As soon as I saw this video pop up, I clicked. I’ve been worried I’ve been accidentally love bombing for a long time now. Thanks for all you do to educate people ❤
@@Psych2go I need some help. I'm in a difficult situation where I truly wanted and want to make her happy, and maybe it was too much. It all started when She tried to stop loving me because she thought it would be healthier for both of us. When I asked why she thought it was unhealthy, she mostly said she wouldn't be "good" for me. Yet, when I asked if she wanted to be in a relationship with me, she almost always said yes or even begged me not to leave her. She started judging me for almost everything I did. When I wasn't around, she treated me coldly and looked at me with expressions like ._. or -.-. Later, she realized this behaviour was damaging both of us, and we got back together, even better than before. However, I told her it still hurt, and she promised to heal it. But sometimes, her cold and teasing behaviour continued, which made me doubt if she actually loved me. She often didn't respond to my questions, making me constantly fear abandonment because I couldn't figure out where we stood. This led me to constantly ask if she loved me. Sometimes I got a loving response, other times I was ignored, causing me significant stress. I told her about this and finally got something I could hold onto, only to be ignored a few days later, even though I knew she had time to respond. When I asked her the next day why she didn't respond, she said, "You had chess." This confused me because I missed her and got no reply. Maybe she felt pressured to answer me, but I just needed to know if she would provide the promised support or not. I was trying to build a healthy relationship, but perhaps she didn't realize that I'm not needy, I just need time to heal. So my question is: Was this love bombing?
Being the first like is insane Edit: I’m glad that “Love bombing” isn’t what I expected it to be, because I’m very affectionate person and was expecting to be like repremanded for being too clingy😅
@@Psych2gosome of these I’ve had happen but only with 2 people… and they were both abused and I felt like they needed the love and reassurance? It’s not ALWAYS love bombing, but it can be. I’ve straight said “I do NOT want any of my compliments etc to come across as love bombs cuz I know you’ve dealt with that” and quickly got the answer “Yer not doing that🤷🏼♂️ yer sappy and a goofball sometimes but no it never comes across that way” though now I think on it maybe they were? Not even consciously cuz I got pressured into a lot… Oh snap that pressuring yeah I’ve had that used.. I’m just one who listens so I hear if they need reassurance so I will give it, but I won’t “bomb” them. Just be honest cuz it’s so rare 90% of making any relationship work is honesty, communication and compromise
@@Psych2go it was through a friend who told me about love bombing and it’s completely unintentional but once I’d learnt more about it through videos such as these and am learning to adapt and help mine and others situation
I don't pressure anyone or show disrespect for their boundaries, but I can definitly move fast, sometimes it feels like I try to move too fast, and also I look for validation a bit too much to my own taste. It is bordeline love bombing and I agree, feels horrible to realize that. I guess it's something I'm going to talk about with the girl I'm seeing. Just so we're both aware. I've always assumed I knew what I wanted so I was able to move faster. Maybe I come accross like that and it would explain a lot of things.
Love bombing is such an energy vampire to the person on the receiving end. It can make them lose their individuality and leads to being trapped and controlled, especially if the person is an empath who struggle to say no. It can be dangerous..
@@Psych2go well I basically always wanted to be around them and would be hurt if they left to do anything like watch a movie or to eat dinner ect. I always wanted to be around them and I would always come to them and ask them, "don't you like being my friend? Why are u always leaving me?" . Despite that being rather unhealthy id say. I think that the thing I'm doing differently now is by noticing the signs of unhealthy attachments and just telling myself that they're a person too and they need time to themselves too. I mean 😭my friend doesn't talk to me anymore but I think I'm still healing and becoming better.
I'm sorry to hear about your BPD. People pleasing isn't the same as love bombing. Also I just wanted to say you have my compassion, I hope you're doing therapy.
@@reneegardner2286 My ex had bpd and it was very traumatic for me, she had Quiet BPD. Although she said she loved me, I struggle to believe it because of how I was treated. As a recovering co-dependent myself, I thought I loved my ex too. As much as I want to keep telling myself that, I don't think I did love her in a healthy way at least, because I didn't respect myself enough when she mistreated me.
I also have borderline and it's just not easy I feel bad all the time cuz I think I'm being to needy and most of the time I just feel like everybody hates me
Seriously... I'm overly concerned with being healthy to the point where I question whether my entire personality is just toxicity bubbling up from trauma. I will never be perfect and these videos continue to make me feel like its not even worth it to be in a relationship if I end up hurting people by just loving someone... Is this the intended feeling?
take your time. i used to find it too overwhelming. maybe figure out why it makes you feel overwhelmed? perhaps affection is too much and it makes you uncomfortable, or you feel nervous as if you'll be judged for your relationship? establish a boundary with your partner (once you feel ready to have one) relating to what makes you uncomfortable or overwhelmed. again, this is so important, take your time. no rushing. good relationships come with slow building. it took me 6-7 months to get really close to my lover and then i felt i was ready, yk? dating a stranger nearly never works out, in my experience. if you let it play out, i'm sure you'll find someone.
