standard... whatever you do you always screw yourself.
'Emotions don't change the definition of bad behaviour' 👍
Bad behavior includes inaction when action is called for
It does! If you don't care about the person, you don't care about his behavior as well.
You are seeing potential partner in the man you like. If his behaviour disappoints you, you feel pain. It's not about punishing, just reacting from a place of pain.
I can hear all the woman already: "I'm not going to apologize for what I'm feeling" 😁
They are too predictable, aren't they?
@@dariusposton5714 Yet we're so willfully blind
then tell them fuck your emotions
My mother used to continually play the following trick on my stepfather:
her: I feel that you did thing x to upset me.
him: that isn't right; you might feel that way but that isn't why I did thing x.
her: but that's how I feel.
him: well you shouldn't feel that way, because that isn't why I did thing x.
her: [now shouting] DON'T TELL ME HOW I SHOULD FEEL!
What a dirty trick.
It’s time to stop, normalizing, emotional abuse, coercion, isolation, and intimidation towards men in relationships. This is the definition of Domestic Abuse.
To turn the tables we gotta get rid of the simps and gatekeep the tyrones
And become Chad
None of you have anytjing better to do than improve
Seeking diversion ALWAYS isnpathetic
You can hit the gym and still play vidya gaymes
I am single because of what you said...but in today's society men can't say they are being abused.
We call that witchcraft
@@theeternalslayer if witchcraft, you must add sexual and reproductive coercion, social and physical poisoning, general deception, and conjuring of malicious spirits for the purpose of harming others. I agree. That’s witchcraft.
Well Johnny Depp is abused.
The more a woman treats a man badly, the more the attraction he has towards her keeps shedding away, until it's done and that's when a man leaves, and when a man says he is leaving he is leaving. When a man is no longer attracted to you it is done ladies, you can never turn back the hands of time. When you tell women these things they don't want to listen. This has happened in my life, I will be there looking at her like she is a stranger, not even a positive emotion towards her, then I will tell her it's over.
better strategy is not telling her anything and just leaving right away. this is called ghosting and this drives them crazy. she will crave for a closure inside.
And when as a last resort they cry and plead and say they'll never do it again, I say it's too late.. They've already shown me what they are. Marrying someone like that because you think a marriage ceremony it a magic spell that will make both of you better people is such a common mistake, probably the most common one for first marriages.
@@tarkgundogdu8940 That only works on girls with women's bodies, emotionally mature women don't care about a boy with a man's body ghosting her because a real man will resolve it in a certain manner not play
Women don't just treat a man bad for no reason stop the cap bruh
I would further add that: Women do not punish the high value men that they're giving their best sex to because they can't afford to piss him off... and they later take out that anger on others.
Its nice to hear a woman admit this.
Hypergamy
Welcome to the hell of modern dating😝😝😝 good men get treated like sh** and good women run after the wrong men though dating apps
I'm so glad someone else sees this. I'm dating a woman who is emotionally and intimately distant towards me because her previous relationship fucked her good for a month but then ghosted her. Now she's basically taking it out on me even though I didn't do anything wrong. I tried but I'm going to break it off. It's not fair to me that she's treating me as though I'm the one who used and dumped her.
@@Gnomesmusher if you cant get through to her, I would run too. It is not your job to fix her
In a relationship, the person that cares the least, has the most power. That's the dating game in 2023.
It's always been the game.
It has always been like that.
What a trashy game.
Sadly
I punish women for bad behaviour like this. If a girl I'm dating tried to 'punish' me once I'll tell her it's the last time she does that. If she does it again she's gone. If I want drama I'll go see a movie.
I would rather put her on her place and show her place with nasty says
It's good you give a warning.
Fr bro I dated a woman who couldn’t communicate her emotions and it’s like having a daughter, I’ll never teach a girl common sense again
Now add to that a marriage and a couple of kids. Let's see how you will punish her back.
Be careful going to war with a woman. Hide the knives. js
It never ceases to amaze me how women get together and complain about how men treat them, then when they are with their man, will regularly treat him with incredibly cruel behavior. Words and actions. I'm curious what women get out of being cruel to the man they are with. Then leave him and run to find a man who will be cruel to her and cling to him with everything she has. Like a game. Either be cruel to me, or I will be cruel to you. No wonder I live with my dog.
It's because their genuine interest is in the "cruel" guy. Many women perceive a solid, dependable relationship as predictable and boring, and even feel a sense of weakness about a guy who does that much for her. So she quickly feels discontent and unfulfilled with said relationship......leading to acting out against the guy that, on a deeper level, she never really wanted much anyway
100 RIGHT ,,,, AND TO IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX GO HOOKER HOUSE GET HAPPY ENDING ,, PROBLEM SOLVE ,
And to add to that: (and this is just my opinion, I think this also helps take away some of the anger) I don’t think the majority of them are aware, or conscious of what they’re doing over a span of time. They are typically led by their emotions; which, we all know, are as consistent as the weather.
They do what feels good/right/justifiable in the moment, and many will avoid any retrospective or introspective considerations that could make them FEEL like a bad person, woman, mother, girlfriend, or wife. So they continue repeating the same patterns with each new partner.
There’s also “loving/romantic” mistakes us guys make: like tolerating bad behavior, never saying no (and actually meaning it), not wanting to give up on someone who (at one time) made us feel loved, not establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries. All of which tells a woman, instinctively, ‘this may not be a man I can trust fully, if he’ll let me (a girl half his size) be disrespectful and run all over him, how could he compete against other men, could he really protect me against the ruthless ppl out there, etc?’ Again, I don’t think they’re conscious of it, but their instincts can be right; even if the way they express them, in words and actions, may be wrong or cruel.
Most of us were programmed by movies and television in the same manner women were, and it takes A LOT of open and honest self reflection, desire, discipline, dedication, courage, and consistency to actually make real behavioral changes since we’ve been building those habits up since childhood, and they served us well in childhood.
But there comes a time where those same habits that rewarded us when we were young can be a hindrance, or downright counterproductive.
Well, it's inappropriate to move in with your dog. 😂
Simply put those are women with bad character. Nothing more, nothing less.
In the end, I believe there are a lot of women who suffer from anxiety and self hate, so they will always self sabotage
They tend to push away who they love because of their insecurities. Not always the “bad boy” is so bad, they just prefer to stick with the safest option. That’s why they will never really love “that good guy”, not because it’s just “boring”, but because they betrayed themselves in the first place.
This
I've had a hunch for a very long time that when they realise they're dealing with a decent guy, they push him away or reject him because they realise that they're nowhere near good enough for him. They loathe themselves.
