Never Enter Into a Relationship With a Man Without These Green Flags
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- Опубликовано: 1 июл 2024
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I asked my ex boyfriend to read part of an essay that I believed more clearly stated what I was tryung to get him to understand about me. He refused. He said he didnt read books, just magazines. The part of the essay was less that the size of an article. He still refused, then attacked me by saying I was trying to change him. It was one essay to help him understand me better. No respect, no effort, no kindness. Thats why hes an "ex."
i hate it when i had written proof of something, the person i try to show it to wouldn't even read it, and still insist that i was wrong. that's a little bit different than what your ex did to you, but the point is the same, they both simply didn't want to. you can't make someone do what they don't want to do.
@@dian277 In the end, their pride was more important to both of them than simply humbling themselves for the sake of the relationship. It didn't take anything from them, so why be so stubborn?
He didn't show any interest in your interests (you). Good for you for leaving.
Yeah he's annoying
That is so aggy. Good thing you ditched that cheez it
My current guy is so patient with me…I have an occasional hissy fit, he just lets me flap around like a demented bird, then comes back to me and tells me he loves me. That’s just priceless.
Lol right ❤
That's great but you should also be a green flag to him by not always behaving like that and expect him to always be understanding of it. Not saying you always do that but just not make it a habit that becomes a bother. Treat him the way you want to as well.
@@nicoleblake2700That’s exactly what I was going to say, she should also be a green flag for him.
Great to see you again, Brian. A green flag that I saw in my husband was how much he cared for me when I wasn't around. Pure love.
Green flags I have experienced: 1. He pays attention to what I like or what interests me and then finds gifts or activities that not only fit that, but often ones he can enjoy or appreciate too. 2. He is decisive and does all the planning and reservation making, but is open to my input and has no problem with me doing it too on occasion. 3. He is able to adjust his behavior if it’s hurting me, but without compromising his own sense of self or integrity. 5. He is my safe person in social settings. He won’t abandon me and he will listen and support me if I have an issue.
🙏🏼
Wow this is the exact opposite of my ex I'm so glad men like this exist 🧚♀️
@@mira3498 It’s the exact opposite of my ex too! That’s why I’m in awe with it, like what world did I step into?!? Is this real? I wanted to share that there are men like this out there! They do exist! But he and I both work hard to make it work, and a lot of the success we have is because of people like Brian here who has given me a template to know what I have and not mess it up and help cultivate it! 💗🙏🏻
i’ve just met a man and he’s very kind and generous and fun and playful. I don’t see any red flags. I see all green flags I I’m gonna keep that approach. This video came right on time and he is 67 and I’m 62.
Wish the two of you the best🥲🫂✨️
Oh wow, I wish you two the best ❤
I’m happy for you. I’m 64 divorced single mum still hoping to find Mr Right 😊
Respect is the most important in a relationship, the number one criteria to me otherwise no love is possible.
Trust runs a real close second to Respect
True!
In very early dating- say you have a misunderstanding, he wants to talk it out. He also accepts no with grace. He doesn’t act like a baby or nag you. He also shows that he’s eager to be with and talk to you. You’re not wondering where he went.
This is exactly how my current partner is, woah
Lord, deliver to me a kind, loving, considerate man.
You will have him!
@@itismetotori Interesting you should say that. The same day I met a man who is smitten with me, is asking me out and crazy about me. I'll be needing him to slow down.
One green flag I thought I noticed was his patience,…he’d say he was setting a boundary by taking time to “build” a connection before getting into a relationship. Yet it was all in vain considering his inconsistency. It took a while to recognize because he wasn’t that inconsistent. He’d pursue me daily, taking time to “check” on me; but when he talked about the future it was always “vaguely suggestive”,…never anything concrete. Like, “ I want to go on vacation with you “ or “ i want to meet your parents”,…we never really evolved our intimacy & he never really facilitated that either. It was all me. & I hated every second I felt like I was forcing things.
