Weekend Update: Kristi Noem Shot Her Dog, Trump Complains About Trial - SNL
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- Опубликовано: 3 май 2024
- Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week’s biggest news, like President Biden saying Japan is xenophobic.
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![Jason Aldean - Should've Been A Cowboy [Toby Keith Tribute] (Live from the 59th ACM Awards)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/-B4nR-CgMVA/mqdefault.jpg)
"That... That was my best joke, Colin." 😂😂😂
It was a good joke 😂
@@angryox3102yea I think the audience just didn’t want to be doxxed
Americans love funding war
@@stephen_”Rabid Antisemitic Mob Allowed Into Liberal NBC Studio To Mock Israel’s Right To Exist; ‘Overflow of Support For Hamas’ Claim Patriots Viewing Disturbing Footage” - Fox News and NY Post on Sunday morning
I guess the pause for me was because my first thought was Ukraine, where we haven't consistently been sending aid lately. Then, I realized it was probably an Israel aid joke and sort of got it.
It's impressive that, with one bullet, she shot her dog and her own foot.
Tell her to reload, she still has another foot.
@@deependz3231:
Oooooouuuuccccchh !!!
FMJ equipped
The inly people offended by this are Dem libtards…. Wish this iption was available for a traitorous POTUS
somewhere Mitt Romney is glad the heat is off
"Sorry Che, but time's up"😂
"I knew it was gonna come out of you some day." 🤣
😭😭😭😭
About time.
@@russellinator 🤡🤡
Imagine if Che said that. He'd be called racist 🙄
"My people have suffered enough" bro💀
Pretty much how we got Trump supporters
@@mr.joshua6818yup, being openly racist to a group tends to do that
I love how he could barely get through it
@@OutsiderLabs okay snowflake
Seriously. Stress kills. If we allow too many unqualified white males to slip into jobs of responsibility, the harm that does could cause them stress that could shorten white men's lives.
Che telling some dark ass jokes tonight LOL
I love dark humor!😂
Thats just regular Michael Che 🤣🤣
Did you expect him to tell light ass jokes?
Pun intended I'm sure
he bombed
In my opinion these 2 doing this segment is the whole damn show. Can we just get an hour long episode of this every week?
Yep, this segment is all the funny left in SNL.
It’s my favorite segment as well, only I’m thinking one of the big news channels should pick them up to do the regular nightly news. The news has become so damn depressing we at least deserve someone who knows how to put an entertaining spin on it.
"I just say that when i bomb"
Che just left that there to fizzle.
😂
Justice for Cricket!
John Wick is on it.
Wow. That pence joke was cold blooded 😮😮😮😮
Not as cold as Kristi Noem shooting her puppy in the face because she doesn't understand dogs.
@@BlodhelmI'm guessing the puppy peed on her carpet and so she murdered the puppy to take out her anger on it. She needs help.
And hysterical!! And so, SO true!
and the truth
I agree that joke was excellent political commentary. Except in real life rump doesn't know what a pet is. He's never had a pet and doesn't like animals. The only animal he's ever been filmed with is that bald eagle that attacked him during a photo op.
I lost it when Colin said "my people have suffered long enough". OMFG xD
So did Colin!
His family owned slaves
I bet Che wrote that one.
@@aishabintabubakr4944 I know Che doesn't know this because if he did, he would've tricked Colin into telling a racist joke with this as the basis already lmao
Free 🇺🇸 America from AIPAC ; Israel is Destroying America
I advise all Orthodox Jews and women who are in the army to desert immediately. God sees everything, nothing escapes, the consequences will come to light.
Free American citizens from AIPAC
Hamas Slavery liberation movements, poor Palestinian people, even break their hearts;. Israel; all territories occupied by Israel in the Middle East will have to be handed over to the Palestinian people, otherwise the war will continue throughout Israel. 75 years of occupation and slavery and 55,875 deaths and destruction are a long time; Hypocracy and respect for other religions - Tribes of Abraham - is very important. Remember that countries that have relations with Israel Or Zahunistes it is better to cut diplomatic relations, we have had enough of wars and we are tired, the world will not accept unacceptable relations between people
Tough crowd. That set was an absolute riot!
