Hey everyone hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 3 Steps to Heal Yourself after a Toxic Relationship Ends (Warning: Spots are limited) 🗒 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> www.healyourheart.school/webinar 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> www.healyourheart.school/guide 💕 Apply For Heal Your Heart School Here! www.healyourheart.school/call
external signs (what he does): 1. History of short term relationships 2. puts in only minimum effort 3. actions and words not aligned 4. defensiveness (protective of himself, doesnt take feedback well, always the victim, deflection of responsibility) 5. hot/cold behavior 6. not present (text, or physically always late or cancel, no respect of your time) 7. limited compassion 8. love feels conditional (doesnt love you just as you are) 9. controlling behavior (big red flag! coercive controlling behaviors same as conditional love, everything has to happen his way) 10. numbing behaviors (hours of doing same thing, addiction) 11. lack of true intimacy (superficial affection, not consistent, haven't get to know you deeply) 12. fear of commitment internal signs (within us): 1. you feel alone with him (cannot reach other sides of him) 2. you feel unclear about things (depends on how you aplease him) 3. you cant be yourself (not accepting who you are) 4. you avoid conflict (even healthily discuss, he cant handle it or deflect onto you)
I don’t think short term relationships is a deal breaker sometimes people after a year realise it’s not a good dynamic. However listening to how he speaks about an ex or if he explains what he did that needs improvement
What a relief! The person I am currently grieving and working to heal from scores a perfect 12, while I scored a perfect (frightening) three. I had absolutely no idea I was in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person, or for that matter what that would look/feel like because it never occurred to me to consider and examine my needs or feelings. I just knew that something was deeply wrong and no matter how hard I tried, things just never got off the ground. I felt constantly "less than" and as time went on my values, boundaries, and self-worth disintegrated. When I tried to have any kind of normal conversation about what we were, I got shut down first with circular language, and then with outright defensiveness as if somehow there was something critically wrong with me because I was being too needy and/or controlling. Eventually, I just snapped and walked out (while we were away on what was supposed to be a romantic getaway - that I was paying for!!). Since then I have been working hard to figure out what happened and why I was having such a hard time recovering from this relationship. Seeing this video (and watching several others over the past few days) has given me instant relief, perspective, and most importantly - answers! Having started this journey now, I have every intention of following it to the place where I am whole, alone or in a relationship. Just whole and happy in my own skin. I recognize that my childhood and the shocking abandonment I lived with played a massive role in the relationships I have put up with most of my life. All of them are different - but all of them have threads of similarity. This most recent (emotionally unavailable) relationship came after being single (alone and contented) for 5 years. I thought I was "healed" from the trauma of the relationship before that which was abusive, controlling, and definitely an emotional desert. In retrospect, I was nowhere near healed. I had just spent 5 years living around the abandonment wound at my core that was almost instantly triggered the moment I let down my guard and let someone in. Clearly, I have work to do - but thank you so much for these answers and for helping me to get started on what I believe will (finally!) be a journey into myself.
This video is so spot on. It tells everything my ex was. The whole experience in the relationship with him was soul destroying and the scar he left me lingers long even after the breakup. I find it ludicrous that he should keep preaching stoicism and upholding virtues as his suggestion for living principles to his youtube audience when in real life he is so cold-blooded and lacks empathy. I wonder whether practicing Stocism contributes to his emotional unavailibility?
I know people in long-term that are emotionally unavailable.And as soon as those ended they jump right back in to something else they just could not be alone
Very, very helpful! Of the 16 signs, we have about 14 of them, 11 for him, 3 for me. Thanks for this, incredibly clear and concise. Especially feeling alone when I’m with him, and him running hot/cold/hot/cold.
Yes, the controlling behavior. My daughter has met one of these. Sports guy. His sport (hockey), his availability, he's got the rink girls he can talk to anytime of day. I finally said, listen there's aValentine's Skate coming up. He'll either ask you or not. If he doesn't move on. He's just wanting attention from everyone. But, your older, you're not high school anymore (even though she looks younger). The guy has to claim you. Make it known to everyone he likes you. This let's all be friends in high school thing has gotta go. He didn't ask her...no excuses. No matter how friendly he seems. Move on. He's actually holding her back from meeting someone at school/college.
I love the perspective of looking at signs WITHIN us, the internal signs you mentioned. The tendency is to just look at the other person to identify emotional unavailability, but checking on your counterpart internal feelings is a great way to validate those signs in the other. Great content!