Now. I’m excited to be with a man who wants to be with me.
The timing of this was uncanny. Thank you for your work Brian !
Respect, Attraction & Loyalty is a Solid Foundation
I just stopped seeing a guy I’d met a couple weeks before. His last message to me: Sorry you felt that way. Only time he said sorry. 😂 Really reaffirmed my decision to break it off. Thanks for this.
hot n cold's always a bad sign....toxic always
I believe that green flags are seen in good patterns of behavior... key word is patterns
Agreed! I was in a bad relationship right now. Abuse.
This was perspective-changing for me. I am in a new relationship and due to past negative experiences, I have been really focused on fearfully sniffing out red flags. The green flags, which he hits top points on all them, helped me shift my focus in a more balanced way. Thanks Brian! ❤
Abusive relationships do that too. I get it!
Zero green light found and it's such a shame. I've been wondering for days now, why am I feeling not so happy in the relationship. And the answer is quite clear for me. Thank you Brian
Some of these my boyfriend has struggled with but the great news is he works on himself and makes changes when things are an issue. He doesn't have bad intentions, is emotionally available, includes me in his life and his friend and family group
Its hard being patient. However, meeting someone that is genuinely happy and thinks you're awesome does happen. Its rare, but over the years, Ive met a couple of happy guys, and it felt great!!! I desire a happy, even tempered, peaceful mate- who wouldnt? patience is an act of self love. If it starts painful, or with negative emotions- walk.
This guy is so good, I have missed seeing videos from him
I love the positivity of your thumbnail and title. It’s a magnet!!
I watched so many of your videos during my relationship....it confirmed he was legit!....until month 8. So i have learned that the "hunter" instinct can inspire men to behave wonderfully. Until it wears thin. I know narcissist behavior is the new buzzword....but i was with a covert one. He was extremely consistent and dependable....and seemed genuine. So it was heartbreaking to see so many green flags ... which color changed to red! He started talking rudely to waiters...to me...being contemptuous, and refused to ever apologize. So i accept it takes a longer time to truly see the person in these unfortunate scenarios. But most men would show themselves in a much shorter time frame, thankfully! Thank you Mr. Knox. It's a process and learning is essential.
unfortunately some men would pretend for as long as they can until they have you locked down.
Oh no. Sorry to hear that. It’s hard trusting someone fully nowadays.
@@Sunshine-uk7yo thanks for the kind words
He didn't make me feel down
I always enjoy your videos… I follow about four relationship sites…
I always appreciate your intelligent wit and humor…
Looks like I finally found “him”… been dating for a year now…
❤
I have met a man who is so much concern about my good emotions😊
I once read that you can’t really be friend anymore with someone you loved in the past or if it’s the case the two were never in love 🤷♀️
😮😮
True for me so far. I tried to be friends again with my Ex, since we were friends first but somehow we both ended up in old and comfortable patterns and that was the end. Neither lovers nor friends now.
@@CosimaNonymouse yess similar experience
Nah, it's just simple minds oversimplifying and generalizing.
Even though it is for now a long distance relationship, we have plans to be together in less than a year, he also talks about his future with me, he is super kind to his family and his friends, also with me, he's really attentive and really patient when he's teaching me how to play pubg, he has a lot of green flags ❤ Thank you for your videos they are all life changing! I like how you interact and explain things.
Yay so happy to see you! I’ve read 2 of your books so far! The knowledge you give is liberating!
Thank you. This makes so much sense.
Thank you for making these videos. You have been extremely helpful!!!
Thanks Brian, I look forward to hearing more of your info 🎉
Always on point, Brian.
Thanks!
Missed you! Can’t wait to watch this. 😊
One day I sent a friend a pic of me with my niece. The first thing he replied was : "She's so cute ! " And then : "It has to be the first time I see you smiling". This guy has his priorities in order.
What's the issue?