@@spencerkerkhof8356this video specifically can't define your relationship and how you make people feel. it's simply like a symptoms list. they don't necessarily mean one thing or another. take time to see what you want from a partner. if you feel like showering someone with affection is what you want, you'll need to find someone who can take it without feeling overwhelmed. communication is key. (sorry, this is rushed)
@@moxxii_mittz I'm not used to providing nor receiving affection so it did make me feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I felt pressured because I didn't want to hurt my ex-partner’s feelings and it made me feel guilty. Thank you for your advice! :>
I was love bombed by someone I had a crush on months ago, but I honestly didn't knew what Love Bombing was, and I didn't even know it was a thing. We would text and call every single day. Play games together, sleep in call every night, say goodmorning and goodnight texts, talk about anything and everything, all that good stuff. I personally wanted to take things really slow with this person, but she insisted that she wanted to be my girlfriend like the first 2 weeks of knowing eachother. I told her we should go slow and get to know eachother some more and we can move from there. I started to develop feelings for her around the 1 month mark, and it got even stronger in the 2 month mark. But she slowly became uninterested even though I know I've done nothing wrong. I've only been respectful, kind and thoughtful to her but she lost feelings. She's left me on read for 5 days now and I see her online in games and reposting on tiktok. She left me to bite the dust and my strong feelings for her are still there. It really sucks, and it really hurt the first 3 days. But im slowly just starting to feel better bit by bit. I feel even better knowing that she love bombed me thanks to this video.
thank you for putting out this video! i’m not a very materialistic person, so i LOVE to give and give and give. it hadn’t ever crossed my mind that it may be “toxic” so thank you for enlightening everyone:)
I notice I was mildly love bombing by being clingy thankfully I realized it was because of the trauma of how my previous relationship ended and it caused me to have major trust issues. Now I am talking to a counselor and it is helped so much. I think a little love bombing is normal because unfortunately the rules to love aren't always clear, but when you catch yourself, how you handle it is what matters.
I really think some of these apply to neurodivergent people differently, some of us do this stuff with only genuine love and care and would love to receive it back, it tends to be NTs that start getting weirded out or uncomfortable.
That's exactly how my online boyfriend used to act so i thought he was being manipulative which made me break up with him but after hearing this I'm starting to doubt my decision :(
This can be accompanied by some very unsavoury manipulation on their end, and could be a big weight on you, even if it isn't intentional, it can still be harmful
@@TheChainTVgenuinely who asked? Regardless of how it was supposed to sound, it comes off as bashing their choices. If thats what you do then cool, but shoving it in others faces just because theirs didnt work is a dbag move.
What matters in any of this -is the intent. I’m a giver. I love hard. My intent is the best for those I love. I want them to prosper and flourish. So yeah-it’s the intent that exposes the motives. Some of us love to love.
I talk about my deal breakers and expectations early on in the relationship, which people seem to view as love bombing, but it turns out it’s not, and I was lied to 😢
I am very ashamed of myself, ruined my relationship with an amazing girl because of my immature actions like the discussed ones in the video. Three years later and i still can't forgive myself.
I was too naive and never experienced anyone "love bombing" me before because I was previously married for a long time. After listening to this everything makes total sense now. I did have lots of boundaries up in fear of being taken advantage of and not knowing at the time he did everything to make me deep down feel guilty. Always reassuring me everything was going to be okay and feeding into my insecurities making me believe he was going to do everything in his power to make me feel safe. All the gifts, trips and compliments can make you completely blind to what's really going on.
Timestamp! -0:46 Fast move -1:56 Constantly seeking validation -3:13 not ok with boundaries -4:06 Unconcious smothering them -4:51 Pressuring them into decisions
I've been a victim of love bombing and its been difficult trying to get back into a relationship, especially with i already have alot of attachments and abandonment/separation anxiety due to past trauma and my mental disorder. I love these videos so much, they have helped me so much with healing and moving on and what do ya know. My current lover watches these videos too.
I was really scared to see videos like this that put the "wrong" on me since I come from a home were the fault always lands on my lap but recently I have got the strength to face it, it's hard and hurts a bit but is necessary and will bring healthier people to my life as well as making me healthier too
Iam in a situation like this. I love romantic gestures however am always careful of potential manipulation as this is how I tick. So I love to take my time. Interesting, being called “boring” as this couldn’t be further from the truth. So, to ensure it’s a healthy relationship time and natural development of things is crucial. Good you mentioned that love bombing can have unconscious reasons. Therapy is always great to support yourself. If it’s genuine love, it will pass the test of time ❤️
The first one seems like a hard balance. Like you want the person to know that you see them as a potential life partner, and you want to make your dreams for the future known, but you also don't want to love bomb them on accident by painting them into your fantasy as if it was set in stone.
I thought the point was that it's too soon to be thinking of them as a life partner before the solid foundation has had time to develop. That's why it discussed idealization: you don't really know them yet.
I'm so glad you promoted the book Attached. It's brilliantly insightful. I highly recommend learning about attachment styles and the way they affect your relationships. I just wish I'd know this stuff years ago.
I always thought I was “love bombing,” but it turns out I don’t do most of these things. The only things I move fast with are being exclusive from the first date, but we already got to know each other for months beforehand, so that's not a red flag. I seek validation sometimes, and I used to do so more often, but not as much anymore. I respect my partner’s boundaries and don’t pressure him into anything. Sometimes I worry I’m smothering him, but he says I’m not and that I’m really attractive 🥰 I’m just passionate about my partner, and then it seems to come off as love bombing to some people when it’s really just infodumping.
I learned a several years ago that I have a tendency to do this in my friendships since I have an anxious attachment style but I've been deliberately working on this since learning it and it's helped prevent me from scaring people off somewhat Though this refresher is helpful It's important for me to continue being mindful and check myself Even though it's not intentional manipulation I am aware that people can feel pressured to entertain me and I've been working on my communication to make things clear to others that there is no obligation to reciprocate or want the things I do
My previous partner was love bombing and im so glad i found ot out. They moved the relationship forward way too quickly, and they were always seeking validation. I broke up with them because i didnt love them anymore, and also because they were overwhelming me with how needy they were, and how quickly they were moving things. I havent found anyone else yet, but now i know what to look out for thanks to you ❤
I've been loved bomb in every relationship 😢 But I'm glad I'm not in one anymore. I see the signs now, And this video is very important to me and helpful. Thank you for this
Yeah, I was love bombing without realising it, I have BPD and the fear of loss is so huge that I didn't wanted to lose him like all the others. At least I have seen this video so I can do better, thank you so much.