With hindsight, I had all of these things happen to me in my last relationship. When the avoidant in him withdrew and discarded me, I was glad I stood up for my myself and walked away because I could see now how this was chipping away at my self-esteem. Thanks for the video :)
Sign 1 is not always there. I was with emotionally unavailable person for 11 years. And mostly I was the one to keep the relationship going with my hopes for better future, etc. So his next girlfriend might think that he's ok because of long-term relationship in the past. No.
Wow❤ The list feels comprehensive and its accuacy is a meaningful tool of self discovey and antennae-building. That we have a subconscious blueprint ourselves that has led like to draw like (even if oppositely alike) is the key - it seems - to growth.
OMG I wished I knew this last year. Especially with the drama part. Yes, I am pretty dramatic, but this guy would literally joke about me being a drama queen just for having normal fecking emotions . . I new I needed to fecking run. .
On the first list, he exhibits everything but 1 (to my knowledge he is not a “relationship” jumper) and 9 (he does not control my person but always has to decide what we do when we go anywhere). So…10 out of 12. I even tried being friends and he can’t do that, either. And actually has no friends! I think lack of friendships is a sign, too. On the second list, everything but 3 (I am myself and I can’t fake that). I’m taking a break until I feel healthy enough to call a healthy person into my life.
Another outstanding video. Your channel is becoming a fast favorite. I've always heard that DA/emotionally unavailable men often have histories of short term relationships but no one ever specified the length, so I assumed these relationships were less than a year. When you said 2 to 3 years, that blew my mind but it makes a lot of sense with the emotionally unavailable guys I know. I did have a question: why are emotionally unavailable guys controlling? I noticed this with a previous guy and I couldn't figure it out. What's the connection? Thanks so much for your amazing videos!
The 2-3 year timeframe is actually me speaking from *my* experience as an emotionally unavailable woman for over a decade. And now I see that clear as day in others! Controlling behaviour is a response to their own inner insecurity - they lack their own secure sense of self and core, so in that insecurity try to control others around them to "feel safe". For example, the last emotionally unavailable man I connected with had an absent father, and a raging father wound as a result, and needed to feel like he was a leader/in control/in charge around me, to the degree where he'd point out little quirks like me helping him find something as "controlling". BIG sign of attachment wounding, emotional unavailability, and a good sign to walk away. Make sense?
@@LoveByDesign Yes, absolutely that makes sense. I hadn't connected it before (controlling behavior and emotional unavailability), but when you said that in the video - and reading your explanation now - it makes a ton of sense. Every EU person I know except one is controlling. It's super unattractive! It sounds like the last EU guy you were involved with was projecting his own controlling impulse onto you. After having my heart broken by an EU guy, I am making sure to do the healing work so that I can detect it right away and WALK AWAY. I hope you don't mind if I ask one more question. You said the 2-3 years came from your own experience. Did you start feeling trapped, or did the novelty wear off, or what was it that happened at the 2/3 year mark that caused you to leave, if you don't mind sharing? Thanks for your channel - I love it!
I think it takes at least 2 years yo know someone and see patterns of behaviour. My own experience was 2 years with an EU man whom I really loved until I couldn't stand it anymore...for my own health
I'd love your take on how this should be approached when your partner had been diagnosed with BPD. Still Trauma, very similar to why you describe as simply emotionally unavailable but a mental illness.
I was fine until he invited me out. I was enjoying life, about to be sociable with van life. Not looking for anyone. He sucked me into the soft life as his live in girlfriend. 2 months in, too many questions, nothing good enough.. Enough was enough when he restricted access to my safe place, my van. He threatened that if I spent another night in my van after his behaviour really hurt me, he would want the keys back immediately. We spoke, said I need time out, he threatened to throw my things into the street if I did. (two incidences of coercive control in one night) He would tear me down emotionally, never say thankyou or sorry unless I was upset. build me back up, Then deflect and say this all is a headache for him.. I asked if he had any remorse for his coercive behaviour... he deflected again. As I picked up the last of my things, he said his emotions ran deep, he's an introvert.. B.S. I am an introvert.. Too little, too late. his behaviour is dangerous. I am safe. This is WHY i have a 40k loan on this van.. to stay safe..
