Stop Being A Nice Guy Or You Will Regret It | Matthew Hussey Motivation
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- Опубликовано: 6 мар 2022
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Don't invest in someone based on how much you like them, invest on based on how much they invest in you. This statement hits hard.
yes!
Much respect in this comment, just remember that investment goes both ways if you’re not investing in them in their eyes they may not invest in you in a way that you see it. I believe in investment and communication and truth and the ability to have difficult conversation with compassion and understanding.
this is something I learned a couple weeks ago with a girl. I tried a little too hard and things weren't escalating. Since she didn't put in as much as I did, it's a telling sign that things wouldn't work out.
That's great if you really like her too.
I tried too hard with this one guy then he turned sour:( so never again would I try so hard.
_Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option._
-- Maya Angelou
THIS was a hard lesson to learn.
@@Chris-0113
Amen....
I learned that on dating sites.
@@hydra1854
You 'swiped it' in other words....
@@atticstattic. Sounds like you're calling me a hypocrite, and I get that. But, no, its nots the same. And if you don't get that, you're either still in your ho phaze, or have very little experience on dating sites. Either way, Good look brother.
“What is the secret of success? Right decisions. How do you make right decisions? Experience. How do you gain experience? Wrong decisions.”
― Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
Fact
@@nataliegilbert9122 Yes
wisdom
Nailed it
Wow. This hit me hard. Thank you!
“Fighting harder won’t save you, thinking clearly will” 🤝
don't work harder work smarter
To be your best version, you need to feel pain, loneliness, have bad days, cried of impotence, but if you don’t give up, life become easier.
Stop waiting for tomorrow
Truely correct. So many of us do relate.
Life doesnt become any easier, we just get stronger and more resilient
This made me think of the person I’m seeing
@@krispy770 think I'd rather it be a tad easier lmao but I agree with you
Guts theme starts playing
Anyways it's true
To live the life you must struggle
We live in a society that teaches men how to treat women, but doesn't teach women how to treat men.
The amount of self-entitled young women in this world is TOO DAMN HIGH!
An amazing and frank true. Valuable bravery you had on sharing it
i totally dissagree! I see plenty of women/girls being taught how they should be treated by men! 'he should be ready to do everything for you because you exist!' is being repeated to death pretty much at this point to any girl that is willing to open her ears.
I wasn't taught how to treat women. I was taught how not to treat women.
Whilst women are taught to have zero accountability by using emotions to escape any critique.
Someone is bitter lol
@@SYSLOVE someone is entilted & felt the pinch, lol. Your games are being exposed. Haha
"Some people are going to reject you simply because you shine too bright for them but that's ok Keep Shining"
Bulls*** you just not that attractive for them thats why
Shining ❤️
copium
No. If you are constantly rejected you are probably the problem
Is this a sunburn analogy?
If you treat a woman like a celebrity, she will treat you like a fan …💯💯💯
the other way round is better. if not just let it be.
It sucks because a man feeling comfortable with a woman is viewed as boring or weak
You only treat a woman like a queen if she treats you like a king!
Equality
Some of you are confused.
@@pierrebernard7665
Well. Considering that neb are often the ones investing more into females than the other way around, yes, she should be the one to treat you like a king first, then you reciprocate
@@susuilu
How so? 🤔
@@pierrebernard7665
So how do relationships work, then? Enlighten me. If you don't invest into your partner in some way, then...they're not a partner, they're just a roommate at that point.
I think you're looking at this from an emotional standpoint, not a logical one
"We need to know our partner is committed to their own growth." That is so powerful.
Yessss!!
Kind of but not really. Men and women grow but in different ways. That needs to be recognized and it’s not here, which will always lead to a failed relationship.
@@dr.winstonsmith That's a good point but I don't think this video was suggesting we grow in equal ways. For me, I simply need to know that my partner is invested in their own growth. Complacency is an all-too common death knell for any relationship.
@@dr.winstonsmith That's a good point but I don't think this video was suggesting we grow in equal ways. For me, I simply need to know that my partner is invested in their own growth. Complacency is an all-too common death knell for any relationship.
Now that's what I'm talking about
Don't be a placeholder or a doormat. Be self-reliant , self-sufficient. Be responsible for your own happiness. Love yourself.
I have seen this with older generations (my parents included). They go to work and are not constantly chatting to one another which gives them time to miss each other. By the time they get home in the evening they are delighted to see one another. They have tons to talk about because they where not constantly talking throughout the day. My moms face is priceless when my dad says "you wont believe what happened in the office today" 😅😅. We don't even wait to get home, we text our partners as "this thing" occurs
Yea, nowadays, communication is constant, it doesn't let things to sink...
This was my marriage back then and we was making more time together.it doesn't end well you get tired of each other.
I tried this in my marriage. Didn’t work. Got divorced. Not because this concept doesn’t work though. I still believe it works. But both people have to embrace it to make it work. Missing someone has a lot of power to change your attitude about them when you see them. Like coming home to a dog that’s wagging their tale and jumping around. It excites and brings you together.
@@jasonroberts9243 Indeed, both partners have to communicate with the same intensity.
To all the hustlers out there chasing their dreams. Remember this: it’s a long term process so don’t quit. I believe in you. Success is given to those who don’t quit. Keep going. LETS GOOOO!
Success isn’t given it’s earned. But yes keep grinding!!!🤙🏼
@@jick7407 love that!
thanks LeBeouf
Lets be real. No suger coating it.
Reality is, in modern day, life is gotten fast paced and more people have become self centered narcissists. A narcissistic society (lovers of self) can't recognize it because it's all about themselves. Caught up in their own lies of backwards thinking.
The very few have the intelligent insight to see this reality as it really is. It's sad that society has blinded it self from truth.
Yes brother! hustle grind never sleep grind follow dream and hustle live best life never quit! 💯💯🔥🔥
I don’t regret, I find peace in the time I have alone. It’s quite strange when I first realized it, but once I discovered my passions for writing, music, language learning, and traveling. I gotta say, I love the world. If I meet someone, I meet someone. No rush, no stress. Never been happier.
I feel the exact same way. And it's so freeing.
That’s a good mindset to have
So true.
Good man. What languages are you learning ?
@@alexanderfield3935 currently Greek and Dutch. Most of my family/ ancestry are both.
This is pure GOLD!! I wish I knew this during my early 20s would have saved me from a lot of mental suffering. But it's never too late brothers. Feel secure in knowing that there is always a fresh start whenever you decide for yourself. Become the best version of yourself!
Sending love and positive vibes to all!!
Be a good guy but Don't accept disrespect. Don't fear losing them because you demand respect. Either they respect you without pretending or you leave them
I agree
Don't be a nice guy. Be a good guy.
Best comment I’ve read today.
💯 man, was going to say exactly this. ‘Nice guys’ aren’t nice, they’re manipulative and think they will get rewarded for acting nice and then turn completely when they don’t get what they think they are owed.
Good guys treat themselves and others with respect and are nice to people because that’s who they are, not because they expect something in return for it.
Good people Still get used by everyone else even if you are "good" so do you just expect good people to just take it and move on or?