I'm pretty sure I do the seek of validation and the gift smothering, but I don't think I expect too much of them, like "here, I saw this and thought of you." and the validation thing... I'm pretty sure I'm just that insecure
I'm having a really difficult time with my gf rightnow. As soon as i saw this video, i noticed that i was love bombing her without even noticing. Thanks for this video and i hope it will help a lot of other people with the same problem❤
I was being loved bomb. Thankfully I was able to recognize it. And shortly he showed his true colors... He kept gaslighting me, he made me feel like i was crazy.... I cut that off asap
I had this brought up while talking to my bestie/love interest months ago, because I can be affectionate, anxious, and a bit clingy. I was assured by them that I don't have a manipulative bone in my body; that I care too much about their opinion to try to guilt or change them, just try to find a balance between both our wants.
Yeah I'm recovering from people-pleasing and codependency. I definitely did these things without thinking. To be loved and not rejected. I wish i could apologize to the women i wronged. But then it could be a form of control from me again to be loved. Haaa this shit is a vicious circle
Love bombing is a pattern of deliberately showering someone with gifts and/or affection, then becoming cold, pushy, or abusive after they commit to you. The purpose is to put in effort to keep them around and putting up with you, not to love them for their own sake. The honeymoon period and anxious attachment style are not love bombing. The abuser will disregard boundaries, but not during the sweet part of the love bombing phase, as that would defeat the purpose. Love bombing is the tactful reintroduction of the honeymoon phase to convince an abuse victim to not run away or for getting them to come back. Boundary pushing alienates, so it's not a part of the sweet phase. The sweet phase of love bombing appears identical to good love, that's by design. You can't recognize love bombing by it's sweet phase, as Psych2go is trying to do here. Love bombing can only be identified by making note of the broader patterns to discover the intentions behind the sweet treatment: is it genuine love, or is it just concessions to keep you around.
When I saw the notification I told myself to watch it becuz I was worried that I was love bombing my partner. And after watching I realized I was, without knowing it. I feel rlly bad Abt it but now I know what to do to not do it anymore. Thanks Psych2go. y'all are a big help. 💜
Love this channel. A guy tried the ring and house routine. I thought he was in love or in a sense of territorial concern. It was burdensome and annoying. I looked at him and said heres my opals, diamonds are for men. Here is my house I'm busy making money at two jobs FOR MY HOUSE, so im quite busy with those items already. He never bought a house or anything at all. He was a drifter. Nothing more. Upon my suspicions I did a background check on him, he had a criminal record in his teenage years I was in college pursuing my degree. Wow. Not a couple. Get cold with love bombers. Remind them you are important to YOURSELF. You can provide what they future faking. Months later the guy quit following up with dating demands. Whenever anybody fills you with confusion, get out of there.
Im currently in a relationship, lets just say this video has helped me improve as a lover, Ive done 3/5 things in this video and I mentally cover it up by saying Im just too clingy or my partner is being picky/antsy. This video was so helpful for me to address my problems and become a much better person thx psych2go
I noticed that I do seek validation a lot, and while I do care about people's boundaries, I sometimes don't notice them / don't realize I've crossed them.
When I was watching the video, there are some similar things that I've been doing lately, and it made me realize that I was love booming my crush this whole time
I used to be very cheesy with a partner I had a long time ago. It reached the point where I was being annoying without noticing and I didn't stop until she told me. Be careful if you happen to be like that.
Man, how did you know my girlfriend just recently broke up with me saying she's sorry for not feeling as passionate as i do? I don't blame neither of us, but it got me thinking if i overdo things...
I sincerely hope I'm not love-bombing, I have a best friend that I absolutely adore so I've been messaging them regularly and suggesting regular meetups. They've been struggling a lot with their mental health and I've been doing my best to be there for them, but one of our other close friends has brought up a couple of times (jokingly I think) that it looks more like I'm taking away their individuality and showing favouritism and all that jazz. It's really worrying me now because I know I'm a valuable and important friend to them and they do benefit from my support and good wisdom, but now I'm freaking out about whether or not I'm MAKING them need me.
It seems like I'm doing a decent job so far at not doing these things! I always try to be respectful and mindful of my friends and their personal space, as well as their lives. :)
Timestamps 1). Fast move 0:45 2). Constantly seeking validation 1:56 3). Not ok with boundaries 3:13 4). Unconscious smothering them 4:06 5). Pressuring them into decisions 4:51 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
i’ll be honest i think i did this to my two very very close friends, and seeing this made me think that i’m just genuinely a terrible person - which aligns with my usual belief anyways, the only problem is that i dont understand why they still care about me, what part about me deserves forgiveness for such terrible things and manipulative behaviours that i did and had??? it makes no sense, if all i did was love bomb then why do they still care about me when all i did was in hopes of them staying and for my own selfish desires?? its just not genuine, none of all of our friendship was genuine, i am a bad person and they should leave it at that
Interesting. I cant say i love bomb but the example at the end is def something I've done in the past especially in the beginning of the relationship. Mostly due to an anxious attachment style. Now, it's better and i can communicate my worry more objectively (also thanks to this channel in part)
Im watching this because i like to very frequently compliment my partner and have been worrying about potentially love bombing for a while. Consequently im always making sure i dont cross a boundary or something and frequently ask if she’s comfortable with my complimenting. Still worry about it tho😅
I do all of that (Not with bad intentions) But not with my partner but rather my friends I get periods of romantacising one particular friend And then being disappointed (eventually and inevitably) if they don't uphold to my surreal expectations 😅
Maybe it's a cultural difference, but I don't understand why gifts can become a manipulation. When you're giving a gift, you are expecting nothing in return from the other person. Unless you are doing it with the aim to ask a favour, in that case it's not love but trade.