@@EE12CSVT yup they have the imposter syndrom. They cant feel good and are always in fear of loosing the good guy. They dont have that issue with the looser.
@@EE12CSVT I never thought of it like that, but that does fit in like a puzzle piece to my own experiences with women. As a good guy that gets to know them, treats them well, but not to the point of "nice guy", that makes a lot of sense with how they've reacted to me.
@@VoiceOvaGuy 'As a good guy that gets to know them, treats them well, but not to the point of "nice guy", '
Ditto. I naiively believe in a civilised society, and a civilised society depends on people treating each other with respect, fairness, politeness, manners, and integrity. In other words 'good' guys and women. That's the theory. If everyone did that, society would be harmonious, productive, safer, and much more enlightened. But it isn't. The only way to proceed or make capital in life is to act the opposite. And women only seem to respect the opposite.
Morale of the story: If you stay single you will be more happy, have less headaches, have more money, have more spare time and won't get stress.
But you don't get to be loved by a woman which is an outstanding experience to live and you'd like to make love, cause just hired or casual sex or watching porn it's emotionally tiresome. We have the need to be loved.
@@e.p3509 No, we don't, u have
@@e.p3509 you're feminine if you feel that way no real man needs to be loved
@@drno1257 I disagree, a real man addresses his natural desire to be loved by a woman and he loves, honours, respects, cares for, provides to and protects his beloved one. A man who is mature enough knows whom to choose and whom stay away from, namely, those unstable type of woman.
Right, but you don't get to form a beautiful family and raise exceptional kids.
Exactly. Drama, manipulations and childish behaviour is what drove me away. Single, drama free life is the best.
💯
100% bro
I experienced that my ex colleague.
that's a good argument but for how long. How long can one stay single in the name of "peace of mind", the bitter medicine is one eventually will or have to find someone to get involved with. That's just the nature of reality we live in.
It is always so refreshing when you encounter a woman who doesn’t act crazy and doesn’t drink too much and has intelligent things to say. Just keep looking for those girls. Forget about the ones that just want to party and bounce from guy to guy. They are easy to spot if you just open your eyes a bit and don’t think with the wrong head.
Check in a couple weeks later to see if she’s the same refreshing person.
Once her emotions are fully engaged, you’ll probably need to reassess things.
Are you 21? This is more for people over 30
You just triggered my ex trauma. The highly intelligent OCD fitness nut who didn't drink much. Also a covert narc who thinks she can do better while being the one who sabotaged the relationship...
A big mistake that men make is considering women to be nurturing. That's fine if you are a baby but between adult men and women the man is the nurturer and has the preconditions that go with that. Men expect that they will have to make more of an an effort because they are not natural nurturers when the opposite is true . A man's nurturing instinct toward females makes him particularly vulnerable. A man will often forgo his own safety to ensure the safety of a woman . This rarely happens the other way around. Women will do things for men but this is mostly transactional. That's why you wont hear much about women sacrificing their lives for men because once you are dead there is no payback. Such sacrifice requires a nurturing attitude of the highest degree. There are always exceptions to the rule of course but you should never make the mistake that a woman will feel the same way toward you as you do toward her.
Indeed
if you love someone who doesn't love you you should learn self respect and leave. If the case is more complicated then help her learn to love or whatever but don't be stupid about it. Women have protected me and I've seen them protect other men. I don't suppose most women are good but neither are most men. When you start talking about how "women" behave and you somehow assume men love women more those are red flags for me.
🙏 Rightly said Sir! Although we must be careful of not committing sexism in our honest opinions , but in a successful union , Men are the ones who Practiced more of the Respect , Love & Royalty in a relationship , based on real life experiencess as compared to romanticised novels or movies! Thank You So Much Sir for the honest illumination to guide the inexperienced & younger generation! In real life , many women have to deal with their own 101 bodily & mental problems! ... 🌷🌿🌍💜🕊
Good analysis
I agree with this a lot because I can see it in my own parents
A woman finds a man attractive and she spends all her efforts to turn him into something she is not attracted to. They work a relationship to it's end.
This perfectly explains the complete freak out the girl I was dating had when I told her I already had plans for New Years. Her reaction (after just a month of dating and me having prior plans to see my sick friend) destroyed any attraction I had towards her
Yup girls often just cannot see past their own little world
Just fugitt about her
As a woman, that behavior is not acceptable. One month is not a new years invite.
Started dating month prior to New Years? She was Date Dating...Happens around class reunion time, her best friends weddings, New Years, and on and on. She will be very clever about the date will unfold in your dating adventures. If you would 'show' well to the other guests you will be lavished with the FULL GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE. Either the relationship may continue after the big event OR she is done with you and she will discard you...
True Facts!
Not a normal reaction, she sounds like a nutter
It is extremely illogical and counterproductive to punish the one that they like. They are asking for exactly what they don't want by their own behavior.
This is the "required mind reading" women put men through.
Yep, because for a sex that supposedly has better emotional intelligence, they can't communicate to save their lives. It's why men give up with them. Be straight, be honest, say what you mean, dont hide things, don't play games, don't wrap up what you really mean inside something else to the contrary.
@@EE12CSVT facts!
@@EE12CSVT yep. That’s bc their indirect creatures. Protecting themselves from physical harm by use of indirection and misdirection. I work with all women as I’m a male teacher and everything they say and do has a hidden meaning.
@@jadar9356 correct. My dad explained it to me kinda like that. It's kinda like our genitals, males are direct like a straight line which is like the shape of our penis, women are indirect like a circle which would represent the vagina. I know it's kind of a weird way to describe it but it's interesting how genitals represent the nature of men and women's behavior. With that being said never listen to a woman's words and only pay attention to her actions
Just had this happen, definitely not sharing a girl or being treated like dirt and having her lash out her emotions at me.
@@johnhammink2716 She was really into me, we got along fairly well. She was a insecure 6, overweight and a single mom, successful career. Could've been a sugar mama. I wanted to wait to have sex and get to know her because women these days are nuts. She ended up showing her true colors, being all about her "sexual independence" and I definitely wasn't having it. She got with a Tyrone who treated her like dirt. Then, she will blame men for her problems and perpetuate the cycle. They gotta suffer and learn.
So to summarise,
1. Expect from them what you would from a stranger.
2. Regulate your unspoken emotions on your own.
3. Hold your ground on explicitly stated expectations.
Men spend their day battling the world and all they want from their home life is peace.
Amen brother ! You get it ! We don't have time for no reindeer games BS .
This is why I teach my little girls to treat people politely and with respect, especially when you would like something from them.