Tough crowds crack up at everything like that? 🤔
The Japan xenophobic joke took me by surprise and the Kentucky derby "but to the horses as Squid Game" also great 😂😂😂😂
@@wm9346< says the racist 😅
I mean Japan ain't scared of foreigners cause of the A Bomb. They invaded Asia in 30s and 40s cause they thought they were superior and wanted an Empire like the European powers.
But now they just don't want a lot of foreigners moving to Japan.
@@wm9346 jokes about race ≠ racist jokes
@@wm9346 Not racism. Japan isn't a race and it is very xenophobic.
Japan killed like 20 million people during ww2
Kruella DeNoem shouldn’t be allowed near any dog.
"Shown here, wearing the hair of that dog"
Best line ever!
she shouldn't be in public office either.
Please keep “Weekend Update” going through the summer. We’re going to need the laughs….
Ain't gonna happen
And we need them rested up and ready for autumn.
RIP to the homie Cricket 🐶
Chillin in heaven with Harambe
@@christinap-cDicks out for Criket
Apparently 3 elderly horses and a goat as well.
@@lakeireland What's the odds three horses needed to be put down at the same time ? Also another dog just mysteriously disappeared . That dog kids your pet went to live in the city
I don't support Kristi Noem in any way. She is cruel. That said, most people support shooting innocent animals in the head--they just do it vicariously and pay slaughterhouse workers to use the captive bolt gun. We humans don't need to eat other animals (in fact, vegans live on average 6♀️ to 10♂️years longer than carnists). And innocent animals do NOT deserve to be incarcerated, tortured, branded, castrated, and have their teeth and other body parts cut off (all without anesthesia), then killed at a fraction of their normal lifespans--many dismembered while still fully conscious--just for the pleasure of human taste buds. 😢
You can get out of an abusive relationship today by going vegan.✌🏽❤️🐕🐖🐈🐄🐣
To quote Alice Walker: "The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than Black people were made for Whites or women for men."
Someone needs to put together a montage of all the Kristi Noem jokes from all the various comedians
I'll be honest, that Pence joke at the beginning was pretty dark. But sometimes that's how I like weekend update.
But oh so true with his wish of prez immunity. He had been reported to have inquired about nodding some opponent. He probably would support this nut job but that might just maybe turn the toed of his cult. Let’s hope!
"I knew it was going to come out of you some day" 🤣
Che those jokes were too smart
Yeah, each time I was thinking "They're not gonna catch that one" 😅
The jokes didn’t lean left enough
Pick a side … y’all have turned into unfunny panty waists.
@@agrey832 I worry about you that you think they were clever or that it took intelligence to understand them.
@@angryox3102 it's more like people with an IQ above room temp recognize the importance of helping allies against an invading force. That said we should NOT be giving money to isreal to help with their genocide.
“His supporters didn’t show up?Then who are all those cops?” Sooooooooo true.😂😂😂❤
Guess he's referring to the officers who were attacked on January 6.
Yeah, uh... I don't get the joke.
@@a2mark57 For some largely unexplainable reason, lots of police support Trump. I think many like the notion of authoritarian rule (aka Fascism).
@@kindablue1959 I still remember the rally tRump had with all police in the audience. He said police should assault people under arrest.
@a2mark57 so you've heard everything else about Trump but his whole thin blue line, beat up protestors, law and order candidate BS, you just missed ALL of that somehow?
At least Kristi Noem has that Disney villains vote secured.
Incidentally, a major portion of the the GOP base
@@tylerkochman1007 You beat me to it!
indeed, pretty sure she mentioned/bragged about it
to gain points in the eyes
of the notoriously dog hater bloated orange
As long as none of her voters like puppies she has nothing to worry about.
@@dr.g3860 I live in South Dakota and have known for a long time that she's pretty insane. I am encouraged that even a lot of Republicans are also very upset about this. Weirdly enough, many of them still think DT is a viable candidate.
