STOP people pleasing forever by doing these 3 things
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- Опубликовано: 15 июн 2020
- In order to take your POWER back, you must STOP people pleasing at all costs. This video I'll Reveal why you're already 100% worthy, whole & complete and EXACTLY what to do about it.
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To be honest with you, I don't want to do that at all. But uh, if it makes you happy, I'm all about pleasing yourself. I'm down to do it. Please. Like just give me a, give me a little more of that, that validation and that approval. I just get off to it. So good. Ow that kind of hurts. Like I said, please, please like me. Just me. Okay. Please. People pleasing isn't going to get you very far. It's a never ending rabbit hole that you just continue to go down. And in this video I'm going to show you how to finally stop people pleasing, how to take your power back and how in a way to really show up in the world as who you're meant to be.
Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now I'm going to share with you how to not be a people pleaser. No Mo you have, you have had it up to here and you are ready to say, yo, I got to take my power back. I gotta have boundaries. I don't need to make you happy for me to be happy. And here's the, here's the dirty secret about being a people pleaser. By the way too, you want to hear a secret here is people pleasing is a shadow mechanism.
It is a shadow part of ourselves that is trying to gain the approval of other people because we believe deep down that we don't have value for just being us. And the key to this is realizing that that's a barrier. Keeping other people from knowing the real you, even if the real you is a little bit blunt, even if the real you has a quirky sense of humor is says things on their mind.
So this is a way that uh, a way that you are blocking other people from getting to know the real you. Let me tell you something. The real you is probably freaking cool. It's probably way cooler than the people pleaser version of you. You just don't know it yet because you haven't, you haven't been able to express that part of you. So first off, let me say, I am a recovering people pleaser.
There. I said it. Okay, I got this off my chest. I used to be a people pleaser until I realized that it wasn't so fun. I mean, I used to work a sales commission job, so pretty much my job was to please other people by, by providing them shoes that they could then buy. Worked at Nordstrom's for years and then a place called Barneys New York for years, and it was my job to do to do that, but I realized that in a way I actually got some type of sense of value from it, like a sense of worthiness from it.
I was like, I'm adding value. I'm pleasing, therefore I'm worthy. And that's what I realized as I started to do more shadow work. Now, first off, let me share this with you as well. People pleasing is normally a side effect of guests that you barely saw right here, parent pleasing. If growing up you had very critical parents, they were telling you what to do, they reprimanded you a lot, or you had to gain their love in some way.
What you may find is that then that pattern after they're not, they're not, you know, you're not in the same house as them anymore. You're then in relationships and then you'll find it that you're trying to make them happy and you're trying to please them and maybe that's taken away your own happiness as well because you may be doing things you don't really want to do.
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heyyy everyone! here's the "nice guy" video I mentioned above, enjoy! ruclips.net/video/86zrElu8F5E/видео.html
My friend, my brother. You give me strength🔥 your positivity is what's truly gonna save this world. The 21st brings great change. Thank you
Great video bro
Just watched like 5 hours worth of Bashar and Esther Hicks lol. Thanks Aaron! Epic!
Thanks for mentioning 'Bashar' the other day, Universe didn't mean for me to watch him until now, Lol.
Could you please tlak on "How To Treat Others", Aaron? Thanks!
My opinion is the one I value over EVERY OTHER PERSON IN THE WORLD AND UNIVERSE...
One of the easiest ways I've found to stop people pleasing and seeking approval is this: when you meet someone, instead of thinking "how can I get this person's approval?", think "how can THIS PERSON get MY approval?" -- remember that YOU are the star of your own movie and everyone else just makes cameos💫✌️
Yea but what if they're thinking the same thing lolol
Kennedy1op LOL literally what happens next
Everyone has its own movie yet many people r not grateful for Thier own movie like thy always want more and takes over someone else movie now the key is don't let anyone take over your movie you r the star so act like it that's my point.
well said Michael
We are all the lead actors/actresses in our play called life.