If you’re unkind and unfair to someone they aren’t going to want to please you, and will eventually go out of their way to make sure they don’t.
The idea that me not raising them the right way could lead to them ultimately losing someone that loves them as much as I do is heartbreaking.
This goes for more than just love, but friends too.
then they just learn to be manipulative, only treat people politely and with respect when they want something.
but we're all kind of that way
Thank you. So glad I realized this a while back. "The need to control" is juvenile and unhealthy. This is definitely worth learning and practicing.
Good for you ! You will have a great life . Most men are really simple to handle , give respect and get loads back .
To be fair, I've realized that I - and many other men - were controlling in our youths, not so much afterwards. The difference is that, as a generalization, women tend to be harsh and cruel mostly to people around them, while for men it's mostly outside their inner circles. There are nuances and degrees but overall.
Stay outta relationships and you don’t have to deal with this psychotic behavior.
not all women are psychotic. Just the ones you date ahaha (i'm sorry I was just kidding x'D )
This is really sad that the healthy people who want to make it work peacefully never find each other until they are jaded. And they likely self sabotage.
Bruh... it's a fundamental human need to be loved and to love, this is just dead end advice
@@IlGonfaloniere it's the only way...
@@d.minaru7707 I'm from central-east Europe, so who am I to judge right
Brilliant points.
I tried 4yrs to save a single mother and give her a comfortable high value life..but she wore me out with her indifferent attitude lack of appreciation..or reciprocated communication..she took me for granted..and walked away ..back to her tinder and IG..shallow existence.
She wrecked the best man she will ever have who was willing to buy into that situation they self sabotage ..they know when they just dont deserve it...
heavy shite man! Build yourself, life, meditate and nurture your precious heart, also with being with nearest and dearest fam and friends.
And there is something in you that got attracted to her. It may very well be a subtle co-depencence in you that you need to treat in therapy
Man did she do you a huge favor. Look out for yourself next time or you might not be so lucky.
The fact that you were trying to " save" her is a RED FLAG. you gotta ask yourself why do you feel the need to be a Captain "Save- A- Heaux".
Lesson #1 never save a single mom. 80% of single moms ditched a decent guy but will make it out that he was “toxic”. Those single moms will do the same to you and claim you were “toxic” before moving on to their next target.
Ultimately the problem relates to the fact that treating a man as a lover is better for him than treating him as a husband. A lover gets all pleasures for free while a husband has to pay a gargantuan amount of effort for them. Therefore if a woman did have a lover at least once, then all potential long-term partners are in a position of "why are you trying to treat me worse than your lovers? You gave your sexuality to them for free, but you're putting requirements on me? And I'm supposed to be your special one"?
That's why God created marriage and convict sex outside marriage. It's supposed to be given to your "SPECIAL ONE ONLY".
@@g.cold94 *humans created, not god. Eastern societies like India not following Abrahamic religions historically do this too, and by any statistic, much better than the west.
@@g.cold94 Oh he created marriage? Hahaha. Then explain how monogamy existed before religious institutions?
Ah so he created marriage and didnt give us the guide to it yet.
Ah yes makes so much logical sense.
Religious dogma is as irrational as feminism.
Traditional culture and values existed before your religious institutions and will exist long after your fairytales die out.
Damn. I used to think like this but I promise you that its more of you not necessarily feeling a deep connection with your partner. When you find your person, you wont even have these type of thoughts.
you got that right. female dual mating strategy. lovers vs. providers. rockstars vs. accountants. you either "use her" or she "uses you".
and you know what the best/worst part is? she'll never resent the lover that dumped her. she'll keep the fond memories and lament that she was not good enough to retain him while simultaneously punishing her faithful husband. but who cares anyway, he's just a workhorse and he should be glad that she's even in his life.
This message is pure gold. I’ve often told women that their emotions are hindering their relationships with men.
But what do you think women need from relationship? Em-o-ti-ons. No emotions, no emotional safety and support means unhappy and empty relationship. Some people like it that way but it's not universal.
I agree I also think it applies to men with women also. Ive noticed in my own life the women's behaviors that annoyed me most was the women I liked, yet if it was some woman I had no feelings for, I not only didn't care if she ever texted, I didn't care if she was mad at me for not texting her. I didn't realize until later I was being hypocritical and applying double standards. Classic example, if some woman I didn't like posted some provocative picture I might roll my eyes and think she was sad. Yet if it was a woman I liked, even if I didn't say anything I'd feel jealousy and also a much more judgmental attitude towards her. And you're right, it will push that person away. Ive noticed this aspect with even friends versus strangers. If for example some random person you barely know buys a new house or car you might think cool, looks great, etc. However often with friends we become judgemental. " how'd you afford it" " you should save for a rainy day" " looks like too much house for me to clean" " I never was into shiny things " its been said but we do hurt the ones we love. It's a difficult but necessary step to overcome on the path to self awareness because nobody wants to be the villain in their own stories.
I do the same thing and it's why I wind up with women that I'm lukewarm about.
@@jockamofeno7632 I understand. And ironically those are usually the most successful relationships in my opinion. When a man is in a relationship with a woman he's infatuated with it usually turns the woman off and she sees herself as above him. When a womans in a relationship with a man shes infatuated with it keeps her in a submissive role and more feminine. In either case someone won't feel as passionate but when it's the woman that isn't passionate about the man it rarely will last.
@@modickens1272 It's true. Men also screw up when their attraction levels are high, but they often do it in a different way than women do. In my experience, it's more akin to what you described in your response to Jackamo than in your original post. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episodes on the balance of attraction ("The balance of attraction," "Being loved by the one you're with," "Being with the one you love") for more on this concept.
Well it makes sense that you would be more invested in the behaviour of people you are invested in than people you aren't. If other people want to do stupid or distasteful things then it doesn't bother you because you are not in any way responsible for them, but if you ARE responsible for or associated with them then their behaviour and conduct can reflect back on you, positively or negatively. E.g. if your girlfriend is posting nudes online that should upset you, but if a random woman is doing that, you wouldn't care at all because it has nothing to do with you.
My husband is very critical of me and often says I am not as good of a cook as his mother. I've asked my MIL to come over and teach me how to make some dishes that he likes and now he criticizes me when I don't have the time to complete certain tasks, which doesn't happen all the time. I work (4) 14 hour nursing shifts weekly, but I just can't be Martha Stewart.
I could be wrong but what I understood from your video is that women seek to get an emotional response from men and the men who are willing to put up with this behavior(nice guy?), will continue to be on the receiving end of it, while the guys who don't want to put up with that(a-holes?)walk away at the first sign of unwanted drama.
