The way to let go of needing someone (in terms of limerance) is to force yourself to think about you more than them. Compliment yourself all day in your mind. Tell yourself over and over that you are valued loved and respected to get into that feeling state. Tell yourself that you are seen and heard and imagine how that would feel if it were true. Do this all day for a couple of weeks. And soon you wont even care for this person. I swear it works!!!!
Detachment saved my life. I’m in a new relationship and for the first time ever, im not desperately attached to him. If he calls or not I don’t go crazy. I feel super in flow and all day long focused on me while knowing he is there and recognizing his needs. But im not desperate at all. It’s crazy!!!!! I am finally in a good space mentally and finally understand why I suffered so much in the past. This video is saved and I listen to it a few times a week as my little refresher. Conditioning my mind and my blue print. You’re my Angel thank you!!!!!!
I see in you a light of hope for me and others, I known a girl since august and we became friends, she friendzoned me when i confessed my feelings towards her like at month 2 of knowing each other, now she has a boyfriend. Feel like shit most of the time but thanks to God on this month that feeling has been watered down a little bit. Im going to try this, convince myself and my mind that this is the path to detachment, it can be done and it will be done. If yall people could do it then I can too. I don't have to depend on anyone else to make me happy.
Starting this journey now 🥺 coming to terms with accepting that I was really anxiously attached made me realize that I went about the things I want in the wrong way.. Looking forward to the future.. ♥️
I have the same but for this reason I don't want to marry or have kids. Since I can let go easily, I don't want to get tied to a partner because the relationship is not important for me. I think the detachment from the partner is only if you aren't really in love. At least better than being in love and being dumped. Like this, you can dump the partner too if it gets too hard. Why bother working on the realtionship if it is easy to detach and look for another partner or just stay single?
I'm trying to practice detachment. How does one do this in a relationship? How would you do this in a marriage? I feel like I'd have to not love or even like them to be detached and to not care if they give me love or not.
It’s hurts to think of life without my man, I never imagined it would get to this point where I would let go. I know im not supposed to write this here but I’m gradually loosing myself and I don’t know what to do. I’m still holding unto the beautiful moments we shared and I hope that he finds happiness.
Same, he’s starting to drain me. Feels like he’s a narcissist person at this point, I tried to have peace with him and he simply can’t even respect that idk what to do either, I tried my best.
Sad how when I’m single I’m just fine Idgaf about anything and Idc but then I’m with someone and get all anxious and attached but forget that i will learn to detach and be fine. I appreciate your advice so much !
When you like someone, it will bring up the early on wounds from your past. This is totally normal. The reason it feels never ending is just bc it's the same pattern. I would imagine, your caregivers were a bit too far away or didn't stay consistent the way you needed. You can work on healing this within and shifting perspective with your mind now which was the key for me. When you see the past differently, it changes what you see now! As you get close to another, the wound will pop up as anxiety or fear, you can use different somatic exercises to help soothe your body and make a new choice that aligns with that relationship you are looking for. I promise change is possible and you can be close to someone and feel at peace!
0:33 1. Let go of the person you crave most the approval (parent) 3:43 2. You can't control people 5:05 3. Not wanting to be loved for performance 6:20 4. Not changing who you are for sb 7:43 5. Not control, but instead try to connect* 8:49 6. Do what is best for yourself 10:27 7. Become comfortable with who you're and what you look like 13:28 8. The faster sb leaves, the better 15:05 9. Understanding that self-possession & confidence is the key to beauty and magnetism 16:31 10.Let sb be who they're than preempt their behavior 18:38 11. Move into your feminine energy *Anxious Attachment style is about thinking that you can control sb, because intrinsically somewhere in your life you didn't feel loved enough/ seen enough/ heard enough. Your cure to that problem isn't to find sb who likes you back. Your cure for that is to find somebody, who genuinely connects with you. - Desperation is really unattractive. If you're desperate things are going to be hard to get.
Whole video SLAPPED but when she said “The things you want will not come to this side of you (insecure, low self worth, codependent, etc. It’s going to come on the other side so let’s take the leap.” SHEESH. That locked it in for me. Definitely watching the next video
"Get comfortable with being uncomfortable." Your "inner child"/"happiness compass" will give you the go or stop sensations. Based on what you have been trained to work with.
she should heal her very very deep wound sshes not even aware of!its going to be very difficult for her! im a healer..shes not authentic and too self centered...
So sad. Took my whole life to see this. Promising myself to live the rest of my life not falling and surrounded by people like my parents and siblings. I choose happiness, my peace, and being alone now.
This is an amazing video, I really needed to watch this. I’ve been stuck in the pain of losing my husband. I used to think breakups were easy, but now that my husband has left me, I feel completely broken. I can’t even eat or take care of our kids! I need him back so much. I’ve tried everything to get him back, but he doesn’t want our marriage anymore.
I feel your pain, dear. I don’t think anyone can truly understand the pain I went through when my partner left me. I couldn’t have children, and I thought I would never get through it. But then, a friend of mine introduced me to a spiritual counselor, and he helped me reconnect with my partner. Now, I’m happy with my husband, and we have two beautiful kids.
Yeah detaching from eating and breathing would solve all the problems people have 😅. Buddha was only partially right obviously in many of his statements.
It hurts to imagine life without my boyfriend. I never thought it would come to this point where I might have to let go. I know this may not be the right place to share this, but I feel like I’m gradually losing myself, and I don’t know what to do. I’m holding tightly to the beautiful moments we shared, and I sincerely hope he finds happiness.
I completely understand how you feel. I went through something similar when my long term relationship ended. It felt like my heart was shattered, and no matter how much time passed, I couldn’t let go of the memories. I tried everything to get him back talking to friends for advice, even writing letters I never sent. Eventually, I found help through fatherabulu, who came through for me and helped me get my man back.
Comments section here is so comforting in knowing I'm not alone in my experience. I'm currently going through something similar and having just turned 30, possibly starting over at this age is daunting. I wish there was a support group for this
Great video. My relationship of five years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave, and I can't stop thinking about her. I love her so much, and I've tried everything to get her back, but nothing seems to work. I'm frustrated and feel like I can't picture my life with anyone else. I've made every effort to move on, but the thoughts of her keep overwhelming me. I don’t know why I'm sharing this, but I miss her deeply and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I can relate to your situation. My own 12-year relationship ended, and like you, I couldn't let go. I did everything I could to bring her back. Eventually, I sought help from a spiritual counselor who assisted me in reuniting with her.
“Your features are a combination of these people who once looked at each other and thought each other was beautiful” 👏👏👏👏 I never saw it from that perspective and it’s really a profound thought. How I would disgrace them by being ashamed of my features enough to change them. Wonderful video thank you 🙏
Plot twist: "Jake" not returning the calls suddenly won't stop blowing up the phone once you detach and keep it moving 😂. I'm happily married but took great value from this video and the principle of detachment applies to everything: outcomes, goals, friends etc. And what a beautiful reference to our ancestors, pure poetry! Thank you, Margarita ❤.
Exactly, I had a narcissistic ex who cheated did the love bomb and discard.. Then, wanted to be “friends” , but it wasn’t healthy. I finally had enough. Blocked him everywhere. So happy I did! We have to take our power back.
My partner wanted to break up until he came home to see I had all his things out on the bed for him to move out🤣. I was very calm...it scared him I think. Unfortunately he suffers from untreated mental illness, so he says stuff that is self sabotaging. I had enough of it though when he yelled at me. But he wanted me back, so here I am again🤣.
In Islam, we believe that when your heart is so full of someone, it's empty of Allah (God). Once you detach and only turn to Him, your relationship with yourself also becomes stronger, things start to come to you almost effortlessly.. Turning inwards is always a great idea.
I broke into tears listening to this ! This is difficult, detachment hurts , all I had was unavailable men in my life including my dad . It hurts so bad I’m grieving, but life is so strange why does it throw so many lessons and teach us so much about the things we were never taught about as a child
That’s so true. It does hurt but I feel Even with a present or absent parent we are forever evolving through life lessons and the power of God and the universe loves us so much that it doesn’t want us to stay stuck. I’m so glad I found this young woman page because I’m at a turning point in my life where I don’t want those type of people (unavailable) in my life like my father was.
Your comment made me cry .. It took me 24yrs to accept and really understand how broken I am. Been In denial all my life.. Now I’m focused on myself and not letting What ever decision my parent made Affect me and I have forgiven them for never showing me what love really feels like .. I forgive them because now I understand and know better. All I feel for my parent especially my late mom is “oh mom how hard was life for you! How she screamed and no one heard.. You can’t give what you don’t have ! I know better so I’m focusing on doing better and healing my soul… It’s crazy how After alll done I stil have so much love to give! So much !! But I definitely ok with my survival instincts It’s hurts but I didn’t pick what I was given !!
Detachment, while in the beginning can feel as though it “hurts”, it’s the only place to find true freedom. To be detached from the actions and words and acceptance of others is what’s true freedom. Not living at the will or victimhood of others is where we can truly learn incredible self love and self worth. Finding those things in others is incredibly insecure because we cannot control others. Detachment has made me a better person. ❤
Excellent advice. Detaching now from a love bomber who actually had tears in his eyes during our first date…telling me how “special” I was. My red flag alarm went off but I pressed on in the relationship. Compliments, promises, numerous daily texts, phone calls, dates, a bombardment of references to “our” future followed. But then when it came time…months later…to put action behind the promises, he was noncommittal, full of excuses. Somewhere in there, somewhat dispassionately, he revealed his horrific childhood. That, along with a divorce many years prior, damaged this guy I now realize. My love couldn’t “fix” him. He was incapable of committing to me…perhaps anyone. Trust your instincts ladies!