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner” [Lao Tzu]. People pleasing is rooted in fear and is focused on earning love. Real love does not accommodate fear 😊
Spot on my brother
Preach🙏💗
That is a great comment thx
Moral of the story
1. Know your worth 💰
2. Don’t use others to validate you 💪
3. Your external identity Is NOT your reality🧘🏻♂️
4. Practice unconditional love ❤️
5. Balance your masculine and feminine 🌊
-be yourself
-please yourself
-seek approval from yourself
-not care what others think of you
This is how I stopped people pleasing
Once you stop pleasing other people, you make it easier to manifest anything that you desire. Please yourself and work within and it shall reflect on the outside. Peace 🙏🏽
Nice
namaste vershon!
Kennedy1op I see what you did there
May all your dreams manifest ❤️
Yours as well my friend 😊
Thank you friend keep on following your passion and you will succeed
right back at ya !
build it at home thanks for your words ❤️
I love this postive comments
People pleasing is a big hurdle and realization for abused/neglected kids and empaths. It's also a big deal and brave to admit that we are people pleasers. Lots of people try to take advantage of our kindness. Remember, number one is the most important. Great video! Lots of us need to hear this.
Females raised in patriarchal households and religions as well
I love your profile pic-
Last Unicorn!!
@@Psalmchild thank you, my unicorn friend. 💙🦄🌿✨
Biggest hurdle for an abused empath
"It's not that i hate or dislike people in general.
I just value my time and energy so much that I've decided how to respond & when respond.
Women Who Run With the Wolves is such an incredible book that helped me heal my deep mother wounds from an abusive/narcissistic mother ❤️ And healing this taught me boundaries and self worth which in turn eliminated the people pleasing patterns that I was programmed with xx
Thank you for the recommendation please who is the author
@@Itssimplyaisha Women who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Omg. This is a synchronicity. Today I wa showing through my book shelf and saw this book. My friend left it here.
Kindness is not the same as niceness. Much deeper, eternal
You make a point I now feel seeing this comment that nice is taught to us kindness is in our soul. My soul is full my life is rich XXX
Aaron, thank you, I just had an epiphany, and tears rolled down my cheeks. I just realized why I had three failed marriages on top of many other failed relationships. All my life, I was a people pleaser and when I dared to be me the relationships wouldn’t last. Well that’s it, it’s over, for the rest of my life I will be me and nothing else. I doesn’t mean that I’ll be rude but I’ll stick to who I really am. No more Mr. Nice Guy. I’m reclaiming my own power and taking my own course now. Thank you again.
Read the book “No more and nice guy” it’ll change your life.
E Higgins thank you, I’ll look for it.
E Higgins did you mean No more Mr. Nice Guy? I found a book on Amazon with that title, the author is Dr. Robert Glover.
E Higgins I ordered the book on Amazon and received it today, I just started reading it. Thanks again.
@@darhmakarma4838 Keep us updated. I know that there are a lot of men who benefited from reading that book. Good luck with everything. I hope you can find real love and real peace.
You are either letting the matrix drain your energy, or you are using that energy to create
The greatest horror of a people pleaser is when his help is not needed.
Felt this to the core
That’s co dependency
Validation and approval seeking is conditioned into our subconscious mind between the ages of 1 to 7 and we will live our whole life being people pleasers to get the validation. Awareness is the Key ! :) Namaste and Love
it’s innate isn’t it.. kinda hard to change our biology but i guess self awareness is very useful
@@gabrieljohnson484 I don't believe it's innate. It's hammered into us by parents and teachers. And... certain people more than others
People should seek approval from themselves. Internal approval
I have always felt as though I am responsible for over people happiness (my parents, friends ect). But actually I just need to focus on how I am impressing myself!
One day I made the decision to stop craving my parent's love and just accept what is. Since then, I gave myself that love and discovered thats where true love comes from.
I also saw my parental conditioning patterns within my relationships. My parents didn't promote my self expression and many times halted it. I attracted relationships where I didn't feel seen or heard, and couldn't be myself. Amazing once you make the associations and break out of the pattern.
I was neglected all my childhood/& anything I tried to express was criticized and shut down with verbal abuse. In older years I expressed myself (liberal, etc) completely the opposite of my family and they all turned on me....so it’s a double issue...when I finally was strong, they no longer liked me. I had to leave them behind.