Yes, but it's the guys who feed the emotional response back to the women are the ones they want. The guys who don't want the drama or don't respond to their emotions are the guys the women don't want. He has no use for her.
Think it this way, a woman insults you for the car you drive. Now few things are possible as your response
1. You ignore it, in this you are secure male.
2. You get pissed and become angry. She will not like you
3. You secretly start feeling bad and tomorrow show up in new car. This is what she wants.
She wants to emotionally rule you but doesn't want anger, hate, from you.
So jealous/insecure men who are always wanting to prove themselves without lashing out, are what women go after.
These men seem secure on surface but deep now they aren't.
@@DraculaMachine-zs9bu Although after a while they start to resent the insecure guy because of how weak they are and instead run into the arms of what they perceive as a strong man.
Another way of putting it is ... women despise super nice guys who are emotionally weak and who worship them .. women adore guys who are confident, a bit dangerous , and who never ever put up with women's BS bitching & nagging and let women know they could leave them for another higher quality women in a millisecond. Then, you are a priceless, high value man in her eyes.
Correct🙏🏻😇 putting her at her place, she will respect you for it
That works for a while then she wishes she took the nice guy
@@CleanSweetHome or she leaves you. I put my ex narc in her place and that was too much for her. I was too dangerous uncovering her vulnerability... inside narcissist are really weak and empty. I feel really sorry for her.
@@CleanSweetHome No they won't. They'll call you a misogynist for being controlling.
This describes exactly how I decided to walk away from my mom for a few years. Her controlling behavior made it such a chore to be around her that I just quit trying, and since I lived a few states away, it was very easy to cut her out of my life.
Its hard for them to understand that the way they fEEl about their actions aren't the only opinion that matters. Its self centeredness. This person has chosen to stop maturing and growing as a person
You have to understand that most women never grow out of being teenage girls
That was a reoccurring thing in my last relationship. My ex always justified her actions because of what she FEELS she should do. In her mind she thinks that if she FEELS it then it must be right because she doesn't want to invalidate her feelings. With that level of selfishness she completely ignored how any of her actions had an effect on me. She wanted me to care about her feelings at the expense of mine. A lot of women, scratch that. Girls are so self centered they put their feelings as a number one priority no matter who they hurt in the process
Women remember this when your friends ask for advice your bad advice to make them feel good in the moment causes worse harm than be kind a gentle but honest one!!
Even more important is that many people were never taught the right way. They only remember instinctively when they're a kid, they could get what they want by yelling/screaming, and generally using negative energy to get their way. People should learn how to maturely discuss, request, and positively influence others to reach inter-personal harmony. It goes for almost every type of relationship.
I get u. Ppl need to be introduced to the concept of logic n reason early enough..! U just tot me somethg I truly appreciate n must apply. Tnks mch.
@@obaroaluya3762 women and logic are antonyms
Ppl ought to rather be reminded to learn every so often hw to maturedly interact, discuss, request, demand & positively influence others to reach Interdependent , Interpersonal & Inpersonal harmony rather dan personal hegemony..!
@@particleconfig.8935 Perhaps is bc is nt included in d regiment n curriculum. Is there any harm in trying..?
You mean mature as people as they grow in age? Man, haven't you noticed that society tries hard to stunt that particular process?
Its not easy being the good catch in 2023. This gave great language for what it’s been like. I’m finding it tempting to dumb myself down to make myself more palatable to the consumer (women) because showing investment and healthy courtship seems to get us mistreatment instead of reciprocity. She has the prayer answered in front of her but thinks there’s a better deal out there. It’s like you have to date in phases. Keep the mystery about yourself
Exactly. I have got mistreated
Many women will ghost a guy and or throw temper tantrum silent treatments in the hopes that he will “learn his lesson”, when the fact of the matter is she ends up chasing him away then will complain that she cant find a decent guy.
Spot on!
The more sensitive a woman is, the more shit she will give you...
It's narcissism, the hypothetical women is a narcissistic women. Insecure, paranoid, controlling, abusive, setting double standards, guilt tripping, etc. A non narcissistic women treats their partners with trust and respect because they are coming from a secure position. I've seen both men and women behave narcissistical and they both act the same as the hypothetical women.
Nope.
@@justin-credible "Justin credible" do you realize what you are giving away about yourself by not only disagreeing without stating your reason why, as if you think just saying nope to someone's oppinion has credibility, but also with the name tag you go by. "Hello everyone, I'm Justin Incredible, if you don't believe me just ask me". There is a saying "Speak of the devil and he shall appear". In this case I have commented on narcissism and narcissism has presented itself.
@@danielanderton6125 yep, you sure hit a 🎯 with this one...found someone's 'sore spot'
@@justin-credible Daniel is 💯% correct. I speak from over 30 years of experience of men and women.
@@danielanderton6125 Again, nope
Yes!! I just learned about punishments and natural consequences in relationships. Out of relationships there are these hidden expectations when attraction or desire is present! So true Love your videos!!!
Thanks for the love, Emily. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episode "Covert contracts," which explores this idea further.
Yes women will always show small Red Flags of their emotional instability or mental issues/childhood....etc. Men should look for even tiny signs and leave. Never impregnate a woman (use birth control including Tubal Ligation) and dont marry her for ar least 7- 10 years minimum of vetting and carefully watching without letting her know you are looking for the truth.
This is such a breath of fresh air.
My marriage failed for a number of reasons. I am willing to hold myself accountable for the mistakes I made, and my lack of experience and maturity.
But god damn, this explanation on why she always gave me shit, even if "she loved me so much" makes a LOT of sense.
I found being a jerk actually got me more from females. Always speak your mind!
Sounds more like self respect and self worth
But your point has been communicated !
Yep. That's how I was laid throughout my 20's and 30's. It was like shotting fish in a barrel.
speaking mind doesnt have to mean u re jerk tho
It’s not being a jerk that is attractive. It’s the being okay in your own skin and not needing her validation.
Most women are in awe of men who are secure because it’s something they will never have.
Is it bad to telling a girl on the street or wherever you "just wanna fuck her"? Like bluntly, I just wanna fuck dat phat ass raw or something like that? Cos I don't like mind games and wasting time
One of the main reasons that I'm in my 50's and single is that I understand women.
Nicely put! I’m 38 years old and have been single for years. I hate to say it but after I started to really understand women, my desire for them really disappeared .. even casual dating and hookups aren’t worth it
Yeah wise and intelligent people have difficult with love and relationships am sigma male and empath and I don't beg people so that I will be with them no I can stay a lone instead of treating me badly I only want you if you want me and respecful its difficult but am strong
@@brianmeen2158 It's funny because it wasn't until my mid 30's that I begin to understand that it's pressure from peers and especially society to engage in so-called "relationships".