Polygamy is even worse. It is selfish to me one person or a couple find the need to be in a relationship with multiple partners when it isn't apart of a culture.
@@jayc7249 I know that. My question is more like why should anyone care about what the society thinks about it? I can live with one partner in a society with polygamy, and I should be able to live with more than one partner in a society with monogamy. Society should not care about private stuff like relationships as long as there is nothing amorally happening
Can you do a: Signs you are a hyper-independent person | video? btw i really love your channel as it really helped to find my self in what should i change to be better! Thank you! ❤❤
Bro i did some of these really recently and it kind of ruined my relation with them a bit, though i tend to believe alot of these can start by having certain expectation about how relationships should go based off of your previous relationships or what you think it should be like (or both). Really can mess you up, i wish i knew this sooner.
I’ve got to understand this video a lot especially from past relationships In a way love bombing but not recognizing it till seeing this video it’s a good learning curve to understand for new relationships , and also to look back on . man I wish my ex can see this 😂she actually got me into your videos . But again great educational video on explaining it .
I hate it when people do a romantic gesture and I later realise they were just being friendly like pls draw the line cuz now im confused whether they are being friendly or romantic
I am an anxious attachment. I get so excited at the beginning. I wanna know their struggles what brings them joy. Their love languages up front. I am no problem sharing that kind of info about myself, but it can be too intense for others. What is the healthy time line that relationships are supposed to go through? Don’t tell me whatever feels right. I’m an open book, but most people arnt like that.
I cant belive im love bombing my partner😢 I feel like such a terrible person. I never really intend to hurt him in anyway. He was my first ever lover and the first person that ever took care of me like this. That is why when we got together i promised myself i will shower him with all the love i could ever give. To the point he doesn't have to second guess my love for him. I didn't realize that because of my love for him. I was ruining our relationship. I always thought that our relationship is weakening is because he always felt so distant. But now i realized that the reason was me. Im so toxic. I feel sick
Dude that is totally me. But dont all borderlines love bomb? Its so natural tho.. it might be part of why the relationships tend to last 3-4 months tops:) thanks this video helps immensely
What are your thoughts on this video style?
Its good! As its so simplified!
They are always so good :)
It’s cool! I like it! :D
I love it!
i luv it and can you do a video about panic attacks?
As soon as I saw this video pop up, I clicked. I’ve been worried I’ve been accidentally love bombing for a long time now. Thanks for all you do to educate people ❤
Thank you for your love and support! Hope this video helps you learn more about love bombing! :)
THIS IS SO REAL ALL MY RELATIONSHIPS HAVE BEEN FAILING BCS OF ME LOVEBOMBING THEM THEN GHOSTING THEM 😭😭
NAH FR, CLICKED AS FAST AS I COULD
@@Psych2go I need some help. I'm in a difficult situation where I truly wanted and want to make her happy, and maybe it was too much. It all started when She tried to stop loving me because she thought it would be healthier for both of us. When I asked why she thought it was unhealthy, she mostly said she wouldn't be "good" for me. Yet, when I asked if she wanted to be in a relationship with me, she almost always said yes or even begged me not to leave her.
She started judging me for almost everything I did. When I wasn't around, she treated me coldly and looked at me with expressions like ._. or -.-. Later, she realized this behaviour was damaging both of us, and we got back together, even better than before. However, I told her it still hurt, and she promised to heal it. But sometimes, her cold and teasing behaviour continued, which made me doubt if she actually loved me. She often didn't respond to my questions, making me constantly fear abandonment because I couldn't figure out where we stood.
This led me to constantly ask if she loved me. Sometimes I got a loving response, other times I was ignored, causing me significant stress. I told her about this and finally got something I could hold onto, only to be ignored a few days later, even though I knew she had time to respond. When I asked her the next day why she didn't respond, she said, "You had chess." This confused me because I missed her and got no reply.
Maybe she felt pressured to answer me, but I just needed to know if she would provide the promised support or not. I was trying to build a healthy relationship, but perhaps she didn't realize that I'm not needy, I just need time to heal.
So my question is: Was this love bombing?
@@Psych2go Light Yagami solos in love bombing.
1- 0:46 (Fast move)
2- 1:57 (Constantly seeking validation)
3- 3:14 (Not ok with boundaries)
4- 4:06 (Unconscious smothering them)
5- 4:52 (Pressuring them into decisions)
3:04 amogus ඞ
Being the first like is insane
Edit: I’m glad that “Love bombing” isn’t what I expected it to be, because I’m very affectionate person and was expecting to be like repremanded for being too clingy😅
Same
Thanks for being here early! Hope this video helps you learn more about love bombing!
I felt the same but man it seems this video will help other people in my life!
@@Psych2gosome of these I’ve had happen but only with 2 people… and they were both abused and I felt like they needed the love and reassurance? It’s not ALWAYS love bombing, but it can be. I’ve straight said “I do NOT want any of my compliments etc to come across as love bombs cuz I know you’ve dealt with that” and quickly got the answer “Yer not doing that🤷🏼♂️ yer sappy and a goofball sometimes but no it never comes across that way” though now I think on it maybe they were? Not even consciously cuz I got pressured into a lot… Oh snap that pressuring yeah I’ve had that used.. I’m just one who listens so I hear if they need reassurance so I will give it, but I won’t “bomb” them. Just be honest cuz it’s so rare 90% of making any relationship work is honesty, communication and compromise
Same, I was so relieved
I figured out I’ve been accidentally love bombing recently and it’s horrible to think about. Also this woman’s voice is so satisfying
That's great. How did you come to realize that?