So sorry for your experience. The manipulative love bomber who takes his time to get under your skin and then uses the emotional leverage to show his true colors of non-committal, gaslighting behavior.
I am sorry you are going through this. I have been there and it was very painful. When we want love so much and a narcissist comes along with the love bombing, it’s so easy to fall for it because we are so hungry for love and attention, and the love bombing feels like love to us. I finally realized in my fifties that my attraction to that type of man goes back to my childhood relationship with my narcissist father. Now I’m 60 and detaching from an anxious avoidant, which at least was much better than a narcissist. However, it’s still the “working to get his attention, working to figure out why he didn’t reply, working to understand his avoidant behavior at times.” I have learned so much about myself from these relationships. Don’t give up. We must learn to love ourselves, but it’s all a journey. Other people reflect back to us like a mirror and then we can see things in ourselves that we didn’t see before. Then we can start to make changes in ourselves and make better choices. I expect my next relationship to be better than the last because I’m more self aware now, and also starting to ask myself “what do I think about this person” instead of “what do they think about me.” That’s a big difference! I wish you all the best. Peace Love Harmony
Beautiful message. If I may add one thing: let’s not confuse bubbly personalities with desperate behaviour. I’m a really calm quiet person myself and I don’t know what I would do without my bubbly funny lovely girlfriends.. If we all stay calm on the couch .. looking mysterious… it’s going to be a boring place
I AM going to listen to this every day for 21 days. Also write down some of the most powerful quotes you uttered throughout this video. You have an extremely stoic approach to relationships and I absolutely love that. Thank you ✨
Your video has changed my mindset on my marriage. I immediately called my husband at work and told him I'm sorry and I hear you. He has attachment issues. I have "I'm a strong ass woman" issues lol and I WOULD NOT "give in" to what I called his demands . And now, understand are truly his NEEDS . I sent him your videos called off our separation and told him that I will do better in understanding him as long as he took the steps to becoming detached.. thank you so much for your words of wisdom.
This message should be shouted from the rooftops. Women are absolutely wrong about what real men are. Women are superficial and just emasculae men. They chose the wrong guys. All the worlds problems are caused by stubborn jackasses. My own mom was a stubborn selfish sociopath and my dad dished all the abuse onto me that she deserved. They ruined my life.
@Essenceofme3 first of all he has someone who loves him that's why I haven't walked away from a man who is so attached that he monitors my car without me knowing fires through my phone blows up my phone if I'm 10 min later than what he thinks is a reasonable time for me to be home. We BOTH agreed to separate until I watched this video and thought maybe instead of me getting angry when he does these things I should consider that it's his anxiety. Which is odd he has anxiety since he's the one who stepped outside of our relationship. So before you make stupid comments like that think twice. Good day
This video itself is healing enough but reading through the comments section is beyond words. I hope we all learn to value and love ourselves more and more as we go through our healing journey. We're off to a great start with this loving community!
I’m not even kidding ever since I subscribed to you my life has changed for the better. I have become more confident and comfortable in my body, I’ve become less stressed, and started my own RUclips channel (I GOT MY FIRST 500K VIEWS). I love and appreciate you!
My anxious attachment wound comes from my father who was absent also. I never felt worthy of his love and I cannot imagine to stop seeking his approval. It is such a deep wound.. However your videos give a lot of insights so thank you for sharing your wisdom with us ❤️
I had some family issues growing up but I have secure attachment style. I don’t think it’s all fault of the family, I think our way of dealing with things has its weight too in forming a personality with an attachment style
😂”wild, random, strange people”that I don’t need to control or WANT to😂😂That really made me laugh❤ This channel is beautiful, and so are you!!!! So wise, so well-spoken. I love it🌻🌈🌞
I laugh too bc this is a problem of mine im always trying to figure out why randon Ppl dont like me and convince them tô like me and i Just realize How stupid It is lol
love video, just cant believe my wife left me after 18 years, she just left me. she doesnt even want to talk to me anymore. Ive tried everything possible to get her back, but nothing seems to work and I cant stop thinking about her Im frustrated I dont see my life with anyone else. Ive done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I cant I dont know why I'm saying this here, I really miss her and just cant stop thinking about her
Thank you so much! I just searched his name, and I found him, the reviews look amazing, and I m feeling hopeful now. I really believe I can get him back. I'm so happy to have found this.
I’ve read a lot of books, but women’s magic truths on borlest is on another level. It doesn’t just talk about vague concepts-it reveals secret techniques that can actually help you attract almost anything you want in life. This isn’t some watered-down law of attraction; it’s the real deal. You won’t believe what you’re missing out on until you read it.
I just wanted to say I used the “id like to go to lunch with you” instead of why don’t you ever ask me to lunch and it went so well! Thank you for whatt you do just know you’re helping people! I was so scared of confrontation and of being told no or left and it’s not that deep. Thanks again
One the best self esteem videos I have ever watched! Better than any Ted Talk. You're the best friend I think many of us would like to have. You are magnificent! And I had this video suggested to me at the EXACT point I needed it!
I love what you said about our features..how dare we think of ourselves as less than when our ancestors toiled and put so much into their lineage carrying on to let another person derail those efforts..
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
When I get to the bottom, I lose my will to do anything. Just listening to this video gave me some positive energy I really need today. I've made some really heartfelt commitments to others. But was clearly informed over years that I wasn't wanted, I was worthless. I'm still trying to overcome childhood scripts that told me no I couldn't, shouldn't, and would never have a role I wanted in my birth family and as true to script, I created the same preachments. Sometimes I'm really hurting, but I too remember my ice age ancestors, my snow ancestors, my immigrant ancestors, my ancestors who built this country with their own grit. I'm worth it. When I feel rejected, I feel hurt. I cuddle up, get some decent sleep and as my grandmother used to tell me during her survival stories, "we" (i) got up, and went to work to beat the band." Getting busy doing my own work helps me in my own survival efforts. Thank you Margarita!!
00:20 Let go of the love of the person that hurt you 02:00 You will try to win the love of the person who didn't see you 04:58 It's not your job to guide them into the right direction I don't want to be loved for my performance If im this or that enough, you then will see me 13:25 The faster they leave, the better. Stop convincing them to stay 16:30 give them the freedom to act the way they are
People of your ancestry who thought they are beautiful and chose themselves over and over , lineage who survived didn't survive for you not think you are not beautiful. My ancestors survived snow, wildness, hunger, struggled for you to exist. carry it with pride" - so so beautiful ❤
My father was never proud of me.. always critical. But at the same time he called me his little girl etc He then left when I was 12 and we didn’t have a relationship and he died in 2014 when I was pregnant with my son. I’m in a relationship with a man who even has the same name as my father, and treats me the exact same way. So over this hurt.. thank you for the advice.
Your videos have me in tears. Im sitting here really thinking about all the time ive wasted loving others and not loving myself. I just want to love myself. I didnt know that i have attachment issues. I worked on my first round of shadow work and about to start another. Because im tierd of convincing I'm worth it. Im ready to know im worth it weather they see it or not. Thank you for this. ❤
Literally… one of the best videos composed of feminine sage advice I have ever seen, and at the most opportune time of my life. Taking accountability for my lack of power. This hit so hard, I needed to hear this. Thank you 🙏🏻
11:57 this is absolutely beautiful. I had never seen it that way, thank you wow. the whole video is amazing I’m so eager to learn/shift to a secure attachment style and your channel is helping me a lot.
In my past relationships, i had been this masculine energy. I liked to look strong and independent and i did the things that my x would actually his part. In my current relationship now. I am in this feminine energy and it flows naturally. I accept it.
I'm in a long distance relationship with "Jake" and in recent years I have been attached. From stalking his social media, to checking why he isn't responding to my messages yet online and just overly feeling anxiously about getting cheated on. Thank you for your video! I want to implement and live a life for myself ❤
I truly needed this video. I had anxious attachment issues with my ex, and it ruined our relationship. Of course, there were issues on both sides, but I take most of the blame. I'm hoping I can work on myself as a person, and to feel secure with myself, and to heal. That's my current goal right now, and these videos are a true godsend.
I am crying as I’m watching you talk. I can’t thank you enough for this. I’m still struggling to get over my ex man who loved me so amazingly and he was a wonderful man…. And we promised to be there for each other even after we broke up. I know my wounded child played up a little, but I didn’t deserve to be treated the way he did, which was poorly and on repeat. He knew how hard my childhood and life was with my mother and all the trauma that I was working on and he abandoned me, just the way she did… I know I’m responsible for my life, but I felt so secure with him and our relationship and my life independently too… I know I deserve so much more. It’s not him that I can’t get over now, it’s why this happened to me and how the man who loved me so much was able to do this to me.. I “performed” for him after the breakup and I stopped doing that. I deserve to be treated with so much love and respect. I am going to build myself up, though it’s so hard at times… but I will.
@@LiaHartmanHey Lia, so sweet of you to drop a note. Well, sometimes I’m a badass and sometimes I’m a wreck. I’ve understood that I need to work on some unresolved childhood trauma and work on myself a little. And no matter how hard it is to accept, if he loved and valued me, he would still be here. So, I’ll be ok, because I don’t want to force anyone and want someone who wants to spend his life with me. Wishing you every happiness Lia…
"I don't want to have the job of controlling wild, random, strange people who are in my life in order for them not to hurt me." This. This was it for me. I rarely ever comment on vids, but I had to. Thank you, seriously.
It is so comforting to know that I can look at myself in the mirror and celebrate 'heritage' instead of 'current beauty standard'. It is in fact so very right of you to say that and I'm very thankful for you.
Comments on other bits: "Why don't you celebrate the fact that they don't want you and let them go?" Will always ring in my mind. The faster someone leaves, the faster someone new will come in and replace them. I am hoping for someone who respects my needs and desires and gives me them.