@@raashidiinabdullahi5583 calling yourself a sigma male means you are not a sigma mail
Ditto. I've understood very, very well since my late 20s. As a result I've had very, very little interest or motivation to do anything with them. When I realised what I was dealing with, what they were trying to do to me, and why, I lost interest. They only want men whose time and energy they can waste. If they come across a man who values his time and his interests above women, it's a big turnoff for them.
It just goes to show how some women can be their own worst enemy. And when they end up miserable and alone, they wonder why. Let's not forget that this is applicable to men as well.
Buying a dog and dying alone XD
They just blame men instead of being introspective
They KNOW why, they just REFUSE to accept and integrate the answer...
It's self sabotaging behaviour.
This is 1000% accurate.
Infact it was my mating strategy in my 20s. I'd purposely Dress down, be more of a "bad boy", hide all my academic achievements because I knew if she saw me as boyfriend material, it would take longer to get to the goal. This is so right, women never had me jumping through hoops when I gave a display of broke and hopeless. It's when i started making money and it was visible to see, that women became manipulative, gamers, and disagreeable.
"EDIT* 19/9/23
*TIPS FOR QUICK HOOK UPS*
1) Move to cities/towns known for their nightlife.
2) Don't dress up, dress clean.
3) have one or two items that sparkle enough to catch a person's eye. I don't mean a Rolex watch. Pick something egotistical and overly cocky, like a sparkly superman hat (don't shoot the messenger.)
4) Keep in relatively good shape. Pay special attention to your shoulders. Give yourself width.
5) Don't go out with more than 3 males. If you have any female friends, take as many with you. Women are fiercely competitive, the trope of women finding men who already have a woman, more attractive, is not a myth!
6) Never go out to 'pick up' girls. Go out to have the best time of your life with your friends, the music and the venue. Women are drawn to the guy who's enjoying himself the most. Trust me on this one, it may be weird to get your head around this, but once you embrace the desire to enjoy your night regardless of what happens, is the day you are liberated and weirdly the universe just gives you everything.
7) NEVER, NEVER compete for any woman. Live in a world of abundance, not scarcity. I've slept with 6's that were more memorable than 10's. Infact non of the 10s I slept with were memorable lays. Make it a habit to ignore the most beautiful girl around.
Credentials:
•100+ women before I turned 28.
•70+ women within a 2 year spell.
•Total money spent on those females combined = $200 (mostly pre drinks with the boys)
• Longest I've ever been made to wait= 10 days.
*EDIT*
Everything I became in my 20s in respects to women, was trained into me by women. Before then I was a hopeless romantic. Women taught me the type of caricature I had to embody for them to feel sexually attracted to me. Ergo
*don't talk about yourself. Talk about how beautiful we are*
*Don't be reserved, be cocky, egotistical and the centre of attention*
*chase us, don't communicate anything to us outside of how much you want us here and now*
*If ever in doubt, tell us we're sexy and demand that we come to you now, we need that type of assertive direction*
Eventually I began to hate who I was turning into and thus I started to dislike women raised in the west. I haven't been with a woman for 2 years. I plan to return back to my home country and find a traditional woman, maybe pay her father a bride price and then ask for her hand in marriage 😄
I give you all this advice about modern women so through your own experience you realise the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Modern women are like KFC, you'll be hungry again in 30 minutes because in truth, there's no real substance.
Kind regards,
They act that way because subconsciously they know you’re out of their league. A broke “bad boy” is either on their level or below them in their minds, so they’re not intimidated by that. If they feel they can’t match your lifestyle anyway, they will risk playing all kinds of games, because in their minds they were going to lose you anyway.
And one more thing: just because she’s pretty doesn’t mean she has self esteem. No matter how they look, a lot of women have low self esteem, because they have nothing going for themselves other than a nice face or nice body. A bad boy or thug also has nothing going for himself, so they are attracted to that, because he treats her how she feels about herself. If you let her know you like her or treat her well, she will lose respect for you, because in her mind she doesn’t deserve it.
Welp. I'm not a badboy, but I'm not successful either. Maybe I should pretend to be a badboy? I genuinely want to know what I should do, because being a broke sqaure doesn't seem to cut it.
@@clint.b.j.5490 find useful hobbies and forget destructive hobbies like xxs
@@clint.b.j.5490 bro, my honest advice as a guy with a crazy body count... It's all environmental. If you want to up your count consider moving closer to areas that have active Nightlife. Near University campuses is also a great shot.
I don’t know if you consider yourself part of the Manosphere but this is why the Manosphere is needed , there are people who can articulate the problems men face perfectly to other men who don’t understand why the feel like they’re being mistreated (You can’t complain about something you can’t explain ) …KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK 👏🏾
Men are not drawn to people who berate them, nor if they are angry with them. That is man repellent. Doing that will not bring about any change you desire.
Women who punish their men are concerned that they have married “down”. Making her look up to you might keep her on her toes. Nothing comes from nothing. Don’t look for problems without looking in the mirror first.
This is actually true!
Yep, Gisele married down to Tom Brady
Larsa Pippen married down to Scottie Pippen
Steph Curry’s wife married down to him when she started acting out
Emmitt Smith’s wife married down
Will Smith’s wife married down
Dr. Dre’s wife married down
Stop taking accountability away from women. Women need to start taking accountability for their childish behaviors
mmm mmhm mmm Yes yes yes. Sometimes women date men for a long time for the mans 'potential'. They fall in love with the kindness and the consistency of the man. Meanwhile years go by, and he himself has done NOTHING to improve his life or situation. Then women go... wow, this loser will always be a loser and I don't want that for myself anymore, nothing has worked out the way I thought it would... tisk tisk. Now the woman is nearing the short window to have a child and she has no man to HELP provide for a family.
Speaking from experience: I've dated down THINKING I was actually dating across. I'm in a 4 year relationship now, supporting him after he lost is entry level job and trying to help him find a new one. He mostly just sits on his phone these days watching porn and cat videos or playing video games while I work to fill his gas tank and feed him. He watches so much porn in fact, that he doesn't want sex more than once a month. I'm really emotional about it. I get angry, but hold it in to keep relationship running smoothly. He says he'll stop, but I'm not sure if that's true or not...
For some unknown reason I'm so infatuated with him that I can't leave. After all these year, I crave him.
It's been too long and now I have no 'baby window' time left to find another partner and start all over.
