What Do Women Actually Want From Men? - World’s #1 Female Dating Coach Matthew Hussey
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- Опубликовано: 23 май 2023
- Matthew Hussey and Chris Williamson discuss what Women actually want out of a Man in the dating market. What are the most prominent complaints women have about men according to Matthew Hussey? What are Matthew Hussey’s key levers to transforming your dating life? What can men and women do to separate themselves from other prospects in the dating pool?
#dating #relationships #matthewhussey
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I'm 27 and I just have sex with hot young escorts. No difference than having sex with most women these days. Most women these days have very high body counts but you will never ever find out they do. I have inside information as to that fact by the way from an attractive friend of mine. Also most women my age are fat and have lost their looks already, I'm mostly only attractied to 18-22 year old women.
I don't even want a relationship, I just want sex, a lot of sex. The fact of the matter is I'm not attractive enough to get all the sex that I want. I've only had one relationship in college and she is the only girl that I had sex with in my life that was genuine (as in she was attracted to me) to be honest.
I'm lucky I have a lot of money so when I'm in the mood I call an escort and book a hotel. I've tried a lot of dating but all the women just want me to so they can have a house. They don't really care about me nor would pick me over other guys if I didn't have a lot of money. It feels awful in the pure romantic aspect of my life I guess but I've just given up and blocked those feelings out.
I want to have a son one day. I will most likely have to pay for a surrogate and parent on my own. Will have the woman breast feed as long as possible of course. I want to be the best dad ever.
I dated the good guy and he was a con man, their, and cheater! He was poor like me in teens! 🤦♀️😂
If you ever want to collab let me know 🫱🏼🫲🏻
This guy doesn't get the average man. While the average man has a lot of work to do ie, build up his finances, get into better shape, develop better social skills; the average man is not out there pining for the top 1% of women. He's just wanting someone who he is attacted to and is wholesome who he can build a life with.
Agreed. Sure, we should all aspire to be better, but the average man isn't looking for the top 1% of women. However, I think due to social media, the average young woman now has far more access to romantic attention from more guys then ever before, making an average guy less desirable in comparison. When in reality, we should be less focused on finding the best we can get, and focus more on finding someone who compliments us well
what would that look like, a woman you attracted to ? (weight, age etc)
@@ines3770 Anywhere between 21 and 27yrs old. between 5'4 and 5'9 100-135lbs. Pretty face, with an active lifestyle and wholesome personality
@@lilhuge1 well your standards are actually high. The age alone will make it hard as this is the most sought after age group. Only 34% of women are between 20-30 years old and you looking at en even narrower age group. On top of that, the average weight in that age group is 167.6 pounds. So you looking at an even smaller demographic.Among those women you weed out for those who are wholesome with an active personality and you are basically left wirh a small subset of women who can have any man they want.
@@ines3770 I am 25yrs old. Women typically date men older than themselves. It is very reasonable to look for a woman close to my age. Besides, 34% is a large portion of the population in terms of dating. 167.6 pounds for MOST women is very overweight and unhealthy in the long term. You're correct that I am limiting myself by looking for someone wholesome and active, but that is where standards come in to play. There are plenty of women age 21-27yrs weight 100-135 who are no where near the top 1% of women. top 20% maybe
“Men don’t commit”
“Men don’t choose well”
“Men are entitled”
It’s ALWAYS the men’s shortcoming, men’s fault or the men’s responsibility. God forbid women be held to the same standard like they’re grown adults too.
and God forbid that men have standards
Women don’t need men anymore. That’s all it is. The data is clear. Women have the world at their fingertips for the first time in human history.
@@usuallysalty4018 terrible message. Men's dating coaches tell men to better themselves.
Women are very immature these days too. It's always said guys mature slower than girls but that's not true. Girls are also taking forever to mature but it's just less noticeable. Most girls under 24 are too immature for marriage and many don't mature past that.
Facts
He literally says that those issues are shared in both sides, but you hear what you want to hear
There is something about this guest's advice that doesn't quite sit right. Generally, guys are not competing for the top 1% of women. Men are far less selective than women when it comes to dating. Also, when he spoke about "the indecisiveness of men and the inability to actually commit" as being the biggest problem women face in modern dating - I wonder if this dating coach informs the women he coaches that the reason why "men" may be reluctant to commit is because the vast majority of women are competing for, and talking to, the same small number of men at the top of the hierarchy, in terms of looks and socio-economic status etc. Women are ultimately free to have whatever criteria they like, however if a person's criteria is so narrow that they will only settle for someone in the top 10% (in terms of looks, finances etc) they will face a massive trade-off: many other women will vie for the attention of that same guy, and that guy may therefore be more inclined to capitalise on the opportunities available to him.
If I was coaching women, I would try to raise their awareness that there is a large cohort of men that are effectively invisible to them on dating apps, and that they may be likelier to find a meaningful relationship with a man if they open themselves to the possibility that there may be a decent person in this invisible cohort.
Most men are willing to sleep with anything, AND at the same time, they aren't often I the same hurry hurry make a life commitment. the life commitment is what we women want, NOT someone to sleep with.
This guy gets it.
Your answer seems to be lifted off the internet rather than reality. You clearly have no experience in dating.
I think the reason Matthew's advice might not sit well with you Maximus, is due to a difference in beliefs.
- In your comment, you say the vast majority of women compete for the same small number at the top of the hierarchy of looks, socio-economic status, etc.
- Matthew, I think, doesn't believe this is the case, which is why his advice might not sit well with you.