@@Psych2go it was through a friend who told me about love bombing and it’s completely unintentional but once I’d learnt more about it through videos such as these and am learning to adapt and help mine and others situation
I don't pressure anyone or show disrespect for their boundaries, but I can definitly move fast, sometimes it feels like I try to move too fast, and also I look for validation a bit too much to my own taste. It is bordeline love bombing and I agree, feels horrible to realize that. I guess it's something I'm going to talk about with the girl I'm seeing. Just so we're both aware. I've always assumed I knew what I wanted so I was able to move faster. Maybe I come accross like that and it would explain a lot of things.
Love bombing is such an energy vampire to the person on the receiving end. It can make them lose their individuality and leads to being trapped and controlled, especially if the person is an empath who struggle to say no. It can be dangerous..
It feels worse when your Elders are pressuring too quickly. :/
Yeah I remember being clinging and not respecting boundaries before when I was younger. 😭I see how flawed that was.
What actions did you feel were clinging and what are you doing differently now?
@@Psych2go well I basically always wanted to be around them and would be hurt if they left to do anything like watch a movie or to eat dinner ect. I always wanted to be around them and I would always come to them and ask them, "don't you like being my friend? Why are u always leaving me?" . Despite that being rather unhealthy id say.
I think that the thing I'm doing differently now is by noticing the signs of unhealthy attachments and just telling myself that they're a person too and they need time to themselves too.
I mean 😭my friend doesn't talk to me anymore but I think I'm still healing and becoming better.
i feel you on that brother man@@rebeccasmith2851
I'm watching this even though i'm single 😭
You are preparing ..
That's actually a good thing
@@Psych2go But they are unable to start somehow... I know.
@@Psych2go I really was.
I got a loving girlfriend and I'm making sure she'll always feel happy and loved. thanks for all the tips!
As a borderline I'm a love bomber. It was never something I did on purpose looking back. I truly felt love for the person.
I'm sorry to hear about your BPD. People pleasing isn't the same as love bombing. Also I just wanted to say you have my compassion, I hope you're doing therapy.
@joshy2joshy yes I am thank you 😊
@@reneegardner2286 My ex had bpd and it was very traumatic for me, she had Quiet BPD. Although she said she loved me, I struggle to believe it because of how I was treated. As a recovering co-dependent myself, I thought I loved my ex too. As much as I want to keep telling myself that, I don't think I did love her in a healthy way at least, because I didn't respect myself enough when she mistreated me.
Thanks for sharing your experiences and perspective as someone with BPD. How many of these signs did you relate to?
I also have borderline and it's just not easy I feel bad all the time cuz I think I'm being to needy and most of the time I just feel like everybody hates me
I honestly think having a relationship is too overwhelming for me...
Seriously... I'm overly concerned with being healthy to the point where I question whether my entire personality is just toxicity bubbling up from trauma. I will never be perfect and these videos continue to make me feel like its not even worth it to be in a relationship if I end up hurting people by just loving someone... Is this the intended feeling?
I can relate 100% relate, thats so me.
take your time. i used to find it too overwhelming. maybe figure out why it makes you feel overwhelmed? perhaps affection is too much and it makes you uncomfortable, or you feel nervous as if you'll be judged for your relationship? establish a boundary with your partner (once you feel ready to have one) relating to what makes you uncomfortable or overwhelmed. again, this is so important, take your time. no rushing. good relationships come with slow building. it took me 6-7 months to get really close to my lover and then i felt i was ready, yk? dating a stranger nearly never works out, in my experience. if you let it play out, i'm sure you'll find someone.
@@spencerkerkhof8356this video specifically can't define your relationship and how you make people feel. it's simply like a symptoms list. they don't necessarily mean one thing or another. take time to see what you want from a partner. if you feel like showering someone with affection is what you want, you'll need to find someone who can take it without feeling overwhelmed. communication is key. (sorry, this is rushed)
@@moxxii_mittz I'm not used to providing nor receiving affection so it did make me feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I felt pressured because I didn't want to hurt my ex-partner’s feelings and it made me feel guilty. Thank you for your advice! :>
I was love bombed by someone I had a crush on months ago, but I honestly didn't knew what Love Bombing was, and I didn't even know it was a thing. We would text and call every single day. Play games together, sleep in call every night, say goodmorning and goodnight texts, talk about anything and everything, all that good stuff. I personally wanted to take things really slow with this person, but she insisted that she wanted to be my girlfriend like the first 2 weeks of knowing eachother.
I told her we should go slow and get to know eachother some more and we can move from there.
I started to develop feelings for her around the 1 month mark, and it got even stronger in the 2 month mark. But she slowly became uninterested even though I know I've done nothing wrong. I've only been respectful, kind and thoughtful to her but she lost feelings. She's left me on read for 5 days now and I see her online in games and reposting on tiktok.
She left me to bite the dust and my strong feelings for her are still there. It really sucks, and it really hurt the first 3 days. But im slowly just starting to feel better bit by bit. I feel even better knowing that she love bombed me thanks to this video.
Communication is important in relationships. We need to talk openly and be good listeners.
Very true!
thank you for putting out this video! i’m not a very materialistic person, so i LOVE to give and give and give. it hadn’t ever crossed my mind that it may be “toxic” so thank you for enlightening everyone:)
You're so welcome! Glad you learned something new from this video!