“But I’m just happy that he’s finally not sending military aid somewhere”
Me: 😂
Audience: 😐(1 boo)
Me: the loudest cackling I’ve ever done 🤣
nguyen ...
This was the best joke. Definitely didn't deserve that response.
Right? Like that jokes was fucking fantastic.
I Assume it was referencing the israel 26 billion aid (more like War crime/ genocide) deal ?
@@Dolphins_are_our_Overlordsit’s also referencing the Ukrainian aid deals that have been going on since the start of the Russian invasion. personally I don’t mind sending aid to ukraine as it’s usually in the form of ammunition/missiles/vehicles that are outdated to us, and Putin cannot be allowed to take Eastern Europe under his control at least imo with regards to that conflict. Israel does not need our assistance in bombing the rubble that is now what’s left of Palestine
“Noem, seen here wearing the hair of that dog.”
“Former President Donald Trump, seen here definitely not sleeping.”
Just love “seen here” jokes.
Yeah, the Mitch McConnell ones are the best. And I like him.
Funniest one yet. Colin about made me collapse a lung with that “Thank God”
didnt know cruella de vil left the fashion industry and decided to run for office
😂😂😂
That "free travel to NY if you disguise yourself as a migrant" is actually kind of genius.
Sad and too danged true though!😂
That was how the mexicans got rides to the wedding in "Up In Smoke."
2 subjects 1 joke
Weekend Update's the funny part of SNL.
RIP Kristi Noem's dog 🐕
Cricket is getting his revenge by tanking her career.
@@tflowers6582 what the hell was she thinking with this story?!
@@tflowers6582she also killed 2 horses, too, I think
It amazes me that she thought killing a dog would be a popular stance among voters.
@@MC-yt1uv
It wasn't for the voters.
It was a job application for the would-be dictator to appoint her as head of his Gestapo.
Che, I see what you did there at the end of that bomb joke
I tried, but now when Noem’s pic appears I automatically turn off the sound, to quell the nausea. The ASPCA should have a warrant out.
Che deserves more applause at the opening
I truly believe you two are the best at delivering " The News." ❤❤❤
Fully expected the last joke would be about Noem shooting the horses
Yeah, they really missed it. Maybe Kristi can hand out some lessons.
They apparently checked with Noem if they could do that joke. She shot it down
I'm willing to bet that it crossed their minds. 😅
Breaking news! Kristi Noem just crushed a praying mantis with a hammer. Film at eleven. MAGA666
Kristi also shot a goat she had that she claimed was "smelly." She is too dumb to know you are supposed to neuter male goats.
Che just got the bummers tonight. But the "bombed" joke was amazing
But never forget Pearl Harbor started it all.
Che knocked a couple out of the park in the 9th inning
At least Cricket is getting her revenge.
"Seen here wearing the hair of her dead dog." Frickin brilliant! My compliments to the writers 👏
Che went full Norm MacDonald in this segment and I'm absolutely all for it.
Che's on fire tonight! XD
My favorite weekend duo ❤
The military’s joke was 🔥 The audience is crazy.
🎯🎯🎯
Yup, audience reaction was sadly too accurate representation of how the masses feel
@@Songfugel Because they don't want Dump's faceism in office due to Democrat voters not voting out of spite. I own a dictionary.
Damn they nailed it, right gets their “news” from Tshirts…or what was written in that truck stop toilet stall. 🤣
“Don’t look up here, the joke is in your hand!” - Wow! I saw that 40+ years ago.😂😊
It appears to me right wingnuts have expanded they news outlets from reading truck stop stalls to include bumper stickers.
In the cult of personality, believing in stupid things is how Trump supporters show their loyalty.
Why did I first read that with the Discovery Channel Documentary voice?
🎯🎯🎯🎯
Says the youtuber who has never read anything about economics in their life. How do you suggest we improve America's economy without adopting the same tariffs that EU countries have adopted, that has them now considering moving to a 4 day work week, because they can afford to? Under Biden, the American dollar has only rapidly lost value. Europeans have a saying: "Europeans work to live, but Americans live to work!" Oh, I know your answer: "What's a tariff?" Read something.