I feel you. Unfortunately sometimes we have to make those tough decisions to do what's best for ourselves. Everyone is on their journey individually, so you gotta put yourself first. How others react to you is on them. Good for you.
Did you live in my house with my parents too?? Lol. Thank you for sharing this, this is ME.
@@kimberlyland LOL ♡ soul sisters. And thank you for being you :)
Nata1ia thank you 🙏
My parents adopted a special needs boy when I was 7 and ever since then I felt like I had to be the perfect kid to make up for his behavior. It surfaced the other day when I said something minor that upset my mom and I burst into tears from guilt. It’s crazy how it’s coming to light now. Thank you for this video 💕
We cannot save anyone from themselves, but you can give them encouragement. I also am a people-pleaser, and I know that it doesn't work. People take advantage more and more and lose all respect for you. Thank you for pointing this out to me. What I got out of it was thinking that I was the better person, thereby shoring up the ego.
Totally agree.. Much love&light💗💫
Needed this. Quite synchronistic that this popped into my inbox actually lol
happy to hear :)
Me too, made me feel better about a work dilemma I’m facing.
I needed it too. Even though I feel I've got over this, I'm still having to watch myself at times. Thank you Aaron🙏🙏💖
Its took me till recently to finally start getting out of the trap of being a people pleaser. I'm now gaining my independence, doing my own thing and as you say, starting to become the star of my own movie.
Keep up the good work, your videos have helped me massively!
Yeah! The intro was funny! Something that helped me shift out of people pleasing into self love was a quote I saw somewhere. It said “I no longer allow other people’s opinions of me determine my self worth!” That was a game changer for me. Once I sat with it and then applied it, everything shifted! 💜🌟
Being a “nice guy” isn’t the most fair approach your your mental health and spirituality😌
appreciate you bro!
You explained my entire family. I actively tell them that what ever I do, it's going to be because I choose to
I don't know the key to success but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.....
-bill cosby
Gotta love yourself before trying to love someone else! I was that guy at one point (people pleaser) Grow thru what you Go thru! 1Love & Namaste sir!
SO Important . i stopped caring what others thought of me , its liberating folks . just give more then you take
Become the blessing that you're looking for in this univedse...when you become love it will surround you.....
And the sad thing is that every time I express the real me people don't like it. And it's not that I mean or rude or anything I'm just honest. I have been shamed and criticized so much for just speaking my truth.
Same thing happens with me!
And me
It's not a coincidence we're all women
Women have been taught they are more valuable when they are obedient and agreeable and soft spoken 🙄
The incredible thing is it doesn't matter how much they like you ❤ it's HARD and I'm definitely definitely not even close to being out of it yet, but
Being a woman is so difficult in this way. Men are never expected to conform
I dont hold much of a desire to be understood by those who dont understand themselves. That would make them a dumby, and me dumber for agreeing with whatever ideas they concoct...
Love this.
Great way to state it
At one time, I couldn't say No to ANYONE, someone asked me for something or to do something for them even if I really didn't want to do it, I would do it, if I could. I didn't care if they liked me or not. It was I felt like I should or I would feel guilty or bad about myself. I don't know where I got this from because my parents were loving and supportive and kind people. I lost them though when I was 18. I ended up losing my home and bring homeless for years because of my not being able to say No. There is allot of people out there that look for people like us to take advantage of. I have grown so much since then and now I can say No kindly and not feel badly about it but it was a struggle and I am Grateful for this lesson. How much you Love and respect yourself is how much you will be loved from others. Accepting yourself is key to make this transformation. The best thing I did was stop caring about what other people think about me. I learned that being in the street for almost 5 years there's so much judgement out there & you feel it, I knew who I was and I was walking my path and came out the other side of a hard won lesson that I'm now grateful for. Thankyou Aaron Doughty for your videos I've been watching you for years since my awaking in Jan. 2017. Aloha
I agree - my life has gotten so much better once I stopped caring what others thought and just did whatever I wanted instead! So true, thank you for what you do Aaron :)
If you are nice, you cause problems down thre road when you stand your ground. You shock people. Then, the people you thought were your friends you find are not. People who would have been your friend are gone because they thought you were wishy washy. JUST WHAT I've noticed. Finding balance is the 🔑. Hard after abuse.
