How I MASTERED detachment | STOP caring what people think and validate yourself
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- Опубликовано: 31 авг 2023
- Trying to MASTER detachment? Watch this entire video because its all you'll need. I talk about 2 main types of people, those who operate through self-referral and those who operate from object-referral. I emphasize the importance of operating through self-referral as it means you are TRULY living for yourself, not as someone who has no identity and lives for others out of fear. I then go on to explain 5 practical ways to SHIFT into detachment and live for yourself. I use a personal story to highlight that when you tailor your life around the potential of someone's acceptance or validation, you lose out on your SHINE. It's a must that you detach from the validation you are hoping to get if you sacrifice the things you want in life, it's not how anyone should be living because it's not truly living. I move on to talk about not caring what others think because their thoughts will arise no matter how much you try to control their perception of you - so just let them. Let people think, laugh, and judge, caring is not a task you must take on. Furthermore, allowing people to come and go as they please will greatly help your detachment journey. Not being attached to their presence in your life comes from building your own valuable identity.
Lastly, I mention a very important stoic principle called "memento mori". This serves as a powerful reminder that there are limitations to mortality and so it is your duty to live your life as you see fit. Detatch from the rest. The only thing your focus requires is you. I hope you enjoy & subscribe for more level-up content 🔑🥂
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Keywords: feminine energy, strong boundaries, financial security, dating, detachment, magnetic energy, well-being, peace, empowerment, personal growth, how to be magnetic, self-interest, dream self, emotional regulation, self-worth, that girl,seeking validation,how to validate yourself,external validation,male validation,stop people pleasing,chasing others,chasing validation,grow your self worth,how to improve self worth,validate yourself sis,insecure,self doubt,people pleaser,chasing men,emotional validation,how to be more secure in yourself,be more independent,level up,self development,stop waiting for people,self love,how to be a confident woman,confident women 
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How am I 65 and this little girl is schooling me like nobodies business ? I’m loving her ❤
😂😂❤😂😂
Same here! So glad I discovered her channel...
❤
She said “this little girl” 😂😂😂
lol! I was thinking the same thing! Almost 50yo and I am blown away by her advice, confidence, and direction. Yes ma’am, I’m listening, taking notes and taking action 👏👏
1. Be a ditz, choose not relaize what people say (If you don't choose to get offended, you won't feel offended)
2. Build immunity to judgement, by practising non judgment
3. Let people think what they think (you can't control it so don't stress over it)
4. Let people come and go - don't try to get people to stay with you, let the people who want to stay for you stay
5. Momento Mori - Remember you will die, do all those small things really matter? (This part really hit as a Muslim)
My personal notes, I'm going to try to actually implement this for this month of September. And journal daily to see the difference
in my life.❤
As Muslim what do yo do with narcissist family? You can’t let them go and they refuse to stop abusing you. They accept you to take abuse in order be part of family. I can’t heal trauma bond and just cry ask them why can’t you guys just stop abuse? They laugh at you they enjoy causing u pain. Yet everyone sees the lies gaslight they tell ppl.
@@SA-px3lnplease find a way out of this abusement field. Please keep in mind you cant change them by people pleasing. I dont know in which coutry you live. But if possible cut them off and stay by your own for a while. Please always remember you didn't come here to endure abuse. Allah doesn't expect you to unconditionally accept abuse. In muslim countries it is common to respect all the abusive behaviours of Family. They expect you to respect disrespect. Please know that Allah never wants this from you.
@@su9590 I live away. But while neighbours hood people I know are all family cousins brothers all same. I’m alone alone mother and I can’t break this evil eye whatever they did cuz even away I still have depression anxiety and fear fear all day thinking of them. I want them as family but mentally can’t let go. I’m alone. The only way is to accept them and somehow forget them but pain angry hurt they caused so much. And everyone in my area are same flying mondkeys they say just go back say hi act like nothing happens. But honestly I can’t take it. They are very evil
@@su9590 I’ve been doing this going no contact back and forth for years. Sometimes I left 2 years I need their help they got worse. Then again 6 months nothing works. Even distance I can’t stop loving them and letting go mentally. It’s stupid they do nothing for me. What does Allah want me to do? Back forth abuse is making me sick
@@SA-px3lnI want you to understand that everything will be okay. Understand that Allah is on your side and he will help you and that even in Islam, if it says to respect your parents, you can respect them but walk away the minute they start abusing you. This is essentially training your parents that you will not tolerate abuse from them. Practicing this will make it more easier for you everytime they do this. People treat us in the way we allow them to so ask Allah for help and tell him your intentions that you want to respect your parents but you won't tolerate abuse and Allah will help you find ways to still be connected to your family and also your family will learn not to abuse you anymore. You will be fine. I know you will.
As someone who is going through divorce from a narcissist, your videos are so good for personal strength and readjusting thought processes
A whole family of them myself.
So I walked away. Never went back started everything over.
Louise Hay 10 wsys to love yourself
Free on youtube
You are literally rewiring my brain, it's insane. SO glad I found your channel
Love the part about being a ditz to people who share their opinions rudely 🤣. I started doing that recently just bc it came naturally to me and it works wonders. Completely ruins the fun for them and they go away.
