@@margaretdelacruz4836 It works! My boyfriend started to talking almost only about himself, taking me for granted, not listining to my feelings and thoughts, helping his ,,female friends'' while ignoring me. Firstly I have been feeling sad, undervalued and unworthy but next step was to ignore him, don't check his social media and just move on to my life. After a couple of days, he started to wonder what's with me become more polite and soft. It maked me feel well but not excited and ready to put him on a pedestal - I know what I should do to maintain the state of chase.
So true...feed your craving with self loving activities...live with purpose....not only to please one person to have their love....REMEMBER...you are LOVE👸🏻💖
This is a very important lesson that I've learned this weekend thanks to your videos. I really needed to hear that. I am done chasing my love interests. I am a fucking catch, I'm the fucking prize, the gold at the end of the rainbow and I deserve to be treated as such! Update: met my new boyfriend 2 days after and we've been together nearly 3 months now :)
Recently stopped the "doormatitis"; so glad I did! Your description of the woman having not had a relationship for years perfectly described me. I had high standards & was not finding a man that met them. After 5-6 years with no relationship, I let my guard down & became the doormat. After 8 months, I put a stop to it. I know my worth & said enough was enough. A month later, he's back & we've communicated what went wrong. The "doormatitis" is gone & he knows it. So we'll see what happens. 🙂
3:26….yup. That’s the truth. Geert, from deep down in my soul, I thank you. I will openly say that I love you because you changed my life. Change may be uncomfortable, but I was able to see the real me underneath. Thank you for sharing your heart. Your dedication to sharing insightful knowledge inspires me. I admire your courage and wisdom. Now, I too, have the courage to make better choices in life and I can bravely say I’m a better person, inside and out. I appreciate YOU, Geert. ❤
Been single 6 years , learnt my lesson abt giving giving not receiving the same back, stepped back ,and now I see the signs of ego and control from manipulation, so I now know my worth and I love myself to much to be in that situation ,thank you 💜
Been trying to prove my worth to others for many years, now finally at a point of asking "Why don't I value myself?" Thanks for your insightful and empathetic video, Geert!
This describes my most recent relationship to a T. I didn't date for years ,I was focused on being a mom. I met a guy who treated me well, but was hyper critical of me. I tried to please him, and totally started not acting like myself. Eventually, he said he "needed a break from seeing me." I used that opportunity to lock the metaphorical door on him, and I feel much stronger and better about myself without him.
I started being like that by cooking and posting pics of myself so he could notice me...trying to make him see my value. This video makes so much sense. Thank you
This is where online dating may be really useful. Even if you don't want a relationship at the moment, when you keep your profile up, you can see that there is abundance of men wanting your attention. Most people have a closed group of friends so when there are 1-3 single men in your group of friends, it's easy to start thinking "oh no, there are only 3 single men left, I need to hurry!". Online dating will remind you that there are more single men available than you may think, so it may help you adopt the abundance minset.
I find that when i put the least effort into making the relationship official, keep my option open, but still interested to know more about the other person, the dude always chase me so hard and they even ask me to be their girlfriend in around 2 weeks from meeting each other the first time. Btw i'm not that good looking or have a very high status, but i'm quite friendly with people in general, i care about my surrounding, but still do what makes me happy and live my life the way i want.
Yeah that happens to me and when it does, I see it as a sign of someone who is controlling and aggressive. Nobody should be telling me they love me or that they want to commit to me within weeks of meeting me. That is just pure infatuation and hormones making the man crazy. I love watching these videos! Brian is the best!
This is how I proved my value. Early stage in the relationship we were at a local pub. We started to play pool, when a girl he met a few days back, walked in. Apparently he had told her next time I see you, I'll help you learn darts. Well no pun indeeded, but he literally darts right over to her and leaves me hanging by myself at the pool table. I just stood there in amazement, thinking, are you kidding. I made a statement about how rude and disrespectful he was. I said, now out loud to him, are you kidding? He made a few lame words. I interrupted him and said, with truth confidence, I know my worth. It was awesome 😊
It's not easy when you're married it takes a lot of faith to leave, but if you want make things work you are have to do a lot of compromising in order to make the marriage work
Hey Brian, I was sitting quite on my bed almost brokedown after i got rejected by my crush several months ago..I needed to talk about it with someone,and dint know how should I take it and move forward. Emotions can be so strong and painful. But then, your video notification popped up and I should say it really helped me get a clear picture on how "self-value" is so important for ur well being. Thankyou so much.