Damn, Che was on fire in this one.
One of the best weekend update teams ever!👍
Those colin is secretly racist jokes never miss 🤣
That's because they're true. He married a white girl, only racists do that
They fit perfectly with calling Biden a decent man 😂
so glad they finally said something about Noem's over-volumed and root-poofed hair, it never looked natural
"If you don't want college kids to freak out, stop telling them the truth." 🤣Real Talk ✊🏾
Truth is, palestine started a war and is losing that war. Truth is, palestine needs to free the hostages. Truth is, these crybaby college kids dont know what they are protesting about. Truth is, Israel has every right to defend itself and to exist in peace.
@@BlueThunder1120The truth is that the Israeli government and IDF are using terrorists as a convenient excuse to commit mass genocide towards civilians. Two wrongs don’t make a right, pal.
@@BlueThunder1120truth is, you’re kind of the crybaby here. We just tryna laugh at Jost and Che
@@mydognormrocks how is any of that being a crybaby? Its not, but you dont have a real argument other than your feelings got hurt so you spoke a bunch of nonsense. Suck it up.
@@BlueThunder1120 Started a war? No, terrorist committed a terrorist attack. Stop trying to justify genocide.
😂 Lately, my favorite part of SNL.
What exactly did this audience think they were here to see? They clearly weren't expecting Weekend Update.
There's always people complaining about the audience... Do you guys not hear everyone cracking up in the background ?? Audio or hearing issues ?
@@m1l1t1am1ke No, I clearly heard the audience groaning or gasping in horror, as if none of them had ever seen this segment before.
Knocked it out of the park again!
That “cops” joke was too fucking good and deserved bigger laughs 😂
Stereotypical. That's why the laughs weren't there and it completely contradicts the January 6th footage.
@@JenningsFilmsinc There are plenty of cops that support Trump. I think they gravitate towards authoritarian rule. Until of course they get stuck in the gut by a sharp flagpole by someone with a MAGA hat on, then they have their 'come to Jesus' moment.
@@JenningsFilmsincstill plenty of cops that support him, even after January 6th
BTW, great job at the Correspondence Dinner, Colin! Fun stuff, great wind up at the ending! Nice evening for you and the president! 👍💕
Sarcasm i presume?
Is it awkward when you didn't vote for the guy?
He sucked and was too slow in his delivery
Should've had Jeselnik.
@@brooke8567 Painfully slow without reason.
"That was my best joke, Colin."
You'll get 'em next time, Che! 😆
Che's remarks are NEVER funny. How do we get him to stop?
@@dangerfly "Che's remarks are NEVER funny to me." Fixed that for you. 'We' all don't agree.
@@dailynews5683 Ok, let me take a scientific survey. Nope. Everyone agrees, objectively not funny.
You'll look back ten years from and cringe at the lazy fourth wall breaking. Trust me.
@@dangerfly The entire Update sketch breaks the fourth wall. We trust that your critical skills are lazy.
@@dangerflyYeah ok
Those are some of the best searing political jokes that I've ever seen written on this show.
I remember the first few seasons on SNL being fearless enough that I was shooed from the room. This is the assignment. Keep. Pushing. Boundaries.
Che for the win! “What about all those cops?” 😂
Che is da bomb!
I have a untrainable garden Noem....what should I do?
LMAO😂😂😂😂
Train station
Ya’ll nail the jokes every time!
Good job at the correspondence dinner Colin. Had me cracking up. The end of your set was very moving.
This crowd must be new.
Che has a good point they dont send the police in when frat kids go crazy destroying stuff after sports games...
Actually, they immediately do in fact send the police in for that.
They sure as hell send in the cops. I've been on the field covering a USC game for the newspaper where the LAPD on horseback formed a line in the end zone and began marching on the crowd with batons swinging.
@@RARenfield Never seen it. I guess I can google it.