I notice I was mildly love bombing by being clingy thankfully I realized it was because of the trauma of how my previous relationship ended and it caused me to have major trust issues. Now I am talking to a counselor and it is helped so much. I think a little love bombing is normal because unfortunately the rules to love aren't always clear, but when you catch yourself, how you handle it is what matters.
I really think some of these apply to neurodivergent people differently, some of us do this stuff with only genuine love and care and would love to receive it back, it tends to be NTs that start getting weirded out or uncomfortable.
i do think there needs to be a study of love bombing by an ND vs an NT
That's exactly how my online boyfriend used to act so i thought he was being manipulative which made me break up with him but after hearing this I'm starting to doubt my decision :(
This can be accompanied by some very unsavoury manipulation on their end, and could be a big weight on you, even if it isn't intentional, it can still be harmful
It’s toxic no matter how you spin it
this is why talking about stuff was invented :D
Online BF or any online romance is meeeh...I rather be with someone physically not a DLC that comes digitally:)
@@TheChainTVgenuinely who asked? Regardless of how it was supposed to sound, it comes off as bashing their choices. If thats what you do then cool, but shoving it in others faces just because theirs didnt work is a dbag move.
What matters in any of this -is the intent. I’m a giver. I love hard. My intent is the best for those I love. I want them to prosper and flourish. So yeah-it’s the intent that exposes the motives. Some of us love to love.
I talk about my deal breakers and expectations early on in the relationship, which people seem to view as love bombing, but it turns out it’s not, and I was lied to 😢
this is helpful. 😊 especially because I'm a very affectionate person. at least by learning these signs, ik when to do it or not do it.
Glad it was helpful! Did you find it cam used in the future?
I am very ashamed of myself, ruined my relationship with an amazing girl because of my immature actions like the discussed ones in the video. Three years later and i still can't forgive myself.
It's okay but please learn to let go. You deserve inner peace ❤
I was too naive and never experienced anyone "love bombing" me before because I was previously married for a long time. After listening to this everything makes total sense now. I did have lots of boundaries up in fear of being taken advantage of and not knowing at the time he did everything to make me deep down feel guilty. Always reassuring me everything was going to be okay and feeding into my insecurities making me believe he was going to do everything in his power to make me feel safe. All the gifts, trips and compliments can make you completely blind to what's really going on.
Timestamp!
-0:46 Fast move
-1:56 Constantly seeking validation
-3:13 not ok with boundaries
-4:06 Unconcious smothering them
-4:51 Pressuring them into decisions
I've been a victim of love bombing and its been difficult trying to get back into a relationship, especially with i already have alot of attachments and abandonment/separation anxiety due to past trauma and my mental disorder. I love these videos so much, they have helped me so much with healing and moving on and what do ya know. My current lover watches these videos too.
I was really scared to see videos like this that put the "wrong" on me since I come from a home were the fault always lands on my lap but recently I have got the strength to face it, it's hard and hurts a bit but is necessary and will bring healthier people to my life as well as making me healthier too
Iam in a situation like this. I love romantic gestures however am always careful of potential manipulation as this is how I tick. So I love to take my time. Interesting, being called “boring” as this couldn’t be further from the truth.
So, to ensure it’s a healthy relationship time and natural development of things is crucial.
Good you mentioned that love bombing can have unconscious reasons. Therapy is always great to support yourself.
If it’s genuine love, it will pass the test of time ❤️
The first one seems like a hard balance. Like you want the person to know that you see them as a potential life partner, and you want to make your dreams for the future known, but you also don't want to love bomb them on accident by painting them into your fantasy as if it was set in stone.
I thought the point was that it's too soon to be thinking of them as a life partner before the solid foundation has had time to develop. That's why it discussed idealization: you don't really know them yet.
I'm so glad you promoted the book Attached. It's brilliantly insightful. I highly recommend learning about attachment styles and the way they affect your relationships. I just wish I'd know this stuff years ago.
I always thought I was “love bombing,” but it turns out I don’t do most of these things. The only things I move fast with are being exclusive from the first date, but we already got to know each other for months beforehand, so that's not a red flag. I seek validation sometimes, and I used to do so more often, but not as much anymore. I respect my partner’s boundaries and don’t pressure him into anything. Sometimes I worry I’m smothering him, but he says I’m not and that I’m really attractive 🥰 I’m just passionate about my partner, and then it seems to come off as love bombing to some people when it’s really just infodumping.
So this instead confirmed I’m not crazy and I’m not doing anything bad
That whole explanations sounds like the whole oposite thing lol
I learned a several years ago that I have a tendency to do this in my friendships since I have an anxious attachment style
but I've been deliberately working on this since learning it and it's helped prevent me from scaring people off somewhat
Though this refresher is helpful
It's important for me to continue being mindful and check myself
Even though it's not intentional manipulation
I am aware that people can feel pressured to entertain me and I've been working on my communication to make things clear to others that there is no obligation to reciprocate or want the things I do
My previous partner was love bombing and im so glad i found ot out. They moved the relationship forward way too quickly, and they were always seeking validation. I broke up with them because i didnt love them anymore, and also because they were overwhelming me with how needy they were, and how quickly they were moving things. I havent found anyone else yet, but now i know what to look out for thanks to you ❤
I've been loved bomb in every relationship 😢
But I'm glad I'm not in one anymore.
I see the signs now, And this video is very important to me and helpful. Thank you for this
Yeah, I was love bombing without realising it, I have BPD and the fear of loss is so huge that I didn't wanted to lose him like all the others. At least I have seen this video so I can do better, thank you so much.
