Why NICE GUYS finish LAST, or: why women love jerks
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- Опубликовано: 26 июн 2024
- This episode builds on the conclusions of my previous episode, "Women want it all." Today I'll be tackling the age-old complaint of all also-rans: nice guys finish last. The flip side of this is the analogous complaint that women love jerks. However, it only looks like women choose jerks from the perspective of nice guys. The fact of the matter is that this isn't entirely true, and I'll explain why using the results of psychological research. And since men typically understand business better than they understand women, I'll use a professional framework to illustrate my points.
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#dating #niceguys #relationship
Step 1: SAY you want nice guys.
Step 2: GO for bad boys.
Step 3: ASK where have all the good ones have gone.
Step 4: BLAME men.
Step 5: Get a subscription for cat food and boxed wine delivery...
😂
So fucking true man.. you said it soo good... and then they start to cry, and feel so sorry for themselves....
step between 1 and 2 is marrying a nice guy, step between 2 and 3 is divorcing him
Problem these days is by 'good men' they mean men who are wealthy AND tall AND good looking AND successful etc. You have the majority of women fighting for the 1% of men and the years drift by as they still look for that man. So a woman in the 50th percentile believes she deserves a man in the 1st percentile. Same in dating sites where 4% of men get all the action.
I know a 40 year old woman, very overweight, average looking, has a low paying job and lives with her mother but even she is fussy.
Most Alpha thing you can do is be yourself unapologetically. If she doesn't like you it's her loss. Find someone who likes you period
This is solid advice.
I started doing this a few years ago and my results are getting better. It's a trick that's hidden under your nose, being yourself.
Another tip: being yourself helps you filter out the people who are not compatible by default. All you need to do after that is to keep improving yourself.
100%
Funniest thing is once you've moved on she'll be back 🤣
I agree
One of the truest things I’ve ever heard was, “A guy wants a good girl who’s only bad for him. A girl wants a bad boy who’s only good to her.”
Wow
annd thats on the money!
Apt
Men want a woman who is "bad" for them only in terms of what? Having no taboos in bed is not bad.
@@Rockownz5150 bad as in the bed room
“Where are all the nice guys???”
They’re over there, in the friend zone, right where you put them ladies…
My ex had a male friend mowing her lawn soon after she divorced me. All I could do was laugh to myself. Having a sense of humor has helped me a lot in life.
@@BLU3D4Y Yup. Just like... "I never get asked out" and "I wish a guy would approach me". A semi attractive and outgoing girl gets asked out 100x more than her male equivalent. What she means is:
"I wish a hot, tall and charismatic but naïve guy would approach me without me having to risk my own ego"
or
"Sighhh......Tall, hot, band guys with tattoos just fukc me, but never stick around and ASK me OUT for a relationship".
Too true🤣
Don't be friends with ladies.
@@BLU3D4Y Ask the script writers!, LOL
Everybody already knows this. The problem is the whining and complaining after making said choice then blaming a majority of men for their experiences
Projecting their past trauma onto innocent men. I met this one girl on a dating app, on our date (she hide from me she had a child until the day of our meeting.."dropping him off at his father's house),,during it she talked about the abusive behaviors from her ex (a lot of the conversation direct back to him) and she told me about her Christian faith and she was not going to have sex until she marries the next man (she was "born again"). I was polite but I knew this was not going to progress. Glad I didn't either, making another man pay the price for her past decisions.
@@Tgogators it’s smart tbh, considering the state of the dating market she’ll find a simp who doesn’t have self respect and is desperate to marry her and provide for her until she ends up cheating on him
@@MrMoarpienao If life's taught me anything, these religious motivated sexual absence pledges seldom work out. It usually means they do everything but actual intercourse for a time, then once it's consummated, they find ways to justify it to themselves ("We're in love and going to get married....Small sins, hehe"). I was more turned off by how she was throwing God between her and her vag and she had a child (onto of her intentionally keeping that from me). One girl that was once in my youth group now has an OnlyFans, lol
@Gregory Hink i think many betrayed guys have some experience with this finding
No, Everyone does not already know this. Young men are deliberately lied to by women, and older men don't educate younger men well enough.
Women who want those "Benefits" from the Bad guy.... often leave heartbroken, cold, now wanting the nice guy, and as a single mom
Amen to that, bro!
Yep. And I hope to see more men having enough self-respect for themselves to stay away from those types of women. If they weren't good enough for you in their prime, then don't save them in their decline.
Karma, a bitch!
Which is absolutely hilarious I have no sympathy for these women 😂
@@brandongray1059
There will be always an enormous flow of mister nice guys who would be fine with orbiting single moms but usually, these guys are of such "value" that even single moms do not want them.
The brutal truth. Men, stop putting women on a pedestal and see them how they are.
brainless
As a self recovering "nice guy", I really wish women stopped lying to men and telling them they value nice traits over the other stuff they actually look for. I'm really glad I came across this video because I love the analogy of the two jobs you give.
Some reading material I highly suggest is No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover. A fantastic read
I don't think they are lying they just don't know any better. They really believe they want a nice buy until one shows up and bores them to tears. rinse and repeat on the next relationship.
THey were not lying. When they say that they are talking about Chad and bad boys wishing they treated her better. The thought of you was not into her equation as you were a friend and didn't count as a guy. Remember the bottom 85% are invisible
@@timgibney5590 Yes correct, they want those traits in a man they are already attracted to, these traits don't create attraction, they solidify it in a guy who's already gained her heart
@@ankstuhful Which is counter intuitivie. I think a beta buck has some appeal but not the raw mindblowing of the jerk. They sleep with the jerk but get angry at him for not having status and leave and will give the high status a chance but feel something is missing after awhile daydreaming about that jerk at the biker bar 10 years ago while sleeping with her husband. She won't ever tell her husband this of course
Don't listen to women about what women want.
As I have always said women seek resources more than love. They are the ultimate pragmatists. When are we ever going to learn this most valuable lesson?
I think this PhD has a few other videos explaining the many women don't want relationships. They want what the relationship can provide, e.g. money, kids, home, etc. This fact explains why many women want marriage and why they also want divorce (i.e. extraction of the money, house and kids from the husband).
This is a fact. The confusion comes from listening to women's words and not observing their actions. They do not say it explicitly, because that would be admitting to prostitution.