I went back for another 2 rounds. He said to his counsellor he didnt see it going anywhere, disrespected me right in front of her. I left again and came back. Last time involved me running around for him and his mates becsuse of a fire and I had the van. Not a problem. We spent a few days in motel. He made me feel like a burden for food becuase he got paid and I didnt. I did what I could to get his attention and affection, the night before this begging was great. (Kinda felt like he just had to get it out of his system.) when we got back I left something out coz I was busy going for a physically demanding job to support us. I was still dazed but trying to hold it together, it was a tough week. He was angry I used the wrong knife and called me lazy for leaving the toaster out. I wanted him to apologize, but he said, he doesnt want me to get upset so he will just say "sorry"..(I wanted validation that he understood every thing I did) He took himself out to a show and ignored me after spending that day in bed. (Showed enough energy toward me that day to call me lazy). I packed up my things that night. It is a hard life living in the van. This was almost 2 weeks ago. I caught myself thinking about it, feeling my feelings..I am glad that you made me relive that by messaging me. (I remember him telling me that he threatened to throw my things out coz "I was tired, I shouldnt be on the road".. Ok, then why did the Ahole leave that night he didnt say sorry? The less emotional/emotionally confused younger me wouldve stayed.
Oh man, im so sorry for being this way, I just lost last hope for relationship with girlfriend which I was exactly this for. I am soooo sad about it, I would do anything for her, if I could have really deep connection with her, it would be more than any money of the World for me. I NEED TO FIX THIS NOW!!!
Shit, like 50% of this is me. This really sucks because I'm actually dating a guy who seems so in touch with his feelings and emotions. I feel like he's gonna watch this and dip out 😬
Its weird, he actually emotional unavailable but he put effort to see me. He is not defensive, he just came out from long toxic relationship. He want to get know me. Actually we had deep conversations. His words aligned with his actions. This is makes me confused 😢
1. Got angry when i told him i keep my ringer on silent. "you never respond to me within an hour after i text you." Not true at all. 2. Almost all of his conversations were of controversial issues where he'd make outrageous claims and told me that he didnt care for my questioning him, asking for clarification or offering different perspectives. 3. Made light of serious topics, i.e. making sexual jokes about my narcissistic mother. 4. Weaponized the abuse i suffered from my mother as a comeback after I told him i didnt appreciate the sexual jokes about her. 5. Kept texting me unrelated pics when I was talking to him over the phone. He woukd get upset if I didnt acknowledge said pics and compliment him. 6. "Im not changing for anybody," when I told him I didnt like somethijg he did. 7. I told him I was trying to get back with a former employer who was going to give me way more money than I was making. He responded, "Oh so that means you're going to be doing less work. Ya know? Like those CEOs who make all the money and do no work. 8. Never acknowledged any of my accomplishments but I was expected to dole out compliments when he sent me pics of his making dinner. He never complimented anything about me tho. 9. Talked about exes a lot. 10. He turned up the music when I was talking because he said the convo was getting tense and he wanted to lighten it up. 11. "Im surprised you had a great relationship with your dad. Ive never met a girl who did." 12. "I don't need nothing from nobody." 13. "Youre not the only girl in town with a mouth." Meaning...he could get oral s x from other women if he wanted. 14. He kept bringing up the fact I didnt kiss him. "No woman has EVER hidden their lips from me." Lol 15. I messed my leg up in the gym and he never asked how I was doing or that he hoped I would get better. 16. He was a man of low intelligence who relied only on what was in front of him to make often asinine claims. 17. I honestly dont know how he managed to get married and have a 5-year relationship with another woman. The guy is a total nutnik. 18. "Im the easiest person to talk to." "I've never cheated or hit a woman." 😬 Luckily, I only went on two dates with this guy and never put out or kissed him. It was one date too many. Fuuuuuu
17 months in.First Year was more emotional now I feel confused.Even in his texts he's less romantic.feels offhand I feel ill.i need to talk to him but it's so difficult,feels like I'm being difficult when I'm not
Yes he was married twice but the second marriage was longer but he are she cheated now he is working a lot now I can't see him ass often he is a social media Facebook man all so is draining
According to this list, every singe person in the world is emotionally unavailable!!! This makes no sense!!! I guess the best thing to do is just trust your gut and intuition! If you clicked on this video, theres probably something wrong!
Really? Every single person in the world is emotionally unavailable? Wow I can’t believe you’ve met every single person in the world 🙈 btw - I can confirm I’ve met many lovely people who are emotionally available ☺️
You seem unaware that these signs in him, many of them, could be because YOU are emotionally unavailable. Or do we just assume that women are never emotionally damaged?