I'm curious: Where did you get this belief from?
@@lnaph yes that's correct, within limits. Briefly that's why women used to demand commitment before having sex, it provided the critical information the woman needed, is this guy willing to commit to me. Men just don't have the same problem because if a woman is willing she will probably commit as well.
The sexual revolution recommended to women to trade information (will he commit) for access to more physically desirable men (don't slut shame).
Men just have a different issue. As for men changing, first it won't happen, neither men or women will change. Second be careful what you wish for, if men were the picky ones you might not like it as much as you think!
'Income doesn't matter' - says the dating coach who charges $10,000 an hour for one-on-one sessions.
I normally find these guests who lack self awareness quite humorous…. Only time Chris responds on the comments with the cliched “this is not the podcast for you” responses….
I've called-out Hussey on the full-length and have avoided Chris' response.
@@alejandromolinacwhere did Chris respond?
He’s saying what the women tell him. Probably also his sample is isolated to more desperate women as well.
Why would "income doesn't matter for attracting girls" mean 'don't try to earn as much money as you can'?
Of course they don’t want commitment, They’re the top 5-10% and have all the women they want. Women prefer to be just another one of these guys than really having a commitment
Bro actually missed the one point he he was trying to convey in the video
Women partly created this monster themselves. By opening their legs and acting with the sexual morals of men they pretty much gave men zero incentive to commit. Sex is pretty much free, don’t even need to buy a girl a meal anymore. Forget chivalry and traditional values. It’s an absolute topsy turvy modern world.
Incel moment
@@desiree2086 >I am mad that someone posted something I don't like
LOL
men are not indecisive when they are sure about the women they are with, a man saying he is not ready really means your not his ideal women, but he likes you but isn't sure he can get something better so decision paralysis sets in, when a man finds the women he truly wants he knows she is the one he wants to marry from the day he meet her,
Exactly. A man who is "indecisive" is a man who is into some easy sex, and that is all. And there is nothing bad in that - the vast majority of "indecisive" men have not promised anything other than sex. It is up to the women to sort out what they want. And unsurprisingly, most of them at young ages, just want the sex and partial companionship as well as a "the experiences" (which included a fair share of ressources extraction), before "getting serious" and settling down.
Billionaire, vampire, superhero, doctor, that can read minds.
So women want a combination of:
- Superman for his looks, height, jawline and muscles
- Iron Man for his enormous amount of money and rizz
- Professor X for mind reading
- Doctor Strange for entertainment with magic every minute of the day else she gets bored
you forgot pirate 🙄
this guy is smart hes milking single women by telling them its not there fault
After all, that is how women roll trough life and gas eachother up. They've been told from a young age they don't have to do anything for a man. Men will come to them, so they don't need to improve themselves ... they are just perfect princesses/queens the way they are. Men should accept them as they are. Men can't have any standards or boundaries. The world should bow to women. And daddy even tells them this nonsense, so they end up living their lives in La La Land.
Yep.. it’s called playing to their emotions
Always the same types of women too. Pretty much all 30 plus and focussed on their careers. xD Never a 25yo working a simple job.
Imagine how pathetic you are if you are the gender who doesn't even need to do anything, since the burden to pursue a relationship is on men. All you have to do basically is not turning into total garbage and becoming unfeminine ..... yet they still are capable of doing just that! MY GOD xD
So they have to resort to a MAN giving them advice how to be a woman.
And imagine if he'd been the opposite of good looking, none of these broads would've even batted an eye on his content.
yep they LOVE hearing that.
The person who is hated the most is the one who is telling the truth. Most people want to live in lies.
Yeah... I don't think so. When I reflect on the women who had a shot at being wifed up with me, it wasn't a lack of commitment that ended the opportunity. It was some other fatal defect in _their_ behavior that did it. The most recent one, who complained about wanting to get married all the time (for years), just could not stop lying to me about money. Like literally hiding credit card statements behind my back and then getting offended when I found out. I can't build a life with someone like that... 🙄
Frankly, I've come to the conclusion that I must have terrible taste in women so it's ultimately all my fault. But, at no point was "commitment" ever the issue with any of them.
@@DoubleOhSilver I can work with things like that, but actually stealing away my retirement is a deal breaker.
Genuinely sorry about the hat happened to you! But please know, it was a sick individual, a person who did that to you, definitely not all women are like that
@@MaiaDreams I know not all women are that way... just the ones I seem to like. 😆
@@tempsoda Very few people have the power to look inside themselves and see the problems. But... Some things are pretty blatantly obvious. In the example I provided, I tried for years to show her another way and she simply didn't have it in her. I made enough money to float us both if things had gone that way, but not with an actual anchor around my neck that I wasn't even being told about. Instead, she chose to do things in a way that would sabotage our future together and she knew it. She knew it every time she did it and did it over and over again. It was a pattern of behavior going back to her youth once I learned the big picture.
I have other examples of other behaviors from my past relationships that I could go on about, but it's pretty much always the same story. I get with someone for awhile, things go well for awhile, some ridiculous character flaw comes out that just can't be corrected (or tolerated), and I'm once again on my way on down the road. I've been trying to get married for 20 years. 😂
Anyhow... I'll also add that I'm not the first perfect human to walk the Earth either. I have plenty of my own faults, but I don't usually spend years covering them up and hoping the other party never finds out. It's things more like I'm a fairly gruff person at times, spend more time waiting to speak than I do listening at times, etc. Pretty standard "I can be a better person if I try a little harder" type of stuff... and some days I'm more successful with that than others... just like every other normal person.