I got rejected last night. I cried my eyes out, in front of him. He said that it is impossible to have a relationship with me. He will never have feelings for me. I'm still hurting now. Trying to find myself back after investing too much and devaluing myself for months. Wish me speedy recovery 🙏🏻
@@chikarae17 sorry you are so 70set. At least you know the truth instead of wasting years on this person. Take the time to grieve then recover and learn from this. You have value. You will rise stronger. He was not the one for you.
I really liked this video because it resonates with me. I was in a relationship for a little bit more than 2 years. Things started fine, but with time and distance, because we were in a LDR, he was not the same person I felt in love with, but, I was still blinded by love. At last part of our relationship, I was ready to give up everything for him, move to another country, start from the bottom, but, he clearly, was not in the same page. He blamed anxiety and stress to be rude with me, to belittle me, to critize my body, for speaking my language, and i was so heart broken. Finally, he ended things by text. Now I see, clearly how I lowered my value for someone that was not that great to begin with. Thanks for your advice
Omg i just went thru this..kinda felt good for someone to be attracted to me. I devalued myself and almost..almost became a door mat! Luckily after a month i said no you're blocked!
Your videos are so valuable, for anyone at any age of circumstance in life. Such a simple concept, but so profound for all humans, "how to value yourself" Thank you Brian, you're very valuable! I am reading your "valuable" books too!
Thank you Brian for these videos. I married a guy who broke up with me four times. Six months after being married he asked for a divorce. I knew the problem is me... diagnosis = Doormatitus.. you are raising me up..god bless
You are amazing to listen to, I love your down-to-earth image and your incredible insights and wisdom. Thank you for the great advice, Brian. I love your videos!
I've been following you for quite sometime now but never commented on your videos... They're really profound and you go right to the core of the problem. I find your advice very valuable and it helps me a lot. So true that self value is an "inside job". Still I find it hard sometimes to say no when I really like the guy but I understand completely what you're saying about our feelings blinding us. This is the case for sure! Thank you very much!
All your videos are really good - but this one is my story to a 'T'. Been alone for 8 years. Went to a music festival by myself and met a guy. I'm even a certified Master Gardener currently tending a large flower garden.... Had the reaction you described and laughed out loud when you said about her bedroom looking like a jungle. If only I could post a picture here. I'm in my 60's and I've literally been blown away by this. And then two days went by with no communication and there was my old thinking giving me a rough time. Your suggestion of asking myself what would I do if I valued myself, is one I can't quite answer yet because I realized I don't value myself as a potential lover - YET. It's so helpful when you have an idea of exactly how to apply effort in order to feel better. Thanks for the really good information.
Can we say devalue? WITHOUT A DOUBT people know when you’re trying (or not) to impress them. After they reel you in, your VALUE will go ignored intentionally, thus a trauma bond has been installed. Now you’re stuck with some LAZY, boring and flatlined individual who brings nothing to the table. Move on.
You always have a choice ie not stuck! But I agree some people become v lazy and take for granted.. when I feel that happening time to make more plans with friends and take focus on my own life .. men are so if it's ok then it's ok and we look for some romance etc treat yourself and he soon notices!!
Yes, I can see now that I have slipped into doormatitis. Thank you Brian, for bringing it to my attention. Running after 'the catch of my life' sure has become harder, the harder I tried(you made me aware of that in the previous video I just watched). No matter how much it hurts, I must remember to hold back. oh, that's gunna hurt! But when his work takes him away out of contact for weeks on end, how do I decide when enough is enough and open the door again?
Brian, I love your videos! Could you pleeeeeeeease talk about love bombing and how Narcissists use it undeliberately? I believe all women should be aware of it!! ♡♡♡
Narcissist use it deliberately!!!! There are way too many videos out there about narcisissts.. I personally have been involved with one.. and when you re hurt you search online and you find massive information. He talks about normal people, I prefer his style.