I love how she said your facial features are more about pride for your heritage ❤ that was really beautiful and I certainly have an appreciation for myself today!!!! What a great outlook!
You just articulate this subject so well. For years I had these issues with everyone in my life and I’ve done a total 360. About 80% of my relationships have dissolved.
Yes, we all want our parents to 'recognise' us. We feel that we have been 'abandoned'. We need to 'recognise' that we are 'sufficient' and 'good enough' and are the person we were supposed to be. You are your 'own' person and we must be 'accepted for who we are. We are not a 'performing parrot' to be 'used' by everyone else. You love people unconditionally you accept everyone's unique personality. If people don't respect you, you need to remove them from your life. Respect yourself for who you are. It's your duty to use your talents to help both yourself and those around you. Everyone has a unique 'story' and only you can tell this story. Beauty comes from within. Elegance is what a lot ladies do not have. Thank you for your inner beauty. Know your true value worth and never 'sell yourself short'. All good things come to those who wait. Be patient and in due course things will work out fine. If we make mistakes, then we learn from our mistakes and 'move on'. Don't let others 'download' their problems onto you. Its their problem, not your problem. Doors will open open for you. If one door closes, another one will open. Take your time and life will 'open up for you. Is there a similar 'strategy' for unlocking male potential. Thank you again for this video and all the good 'content' that you 'record' to help others 'keep moving forward'.
Thank you for this. I'm going through a break-up at the moment, everything seems to be so miserable and hopeless. You video had a therapeutical effect on me and made me feel a bit better. Sending you lots of love!
I keep finding myself on your videos and respect your logic. You said “nobility” in this one and it coined the attribute of what i have been missing in every man i meet. It baffles me that the men i have been meeting pride themselves for being “12 year olds”. Thank you for articulating so well such meaningful topics. 🌹 Ruby
girl your insights are on fire! i feel like you discovered a new area to feel gratitude and awe... the fact that our physique and appearance is the result of eons of people choosing each other
What you said about our ancestors in our facial features, I really resonated with that. I used to think I was not attractive or beautiful but you reminded me that my grandparents and their grandparents facial features and dna run through my blood! Thank you for the beautiful reminder how beautiful people are!
This is so raw, authentic, vulnerable, and giving. Thank you. What an honour it is to witness and receive. 🙏🏼❤️ I really connect to what you're explaining here about opting OUT of the position as the "metaphorical poop-scooper", opting OUT of the position of fixing and otherwise re-adjusting and controlling people. I truly connect to this because I literally had to redirect the course of my profession in order to remove myself from this position that people all over the world had put me into. It was expected of me as a public figure. I chose to reframe and redirect my course and the nature of my profession. I stopped being a counselor and instead just focused on living my life softly. Some of my friends question my success because of my choices but I know 100% that I made that choice because I did not want to be the people fixer forever. ❤ I felt as though I was feeding strangers chunks of myself! And for what? To superimpose myself as a thought leader? I had not become an author to place myself into that position.
This is a great video - thank you. The bit about "the faster they leave, the better" really hits me though, because my person relationship history is of having men who seem to adore me and like me and love me and want me, for a full year or two, during which I fall in love with them deeply, and commit to them and to the relationship; and then, slowly, they become distant, and treat me like they're bored and wanting someone better and sexier; they end up flirting with other women and / or cheating, or just being so flat and cold and unloving in how they treat me, that eventually, after trying to fix it for ages and ages, I finally have to end the relationship. By then, they have made me so miserable for so long, that I am really struggling to even function. So now I am afraid, not of someone leaving me, but of them staying, and slowly deteriorating in how they behave toward me and feel about me. I am afraid of the agony of that, and I don't know how to prevent this. I saw a psychologist and she said it sounded like I was choosing the wrong men, rather than doing anything wrong once I was in the relationship. I do think I've chosen poorly, perhaps felt very strong feelings for men BECAUSE they are so strongly attracted to me, rather than for who they actually are. That's a pattern I am working on changing. But if the relationship is not working well for a partner of mine, I would rather they realise they aren't happy, and either talk about it and try to fix it, or just leave me, than put me through this long and horrible cycle again, but men don't seem to do that. I don't understand why.
You always get it spot on for me. Sadly I have lived most of my life with anxious attachment, I never understood what it was until recently. I’m 56 and happily single, however I never say never. I recently did DNA ancestry test. It got me thinking and it was exactly the things you mentioned in this video that I thought. All this and self help as well as watching videos such as yours has healed me a lot. I know it’s late in life however I feel blessed to have been enlightened as I know that some never are. Thank you again for a great video ❤
My goodness thank you so much for bringing clarity and awareness to negative patterns in my life. I’ve realized this all stems from childhood trauma. I need to focus on my healing and do what is best for me.
Something I've noticed about helping others. Well, controlling others by trying to help them. Is that, we kind of have this feeling of superiority. Because we've figured out the problem that they're falling into. And, we get mad at them for refusing to step out of that trap when we show them the way out. But, sometimes, we ourselves weren't able to get out of that trapped like that. Like, sometimes we had to work through that problem ourselves. Then we turn around and get mad at other people now that we're not doing that anymore. But actually, maybe we had to work through the problem, and, now we're turning around and trying to help other people and we get mad because they refused to take that hand out of the problem.
I love how absolutely self aware and conscious you are. Thank you for sharing so much vulnerability, for touching on so many complex themes in such a philosophical way. Attachment is centered outwards, whereas peace is centered on the self. I couldn’t agree more. You are the true meaning of “beautiful from inside out”.
I love this. This goes deep and makes me wonder, whose love was I seeking for from my childhood? It all comes back to our past. Hence, once you learn to let go and embrace who you are and seek those who will value you for who you are and not for what you have, your life will never be the same. Powerful words 🥰
Probably mom. We don't just need food and shelter. We also learn by getting validation. I wonder just how many times an overall good mother can mess up and invalidate their child before symptoms arise in the child. And I wonder what severity of an occurrence of abandonment/invalidation can cause a child lasting hurt. Such mysteries. 🤔
@@thunderpooch You're right. It has a lot to do with our moms, especially seeing our dads weren't there much. Actually, I find myself staying by my mom before I move on with my life again and now I understand why. It's my final test to see if I still seek her approval. Wow. But, my desire not to have it is making me seem like the black sheep in the family. Change does comes with fight but it reminds me that I am making the right decision
@neilmorgan7051 me too. Me too. My mother is overly religious. So was my father, but not overbearing and he also died when I was 18. The fundamental, fervent Christianity warped my brain and wasted decades of my life. I spent years studying religion and ethics, etc etc. That sense of impending doom and having to get all the thoughts correct in my head because eternal consequences were at stake robbed me of a lot of joy and happiness. Oddly enough, I'm now an atheist, or perhaps an agnostic since none of us can really know about invisible undectable entities that refuse to reveal themselves in a controlled lab environment 🤪, and I'm trying to deal with the fact my youth is gone, there is no afterlife, and I have very little good in my life. There is some but it is so little and came much too late. I needed more truth in my life, or at least the freedom and acceptance to explore how I wanted and needed to interpret the world. More and more I think I really can't stand my mother. She never overcame her inability to have dignity in this life. She kept holding onto the belief that the world is evil, sexuality is evil, and eternal paradise awaits her if she just keeps believing she's worthless and deserving of hell but that Jesus thankfully swooped in to save her. 🙄🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
I'm to the point where i'm exhausted from: 1. Not having boundaries 2. Anxious attaching to my wife... however this detachment stuff looks like the key to peace😂. 10/10🔥
I can relate so much. Especially the part of embracing your background. I’m of African descent and grew up in northern Germany which is predominantly yt. I mostly struggled with feeling inferior and not attractive enough. Especially my hair was an issue. I was in several „relationships“ with men who didn’t fully accept me/were from racist families/would have never married me. Nowadays I’m grateful and proud of my heritage. I just started my journey to grow locs and feel so relived. Interestingly, after I spent several years on my healing, I met someone who became a dear friend who loves the country of my dads heritage, even learned some of the language (that I don’t even speak), loves it when I make Ghanaian food and longs to travel to Ghana. This friendship Kinda reflects my inward journey. He himself is Russian and Icelandic and also wears his hair long, like a Viking. 😊
Some of us don’t have children. She said she healed after her child. I guess we can find other ways like that comment below that says to use self compliments (affirmations). Another thing I found useful was finding love for a project; it gives you confidence.
Margarita.....can't belive how accurate you are....literally blown away by your insight and sense of humour omg, so great...a lot of therapist should learn this skill.....huge hug from Hungary and thank you ❤
This was beautiful and brilliant, Margarita! (My ancestry is Nordic/Arctic too. 😀) At 68, I am feeling a resurgence of my innate feminine energy, so it's never too late! 😘
I can't explain, how much I needed to hear this! Not as in like a "validation" kinda thing but more like, everything that I've been feeling and thinking in the past 3 years and I didn't want to accept, finally somebody just told me "Yeah you know you can't MAKE somebody love you or like you, no matter how much you try or what ever you do" which is something I was too stubborn to realize, I guess I just didn't want to accept the truth but you explained this in such a perfect way, that I can feel that I'm going to be okay with letting go of this one specific person, because it's a one sided connection. I love your videos btw ❤
‘ 7:49 The key is not control, its connection’ such an ordinary statement, but so so important when you realise that what we are doing in relationships mostly, is trying to change the person we love, almost always ahhhh
Hi Margarita, as someone navigating her early 20s your videos have brought me so much clarity and hope that things get better. Can you please make a video about fearful avoid ants - it’s such a complicated attachment that as a FA myself leaning towards anxious attachment, I think you would have a valuable take on the topic. Thank you for what you do, i appreciate your work tons
My God; Thank you, I thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart for sharing your deep insights and profound wisdom with us. I am so deeply moved by this entire video. It has brought me to tears repeatedly. Thank you again and God bless you on your journey
I just found you on RUclips by accident. You’re amazing with incredible insight and awareness. I’m so grateful for you sharing and teaching us. I’m learning and you are confirming. If anyone hasn’t told you yet today, you are a beautiful soul. And learning isn’t easy. So rock on sister!❤
I just realised that my wanting for people to like me back Maybe comes from my father.... never showing interests in what i was into as a child and young adults. Also from constant bullying from primary school and highshool. I feel sick. I feel like i wasted soooo many years as i am in my forties. Time for healing and time to start living life ....