@@tempsoda You really don't know how right you are with the self-honesty comment. That well goes way deeper, but, whatever. 😆
The time really is the killer... I spent nearly 13 years with the last one and have taken a 4 year break since then while I have debated whether or not to even get back in the pool. I likely will, but almost exclusively because it was pretty much a death bed request from my mother. I'll gear up to give it another go, but if it spins down again I'm not going to bother anymore. I'll get a dog and take up some esoteric hobby like artisan pipe crafting or something in a little shack in the woods. 🤣
I think the truth of the situation is, a guy who's not committing it's probably a 6 dating a 5. Close enough where it's easy for the 5 to feel cheated, but enough of a difference where the 6 has the suspicion that maybe they can do better.
I saw this directly in my brother. He had no problem getting girlfriends and it's clear the girls wanted it to be permanent. But when he aggressively moved to make it permanent I wasn't surprised by the girl he picked.
I have to add, men have a similar effect. All things being equal a man would rather approach a 6 than a five if he's a five. Though in a man's case it's not uncommon for him to get shot down by a 5 also.
Agreed, if a 9 gets with a 6 & below ...that 4,5,6 etc. is going to do whatever he/she can to keep the 9. A 9 is not going to commit to the lower ranks. Why? Because there is absolutely no reason to under any circumstance so long as the next rank is available. The life as a 9 is a powerful one that is reaffirmed every day, ever hour. 9’s walk through life with the privilege of choice & variety. Variety will always be desired over commonality. It’s why humans desire different foods every day. It’s why most of us desire to have different shoes/clothes, desire to play different games, moives etc. Same goes for mates, good looking people enjoy the power that comes with variety.
I watched a very attractive women at the gym yesterday get approached by 4 men. She handled it with class as she seems like a very nice women. She is a 9, I rank from 5 to 6. She received more attention that day that I have received in about 9 years. The world does not care about my life as a 6, neither does she. The world only cares about the here and now, don’t take it personal.
@@shatterdreamz2325 you know I actually don't think it's that skewed. I think when the difference is that big people on some level know. It's really the 5/6 split that burns you.
It is painful to see people compared as numbers and ranks, and is even more painful to realise I understand what you mean… The world has become so superficial… :(((
@@MaiaDreams Have we, is there any culture or was there a time on Earth where your ugly isn't an insult? Was there ever a time when, you can't find a mate, wasn't an insult to men and women alike? Apparently even the ancient Romans used it.
We're shallow, I guess, but I think we've always been that way.
@@MaiaDreams Sad world we live in but I wouldn’t worry about numbers and rankings, focus on what makes your life happy and hang out with people who you can make wonderful memories with. That’s all that matters. No human being is perfect, looks fade away and we only get so much (if little) time on this earth.
Once a woman knows a man commits to her and dont have a better or equal choice, it's the time when the woman wont respect her man. It's just in subconscience.
"A lot of debate at the macro level" is gold. Micro and individual responsibility to get our act together is by far a more valuable focus AND not easy to do!
It's always criticism for men, and no criticism for women
you got it and we are all getting very tired of it.
Women pick men that aren't looking for marriage ... and then complain the man won't commit ... they think they can change the man's mind .... DOESN"T WORK ... women need to pick the guys who are serious and AT THEIR LEVEL
But it is never the mans fault for being a player though. When we do pick better our standards are too high 😕
@@sarcodonblue2876when he is already a player then what u gonna do with this question if its his fault or not
He aint gonna commit move on.
But what you guys don’t realize is that last 5 men told me the same thing either through their actions or directly through their words.
@@mana-uv7cz ... that they weren't looking for marriage?
@@mana-uv7cz People always make the current person pay for the sins of the past rather than learning the lessons and applying them to their own lives.
Matthew is great at pandering to woman with his great looks and talking like he understands what all men think when he in the top 1%, he should go back to talking to the woman and not us lol
He's the mgtow of women because he panders to women mainstream supporters him
💯
Reminds me of Steve Harvey
He has to express himself diplomatically, otherwise he would alienate his clients.
But that doesn't invalidate everything he says.
What's the criteria of him being the #1 dating coach?
Right? I don’t resonate with so many of his ideologies. And I know other people who think the same.
It's tricky when men and women have different dating strategies, and they go against each other. Men want s3x asap because without going for it, the girl will friendzone u or not take u seriously as a potential romantic partner. For most women, they want commitment, and if they give it up too quickly, then they can't screen out the guys who will use them and leave.
That’s a great observation. I do think it’s possible to make your intentions clear without going all the way to sex though.
Lets look at age range 20/30 something women, will lean towards wanting kids. 40/50/60 want companionship. 60/plus can take it or leave it when I am just seeing my observation with Women.
If someone is going sex ASAP on me I'm immediately BLOCKING that idiot. Not every woman is a wh0re
It is VERY possible to make your intentions clear. If you ask a girl to go for dinner to get to know each other better, that is CLEAR! And she should be showing you reciprocation. If she’s not, then she just sees you as a friend and it’s your job to accept that and not try to change it! Only one guy has ever asked me out like that, and he was 22! So no excuses 30 years olds
"The guy I think I'm entitled to" won't commit
"The guy I think I'm entitled to" doesn't want to settle down
"The guy I think I'm entitled to" is stringing me along
There, I fixed it for you
Im the guy who wont commit nor settle down, i have SEX with five different women a week and i divide my time and attention between them, i do bare minium an never devote all my time and attention to just one woman.