Very helpful as usual.i can relate myself to this☺️but now you change my perspective & make me realize that i should question my emotions first.Indeed self- value is an inside thing & one should take care of it.thanx again🌹
I like how you bring in simple terms the message that you share. Just found you on line today, and have listened to quite a few of your videos back to back while cleaning windows!! Made mundane work enjoyable!!
This legit feels like he was watching my last several months and shaking his head in disappointment, lol. It made me feel like I was losing my mind as to why I suddenly felt SO bad about myself when I had just done so much work that I could be proud of. The mind is a weird thing sometimes.
I totally get this...at theory level it all makes sense. Often, we are caught off gaurd and not thinking on these terms while trying to handle the new flush. So, how to prepare oneself and raise the EQ or sensors to apply this knowledge?
If he doesn’t value you, forget him and move on. He is not worth it.
The more we crave the more we lower our value..💯 correct
agree
@@margaretdelacruz4836 It works! My boyfriend started to talking almost only about himself, taking me for granted, not listining to my feelings and thoughts, helping his ,,female friends'' while ignoring me. Firstly I have been feeling sad, undervalued and unworthy but next step was to ignore him, don't check his social media and just move on to my life. After a couple of days, he started to wonder what's with me become more polite and soft. It maked me feel well but not excited and ready to put him on a pedestal - I know what I should do to maintain the state of chase.
So true...feed your craving with self loving activities...live with purpose....not only to please one person to have their love....REMEMBER...you are LOVE👸🏻💖
This is a very important lesson that I've learned this weekend thanks to your videos. I really needed to hear that. I am done chasing my love interests. I am a fucking catch, I'm the fucking prize, the gold at the end of the rainbow and I deserve to be treated as such!
Update: met my new boyfriend 2 days after and we've been together nearly 3 months now :)
Love this for you. Goodluck❤
Aye that's what's up
Update? Anything you’ve learned from it.
Sucker 😂😂😂
"we teach people what they can get away with through our actions."
This is why we need to stop rewarding their bad behaviors with our time, support, finances, body, etc.
Plants ARE more trustworthy than men 🤣
Truth
You can also take care of many and they will make you sooo happy ;)
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
YES
And they don’t refuse to grow. 🌳
don't look for love when you feel lonely, super dangerous!
“Plants usually don’t refuse to grow”... 😄😄😂
Mine do!🤣
😆😆
Good one!
🤣
😂
Recently stopped the "doormatitis"; so glad I did! Your description of the woman having not had a relationship for years perfectly described me. I had high standards & was not finding a man that met them. After 5-6 years with no relationship, I let my guard down & became the doormat. After 8 months, I put a stop to it. I know my worth & said enough was enough. A month later, he's back & we've communicated what went wrong. The "doormatitis" is gone & he knows it. So we'll see what happens. 🙂
3:26….yup. That’s the truth. Geert, from deep down in my soul, I thank you. I will openly say that I love you because you changed my life. Change may be uncomfortable, but I was able to see the real me underneath. Thank you for sharing your heart. Your dedication to sharing insightful knowledge inspires me. I admire your courage and wisdom. Now, I too, have the courage to make better choices in life and I can bravely say I’m a better person, inside and out. I appreciate YOU, Geert. ❤
Been single 6 years , learnt my lesson abt giving giving not receiving the same back, stepped back ,and now I see the signs of ego and control from manipulation, so I now know my worth and I love myself to much to be in that situation ,thank you 💜
Can so relate! Such a great comment, thank you. " )
Been trying to prove my worth to others for many years, now finally at a point of asking "Why don't I value myself?" Thanks for your insightful and empathetic video, Geert!
I value myself... I’ve been single for 12 years now! I’m only 37 and an attractive woman.
I know a great guy who is struggling with finding a wonderful woman. He's in Montana.
faeriefirejb Haha.. That’s a bit far! 😄
LBC Ulrica I feel you and I can totally relate..
I’m 44 been single 12 years
I did the same thing. The long time away from a relationship will impact you when you get older. Date.
"I am into plants because they are more trust worthy than men and definitely don't refuse to grow" 🤣😂🤣 I don't believe this but this cracked me up!
😂
🤦♀️🤣
This describes my most recent relationship to a T. I didn't date for years ,I was focused on being a mom. I met a guy who treated me well, but was hyper critical of me. I tried to please him, and totally started not acting like myself. Eventually, he said he "needed a break from seeing me." I used that opportunity to lock the metaphorical door on him, and I feel much stronger and better about myself without him.