I'm pretty sure I do the seek of validation and the gift smothering, but I don't think I expect too much of them, like "here, I saw this and thought of you." and the validation thing... I'm pretty sure I'm just that insecure
I'm having a really difficult time with my gf rightnow. As soon as i saw this video, i noticed that i was love bombing her without even noticing. Thanks for this video and i hope it will help a lot of other people with the same problem❤
Can you be overly loving without being manipulative?
I was being loved bomb. Thankfully I was able to recognize it. And shortly he showed his true colors... He kept gaslighting me, he made me feel like i was crazy.... I cut that off asap
awww i love this style lol it’s so cute ❤
Thank you! We're testing out the video style. Glad you liked it!
I had this brought up while talking to my bestie/love interest months ago, because I can be affectionate, anxious, and a bit clingy.
I was assured by them that I don't have a manipulative bone in my body; that I care too much about their opinion to try to guilt or change them, just try to find a balance between both our wants.
Yeah I'm recovering from people-pleasing and codependency. I definitely did these things without thinking. To be loved and not rejected.
I wish i could apologize to the women i wronged.
But then it could be a form of control from me again to be loved. Haaa this shit is a vicious circle
Only two words for this video - Very Useful.
I read the title as "5 signs you love bombing without realizing it" ..💀
Love bombing is a pattern of deliberately showering someone with gifts and/or affection, then becoming cold, pushy, or abusive after they commit to you. The purpose is to put in effort to keep them around and putting up with you, not to love them for their own sake.
The honeymoon period and anxious attachment style are not love bombing. The abuser will disregard boundaries, but not during the sweet part of the love bombing phase, as that would defeat the purpose. Love bombing is the tactful reintroduction of the honeymoon phase to convince an abuse victim to not run away or for getting them to come back. Boundary pushing alienates, so it's not a part of the sweet phase.
The sweet phase of love bombing appears identical to good love, that's by design. You can't recognize love bombing by it's sweet phase, as Psych2go is trying to do here. Love bombing can only be identified by making note of the broader patterns to discover the intentions behind the sweet treatment: is it genuine love, or is it just concessions to keep you around.
I beg to differ, some people can recognize it by it's sweet phase but not all
Maybe that's for beginners, but if the intimacy has been for quite so long already, I think it's a different thing.😊❤
When I saw the notification I told myself to watch it becuz I was worried that I was love bombing my partner. And after watching I realized I was, without knowing it. I feel rlly bad Abt it but now I know what to do to not do it anymore. Thanks Psych2go. y'all are a big help. 💜
Love this channel.
A guy tried the ring and house routine. I thought he was in love or in a sense of territorial concern. It was burdensome and annoying.
I looked at him and said heres my opals, diamonds are for men. Here is my house I'm busy making money at two jobs FOR MY HOUSE, so im quite busy with those items already. He never bought a house or anything at all. He was a drifter. Nothing more. Upon my suspicions I did a background check on him, he had a criminal record in his teenage years I was in college pursuing my degree. Wow.
Not a couple.
Get cold with love bombers. Remind them you are important to YOURSELF. You can provide what they future faking. Months later the guy quit following up with dating demands. Whenever anybody fills you with confusion, get out of there.
Wow. I'm doing better than I thought. This does have me interested in learning more from this channel, though.
Im currently in a relationship, lets just say this video has helped me improve as a lover, Ive done 3/5 things in this video and I mentally cover it up by saying Im just too clingy or my partner is being picky/antsy. This video was so helpful for me to address my problems and become a much better person thx psych2go
these videos are always informational
always learning from these❤
Dude its the first minuit lol
it’s a feeling
Why did I click on this so fast
Same im pretty sure im first other then the creator lol
Thanks for being here early!
@@Psych2go OMGGG I’M A FAN ❤️
And no problem 😌
@@Psych2goi commented on you're comment btw :)
Gg my friend (I liked my own comment)
3:04 AMOGUS 🔥
Cup
I loved the visual analogy of love bombing at 3:31 :D
I noticed that I do seek validation a lot, and while I do care about people's boundaries, I sometimes don't notice them / don't realize I've crossed them.
I never thought of love-bombing as an accidental behaviour. Some of these I've done to some degree without realising it.
Really important get rid of this behavior before you lose your chance.
When I was watching the video, there are some similar things that I've been doing lately, and it made me realize that I was love booming my crush this whole time
Now, we're best friends and a great relationship
You're doing the lords work, my friend! Love the video! Don't stay away too long, I need my meme lessons!
I'm a gift giver too.. when I have a crush I do it... not out of love but friendship :)
Thank you for tackling the unintentional love bombing side if things, the new generation really needs that as much as the one before 🤭😑😮💨
I used to be very cheesy with a partner I had a long time ago.
It reached the point where I was being annoying without noticing and I didn't stop until she told me.
Be careful if you happen to be like that.
This was a great learning and a reality check. Thanks a lot for this. I don't know if you take questions on the video topic though.
Man, how did you know my girlfriend just recently broke up with me saying she's sorry for not feeling as passionate as i do? I don't blame neither of us, but it got me thinking if i overdo things...
I sincerely hope I'm not love-bombing, I have a best friend that I absolutely adore so I've been messaging them regularly and suggesting regular meetups. They've been struggling a lot with their mental health and I've been doing my best to be there for them, but one of our other close friends has brought up a couple of times (jokingly I think) that it looks more like I'm taking away their individuality and showing favouritism and all that jazz. It's really worrying me now because I know I'm a valuable and important friend to them and they do benefit from my support and good wisdom, but now I'm freaking out about whether or not I'm MAKING them need me.
Ive been worried that Ive been love bombing for a while too. Now that Ive watched this I know that and will try to mend the bond between me and my gf.
new video yes!!