The women who can't get commitment needs to reassess their market value and also the market value of the men she wants commitment from. I understand we as humans cannot negotiate with attraction but our dating life operates in a free market that is designed to be efficient.
Stop!!! So many women out there are beautiful and skilled and have so many qualities they could bring to a relationship only to be surrounded by men who have no interest in developing a meaningful relationship with someone. Like some men, no matter how awesome a women is, just doesn’t want to settle down with 1 women. Women meet these men and think there is something wrong with them, when there is a man around the corner that actually wants commitment !
Really don’t trust this guy. Has no idea what the average guy goes though. Don’t listen to him
Okay. He hears woman's struggles all the time. I'm not saying he is always right, but completely dismissing out struggles or experiences is also a shame... we women want people who can empathize with us and care about our experience, too... and many of the issues he talksa but even if I ha e my own view how to approach them are absolutely common ans valid issues for women in dating.
@@lnaph literally everyone out there trying to help women. Men are getting ignored
Women have problems too just try to live like normal men. Its really different struggles women are looking for the one person while guys looking anyone who can be there with em. And this is slowly coming into Femcels. Like incels but difference is Femcels still have options while incles nothing
@@GEO_________________________24 that's the farthest thing from the truth. The whole PUA community is there to help men try to get women as manipulative and toxic as it is... and there are tons of self improvement guys there to teach men how to get girls...and tons of content I have seen on youtube.
@@lnaph agreed, but PUA is also trash content but for different reasons
@@DoubleOhSilver I agree. It's the culture that unfortunately was the breeding ground for all sorts of harmful mgtow ideas... the false narrative only breeds disdain for women...and a false understanding of who we are... very 2d as though we all think alike... and when someone comes with that energy as well as entitlement to basically own someone, it can't end in love...
*Women want their emotions validated.* They rarely want you to solve problems; they want you to say "wow, you must feel so [her obvious present emotional state]" or "That would make me feel so [her current emotion here]." Once they feel like you respect their emotions, you're good to move onto solving the actual problem.
lol, I must be a woman then. But yeah, most men (including myself) are not so good at making an emotional connection. First you need to listening and validate emotions. Then you can offer problem solving, if the other side wants it at all. But be careful not to run over their feeling of autonomy. That's what I learned shortly, but have not yet full implemented.
@@hanswoast7 There have been plenty of times when I actually did something wrong and felt bad about it, and by the time I finished doing the whole emotional validation thing, she's not even interested in an apology or solving an underlying problem at all.
It's like a cheat code for my wife's brain. I just have to keep cool enough to remember to use it. My dumb monkey brain always wants to grouch back when she's mad at me.
This is not a women or men problem, this is a type of human quality. This type of people are called selfish and self-centered. There are both women and men that have this kind of behavior. Can we not blame labels on each genders?
@@wrenillusions I don't think it's a problem at all; different people focus on different things. Women overwhelmingly tend to want their emotions validated. Dudes overwhelmingly like to solve problems. Women tend to be more interested in people; men tend to be more interested in things. Both paradigms have value.
@@willerwin3201 Well, I do understand how you've come to this conclusion. My mother is a good example of someone who acts on how they feel and always wants her feelings validated first in a conflict. However, I am also a female, and given that I have received better education, I personally do not perceive behaviors like wanting to get emotions validated before looking at things from a logical pov as a reasonable behavior. I think that is very selfish and irrational. So what I'm trying to say is that time has changed and education quality has changed. It's a person's education and environment that determines their traits, not their gender. Gender may seem to play a role because boys and girls receive different education (different role models, gender stereotypes), but the internet has allowed that education gap to start closing. So maybe right now there are more women that acts emotionally and more men that act rationally, but you can't say that all women does that because it's in their genes and gender; it's not their natural behavior, it's just their education.
The "men don't commit" because the men they want to commit have many options. Or as my grandma used to say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the sex for free".
What in hell's name is this advice. You'd get better advice from fortune cookies and horoscopes than this guy. I don't even know where to begin.
Let's just start here: "There is an entitlement among a lot of guys that "I should have this' " - That is a perspective completely devoid from reality. There is maybe a few percentage point guys that are high on the narcissistic spectrum that are like that. You can find them online once in a while as that's where they like to reside, but outside (you know in the real world) and as is well known by evolutionary psychology: MEN ARE NOT PICKY IN DATING.
This is a historical truth, men are not picky. Men date across and down hierarchies, women date across and up. Women are the entitled side of the dichotomy. The only group, and by that I truly mean the only group that thinks otherwise are entitled women.
Actually now that I mention it, basically all the ideas and advice that Matthew gives are ones that the entitled women that keep going for men way beyond their ability and then blame men for it are telling each other. You know, while they're creating excuses that it is not their fault they treated their partner horribly and got dumped because of it, it's the man's fault. All men are bad.
His audience is mainly female. Thats why he speaks nonsense. He'll lose revenue if he appears "red pilled".
Probably why the video said #1 women's dating coach or something similar.
@@YeodoongiiieWell, yeah that's how he makes his money. Kind of like how the PUA guys make their money by also selling BS.
it's that "dating up" mentality that in the past may not have been a huge problem, but in modern dating apps, all women are being shared by the top 5-10% of men.
That is where women say "men dont want commitment", enter these dating coaches telling the 90% of guys to "MAN UP!"
10 years ago men weren't even aware of what you wrote. Think were not making progress.