Hi Margarita, fellow European Slav here. I'd like to express how much I appreciate your videos and podcast. You're not the only relationship coach/guide/wisdom sharer online whose content I listen to and whose advice I try to take, but you're by far the most authentic, realistic, down-to-earth and matter-of-fact one I know. It's clear you give advice from your own experience and not from what you've read in a book or heard from another coach. You say it like it is and you give dead-on accurate examples. Thank you so much for that. As for future content, I'd be interested to hear your take on breakups - dealing with one in a healthy way, winning/taking an ex back etc. (From what I know about your opinions I dare guess you're not much of a fan of getting back together, but still...). Looking forward to my next Tuesday morning bus ride to work where I get to listen to a new episode of Being Her
I think because it's the fusion of accents because she said she grew up in England and has lived in Australia for a decade or so? But russian is her mother's tongue. I can totally relate because I grew up in Australia but moved to the UK and I am eastern European with a russian speaking mother... everyone tells me I sound south African all the time too lol..I think when something doesn't sound totally Australian but also not totally British then people assume it's South African because thats definitely a mash up of the two accents 😂
@@elina3713 I actually am South African and she sounds 100% like a south african who immigrated to an anglo country like myself. She also uses common phrases and lingo thats commonly used in SA too, so that didnt help. I never heard of the east euro and aussie/uk mix resulting in an SA accent before. She had me fooled, crazy lol
Goodness , number 8 spoke to me in so many ways .. a day ago a guy I have been dating for 4 months decided to dump me because he said im “too emotional” when i was worrying about not being there for him during his move to a new apartment . I was completely devastated cos I didn’t even get to see the apartment yet we had been talking & excited about him moving since the begging of the relationship .. i tried to beg and please with him but he said he is done since it’s not the first time im showing him my emotional side … thank you for the reinforcement that i don’t need his lame self actually . 🙏🏽
Thank you for sharing this. My journey was a bit different and involved forgiving my mum for the abuse, learning how to love myself, and finding peace. I have done self parenting, and finally became content, proud and masculine. God bless you
Loved this a lot and as I'm healing from control issues, I really relate with all that you've said. In my case, I thought I could just up and move over from a guy but this heart still has residual feelings. So instead of preempting any actions or having delusions or putting on a performance, I'm just going to be real and sit back and let him behave as he wants to. He also deserves the freedom to decide if I'm someone he can work together with rather than me lying to him about acting or being in a certain way. This is quite a new experience for me when it comes to getting to know someone that I'm romantically interested in and it was initially scary, because my controlling issues just came out, but your videos really helps to ground me so I can learn this lesson as calmly as possible. It's really not easy at all, but I'm so thankful I came across your videos just before I turn 30 next year, so I'll be able to attract better relationships and opportunities to my life ❤
If you haven't heard today... You are so very loved and you are so very worthy of love. The hardest part is learning to love yourself and to know: it's not all your fault, and to see: that you're beautiful; wonderfully perfectly brilliantly created. You're stronger than most; a true leader/warrior in the making. Keep going and keep thanking. Remember Jesus was an outcast and he suffered more than any human being could ever endure... And the most important message here is to forgive them and to forgive yourself and to love all. Keep walking in truth. One of the great poems of the Zen tradition ends with this description of the awakened state: “To be without suffering over imperfection(s).” AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER: I am one with the Divine. I experience, peace, BLISS, love, and joy: CONSTANTLY AND CONSISTENTLY. I experience everything as grace AND AS LOVE. I am at peace. I honor the Divine within me.
This video is so inspiring! The journey of self-love and standing up for yourself is truly transformative thank you for sharing this reminder we all need! ❤
1:16 ❤2:00 ❤ EVERY single word of this video is pure gold. Since I discovered your videos a few weeks ago, you've helped me see things differently, but THIS VIDEO, this right here... opened up something in me and I felt the last chip of anxious attatchment in my soul fall away. Thank you so much for the work you do. 😢 I'm a basket of happy tears right now because I finally get it. You've opened my eyes THANK YOU. I intend on listening to this Every morning❤❤❤❤
If you need to be someone else in order to be loved, you will forever be wearing a surface level anxious mask in relationships. You deserve deep, unconditional love and other things that you may not have received as a child. You are worthy just for being. You cannot receive the safety/ validation/ security / love you seek in others until you give it to yourself first. The irony is our subcobscious will seek partners who you think will provide this but will inevitably prove this true as a pattern until you do the inner work and healing and then you will also attract healthier people. Reflection of your own projection. True love starts with you. And you worthy of the best love. Sending so much love and light and a squeezer hug to your inner child reading this.♥️
I love how you can be direct without being hurtful and telling the truth while keeping the viewers feelings in mind. It’s like direct in a loving way🥰great video and message
This whole video was such a slap to the face but in the best way possible like a wake up call, it was gut wrenching knowing a lot of these thoughts/behaviors i actively exhibit n just made me realize a lot but I no longer want to identify w anxious attachment I want to heal n be secured n free
I struggled with this so much and trying to practice detachment always had this underlying thought that when I detach, they will come to me. And it doesn’t work. You just have to become so effing sick of being this way and focusing on other people. Mad. Exhausted. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t quite get it right yet.
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The way to let go of needing someone (in terms of limerance) is to force yourself to think about you more than them. Compliment yourself all day in your mind. Tell yourself over and over that you are valued loved and respected to get into that feeling state. Tell yourself that you are seen and heard and imagine how that would feel if it were true. Do this all day for a couple of weeks. And soon you wont even care for this person. I swear it works!!!!
Thank you
Yes this is why they say meet your needs first to become secure bc then you won’t need them or anyone.
I'll try it out
Yeah…Alex A is like atomic -bomb explosion…hopefully we can see the sun shine again tomorrow 😁
Agreed!
Detachment saved my life.
I’m in a new relationship and for the first time ever, im not desperately attached to him.
If he calls or not I don’t go crazy. I feel super in flow and all day long focused on me while knowing he is there and recognizing his needs.
But im not desperate at all. It’s crazy!!!!! I am finally in a good space mentally and finally understand why I suffered so much in the past.
This video is saved and I listen to it a few times a week as my little refresher. Conditioning my mind and my blue print.
You’re my Angel thank you!!!!!!
I see in you a light of hope for me and others, I known a girl since august and we became friends, she friendzoned me when i confessed my feelings towards her like at month 2 of knowing each other, now she has a boyfriend. Feel like shit most of the time but thanks to God on this month that feeling has been watered down a little bit.
Im going to try this, convince myself and my mind that this is the path to detachment, it can be done and it will be done. If yall people could do it then I can too. I don't have to depend on anyone else to make me happy.
im so happy for you, you can be super proud of yourself!!
Starting this journey now 🥺 coming to terms with accepting that I was really anxiously attached made me realize that I went about the things I want in the wrong way.. Looking forward to the future.. ♥️
I have the same but for this reason I don't want to marry or have kids. Since I can let go easily, I don't want to get tied to a partner because the relationship is not important for me. I think the detachment from the partner is only if you aren't really in love. At least better than being in love and being dumped. Like this, you can dump the partner too if it gets too hard. Why bother working on the realtionship if it is easy to detach and look for another partner or just stay single?
I'm trying to practice detachment. How does one do this in a relationship? How would you do this in a marriage? I feel like I'd have to not love or even like them to be detached and to not care if they give me love or not.
It’s hurts to think of life without my man, I never imagined it would get to this point where I would let go. I know im not supposed to write this here but I’m gradually loosing myself and I don’t know what to do. I’m still holding unto the beautiful moments we shared and I hope that he finds happiness.
Wow, this really lifted my spirit.
How do I get in touch with this father abulu
Thank u so much🙏 indeed sharing problems brings solution. I'm so grateful
Same, he’s starting to drain me. Feels like he’s a narcissist person at this point, I tried to have peace with him and he simply can’t even respect that idk what to do either, I tried my best.
Same
“People survived in the snow to create me, and Jake isn’t returning my calls…” love this so much 😂😂👍🏼
She often brings a lot of perspective through humour 😂 I love it too 😊 x
Riggggggggggggggggggght! Marched and fought, foraged..and imma let another dummy derail my potential?
My favorite part! I literally think this way. I've come too far, my ancestors went through too much to put up with that. Lol
Lmfao that’s my boyfriend’s name. I feel attacked 😂
Sad how when I’m single I’m just fine Idgaf about anything and Idc but then I’m with someone and get all anxious and attached but forget that i will learn to detach and be fine. I appreciate your advice so much !
I go through the same thing.
Sameee!
Same!
Same here!!
When you like someone, it will bring up the early on wounds from your past. This is totally normal. The reason it feels never ending is just bc it's the same pattern. I would imagine, your caregivers were a bit too far away or didn't stay consistent the way you needed. You can work on healing this within and shifting perspective with your mind now which was the key for me. When you see the past differently, it changes what you see now! As you get close to another, the wound will pop up as anxiety or fear, you can use different somatic exercises to help soothe your body and make a new choice that aligns with that relationship you are looking for. I promise change is possible and you can be close to someone and feel at peace!