Haha that’s the best!
Can you please explain with an example.
You are Amazing I am 53 learning from a young wise woman life you never too late thank you 🙏🏼
You are so welcome
Vickita, I'm a 38 year old woman with a husband and two beautiful daughters. I'm proud of my life, my home, my beauty. Yet, I have been crippled my whole adult life with anxiety, thoughts of judgement, fear of rejection. Your videos are a Godsend. Thank you! P. S. You are so beautiful! (Not that what I think of you matters hahaha)
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my RUclips channel 6 months ago about self development. Now I have 389 subs and > 100 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessonsÀ we that I couldn’t have learned without getting started in the 1st place.
thank you so much ! i’ve watched like 3 videos so far on detachment. i’m 22 and i feel like i’m overly ran by my emotions from crying all the time and reacting in ways that i regret after . i felt out of my own control and i feel like your videos will help me a lot . Thank you
Oh my God. I'm binge watching your videos. You're a genius, and I'm so grateful to find you. More videos on putting others on do not disturb and not caring what others think. ❤
aw thanks lovely. Im glad you're enjoying my content and ill definitely make more videos on that :)
O wise and Beautiful Vickita... You appeared in my life a week ago and you have single handedly pulled me out of depression, loneliness, anxiety and extreme "BREAK UP BLUES" ... I thought my life was over but now I have hope Bcz of you .. God bless you.. Thank you . Keep up the good work! ❤❤❤
that is beautyful !!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
I have literally started seeing you as an elder sister giving life tips, cause i think most of the girls are driven by fear of judgement from society and it stops them from living their life
I would love to learn more about how you overcame your parental expectations.
The first part about your career-change decision not being validated by your father was way too relatable and triggering.
It is hard to be able to live my own life when I am controlled by both parents.
Thank you infinitely for the gold mine that you are offering this world.
Exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much ❤👏
I'm *so* glad I stumbled upon your channel recently... *Had* to subscribe after just a couple shorts! Thank you for your empowering content! Just what I need! ❤
To everyone reading this I hope and pray you find the strength and Confidence you need to overcome it all ❤️ Amen....I love how you think and how you view certain things which can drastically change someone's life for the better or damage someone for life
These topics are so important to talk about because it one of the things limiting most people and they struggle to be truly happy with themselves.....Thanks so much ❣️ This definitely changed something in me for the Better 😍..... I'd be taking the huge steps that are needed to change my life ☀️which I keep hiding from ....May God bless you greatly 💖 Amen
I’m loving that I found your channel . This is the second video of yours that Ive watched and both have really resonated.
I’ve watched several of your videos over the last two days. I love the way you articulate these concepts. So many GEMS of wisdom. New subscriber ❤❤❤
Thank you❤ I really needed it right now
Thank you so much for this…… I luv you! I’ve been so angry inside lately because work is so toxic. My anxiety has been through the roof….. this really helps!!!! ❤
Wow. The amount of power the last step opened my eyes is unreal. I'm gonna use that daily when I worry, thank you so much for your content 🙏
Wow,wow,wow!!! So much wisdom!!! Thank you!
I just found your videos today and it’s been a breath of fresh air. Damaged by one that I allowed to damaged me. My comeback is going to be glorious for me. Thank you
I am so thankful I found your channel. Your advice is priceless! As someone who overthinks & constantly worries, I'm working on changing that so I can just enjoy life more
This is the best and most eye-opening video I have EVER seen about this topic! Thank you so so much for making it
Thank you for those deep words and insight 🙏 exactly what I needed to hear now.❤
I am at 2:05 minutes from this video and I love it already!!!!! I am on that journey!!!!
Ohhhh thank you so much for this. I was struck by the "Momento Mori". I didn't know there's actually a term for this. Lately I've been thinking that all of us will die. It made me feel better while going through a painful break up. I realise that I'd rather live alone and live my life in peace than be with someone who clearly doesn't respect the relationship.
You are such a beautiful soul and I’m grateful that I found your channel ❤
I accidentally clicked on your video and already watched 3 of them in 1 day! I was looking for content to help me to detach and support me during a hard time separating from my husband whom I loved dearly and who suddenly decided to end our 20 years of marriage. I am blown away by your life coaching. You are incredible, the advice you give is priceless and so valuable! I subscribed to your channel, please keep doing and growing it as you are brilliant ❤️👍
You are totally AMAZING! Thank YOU.
So glad I found you! No wonder you are a natural speaker, you wanted to go into law at first. Love the message, a lot of strength and power in your messages
you are amazing Vicki, thanks for this
Thank you so much. I was struggeling for years, because I couldn't decide what I want to work and you just helped me to make it clear for myself.
thank you... I have a lot of issues from being taught since I was very young... and what would others think or how do you think it makes me feel. those are the wrong things. Seriously girl you are wise, I see these but you bring it to earth. Thank you.