I started being like that by cooking and posting pics of myself so he could notice me...trying to make him see my value. This video makes so much sense. Thank you
Oh wow this is a great idea. Thank you for the tips. Have a nice day Melony.
This is where online dating may be really useful. Even if you don't want a relationship at the moment, when you keep your profile up, you can see that there is abundance of men wanting your attention. Most people have a closed group of friends so when there are 1-3 single men in your group of friends, it's easy to start thinking "oh no, there are only 3 single men left, I need to hurry!". Online dating will remind you that there are more single men available than you may think, so it may help you adopt the abundance minset.
I find that when i put the least effort into making the relationship official, keep my option open, but still interested to know more about the other person, the dude always chase me so hard and they even ask me to be their girlfriend in around 2 weeks from meeting each other the first time. Btw i'm not that good looking or have a very high status, but i'm quite friendly with people in general, i care about my surrounding, but still do what makes me happy and live my life the way i want.
Great 👏👍
You are beautiful good you got it goin n girl!
Yeah that happens to me and when it does, I see it as a sign of someone who is controlling and aggressive. Nobody should be telling me they love me or that they want to commit to me within weeks of meeting me. That is just pure infatuation and hormones making the man crazy. I love watching these videos! Brian is the best!
Gal you are beautiful🔥🔥😍😍💞
Whatcha talking about? You are beautiful!
Those dislikes are from manipulative men.
😂
Lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Correct! 😂
🤣
The best thing about your tutorials is you focus on empowering women which is the need of the hour !
Yikes, you’re totally right. I’m totally focused on my career and education rather than my dating life. I doubt my own value
This is how I proved my value. Early stage in the relationship we were at a local pub. We started to play pool, when a girl he met a few days back, walked in. Apparently he had told her next time I see you, I'll help you learn darts. Well no pun indeeded, but he literally darts right over to her and leaves me hanging by myself at the pool table. I just stood there in amazement, thinking, are you kidding. I made a statement about how rude and disrespectful he was. I said, now out loud to him, are you kidding? He made a few lame words. I interrupted him and said, with truth confidence, I know my worth. It was awesome 😊
Did you leave?
I'm married and my husband doesn't value me so I left him ,don't have time for i know my value
I hope I can do the same
I hope I won’t have to.
Brave woman
It's not easy when you're married it takes a lot of faith to leave, but if you want make things work you are have to do a lot of compromising in order to make the marriage work
Hey Brian,
I was sitting quite on my bed almost brokedown after i got rejected by my crush several months ago..I needed to talk about it with someone,and dint know how should I take it and move forward. Emotions can be so strong and painful. But then, your video notification popped up and I should say it really helped me get a clear picture on how "self-value" is so important for ur well being. Thankyou so much.
I got rejected last night. I cried my eyes out, in front of him. He said that it is impossible to have a relationship with me. He will never have feelings for me. I'm still hurting now. Trying to find myself back after investing too much and devaluing myself for months. Wish me speedy recovery 🙏🏻
@@chikarae17 sorry you are so 70set. At least you know the truth instead of wasting years on this person. Take the time to grieve then recover and learn from this. You have value. You will rise stronger. He was not the one for you.
I think our phones are spying on us. This just popped up after my husband treated me like he didn’t value me. By text.
He couldn't be perfect. He doesn't belong on a pedastal, clearly. You love yourself, you know that.
You will find someone better, just invest in your self 😎
Doormatitus 😂😂😂😂😂
I have it 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
You’re hilarious, Brian!
I really liked this video because it resonates with me. I was in a relationship for a little bit more than 2 years. Things started fine, but with time and distance, because we were in a LDR, he was not the same person I felt in love with, but, I was still blinded by love. At last part of our relationship, I was ready to give up everything for him, move to another country, start from the bottom, but, he clearly, was not in the same page. He blamed anxiety and stress to be rude with me, to belittle me, to critize my body, for speaking my language, and i was so heart broken. Finally, he ended things by text. Now I see, clearly how I lowered my value for someone that was not that great to begin with. Thanks for your advice
Daniela Vallejo I hope your doing better now
It takes a lot of strength to admit this. Tbh you're strong 😊
@@MultiGats thanks for your kind words 😘
I'm a crazy plant lady.. and they are indeed more trustworthy than men
Honestly, this guy is a genius. :)
"Ignore the butterflies and ask 'What is the intelligent thing to do here' ", I really needed to hear this! Thank you Brian :)
Such a valuable video! We teach people what they can get away with through our actions
Don't look for love... let love find you 🧡💙❤
Omg i just went thru this..kinda felt good for someone to be attracted to me. I devalued myself and almost..almost became a door mat! Luckily after a month i said no you're blocked!