0:33 1. Let go of the person you crave most the approval (parent)
3:43 2. You can't control people
5:05 3. Not wanting to be loved for performance
6:20 4. Not changing who you are for sb
7:43 5. Not control, but instead try to connect*
8:49 6. Do what is best for yourself
10:27 7. Become comfortable with who you're and what you look like
13:28 8. The faster sb leaves, the better
15:05 9. Understanding that self-possession & confidence is the key to beauty and magnetism
16:31 10.Let sb be who they're than preempt their behavior
18:38 11. Move into your feminine energy
*Anxious Attachment style is about thinking that you can control sb, because intrinsically somewhere in your life you didn't feel loved enough/ seen enough/ heard enough.
Your cure to that problem isn't to find sb who likes you back. Your cure for that is to find somebody, who genuinely connects with you.
- Desperation is really unattractive. If you're desperate things are going to be hard to get.
@13:48 this part!!!!
People like you need to be protected at all cost. Thank you
Thank you! You’re the best!
The effort. 😘
Not all heroes wear capes ✨
Whole video SLAPPED but when she said “The things you want will not come to this side of you (insecure, low self worth, codependent, etc. It’s going to come on the other side so let’s take the leap.” SHEESH. That locked it in for me. Definitely watching the next video
I agree just came across this and she is flat amazing
"Get comfortable with being uncomfortable."
Your "inner child"/"happiness compass" will give you the go or stop sensations. Based on what you have been trained to work with.
she should heal her very very deep wound sshes not even aware of!its going to be very difficult for her! im a healer..shes not authentic and too self centered...
True ❤️❤️
Yesssssss
“You will try and win love from the type of person who didn’t see you”. That hit home
So sad. Took my whole life to see this. Promising myself to live the rest of my life not falling and surrounded by people like my parents and siblings. I choose happiness, my peace, and being alone now.
This is an amazing video, I really needed to watch this. I’ve been stuck in the pain of losing my husband. I used to think breakups were easy, but now that my husband has left me, I feel completely broken. I can’t even eat or take care of our kids! I need him back so much. I’ve tried everything to get him back, but he doesn’t want our marriage anymore.
I feel your pain, dear. I don’t think anyone can truly understand the pain I went through when my partner left me. I couldn’t have children, and I thought I would never get through it. But then, a friend of mine introduced me to a spiritual counselor, and he helped me reconnect with my partner. Now, I’m happy with my husband, and we have two beautiful kids.
Wow, that’s incredible! Please, who is this counselor, and how can I reach him? I don’t think I can bear this pain any longer.
His name is Father Akabu. You can look him up I’m certain he can help you. No one should have to go through this kind of pain.
Thank you so much, you are an angel sent by God. I’m definitely reaching out to him.
Your children are much more important than you realize. Pls focus on them. ❤❤
This just reminded me of something! This book called “The Art of Seductive Power by Juliet Arden”. My confidence shifted in a whole new way.
Heyyy... Is there any pdf available for that book?
@@Hiralbazala03iits ebook so yes
@@Hiralbazala03i just checked
no, it didn't
"people survived in the snow for me to be here and you're not returning my calls" just did it for me.
❤
The root of suffering is attachment - Buddha
Holy smokes
Why isn’t she speaking about her problems more frankly 🤨instead #phd
Detached? or non-attached? .....there's a big difference
Yeah detaching from eating and breathing would solve all the problems people have 😅. Buddha was only partially right obviously in many of his statements.
@@tahitihawaiiblue
Things that are necessities don't count.
Real Talk 🔥 My ancestors didn't fight for life and a better world so that I could sell myself short. Thanks for these reminders 🙏
wow so true
My ancestors did fight for life and a battle….and I am still heere 😁
@@soulfate2 no its a bunch of baloney
@mikepiccolo32 how so?
@@thunderpooch no substance to it just double talk .Some sort of philosophy
It hurts to imagine life without my boyfriend. I never thought it would come to this point where I might have to let go. I know this may not be the right place to share this, but I feel like I’m gradually losing myself, and I don’t know what to do. I’m holding tightly to the beautiful moments we shared, and I sincerely hope he finds happiness.
I completely understand how you feel. I went through something similar when my long term relationship ended. It felt like my heart was shattered, and no matter how much time passed, I couldn’t let go of the memories. I tried everything to get him back talking to friends for advice, even writing letters I never sent. Eventually, I found help through fatherabulu, who came through for me and helped me get my man back.
Wow, this really gives me hope. How can I get in touch with fatherabulu?
It’s super easy! His handle is, Fatherabulu. Just reach out and explain your situation to him. He’s a great listener and offers helpful advice too.
Thank you so much! 🙏 You’re right sharing really does bring solutions. I’m so grateful.
Comments section here is so comforting in knowing I'm not alone in my experience. I'm currently going through something similar and having just turned 30, possibly starting over at this age is daunting. I wish there was a support group for this
Great video. My relationship of five years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave, and I can't stop thinking about her. I love her so much, and I've tried everything to get her back, but nothing seems to work. I'm frustrated and feel like I can't picture my life with anyone else. I've made every effort to move on, but the thoughts of her keep overwhelming me. I don’t know why I'm sharing this, but I miss her deeply and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I can relate to your situation. My own 12-year relationship ended, and like you, I couldn't let go. I did everything I could to bring her back. Eventually, I sought help from a spiritual counselor who assisted me in reuniting with her.
That’s amazing. How did you find this spiritual counselor, and how can I contact him?
His name is Fatherabulu. He has remarkable powers and can help you too.
Thank you for sharing this! I just looked him up online and I'm really impressed.
I see this same fucking comment, bro, we know you a scam and a bot 🤖
“Your features are a combination of these people who once looked at each other and thought each other was beautiful” 👏👏👏👏 I never saw it from that perspective and it’s really a profound thought. How I would disgrace them by being ashamed of my features enough to change them. Wonderful video thank you 🙏
Yes I loved that part so much!!!
The problem is when you think youre beautiful but you cant find another beautiful match
such a lovely perspective
Incredible eye opening ❤
A really beautiful perspective ❤
Plot twist: "Jake" not returning the calls suddenly won't stop blowing up the phone once you detach and keep it moving 😂. I'm happily married but took great value from this video and the principle of detachment applies to everything: outcomes, goals, friends etc. And what a beautiful reference to our ancestors, pure poetry! Thank you, Margarita ❤.
Exactly, I had a narcissistic ex who cheated did the love bomb and discard.. Then, wanted to be “friends” , but it wasn’t healthy. I finally had enough. Blocked him everywhere. So happy I did! We have to take our power back.
@@kathleenharris8824had same experience in past two years. Breaking free from such guy is so shattering but worth it at the end
My partner wanted to break up until he came home to see I had all his things out on the bed for him to move out🤣. I was very calm...it scared him I think. Unfortunately he suffers from untreated mental illness, so he says stuff that is self sabotaging. I had enough of it though when he yelled at me. But he wanted me back, so here I am again🤣.
I really like the part where you mentioned : my role is to be myself and their role is to be themselves, it hits me in a different way.
"Everything meant for me will be attracted to me!" Thank you for that perspective and utterance.❤
In Islam, we believe that when your heart is so full of someone, it's empty of Allah (God). Once you detach and only turn to Him, your relationship with yourself also becomes stronger, things start to come to you almost effortlessly.. Turning inwards is always a great idea.
Love this we have the same in Christianity❤ at least what I learned. God is our first and only true Love!
Indeed
I like what you said. It’s true
Addiction is absence of God 🙏
That’s true because you’re not making an idol of that one person!
I broke into tears listening to this ! This is difficult, detachment hurts , all I had was unavailable men in my life including my dad . It hurts so bad I’m grieving, but life is so strange why does it throw so many lessons and teach us so much about the things we were never taught about as a child
That’s so true. It does hurt but I feel Even with a present or absent parent we are forever evolving through life lessons and the power of God and the universe loves us so much that it doesn’t want us to stay stuck. I’m so glad I found this young woman page because I’m at a turning point in my life where I don’t want those type of people (unavailable) in my life like my father was.
Your comment made me cry ..
It took me 24yrs to accept and really understand how broken
I am.
Been In denial all my life..
Now
I’m focused on myself and not letting
What ever decision my parent made
Affect me and I have forgiven them for never showing me what love really feels like ..
I forgive them because now I understand and know better.
All I feel for my parent especially my late mom is “oh mom how hard was life for you! How she screamed and no one heard..
You can’t give what you don’t have !
I know better so I’m focusing on doing better and healing my soul…
It’s crazy how
After alll done
I stil have so much love to give!
So much !! But I definitely ok with my survival instincts
It’s hurts but I didn’t pick what I was given !!
The same😢
@@Oriejisame
Detachment, while in the beginning can feel as though it “hurts”, it’s the only place to find true freedom. To be detached from the actions and words and acceptance of others is what’s true freedom. Not living at the will or victimhood of others is where we can truly learn incredible self love and self worth. Finding those things in others is incredibly insecure because we cannot control others. Detachment has made me a better person. ❤
Love yourself and you will attract the right people in your life.
💯
How do I start to love myself? I have been trying to figure this out.
How do i love myself 😢
Excellent advice. Detaching now from a love bomber who actually had tears in his eyes during our first date…telling me how “special” I was. My red flag alarm went off but I pressed on in the relationship. Compliments, promises, numerous daily texts, phone calls, dates, a bombardment of references to “our” future followed. But then when it came time…months later…to put action behind the promises, he was noncommittal, full of excuses. Somewhere in there, somewhat dispassionately, he revealed his horrific childhood. That, along with a divorce many years prior, damaged this guy I now realize. My love couldn’t “fix” him. He was incapable of committing to me…perhaps anyone. Trust your instincts ladies!
❤
So sorry for your experience. The manipulative love bomber who takes his time to get under your skin and then uses the emotional leverage to show his true colors of non-committal, gaslighting behavior.