Thnx Aaron for this! Showed it to my kids too, and now they know why they are always so nice to other people. Their father, my ex husband, is a narcist, and me and the kids all the time tried to please him. I stopped that years ago but still pleasing other people.
This was our wake-up call. So thnx for sharing 😍🙏
This video was one of a big confirmation of why
I was getting a spiritual messages to be more courageous in life
Thank you, Aaron :D
Sending positive energies to him and anyone who reads this comment 😁😁😁
LMFAO the intro 🤣💕
LOL
When you try to please everyone you end up pleasing no one! Thanks for your videos, they've been helping me so much!
I was raised to serve others at my own expence and abandoned for being one
Did anyone else notice the white lights behind Aaron at the 17:00 mark? They are going crazy behind him. 🤍🖤♥️ Great video Aaron! I appreciate you! 🙏🏼💕
Yes! Was like, whoa, why aren't there more comments about that lol
Good catch! I wonder if that was a spirit orb?
When you are lazy to clean dust...
But anyway it looks mystical :)
@consciousearthintuition I know right! 🥰
@yoginipatrice that’s what I was thinking! The way they moved are magical! 🤩🙌🏼
Right on target 🎯. I had to help my husband a little bit with this. He took a lot of abuse from his parents and didn’t realize it. It’s so important to embrace your masculine characteristics. It’s OK to be whoever you are 100%
Can you tell us about how you helped him?
@@clapton79 It's kind of a long story. It involves how his mother was treated poorly by her own father. So she needs healing. Interesting how trauma and ways of thinking affect our perspective
Seeking for validation on the outside and not receiving it,it is one of the root cause of suffering. Indeed the key to reveal your true authenticity and actually unleash your true potential is to let go of the need to please anyone apart from you . Everyone on the outside is an aspect within. I believe everytime you're pulled to please someone, ask yourself which aspect in you are they? Then please that part of you 😊✨
Amazing content bro 😊✨
I needed this!
Appreciate the video frfr
This was awesome Aron
This is fire, brother Aaron.
Bingo! You nailed it bro!
We appreciate your content
I really needed to see this. Literally almost in tears bc this (was) literally my LIFE. from relationships to work to family always been a people pleaser. Learning to self reflect alot &check myself. Everyday I watch a video from your channel &get my lesson for the day❤️You're changing lives keep doing what you're doing 🙏🏾
hi
At the perfect timing 💓💓💓I was feeling low and I really needed this💖
Thanks a lot.. Lots of love
Validation Approval and Love-thats what the people pleasing wants.
Great video once again. Thanks Aaron✊🏾
Yo, I’ve had it up to here!! Thanks Aaron.
Wow and thank you Aaron
Wow! Aaron, this was absolutely fantastic! Thank you for this! “My value is innate” is my new affirmation!
Awesome video Aaron. Important message for sure 😊🙏💖
I'm so glad you are touching on this my friend!! Keep it up champ.. You are opening minds and eyes ..
I promise I needed this video!! Your content is so addicting! Keep up the great work!
I really needed to hear this! Thank you so much for always being authentic and honest with your videos. Even when it’s ‘hard to hear it’, I need to know how to improve myself so I can keep growing. ❤️ Thank you.
I appreciate so much you sharing your story. So much of what you went through is what my sister and I did as well. It really gives me hope that I can one day be free of these chains. I watch your videos all the time and they help me so much.
This really hit home👍🏼
Thank you Aaron🙏 this was so valuable!
Thank you Aaron for this video
Seriously!! Ya friggin nailed it! Great message thank you!!
Amazing! Really needed to hear this, thank you 🙏🏻😀
Hells yeah brother. Love your content. Been a subscriber from 25k ✌️
Nice head band Aaron !! Namaste 🙏🏽
I am so grateful for your and your content. Every video you make applies to my life. Because of you, ive been able to detach myself from the toxic relationship ive been in for 6 years. Im so excited about my future more than ever! I cant thank you enough!