Wasted it all for love. So yeah, we women might get a little 'stressed out' with these men from time to time.
@@whitneybates168women also treat rich guys bad. I am wealthy, and women ask me why I am not a rockstar
Excellent video - Been married a long time and looking back my wife was far more attentive & sexual towards me before we moved in together. Sexual competition kept her in shape & wanting to please. If I could do life over again I would never marry, instead I would have 2 to 5 year relationships with women getting rid of them before they start to turn on me.
That makes sense logically but would be tough emotionally bc the relationship would still be good at that point
Live apart. Always leave options for yourself open. Keep your power and leverage over her. Retain your own nuclear option to leave unharmed. If she loves you she will stay. If she wants a simp plough horse she will leave you. Good riddance in that case.
It is not only important to punish bad behaviour, it is extremely important to praise and to react positive to good behaviour. Did you?
Lol
@DoughnationCreative I agree lol
I don't care what their motivation might be. I punish the hell out of anyone who tries to punish me.
This video was an eye-opener for me. I'm a man and I was exhibiting this kind of behavior with women I liked. Thanks Doc
Okay, [likely] manipulative, narcissist-woman; - typing on keyboards, whilst pretending to be a man. Smh.
read about the stoic philosophy and just act as if nothing happened.
This is so true. My ex gf's have always treated my like shxxt when they get mad ot emotional about anything and felt comfortable with treating me like trash but then nice to everyone else like wtf ??? Nah i told them you dont get to treat me like trash and youre not going to continue being comfortable doing it to me thinking its appropriate and you can disrespect me. Keep doing it and im leaving and i did just that say 3 times in my life. Tried working with them but they never worked on it themselves. Not worth staying around. We're not intimidated by you !!! Thats not what intimidates men . Youre just unpleasant and no one wants to be around someone who meticulously picks apart any conversation just to find a damn argument.
Yeah first to note is that there is an inherent phony part of people's psychology where they commit hypocrisy, and that part is usually the most problematic and hard to get a person to see and address.
2nd is the inherent aggression and possessiveness that goes with mating. Even sex itself is chained to raw aggression and it crosses over to general life and putting up with a mate still being constantly aggressive and irrational in daily situations.
I noticed that people in general seem to view it almost like permission to act foul if you entertain the idea of getting close to them, and it's something I do not tolerate.
Amen !
Man this is wild. Is this really why?! So much pain cause I got abused by a woman when I was a kid and couldn’t understand why they were always punishing me after showing interest, and even dating.
Heal up quickly LJ it's time to build !!!
@@inextinguishablemoltenblooded Thanks Ant. Appreciate you saying that more than you could know. I’m going to put others before myself, welcome the stranger like a brother, and love a great girl. I hope you’re blessed brother.
It is okay to say women are crazy when it comes to their emotions. Mostly because they are not honest with themselves or those they love. Here a psychologist is saying it, without saying it. Women will mostly reject this insight and continue to push away the men they actually like for the bad boy they don't care about.
They put on a false self to trap you along with love bombing. Then when you are married and burdened with kids, you see the real person. Usually after 2-3 years the mask comes off.
They are yes
you have this completely backwards.. the bad boy they are emotionally connected with.. the nice guy is the one they don't care about.
@@pazzodi3 Yeah, PsycHack just framed it like "guy a woman cares about" versus "guy a woman don't cares about" in order to make his point. It doesn't mean that women have all of a sudden become excited about dependable guys.
@@fnordiumendures138 I really don't understand why they call him the 'bad boy' though... To me a guy that knows what he wants and says it, takes risks, wants to outcompete all other men, has a prime physique, is comfortable with his sexuality.. that's not a bad guy, that's a guy that competes more... A guy that follows the rules, listens, stays quiet, waits his turn patiently, respects everyone regardless of reason, etc... That's not a nice guy... That's a timid guy.
So when one says to women, what do you want, a man that competes more than the rest or a timid guy... They will say the one that competes, every single time.
I've come to regret giving women the benefit of the doubt and have learned that I often without noticing it Naively give them more credit and believe them more Mature then they actually are.
I 100% agree, discovered this awhile back. Now am the same across board even with male friends (with little or no attachment). Require same good treatment from everyone only family members get a pass from me sometimes. How you treat A is thesame way you should treat B, it’s something I had to consciously learn. Nice pep talk Dr .
It's hard to do, but worth learning.
Many women have done this with me. The last who did it got a horrible reality check...right in front of one of my Facebook story viewers who just so happen to be present and saw it all. It was chilling for both women because it was clear rejection. Something most women are afraid of. This girl was a mild stalker type, highly attractive. But alienates herself from people. My coworker said this about her and doesn't even know her 🤦🏻♂️
Im currently being destroyed by a woman i used to really like. My male logic has me thinking shes trying to push me away from her but now your saying she really likes me and other women have told me the same. Now i know why this beautiful woman is single. Shes crazy 🤣
🤣🤣
😂😂
True, But you can also put her in order. You are the man. You may have grown out to be, the man. Men create order, no one or anything else does. You will have to create the order.
Well, unfortunately, most beautiful and sane women end up in a stable long-term relationship in their 20s. If you meet a beautiful 30-something, she probably has at least one pretty negative trait that pushes guys away.
If you don't meet your highschool sweatheart and if you aren't a top-5% guy yourself, you usually either get to be single or you have to find a woman whose brand of crazy you're willing to tolerate.
Be aware, you may end up feeling like real shit
Wow!! This is a wonderful message honestly. As a woman, we don’t even realize we’re doing this. Thanks for breaking this down!
That's the scary part
Women’s capacity for introspection is…. Not there
I’m young told we’re but didn’t care listen.
I honestly I believe thats why women are told by their men they are a "Bitch". How can you not know when you are treating someone poorly? Especially when he tells you but you continue to destroy what you really want??? I guess that makes perfect sense if you live your life motivated by your emotions.
She said "we" with a straight face 🤡. I know she's upset at the video and harboring reverse psychology lol. Thankfully though, most women (and men) aren't even like this.
Let’s face it, very few women will watch this video, and the ones who do will call him misogynistic.
Not true. This video helped me realized I subtly fucked up just yesterday. 🙄
@@bw-dn1wpintrospection is key to growth👏
@@bw-dn1wpyou are one of the “very few” women that will watch though lol
@@brianmeen2158 See? They don't listen lol
😂💯
The fruit of no consequences for bad behavior/attitude....
Herein lies the problem with the relationship lifeline in todays society where boundaries, taboos, and shaming have been replaced by the whims, caprice, and vicissitudes of feelings and emotions.