@@mallikaroychoudhury3913there was no manipulation. Discernment is always available. We just decide to acknowledge the red flags, or we don't.
I am sorry you are going through this. I have been there and it was very painful. When we want love so much and a narcissist comes along with the love bombing, it’s so easy to fall for it because we are so hungry for love and attention, and the love bombing feels like love to us. I finally realized in my fifties that my attraction to that type of man goes back to my childhood relationship with my narcissist father. Now I’m 60 and detaching from an anxious avoidant, which at least was much better than a narcissist. However, it’s still the “working to get his attention, working to figure out why he didn’t reply, working to understand his avoidant behavior at times.” I have learned so much about myself from these relationships. Don’t give up. We must learn to love ourselves, but it’s all a journey. Other people reflect back to us like a mirror and then we can see things in ourselves that we didn’t see before. Then we can start to make changes in ourselves and make better choices. I expect my next relationship to be better than the last because I’m more self aware now, and also starting to ask myself “what do I think about this person” instead of “what do they think about me.” That’s a big difference! I wish you all the best. Peace Love Harmony
I can so relate!
My dad hated me growing up and wasn’t shy about letting me know that. As a 28 year old I can’t imagine talking to a 7 year old the way he did me.
Same
Absolute same.
Beautiful message.
If I may add one thing: let’s not confuse bubbly personalities with desperate behaviour. I’m a really calm quiet person myself and I don’t know what I would do without my bubbly funny lovely girlfriends..
If we all stay calm on the couch .. looking mysterious… it’s going to be a boring place
I AM going to listen to this every day for 21 days. Also write down some of the most powerful quotes you uttered throughout this video. You have an extremely stoic approach to relationships and I absolutely love that. Thank you ✨
I love this idea. I’m going to join you for the next 21 days 🙌🏼 report back with how it goes!
How did it go?
How is going?🙏🏻
I want to do the same thing! Starting today!
how is it goinggg?🤍
Your video has changed my mindset on my marriage. I immediately called my husband at work and told him I'm sorry and I hear you. He has attachment issues. I have "I'm a strong ass woman" issues lol and I WOULD NOT "give in" to what I called his demands . And now, understand are truly his NEEDS . I sent him your videos called off our separation and told him that I will do better in understanding him as long as he took the steps to becoming detached.. thank you so much for your words of wisdom.
@shayharris5729 ❤❤❤ hearing how thoughtful YT videos change-even save-people’s lives!
Sending you some love ♥️
He needs someone that loves him. Please let him go
This message should be shouted from the rooftops. Women are absolutely wrong about what real men are. Women are superficial and just emasculae men. They chose the wrong guys. All the worlds problems are caused by stubborn jackasses.
My own mom was a stubborn selfish sociopath and my dad dished all the abuse onto me that she deserved. They ruined my life.
@Essenceofme3 first of all he has someone who loves him that's why I haven't walked away from a man who is so attached that he monitors my car without me knowing fires through my phone blows up my phone if I'm 10 min later than what he thinks is a reasonable time for me to be home. We BOTH agreed to separate until I watched this video and thought maybe instead of me getting angry when he does these things I should consider that it's his anxiety. Which is odd he has anxiety since he's the one who stepped outside of our relationship. So before you make stupid comments like that think twice. Good day
I love how you described pride of heritage in beauty. It was very original.❤
Totally agree I work in this field but really was the first time I’ve ever heard of it in this way and it blew my MIND thank you for sharing
Life is too short to waste your time on others. Having confidence and loving yourself first, I find brings much more peace and happiness to me.
This video itself is healing enough but reading through the comments section is beyond words. I hope we all learn to value and love ourselves more and more as we go through our healing journey. We're off to a great start with this loving community!
I’m not even kidding ever since I subscribed to you my life has changed for the better. I have become more confident and comfortable in my body, I’ve become less stressed, and started my own RUclips channel (I GOT MY FIRST 500K VIEWS). I love and appreciate you!
My anxious attachment wound comes from my father who was absent also. I never felt worthy of his love and I cannot imagine to stop seeking his approval. It is such a deep wound.. However your videos give a lot of insights so thank you for sharing your wisdom with us ❤️
I had some family issues growing up but I have secure attachment style. I don’t think it’s all fault of the family, I think our way of dealing with things has its weight too in forming a personality with an attachment style
True
Just stop being promiscuous, and you will be fine.
😂”wild, random, strange people”that I don’t need to control or WANT to😂😂That really made me laugh❤
This channel is beautiful, and so are you!!!! So wise, so well-spoken. I love it🌻🌈🌞
I laugh too bc this is a problem of mine im always trying to figure out why randon Ppl dont like me and convince them tô like me and i Just realize How stupid It is lol
love video, just cant believe my wife left me after 18 years, she just left me. she doesnt even want to talk to me anymore. Ive tried everything possible to get her back, but nothing seems to work and I cant stop thinking about her Im frustrated I dont see my life with anyone else. Ive done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I cant I dont know why I'm saying this here, I really miss her and just cant stop thinking about her
A spiritual adviser, that sounds interesting. What did you do? How can I get in contact with him.?
Thank you so much! I just searched his name, and I found him, the reviews look amazing, and I m feeling hopeful now. I really believe I can get him back. I'm so happy to have found this.
I’ve read a lot of books, but women’s magic truths on borlest is on another level. It doesn’t just talk about vague concepts-it reveals secret techniques that can actually help you attract almost anything you want in life. This isn’t some watered-down law of attraction; it’s the real deal. You won’t believe what you’re missing out on until you read it.
bot.
Thank you
Enough with this stupid spam! Borlest my ass
@@SoberStateofMind😂😂😂😂😂
Scam
I have to watch this over and over again until it gets to my head. Thank you, Marga! ❤
I just wanted to say I used the “id like to go to lunch with you” instead of why don’t you ever ask me to lunch and it went so well! Thank you for whatt you do just know you’re helping people! I was so scared of confrontation and of being told no or left and it’s not that deep. Thanks again
One the best self esteem videos I have ever watched! Better than any Ted Talk. You're the best friend I think many of us would like to have. You are magnificent! And I had this video suggested to me at the EXACT point I needed it!
Wow, thank you!
Exactly!
I love what you said about our features..how dare we think of ourselves as less than when our ancestors toiled and put so much into their lineage carrying on to let another person derail those efforts..
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Yes he is dr.porass.
Can dr.porass send to me in UK?
Absolutely, his offerings extend to global delivery, prioritizing complete confidentiality for individuals valuing their privacy.
When I get to the bottom, I lose my will to do anything. Just listening to this video gave me some positive energy I really need today. I've made some really heartfelt commitments to others. But was clearly informed over years that I wasn't wanted, I was worthless. I'm still trying to overcome childhood scripts that told me no I couldn't, shouldn't, and would never have a role I wanted in my birth family and as true to script, I created the same preachments. Sometimes I'm really hurting, but I too remember my ice age ancestors, my snow ancestors, my immigrant ancestors, my ancestors who built this country with their own grit. I'm worth it. When I feel rejected, I feel hurt. I cuddle up, get some decent sleep and as my grandmother used to tell me during her survival stories, "we" (i) got up, and went to work to beat the band." Getting busy doing my own work helps me in my own survival efforts. Thank you Margarita!!
00:20 Let go of the love of the person that hurt you
02:00 You will try to win the love of the person who didn't see you
04:58 It's not your job to guide them into the right direction
I don't want to be loved for my performance
If im this or that enough, you then will see me
13:25 The faster they leave, the better. Stop convincing them to stay
16:30 give them the freedom to act the way they are
People of your ancestry who thought they are beautiful and chose themselves over and over , lineage who survived didn't survive for you not think you are not beautiful. My ancestors survived snow, wildness, hunger, struggled for you to exist. carry it with pride" - so so beautiful ❤
"I'd rather see who someone really is than try to preempt their behavior." Brilliant 🔥
My father was never proud of me.. always critical. But at the same time he called me his little girl etc He then left when I was 12 and we didn’t have a relationship and he died in 2014 when I was pregnant with my son. I’m in a relationship with a man who even has the same name as my father, and treats me the exact same way. So over this hurt.. thank you for the advice.
Your videos have me in tears. Im sitting here really thinking about all the time ive wasted loving others and not loving myself. I just want to love myself. I didnt know that i have attachment issues. I worked on my first round of shadow work and about to start another. Because im tierd of convincing I'm worth it. Im ready to know im worth it weather they see it or not.
Thank you for this. ❤
Literally… one of the best videos composed of feminine sage advice I have ever seen, and at the most opportune time of my life. Taking accountability for my lack of power. This hit so hard, I needed to hear this. Thank you 🙏🏻
11:57 this is absolutely beautiful. I had never seen it that way, thank you wow. the whole video is amazing I’m so eager to learn/shift to a secure attachment style and your channel is helping me a lot.
In my past relationships, i had been this masculine energy. I liked to look strong and independent and i did the things that my x would actually his part.
In my current relationship now. I am in this feminine energy and it flows naturally. I accept it.
I'm in a long distance relationship with "Jake" and in recent years I have been attached. From stalking his social media, to checking why he isn't responding to my messages yet online and just overly feeling anxiously about getting cheated on. Thank you for your video! I want to implement and live a life for myself ❤
I am in the same exact situation.
I truly needed this video. I had anxious attachment issues with my ex, and it ruined our relationship. Of course, there were issues on both sides, but I take most of the blame. I'm hoping I can work on myself as a person, and to feel secure with myself, and to heal. That's my current goal right now, and these videos are a true godsend.
I wish you the best😢 i feel ya. I have lost my two best friends because of that . I send you much love, i believe in you
Did you guys ever get back together?