I point that out at the end of the video. This channel is for women who struggle themselves with emotionally unavailable, so to answer your last question, no.
This is a video about men being emotionally unavailable. If you want to watch a video on women being emotionally unavailable, go look for those videos.
Hey everyone hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 3 Steps to Heal Yourself after a Toxic Relationship Ends (Warning: Spots are limited)
🗒 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> www.healyourheart.school/webinar
🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> www.healyourheart.school/guide
💕 Apply For Heal Your Heart School Here! www.healyourheart.school/call
external signs (what he does):
1. History of short term relationships
2. puts in only minimum effort
3. actions and words not aligned
4. defensiveness (protective of himself, doesnt take feedback well, always the victim, deflection of responsibility)
5. hot/cold behavior
6. not present (text, or physically always late or cancel, no respect of your time)
7. limited compassion
8. love feels conditional (doesnt love you just as you are)
9. controlling behavior (big red flag! coercive controlling behaviors same as conditional love, everything has to happen his way)
10. numbing behaviors (hours of doing same thing, addiction)
11. lack of true intimacy (superficial affection, not consistent, haven't get to know you deeply)
12. fear of commitment
internal signs (within us):
1. you feel alone with him (cannot reach other sides of him)
2. you feel unclear about things (depends on how you aplease him)
3. you cant be yourself (not accepting who you are)
4. you avoid conflict (even healthily discuss, he cant handle it or deflect onto you)
Spot on
Thank you!
I don’t think short term relationships is a deal breaker sometimes people after a year realise it’s not a good dynamic. However listening to how he speaks about an ex or if he explains what he did that needs improvement
What a relief! The person I am currently grieving and working to heal from scores a perfect 12, while I scored a perfect (frightening) three. I had absolutely no idea I was in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person, or for that matter what that would look/feel like because it never occurred to me to consider and examine my needs or feelings. I just knew that something was deeply wrong and no matter how hard I tried, things just never got off the ground. I felt constantly "less than" and as time went on my values, boundaries, and self-worth disintegrated. When I tried to have any kind of normal conversation about what we were, I got shut down first with circular language, and then with outright defensiveness as if somehow there was something critically wrong with me because I was being too needy and/or controlling. Eventually, I just snapped and walked out (while we were away on what was supposed to be a romantic getaway - that I was paying for!!). Since then I have been working hard to figure out what happened and why I was having such a hard time recovering from this relationship. Seeing this video (and watching several others over the past few days) has given me instant relief, perspective, and most importantly - answers! Having started this journey now, I have every intention of following it to the place where I am whole, alone or in a relationship. Just whole and happy in my own skin. I recognize that my childhood and the shocking abandonment I lived with played a massive role in the relationships I have put up with most of my life. All of them are different - but all of them have threads of similarity. This most recent (emotionally unavailable) relationship came after being single (alone and contented) for 5 years. I thought I was "healed" from the trauma of the relationship before that which was abusive, controlling, and definitely an emotional desert. In retrospect, I was nowhere near healed. I had just spent 5 years living around the abandonment wound at my core that was almost instantly triggered the moment I let down my guard and let someone in. Clearly, I have work to do - but thank you so much for these answers and for helping me to get started on what I believe will (finally!) be a journey into myself.
Have you watched my webinar? I go into this in a lot more detail: www.healyourheart.school/webinar
This video is so spot on. It tells everything my ex was. The whole experience in the relationship with him was soul destroying and the scar he left me lingers long even after the breakup. I find it ludicrous that he should keep preaching stoicism and upholding virtues as his suggestion for living principles to his youtube audience when in real life he is so cold-blooded and lacks empathy. I wonder whether practicing Stocism contributes to his emotional unavailibility?
I’m sorry to hear you went through this 😌 I haven’t looked into the links between stoicism and emotional unavailable yet.
You have described him to a T. Every single bulletpoint. Thank you so much for all this information!!
You are so welcome! ❤️
I know people in long-term that are emotionally unavailable.And as soon as those ended they jump right back in to something else they just could not be alone
Yes I’ve seen that happen many times too. Some people prefer to do relationships that way 🤷♀️
Very, very helpful! Of the 16 signs, we have about 14 of them, 11 for him, 3 for me. Thanks for this, incredibly clear and concise. Especially feeling alone when I’m with him, and him running hot/cold/hot/cold.