On the one hand, men will begin to learn about these issues if more guys were willing to talk about their divorces, child custody battles, losing the house, etc. However most guys are too ashamed to talk about their loses (renting a tiny apartment post divorce or moving back in with their parents). However with things like the red pill, manosphere, MGTOW, etc there is a glimmer of hope that some men will learn before it is too late. Although this will take time as ultimately guys are hypnotised when they see beauty.
BINGO! You said it! And I've said the same thing. It's not about love. But we're constantly told they're looking for love and want to be loved. I know someone who said to me several years ago that that's all they want is to be loved. Super blue pill mindset.
@@Kenny-Ross the dark truth is that many wives see marriage as something to get 1. babies and 2. financial security from. The husband is normally number 4 or 5 on the priority list after the wedding party, diamond ring and honeymoon. Unfortunately no one tells us this before marriage/kids.
I watched a video of a girl admitting that she wanted to date a drug dealer over a guy that worked at FedEx. At some point as a man you have to admit to what you are seeing in front of you and that women are what they are and treat them accordingly.
Right!
The drug dealer is providing her with two things: drugs and protection.
I saw that video. She was a single mom, good looking but gets bored unless the guy was doing risky things. Those types you stay away from or don't take them serious. Focus on the good ones left.
Yes, but aren't "bad" women attractive to us men as well? I mean, how many of us wan't find a woman who is notoriously infaithful without any regrets to be irresistingly sexy?
@@stephanie7572protection from what? If anything she's risking more by hanging around those types 😂
Married three times, admittedly a nice guy. Married 14 years, 16 years and three. I am 73. All good women but as soon as they got complacent, bored or forgot their responsibility no fights I just left with car and my clothes. They were welcome to have everything else. The 1st one became a drug addict. The 2nd one was almost successful committing suicide. The 3rd one has sent over a 125 memes in the past year and a 1/2 lamenting her loss. Not one of them thought to say they were sorry that they didn't hold up their sign of the bargain. Narcissism, it's a plague in our Is American culture.
Nothing beats the Truth. No substitute for life experience.
A+
you just let them have everything???????
The 19th was the original sin.
Never make an Eve responsible for an apple orchard....
@@richardkalmwater5996 The Bible is the Law. Feminism is full rebellion against the Most High's order.
1 Corinthians 11: 3 Man is the head of the woman.
Never give Eve authority over the apple orchard; welcome to Man's Fallen State.
@@binladensassassin , People pay their life for freedom and liberty, what is a house in comparison?
Being a bad , abusive man is a turn on for a lot of the broken women we have nowdays
This is true and a vicious cycle. Bad boys not equal to a true Man. These bad boys have babies with broken women, don't lead those broken women, bad “situationship” lead to divorces, divorces lead to broken children.
Be the best man. Learn what that is and what is the man for a prosperous society.
Because they’re NOT after a Family. Go ahead and prove me wrong.
The so-called bad boys are not just bad and that is it, no, they are strong and fearless and all the other guys are afraid of them and that is what attracts many women. I
Too many "nice guys" are not nice but weak and insecure and masquerade their weakness as niceness and women sense that very easily.
@@nikokapanen82 what do you need to be fearless for? Are they even after a fight lol
@@hastensavoir7782
It is very natural for a woman to desire to be with a man who is strong and fearless so that she would feel secure and cozy in his arms and very often the so-called "bad boys" are that, they are big strong and fearless because you cannot be weak and fearful and at the same time a "bad boy".
Of course, it is also true that since these big bad boys are not just strong and fearless but also bad, like literally bad, the women who date them begin to receive a very serious mistreatment and suffer a lot from it.
My successes with women SIGNIFICANTLY increased the moment I stopped listening to what they said they wanted from men and started looking at the men that they were fvcking.
Women in general or you actually met the men they dated before you?
Men love unconditionally
Women love opportunistically
Women treat love like it's heroine. They are just chasing the hit.
'Women are great, until they want something from you'
Women don't love at all the only thing women love is themselves and they can't even do that right
This is so unbelievably accurate!
If she gets fat, will you love her unconditionally? No. No one loves unconditionally….unless you’re a child. And that‘s ok because it’s reality.
Its odd because practically every woman's dating profile states kindness, honesty, and loyalty as what they are looking for. But that is only after you meet the criteria of providing the other more exciting attributes that they conveniently leave out of their profiles so that they don't come off as gold diggers. I question if it is all worth it or not, and I think not.
When they’re done w the jerk drama, they come looking for a sip of that intelligence, loyalty and kindness
I've been questioning it also. I'm 44 next month. If I spend the next 6 years working my ass off to level up financially and fitness wise...I'm supposed to them accept a woman who has been passed around for 30 years and been in multiple relationships, a woman who only sees me because she couldn't make it work with Chad or Tyrone and finally sees me as her best option? Out of principle I won't date women in my age group when I'm 50. Them bitches been terrible to honest, kind, giving men like me their whole life. They ignore us, use us, discard us.
Women are like those affluent people who like to support illegals immigrants coming to the country, but when you send them into their own back yard like Martha's Vineyard they call the National Guard to kick them out. Women are like those people, they like to virtue signal. Do you really think any one of them will be honest and say; no I don't want them here illegally?
@@desmonides I think you mean the opposite - when the jerks are done in the sense they are not financially investing even a McDonald's happy meal in them.
@@fausto412 "I'm supposed to accept a man who's been passed around for 30 years and been in multiple relationships; a man who only sees me because he couldn't make it work with Stacey and finally sees me as his best option? Out of principle I won't date men in my age group when I'm 50. Them bitches are terrible to honest, kind, giving women like me their whole life. They ignore us, use us, discard us." ...sure, because no one who lost a beloved partner in a car accident exists.
Fortunately, I'm happily settled down with an extremely sweet guy, but--you're the male equivalent of my female friends. Y'all need to understand what an individual is.
The thing is, the "asshole" guys end up having so much choices, they rarely stay loyal. And after getting traumatised by toxic guys is when girls start appreciating the "nice guys."
That does seem to be what happens. Even in the comments here, many women have said something like: "I did that once. Now I like nice guys."
@@psychacks But what we keep hearing is that they feel they are settling for the nice guys and never really love them, as in Katie Perry's song "The One That Got Away".
Nice guys seem to have more options between the ages of 40 - 60
Nice guys are mostly just push overs who claim to be "nice" when rely they are just as insurcure and arrogant and emotionally unavailable and not willing to put any effort in. They just lack social skills and don't know how to cheat.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Nice guys do not have opportunities to be disloyal.
Bottom line:
Don’t be completely honest.
Act like you don’t care, even if you do.