Until we ALL men, start calling out women's nonsensical behavior and setting boundaries, women WILL find themselves living with their cats and alone.
We already do. It's called MGTOW, and women are noticing and are complaining there are no decent men to date. You're right. We find your behaviour repulsive. We call out your behaviour, and we set our boundaries for our self-respect. Women don't like it. Enjoy your cats, ladies.
Buy a dog and die alone, Kevin Samuels used to say haha
The lie of the century: women are the emotionally mature sex. So often not the case it's disgusting.
Ànother way to look at it is that women don't care much towards guys who they have friend-zoned . But get irritated towards the guys they like who show a lack of interest .
Yup. It's a confusing, frustrating, arduous mess.
This makes so much sense!
Many years ago, I encountered a lady who had just gotten out of a relationship. I didn’t trust her due to a gut feeling i could ever explain at the time, but chose to be friends. I was immature and treated her badly, until karma got the better of me. She not only gave me a taste of my own medicine, but something else I didn’t understand at the time too. Years later, even after apologising, I found out her ex at the time was a notorious playboy, and she had tried to play him initially, but it backfired. This was around the time I met her too. I thought I was crazy, but now I know for sure that she was taking out her frustration at me, and doing exactly what she described he did when he played her!
The funny thing is, I haven’t spoken to her in years, but the last time we did speak, she acted like we were still close.
Geez, your videos are so insightful.
So your immaturity and bad treatment of her had nothing to do with it? SMH
@@dontme4132 on the contrary, I did mention karma got the better of me. The point is, before I even met her, she was already in a vulnerable state. I didn’t know that, but her actions also showed otherwise too. I realize now she wasn’t honest about herself because she didn’t want her past relationship scars to affect the present. Unfortunately that didn’t work out, as her behavior, even before I treated her badly, was difficult to deal with. I admit that I was a bully, and it’s because of that I could tell these things. Bullies are sad people, but also quite perceptive; they see things that the victims don’t want others to know. My behavior may have added on to her trauma, yes, but I never asked her to attempt the things she did before she met me. Apart from my own dish of bad treatment, she has always been this way. We all have our own scars, and secrets I suppose. We all have to seek ways to dealing with it, without it affecting others around us.
Women make decent guys pay for what they freely give to jerks.
Envision the classic gentleman from the 1940s or 50s. Peak of true masculinity. Would he say this? No. Neither should you.
@@johnhayes9634 Would women of the 40s or 50s treat him the way modern women treat modern men? No. You aren't making the point you think your making.
@@charliekarageorges5081 I am making the point I think I’m making.
The women of the 40s and 50s treated men more respectfully. This is an indisputable fact. However, take a look at the average 1940s/50s man himself. He’s, to put it simply, far more respectable of a man than those who live in our current times. A large amount of men aged 18-35 were literal war veterans.
The average modern man is simply not as respectable. His testosterone levels have decreased 50% since 2004, and many are simply more effeminate than in the past. Vaping, eating junk food, and playing video games aren’t necessarily attractive traits. If you put one of these men in front of a woman from the 40s, you’ve gotta be delusional if you think she’ll respect him the same amount.
Women punish every man: by talking!
TLDR always strive to be the guy she can take or leave and you will have a great life
I would never date a women who punishes me.. however if she asks to talk to me like a mature adult I would gladly listen and see what we can do to make changes for the relationship to become more fulfilling on both ends.
Ha! How often do you think THAT will happen?
I don't think women ever become adults. Maybe after certain experirnces in life such as child-bearing and struggle to keep the family united.
Still, most women are and will forever be girls and childish, especially with men they know are of more value than they are.
A woman can't punish you. Only you can let her punish you. Water off a duck's back.
She can try. But if you just laugh at her.
I think this definitely applies in the early stages, but once you guys have made a commitment to each other, then I think it's fair to let the other person know what good and bad behaviour is to you.
However, indirect passive-aggressive reactions rarely work out well and usually end up with some sort of confusion, miscommunication and bad feelings.
'then I think it's fair to let the other person know what good and bad behaviour is to you' - yes, but good luck trying to find a woman who'll communicate with you calmly, fairly and openly, and wont fly into rage, tears, or break up with you because you DARED stand up to her. IME once you calmly make a boundary known and enforce it, that's when the nuclear bomb drops. If not that, then the passive-aggressive reactions begin, and the undercurrent of nastiness that's the norm in most LTRs or marriages that I've seen.
@@EE12CSVT if that's the case then you follow through on your boundary - if you've clearly marked your boundary and she doesn't respect it, then it's time to go (if you have kids or similar commitments that makes it more complex and needs more thought). You need to be with someone who respects your boundaries.
I've forgotten the content of the video - isn't this about women not communicating what is acceptable to them? That's what I would gather from the title. In which case I may have been referring to women letting men know what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, instead of being passive-aggressive and punishing men. I honestly don't remember what the video said lol
He actually states in the video that it has to be something communicated, and AGREED upon.
This is why young love fails so easily. People you care about hurt you more and more often than those you don't care about.
Yea I’m 19 and me and my ex girlfriend broke up last month we got into an argument and had
a fight both disrespecting each other and I made her cry but she knew I care about her but she still chose to leave so in my head how many other options of men your going to meet who’s genuinely going to care about you not saying she can’t find better in the future but the likelihood and percentage is low because dating suck right now I don’t understand what’s the point of wanting a relationship but can’t handle adversity and run away from problems we have within the relationship and just make it work with each other we graduated together and I’m kinda disappointed because I wanted to last with my high-school sweetheart
@@Duddamac she will easily find someone who likes her, probably not easy to find a decent person tho. Also if you care, maybe don’t disrespect them. That goes both ways. You shouldnt expect the people who care about to accept disrespect simply because you care about them or say you do.
@@Blub2cool I never said I expect it but long term relationships are going to have its ups and downs nothing is perfect that’s my point Im trying to make no 25 year relationship is going to be perfect and that what most women want but leaves when difficult times hit and go to the next person.
@@Duddamac as a women, i dont think that generalization is true and its about finding people who think similar to you. Because I’ve experienced men who seem to think supposed to be all sunshine’s and rainbows, but maybe that is true for them. But you also shouldnt expect people you care about to accept disrespect.
@@Blub2cool I already knew you was a woman because ur already shown bias towards my ex and automatically picked her side all I’m saying is life is going to come with challenges n it’s up to u to fight through it and make it work nothing is going to be perfect in life wats the point of wanting a boyfriend or get married of you don’t want to just make it work and stick by us men side if uk that man cares about u
Very insightful. I always know when one of your videos hits home because I tend to squirm a little; I plan to be on high alert of my behavior in this regard going forward.