Also LOVE the dark humor 😂😂
00:58 the sneaky side eye oof
Michael spouting absolute facts and that crowd wasn’t ready for it.
Nice to see some bite in weekend update again
Chin up Mike. Youre one of the GOATs! PLease never stop doing this!
Thank you thank you
Henceforth Noem will be forever linked to the words "gravel pit".
Oh man, the squid game joke got me bad. Haven't laughed that hard in a while. 🤣🤣
Who said, "YEAH!" in the background to dog murder?
Probably Steve
some fat karen, probably
I guess a friend of Michael Vick was in the audience.
That was me. I'm supportive of animal husbandry.
only a lowlife would say that.
I think Che should've started the piece about the Kentucky Derby with "speaking of white people..."
That was legit good. Finally a good weekend update segment.
Im just happy he's finally not sending military aid somewhere 🤣🤣🤣
Favorite segment ❤
Weekend Update remains the funniest Part of SNL. Yes starting with ‘puppy murder’ is the kind of opening line that was old school and perfect
That side eye from Colin at 0:59 😂😂
"CAN'T PAY YOU" 💀
CHE! Trump supporters get their news from t-shirts ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Not the free travel to New York disguised as a migrant 😭
Michael really did well today. Especially the bomb joke at the end
Che,
Some of the commentors are trolling, blaming the SNL live audience for not laughing at a couple of your jokes...it's obvious those comments aren't coming from any of your real fans. We love all your hits and even the misses, we love SNL, and we love the audiences.
3:33 Agreed, Che.
“Draaaaaake!!!???” “He not a colleague, he a colonizer.”
Dude. Finally. They land a good mix of disses on both parties. Makes me actually want to watch next week.
“Also known amongst horses as Squid Game!”
Che, that one was on the mark, finally!
Che is so funny when his jokes bomb. Meanwhile Colin just keeps smiling and delivering humor with his jokes, lol.
This is a very disturbing story. Her own words: she was training Cricket to be a bird dog! So now the young, 14 month pup is running around excited because he's getting the concept of chasing birds. So when he gets it, albeit the wrong type of bird, she decides to shoot him in the face 🤯 With numerous humane options available, she chooses to execute that beautiful dog just to make it convenient for her. This is so disgusting, I hope our countries authorities and animal rights organizations can bring justice and imprison her for this.
She is a white woman. She won't go to jail... Mike Vick is the only person to go to jail over a dog.
I predict she will be "Hounded" at all her public appearances for the foreseeable future,rightly so.
Funniest update segment in a while😂
Che came with “the truth hurts” comedy 😂.
this country actually might unite under its love of dogs. politicians just have to figure out how to use that.
Biden has two dogs.
I figured they'd show a compilation of trump saying "like a dog" and pitch a joke somewhere. I haven't even seen any late night shows try it either. I just feel like there's so many.
Che's jokes landed for me!
The funniest update I've seen in years... :)
Che's foreign aid joke deserved way more applause
Sometimes the audience isn't that smart lmao
but it didn't get it
Jokes shouldn't get applause.
People go to jail just for kicking a dog
Michael Che's jokes were really good.
Che went out on his shield on this one 🤣
I don't want any more jokes on late night about cricket. It was a happy dog and was shot for being joyful. It breaks my heart beyond words
I mean, he was also shot for attacking a neighbor's chickens and biting his owner. Don't pretend the incident wasn't like Old Yeller.
@@jlev1028so you support killing a family pet? Noem has been changing her story every 10 minutes so you might think twice before believing her.
@@jlev1028 Old Yeller had rabies and the youngest son was about to let him out of the pen they put him in, so that child was in imminent danger. Plus the story was set in a time when you couldn't just call a vet and ask them to put the dog down humanely.
@@jlev1028 Attacking the Chickens isn't her fault and she didn't bite anyone. She bit at the evil "White Chicks" looking scumbag after being grabbed from behind while fighting a chicken.
"I spent all day trying to get this dog to grab birds by the neck and then left it lose unsupervised and it did that so then I shot it."
You racists are terrible at defending your heroes.