@@adambaker6794 Being a good guy is about having respect for yourself. Not being a pushover.
@@joshua5857 ahh so it's more of a difference of definition at this point that's where my confusion stems
I am 22, dating has been nothing but toxic to me. I had one woman in my life that was genuinely nice but we drifted apart because we had to move to opposite ends of the country. She showed me that its not worth to push through the sludge of toxicness. To feel empty and alone. Just be single, discover yourself. Learn what you want to do discover what actually makes you happy. If someone comes along that wants to join you on your ride so be it. But you got to be happy first. Not second. You are a King and your Queen will come eventually
I feel like social media exposes us to greater people who can command greater admiration than we most likely could feel towards the common people around us. This begs the question: can a "queen" still notice us average people since everyone is so desensitized to feelings of admiration/adoration?
You as a male shouldnt get involved with a women until you've 30 and achieved something.
Listen to fresh and fit, Rollo....etc
This! Average looking 20 something yearold chicks have as many or more options than a alpha chad. How many options do you think a pretty 21 year-old physical prime chick has? Endless! Guys dont hit their peak til after 30. Reason being, our looks mean very little comparison to a chicks. We start out with no value, and have to earn. Women are born with value and lose it with age and poor life choices.
If I can go back 10 years with the knowledge I have today, I would be a high value millionare. Instead, I'm a good looking 30 something with a weak career and limited options. Chase money, not women.
I am not happy just alone a lot. I’ve had 3 marriages. One passed away. I crave good connection with respect and care. I give out quality love and like to receive it. No shame in being real
@@robertrichards4930 I wish I knew that 40 years ago🙁
Let's not forget that the biggest payouts in the markets don't come from great performances but rather it's great promotions. Stay invested, diversification for streams of incomes is very important.
I urge everyone to start somewhere now no matter how small, this is literally the time for that, forget material things, don't get tempted,i became more better the moment i realized this.
You're right, but any Investment without a proper guidance and experience is suicidal.
Profitable Investment one can do now convenantly at this moment are.
: Estate
: forex
: Stocks market
Forex trading is really profitable, investing in it now will be the wisest thing to do especially with the current rise in bitcoin.
Obviously often times we just look for what to invest in and usually encounter these problems. It's either the money is too huge for what I want to invest or it could require more than expected.
Already the introduction rings so true to me. Mothers and female family members train young boys to be such simps, nice and courteous; but simps. Maybe they don't intend that but the results are staggeringly bad to the point that it comes off as resentment when in young adulthood you realize it's terrible strategy. It's one of the reasons why I believe boys need a father figure to teach them REAL life lessons.
The previous generation screwed over the world by trying to get rid of "toxic masculinity". Unfortunately, this led to a generation of unmasculine men. And it turns out masculine men are needed as fathers for society to not implode.
Every family has a person, who breaks the chain of poverty. I hope that you will be that person🤲
I'm claiming and speaking today that I will, God bless🤞🏿
🖤
Going back to school boys.
Chain breaker
nope. lots of poor families out there
It’s a horrible situation for men to be raised by mothers alone…. been there and it took a lot to change my ways
Facts. I left my abusive home life at 17, as soon as I had graduated HS, and I haven’t looked back. But a decade later I’m still discovering breaks and bends in myself that I didn’t know existed. Some people should never be parents.
Yeah, my dad died when I was 14, and now at 33 I still can't get a girl to save my life. One crappy relationship a decade ago, still haven't figured it out.
You're definitely not wrong.
@@jacobk5451 my story is similar, left home with 18, no HS diploma, no money, got a creepy job at a fast food restaurant. Moved to a sales job, finished career parallel HS, later college, moved up in ranks and today I’m far ahead in career & money. However, there is the feeling I missed out so much in life because of bad upbringing. My mother is a train wreck, even today being 75… 😵💫😵💫😵💫
@@danieldpa8484 I definitely feel for you. It helps to remember that we're lucky, and at least we get to experience those freedoms and challenges as our own persons. I know my mom will never be as happy as me, and while I'm still struggling, at least I'm doing much better than her. Just how I've come to look at it over time.
Funny this video talked about entitlement of blaming your partner instead of looking at yourself. And here you are, blaming your MOTHER for you personal relationship issues. Unbelievable. How arrogant and insecure. It's on YOU.
The problem is not with a men or women, it is the human being who don't realize or values what they have and once they lose it, then nothing can be gained.
This video is so phenomenal, how it was portrayed, how it was narrated, the tone, the word choice...wow...please teach me how to make such amazing videos
Focus on improving yourselves my kings.
Always strive to be an Alpha! Signs Of An Alpha Male - How To Be An Alpha Man
ruclips.net/video/vPCfEGIc834/видео.html
In my opinion being a naturally masculine male has been trampled and beaten down on, even when it comes to sexual attraction and as a result we felt wrong and lost for being male. I used to ask myself "what does it mean to be a man?" A lot of us has been conditioned since we were infants to be the overly generous "nice guy" and some of us are naturally like that. We listened to a lot of women say be generous, kind, treat her with the utmost respect and so on, which brought us to being nice or I should say overly accommodating and we all know how that turns out.
I think we need to make ourselves our own mental point of origin by putting our selves first and give some but not all. Some women have an entitled attitude and tbh it's gotten worse due to social media, us guys need to respect ourselves and not hold back our wants and expectations. If she doesn't to share with you what you want to share with her, be prepared to walk away goes the other way around too.
I totally agree with you brother. Feminism has allowed women with twisted mind behave ridiculously and its accepted with todays society's norm. And some women nowadays are just beautiful on the outside. - But my quest is over as im engaged with a wonderful woman who has respected every aspect of my individuality and I couldnt help but reciprocate it even more to her. - I hope you find that wonderful Queen who will treat you as her King! God speed to you man
I thought I was the only one who thought like this
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Eh, honestly I think there's a problem with that whole line of thinking. It's not about being a 'nice guy', but about being a good person. If you hold open doors because you're being considerate to whoever comes after you, that's a very different thing than holding open a door because the next one through is a woman. And, if you're doing either of those things to broadcast what a nice guy you are - and not because you like it when people do that for you - then you're not offering anyhting, you're demanding it: "Look at me, I held open a door for you. Aren't I great?"
No, you're not.
All the 'nice guy' behaviours should have nothing to do with sex. They should not be manipulative or trying to get you something. Do them if you want to, and if it's a good thing to do. Or don't, but don't change your behaviour for women because they're women. It might be shocking but women are also humans, their brains work just as well as mens' do - albeit they're conditioned a little differently most of the time. So, treat her like a person. You're horny for her now, but you won't always be, and you still need to be good together then. You need to actually like each other, admire something more than each others' bodies and not have it based on some kind of code of conduct about how gentlemen should treat ladies.
@@tSp289 whoever you are my friend you've got some wisdom. I appreciate the comment
To be honest I’ve been listening to this guys speak for the last few days and emotionally he has me truly thinking
Actually love is enough when you're definition of love is commitment and do what's best for your partner and they do the same
I've learnt to just be yourself. Be confident about that. Be nice but don't let them walk over you. And don't be a simp 😂 A little toxicity is good. Too much is bad.
