116. Independence Therapy: Dr. Camilo Ortiz Treats Kids’ Anxiety Through Freedom + Responsibility

In this episode, I dive into a fascinating conversation with Dr. Camilo Ortiz about a groundbreaking concept he coined as "independence therapy." Dr. Ortiz shares insights on how giving kids age-appropriate responsibilities and freedoms can help them overcome anxiety. We discuss the evolution of this idea from classic exposure therapy to empowering kids with independence. How does this therapy work, and what age group is it suitable for? Dr. Ortiz reveals the surprising results and the potential impact on children's anxiety levels.
We explore the importance of allowing kids to experience discomfort, danger, distress, and disappointment to build resilience. Dr. Ortiz shares real-life examples of how parents can support their children in developing independence, highlighting the risks of overprotective parenting. What are the risks of inaction, and how can parents strike a balance between safety and independence? We also touch on the legal aspects of children's independence and the role of parents in fostering self-reliance.
Join us as we uncover the hidden benefits of independence therapy and discuss practical strategies for parents to empower their children. Discover how small changes in parenting approaches can have a significant impact on children's confidence and self-reliance. Are you ready to learn how to support your child's journey towards independence and resilience? Tune in to this episode for valuable insights and actionable tips from Dr. Camilo Ortiz.
Camilo Ortiz, Ph.D., is an associate professor and director of clinical training in the clinical psychology doctoral program at Long Island University-Post. He is also a fellow with the Flourishing in Action project at the Archbridge Institute’s Human Flourishing Lab. His scholarship focuses on parenting, disruptive behavior problems in children, child anxiety, elimination disorders, and cognitive behavior therapy for child and adult psychiatric disorders. He completed a pre-doctoral internship at Montefiore Medical Center and a postdoctoral research fellowship at Stony Brook before joining the faculty at LIU-Post in 2001. He teaches cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT) and evidence-based treatment of children and adolescents. Dr. Ortiz is a licensed psychologist in New York State and maintains a private psychology practice where he sees adults and children. He received a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst.
www.drcamiloortiz.com
x.com/DrCamiloOrtiz
profectusmag.com/treating-chi...
www.nytimes.com/2023/09/04/op...
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00:00 Start
[00:01:38] Independence therapy for anxious kids.
[00:07:16] Children's decline in mixed-age play.
[00:11:17] Independence activities for children.
[00:13:37] Changing parenting dynamics over generations.
[00:18:25] Developing sense of competence.
[00:22:11] Broken bone resilience discovery.
[00:25:28] The four Ds for kids.
[00:28:05] Trust in Independence Activities.
[00:33:42] Interacting with kids in society.
[00:37:41] Parental support and independence.
[00:41:04] The risks of inaction.
[00:44:00] Kids needing practice with danger.
[00:49:53] Independence and life skills.
[00:52:40] Therapist's role in politics.
[00:55:21] Therapist referral service and talks.
[01:00:07] Generational differences and media influence.
[01:03:23] Living life consistent with values.
[01:09:15] Therapists' online presence discussed.
[01:13:16] Gender-Affirming Care.
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[@troll_kin9456]

With the example of the child who was reluctant to play with slightly older children, you should also consider the possibility that he has entirely different reasons for not wanting to play with them and is just giving you reasons that he thinks will get you to drop the subject. I did that a lot when I was very young and adults would question me. Once, a teacher tried to get me to read a classic novel, because I was an advanced reader. I read a few pages and decided I didn't like it, but when the teacher asked me about it, I was ashamed to admit I hadn't read it, so I cried. She asked if I was crying because it was a sad book, so I nodded like "Yeeeeah....let's go with that."

[@sometherapist]

Oh I'm well aware of that haha. He was making an excuse for being shy, because his actual shyness toward other children conflicts with his boisterous personality at home. I wasn't going to stop and explain this when the point was to interview Dr. Ortiz.

[@happynjoyousnfree]

I took a Greyhound Bus from Eureka CA to San Diego CA (about 1400 miles) when I was 14 years old in 1977. I met a couple of creepy dudes but nothing dangerous actually happened. I know I used to hate it when my mother said, "Be careful" instead of, "Have fun!"

[@HebaruSan]

Even as an adult, I prefer "go ahead and try it" myself. If I'm immersed in a task and trying to think through all my options and strategize, outside input helps IF it is pointing out an option I hadn't considered, but not if it's just an opinion about what to do that I might just legitimately disagree with and subsequently prove wrong. There's nothing wrong with submitting an idea to "the test of reality."