I think, instead of trying to change people, we should accept this as normal and natural. If I'm dating a woman and she becomes obsessive... I see that as a green flag. It means she actually cares about me. It means she wants me.
If I tell her "Hey, because you said we're just friends, I'm gonna take some random woman I met on hinge on a date on Valentine's day." If she gets jealous... it means she actually wanted me to take her. It doesn't matter if she says "we're just friends", if we're dating on Valentine's day... I might as well be her boyfriend. Actions define your relationship status way more than words do.
That might be a viable way of going about things, but my fiance doesn't do this. We don't get jealous, but our rule is that we always tell each other when we have had some flirting thrown our way or find someone else attractive. We both hate controlling behavior. I feel like i didn't have to change her at all. I think this isn't for men to hear. This is a tool for women to help themselves which they can take or leave.
That's an excellent test! Very clever!
Ah yes, the jealousy card! 🤣🤣🤣
Quite true. My wife was lamenting early appointment the next morning. On and on. Finally, I told her that I didn’t care. She to me , that is rude. I told her I was being honest. The appointment would benefit her. I know, I am just supposed to listen to her vent, but sometimes, it gets the best of me.
Moral of the story, dont try to get her emotionally invested in you
If they start the random hot/cold thing (passive aggressive manipulation) and repeat the behavior they will fail my vetting stage pretty quick. It's a heads up they will act like a 5yo void of empathy when things don't go their way. Hot/cold can also be seen as a s-test "will you put up with my crazy/neurosis" Answer = No.
It seems liek all women do this nowadays
@@johnclark8637 Yes, I realised a long time ago that pretty much all women were behaving like little girls
@@rohithreddy75 Yep, narcissistic personality disorder. When you know the traits as listed in the DSM-V, you then see them displayed in modern women for the world to see. Some are lower on the spectrum than others, but they're generally now much higher on it than they ever used to be.
Yes, this makes a lot of sense. Been through it many times. I let 2 of my girlfriends in the past go because they drove me bonkers with this stuff. I really tried to make it work. It was sad. They became like "sandpaper" is the only was I could describe it. Eventually I started to pull away because being around them was painful. Then eventually the love just died.
To keep it in check, she gets treated 1% better than she treats you...........not happy, walk away and don't look back. You receive what you give....
The ones I find, usually ghost me, and I'm the one ending up frustrated. This problem goes both ways, but I feel it's worse for men, because girls usually have many guys orbiting them.
They always have a back burner
Nobody can do anything to you if you don’t allow it! Know your strength.
Exactly.
Frame = Self-Respect
Agree 100%! I'm so glad that men have come to understand females and are calling them on their shit in "real time."
I have seen and experienced so much of this. It is so common for women to hone in on their bf with laser focus and be almost psychotically critical of him, often in absurdly hypocritical ways. That has actually been how I've addressed the issue with women, by turning it around and using their own judgements on them and asking them how they feel about their own thoughts applied to them. They usually short circuit and either throw a tantrum or realize they're acting insane. The former is much more common, however.
I figured this out in 3rd grade. As I hit 30 I finally learned to stay away. I prefer the quiet, peaceful and humble life to the constant list of needs and difficulties it takes to attract and provide for one.
Odds are most on the viewers of this video will be cerebral men. The advice here is for people who are strategically averse to personal accountability.
Great video. Sending this to someone that needs it will likely create a new bone of contention
The older I got, the more I realised how emotionally unstable MANY women are.
I suspect birth control AND a high body count (microchimerism).
Yes, and the other big 1 is psychoactive medications Like antidepressants and anti anxiety - Chemically alter their brains
Last gf wanted to get married when we were in the early days. I had some serious misgivings. Early on problems began but were manageable. In the end I just wanted to be friends because I valued her in some ways. She wasn't a total train wreck. She couldn't even handle being friends. Most of the time I don't even know what the argument was about. She just wanted to own me lock stock and barrel. No matter how hard I tried to avoid fighting with her, it was impossible. Practically put me off of women all together. I'm just starting back after more than 2 years alone.
Love the insight in this, you hit the nail on the head!
In some instances, I think this behavior is to psychologically control a man and make him undesirable in the eyes of other women (so she can ultimately be in possession of him), but maybe I'm just paranoid!
yes, some women do this lol
You made an interesting point here, very interesting indeed. I'd just like to add that the same applies to men as well, not only gay/bisexual men, but also straight men. I felt like I did the same many times. Perhaps it's in human nature to create bigger expectations with those we feel more invested in.
Also when she asleeps with the guy she ‘didn’t care about’ and not with the guy she does.
solid gold here, if only we could get the ladies to understand and apply 🤔
The problem here is that men and women portray fake versions of themselves initially on a date. Men and women love bomb each other. However women start to wonder why the guy is falling off once he has got some physical commitment. It is not that the guy is falling off, it is that she is really seeing the guy for who he really is and she is angry she got tricked. Guys, also see a similar thing once the women has got the ring, house and kids, because at this point she no longer needs to put on a front as she now has everything she wants, has all the power and leverage in the relationship/marriage/divorce court.
That is certainly a common problem. I made an episode on the topic called "Why most relationships don't last". You can check it out, if you haven't done so already.
Also, taking things slow with the guy you really like while not taking things slow with the guy you don't like is pretty much guaranteed to be taken as a relationship-ending insult if the guy you really like finds out. And he probably will sooner or later.
Women take things slowly with the guy they really like because society constantly tells them that if they don't he will just use them for sex and not take them seriously. If you approach this issue from a woman's perspective you'll see it actually makes a lot of sense.
Speaking from personal experience, a lot of men really do see things this way. I had a friend who would "give it up" to guys right away, even if she wanted to be in a relationship. She's still single to this day. Whenever I gave in right away I would always lose in some way. So if I meet someone who is a stranger to me (not a proven friend), really like him, begin dating him, the best course of action (to me) is to take it slowly. Then again, I don't do random hookups and one night stands, and I don't do "casual."
@@darlyo.4090 Not doing random hookups and one night stands means the vast majority of guys aren't going to get offended by having to wait. It's when other guys didn't have to wait that it becomes a different beast. Especially if it was a whole bunch of guys who didn't have to wait. That sort of information can end marriages when it gets out. Though it's really only the end of the relationship if the guy was serious. He might just switch gears and go casual. Hopefully he'd tell her about the change of plans, but not always.
"So what you're saying is I should make sure he doesn't have any better options to run off to?"