Dont be toxic because you think women like toxic. It breaks my heart when I hear men become toxic because that's what they think women want..... Good people are rare...Women and men both should be themselves... If you need to force or overdo it...odds are it is not going to last....
Being toxic is never good. Just don’t be afraid to hurt her feelings.
@@ms.flawed that right there is the one
@@ms.flawed A lot of women are attracted to toxic men. They always complain about not getting any good guys but will never date them. It's a true fact and you can't deny
I’ve _learned_ to focus on me.
Never underestimate the strength of a man who can deny himself his greatest pleasure, for the betterment of his future. Never underestimate a man who lost everything and everyone and rebuilt himself better than before without anyone's help. Never underestimate the man who knows he is both of psychopathic and empathetic tendencies and uniquely integrates all of it into every decision he makes.
Yet most of the man underestimates woman by complaining them. Women are better.
@@vishnuk67 Women aren't special
@@vishnuk67 A true man doesn't need a Woman and focuses on his money and purpose. Women can buzz off
@@spookyshark29 same goes for women. A true woman dosent need a man either. And the thing is they never complaints or cry about it. Unlike men crying and complaining about women most of the time.
@@vishnuk67 ruclips.net/video/XzxW7oCvkaA/видео.html
Say that again?
Two years ago I went through a break up with a long term partner of 6.5 years and over the last two years of dating and interacting with women I started to notice two certain trends.
1 - Not all but very consistently women said that they wanted to a 'Nice guy' or someone who is 'nice' or a 'guy bestfriend' as a boyfriend or someone to date.
2 - They were all fearful of emotionally or physically abusive partners, many of them commented on past experiences that hurt them that they never wanted to have happen.
I really think that has something to do with this whole 'nice guy' theme.
What is a nice guy? The furthest thing away from an abusive monster. Someone who is completely incapable of doing anything harmful or dangerous, really someone who is completely harmless, someone who will never hurt them ever.
And that's what many men become because that's what they hear what women want.
So now there's just heaps of nice guys simps everywhere and I was one of them.
And just like Mathew said I got absolutely walked over by women because really if you're completely harmless (and it sounds harsh but lots of men need to hear it and I myself needed to hear it) you're weak and you don't have anything to offer women.
And women are never going to choose you if you have nothing to offer, they are biologically designed to choose a strong a partner
A strong man is what they will choose because that's what will provide the best support and structure for them when they need it.
That's something that I learnt that hard way.
But once I learned that and started angling my life and my energy towards that it was absolute night and day the difference in experience I had with women.
The last 12 months has been really eye opening, I've never gotten this much attention ever before.
But the funny thing is is that I don't really care about it or let it phase me.
Once I started my journey on becoming a strong man I learned that it never had anything to do with women.
It had to do with bettering myself and conquering myself.
I started bjj, boxing, kickboxing and started going to therapy and being really consistent with it and working on all my past traumas and life difficulties and I stopped drinking alcohol.
I am a completely different person now.
All of my growth took effort time and patience.
If you're a young man and wanting to make change I highly recommend the following.
- Stop drinking alcohol or at the very least stop heavy drinking
- Get yourself into some sort of strength training routine
- You absolutely must get yourself into a martial art, I highly recommend Bjj and boxing.
- If you have serious underlying issues/past traumas that you've never delt with, they will show up in your life and they will absolutely show up on your relationships. Do the best thing to help yourself and seek support from a trained professional that will help you understand yourself.
All of these things will be hard but you have to understand that personal growth is not for free.
You can do it.
There is a difference between a nice guy and a good guy, the nice guy tends to be ingenuine with his nice acts, which he does for validation and because he thinks its what they want, he panders with little boundaries. A good guy is doing good things not just for them but for himself, but has boundaries and doesn't get walked all over.
Keep the Faith, Keep Shining, and Keep moving Forward.
I've been through a 5 years relationship break up and the past month has probably been the worst of my life. I couldn't get up from bed, eat and all I did was crying. I think this video saved my life. Thanks you so much.
Healing takes time, take it slow and try to enjoy everyday. Don't force yourself, a human mind and body has its limit. Slowly but surely u will shine once again 😊 Cheers!
@@KaustavNemoSen Thank you so much, I will do my best and move forward. Cheers!.
+1
I’m 2 months out of a 5 year relationship with the girl I thought was going to be my entire future. The first month was awful. We are now 3 weeks no contact and it does get easier, just try not to think too far ahead and focus on right now. Day by day. You’re not alone
@@dommorley9743 if you focus on helping other people, it will take your mind off your problems. You’ll still hurt but you won’t be focusing on it 24/7. I hope you heal
I'm 27 and I don't know why I'm saying this openly on the internet but.. I lost the most amazing woman of my life not a long time ago and I can't get over her. It's exactly that unique edge she had the narrator was talking about and I can't get her out of my mind.
If you ever want to learn something from my failures then it's that never, and I mean never make the same mistake twice and never invest more into someone who isn't investing as much into you.
Have a nice day and good luck to you.
True. How do you feel now ? Are you seeking out other women?
You will get better bro.
Why you lost her?
@Cristofer 024 probably another guy, this guy is more interesting because is new.
Niceee! I like what you've said
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Action Speaks Louder Than Words!!
In my youth we never had to worry about forming relationships, we had other concerns like exploring territory for food and avoiding being eaten by other predators, good times
When I was younger, if a woman liked a guy she would let him know for sure, we didn't experience the same confusion that people do today.
How was dating like back when you where younger?
@ David
The problem is , women today cannot like a guy anymore since she is mentally above him ( on behalf of the equality lie ) . She cannot like him , she cannot respect him because she does not regard him as the head anymore .
Gen X here. Dating was very easy when I was coming up.
@@konspiracy9953 It’s horrific now
i actually dated her 5 months, and she starting ghosting me, i pushed her a lot messsaged her like 6 times , and send a letter to her apoloigised for being a bit mean, then i went to her apartment and tried to talk to her but her roommate was there, 5 mins later i got blocked from her, she said i made her roommate and her uncomfortable and went too far, do i have a chance to message her from a mutual friend or another phone and casually say sorry i just wanted to talk to you, as a friend at least. theres no big deal or hard feelings, and say wont msg youl anymore. i can bump into her anytime as i have few mutual ( guy friends) , but i acted pushy and creepy after she said she liked me a lot, now its all dead and been 2 weeks. i can send a message to her from my 2nd whatsapp. or try to bump into her, because i never got to talk to her in person. it hurts. i hurt her first without knowing ,then i got needy and tried to apologise and msged her if i could say sorry for my behaviour etc. then sent a letter to her, then went to her place and got blocked, couldnt even see her WAS out of town . wellllll it was all good intention jjst wanted to try talk to her...