@@skyt8327 No! And it was for the BEST. I went through the steps of healing and it was what I needed to do.
@@Tonys.Food.Wars101 Thank you. Hoping for the best for you as well!
@@skyt8327 No we didn't! It was for the best. I worked on myself and that's what needed to happen in order for me to grow as a person :)
I am crying as I’m watching you talk. I can’t thank you enough for this. I’m still struggling to get over my ex man who loved me so amazingly and he was a wonderful man…. And we promised to be there for each other even after we broke up. I know my wounded child played up a little, but I didn’t deserve to be treated the way he did, which was poorly and on repeat. He knew how hard my childhood and life was with my mother and all the trauma that I was working on and he abandoned me, just the way she did… I know I’m responsible for my life, but I felt so secure with him and our relationship and my life independently too… I know I deserve so much more. It’s not him that I can’t get over now, it’s why this happened to me and how the man who loved me so much was able to do this to me.. I “performed” for him after the breakup and I stopped doing that. I deserve to be treated with so much love and respect. I am going to build myself up, though it’s so hard at times… but I will.
I hope you feel better... your comment brought tears into my eyes
@@LiaHartmanHey Lia, so sweet of you to drop a note. Well, sometimes I’m a badass and sometimes I’m a wreck. I’ve understood that I need to work on some unresolved childhood trauma and work on myself a little. And no matter how hard it is to accept, if he loved and valued me, he would still be here. So, I’ll be ok, because I don’t want to force anyone and want someone who wants to spend his life with me. Wishing you every happiness Lia…
@@butterflygoddess2436
"I don't want to have the job of controlling wild, random, strange people who are in my life in order for them not to hurt me."
This. This was it for me.
I rarely ever comment on vids, but I had to. Thank you, seriously.
It is so comforting to know that I can look at myself in the mirror and celebrate 'heritage' instead of 'current beauty standard'. It is in fact so very right of you to say that and I'm very thankful for you.
Comments on other bits:
"Why don't you celebrate the fact that they don't want you and let them go?" Will always ring in my mind. The faster someone leaves, the faster someone new will come in and replace them. I am hoping for someone who respects my needs and desires and gives me them.
I love how she said your facial features are more about pride for your heritage ❤ that was really beautiful and I certainly have an appreciation for myself today!!!! What a great outlook!
You just articulate this subject so well. For years I had these issues with everyone in my life and I’ve done a total 360. About 80% of my relationships have dissolved.
Yes, we all want our parents to 'recognise' us. We feel that we have been 'abandoned'. We need to 'recognise' that we are 'sufficient' and 'good enough' and are the person we were supposed to be. You are your 'own' person and we must be 'accepted for who we are. We are not a 'performing parrot' to be 'used' by everyone else. You love people unconditionally you accept everyone's unique personality. If people don't respect you, you need to remove them from your life. Respect yourself for who you are. It's your duty to use your talents to help both yourself and those around you. Everyone has a unique 'story' and only you can tell this story. Beauty comes from within. Elegance is what a lot ladies do not have. Thank you for your inner beauty. Know your true value worth and never 'sell yourself short'. All good things come to those who wait. Be patient and in due course things will work out fine. If we make mistakes, then we learn from our mistakes and 'move on'. Don't let others 'download' their problems onto you. Its their problem, not your problem. Doors will open open for you. If one door closes, another one will open. Take your time and life will 'open up for you. Is there a similar 'strategy' for unlocking male potential. Thank you again for this video and all the good 'content' that you 'record' to help others 'keep moving forward'.
7:31 wow you ate me up on that. I love this video & I really needed it
Thank you for this. I'm going through a break-up at the moment, everything seems to be so miserable and hopeless. You video had a therapeutical effect on me and made me feel a bit better. Sending you lots of love!
I keep finding myself on your videos and respect your logic. You said “nobility” in this one and it coined the attribute of what i have been missing in every man i meet. It baffles me that the men i have been meeting pride themselves for being “12 year olds”.
Thank you for articulating so well such meaningful topics. 🌹
Ruby
Thank you so much for watching and supporting ❤
girl your insights are on fire! i feel like you discovered a new area to feel gratitude and awe... the fact that our physique and appearance is the result of eons of people choosing each other
I know right!! That was mind blowing ❤
🤷🏼♀️🙋🏼♂️
What you said about our ancestors in our facial features, I really resonated with that. I used to think I was not attractive or beautiful but you reminded me that my grandparents and their grandparents facial features and dna run through my blood! Thank you for the beautiful reminder how beautiful people are!
It’s crazy how accurate it is. My parents also split and my father didn’t want any contact. Parents for sure can have a impact on your whole life
This is so raw, authentic, vulnerable, and giving. Thank you. What an honour it is to witness and receive. 🙏🏼❤️ I really connect to what you're explaining here about opting OUT of the position as the "metaphorical poop-scooper", opting OUT of the position of fixing and otherwise re-adjusting and controlling people. I truly connect to this because I literally had to redirect the course of my profession in order to remove myself from this position that people all over the world had put me into. It was expected of me as a public figure. I chose to reframe and redirect my course and the nature of my profession. I stopped being a counselor and instead just focused on living my life softly. Some of my friends question my success because of my choices but I know 100% that I made that choice because I did not want to be the people fixer forever. ❤ I felt as though I was feeding strangers chunks of myself! And for what? To superimpose myself as a thought leader? I had not become an author to place myself into that position.
This is a great video - thank you. The bit about "the faster they leave, the better" really hits me though, because my person relationship history is of having men who seem to adore me and like me and love me and want me, for a full year or two, during which I fall in love with them deeply, and commit to them and to the relationship; and then, slowly, they become distant, and treat me like they're bored and wanting someone better and sexier; they end up flirting with other women and / or cheating, or just being so flat and cold and unloving in how they treat me, that eventually, after trying to fix it for ages and ages, I finally have to end the relationship. By then, they have made me so miserable for so long, that I am really struggling to even function. So now I am afraid, not of someone leaving me, but of them staying, and slowly deteriorating in how they behave toward me and feel about me. I am afraid of the agony of that, and I don't know how to prevent this. I saw a psychologist and she said it sounded like I was choosing the wrong men, rather than doing anything wrong once I was in the relationship. I do think I've chosen poorly, perhaps felt very strong feelings for men BECAUSE they are so strongly attracted to me, rather than for who they actually are. That's a pattern I am working on changing. But if the relationship is not working well for a partner of mine, I would rather they realise they aren't happy, and either talk about it and try to fix it, or just leave me, than put me through this long and horrible cycle again, but men don't seem to do that. I don't understand why.
You always get it spot on for me. Sadly I have lived most of my life with anxious attachment, I never understood what it was until recently. I’m 56 and happily single, however I never say never. I recently did DNA ancestry test. It got me thinking and it was exactly the things you mentioned in this video that I thought. All this and self help as well as watching videos such as yours has healed me a lot. I know it’s late in life however I feel blessed to have been enlightened as I know that some never are.
Thank you again for a great video ❤
My goodness thank you so much for bringing clarity and awareness to negative patterns in my life. I’ve realized this all stems from childhood trauma. I need to focus on my healing and do what is best for me.
it's kinda crazy how nobody is talking about the book whispers of manifestation on borlest
Something I've noticed about helping others. Well, controlling others by trying to help them. Is that, we kind of have this feeling of superiority. Because we've figured out the problem that they're falling into. And, we get mad at them for refusing to step out of that trap when we show them the way out. But, sometimes, we ourselves weren't able to get out of that trapped like that. Like, sometimes we had to work through that problem ourselves. Then we turn around and get mad at other people now that we're not doing that anymore. But actually, maybe we had to work through the problem, and, now we're turning around and trying to help other people and we get mad because they refused to take that hand out of the problem.
I love how absolutely self aware and conscious you are. Thank you for sharing so much vulnerability, for touching on so many complex themes in such a philosophical way. Attachment is centered outwards, whereas peace is centered on the self. I couldn’t agree more. You are the true meaning of “beautiful from inside out”.
I love this. This goes deep and makes me wonder, whose love was I seeking for from my childhood? It all comes back to our past. Hence, once you learn to let go and embrace who you are and seek those who will value you for who you are and not for what you have, your life will never be the same. Powerful words 🥰
Probably mom. We don't just need food and shelter. We also learn by getting validation. I wonder just how many times an overall good mother can mess up and invalidate their child before symptoms arise in the child. And I wonder what severity of an occurrence of abandonment/invalidation can cause a child lasting hurt.
Such mysteries. 🤔
@@thunderpooch You're right. It has a lot to do with our moms, especially seeing our dads weren't there much. Actually, I find myself staying by my mom before I move on with my life again and now I understand why. It's my final test to see if I still seek her approval. Wow. But, my desire not to have it is making me seem like the black sheep in the family. Change does comes with fight but it reminds me that I am making the right decision
@@neilmorgan7051do you still feel this way?
@neilmorgan7051 me too. Me too. My mother is overly religious. So was my father, but not overbearing and he also died when I was 18. The fundamental, fervent Christianity warped my brain and wasted decades of my life. I spent years studying religion and ethics, etc etc. That sense of impending doom and having to get all the thoughts correct in my head because eternal consequences were at stake robbed me of a lot of joy and happiness. Oddly enough, I'm now an atheist, or perhaps an agnostic since none of us can really know about invisible undectable entities that refuse to reveal themselves in a controlled lab environment 🤪, and I'm trying to deal with the fact my youth is gone, there is no afterlife, and I have very little good in my life. There is some but it is so little and came much too late.
I needed more truth in my life, or at least the freedom and acceptance to explore how I wanted and needed to interpret the world.