Resist giving validation/attention/time despite wanting to and sincerely loving them.
Act like you have one foot out the door.
Act like women are daily attempting to rape you, even though you are loyal and would never cheat.
Never reveal your true feelings for her. Once they know, it’s over.
Lol exactly what my mom said.
The tough truth... great comment
Sad but true.....as he says ....It is what it is.
@@markmccullough5873
Your mom sucks as a woman, but was a Good mom.
It really that simple just be the man who women are constantly complaining about because that's man they're dating
The key problem is not that women (especially young/hot women) chose jerks over nice guys. The problem is that by doing so they CREATE jerks. By rewarding the toxic behavior of jerks with sex, women perpetuate toxic attitudes in those jerks and simultaneously they incentivize otherwise nice men to become jerks. And while there're lots of pro-feminist articles out there making compelling cases on why men should stop being jerks, I see very little articles by feminists asking young women to stop creating and perpetuating jerk behavior in men.
Because that will block them the access to what benefits them in the first place. Asking women to reduce the creation of jerks equals a short picking pool of choices which will benefit for their whims. Hence, they dream about the rash dude that they can tame but at the same time, if they succeed they'll feel like cheated. And the loop arises again.
Sure, but the same is true regarding man creating lousy woman. Young man and jerks value woman who look and act like cheap whores. So many girls who are unsure, will try to be one. And surely, they'll get man easily that way. This is more like mathematics than anything.
The only reason for all these relationship problems is that most people are stupid, and or unable to control their urges. So they'll stupidly go for the crappy choices in life, until it is too late.
Women take revenge far more often than men do and their revenge is always far out of control and more vicious. That is not the nature of a sane gentle person.
This wouldn't happen if people were taught what it truly means to be a man. Honour, virtue and morals. Not bending your back on any of these is more attractive than the typical jerk, for any kind of woman.
@@GhostStaff27It's also because they know there will always be men waiting in the wings to commit when they are ready.
Women say one thing. But deep down they really want the guy that treats them with indifference. Once their beauty fades a little bit, then they "Settle" for the nice guy. Work on yourselves, you can never go wrong with that.
Weh pero ung mga ggong lalake puro gusto lng ung attractive pag babae bawal mamili ng gugustuhin??
"They're not choosing assholes... they're choosing good looking, high earning, interesting and exciting lifestyle providers" that's a great summary there! There's a severe disconnect in what men and women value compared to what they think each other values. The nature versus nurture debate will continue to rage, but the reality is that women and men won't be happy if they don't understand these fundamental differences.
Yes -- this is an important misunderstanding. See my episode "What men and women look for in sexual partners".
Then why do they date inmates and unemeployed losers. Yes they fall for these bad boys too. The rich guy is there to raise the convicts kids afterwards
@@timgibney5590 Looks, everything fails in comparison to looks
@@timgibney5590 maybe it's because those women are also criminals and losers? Or they would be if they thought they could get away with it
@@bluebutterfly5062 One woman told me it feeds her protection mechanism as only the criminal can protect her and if he is good with his fists means he must be amazing in bed. It a lust element that no one can f with him
This would be hilarious if wasn't for the fact that most young boys are lied to throughout their youth and end up struggling thru self doubt, depression and hopelessness when they find the lies they've been told, turn out to be incompatible with today's reality. Many young men have been lost thru these lies fed to them by people they trusted. This truth needs to made common knowledge.
Seek and you shall find. I found about the red-blue pill dichotomy, and then about the black pill in my 30s and 40s. Better late than never.
Take what is useful, disregard the rest.
its just a filter to remove men who cant smell BS from genetic pool. There is a reason only 40% of men get to pass on their genes
As a recovering nice guy, I can confirm I've been lied to for the first few decades of my life, than I realised that I had to face reality after a very bad breakup (for me). A few years latter and I'm still going down this redpilll rabbit hole 😅
So true
I would agree with all that.
You nailed it! 10/10! This analogy with bosses is absolutely brilliant, in fact it's so easy to understand a woman if you think of her as an employee and a man as an employer!
Many people are amazed by this analogy but seem to fail to notice that it doesn't factor in a very important aspect.
The relationship between the employee and the boss generally remains as such. It can relatively easily be put to an end and isn't supposed to permeate into other areas of one's life while the relationship between a man and a woman can easily evolve into something that can have lifetime consequences.
The two choices are not equal at all.
Good. Only one type of employment can also have lifetime consequences: slavery.
You failed.
She is the owner of the company & you are the CEO.
The problem with this analysis is that I have personally known many dozens of women who may have chosen men based upon visceral attraction, excitement and emotional thrill factor, but these same men provided nothing monetary, we’re not high earners, often leeched off the women and we’re physically/emotionally abusive. So based upon in depth, broad experience, I would say that certain women of all ages, class, education levels and social status are simply drawn to classic bad boys.
exactly. there are a lot of guys that play the "alpha" part but are not.they know the game. younger women don't know the difference and will fall for that. .
They just want the emotional rollercoaster. If you think a bit, you can quickly master how give them what they want without having to be a classic bad boy.
They just need a little bit of drama sometimes ...
@@incassable teach us sensei
It's the maturity level of the women. That's why the first question that really should be asked when someone complains about the types of their attraction is: What kind of guy (or girl) are you going after?? Girls in their mid-20s and under are more prone to go with what makes them "feel" excited. When I worked at Waffle House, a co-worker (who was then in his 30s, lived with a roommate, convicted felon, didnt have a car, a bit overweight too), in my time there, had 2 different GFs, both were dropping him off and picking him up from work. Neither lasted long (he even got The Clap from one lol). Point is: If you have the right attitude of honesty and confidence, you can find success (even if ends up being short time).
The men who does the least and care the least will always get the most out of women him having money or not Is irrelevant
I appreciate you telling guys the things that women SHOULD tell us but don't have the guts to (or strategically don't do). The message I'm getting from this video is not "be an asshole and you'll get women", but in fact, "be more concerned about becoming attractive to women than being nice". I wish I had learned that when I was much younger. I sort of resigned myself to not being that attractive and basically didn't date hardly anyone as a result until I met my wife at age 26, and even then, we only ended up together because she showed obvious interest in me. I've been learning since then that attractiveness isn't just about your God-given looks, but there's many other things you can do to become more attractive.
Exactly. Too many people online make it out like looks are everything. They are important, but men can be more attractive to women if they are well rounded people. Most of these 'looks only' type guys just have nothing to offer as people I suspect.