I'm so glad this was helpful ❤️ how do you think you'll move forward?
This lady is fabulous 😍
Thank you ❤️
Impeccable
Yes, the controlling behavior. My daughter has met one of these. Sports guy. His sport (hockey), his availability, he's got the rink girls he can talk to anytime of day. I finally said, listen there's aValentine's Skate coming up. He'll either ask you or not. If he doesn't move on. He's just wanting attention from everyone. But, your older, you're not high school anymore (even though she looks younger). The guy has to claim you. Make it known to everyone he likes you. This let's all be friends in high school thing has gotta go. He didn't ask her...no excuses. No matter how friendly he seems. Move on. He's actually holding her back from meeting someone at school/college.
I’m sorry to hear you’re daughter is experiencing someone with controlling behaviour ❤️
We need to make “logically unavailable” a thing
I love the perspective of looking at signs WITHIN us, the internal signs you mentioned. The tendency is to just look at the other person to identify emotional unavailability, but checking on your counterpart internal feelings is a great way to validate those signs in the other. Great content!
Thank you so much!
I seem to be in a pattern of relationships with emotionally unavailable men and its freaking me out
Have you watched my webinar? I go into more detail about it www.healyourheart.school/webinar
With hindsight, I had all of these things happen to me in my last relationship. When the avoidant in him withdrew and discarded me, I was glad I stood up for my myself and walked away because I could see now how this was chipping away at my self-esteem. Thanks for the video :)
I don't know you but I'm so proud of you :) :)
Sign 1 is not always there. I was with emotionally unavailable person for 11 years. And mostly I was the one to keep the relationship going with my hopes for better future, etc. So his next girlfriend might think that he's ok because of long-term relationship in the past. No.
That’s true, it can take time to really see that they are emotionally unavailable.
Yeah mine had a 10 yr marriage. I’ve no idea how. I wonder if she had more trauma than me
Thank you. Thank you. I tried so hard for so long. But after 13 years I finally walked away. It still hurts, but was soo necessary
It will be so worth it for you in the long term 🙏
Thank you for making this freely available. It is very valuable content.
You are so welcome 🙏
Wow❤
The list feels comprehensive and its accuacy is a meaningful tool of self discovey and antennae-building. That we have a subconscious blueprint ourselves that has led like to draw like (even if oppositely alike) is the key - it seems - to growth.
Aha! I knew i was onto something when these things happened!
I don't go near or start relationships anymore as I no longer have the patience for it ,been that way since 2016..happier for it too 😊
I hope that works for you 🙏
Brilliant and impressive. I love your content!
Aww thank you!! 🥰
Impeccable
Wow! You just described him!!
OMG I wished I knew this last year. Especially with the drama part. Yes, I am pretty dramatic, but this guy would literally joke about me being a drama queen just for having normal fecking emotions . . I new I needed to fecking run. .
I’m sorry to hear you went through this 💔
On the first list, he exhibits everything but 1 (to my knowledge he is not a “relationship” jumper) and 9 (he does not control my person but always has to decide what we do when we go anywhere). So…10 out of 12. I even tried being friends and he can’t do that, either. And actually has no friends! I think lack of friendships is a sign, too. On the second list, everything but 3 (I am myself and I can’t fake that). I’m taking a break until I feel healthy enough to call a healthy person into my life.
Another outstanding video. Your channel is becoming a fast favorite. I've always heard that DA/emotionally unavailable men often have histories of short term relationships but no one ever specified the length, so I assumed these relationships were less than a year. When you said 2 to 3 years, that blew my mind but it makes a lot of sense with the emotionally unavailable guys I know. I did have a question: why are emotionally unavailable guys controlling? I noticed this with a previous guy and I couldn't figure it out. What's the connection?
Thanks so much for your amazing videos!
The 2-3 year timeframe is actually me speaking from *my* experience as an emotionally unavailable woman for over a decade. And now I see that clear as day in others! Controlling behaviour is a response to their own inner insecurity - they lack their own secure sense of self and core, so in that insecurity try to control others around them to "feel safe". For example, the last emotionally unavailable man I connected with had an absent father, and a raging father wound as a result, and needed to feel like he was a leader/in control/in charge around me, to the degree where he'd point out little quirks like me helping him find something as "controlling". BIG sign of attachment wounding, emotional unavailability, and a good sign to walk away. Make sense?