More and more I think I really can't stand my mother. She never overcame her inability to have dignity in this life. She kept holding onto the belief that the world is evil, sexuality is evil, and eternal paradise awaits her if she just keeps believing she's worthless and deserving of hell but that Jesus thankfully swooped in to save her. 🙄🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
I'm to the point where i'm exhausted from: 1. Not having boundaries 2. Anxious attaching to my wife... however this detachment stuff looks like the key to peace😂. 10/10🔥
I can relate so much. Especially the part of embracing your background. I’m of African descent and grew up in northern Germany which is predominantly yt. I mostly struggled with feeling inferior and not attractive enough.
Especially my hair was an issue. I was in several „relationships“ with men who didn’t fully accept me/were from racist families/would have never married me.
Nowadays I’m grateful and proud of my heritage. I just started my journey to grow locs and feel so relived.
Interestingly, after I spent several years on my healing, I met someone who became a dear friend who loves the country of my dads heritage, even learned some of the language (that I don’t even speak), loves it when I make Ghanaian food and longs to travel to Ghana. This friendship Kinda reflects my inward journey. He himself is Russian and Icelandic and also wears his hair long, like a Viking. 😊
Some of us don’t have children. She said she healed after her child. I guess we can find other ways like that comment below that says to use self compliments (affirmations). Another thing I found useful was finding love for a project; it gives you confidence.
Margarita.....can't belive how accurate you are....literally blown away by your insight and sense of humour omg, so great...a lot of therapist should learn this skill.....huge hug from Hungary and thank you ❤
This was beautiful and brilliant, Margarita! (My ancestry is Nordic/Arctic too. 😀) At 68, I am feeling a resurgence of my innate feminine energy, so it's never too late! 😘
I can't explain, how much I needed to hear this! Not as in like a "validation" kinda thing but more like, everything that I've been feeling and thinking in the past 3 years and I didn't want to accept, finally somebody just told me "Yeah you know you can't MAKE somebody love you or like you, no matter how much you try or what ever you do" which is something I was too stubborn to realize, I guess I just didn't want to accept the truth but you explained this in such a perfect way, that I can feel that I'm going to be okay with letting go of this one specific person, because it's a one sided connection. I love your videos btw ❤
‘ 7:49 The key is not control, its connection’ such an ordinary statement, but so so important when you realise that what we are doing in relationships mostly, is trying to change the person we love, almost always ahhhh
I could watch this twice. One with sound on, one with sound off. You have an amazing way of calmly expressing your points.
Hi Margarita, as someone navigating her early 20s your videos have brought me so much clarity and hope that things get better. Can you please make a video about fearful avoid ants - it’s such a complicated attachment that as a FA myself leaning towards anxious attachment, I think you would have a valuable take on the topic. Thank you for what you do, i appreciate your work tons
I, too, am fearfully avoiding ants. They can be a terrible pest, when taking residence in one's house.
@@silverplug shutuppp hahaha 😭🤚🏼
@@silverplug😂
@@silverplug🤣🤣🤣🤣
My God; Thank you, I thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart for sharing your deep insights and profound wisdom with us. I am so deeply moved by this entire video. It has brought me to tears repeatedly. Thank you again and God bless you on your journey
I just found you on RUclips by accident. You’re amazing with incredible insight and awareness. I’m so grateful for you sharing and teaching us. I’m learning and you are confirming. If anyone hasn’t told you yet today, you are a beautiful soul. And learning isn’t easy. So rock on sister!❤
This video has saved my life,before started watching this i was thinking to impress or chasing people that aren't the real one , thanks ❤
ok but can we talk about the language Margarita is using in her video? absolutely stunning, learning english with her videos and proud of it
I cannot express enough in words how much I needed this video and how much I appreciate you sharing your experiences with us all. Thank you!!!
I just realised that my wanting for people to like me back Maybe comes from my father.... never showing interests in what i was into as a child and young adults. Also from constant bullying from primary school and highshool. I feel sick. I feel like i wasted soooo many years as i am in my forties. Time for healing and time to start living life ....
We're never too old to change our ways.
Hi Margarita, fellow European Slav here. I'd like to express how much I appreciate your videos and podcast. You're not the only relationship coach/guide/wisdom sharer online whose content I listen to and whose advice I try to take, but you're by far the most authentic, realistic, down-to-earth and matter-of-fact one I know. It's clear you give advice from your own experience and not from what you've read in a book or heard from another coach. You say it like it is and you give dead-on accurate examples. Thank you so much for that.
As for future content, I'd be interested to hear your take on breakups - dealing with one in a healthy way, winning/taking an ex back etc. (From what I know about your opinions I dare guess you're not much of a fan of getting back together, but still...).
Looking forward to my next Tuesday morning bus ride to work where I get to listen to a new episode of Being Her
its weird to hear shes eastern european because she sounds straight up white english south african to me
I think because it's the fusion of accents because she said she grew up in England and has lived in Australia for a decade or so? But russian is her mother's tongue. I can totally relate because I grew up in Australia but moved to the UK and I am eastern European with a russian speaking mother... everyone tells me I sound south African all the time too lol..I think when something doesn't sound totally Australian but also not totally British then people assume it's South African because thats definitely a mash up of the two accents 😂
@@elina3713 I actually am South African and she sounds 100% like a south african who immigrated to an anglo country like myself. She also uses common phrases and lingo thats commonly used in SA too, so that didnt help. I never heard of the east euro and aussie/uk mix resulting in an SA accent before. She had me fooled, crazy lol
@@MCE851 that’s such a compliment it’s my fav accent so maybe I emulate it. Xx
Yeah I get this a lot! I actually only learnt English at 8-9 years old. Xx
Goodness , number 8 spoke to me in so many ways .. a day ago a guy I have been dating for 4 months decided to dump me because he said im “too emotional” when i was worrying about not being there for him during his move to a new apartment . I was completely devastated cos I didn’t even get to see the apartment yet we had been talking & excited about him moving since the begging of the relationship .. i tried to beg and please with him but he said he is done since it’s not the first time im showing him my emotional side … thank you for the reinforcement that i don’t need his lame self actually . 🙏🏽
15:23 the reason why your video is so comprehensive is because you use examples of your own life ! Thank you 💕
Thank you for sharing this.
My journey was a bit different and involved forgiving my mum for the abuse, learning how to love myself, and finding peace. I have done self parenting, and finally became content, proud and masculine. God bless you
Loved this a lot and as I'm healing from control issues, I really relate with all that you've said. In my case, I thought I could just up and move over from a guy but this heart still has residual feelings. So instead of preempting any actions or having delusions or putting on a performance, I'm just going to be real and sit back and let him behave as he wants to. He also deserves the freedom to decide if I'm someone he can work together with rather than me lying to him about acting or being in a certain way. This is quite a new experience for me when it comes to getting to know someone that I'm romantically interested in and it was initially scary, because my controlling issues just came out, but your videos really helps to ground me so I can learn this lesson as calmly as possible. It's really not easy at all, but I'm so thankful I came across your videos just before I turn 30 next year, so I'll be able to attract better relationships and opportunities to my life ❤
If you haven't heard today...
You are so very loved
and you are so very worthy
of love.
The hardest part
is learning to love yourself
and to know: it's not all your fault,
and to see: that you're beautiful;
wonderfully perfectly
brilliantly created.
You're stronger than most;
a true leader/warrior in the making.
Keep going
and keep thanking.
Remember Jesus was an outcast
and he suffered more
than any human being
could ever endure...
And the most important message here is to forgive them
and to forgive yourself
and to love all.
Keep walking in truth.
One of the great poems of the Zen tradition
ends with this description of the awakened state:
“To be without suffering over imperfection(s).”
AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER:
I am one with the Divine.
I experience, peace, BLISS, love, and joy:
CONSTANTLY AND CONSISTENTLY.
I experience everything as grace AND AS LOVE.
I am at peace. I honor the Divine within me.
thank you for this
This video is so inspiring! The journey of self-love and standing up for yourself is truly transformative thank you for sharing this reminder we all need! ❤
So I’ve spent my morning watching this video and all I can say is thank you. I feel so much lighter after a heavy morning.
1:16 ❤2:00 ❤ EVERY single word of this video is pure gold. Since I discovered your videos a few weeks ago, you've helped me see things differently, but THIS VIDEO, this right here... opened up something in me and I felt the last chip of anxious attatchment in my soul fall away. Thank you so much for the work you do. 😢 I'm a basket of happy tears right now because I finally get it. You've opened my eyes THANK YOU. I intend on listening to this Every morning❤❤❤❤
Woe
@@mikepiccolo32woe?
“People survived in the snow to create me…”🤣🤣 Love this♥️
If you need to be someone else in order to be loved, you will forever be wearing a surface level anxious mask in relationships.
You deserve deep, unconditional love and other things that you may not have received as a child. You are worthy just for being.
You cannot receive the safety/ validation/ security / love you seek in others until you give it to yourself first. The irony is our subcobscious will seek partners who you think will provide this but will inevitably prove this true as a pattern until you do the inner work and healing and then you will also attract healthier people. Reflection of your own projection.
True love starts with you. And you worthy of the best love.
Sending so much love and light and a squeezer hug to your inner child reading this.♥️
This is beautifully said ❤
@@elina3713 thank you ♥️
😢 Yours words truly touched me. It really did...
I love how you can be direct without being hurtful and telling the truth while keeping the viewers feelings in mind. It’s like direct in a loving way🥰great video and message
This whole video was such a slap to the face but in the best way possible like a wake up call, it was gut wrenching knowing a lot of these thoughts/behaviors i actively exhibit n just made me realize a lot but I no longer want to identify w anxious attachment I want to heal n be secured n free
I struggled with this so much and trying to practice detachment always had this underlying thought that when I detach, they will come to me. And it doesn’t work. You just have to become so effing sick of being this way and focusing on other people. Mad. Exhausted. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t quite get it right yet.