I'm a short balding man with a horrible haircut, and I've had a few women obsess over me in the last few years. and it certainly isn't my killer looks that are doing it, although my face isn't ugly.
Yes! A woman feeling secure in you comes in many forms. Job security, savings, financial decisions, kindness, keeping your word, cherishing her. Etc
I always say you can't beat money or looks. I was raised by a single mother who believed in her sons being nice guys so I overly respected women in interactions my whole life. My mother was wrong. Totally screws up the sex equation and it makes you lose respect for women as well. It can make you look at them like they are just soulless animals who live on a lower plane.
Exactly my situation. I had both parents, but when it came to “raising” my brother and I, my father deferred to my Moms rules. I took me until my mid 30s to really figure it out and change.
My Dad and I since have spoke about it, and his reasoning was he paid for everything, and my Mom had very strong rules about how we were both raised.
Basically the path of least resistance. My younger brother never had any of these problems I ended up with.
He s 4 years younger than me, been with an amazing woman for 19 years and 2 young wonderful children.
Im 45 and still single:/
I mean they essentially are soulless. They have weak morals and no self awareness. Hypergamy has been causing massive problems for society for thousands of years. The difference between men and women is most men do what they know is best for their community. Whereas most women do whats only best for themself
How is realism a problem? That is exactly what they are.
exactly, most of us raised by mother and we lack of father figure who can teach us about masculinity and lot of manhood stuff. most of mother trait is be good and respectful to other, they dont teach us to fight for our worth when someone knock it down, be dominance, and be powerful. that kind of stuff only can be teach by man and to other men
🎯👏💯
There is nothing wrong with being nice. Just also have self-respect. Going out of your way to act super 'nice' to her all the time won't change the outcome. She's either into you, or she isn't.
Boom. Nailed it. I've never been wired to be a jerk to women, or really anyone unless provoked. But I don't tolerate disrespect from women, and I don't tolerate the friend zone. If a girl is into you, great. If she's not, stay away from her. Likewise, don't date Chad's leftovers - if she has a high body count, don't waste your time with her, she is a 304.
Right! I say this without sadness, one time I listened to a podcast where the lady spent 30 minutes describing signs which indicate a woman loves you. I did not recognize one sign. I am 60 and figured out I never meant anything to woman.
If you are a nice guy, you will not be into her. At least in a physical sense. She will be banging the bad boy she met in a bar the night before.
Straight truth! Even more than this video
@@brandongray1059 someone gets it
"The way things actually are."
Okay.
The way things actually are is, they choose males who beat on them, cheat on them, mock their dreams and ambitions, expect her to bail him out of jail a few times per year because he just "can't seem to stay out of bar fights," hit on their hot friends and family members, generally treat them like s**t and, if they survive that string of relationships ( they often don't)THEN they come slinking their battered bodies and psyches up on the men they waltzed right past for decades with some version of "if I had been smart, I would have been looking for a guy like you," and expect those men to pick up the pieces of whatever is left of them.
It's generally too late by then. Those men have been snatched up by wiser women who knew earlier on that a bad BOY can never really measure up to an honorable MAN in any way that really matters.
It is a pattern of behavior actual grown men have lost interest in pretending to respect.
It is never a man's job to make up for a woman's bad choices.
No. The woman you wanted chose that. Grow some and move on. All women would have black eyes if that's what we wanted. Not a lot of women with black eyes. Your woman you chose is not a healthy minded woman. Wish her well move on
A fact that, i personally feel, is often overlooked is, that it is not forcefully an either-or-choice, between nice guys and dating material in their life.
The values nice guys can provide are just completely accessible by friendship, while s*x-relevant values like looks, health and fitness are ONLY accessible by romance.
So if she needs good advice, she doesn't need to date the most intelligent guy, she can just befriend and call him, when advice is needed. If she wants to laugh she can just befriend the funniest guy and call him to make her laugh and so on.
So nice guys DO offer values, but they are accessible without romancing them. But to be fair (and this is also often overlooked), it's not actually a "woman-issue". Guys choose exactly the same way. They will never romance a woman just because she's intelligent or funny, without finding her physically attractive.
The core difference here is that most men are fine with "good enough", especially when it comes to physical attractiveness. Access to s*x is more important to men than being with a woman that is objectively more physically attractive and an "all-in-one package" person (smart, funny, etc. etc.) Women are far less satisfied with "good enough", even if, for example, average genes are okay because, well, they're average and to be average those genes must have been good enough to live on for so many generations without major problems.
The difference is men don't lie about it. You don't have an entire male gender telling women "looks don't matter it's about giving us xyz, if you give us xyz, you'll have a guy in no time, no looks needed".
It's a dirty dirty tactic to get "xyz" for free". And then when people point out you lied you pull this "you're not owed anything". Maybe, but truth is something everyone is owed and entitled. Getting things through false promises is fraud.
Very insightful that this isn't a woman issue, but honestly as a woman living with a nice guy--calling is not enough! I'm a sensitive person, and there's nothing that would EVER replace him living with me. If I have a nightmare or have a bad day, he's there to hold me. If I need to laugh or get advice, I don't have to *hope* he can answer the phone because he's not in the shower or napping or something. He's just right there, for a hug or conversation, for anything... including sex.
That is the best thing and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
best comment in the whole section!
So at the end of the day the only thing that matters and will ever matter is attractiveness, therefore looksmax my brothers
It does clear some things up and reaffirms my desire to just stay single.
That's silly. There is nothing to lose if you try. Of course, sign a prenup.
Single is better for sure.
Weh panindigan mo yan ah
My issue has always been giving women too much credit, assuming they can logically see traits and pluses when I reality you have to spoon feed and babysit their fantasies .
The bigger complaint is society claims this isn’t the dynamics of male female interaction, when it is.
If people knew this growing up they’re have far less heartache. But many women don’t accept their own traits and won’t admit it so it becomes a shallow unfulfilling game of who can out manipulate who And its something only lesser people want to engage in
In this era of birth control and delayed adolescence, women will choose what's good for her as opposed to what's good for her family. We are less wise as a society in this time than in any other point in recorded civilization.
I learnt this the hard way. I wish I could go back in time where I was miserable because I had no clues why things happened the way they did.
You should have also discussed FEEDBACK-LOOP effects: The extremely attractive, high-value men notice that they are getting more attention from women and thus "scale down" their loyalty and niceness (because they CAN).