@@LoveByDesign Yes, absolutely that makes sense. I hadn't connected it before (controlling behavior and emotional unavailability), but when you said that in the video - and reading your explanation now - it makes a ton of sense. Every EU person I know except one is controlling. It's super unattractive! It sounds like the last EU guy you were involved with was projecting his own controlling impulse onto you. After having my heart broken by an EU guy, I am making sure to do the healing work so that I can detect it right away and WALK AWAY.
I hope you don't mind if I ask one more question. You said the 2-3 years came from your own experience. Did you start feeling trapped, or did the novelty wear off, or what was it that happened at the 2/3 year mark that caused you to leave, if you don't mind sharing?
Thanks for your channel - I love it!
Yes mine was 2 years never again
I think it takes at least 2 years yo know someone and see patterns of behaviour. My own experience was 2 years with an EU man whom I really loved until I couldn't stand it anymore...for my own health
I'd love your take on how this should be approached when your partner had been diagnosed with BPD. Still Trauma, very similar to why you describe as simply emotionally unavailable but a mental illness.
I have no direct experience with BPD. But I would imagine it has the same effect - hindering the creation of healthy, deep intimacy.
I need someone like you to talk to. Definitely
I was fine until he invited me out. I was enjoying life, about to be sociable with van life. Not looking for anyone. He sucked me into the soft life as his live in girlfriend. 2 months in, too many questions, nothing good enough.. Enough was enough when he restricted access to my safe place, my van. He threatened that if I spent another night in my van after his behaviour really hurt me, he would want the keys back immediately. We spoke, said I need time out, he threatened to throw my things into the street if I did. (two incidences of coercive control in one night)
He would tear me down emotionally, never say thankyou or sorry unless I was upset. build me back up, Then deflect and say this all is a headache for him..
I asked if he had any remorse for his coercive behaviour... he deflected again.
As I picked up the last of my things, he said his emotions ran deep, he's an introvert.. B.S. I am an introvert.. Too little, too late. his behaviour is dangerous.
I am safe. This is WHY i have a 40k loan on this van.. to stay safe..
This person sounds very dangerous. Please stay safe 🙏
That guy was way more than emotionally unavailable, IMO. I’m glad you’re safe!
I went back for another 2 rounds. He said to his counsellor he didnt see it going anywhere, disrespected me right in front of her. I left again and came back.
Last time involved me running around for him and his mates becsuse of a fire and I had the van. Not a problem. We spent a few days in motel. He made me feel like a burden for food becuase he got paid and I didnt. I did what I could to get his attention and affection, the night before this begging was great. (Kinda felt like he just had to get it out of his system.)
when we got back I left something out coz I was busy going for a physically demanding job to support us. I was still dazed but trying to hold it together, it was a tough week. He was angry I used the wrong knife and called me lazy for leaving the toaster out. I wanted him to apologize, but he said, he doesnt want me to get upset so he will just say "sorry"..(I wanted validation that he understood every thing I did) He took himself out to a show and ignored me after spending that day in bed. (Showed enough energy toward me that day to call me lazy). I packed up my things that night.
It is a hard life living in the van. This was almost 2 weeks ago. I caught myself thinking about it, feeling my feelings..I am glad that you made me relive that by messaging me. (I remember him telling me that he threatened to throw my things out coz "I was tired, I shouldnt be on the road".. Ok, then why did the Ahole leave that night he didnt say sorry?
The less emotional/emotionally confused younger me wouldve stayed.
Thank you ! Very useful video
Wow, spot on !!!
Thanks for all the information in this video. Very helpful in helping to understand people on how to navigate relationships.
I'm so glad it is helpful!
Great. Thank you.
Thank you ❤
❤️
Oh man, im so sorry for being this way, I just lost last hope for relationship with girlfriend which I was exactly this for. I am soooo sad about it, I would do anything for her, if I could have really deep connection with her, it would be more than any money of the World for me. I NEED TO FIX THIS NOW!!!
Can you reach out to me, I’m doing some research interviews with my male audience amy@thelovebydesign.com 🙏
Please seek therapy. It can really help.
He didn’t care what I did. But yes controlled when we spoke. When we saw one another. Never could show up unannounced. Arms length. Shady.
Sorry to hear this happened to you ❤️
am I emotionally unavailable is the question one should ask.