Great video thank you. I'm happily married (second chime was the charm, full disclosure) but I've always taken the approach of pursue personal excellence and you to in turn will be pursued. It might take some time but I figured as I continued to improve myself personally and professionally the right girl will eventually come along and she did.
This is absolutely incredible content - thank you for seeking empathy and understanding for struggle for guys to find attention from women!
Women don't know what they want, but they won't stop till they find it!!
Why do you think women don't know what they want? Do you mean all women, or are you talking about your own experiences?
Don't get me wrong, your own experiences are still real and important, but there's a big difference between the two
@@afarwiththedawning4495 Why do you think they would do that?
As the only woman in this little conversation, allow me to interfere: we know what we want! And is simpler than what you think: love, care, protection and comfort, give us that and we’ll be yours
@@MaiaDreams Men are much simpler. Have sex and don't be a prick. A Happy man. Women have such an easy route, and they still manage to fuck it up.
To add to Victoria’s comment above … absolutely!
And the reason why it seems to you (to a lot of men) that women don’t know what they want is bc these women don’t sense masculinity in men.
I know this for a fact from the first 2 guys I dated to the 3rd I dated and eventually married. A woman wouldn’t know and she would be a little confused if a man isn’t tapped into his masculinity. A man’s masculinity grounds a woman and if she came from a family where she felt safe and protected by dad if dad was present in her life and a strong role model, it will feel like home for her when she’s around you.
Im sure there’s a lot of women who have mental health issues that can ruin her view of men.. But in this particular instance where you think women don’t know what they want, look to yourself or men have to look to themselves if they are standing in their masculinity, and the woman will naturally take her place beside you.
I don’t say this as trying to be that woman telling men what to do or how to be a man, this is just my experience of what I felt I knew vs what I didn’t until I met my husband. Dr Jordan Peterson talks about confidence and competence, thats what I truly believed what women are looking for, the result of that combination is safety long term.
I honestly don't get how this dude became a dating coach
Easy. He's a womxn Panderer, a Male feminist cancer.
women love his LIES.
Getting a ton of female followers because he doesn't hold them Accountable.
Easy Success without Challenges.
The main issues women have is they are always going for men out of their league. Men out of their league will sleep with them and even "date" them, giving women the false sense that they are more attractive than they really are. Hence why the guys they want dont commit to them.
The other problem is their abundance, an average woman can go on a dating app and get hundreds of matches in a few days. Having too many options is a problem in itself when it comes to just choosing one thing. Whether it be love, fruit, cars, whatever.
There are other flaws but i think these are the main 2
Bonus: Many women are indecisive in general
Bonus Bonus: women find healthy relationships but end them because they're serial daters, once the honey moon phase is over or they get bored they run off to the next guy. Either because of hypergamy, depression, bipolar, etc. Ive seen too many women end good relationships for bogus reasons, just to have 3 new boyfriends in the span of a few years. Unable to stay with one
Great video and thread. Good job, hosts and commenters.
This episode was so good
Nice clip bro. I'll have to watch the full thing now!
I'm new to this, how do I watch the whole-full length video?
The guest is clueless.
No man is saying "I want a 10" unless they themselves are a 10. At best, it's "I want a woman who isn't a 1, who won't divorce me when she gets bored."
How'd you come to believe men only want a 10 if they themselves are a 10?
All men want a 10 even if they're not a 10 themselves.
That's what incels are. They are low value wanting and expecting 10's
I've had pretty intense s3x with ropey looking lasses that I haven't been able to get out of my head afterward. A wild 5 beats a shit 7. I'm being realistic😮 here! I'm not going to be getting any 10s even if I was single.
Stop! So many men online have called Margot Robbie “mid”. If guys think she is “mid”, then everyday pretty girls that would have been a catch for any man in the 80s and 90s are now boring plain janes because they don’t look like pornstars and Instagram girls who are hypersexualized. Many men see normal women as boring because of what they see all day online.
What women want depends on where they are in their monthly cycle. It's always changing. During the fertile (late follicular and ovulatory) phases of their menstrual cycles, they want Chad. The rest of the time they don't really want men sexually. Most of the time they would rather hang out with a gay male friend or their girlfriends. There's also a general slow shift in preferences from their teen years to their 30's. In their teens and early 20's, coinciding with peak fertility, they're mainly interested in genetic fitness (aka. Chad), "bad guys", and status (celebrities etc.). In their late 20's and into their 30's they start to prioritize other qualities like the ability to acquire resources, the ability to provide security for her (future) children, and qualities like generosity. In their 30's they don't want a man, but they need one to make kids and to keep up with the lifestyle of their friends on social media. Their biological clock is ticking loudly in their head, and if they don't have kids yet, they're willing to settle for men they aren't attracted to. Women in general don't like men that much most of the time. Sometimes their feelings and hormones steer them in the direction of men, but in general, they don't like men in the same way we men like (young) women.
WHERE THEY ARE IN THEIR MONTHLY CYCLE HELPP 💀💀💀
Wrong. As a woman, I have always wanted the same type of guy, regardless of my cycle. I also always wanted their company, and not the company of platonic friends. This is regardless of the age I was, from 12 onward.
I feel invisible to women that I like. I am exercising, eating healthy, getting a new job, beng cleaner, but being 34 ruins everything and feels like I don't have a chance with any woman.
Great clip!
And brilliant insight on don’t let macro themes or fears, detract you from making the correct decisions in the micro!
I haven't had a match on Tinder for almost 6 months...