To be honest with you, I really don’t care anymore. I am a genuinely nice person and I don’t want a woman who doesn’t appreciate me. It really doesn’t matter. I think us guys need to quit being down on ourselves about damaged women not appreciating us.
Pretty much agree. I've got a lot of experience. I've led singles groups and really studied this stuff. I think what you're saying is true by and large but let's say the research you used might be a tad "politically correct".
Robin Norwood in her book "women who love too much" counselled many, many women who were ending up with the "bad guy" and getting abused while friend-zoneing the good guys. They had this instinct that caused them to find a bad guy and "If I love him enough he will change". Their own parents had dysfunctional marriages and so that, for them, was "the norm".
They were not falling in love properly. The "bad guy" was incredibly sexy to them. They could not even get aroused by a "good guy" (and I don't mean a "people-pleasing nice guy" which is something different, I mean a "normal dude" stable, dependable and all that). These relationships were "instant attraction", crazy emotion type which is not psychologically normal for women.
She counselled them to spend time with the good guy even if they were not initially attracted so they natural system (which is to fall in love slowly, "warming up like an ovan" in the words of John Gray) could come into effect. It worked. In time these women met great men and ended up in happy families.
The truth of what you say is because people that don't care are often good at making money and being successful. It's a lot easier to succeed in life dishonestly than honestly because you "cheat" to get further and it works. So yes, he has all the flashy stuff and the image. And he gets the girl because of the dynamics you have described.
I have my own theory though I've never been able to prove it. Women often mistake evil for strength.
I agree with you completely. Couldn't be expressed better
And I am writing this down "Women often mistake evil for strength"
You are right.
Where might I find one of these… ‘ovans’?
I wish someone explained this to me when I was 18 years old. I would have seen things in a completely different light. So many of these comments are from guys who have been hurt at some time. I guess I am one of them. I think most women want what our host had mentioned, but are willing to settle based on their level of beauty, confidence and grace.
I agree entirely. The disconnect occurs because men are gaslit into thinking niceness is actually important to women, often by women themselves. Their revealed preferences are vastly difference than their stated preferences. But most men learn that offering financial resources, height, and good looks are far more important than offering loyalty, intelligence, or niceness.
It's not gaslighting, it's true. The problem is, it's not ALL that matters by any means. There's so much more to a person than just niceness, and plenty of people can *fake* kindness until they get you where they want you, to the point where there's a backlash and some people end up thinking, "maybe I'll choose this person who's a jerk because they're probably not secretly an abuser or serial killer." If you come across as TOO nice, or *trying* to be nice, the anti-serial killer genes that have kept those women alive will kick in and they'll be unnerved. So the trick is to be nice in a casual, calm, non-obsessive way that says if she wants you to keep walking, you'd be happy to. Then she knows you're not a stalker.
@@WynneL No. This is female mental gymnastics used to virtue signal about their preferences not being just as shallow and predictable as men's.
Men usually think "niceness" is the more important trait because it is what "they" look for in women, and blindly think that's what women are attracted to men. In association with that most of the "nice guys" are being nice only for selfish reasons (The "Selfless for selfish reasons" saying). What they guy is doing is not being his authentic self: He is being needy and subtly manipulative. I've noticed too, a lot of "nice guys" or guys who claim "girls just want jerks, that's not me" are mega-control freaks and don't even realize it; They always want things their way, give her gifts and compliments wanting something in return, and feels "hurt" when she doesn't give what he quietly expected in return. Any seasoned women in dating (even a just turned 21 year old) can spot this quickly and her BS-detector will begin going off.
Not only are women not aware of what they're attracted to, but its an attempt at virtue signaling as well to essentially name a bunch of childish virtues and claim this is what they're attracted to in an attempt to paint them as being these righteous selectors. When in reality they are even more superficial and morally corrupt than men are
They're hormonially minded, not sober minded. They don't look in a panoramic lens, they look at what is only temporary. But just wait for the long haul.
A wise man once said, "Can't nobody fool you if you ain't payin' 'em no attention!" I'm a nice guy, but I've stopped caring what traits the majority of women value. I focus on me, and if, while I'm living my life, I meet someone who wants to live it with me, then maybe I'll let her in. In the meantime, I'm loving and raising my youngest daughter, and going my own way the rest of the time!
It is no wonder our ancestors mostly did not allow women to choose their own husbands. If left to their own peril, women will reward the kind of man that is not ideal for social order and collective unity.
I appreciate your videos for 2 things:
1. Being informative and backing it with facts!
2. For being respectful of the viewer's valuable time, by keeping your videos concise, to the point, in short and easy to watch 10 minute videos!
So, thank you for that!
*If you want to save your life and happiness, read my post:*
*This video is GASLIGHTING - it's not even logical - he is saying that women choose assholes because they're good-looking or make lots of money - but REALITY says differently - most of the assholes women choose are ugly drug-addicts and deadbeat bums that don't work a job or work low wage jobs - and also he can't use a fake "scientific" excuse - because the majority of assholes that women choose physically beat them and potentially murder them - Google it and see more - the Doc is making up excuses that have nothing to do with logic or reality - the real reason is that YES, women DO choose assholes - it's not some "coincidence" - they choose assholes that will treat them badly - even if the assholes are ugly or unhealthy - **_because_** 99% of women are the byproduct of a low IQ female having a baby with a douchebag male - and then their offspring is another low IQ female that has a baby with a douchebag male - and the process genetically repeats itself inter-generationally - 99% of females are genetically-predisposed to having a low IQ and because of that they are masochistic and seek defective males that will hurt them on purpose - the goal if you're a nice guy is to find one of the 1% of females that is INTELLIGENT - that is why they are so hard to find - but this Doc is gaslighting men - probably because he knows if he says the truth RUclips will take his channel down.* 💡👈💯
You've explained this in a way that has completely shifted my world view...thank you.
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This episode builds on the conclusions of my previous episode, "Women want it all." Today I'll be tackling the age-old complaint of all also-rans: nice guys finish last. The flip side of this is the analogous complaint that women love jerks. However, it only looks like women choose jerks from the perspective of nice guys. The fact of the matter is that this isn't entirely true, and I'll explain why using the results of psychological research. And since men typically understand business better than they understand women, I'll use a professional framework to illustrate my points.
Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
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Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
What constitutes of providing an "interesting lifestyle"? I feel like what I consider fun and what they consider fun don't line up which is why I'm constantly referred to as boring
I really appreciate how direct and brutally honest you are. Its so helpful after you get over the initial anger. Thank you for the real info man!