@@ananyagandhi8829 There is none. I absolutely love the fact that he talked about my niece first, and then about me. I appreciate both of his comments, but the fact that she is cute is way more important than the fact that I smile.
I always appreciate your videos. The are always well thought out. :)
Great information, Heath/Brian! Love hearing about the "green flags!" You are the only male on RUclips, as far as I know, who has every brought these concepts...genius.
Bry, u need to make more regular videos cos theyre so good....truthful, interesting and clear.
Dear Geert, thank you very much for your videos and always useful pieces of advice! ☀️ You really help a lot of people! Wish you all the best!
I love this video! Brian, you make me laugh even while you make so much sense.
your Green Flags I flipped 180 and he did the complete opposite so it’s a Big No from me … He can’t come Back. Thanks Brian you Always make it clear for me to make a choice 🙏🏼
Thank you 🎉😊
Thank you
another great video, thank you 🤍
I rarely watch videos til the end, always yours!
Love you Brian, thanks for your support and advice!🎉 my ex once told me that most men keep friends with their ex’s in hopes that they can have random sex in the future, I felt like vomiting on his shoes, shortly after I broke up with him and it was the best things I did for myself, what a creep!
They make you think that ..then change when they get what they want.
Thanks Brian, for this video. My realisation: to be honest, the guy I am (was) interested in completely craps out.😞 So I have learnt another lesson.🙂
Thank you. I really only "attract" red flag men. Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I need to buy your book. Sure I have green flag men , as friends.
Red flag men seek out very understanding and nurturing people. Then they do everything they can to milk that. They give you a lot of stories about how so many people hurt them and how hard their life is. They have excuses for everything. This sets up the idea that you should be very forgiving and want to help them and show them real love. And it also means you may rarely say no. No to bad behavior. No to being given a lot of excuses. And sadly green flag men observe this and interpret it as desperate behavior- when you accept a man who is not treating you well. Good men see that as- she just wants any man. Look how she sticks around with that crumby guy. She must just want any guy. If i dated her, she wouldn’t even care about who i am. She just wants a warm body next to her.” The most attractive thing to a good man and the most repellent thing to a red flag is the word no.
@@Mayfloweralways Actually, I think my problem is that I find "Bad Boys" a little exciting. Probably related to my CPTSD
@@DS40764 ahhh, you wanting them is another thing. I wasn’t attracted to those men, but i think i was unknowingly accepting the idea that everything wrong was my fault because i was raised that way. Things were my fault and to get back in good graces, be extra good sort of thing. It helped a lot for me to understand the why to change it. I hope it helps to know we can change. I have a great guy now. I just want everyone else to have that happiness too
I posted a longer response but for some reason it was removed. I basically said finding out the reason for going for red flag men is a big step to being able to find a happy relationship. Wishing you good luck.
@@Mayfloweralways Thank you for your comment!
Miss you Brian
I don’t know about the “ex”. My ex was a narcissist and a horrible person, l ran into him on a flight and he was with his new wife. He came to say “hi” to me only so l could see how “happy” he was with her. I was being polite to him on the outside because we were surrounded by people but inside l hated his guts. Turns out he just wanted to spend the entire flight with me and the poor wife was sitting all alone wondering where he had gone to. It made me realize how happy l was without him because that lady could have been me. I want to add that out of respect for her l kept trying to keep the conversation short so that he could go back to his seat (with his wife) but he wouldn’t go. Later on l found out she was crying on the flight. I felt terrible for her.
Green flag: sharing feelings in an honest, but not attacky way
I dated a green flag guy. He made one mistake consistently that caused me to call it off. I have a gift giving boundary which I made very clear and he consistently broke it, because giving gifts (sometimes very expensive ones) is "just who he is." Even after he agreed to respect the boundary, he broke it. He was lovely in every other way. I wasn't asking him not to give gifts, merely limiting, and he could not do it. For me, it was like he was disrespecting me and my feelings around it. He wasn't like this in any other area. But I felt if he was so willing to violate one boundary what is to stop him from violating more boundaries?