I'm a nice guy and I don't regret it at all. I'm not gonna pretend I'm something I'm not. Maybe I've missed out on being with some women and maybe some women don't want that. It's cool, I don't want women that want something I'm not. Relationships are trial and error and I've met my share of women with varying degrees of compatibility. I've now been with a gal for a year that loves me for me and is similarly kind hearted. She also makes it a point to invest in my happiness the way I invest in hers. Don't be a simp sure. Don't be so introverted you never try to date anyone, but don't be afraid to be nice if that's who you are. Even in my short term/fun relationships being nice worked for me better than not.
I realize how your examples taken were exactly what I wanna hear.Thank you for these videos. Well thought! All I can say is that I hope I can fix some things about my perception right now
"Be the person that has the unique pairings" I've been struggling a lot with relationships and I think this is one of the best lines. It's really easy to find one trait that a woman likes about you and exploit it, so guys like me tend to show only that and hide everything else. It's better to show all trait as a kit than make a good trait your personality.
yeah this advice sounds like divorce few years later....you cant hide everything forever
I'm taking a long drawn out break from relationships because my heart has been broken so many times. I have been investing and committing to myself now. As a result, I've never felt more confident and worry free! My advice, fill your cup until it overflows. What spills over, is left for the others around you.
Hell yeah dude! This is super solid advice. The funny part is when guys actually do this, women begin chasing them (dont do it for that reason though lol).
Dude I love this thought. I’ve gone through a lot of heartache in my previous relationships and have decided to invest in programs that are aimed at developing me as a person and it’s huge! Even within the past month, it seems like I’ve made an unbelievable amount of progress.
LOVE THIS
I spent 3 months on a girl who was leading me on: her words made it seem like she was interested, but her actions told otherwise. She then tweeted that she went on a date with someone else... and that was the end of that. Lesson learned: It's gotta be a two-way street.
she taught you a lesson. Would you not return the favour? Dont be so greedy. When someone teaches you something dont just say thankyou. Teach them a lesson too. just dont get killed
@@marjiman_rts the hell you mean by "don't be so greedy"? And I didn't say "thank you" to her lmao, I made it clear to her that she handled it like an ass.
@@awkwardelevator220 the whole comment was sarcasm. To really understand what I said. You must read it like that
@@marjiman_rts haha okay I gotchu. It didn't seem like sarcasm at all to me and I know there are people who randomly comment super negative stuff so I thought it was unironic
i actually dated her 5 months, and she starting ghosting me, i pushed her a lot messsaged her like 6 times , and send a letter to her apoloigised for being a bit mean, then i went to her apartment and tried to talk to her but her roommate was there, 5 mins later i got blocked from her, she said i made her roommate and her uncomfortable and went too far, do i have a chance to message her from a mutual friend or another phone and casually say sorry i just wanted to talk to you, as a friend at least. theres no big deal or hard feelings, and say wont msg youl anymore. i can bump into her anytime as i have few mutual ( guy friends) , but i acted pushy and creepy after she said she liked me a lot, now its all dead and been 2 weeks. i can send a message to her from my 2nd whatsapp. or try to bump into her, because i never got to talk to her in person. it hurts. i hurt her first without knowing ,then i got needy and tried to apologise and msged her if i could say sorry for my behaviour etc. then sent a letter to her, then went to her place and got blocked, couldnt even see her WAS out of town . wellllll it was all good intention jjst wanted to try talk to her...
This video popped up in my feed shortly after I got friendzoned. The person I was dating said I was a great individual but I definitely think I was too vulnerable with her. I think I was getting somewhat played because she was asking me about certain personal things. I didn’t want to be rude and brush off her questions but moral of the story is we can’t be too nice out here with 99% of people. Big lesson learned
@@vedivyansh don’t reveal too much unless if asked about it.
I grew up being the nice guy, always putting others first and taking their feelings and emotions into consideration when interacting with them. I'm a straight man and would act and think like this not only to girls I wanted to date but my friends too, and I would always get so SO hurt when they would turn around and do something shitty without a second thought, and I'm sitting here like "I would never do or say something like that because I know how it would make you feel" Seeing how hardly no body returned the thought-process I do, instead of turning mean I just shut off communication and turned in to a hermit. The phrase "I don't have friend they just disappoint me" used to be a funny meme saying now it's just a painful truth.
You couldn't have said it better people tell me go out but when I was down and hit rock bottom I became such a people pleaser a yes to everything I would never say a mean thing even I was told things I would never say cause words hurt more than anything. I always wanted to show loyalty always be there my car my expenses but when your dry everybody leaves again. No one cares about how you are how you feel or how they make you feel. I've been told be strong minded don't show hurt no matter how much it's eating you up inside. I'm like people have no feelings if they can hide it. I could never I just leave now. I live in my room I'm most likely going to erase my social media only talk to a couple of freinds but no one ever says I'm buying so since I know I'm buying for the event I just go if I want to or not. People take advantage of people like us. We can't change just know who deserves it and who doesn't. Also time money gifts anything I always see stuff at stores reminds me of a person freind coworker aquintace and will buy it as a gift. I haven't been able to recover financially for always putting everyone fisrt but it's time I lift my self up first and then I can help people. Just make sure the right people are receiving it.
@@RicardoLopez-ty4kn Be strong brother much love
@@superazula3722 thanks brother.
@@superazula3722 thanks bro I'm going off the grid work on my self to not let things bother me so much.
nice people get taken advantage of ask any prostitute who hands over her money to her pimp .the key is to be good to good people .boundaries and standards dude if u dont have them u're fair game for all the freeloaders
In my experience I've found most of my exes to be extremely arrogant or extremely insecure. Usually both because isn't arrogance also insecurity? The only girl who seemed genuinelly normal/mature is a girl I let go after a few months. Why? I was in my late teens and too stupid to know what I had in front of me. She asked me out as well, she was only ever nice to me, and I barely gave her the time of day. If I could go back to that moment I'd punch myself in the face. Wasn't that I didn't like her, it's that I lacked motivation for any kind of relationship at the time. Sigh.
We often let the right people slip right through our fingers.
aye, but you should be glad that you're seeing that now and won't do it again in the future, don't let past decisions bring you down you were only a teen
Maybe you just saw her that way, maybe she's not what you think she is, you never know someone until you actually be with them.
That's life we evolve.
Been there done that
Lol u're the common denominator sweetie
"Distance makes heart grow fonder"
Thank you for both the content and putting the subtitles at the bottom of the screen.
Here to support all of you reading this right now! You guys are stronger than you know, but we’re even stronger together. Keep Christ close in your life and HE will guide you through this new journey. Help others when and where you can, but most importantly, take care of yourself before anything and anyone else. You won’t be able to adequately tend to others unless you have taken care of yourself first.
A very important thing to remember. Never Say Yes, if you want to say NO. There is always a tradeoff in every decision. If you make/choose/decide on things not productive/useful to you. You are in any way trading them off for something that could have been useful/productive.. God bless you all. Stay Motivated!!
At around eight minutes in the video, I could really relate to the "boring" part. She said you were ambitious and went after what you wanted, and she found that sexy when she first met you. But then later that ambition became "boring" because that is all you cared about and all you did. What women find fun, attractive, and sexy in the beginning becomes "boring" to them later on in a relationship. It seems men are screwed with women either way-you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't, what ever men do. Women want the best of both worlds.