Thanks for being here early! :D
It seems like I'm doing a decent job so far at not doing these things! I always try to be respectful and mindful of my friends and their personal space, as well as their lives. :)
lovebombing is one of my worst fears when i get attached to someone because i can be a clingy person.
Timestamps
1). Fast move 0:45
2). Constantly seeking validation 1:56
3). Not ok with boundaries 3:13
4). Unconscious smothering them 4:06
5). Pressuring them into decisions 4:51
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
i’ll be honest i think i did this to my two very very close friends, and seeing this made me think that i’m just genuinely a terrible person - which aligns with my usual belief anyways, the only problem is that i dont understand why they still care about me, what part about me deserves forgiveness for such terrible things and manipulative behaviours that i did and had???
it makes no sense, if all i did was love bomb then why do they still care about me when all i did was in hopes of them staying and for my own selfish desires?? its just not genuine, none of all of our friendship was genuine, i am a bad person and they should leave it at that
Interesting. I cant say i love bomb but the example at the end is def something I've done in the past especially in the beginning of the relationship. Mostly due to an anxious attachment style. Now, it's better and i can communicate my worry more objectively (also thanks to this channel in part)
Im watching this because i like to very frequently compliment my partner and have been worrying about potentially love bombing for a while. Consequently im always making sure i dont cross a boundary or something and frequently ask if she’s comfortable with my complimenting. Still worry about it tho😅
That's it, an anxious attachment deserves to be with an anxious attachment - otherwise everyone is suffering
I like watching these videos not because I'm in need of help but because it's kinda entertaining
I do all of that
(Not with bad intentions)
But not with my partner but rather my friends
I get periods of romantacising one particular friend
And then being disappointed (eventually and inevitably) if they don't uphold to my surreal expectations 😅
Maybe it's a cultural difference, but I don't understand why gifts can become a manipulation. When you're giving a gift, you are expecting nothing in return from the other person. Unless you are doing it with the aim to ask a favour, in that case it's not love but trade.
Imagine getting a heart from Psych2Go...
Chat. I think I'm cooked. I'm a bad bf. Didn't knew about that.
Polygamy is even worse.
It is selfish to me one person or a couple find the need to be in a relationship with multiple partners when it isn't apart of a culture.
What has culture to do with it?
@@karimabidi8312 in some cultures polygamy is acceptable/used to be acceptable ( usually only if the man has many partners)
@@jayc7249 I know that. My question is more like why should anyone care about what the society thinks about it?
I can live with one partner in a society with polygamy, and I should be able to live with more than one partner in a society with monogamy. Society should not care about private stuff like relationships as long as there is nothing amorally happening
Polyamory is fine for those ones who understand things and give their consent. It is none of our business.
Can you do a: Signs you are a hyper-independent person | video?
btw i really love your channel as it really helped to find my self in what should i change to be better! Thank you! ❤❤
Everyone has engaged in similar behavior at least once. Im pretty certain most of it wasnt done with some Machiavellian agenda as the root as well.
Bro i did some of these really recently and it kind of ruined my relation with them a bit, though i tend to believe alot of these can start by having certain expectation about how relationships should go based off of your previous relationships or what you think it should be like (or both).
Really can mess you up, i wish i knew this sooner.
I’ve got to understand this video a lot especially from past relationships In a way love bombing but not recognizing it till seeing this video it’s a good learning curve to understand for new relationships , and also to look back on . man I wish my ex can see this 😂she actually got me into your videos . But again great educational video on explaining it .
I hate it when people do a romantic gesture and I later realise they were just being friendly like pls draw the line cuz now im confused whether they are being friendly or romantic
I guess my only question is what is too early? Before 6 months? Before a year?
Ok, so I'm damned if i do, and damned if I don't. I show affection, I'm over bearing, i don't show affection, I'm being abusive. Got it 🙏
Excellent voice-over for various topics.
Thank you for posting this! I’ve recently started dating and I don’t want to accidentally love bomb my partner!
Your first experience is a learning experience and it seems you already on a healthy start.
Good advice again Amanda, Psych2Go & the rest of your team! Have a good one!
I am an anxious attachment. I get so excited at the beginning. I wanna know their struggles what brings them joy. Their love languages up front. I am no problem sharing that kind of info about myself, but it can be too intense for others. What is the healthy time line that relationships are supposed to go through? Don’t tell me whatever feels right. I’m an open book, but most people arnt like that.
I cant belive im love bombing my partner😢
I feel like such a terrible person. I never really intend to hurt him in anyway. He was my first ever lover and the first person that ever took care of me like this. That is why when we got together i promised myself i will shower him with all the love i could ever give. To the point he doesn't have to second guess my love for him. I didn't realize that because of my love for him. I was ruining our relationship. I always thought that our relationship is weakening is because he always felt so distant. But now i realized that the reason was me.
Im so toxic. I feel sick
3:04 is nobody going to talk about the among us cup-?
Maybe I have that, idk why I do this. Whenever I find someone of interest I tend to so, this video shows me taht I need to stop
Dude that is totally me. But dont all borderlines love bomb? Its so natural tho.. it might be part of why the relationships tend to last 3-4 months tops:) thanks this video helps immensely
I always try to remember to "take it slow"
What is romance? Can we go back in time before lies existed, and try to find out what romance back then was defined as
I have to increase the volume to almost max every time i watch this channel's contents, are they too low or is it just me?
I feel so sad right now 😢
I cant belive I've been love bombing my love 😢
3 out of 5… I didn’t realize it until now… Why I suddenly became like this?
Why am i watching this even though i'm single forever
I thought k was love bombing when they explained the one about anxious attachment but the rest fit my SP’s profile