What do we even make of this world nowadays? AI bots online generating content, deepfakes, dating apps, politicians who don’t give a shit, paycheck to paycheck living, laundry list of requirements from dating partners, plastic in the food the water, social media plaguing our attention spans.
What does it mean to be human at this point?
Every Week change out your pictures and change how you dress.
Change out your profile asked a witty question on something women love to talk about.
Get off that crap and approach in person trust me those dating sites are just a big scam.
1) online dating is a scam
2) Tinder is a gross platform that normalizes gross things and has bad actor owners
I've never had a match at all......because I don't participate in social media at all.
Complete waste of time
Do you really want to "selected' by a woman like being a pair of socks on Amazon? Not me
I think this man has some great advices. If you are the type of guy that cant seem to relate to what he is saying, I would strongly reccomend you to pay twice as much attention to what he is saying. I was once a man that though that women would only care to the top guys, but the truth is they want someone who makes them feel safe. If you are an insecure person, they will likely feel that. You gotta work on yourself so that you feel like you can make them confortable.
I used to hate going to clubs and dancing, etc. But i would force myself into into it, cause i knew that if I stayed home all weekend, nothing would change. Go out there man, do someting out of your confort zone. Get on a tinder date with a women you are not sure about just fo the hell of it. Do something that can change the way you are thinking right now. Cause I strongly believe that "virgins" are stuck in a mindset and think about women in a way that doesnt correlate to real life. You gotta meet more women and really learn how they feel so you can relate to that.
This feels so sincere
@augustgates thanks man, it is just the way I see things after having my own experiences.
I am 60 and retired. I love women but I could not care less what they want. The average woman in the USA is 5 feet 3 inches and 170 pounds. Happily Retired and single.
Off topic, but I keep seeing the expression 'could care less' from americans. I believe the expression is 'could *not* care less' - ie you care as little as it's possible to care. Could care less implies that you actually care more than you might.
I can tell you the solution we came up with in the past to the dilemma he's talking about.
Briefly that's why women would demand commitment before having sex. The good news is someone's a lot less attractive when you know they like someone else more, and someone's more attractive when you know they genuinely like you best. By demanding commitment in advance, a woman could assure whether the person really liked them or not. It provided information to the woman, is this person actually willing to pick them over other women? Modern dating has the advantage of granting women access to more desirable men, but has the disadvantage of denying them information. They're not able to ask that fundamental question.
Men had to use different strategies because in general a woman willing to sleep with you without a bribe is probably willing to commit. On average most of the time.
When we talk about maturity we are really saying, pick the best person from among those who like you, not just like the shiniest thing. But it makes it much harder when you don't really know where you stand and who the person would really pick.
It's tricky when men and women have different dating strategies, and they go against each other. Men want s3x asap because without going for it, the girl will friendzone u or not take u seriously as a potential romantic partner. For most women, they want commitment, and if they give it up too quickly, then they can't screen out the guys who will use them and leave.
@@CommandoMaster yep, it's not a magic wand that solves every problem it's just a strategy that makes things a little easier. Romantic problems aren't exactly something new.
I like to put it like this, more information won't fix every problem, but a lack of information makes every problem much harder.
So the cultural expectations and norms were really safety rails, not oppressive rules. Maybe some people could do fine without the safety rails, but plenty more benefited from them.
Yup. Women stopped saying, "No", and that is how their value in the dating market is determined.
If they refuse a high-value man that puts out the message that they have more choices and makes the man work harder IF he is actually smitten. If they say yes, the man sees her as easy and not worth settling down with. They will certainly keep sleeping with them as long as they allow it, but the moment they force commitment the man will disengage.
"I sleep around with lots of guys and put out, but none of them ever want to commit to me" -Women.
@@CommandoMaster No, the type of man who pushes for it is a bad sort of man. You're contributing to making the world a worse place, even if it's not as bad as when a woman sleeps around (which it is not because men and women are not the same). It is still not good; it is thoroughly irresponsible and gross.
This is brilliant 🔥
Anyone know what t shirt brand Chris uses?
Female dating coach named Hussey lol
From my experience, most men want commitment too, but women are just as likely, if not more likely to lack commitment. When every social media and dating platform are showing imagined possibilities, holding off for the next best thing is kind of the standard.
To be fair, for the hyper attractive men, they act the same way. It’s not strictly a female behavior, just a person with options behavior.
Women talk about commitment but do everything they can to test and outright sabotage every relationship they ever have. Women themselves do not commit, and if anything, are less commital than men.
What makes me chuckle when Hussey talks about his wife saying she "focuses on what's really important", is that… she's literally with this dude. He's top model level of good looking, he's successful, he's good with women. Surely she's not focusing on any of that, surely… well, as soon as he loses any of that she's out, no doubt. I know, I know, personality and good morals count, but that comes after all of that.
What is he talking about?!!?!? It makes no sense and not really giving advice just empty words!
He's pandering to women. Waffling on and on and on...
It’s funny cause I’ve been watching all these MW dating episodes and I hear the same sentiments and problems occurring, the guests and coaches always have the same sorts of feedback and although I respect and appreciate everyone’s expertise… just doesn’t feel like they have boots to ground evidence where ease a lot of these guys online and what not are giving real life feedback on the issues at hand and wether there exasperating or not there’s definitely heavy friction in the dating world
I think both males and females in this current state of society don’t feel any need or drive to wanna be more committed more proactive and values such as loyalty and compassion have taken the major backseat
Their advice is directly tied to their income. They have to offer hope, so they can then "coach" you and make $.