Its all cuz internet. You almost know for certain that he can be replaced there are people better than him in some aspects. When you know it's easier to say good bye.
It works both ways. Women often get 'chosen' for their nurturing and selfless characteristics that will make them good wives and mothers but often get cheated on or left for an independent carefree woman because after a few years of child raising and domestic duties she is too tired and boring to be of interest to her husband.
@@edenlass9062 the old works both ways bullshit argument...boring
Women want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to have the doting husband/boyfriend who will pay their bills while also getting fucked by the badboy/convict on the side. They don't even hide this behavior anymore.
Not all women want that, that's a very generic outlook. Never been attracted to a 'bad boy' in my life regardless of my relationship status and my female friends are all the same. I hear generic statements like this from women too like 'all men cheat'. Both genders would do well to take a look at the type of person they attract/are attracted to if they seem to be running into the same type of people and relationship issues. For example I have noticed that many PUAs advise men to look and behave in a way that is very attractive to narcissistic, superficial, gold digging women but is equally repellent to the ones looking for a loving relationship. The guys that follow this sort of advice often think they are attractive to all women and therefore get a skewed perspective of what all women are like. They don't seem to realise that different types of women are attracted to different types of men. It might help to view yourself as a business trying to attract customers - how would you advertise what you have to attract your ideal customer? Is your branding on point or is it misleading, does it attract the sort of customer that will not appreciate what you really have to offer?
There are several things in my years on this planet that I hold true.
1) Find your zen. We are emotional creatures. You will always shift from one extreme to another but finding the balance that works for you so you struggle less is the goal, not the things I can surround myself with through the money that I make.
2) have a plan but change it as often as you need to keep moving forward. Things don’t always work out the way you planned it but can work out the way you intended.
3) if who you are isn’t who you want to be, make the necessary changes to become that person.
4) the only person you can truly rely on is yourself. You have to be both self motivated and accountable.
5) No one but you will bring you happiness, the sense of peace you crave, or full fill your dreams. The other people in your life can enhance those things or provide you with the opportunity and motivation but it’s through your efforts and struggles that you have a sense of accomplishment.
6) You attract two kinds of people, those who want what you have and those who want to destroy it. Sometimes they are the same person. Surround yourself with the people who give you motivation. Sometimes even the destructive people can bring this and along with it clarity of thought.
Life is about growth and the people you want in your life, whether it is male or female, should help bring that into your life. Even if it’s for the briefest amount of time. Cherish the time you have with those people but be prepared to let them go, they are not always meant to walk your path with you forever.
"That's love, the desire to almost become merged." This hit hard.
Stay on that grind kings. Don’t let them distract you
I think what makes a relationship successful is finding someone who can contribute something to improve your life. If you're not gaining anything but sex and restaurant bill, it'll never last. And people who go from job the job, either because they got fired or quit, will tend to quit in a relationship at the first sign of trouble. Every couple is different of course, but these are just a couple things I learned throughout my dating and marriage experience
I wish i had seen this types of videos to have the guts to leave since boyfreinds. I knew it wasnt a good idea never cooked clean dress all ragedy just paying bills since i took the responsibilty of all her bills desires clothes to go with her mom. Just for some sex and boring miserable life but she would cry not to leave her. wich i had better girls and better sex with some freinds that did so much cause they wanted tonbe in her spot and when i was cutting out the last one she said she would by me a brand new truck and buy a house to move in. She take me out to eat and dance and pick me up ando watever i wanted as long as she was with me i can say we enjoyed son much and the biggest laughs ever but i chose the other one. And miserabl life brwad crumbs an only me workin. She just sleep all day or at her moms. After 2 girls and just ask for more money i said no more just for the girls and she left.
This is excellent advice Derek
Got to read the signs and know when enough is enough and get rid of her. It won't get better
This video is gold for every man, please share!
This guy is so right it's crazy, I can't dispute this
You can be nice. Just don't be a pushover or use "niceness" as a tactic to gain affection. -Nick
Trying to be bad or trying to be someone we're not, changing ourselves superficially for another person or the prefered sex, is like putting on a mask, being toxic and inauthentic. Im a nice guy and i treat women nice, because that is me. If i were born a bad guy, maybe i would have a different life, but i learn to appreciate myself the way I am. So I encourage you to be nice or whatever way you are. The right person will appreciate you in the way you are, after you appreciate yourself the way you are. All this "Don't be too nice to women." is false indoctrination to hurt women. Please dont. You are only weak if you hurt others and not strong.
This is the greatest single piece of relationship advice I’ve ever heard.
This is spot on. There needs to be space between you and your partner to create desire and tension. Spend more time you get love, spend time away you get desire balance is key you shouldn't be seeing her EVERYDAY she will get bored no matter how awesome you are or how much she asks to see you.
Great allegories all around mixed with very remarkable life advices. Thank you!
Man, so true. Relationships are about the trash can. Anyone can love each other when things are great. But how about when they aren't. How about when you DON"T feel good. Do you stick it out? Do you work it out? Do you handcuff yourself to the other person and say we are going to work it out no matter what?
These days u can't be down u can't have alot of emotions you gotta be strong as a rock for people n not to vulnerable.....but u wanna see the bad n the good....love these days it's confusing one minute is this than the next is something different or u get boring .....like omg....
@@ej13012010 I hear ya. It feels like, in my failed relationships at least, the other person doesn't love, they love how you make them feel. When they don't feel that anymore, they aren't "in love" anymore.
Coming from a guy that have long experiences with this it's damn true stop being a nice guy it doesn't help you this isn't the 1900's this is the 21 century
Trying to be bad or trying to be someone we're not, changing ourselves superficially for another person or the prefered sex, is like putting on a mask, being toxic and inauthentic. Im a nice guy and i treat women nice, because that is me. If i were born a bad guy, maybe i would have a different life, but i learn to appreciate myself the way I am. So I encourage you to be nice or whatever way you are. The right person will appreciate you in the way you are, after you appreciate yourself the way you are. All this "Don't be too nice to women." is false indoctrination to hurt women. Please dont. You are only weak if you hurt others and not strong.
@@ryu7964Its not being rude to women but really being nice to women do not work….be good only. Do not be rude to women but yes do not be nice too otherwise you will be taken for granted.
I’ve had ups and downs in my life. With faith and love, with each passing day I have been changed to become who I am today
Found this video at the right time, thanks for all the help!
Going through two long term relationships (each one 7 years) that didn't work out taught me so much about myself and what I truly wanted. I made a vow that, if I was to get married, it would not happen before a certain age, much later than most. All I can say is, I'm glad I waited. To guys in their 20s (especially early-mid), don't be afraid of waiting and resisting any pressure on the commitment front. I know we don't like to think about it, but there's a good chance your early relationships will not work out. Heck, the statistics aren't great even in your 30s and 40s, but things do settle down a lot in your mind by that time. You know what you want more than ever. You have grown into yourself. Nothing's certain, but making a commitment to someone now, at least I can be confident it comes from a very grounded, stable place. We need to have time to make mistakes, grow and then reflect. You may find that your biggest commitments in life don't happen until you're nearly 40. But that's ok. I personally wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
To the *incredible person* seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.