Very interesting points. Thank you Doctor for this video. I'm myself a nice guy. I think also that nice guys may look hypocrite, false, weak or too passive, while the asshole may look more natural, active, and stronger. Plus all that was said. Also if you sell yourself for too low, people may think that your value is too low and that they deserve better than you. They will abuse you and throw you.
a nice guy that doesnt display ability to be dangerous, is just a doormat. Its a big difference.
For those of us that remember life before cellphones/internet in the schools, being a nice guy actually worked because women’s hypergamy was limited to whomever you allowed to enter your social sphere.
Infinite scrolling triggers women’s hypergamy, capturing and programming them to believe that there is always something better coming up next.
Correction; a friend corrected me recently. Apparently, I wasn’t a “nice” guy due to fact I would fight the ‘badboy’. So either by fear or respect, the ‘badboy’ would know to stay away from what was mine. This made me a ‘good dude’, which does have a niche in the dating pool.
Well, George Gilder exposed this phenomenon in his book "Men and Marriage" back in the 1980's. He used different words, but said basically the same thing. Social spheres were large enough back then for the most attractive women to choose assholes. I was a "nice guy" loser back then. But then I read that book.
I'm disgusted with social media age
You must be joking, right? I've been attending high school between 2006 and 2009, way before anyone dreamed of a smartphone and constant Internet access, and it already was hard for me in that environment to look for a girlfriend. Especially when one class was totally comprised of jock/bully types (soccer hooligans, most of them, at that). Social media and dating apps makes this even worse for guys like me.
Nah, they always went after the bad boys, even in high school
The niche for nice guys is mostly with fat single moms.
If you are ever going to write a book, I suggest the title to be "It is what it is"!
It is what it is, my dude
I've heard this argument countless times and the fact for me remains the same, even though women are with assholes for what they offer and not who they are it doesn't make it any better.
Assholes are assholes because they don't care for the wellbeing of others (hers included). And not only does she know all this but she'd also be willing to turn a blind eye (God forbid even assist in his acts of barbarity) so long as there is power and provisions in it for her.
She's basically just exploiting the asshole to obtain provisions off him, and also because he's an asshole she likely doesn't even love him, because if she did that goes to say alot about the kind of person she is, which is likely a horrible person herself.
So, either way, in choosing the asshole she's confirmed whether it's using him for what he gives till there's nothing left, or she actually loves him for the dreadful man he is, she herself is a dreadful person.
I am sorry but there is no way of rationalising this down to anything acceptable, innocent, or good; not unless we're willing to turn our backs on every moral we have of not only being better kinder more loving people, but also in making the world a better, kinder more loving place to live...
I don't want to believe it but maybe community is right, maybe women are fundamentally bad.
The world is becoming a seriously sader place...
My view is similar to this. Part of what seems to make some men attractive is precisely because they don't care about the women and only want sex, some to the degree that they've sculpted their whole personality around how to game women. And yet we're supposed to become like this? It's psychopathic. Men need to be able to be decent and have the reasonable opportunity to meet a decent woman. That's the only way life, and society can work. Otherwise we lose our own souls in the process. I think it's insane to call a decent normal guy a 'nice guy' as if he's a loser. And by the way, I only think it's possible to change within certain bounds.
Basically every religion, philosopher, and every wise man from every culture throughout history says that women are bad. Giving women power and allowing them to dictate society will always end up ruining everything because women are fundamentally emotional creatures. They have little to no rationality, reasoning, objectivity, planning, or morality. Women are emotional and their sense of right and wrong are entirely based on how they "feel" at the moment. When women are allowed to choose leaders and control society they create leaders and institutions that become like them: Emotionally driven, unstable, reactive, irrational, illogical, and ultimately immoral.
This is why female led societies never could compete with male lead societies. And as the modern Western world has adopted promiscuity and allowed women to dictate society, the West will inevitably fail.
Eve in the garden. Thru her sin we all die. Now everyone suffers as society is enabled and out of order. Talking about it won’t change anything. This is spiritual and requires big actions.
Doctor, when I was a kid back in the early 1960s, there was an amazing TV Show called Fractured Fairy Tales. It always featured a story with a moral or psychologic message that humorously slapped you upside the head. You are really excellent at painting a picture that is truly epic. You have a way of illuminating problems and situations that is incredibly unique, and highly intelligent. Give your channel time to grow Doctor, because you have a true gift which in this day and age is priceless. As you are aware nothing happens overnight, but having watched some of your early videos I can attest to the fact your are growing more comfortable, and confident in your delivery. Thats great, because you Sir are truly extraordinary at this!
So well said, I second that 🙏🤍
Thanks for the love, brother.
@@maria.1313 And, I'll "third" that. I made a similar observation on this forum a while back. In addition to "the gift," praised above, it also takes guts to buck the prevailing wisdom / political correctness common within his profession. As a long-time viewer, I can attest that these daily words of wisdom are getting gutsier ...
Agreed. No one has quite struck the chord properly, despite saying similar things. This way is juuuuuust right.
@@maria.1313 yes
Excellent way of breaking it down 🙌
Another reason a lot of women date “assholes” is men that have the desired traits are more likely to be disagreeable and confident to the point of cocky. Successful men are not people pleasures. They go their own way and aren’t afraid to step on toes.
Well done. And yes, a first regarding the explanation. You have truly distinguished yourself...several times, this being one of them. Thank you.
That was actually quite an eye opening video for me. You analogy with the job market is spot on i think.
I just found your channel and I am happy to see that you bring some fresh insights into the gender debate. I am well know blogger in the german men's rights sphere for years and I am very disappointed to see that 99% of all available content is only copied and repeated over theses years. I can assure you, that you present new stuff in many videos and I would really like to encourage you to continue with your mission.
I partially agree.. I don't believe that kindness is a "nice guy" trait; going through life without boundaries, always expecting something in return for being "NICE" and being a "yes man", is. There's honesty in being genuinely kind.
As a woman I agree..
This really puts things in perspective! Thanks!
Excellent presentation. Thanks.
Very well said King. Most men actually listen to what women see versus what they actually sell. Just subscribed, notifications bell on!!!
This is a Super Great Video! - Excellent analogies.
Great content Orion!
Great video and analogy.
Makes a lot of sense.
This is the best explanation I've ever seen for why what women say they want and actually go for is so different. They do want those things...it's just not a priority. The job analogy is perfect.
For the same reason men invent society’s morals and women tear them down.