Yes, it is :)
I am a woman who watched this to assess a man but I think I just learned I might be a bit emotionally unavailable myself lol
It's my hope that more women understand this! I can help, reach out if you like: www.healyourheart.school/call
I cannot blame the men I have dated ... I repeat pattens and I have some of these signs a well
Reach out if you want help to break your patterns ❤️
Shit, like 50% of this is me. This really sucks because I'm actually dating a guy who seems so in touch with his feelings and emotions. I feel like he's gonna watch this and dip out 😬
You can turn it around, how is it going?
Literally my ex to T.
Its weird, he actually emotional unavailable but he put effort to see me. He is not defensive, he just came out from long toxic relationship. He want to get know me. Actually we had deep conversations. His words aligned with his actions.
This is makes me confused 😢
Give it time, you will see if he is truly aligned within himself 🙏
All these signs the guy has I am talking too n I kinda feel depressed with him
Let him deal with his situation, it’s not your responsibility.
1. Got angry when i told him i keep my ringer on silent. "you never respond to me within an hour after i text you." Not true at all.
2. Almost all of his conversations were of controversial issues where he'd make outrageous claims and told me that he didnt care for my questioning him, asking for clarification or offering different perspectives.
3. Made light of serious topics, i.e. making sexual jokes about my narcissistic mother.
4. Weaponized the abuse i suffered from my mother as a comeback after I told him i didnt appreciate the sexual jokes about her.
5. Kept texting me unrelated pics when I was talking to him over the phone. He woukd get upset if I didnt acknowledge said pics and compliment him.
6. "Im not changing for anybody," when I told him I didnt like somethijg he did.
7. I told him I was trying to get back with a former employer who was going to give me way more money than I was making. He responded, "Oh so that means you're going to be doing less work. Ya know? Like those CEOs who make all the money and do no work.
8. Never acknowledged any of my accomplishments but I was expected to dole out compliments when he sent me pics of his making dinner. He never complimented anything about me tho.
9. Talked about exes a lot.
10. He turned up the music when I was talking because he said the convo was getting tense and he wanted to lighten it up.
11. "Im surprised you had a great relationship with your dad. Ive never met a girl who did."
12. "I don't need nothing from nobody."
13. "Youre not the only girl in town with a mouth." Meaning...he could get oral s x from other women if he wanted.
14. He kept bringing up the fact I didnt kiss him. "No woman has EVER hidden their lips from me." Lol
15. I messed my leg up in the gym and he never asked how I was doing or that he hoped I would get better.
16. He was a man of low intelligence who relied only on what was in front of him to make often asinine claims.
17. I honestly dont know how he managed to get married and have a 5-year relationship with another woman. The guy is a total nutnik.
18. "Im the easiest person to talk to." "I've never cheated or hit a woman." 😬
Luckily, I only went on two dates with this guy and never put out or kissed him. It was one date too many. Fuuuuuu
Oh wow I'm glad you ended it after 2 dates!!
This sounds like my partner.
Feel out of place with HER being the unavailable one instead. The feeling of being invisible was definitely strong.
Right
17 months in.First Year was more emotional now I feel confused.Even in his texts he's less romantic.feels offhand I feel ill.i need to talk to him but it's so difficult,feels like I'm being difficult when I'm not
I’m sorry you’re going through this 🙏
Can an emotionally unavailable man be married and affectionate for over 10 years?
Yes ❤️
I do not agree on some points
Ok 😊
Yes he was married twice but the second marriage was longer but he are she cheated now he is working a lot now I can't see him ass often he is a social media Facebook man all so is draining
They all say their partner cheated and if you dig deeper it was them because they are known to cheat.
I’m so sorry to hear you went through this 💔
He talked like a baby. Like I was a baby.
That sounds awful.
According to this list, every singe person in the world is emotionally unavailable!!! This makes no sense!!! I guess the best thing to do is just trust your gut and intuition! If you clicked on this video, theres probably something wrong!
Really? Every single person in the world is emotionally unavailable? Wow I can’t believe you’ve met every single person in the world 🙈 btw - I can confirm I’ve met many lovely people who are emotionally available ☺️
This is definitely not every single person in the world, although women can also be emotionally unavailable.
You seem unaware that these signs in him, many of them, could be because YOU are emotionally unavailable. Or do we just assume that women are never emotionally damaged?
I point that out at the end of the video. This channel is for women who struggle themselves with emotionally unavailable, so to answer your last question, no.
This is a video about men being emotionally unavailable. If you want to watch a video on women being emotionally unavailable, go look for those videos.
Gaslighter