🙏🏻
That was deep. I wasn't expecting this. 🙂 Great job. You have a new sub.
Something really interesting that I took away from this video, is that desire is imperative in any relationship, love is not enough. Love is when you’re together, desire is when you’re apart. It is important to have desire in a relationship because there needs to be some mystery to the relationship to keep things fresh and interesting. I liked the idea of time apart from your spouse to understand that you don’t know them as well as you think you do. Having the impression that you know your partner completely and utterly is a delusion and it does nothing to help your relationship.
To anyone watching this...
GIVE YOUR BEST THIS WEEK FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO! 💪🔥
❤️
The problem is she betrayed all my trust by having an affair before we got married and it continued even after we got married. She’s only sorry she finally got caught, and it took so long because I kept telling myself to not doubt her and to trust her despite the obvious signs.
Here I am in this half finished castle, finally realising what has happened. I’m moving on. I won’t even bother to demolish what’s left. I’m going on a journey to find another plot of land, be a man of great & higher value, with the believe someone who is a builder like me will join me in the construction of our new castle, together.
Trusting a woman is a mistake. And lol this dude (the speaker) thinks you can't build a castle on your own because he is still naive. He can keep believing that, still too young & native to realize that women chase guys who already built castles as well as castle builders. They don't want a partner; they want their Better.
women, usually, don't want to run the race with you (build the castle) -> usually they wait on the finishing line to join you when you finished your race/achieved the goals/built the castle already... then they seize you up and decide if you're worth chasing/trapping for what you've got... (that's majority of women -> ~80%+) 🤔🤷♂️
@@nicole1184 women initiate 70%-90% of divorce so that's not the case, and only about 20% due to male infidelity.
@@femimark5021 70-90% of the statistics people site on the internet are made up to justify their false world view
@@Legal-Ade well these are real statistics gotten from census of various countries (hence the range). I didn't infer anything from the statistics other than what they directly state. I understand it diverges from the public opinion.. Society is currently the one ignoring well documented science and statistical evidence in favor of ideology, idealism and self delusion.
Yes. The instinct to protect is very strong.
I like this message and it really hit home today. Thank you for sharing.
Don't ever stop being true to yourself or you will regret it life is to short to be something your not
what if all u wanna do is play video games and smoke weed
@@jakesamsoy1761 I would try to find a little more in life but if that makes you happy puff the magic dragon play away
Some of these people need to understand though, that’s not the same thing as working on yourself and evaluating yourself as a person
@@jocelynclay8095 working on yourself isn't thinking as oneself as an alpha or beta or any high archy it's realizing in human existence we really don't have these titles we are just people and men who put fourth theses titles as themselves are man children who cry over toys
This wise RUclipsr just got my subscription by saying this, " don't invest in a woman on how much you like them, but on how much they invest in you" Thanks man,!
This isn't his channel, his' is called Matteo... somthing I dont remember, anyways his name is Mathew
Yes, that one made me take notice too. I've over-invested before, for too little return.
This is true. I was the "nice guy" just about all my life, and it got me NOWHERE. A lesson learned almost too late
I believe in God, indeed I do, and I know my faith has been growing a lot. But I would apreciate sone advice.
I know only I can solve this problem, and I dont want to have my vision blurry... Soo I rn that I decided to have 2 weeks break from they bough.
I'll put things this way, the first girl, I have been with her for 5 years, almost 6. She has vallues, a father figure, and catholic, always ready to help others. But I guess I started losing my interess in her because I was second guessing if she was/is the girl for me. Yes, she is consistent, she helps, and have only slept with me. But there is another side, were I got really disturbed. She has some ego problems -like the truth/logic is on her face, in a clear way, and she is soo proud... Keeps denying... She has entitlement issues... And the thing its a great issue, is the lack of critical thinking... I dont know I feel that I cherish her, I like her, but I dont know... her parents have spoiled her very much, Im not sure if even I like her, and we have a strong bond, if she has the capacities for a marriage, in terms of living a real life... Sometimes she gets hostile, and say passive agressive things to try to hurt me... soft.. But Its not nice...I am afraid that her ego issues, a litle entitulement, a bit lack of understanding others point of views, and her "princess" lifestyle may be a problem in the future. Sometimes I feel like its acting, or not 100% deep.. And the fact we sin easylly, And that is my fault too..
I mean, you must know how to clean, raise children, be smart, and feel faith
We also have sexual sined for a lot of years.. And This is on me, but I cant or have extreme dificulties "controling my lust around" her
Its a "At least we are in a relationship", "When we get marry it will stop be a sin" mentality
I mean she is catholic but I dont know how to say, but sometimes I feel like she lacks some intelectual and deepness in some ways...
But for real, she has values, understands (or makes me believe) that sex is not for any person, she cherish her intimacy, but its superficial in some ways... It the past she had showed some issues I trully didnt like, Ego problems, superficiality, some arrogance, two faces when we were with her family or friends... Sometimes I fear that I may have created a bound with a girl I should not
And I gave her time because of that, but, even she is not super hot, she only slept with me, shes caring in her way, and has strong values... But somethings she doesnt have personal opinion? I feel like its missing critical thinking, and empathy in some ways... But she is resilient, and consistent, and dont let go easy.
The second girl, I have met her while working. To be honest, I was tired of my ex girlfriend ego issues, that lead to strong fights, for stupid things..
And I swear that I have tried to stop looking at this other girl, trying to stop conecting to her... But as things went wrong my ex girlfriend, things were going fine with this other girl
I respected the fact that she was working, she liked psycology, she was simple, always ready to help, sweet and nice in many ways.
I tried not to, but indeed she melted my heart in some ways.
Than, I found out she smoked weed, drinked badly, believed in astrology, piercings... welll, I did not judge her, because I have been there too... I had my past where I smoked, and grown a lot of weed, and got drunk sometimes, I had my past were I could not sense God. And was suposelly and atheist... But thanks to God I found my way out. And I wanted the best for her. Recue her in some ways. Some things were smart, intelectual, easy going. Others I was a little bit riscky and imprudent. For example, I was not even smoking, but I did one thing for her. I would smoke with her, if she promissed that we would not smoke for a week.Then I would smoke with her, then we do not smoke for two weeks... Then we dont smoke for a month... Then two months... Then 4 months... And now? We dont even want to smoke. And we had the chance, we just putted that asside and pray. Thanks God.
I feel like, with the help of God, and its mainly God, I dived in the ocean of her problems. Of her issues...
I gave her flowers, on the first day by surprise, when she showed me her face for the first time with no piercings. For showing her that the way God naturally made her is the most beautifull.... I made her understand that astrology is deceiving, and dangerous, and that makes more sense to love and be guided by the creator of the stars, that be guided by the stars themselves.