You broke it off because he was giving you gifts? Seriously? Seems to me that you have low self esteem and subconciously don't feel worthy of receiving gifts. That's what makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe deep down you feel like you need to give sth. back in return but guess what - you don't! A simple 'thank you' and appreciation is enough. Men are naturally givers and women receivers - at least it should be that way. Actually by accepting sth a man does for you, helps you with, or simply gifts you sth, you boost his ego and he feels masculine as it is naturally for a man to be a protector and provider for a woman he likes/loves. So it's a win win situation.
I had a BF that gave me gifts every time he screwed up or neglected me (which was sadly often). Was it like that?
@@aerochiccWhat do you mean with "screwed up? What did he do?
@@minnic.6992 Forgot my birthday, was consistently late when we had plans, would ignore me when other people were paying attention to him...
You have to be careful with gifts. Gifts can also be red flags because narcissistic men will give gifts as a love-bombing technique, and cheating men will give gifts to compartmentalize and soothe their conscience. I've experienced both.
Except 1-2 things he has all these green flags and loves me very much. The problem: I am allergic against his pets and it is getting worse. My allergy is starting to kick through, when I am just near him in the same room (outside of his place)
Not a good Match...
Wow. Can't that be medicated these days?
My now husband had a lot a green flags when we were dating and now that we are married some of those green flags turned red, so i think its better to stay single and just date have your own home and be independent.
I would like to hear your opinion in regards to "Future faking", men who bring up marriage, family etc themselves, yet they are future faking. How do you know when it's true future planning?
You just said it, no plans, conversation or anything..I don't like false hope from anyone. I don't want to fall in love with ideas.
I experienced all of these green flags with a man I fell in love with quickly. It turned out he was using drugs and when I tried to talk to him about it he lost his temper and dumped me. 💔 How do you navigate past these green flags to know if they don’t have a secret that will break you?
We, Bangladeshi students, want justice!
Bangladeshi media are not broadcasting the genocides! We want help from the international community! Please help us.
Fijn je weer te zien!
What should I look for if I have to choose between a nice guy, or an attractive?
It's sort of a simplified stereotype example, but I'm just a bit worried that the nice guy relationship without attraction will be boring.
High there 🎶listening to you is fun and „green flags…🦋🌼Thank you for your contents - and make me laugh aswell🌈🌼
I would live to know where to meet great, single men! ( I volunteer often, but I dont get out much ...what to do?) 🌿📚
Brain, there is something personal u would like to get your advise on. How do I directly communicate for a private response? Greatful to know.
He said he didn't want to marry me cause it would make it real 😢
He is quite consistent. We talk throughout the day every day, but his messages are superficial. I am unsure if he wants me in his future, but it's only a month so 🤷♀️
Then superficial is what he wants.
Love the title 😅
Yeah that’s for confirming it’s was good thing to leave
This video made me realise I am the red flag for him then 😭
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I'm single. But I heard I have a twin who stole my identity. Who is she with and where do they live?
I don’t know about the ex example. You should be considerate and not just introduce those two like that! I would think that’s a flag
We women settle for brown flags because there aren't enough green flags and too many red flags.
Yeah sounds like my ex 😂 thanks god it’s over
Waiting for response 24-48 hours seems to me too long period...because then I feel not being priority for him...
So, can I run to you then?
Don't know why thisnis in my feed. These westerns are going mad lately 🤣
Apples, bananas and melons, hey ! 🍎🍎🍎🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉⚡️
How to talk to a person who you like but has rejected you, i.e. does not want a relationship with you. If you meet at a congress or in church, how can you not show that you still care, especially when you have all these emotions but you still want to relieve him of the burden of feeling guilty because he rejected you??
O.O
My bf is really sweet and kind to me🩷Im grateful to have him in my life💗HES a great partner🥰...
Thank you