Subscribed! Hope your channel grows. Binging your videos, so intelligent!
Intelligence being thrown out is really a strange one to me, as it's a huge factor in how much a guy is capable of providing resources for a woman- lmao Loyalty definitely being the next strangest thing to throw out.
I guess the reality is that perhaps guys with the worst attitudes or temperaments also happen to be the ones most likely to hit the gym for aesthetics or the ones that were born attractive never had to develop a likeable personality.
Yes you are right. I would select the first company to grow, because I willing to grow. In the second company I will be exploited. Slave to the wage. It is the 3 times higher wage, he has to use to attract workers.
@@beowulf_of_wall_stthey think they know everything or too much to be told otherwise
This is where it gets subjective. I will say, it's more of being intelligent in something, does not have to be in what interests her, etc. It provides that sense of security.
Nice bosses are often nice because they don't have a lot of employees, the more employees they have the more distant and impersonal they will become because you're "just another employee".
I've worked for small companies and big companies and I completely understand why a lot of men with options aren't nice. My guess is that the nice guys who have a lot to offer settle quite quickly because they don't want to be on the market too long, so the men who prefer to have a lot of partners stay on the market longer and skew perceptions.
It's like men believing that every woman has been with hundreds of men because they and their friends have slept with several women that boast these numbers, but it's simply because these women interact with more men that more men will believe that all women are like these few women.
The key is men listen to what women SAY they want, and that road leads to misery.
“Nice guys” hear a woman complain “Why can’t I find a nice guy… like you!” and act on it, not realizing the unspoken qualifier of “that I think is smoking hot.”
Excellent content. I’m 58 and have been married for 19 years. I have worked through this (my three dominant characteristics are loyalty, kindness, and intelligence) and because I have, I’ve increased my income and influence. I used to struggle in relationships with women (no surprise there), so the self-work has been long and difficult, yet it is fulfilling to be better. Even though I love my wife, I can’t say I’m UNhappy when women in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s flirt with me now. It was surprising when it started to happen; however, now I know why…and I’m OK with it.
This was a very fresh perspective on this concept! It explains a lot to me. I am in fact a nice, intelligent, compassionate, and communicative guy... However, I am likely of average attractiveness, and am definitely an average earner. It makes sense to me that my soft-traits ARE desirable to women, but NOT without also being accompanied by those other more quantitative qualities. I also think it speaks to why women want relationships, and it is not -primarily- for emotional companionship, but more for lifestyle and security. Nice guys like me could hem-haw over that indefinitely, or, just understand it, accept it, and adapt to it to whatever degree it matters to us personally.
Really appreciated this video!
The best thing any man can do is say no to a woman. By saying no, you gain her respect. If she responds with an insult, cut her off.
Facts!!! You get women
That is the best explanation for why women chase chad that I have ever heard.
Except I’ve seen broke dusty ab usive Chads living off the female
This is pure gold. Thank you
Best video yet! Keep up the good work!
What this tells me is that women that get cheated on have nobody to blame but themselves. Maybe they should have put a little more weight in the "loyalty" category.
There is no evidence that leftover guys cheat any less than successful ones. They are simply not successful and they blame women for their own failures in life. ;-)
Imagine. A woman is willing to dispense with intelligence, loyalty and kindness. It boggles my mind. I spend my whole life trying to be intelligent, loyal and kind. Pretty much sums up the state of affairs.
exactly. women are absolutely illogical creatures
Please focus on being intelligent,loyal and kind if that's you're true strength. Developing the other traits will take far more effort wnd what you will get won't even be worth the effort you put.
Only If that's your true strength... otherwise you're going to just be a societal ghost. Useless, non provider, non protector for the State & Women.
Be confident and decisive and tough and do not do uh or ums or weak adverbs in your speech. She will safe to let her follow you and take the lead. That is female sexuality in a nutshell. Not to be a controlling jerk but for her to be nurturing and family oriented with her kids and not have to worry about money, safety, or life problems. The garbage disposal, the weird creep at the bar on your date who stares at her, and savings account are just magically taken care of and work. That is what turns her on.
Saw your interview with Rich Cooper. You’re a great blend of psychology and red pill lens. Everything you say is well put and eloquent.
Very good advice!! I like and appreciate your helpful channel!! :)
The analogies are very often spot on in this channel. Really helps explain things in a more relatable manner. Good job doc.
These are simply red pill realities that are presented in a more palatable way for normies to accept. Nothing wrong with that, as it helps reach more men. These truths have been spoken for decades in RP spaces that are demonized by the gynocentric narrative as they wake up men from their delusional usury.
However, later in life it seems to me that those factors, kindness, loyalty and emotional availability come into play. Unfortunately by that time the men have either given up, MGTOW, or adopt the "bad boy" mantra. Hence older women's hue and cry for the scarcity of "good men".
Agree. I've had two older women tell me my kindness and high EQ (their words) are what atrracted them to me. I'm a decent looking guy but these women would have been great looking in their prime.
Many thanks for this eloquent explanation ❤
Well said I like the analogy!
In my late 20’s, I decided to reinvent myself. I saved my money, I worked out, jogged, and lost weight. I bought a new truck. I also decided to become a jerk. There was a hot woman who played volleyball with us but she had a boyfriend who was a doctor. I used a strategy that was recommended by a friend. If you want to date a hot woman, take her not so hot friend on a great date. So I asked out her friend and I took her to a concert inside a theme park.
That really got the attention of not just one hot woman but all of the single women were now looking at me differently and I scored big time. I lost all interest in that first hottie and was dating several other women who had other attributes that I found attractive. That original hottie tried to make a play for me at a party but I wasn’t interested. She was a little too hypergamous for me.
i'd say this is correct, women's prioritization on physical appearance cannot be understated. The typical women would rather have a tall, handsome fella who works a mediocre job over a unattractive, short, high income, high emotional intelligence man. It's just how it is. Men are the same, they go for the cute barista over middle-aged career women etc...
Very true for some reason some people can't understand or accept the fact that physical appearance matters.
@@adamg6711 they can't accept it because it's not something you can easily change
Men and woman look for different things out of long-term (marriage) partners. A high-value women is looking for a man with financial resources equal or above hers, emotional depth, lifestyle opportunities (Does he provide fun and interesting things to do?), and of course, genetic compatibility markers like height, weight & race. A low-value woman or damaged woman (that you guys seem to be concerned with) all bets are off. Men don’t care about financial resources. Even if the woman makes more money than him, she will rarely share it equally in the relationship like he is expected to. Likewise, he does not expect her to plan dates, trips or vacations. He is mainly interested in genetic factors like age and most importantly (Is she hot?), Is she a good person (Does having a low body count matter? Likely). Would she make a good mother to my future offspring? Could I show her off to my friends, family and business relationships? Looks matter to both sexes, but men and women value many different “secondary” factors that will determine if a person is the “right choice” for them. I really learned a lot reading all your comments.