@@ivanpaganCHAMP wrong both of em wants happy long relationship but our mainstream media and narrative is fed to make it sound like women don't need men they can do whatever they want
And guys are struggling. Its so clear
The kind of ppl who dating coaches coach are different to those in the real world. When u go out in the real world, and talk to the majority of attractive women, most of them are in committed relationships already, and they didn't have to get a dating coach to solve their problems.
Dating coaches are the worst. They tell women to keep looking for guys they won't find attractive and they tell men to never commit. A recipe for failure.
"Men need to choose better." From my experience most men don't get to choose, including myself.
The sandwich shop analogy is quite good.
Kudos to Chris for not only getting the same guests as the other podcasts.
what are all of these things anyone can do to date better?
I have never heard a guy says he wants top 1% of the women... It's an antievolutionary statement, guys are polygamous - they want more, and girls are into hypergamy - they want the best. I don't think he should call himself a coach.
@8:55 This guy sucks. Men aren't intimated by high earning women, they know full well that high earning women initiate divorce and have unreasonable standards, and that the relationship ultimately turns into one where the woman thinks she wears the pants and belittles her partner even if he makes more than 90% of people.
The reasons I care about the “macro” level are:
1. I want to know what it is that I need to do at the “micro” level.
2. I want to know *why* those things are expected.
3. If it turns out that I’m right about the macro level, maybe at least one person will listen to me and reconsider their stance.
Chris, I started watching you about 2 years ago.
From 'oh that guy again, well I'll watch it for the guest' through 'this guy has some good quality video and sound' all the way to 'I love his interviewing style and direction of the channel'.
Absolutely love your feeling on when to add to a topic and when to shut up and let others speak. Can't wait for you to hit 1 000 000, friend!
Thank you 💜
Simply put.... everyone is afraid of rejection. Either men asking the girl out/ his inadequacies and his insecurities of themselves or women not having a straight forward conversation on what they are actually looking for in the long term that is definitive in nature and that conversation remains open to communication.
Both these concepts require maturity, dating several people and other stabilities in life to make a decision about what you want. But the underlying issue in most cases is fear of rejection and or poor communication predicated on assumptions of the others intention.
Also what women want in a husband is totally different then they want in a friends with benefits scenario, or just casually dating.
I think htat the best dating advice out there is that men should be men and women should be women, it's insanley simple but the majority nowadays fail at it
I think the women Matt are dealing with are older women, who aren't as attractive/high quality as they think, and have too high standards/expectations when selecting guys. There are good men who are willing to commit, but those "nice guys" are ignored by women and rejected because of laundry list of requirements the woman has (eg. he's not tall enough or good looking enough, he doesn't make enough money, he's too nice/boring/safe, etc.)
Being nice just means being agreeable and doesn't necessarily mean you are kind and compassionate and have emotional intelligence. Many "nice" guys just do things for women to get laid but really don't actually care for who the women really is.
Protip for the ladies: Never EVER sleep around and never EVER making excuses for it if you want a good sort of man. Don't listen to what most sources tell you because none of those people have real marriages like our great-grandparents. It's women that need to step up their game, generally.
1:05 IPad with Magic Keyboard ?
Idk it’s super confusing tbh. In highschool I watched person after person after person hook up with multiple people both male and female. Just in highschool… I was like wtf is going on???? Then I went to university and had 2 room mates cheat on their gorgeous girlfriends (who found out..). And I saw it all over again - people mindlessly hooking up 24/7. And now it’s common to hear things like ‘50 body count is my max, depends on age, were 22 so probably 50 max’ like wtf. Is. Going. On. Im Noticing we have gorgeous women who aren’t pure and pure women who aren’t as gorgeous. It’s terrible what’s going on..
Men not struggling for dates are feasting on the buffet thats on offer and saying im not ready is just what they say instead of your just 1 of a few Im working right now.
thank god interesting conversations on youtube
Is the "top man" the same guy for each women though I mean do we not try to find someone that fits us best.
Great guest. And the comments are predictable. Any advice that puts the onus on the individual to stop bitching and focus on themselves is not typically well received in this sphere. If you want the right individual partner, all of the macro level statistics mean nothing, less than nothing.
Lol. If you want to survive in a battle, the information going back to high command that 90% of the troops are already dead and the enemy is on the march... means nothing, less than nothing. Yes, the macro level statistics mean something. If 75% of women had chlamydia, it would be more of a risk with any individual woman than knowing only 0.0001% of women have chlamydia, but yes, you could always be the lucky or unlucky one...
Have you ever seen advice that tells women to stop bitching?
What do women actually want from men... EVERYTHING!!!
No guy ever says they have to have the top 1 percent of women. Never ever heard that before.
Never in my life have I heard even high value guy say I want the top 1% of women.
Said it before, will say it again - affluence and status.
*Height!*
@@M0viLover 🤣True. But you can find women that are (even if by a small margin) shorter than you, so you still have a chance by that metric. And the woman will probably be receptive to someone that's not much higher than she is. It's a lot harder to acquire resources and influence, though. In fact, it never happens for the vast majority of men.
No money no honey
Great dude, love his mindset
Are they not willing to commit?
Or are they not willing to commit *to you*?
The women who this men councils... are the same women who have failed over and over in dating. SO maybe his sample size is a bit biased?
Jus be Tall and Handsome ..... They want ONLY CHADS .. The rule of 90% women - for the 10% of men...
True👿
5:07 guys don't want the top 1 percent of women. Literally anyone in the top 40-50 percent is good enough for most guys
My experience of women is that they don't know what they want, and when they've got what they say they want they don't want it.