Your videos are so valuable, for anyone at any age of circumstance in life. Such a simple concept, but so profound for all humans, "how to value yourself" Thank you Brian, you're very valuable! I am reading your "valuable" books too!
It makes sense, but That doesnt guarentee That Person will fall in love you.Just That you doesnt regret it later for being doormat.
Isn't that enough?
Your wise and helpful content is delivered generously and with insightful understandable humour. Thank you.
Not the video I wanted, but the video I NEEDED... Thank you Brian for helping me realize my own value!!
Doormatitis GREAT
I suffer from this Haha
That's a good one. Hahaha. First time I heard it.
Thank you Brian for these videos. I married a guy who broke up with me four times. Six months after being married he asked for a divorce. I knew the problem is me... diagnosis = Doormatitus.. you are raising me up..god bless
I really enjoyed this, the quick jokes and funny but the plant thing the whole story ringing true to me :)
Your videos always put a smile on my face. Wise words and great anecdotes.
I did not ask for what I wanted because I was afraid of losing them (happened over and over again). I lost them anyway. Listen up, sisters!
Time to get some plants.
This video just changed my LIFE! Geert, you are pure gold and I LOVE LOVE LOVE your wacky sense of humor!!!😂😂😂
I laughed out loud several times, but there is a lot of truth in what you say.
You are amazing to listen to, I love your down-to-earth image and your incredible insights and wisdom. Thank you for the great advice, Brian. I love your videos!
Thank you for teaching us to value and love ourselves first Brian 💖💖
His humor 😂
Thank you for sharing your life experiences 🙏🏻
Best sense of humor in conveying serious and humiliating topics. Bravo Geert. 🏆
I've been following you for quite sometime now but never commented on your videos... They're really profound and you go right to the core of the problem. I find your advice very valuable and it helps me a lot. So true that self value is an "inside job". Still I find it hard sometimes to say no when I really like the guy but I understand completely what you're saying about our feelings blinding us. This is the case for sure! Thank you very much!
All your videos are really good - but this one is my story to a 'T'. Been alone for 8 years. Went to a music festival by myself and met a guy. I'm even a certified Master Gardener currently tending a large flower garden.... Had the reaction you described and laughed out loud when you said about her bedroom looking like a jungle. If only I could post a picture here. I'm in my 60's and I've literally been blown away by this. And then two days went by with no communication and there was my old thinking giving me a rough time. Your suggestion of asking myself what would I do if I valued myself, is one I can't quite answer yet because I realized I don't value myself as a potential lover - YET. It's so helpful when you have an idea of exactly how to apply effort in order to feel better. Thanks for the really good information.
So true!! One of your best videos! Usually we tend to project our perceived rejection on the behaviour of others but actually it is us who provoke it!
And believe me they test this first : self confidence and value urself
Can we say devalue? WITHOUT A DOUBT people know when you’re trying (or not) to impress them. After they reel you in, your VALUE will go ignored intentionally, thus a trauma bond has been installed. Now you’re stuck with some LAZY, boring and flatlined individual who brings nothing to the table. Move on.
You always have a choice ie not stuck! But I agree some people become v lazy and take for granted.. when I feel that happening time to make more plans with friends and take focus on my own life .. men are so if it's ok then it's ok and we look for some romance etc
treat yourself and he soon notices!!
Speak for yourself I don’t stay stuck to people who don’t make the effort.
@@dianemary I did an edit and speak to the fact ... move on.😎
He deserves more subscribers!
Yes, I can see now that I have slipped into doormatitis.
Thank you Brian, for bringing it to my attention.
Running after 'the catch of my life' sure has become harder, the harder I tried(you made me aware of that in the previous video I just watched).