In the beggining, I was craving my sexual sins and so did she, we slept togetter, had lots of sex. THAT IS A PROBLEM. The only thing I regret. But then we got above that sin. For my surprise we did. I cherish our intelectual, loving, funny godly talks. She doesnt fit with the world either.
Now she does not smoke, nothing, not even tobaco. Not getting drunk.. She is studying. She is following God. Goes to the church and prays. She stopped sleeping around and seems to have better bondaries. Understands sexuality.. No piercings... And I love to see her happy, healty, with a future.
She quited her social midia, and Im gona be honest, I trully wish her the best.
We are similar, I could say I love her in some ways. She is very smart, inteligent, nice to people, empath most of the times expecially with kids and the ones in need. I feel like she feels things in a deeper way. And I am not joking. I feel very very bad for her, because its not her fault her father is not in her life, and that she has a extreme selfish narcissitic manipulative mother, who even though ther spiritisms...
Its not her fault that she ended up in the world getting used by guys, and having fisical, emotional and spiritual damages... Trying to fulffil her heart with lust, pleasure, bad companies, psychedelic trips...
And I have been there too so I trully wanted to help her... I feel that she is similar to me... And we have a" push to the right way efect" on each other. Even sexually and that amazes me. Sometimes i feel I grow in faith with her, we even pray the rozary.
But for real, I also feel I cant ignore the signs.
-50/70 minimum people she has had sex with before at 22years old
Huge mother issues
-Not a father figure
-Having lots of guy "friends"
-porn
-Drugs
-alcool
-Emotional instability, mood swings
-tantrums, and Anger issues. Trully anger issues
-Self harm, she cutted her self in the past, beated herself
-Avoiding responsability
-Sometimes, unespectes selfishness, she has some issues understanding other points of view
Im not dumb. I cant spot all the Red flags.
I can realise that I may be blind to the truth. And probably even I find her
-inteligente
-smart
-deep talk
-understanding
-helper, knows how to clean, and economically responsable
-likes to read
I mean I like her very very much... But I feel like she may be to broken.. She may not trully pair bond... Psychological damages... Traumas... I dont want my kids to know her mother had sex with multiple partners, sometimes at the same time...
She is similar to me, I dont judge her, I dont make her feel bad, but I cant ignore she had 50/70 minimum guys with her, and the damage that that type of promiscuity makes...
Most of all, I am afraid that she is a temptation between me and my ex girl? She still loves me, but I know she is getting tired too...
And she may not be that smart, that inteligent, and have problems but at least I never question her love, and I know she only had sex and trully bounded with me.
I wonder what Jesus would tell me...
"You are right, the first girl is materialistic, and those ego problems are gona ruin you, in the future, she needs to seek god and put in practice genuilly. You were young and rushed in sex and its a bound you should break. And keep with the ex sinner girl because now she is redeimed, she is new and the bond of love will be stronger. The ex sinner girl makes you grow with her more than the other you know that"
"Keep the first girl, who trully loves you , and always have been there for you, love her, start chasity values, lead in a example of god, do the right thing for her, dont follow tempation, you are blinded by love and you have lust the sinner girl, watchout for not loosing the love of your life. Dont be fooled, even if she seem to have changed be prudent and love the one who was here before"
"Leave them both, not good for you"
"Leave them both, regret your sins, you dont deserve neither one of them."
Sometimes I feel more like the last one... Because I was divided in my feelings and that is messed up
I dont want my insecurities to make me believe she is dommed because of her past. That is not what Jesus would do. If I dont forgive others, how will he forgive me? I also grow and feel way saint around her.
I dont want to keep a bond that may not be trully good for me, of my ex girlfriend. What does it matter if shes only slept with me, but follows the world and God in practice is not the first priority? Material world
I dont want to be decceived and ignore the fact that this girl is too damaged, broken, god forgives but will she sin again? We all do fall, with all those serious issues i know its almost 100% sure Im gona get hurt.
I dont want to have messed up my pair bonding with my ex, and ahe really is the love of my life
I dont know what to do. I want to follow Gods will. God knows its true. I may sin, I may not be perfect, but i seek him and ask for forgiveness. I want to submit to God fully. I wish and trully think that may be one of these girls. And I am soo afraid of not understanding the signs, or interpret bad, or even that even God loves me Im a sinner not in grace and he wont show me the signs...
But I think its more about I understanding them
Of these girls, I would like to marry the one God trully has for me.
I dont know what to do...
Thanks for your time. God may bless you, greeting from Portugal
It may not have gotten you anywhere, but that's the world's fault not yours. Your life should be defined by who you are, not who women want you to be. They're extremely flawed to think something is wrong with someone for being genuinely kind. I hope you regret nothing.
@@jocampos7002 0:02 Hi great dude. I‘m a 51 yo grown man and just want to let you know that i read your entire comment and it was very interesting and great from YOU to share those complex relationships that have/had. Thank you very much. You deserve this ❤. You asked for advice but I have the feeling that your own true self will give you the right answer. Call it your inner child which is innocent at heart and I am very sure that if you trust that innocent godly part of you it will decide for the grownup person which you surely are and by this comment have proven to be to make the right decision aligned to your faith, your past experiences and the hard times you have overcome till now. You are spiritually and intellectually to TRUST YOUR GUTS. Your instinct, after all your well written thoughts will lead you to the woman that God has prepared for you and maybe she will not be either of the two very complex woman that described very well. Easy to understand how hard it seems, but as advice I would say: Trust your inner child and also common sense that you have. ☝️👍🙏 A great human being you seem to be and you deserve the best and maybe the best is on the way to you soon. This is my wish for you and unusually I feel strongly to say this inspired by my Love to God and Christ our Savior that loves all of us unconditionally...maybe even your sinful girl more than the other. ☝️ We don‘t know but the Lord knows and with my love to human beings in general and inspired by my faith for my wonderful best friend Jesus Christ I would end this comment in his name - who is the Greatest of all. May God bless your caring and loving empathic soul with all that you deserve and once again: Thank you for sharing all the history and thought about your Ladies. Both seem to deserve good after all they have been through. You deserve the best and know trust your faith and yourself.☝️ I think you will get what God has prepared for you. Love & Greetings from the partly wonderful, but also confused City of Berlin/Germany.
this is so much work.. I think that there only a handful of people will do it.
I think that most people won't
This video… talked about everything that I’ve been going through mentally this passed week… I’m not used to the space after being attached to someone for years… it’s tough, but this helped… I love your channel… continue saving people ❤️
I wish you the best on your journey on your own healing mate
i really hope you're mentally healthy and fine now🫂🫂
Thank you all. I’m okay! Getting through it slowly but surely. :)
Dont worry you will get use to it and enjoy the peace of mind love yourself again.
attached to someone ? not your wife or gf ? , who ? . i think i might have same scenario as you
What a man needs most is self love.
Thank you, I'm going through depression and this helps 🙏
There is a lot of gold here. It gives me some new insights as to why my marriage died. Never been happier!
So both people in the relationship hold back to see how much the other is going to invest and it withers because both believe the other isn't invested.