That metaphor is on point man
The problem is that most men never get a fair shake because they either had an absent or a weak father. Men are natural problem solvers. Give them the rules, and it's game on. Men raised by women however, are at a significant disadvantage. Their own mother will give them a false list of things to optimize for. By the time these boys turn into men, it may be too late for them to ever sort out the error. That is why red-pill content is so valuable. There are a some men who seem to see the truth from the very beginning. These men are truly blessed.
Don't even understand why any men want to be perceived as nice. We can be strong, dangerous and afford to be kind when we choose to but without caring what anyone else thinks.
I'm a salesman. My entire job literally depends on what other people think of me.
@@petelee2477 I sympathise
Women before internet usually had only a small pool of guys to choose from which may not have included a single “high value male.
Once Again. Mind Blown. Thanks
It's true. I was always in the "friend zone", or "you're really nice" or "I think of you as my brother." After years and years of going nowhere, I got pissed. Since I was invisable to women anyway, I was done putting forth the effort. I started to ignore all women. I wasn't an asshole, I just focused on other things. After about a week, I noticed women were coming up to me! What's weird was the more I ignored them, the more determined they became to gain my attention. WELL??? Yep, I'm married with two kids and a pet bunny..
Nice guys smell of neediness.....you changed your cologne. Bravo!!!!
I wouldn't trust the bunny though. Work on that....😁
No one has explained this better than you!!
Look Doc, I hear what you're saying, but I also think women do seriously want to be treated like trash.
Basically be in shape physically and financially and be a kind human being!
Being kind is irrelevant. Just be good looking.
@@jawi499rrelevant to who? Girls? Maybe but who cares. Be kind for your own morals and values. Be the other things as well though (physically fit, financially secure.)
yesss!!!
@@jawi499 Not true bud... A woman worth keeping has self respect r... she will eventually leave you if you act like a dick. You were probably left by a girl for a dick. Stay strong brother! What goes around comes around.
@@jawi499 no need to be kind, but actually has a strong value. A belief and values that you stand up for.
i was a handheldless kissless virgin until I was 27. Some day I had a shit/stressful day at work and got into an argument with my mom on the phone, so family issues on top of it. I had a date that day and I didn't wanna cancel (cause nice guy, I respect her time and agreements), so I showed up but I was visibly pissed and dismissive. I was quite angry and unenthusiastic, didn't talk much and I ended the date early. After the date I felt even more like garbage cause I wasn't myself and I was a dick to a random girl who did nothing wrong.
But next day, to my surprise she messages me TWICE that she wants to meet again, I'm like ok, you wanna meet in town? She says "nah, just come to my place". And uh...we've been together for almost a year now.
Tried to be a good/nice guy all my life but the one time I was a total asshole it worked instantly. Women are attracted to asshole personalities, man. They just are.
That was amazing 🤩
I respectfully disagree... there are women who go for "bad boys" who have nothing to offer materially and make them suffer. I know such a woman who had a relationship like that: she was more financially successful than him, she was hardworking, polite and respectful, he cheated on her, made her suffer and she returned to him. While at the same time, I know women who have or "had" the right package with a great dude, respectful guy who could provide and was a gentleman to them, and whom they left.
What you said is at least to my experience, half true, but there are many women who go for guys who offer a big fat zero while the benefits are elsewhere. Men do it too by the way.
I knew this but unconsciously I still couldn't accept it until seeing this video. Sometimes you have to hear it from someone else for it to sink in. 😅
Dude, you made me realise how modern prostitution works😮
The “big problem” with attracting women through babboy behaviours, is how do you initially attract the women in the first place. Being mean to a girl before she’s gotten a chance to know you hasn’t ever worked for me. I can’t remember the last time I was rude to a chick and she wanted to sleep with me because of that. This knowledge is what’s missing in the dating manosphere. As an example, dating gurus always say “ignore her and she will want you” but that simply isn’t true. There are TONS of women at my gym that I give no time or energy to, who’s general direction I almost never glance in, who I’m completely uninterested in and NOT ONE has ever shown interest in me because I was ignoring them. Now the thing is, I know theoretically how to attract a woman via ignoring her, but it would be nice to get a dating guru to thoroughly break down the process.
You have to be attractive first to get their attention, everything else comes afterwards
@@flustercuck770 exactly
thats what we mean by saying "go to the gym" at first. BE attractive physically (body, cloth, lifestyle ...) and THEN you can apply those methods
Not the other way around my friend
Bababooey
Your closing comment about women choosing "good looking, high-earning, interesting and exciting lifestyle providers" was on point. However, hookup culture prevails for young women, frequently choosing Mr. Right Now over Mr. Right. If she's hot, she can slide into the DMs of a celebrity or athlete and be flown out for a weekend. If she's less hot, she can still get with those hot guys on Instagram or at the club, the Chads who all the girls are attracted to. Nice Guys (also called Average Frustrated Chumps) are so behind on the value spectrum that they have no chance. Attractive women are spoiled with choice and have a disqualification paradigm, categorizing men as Losers, Lovers, Providers or Friends. A Nice Guy isn't likely to pass her Loser screening, and at best qualifies for Provider Guy if he's generous with his wallet, or Friend Zone Guy if he's generous with his time and support.
It sounds like you're implying that men don't sleep around... 🤨
Gotta side eye that one.
Men have been sleeping around for centuries. Is it a problem if women are doing it now? We learned it from the best.
@@shellylen4582 A small percentage of men sleep around a lot. A more significant percentage of men wish they could sleep around, but aren't attractive enough to pull that off. By age 30, most women have plenty of sexual experience and most men very little. Women only compare themselves to the players, not the invisible average dudes they completely ignore.
@@northernguy8860
Please provide statistical sources.
This helped clarify things, thanks.
Very true; any guy can act nice, caring, sweet and sensitive, but it takes a more effort to obtain wealth, to gain muscles, be confident in yourself etc. Even if you don't act like a nice guy but have the positive traits women tend to want, you are going to be prioritized over someone in with the opposite attributes as you.