What a gem of a video this is! 💎
You're so wise, I love you
❤ how detailed and thoroughly explained concepts, that you present . You articulate so well that the info actually sinks in my mind, and is beneficial. Love your style of teaching and how direct to the point you are. So glad i found your channel!!!❤❤❤
this is extremely well presented! so much truth in 19 minutes video.
Thank you for this! I needed this.
Glad it was helpful!
You are very smart, Vikita. I loved this video. I would simply tell your father that you are an excellent orator and I love your content.
SO POWERFUL
You are so smart and shine, thx❤
You're fantastic! Thank you so much for your videos!
Wow You Are Very Wise, I Needed That At This Present Moment…Thank You ❤
I love your videos but I think this might be my favorite so far 🖤
tysm for this , this is a golden video !!!
I love all your videos especially these ones!!!
So much wisdom!
Thank you for this! ❤
wow... thank u.. this hit strong... memento mori...❤❤❤
Best you tube channel ever, I looove the content ❤️
I'm so glad i found your content ❤
so glad you're here!!
Girl you talk wise, all makes sense!
❤️
This is such a great video. Thank u!❤
Thank you for sharing a good advice, its really open my mind after listening this ❤❤❤❤❤
I love your channel x
Thank you so much for your content. It is so useful!
EXCELLENT CONTENT in this video!!! (❤❤ed it!) All priceless advice for anyone , human ,to ponder on, and take action towards . Thank you for what you do! You are inspiring!
Thank you for this video 💙
Hello Vickita,
Super impressive messages in your videos. Keeping it real in a muddy world🤔 You are powerful❤️
WOW. AMAZING VIDEO ❤
Very proud on myself this channel was given to me by RUclips!❤
God bless you ⭐️
Your intro story is the literal story of my life with my stoic dutch father lol I can tell this is about to be a lessonnnn oooeeee
I love this! ❤❤❤❤
You go Queen!!!! xoxo
I'm glad I found your page.
Thanks!
Vickita, thank you so much for distilling these ideas down into a very well-communicated video. Some of these concepts are things I've felt for much of my life, but couldn't articulate clearly. Keep up the good work!
Love the video.. another video idea... trauma bonds.
Another excellent video. Plenty gems of wisdom ❤
If you can do a video on navigating controlling people that would be great. I feel it's these people that lay the seeds in others to seek validation.
Vickita, this is absolutely brilliant! The value you provide is top tier! This is Holley from ICA, if you remember me 😊 Just wanted to stop by and say that your videos are absolute gold and you’re gonna go places, queen 🖤♥️
Thank you 😊
Your content is powerful
Video idea: how to stand in our power and navigate beyond.
Great video dear! Can you please make another video on this topic !! I love hearing you preach about this !!
i love you so much. we will all die so lets TRULY LIVE!!!! xxx
Take the risk yes. It will all be worth it amen❤❤❤
Brilliant! I am also a proud member of the Disobedient Daughters' Club. My father was an immigrant who did not want an autonomous daughter.
thank you
You have great command of communication and vocabulary skills🌺.
Wow, thank you
GREAT content!!
thank you!
Genius advice especially the ditz ❤
It’s the best and easiest lol
Be a Ditz , best advice ever . I dont know anything anymore !! lol cant wait .
Please do a video on starting a business, how did you know what to do etc?
Vikita,thanks a lot...You have explained everything wonderfully.The most thing that matters to all of us is the fear of losing near and dear ones ,fear of witnessing all of that ,fear of living alone and also getting affected by the hurt people cause by their words and the urge to retaliate.If we master to control to overcome these two weakness , I feel life could be more interesting.Though you have talked about not taking their bubble towards us, it's still difficult...how do we practice on a daily basis? How not to get affected by people' s words especially when you hear them.How to build a wall .And when we say life is limited and we are to die within few months, aren't we focussing on that and won't that get manifested in our life.Its so confusing listening to so many theories...Can you make videos how to apply these on a daily basis...
PowerPoint presentation lol literally me with my African father. Keep up the a m a z i n g work. Your channel is fabulous & a Godsend.
Hello, I'm new to your channel and really love the content. Thank you for your help 🙏🙏
You are so welcome
I love youre Atattude Vick T ❤ Youre Amazing 😊
You are fantastic!
You too!
Your words are GOSPEL
Absolutely loving your videos. A little request please- your bullet points are so insightful they can literally be their own videos. Would you please sprinkle in videos that elaborate more. That would be easier for my brain to process too :). It’s so much great information that it’s challenging to take it all in during one video.
I love this idea 💡 thanks for the helpful feedback, I'll definitely do that!
Can’t wait! Best pep talk ever :)
Vickita you are fabulous. Would love to have a friend like you ❤️
Thank you Dedee❤
You are so welcome
Hey beauty thank you...❤🙂I am finding for solution.
New subscriber and enjoying your
videos. Thank you!
If possible will love your take on “ how to make lemonade when life throws you lemons 🍋 “
Going through something difficult, trying to see a positive side. But its hard.
You seem a very strong, spiritual person, inspiring
May i ask… what is your religious and education background? If you feel comfortable sharing of course. If you don’t… I apologize
Thank you again
Thank you god and universe
I totally have this sweater 😆
Appreciate you!
appreciate you too :)