One tiny detail that was overlooked but makes a huuuge difference When you gave the example of "it makes sense that you're nervous right now, but we're right here to help you" changing the last part to "and I know you'll be ok" changing that "but" to "and" is such a small detail but truly makes a huge impact. When we make a statement and follow it up with "but xyz" the but invalidates the first half of the statement. When you use "and" it allows both statements to be true.
Thank you for this, so sad that I am from Honduras and its very hard for me to afford this master class but trying my best to learn the most from your videos.
I appreciate that you took time to watch and give feedback. Regarding affordability - feel free to use the contact form on my website and we will see how we can help :-) The link for that should be in the description.
Thank you, this is very helpful. A COVID born baby in 2020, didn't find it hard during his pre-school years. But he's developed sudden anxiety and fears for his new school with no friends around, impacting all our sleep massively and we are stuck in a vicious circle. Will start implementing from today and update how it goes in the coming days and weeks :)
Thanks for commenting and asking. Generally, I’d say that when all accommodations are removed, it’s tough for the anxiety to continue in the same way. For anyone where the anxiety is interfering for months and months, it’s generally recommended to seek out more individualized support through therapy and/or treatment.
How would this anxiety look in the classroom? Is there a video on this? My son has forever been a kid who likes to put things in his mouth and fidget a lot. However now I notice that he has used the word “I feel stressed” (he is 6) and sometimes he will chew on his shirt, in pre-k he would even chew his shoe, and it comes and goes, so it does seem to me like sometimes he chews on things to focus and sometimes it’s because he is feeling anxious. He is now in kindergarten and recently he is touching kids or seeking their attention during lecture, and many times this will annoy the other kids and then he feels not accepted. His fidgeting continues, is losing his things like folder or crayons, so I don’t know if this is because of all the accommodations I’ve been doing at home but now affecting his school behavior. Because of the constant behavioral issues he gets all that negative feedback and is now affecting his self esteem. He will say like “I’m a bad boy” “I’m a clumsy boy” I feel like his teacher is trying to support him, but also accommodating. Do you have any videos on this?
childbehaviorclinic.com/masterclasses/ - excited to share my child anxiety masterclasses with you - go check out everything available! This video (and the masterclass it's based on) represents MANY hours of time in the making, with the goal of teaching you the most essential ideas to help your child with anxiety, so feel free to re-watch as often as you need. Thanks for watching, I hope this video is truly helpful to you!
I am having a bit of a hard time with the difference between “you are okay” and “you are going to be okay”. As a parent I was an unaware and masterful gaslighter. I am working on not being that in my adult relationships with my children and my relationship with my young grand children. Also with naming an emotion for a child. “I can see that you are ______ about leaving me”. Do you have any additional info or point to a video you have already done to help me understand the difference.
You are okay = you are not right in feeling scared (invalidating feeling that are in fact there, wether they have a reason or not). You are going to be okay = at the moment you are scared, but we're here to remind you that everything will be okay and we support you.
Thank you for this extremely valuable information and advice doctor, even though my child is only 18 months old, I’ve applied some of your recommendations and have noticed they are receptive even though they still have rudimentary skills and language.
Thank you so much. What an incredible eloquent delivery on this topic. Very relevant for me now. Will try to implement your recommendations. Thank you for sharing really valuable stuff for free. Means a lot.
What is your advice for someone who’s been abandoned by their abusive parents? I love them because of how big my heart is and it hurts that I can’t talk with them, but I also know that unless they change, then I don’t really want them in my life or my daughter’s life. They don’t want anything to do with me or her. It’s probably for the best, but that still hurts.
Children learn from their caretaker or mom their anxiety. They’re not born with it. Whatever they do they were taught to do. The parents a Irtysh trickles down to the child but no therapist will say this. A single child needs to be spending time by themselves. They’re can play by themselves when they can’t yet walk. You watch from where they can’t see you then walk in but don’t interact but keep doing whatever other thing. They should learn that they’re not the spotlight all the time.
One tiny detail that was overlooked but makes a huuuge difference
When you gave the example of "it makes sense that you're nervous right now, but we're right here to help you" changing the last part to "and I know you'll be ok" changing that "but" to "and" is such a small detail but truly makes a huge impact. When we make a statement and follow it up with "but xyz" the but invalidates the first half of the statement. When you use "and" it allows both statements to be true.
Yes, totally. It was intentional on my part. And I may not have drawn attention to it specifically. 😀 Thanks for reiterating that part!
This video is so helpful. My daughter has anxiety when I am not around. Love this. Thank you so much
Thank you for this, so sad that I am from Honduras and its very hard for me to afford this master class but trying my best to learn the most from your videos.
I appreciate that you took time to watch and give feedback. Regarding affordability - feel free to use the contact form on my website and we will see how we can help :-) The link for that should be in the description.