The best video I've seen on this topic 🙏🏻❤️ Thank you!
Thank you Aaron, as always to the point.
I have been a people pleaser for my entire life. I have just started saying no. I was drained and depressed from always giving and not receiving.
When you say no to others, you say yes to you
Thank you very much Aaron
Thank you! 💗
Aaron, I'm very thankful for your channel and your openness with us. Our childhoods were very similar so it helps me on a deeper level.
Best video ! Loved the content.
So powerful Aaron thank you!! Allowing myself to feel the validation, not because of someone else. Golden ✊ taking my life back. Blessings!!
love it!
I think this is the most powerful video of yours I've seen 🔥🔥🔥🔥🙌🏽🥳 As a healer, you are speaking STRAIGHT UP FACTS!
Thank you man!
You seem so much different from when I first started watching your videos like 4/5 months ago, in like the best way. Thanks for another amazing video!
That was really helpful
You are awesome! Thanks for sharing 🤗❤
Thank you for your service and value.
This video is synchronized with what I wont allow, just today. It's a good conformation for me! Thank you Aaron 🙏
Thank you!
Love this video ! I used to people please a lot. In life I figured out how to use this "People Pleasing" as a tool. Being able to differentiate the ideas and actions and being able to use it only when necessary, but mostly around new people. Showing this way to lead by example with new people I meet and the younger kids. Thanks Aaron for your very helpful video. Much love, light and compassion. 💗👍
I please myself with my right hand.
Thank you so much! You have helped me in many ways. I appreciate you and your work. ❤️
Thank you for this!!🙏
Yay Aaron almost a million subs. ... I’ve watched your following grow and it’s much deserved 💕
good stuff... thanks for your vulnerability and sharing your story with us ....
This is Awesome! I had worked on this in the past...apparwntly still have some more work to release this behavior. Yes~ please dive deeper on how to heal and release this unproductive behavior. Love and Light Blessings 💓💥
Awesome vid 🌞
I didn't expect this to be relevant to me, but it was incredibly enlightening. Thank you
Wow! Law of Attraction!! you just showed me my own awaking from this level of people pleasing. I didn’t know that was what this was, but yay!!! I have not jumped on the band wagon for a lot of things happening in the world because I know what I want. I am defining who I am and I am aligning for my own desires and that will benefit all. Really cool stuff!! Thanks bro! 😎
You are great!
You are so relatable, its like you are telling a part of my story but you are the male version. You're Awesome thanks so much.❤
I definitely needed this video thank you so much! I can’t wait to get home from work & watch it. Namaste 🙏🏻 ❤️😊
I so needed this! done being people pleasing!
I don't know that I will get tired of hearing your back story. It has always been a part of what drew me to your channel. The "real talk"
that you share about what happened, how it affected you and what you have done to heal from it is authentic and it resonates.
Thank you
Growing up in my home and family of origin we where not allowed to talk about what really went down. Ever.
That was not safe for anyone.
I'm not alone in this dynamic, many endure it. Part of waking up for me is realizing it's ok be transparent no matter what the reaction from others people is, even if they are family.
Thank you for this video.
I appreciate the material. Especially now.
I'm setting emotional and financial boundaries with my young adult children for the 1st time and they are Freak-ing out. I get it. They aren't used to this. Guess what?
Me iether. Lol. 4realtho..
Today I was just thinking today...
If someone thinks that removing their approval of me from my life is supposed frighten me away from making my own independent decisions and choices?
Then they have largely underestimated the importance of thier opinion in my life.
It's okay not to approve of my choices, certainly !
But ultimately ?
I have to live with them and their consequences.
So you can certainly disagree but I won't allow you to hurt me just because you don't like my choices or perhaps you don't yet understand them.
I'm tired of saying yes when i want to say no.
They are adults and?
Moms tired.
Thanks again for the content. Timely as usual , when I pop in.
You upload .... I watch 💕thank you Aaron for sharing all this with us 💕 love u man
To thine own self be true! 🦋 thank you for sharing all this wonderful insight. Your life experience and thank you for being so brave! It’s Very helpful to hear from other people how the early struggles actually shaped the adult we become. Namaste!💐