No matter how much it hurts, I must remember to hold back. oh, that's gunna hurt!
But when his work takes him away out of contact for weeks on end, how do I decide when enough is enough and open the door again?
This was the best thing I have heard in a long time. Thanks!
Thank you for sharing your experiences to enlighten others.
Thank you so much! I was a little sick with Doormatitus but now I'm taking my power back!!
I really love your videos. Please post more.
This single piece of advice could solve SO many problems, I've done this so many times without realising. Thank you 🙏
Great & timely message Brian - thank you 💕 #doormatitis 😃
Thank you for being so candid about this matter..It open my eyes
I love your accent and they way you talk is very soothing! 💕
Watched this on the most important time of my life.. Thanks Brian.. it's an eye opener which I find difficult to follow..
Very wise lesson! Thank you. I’m glad I watched this video.
Brian, you are helping me alot to get easily recovered from this idiot!
Thankyou for your great advice. I cringe when I think of the many instances I have had doormat - itis. My goodness I am so very ashamed.
Self appreciation ❤ no one can give you as much love as you must give yourself first
Brian, I love your videos! Could you pleeeeeeeease talk about love bombing and how Narcissists use it undeliberately? I believe all women should be aware of it!! ♡♡♡
Narcissist use it deliberately!!!! There are way too many videos out there about narcisissts.. I personally have been involved with one.. and when you re hurt you search online and you find massive information. He talks about normal people, I prefer his style.
Very helpful as usual.i can relate myself to this☺️but now you change my perspective & make me realize that i should question my emotions first.Indeed self- value is an inside thing & one should take care of it.thanx again🌹
Yes you are spot on , I did this then I actually devalued myself by sending provocative pics 😬 that was so needy of me to do
EXCELLENT.
AS USUAL.
ENOUGH SAID (or written)!!!!!!
Thanks! Much needed reminder!
I like how you bring in simple terms the message that you share. Just found you on line today, and have listened to quite a few of your videos back to back while cleaning windows!! Made mundane work enjoyable!!
I value you Brian Nox - Thank you!🙃
Very very very good video. Might even be your best. The Storytelling really hit home
thank you so much! this is what i need right now, a kind reminder to always keep my value high.
I love all his videos...the way he delivers a message is emotionally touching.
And i love being that plant Lady!!!!🌲🌿🌱🌴👩🏻🌾🏡🌲🌿🌱💖🪴
I love this video, great message.
Your personal example is very deep and great for me to learn from it ❤
This legit feels like he was watching my last several months and shaking his head in disappointment, lol. It made me feel like I was losing my mind as to why I suddenly felt SO bad about myself when I had just done so much work that I could be proud of. The mind is a weird thing sometimes.
Love all your videos very helpful and none judgemental
"Dormatitis" 😂
Excellent video, Geert ! 👌
Thank you so much ! 😊
LOVE your advice!💗💕
Always such amazing insight and explained SO well! Thank you please post more often!!
I learned a lot from you! Thankyou, Brian Nox! 😊
😊tnks for reminding me!
Very good advice. You are absolutely right. Thank you for opening my eyes to see my worth one more time ;) Very inspirational ...
Thanks Brian, good advice
What an awesome video! Everything is SO true ! Thank you so much! xoxo from France 💜
This couldn't come up at a better time.
Thanks, Brian :)
You're simply the best Brian
Umm no,...I have been single for 15 years and never been lonely. The loneliest I ever felt was when I was married.
Me too ✋️ my loneliest times were during my nine years marriage
I totally get this...at theory level it all makes sense. Often, we are caught off gaurd and not thinking on these terms while trying to handle the new flush. So, how to prepare oneself and raise the EQ or sensors to apply this knowledge?
This really hit home with me .
You are amazing! Thank you for all you do!🌺😊💯
Thanks🙏🙏that was so good it made me feel better and actually it was the thing I've been looking for
Great message...I love your videos❤
I don't know about love lives or my boyfriend but you are such a good speaker for sure!❤️
Thank u sir ....love from India ❤
I am learning, thanks to your videos, to not be a blind mole no matter how strong my feelings are for him. My dignity must come first.
Pl more videos on this topic with eg.
U r so so practical in explaining dear