Thank you, this is very helpful. A COVID born baby in 2020, didn't find it hard during his pre-school years. But he's developed sudden anxiety and fears for his new school with no friends around, impacting all our sleep massively and we are stuck in a vicious circle. Will start implementing from today and update how it goes in the coming days and weeks :)
Thanks so much - glad you found the info helpful. I'd love to hear how it's going. 😊
Wow this video was so helpful and I’ve been that mom in the car line what an eye opener!!! Thank you so much for this incredible helpful content 🫶🏻
What if you remove the accommodations and the anxiety continues.... for months and months....???
Thanks for commenting and asking. Generally, I’d say that when all accommodations are removed, it’s tough for the anxiety to continue in the same way. For anyone where the anxiety is interfering for months and months, it’s generally recommended to seek out more individualized support through therapy and/or treatment.
You hearing us out with queries
Will be of great help
Pl.suggest some solution 👌
We can try it😊
Thank you for this. Such great tools!
Wow great video thanks for the information
How would this anxiety look in the classroom? Is there a video on this?
My son has forever been a kid who likes to put things in his mouth and fidget a lot. However now I notice that he has used the word “I feel stressed” (he is 6) and sometimes he will chew on his shirt, in pre-k he would even chew his shoe, and it comes and goes, so it does seem to me like sometimes he chews on things to focus and sometimes it’s because he is feeling anxious.
He is now in kindergarten and recently he is touching kids or seeking their attention during lecture, and many times this will annoy the other kids and then he feels not accepted. His fidgeting continues, is losing his things like folder or crayons, so I don’t know if this is because of all the accommodations I’ve been doing at home but now affecting his school behavior.
Because of the constant behavioral issues he gets all that negative feedback and is now affecting his self esteem. He will say like “I’m a bad boy” “I’m a clumsy boy” I feel like his teacher is trying to support him, but also accommodating. Do you have any videos on this?
What a superb video Doctor Jacque. Beautifully researched and spoken. Thank you. I hope your channel spreads far and wide.
Thank you so much for your support. Comments like this make my day :-)
Thank you for the info!
P.S
Glad you are talking slower now vs. your videos a year ago 😄
Thanks for sticking around 😊 I appreciate you being here!
Good point pacing is hard !! She speaks so well !! So easy to understand 😊
childbehaviorclinic.com/masterclasses/ - excited to share my child anxiety masterclasses with you - go check out everything available!
This video (and the masterclass it's based on) represents MANY hours of time in the making, with the goal of teaching you the most essential ideas to help your child with anxiety, so feel free to re-watch as often as you need. Thanks for watching, I hope this video is truly helpful to you!
I really find your videos very helpful. So that I can have a better chance at understanding my future kids.
Thanks so much! Glad they’re relatable and useful for you 😊
Please keep making videos.. its really helpful
Thanks so much! And thanks for being here and watching 😊
awesome! Have considered Master Class
Thank you! What questions do you have about the masterclass? There will be some new features coming to it soon too.
I am having a bit of a hard time with the difference between “you are okay” and “you are going to be okay”. As a parent I was an unaware and masterful gaslighter. I am working on not being that in my adult relationships with my children and my relationship with my young grand children. Also with naming an emotion for a child. “I can see that you are ______ about leaving me”. Do you have any additional info or point to a video you have already done to help me understand the difference.
You are okay = you are not right in feeling scared (invalidating feeling that are in fact there, wether they have a reason or not). You are going to be okay = at the moment you are scared, but we're here to remind you that everything will be okay and we support you.
Thank you for this extremely valuable information and advice doctor, even though my child is only 18 months old, I’ve applied some of your recommendations and have noticed they are receptive even though they still have rudimentary skills and language.
So glad it was helpful! Thanks for being here 😊
Thank you so much. What an incredible eloquent delivery on this topic. Very relevant for me now. Will try to implement your recommendations. Thank you for sharing really valuable stuff for free. Means a lot.
Aww thank you for taking the time to share! I appreciate you watching and being here.
Thank you so much❤❤❤❤❤
What is your advice for someone who’s been abandoned by their abusive parents? I love them because of how big my heart is and it hurts that I can’t talk with them, but I also know that unless they change, then I don’t really want them in my life or my daughter’s life. They don’t want anything to do with me or her. It’s probably for the best, but that still hurts.
Yeah😅
Pl answer Dr.
It's a request 😢
Please can you stop overlaying music because it’s really hard to concentrate on what you are saying.
I agree. The music is distracting and interferers with being able to hear
I don’t agree with taking away accommodations. Reinforcement of no one being there for them!
Children learn from their caretaker or mom their anxiety. They’re not born with it. Whatever they do they were taught to do. The parents a Irtysh trickles down to the child but no therapist will say this. A single child needs to be spending time by themselves. They’re can play by themselves when they can’t yet walk. You watch from where they can’t see you then walk in but don’t interact but keep doing whatever other thing. They should learn that they’re not the spotlight all the time.