So imo best to take what they say with a pinch of salt but show them respect and you won't go far wrong in the live game ?
I am noch taking advice from a men that tells us what woman want based on what woman told him what they want.
What woman say they want; what woman think they want and what they actually want are three completely different matters.
A men has to be good looking (which means better than most other men); providing ressources and security (more than most other men); has social skills/social status (more than most other men) and be more competent/confident than most other men. Once this baseline is met we can talk about what Hussey tells us here about what woman want; which leaves us with the problem he isn't even mentioning: Hypergamy has run out of control due to internet.
All we want is someone who is loyal, funny, loving, a leader, and wants to build a life together.
Who doesn’t want to commit?!! What % of women vs men initiates the divorce?!!!
as good as it gets, jack nicolson's quote as he gets into the elevator
Those women are shopping out of their price range. In my 20's i was a professional cheerleader and a solid 8.5, very pretty, perfect bikini body. I got marriage proposals from 100 millionaires and pro athletes.
NOW? I'm way past the wall and could never get commitment from men that handsome and rich.
Girls who are fat, average looking & uninteresting think they should get a relationship from men who will only see her as someone to smash on a slow night.
She refuses to believe that an average earning good man is the best she can get.
This is what I don't understand. Why do men even need to commit? let's remove "want" from the equation. What would a man possibly need a woman's commitment for? I guess if they're going to entwine finances, have a house together, have kids together... even sleeping together it's just to avoid diseases, some people have open relationships. So, if a man doesn't want your finances mixed with his, doesn't want to live with you and has no intention of having kids really what does he need commitment for? I think it would be interesting to ask women that: "you want a man's commitment. Why would he want yours?" then maybe some women would realise why they are always the bridesmaid never the bride/sidechick/mistress etc etc.
Man here posing as a woman.
@@paulwary me?
@@advancedapathy1531 I don't know. Is that true? What's the answer. I think another interesting question is why do women always include themselves in photos of anything, a man takes a photo of his motorcycle, a woman takes a photo of her on her motorcycle. A man takes a photo of his meal, a woman takes a photo of herself eating her meal. It's an odd one.
it takes balls to own up to your own foibles and to stop doing it and then politely ask someone to stop doing theirs
I've seen tons of red flags over the years. Lying, controlling ways, quick desires to make things serious, insecurities, lingering attachments to ex's or women who cause problems for new women. These type of men aren't impressive. That's what guys are selling as attractive and worthwhile nowadays. Its not! Thank God if you have found a quality person to be with. What Im describing isn't even basic dating material, let alone relationship worthy.
I still don't know what women actually want from men
Wealthy Chad
There are two rules to dating
1) Be hot
2) Don't be ugly
What you need to understand is that you are competing with other guys. So the only time looks matter is when you literally don't have anything else going for you. You think if a woman has a choice between dating a handsome barista and an ugly CEO, she won't go for the CEO? Come on. It's about finding something you're good at and getting better at it.
Darn I thought it was going to be Vince Kelvin
I should be doing better but don;t think it should be given out for no reason.
Welll intentioned but naïve, woolly gibberish. That guy is just not grounded in reality
Mathew is awesome! ❤
We women have become the men we once hoped to marry. Gloria Steinem.
Money.
My sister and multiple girlfriends have told me that woman are by nature polyamorous.
I think the guy being interviewed is being ‘shined’ by his clients while they ‘virtue project’,…. And he just doesn’t realise it or care because he is being paid a fee and his ‘job’ is to listen and not think.
There is almost only polyamoury and financial dependency.
Friends of mine who are woman, tell me directly, that they ‘hunt’ men who have money so that they are not under financial pressure and can have more fun in life.
Allot of guys know this and we are not that dumb.
Allot of woman don’t realise that guys know this.
Less than 1 percent of the time is there actual love.
Thats quite disheartening... why even have relationships at that point
Being eager and ready to commit from a man to a woman, does not extract success as well. I see women as being able to go from guy to guy easier, than man going from woman to woman.
Listen guys, you can’t duck until you’re 30 anyway so focus on your career and women will chase you. I promise.
Not saying all women are like this but I actually just broke up with my girlfriend because she said that she felt like I was “not serious about the relationship” so I asked her to move in and have been telling her we should spend more time together for the last six months then she said she was too busy for all that??
That’s the moment I realized there’s no logic to anything she was saying i finally just told her “i was moving on & Best of luck” lmaooo
Nah, guys typically do _not_ want the top 1% of women... too much of a liability. She'll be the one to look down on him... "I'm too good for him," or some sht.
First I hear @ have men put you on a pedestal” and then men say “ that they’re not good enough for me “ WT@
"...the things that you've told yourself matter..." hypergamy is not something we tell ourselves is important, it's imbedded in the species. Unfortunately I don't see it changing anytime soon, and redefining what same level is is not that easy for smart women
Arrived kind of late to this party but I can safely say that most dating coaches and life coaches follow in the footsteps of psychologists and psychiatrists who shift the blame around on family and/or parents and keep you coming for more. Just relax it's not you it's never you It is always someone else.
It's hard to talk about "guys" in general. The bottom 60% percent of guys struggle with everything Chris mentioned. They are not select. The top 10 percent of guys, the ones that women really want, are the ones who are more likely to date and exercise options rather than commit.
What women want are resources!!!
I don't know a single guy who won't commit to a high value woman, period, if she's that type, she'll have rows of men who want to commit, problem is most women nowadays aren't worth committing too