Sometimes you just have to take a chance if you really like them and invest! If that investment isn't reciprocated then sure pull back, but at least one person is going to have to take that chance.
Yep. My other party is always being undecided to invest. Everytime. Seems to let her go.
A relationship is about giving and receive, from both parts. Also improving yourself as a being and whatever you want to do in your life, both men and women. Lots of people expect the other to do more, like a never ending cicle, but don't invest in he/she in return. So that's when it doesn't work, if you're truly interested in someone, you must show you really care.
I appreciate ur words
WowI I can't argue a word Matthew says. Superb advice - for those prepared to listen and realise that it's not all perfect.
Never relates to anything more in my life, one of the best watches on RUclips for most of us men.
Damn! Don't invest on how you like them, invest on how much they like you...that's deep! My motto🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
This video is brilliant! The trash can metaphor, spending time apart, the “AND” thing… freaking brilliant! Thank you.
hearing this video makes me give up.......too much work for me really .......good luck to everybody else......
This is why it's easier to get into relationships when you're younger I think. Because both people are still exploring who they are and trying to figure it out. There's more mystery and you can explore together, but it can also be the underlying reason as to why young relationships often don't last, because both people can eventually grow apart in finding themselves.
70-80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. Let’s just clear that up and identify which is the party that’s “giving up”.
Which could also mean that the men in those marriages are the ones who did something wrong, like cheating, not being present for the children, etc, or didn't put enough effort despite the wife talking about what was wrong and trying to arrange it. We can always find someone to blame and go on those gender wars, or we can accept that women have changed A LOT this past century due to their emancipation.
The majority of the women who ask for a divorce have a job, that is the difference with old times. But men have not changed, they keep thinking that providing money with a job is enough and a lot of them don't participate enough in household chores or family life (women have to take care of the kids even if they work, clean, etc). Love is one thing, but it can't carry the world on its shoulder. Try to understand why these women leave. Being in a relationship shouldn't be about sacrificing your own happiness for your partner's. It should be a team effort, but some women have to play all the positions.
Until men and society follow the change, and understand that women deserve and have realized that they deserved to be happy too, divorce is only going to be on the rise. I'm glad these women have the guts to do so and no longer fear to be alone or stay in unhappy lives due to a lack of other options.
Man I wish YT had a laugh reaction. Let's identify why they initiated: The man's infidelity or controlling behavior or abuse.
@@rocketship3396 so you mean to say the overwhelming majority of men nowadays are abusers and playboys and that's why a wopping 80% of divorces are started by women?
Think carefully about what you think is the answer, because that'll tell everyone a lot more about you than all the men combined.
i actually dated her 5 months, and she starting ghosting me, i pushed her a lot messsaged her like 6 times , and send a letter to her apoloigised for being a bit mean, then i went to her apartment and tried to talk to her but her roommate was there, 5 mins later i got blocked from her, she said i made her roommate and her uncomfortable and went too far, do i have a chance to message her from a mutual friend or another phone and casually say sorry i just wanted to talk to you, as a friend at least. theres no big deal or hard feelings, and say wont msg youl anymore. i can bump into her anytime as i have few mutual ( guy friends) , but i acted pushy and creepy after she said she liked me a lot, now its all dead and been 2 weeks. i can send a message to her from my 2nd whatsapp. or try to bump into her, because i never got to talk to her in person. it hurts. i hurt her first without knowing ,then i got needy and tried to apologise and msged her if i could say sorry for my behaviour etc. then sent a letter to her, then went to her place and got blocked, couldnt even see her WAS out of town . wellllll it was all good intention jjst wanted to try talk to her...
@@rocketship3396 Damn, youre right. I wish it had one too, cause that level of ignorance DESERVES a laugh reaction thrown right back at you, preferably into your face like a pie.
Acting like women dont cheat, arent controlling or abusive is LAUGHABLE. I would know, Ive dated 4 women in my life and ive been cheated on by 3, abused by 2 and controlled by 1. Luckily, I was never married to them so ive lost nothing but time and emotional damage. So please, PLEASE stop pretending that women cant be petty, cannot be abusive, cannot be the problem in the relationship, cause it happens way more than you will ever realize.
just because those girls out there are toxic doesn't mean i can't be a nice guy, and i'm not attracted to those anyway .there will be someone who loves me for who i am.(videos like this are all about "be the narcissist" so you'll look charming you'll have control, but you'll also lose yourself and what you get from it is very superficial)
Just came to this video to see this kind of comment💯💯
Nice.
Did you even listen to the video?
Why dont you watch the video at first?
@Tomislav Antic then they should never take his kindness as a weakness
Provide and protect is very powerful.
He so right being extremely nice to someone only gets u hurt
Trying to be bad or trying to be someone we're not, changing ourselves superficially for another person or the prefered sex, is like putting on a mask, being toxic and inauthentic. Im a nice guy and i treat women nice, because that is me. If i were born a bad guy, maybe i would have a different life, but i learn to appreciate myself the way I am. So I encourage you to be nice or whatever way you are. The right person will appreciate you in the way you are, after you appreciate yourself the way you are. All this "Don't be too nice to women." is false indoctrination to hurt women. Please dont. You are only weak if you hurt others and not strong.
dont let anyone run over ur kindness bruv 😤
I believe in being the best man that I can be. The traits that I try my best to embody, I embody them for me. Not because I want to be attractive to others. But because I want to be the best me. If anyone tells me that I am not doing enough for them, I will take that on board, but will always look to see if that person is working to be the best that they can be. And if they are not and they simply want from others what they do not work to also give, that is a clear signal that that person is not worth my time. Men or women, it doesn’t matter. Be the best you can be in everything you do, embrace the rich experiences of life, don’t hurt other people and then, when you are those things, be very selective and only allow positive people and positive experiences into your life. The rest doesn’t matter
Absolutely hit the nail on the head Matthew. So glad someone has finally managed to articulate this so succinctly.
Amazing video. So many true words have been spoken here. Thanks, enjoyed every minute of it.
What a man needs most is self love. We are taught wrong by people who do not love themselves, and so have no abundance and instead use love to fill a hole within them, aka shoppers. It may be painful, but today I can say that all those experiences taught me a valuable lesson about loving myself.
like yourself do not love yourself
Same was with me I had 2 elder sisters and one was too motherly and other was too bossy they both ruined my mind to be nice ... but once I was in school I shared my lunch and asked the girl for notes there kicked something that you need to have something which others dont have or want ..from there I grew up trading money for relationship but that made my understanding clear about girls .....I don't tolerate them for their bad behaviour, move on fast and find another better and more respectful towards me ....my one tip is Consider yourself a catch and be the catch and see how everything changes ....
Be who you are. If that happens to be nice, then so be it, despite how others view it. Trust me when I say these people out here aren't worth you changing your ways.
this is bad advice always try to improve for urself while still loving who u are
@@lidiagizaw3828 You missed the point. Being who you are can include improving yourself. Pretending to be someone else for the sake of validation, sex, relationship, etc. is not being who you are.
Yes that is true.invest wisely.i learn't something.