Why Is It Said That In Old Age, One Should Not Go Visiting Around? Reasons You Must Know.
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- Опубликовано: 6 фев 2025
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In this video, we explore the reasons why it's often advised that people in their later years avoid frequent social visits. As we age, our perspectives and lifestyles change, often leading to a preference for solitude over sociability. This shift is not contradictory but rather a natural progression of life experiences.
We'll discuss the following key points:
1. *Disturbance:* Visiting others' homes can be intrusive. Each family has its dynamics, and your presence might not be as welcome as you think, causing unintended disruptions.
2. *Causing Trouble:* Frequent visits can lead to unnecessary disputes and misunderstandings. What might seem like innocent conversation can quickly become a source of conflict, especially in close-knit communities.
3. *Psychological Imbalance:* Differences in economic conditions can create discomfort and jealousy. Visiting friends or family with significantly different financial statuses can lead to feelings of inadequacy and comparison.
In old age, many find peace in solitude and prefer to maintain a certain distance in social interactions. This isn't a lack of interest in relationships but rather a way to preserve tranquility and mental well-being. Instead of home visits, meeting in neutral, public places can reduce the stress and inconvenience of hosting.
*Key Takeaways:*
*Embrace Solitude:* Learn to enjoy your own company and find fulfillment in individual activities.
*Limit Home Visits:* Reduce the physical and mental strain by opting for social interactions outside the home.
*Adapt to Changes:* Understand that changing your social habits with age is a natural and healthy progression.
Thank you for watching. If you found this content helpful, please like, subscribe, and share. Stay connected with the Buddhist Zen channel for more insights and discussions. Here, you will never feel alone.
#OldAge #Solitude #SocialVisits #MentalHealth #BuddhistZen #LifeTips #ElderlyAdvice #HealthyLiving #peacefullife
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Before watching this I thought that something is wrong with me. Now I understand why, being alone makes me happy, because I follow no rules or have any schedule I just do things base on my mood. I hate to visit other people house, even my own kids, because I hate being restricted. I dislike small talks, or when people complain I am a critical thinker, and can’t engage in superficial conversation. I stop seeing the world from a prospective of good and evil, as a result it almost impossible to have meaningful and deep conversation with most people. Sometimes I feel like I am outside of the world looking in, and unable to makes sense of what is happening. I am very happy with my life, but most people think I am strange. My advise do whatever makes you comfortable and be happy with your life.
I m the same Just like you
@@donmullage4065i am learning and accepting that being alone is not bad (or sad) afterall.
Very good advice. Do whatever makes you happy. We owe that to ourselves. Just do not hurt others or commit any crimes. If socialising with others makes you happy, go for it. Just don't overstay your welcome. If being far from the madding crowd makes you peaceful, relaxed and happy, make it happen. If after time, should you feel a bit lonely, go back to society. In short do whatever makes you happy.
Same here too. I also avoid attending family reunions and rather be with a dog or cat.
The very best in life is free
I am not alone....I am with myself!
👍👍👍👍
❤
YES😊
@@Cali-at-the-beach I'm not alone my creator Almighty Allah is always with me. Allah ho akbar
@@Cali-at-the-beach ... Good for you!
“A quiet and modest life brings more joy than a pursuit of success bound with constant unrest.” - Einstein
Very true!
Thank you dear for this remarkable quote of Albert Einstein. It says a lot. Thank you
True alternative philosophy 🤗👍
@@AncestralFuel thanks
@@AncestralFuel source indication would be welcome, as the majority of citations attributed to Einstein are false.
I’ve cooked too many meals for people who canceled right before I was expecting them. And when they did show it was nice but, they never invited me over . I felt like they only came because they had nowhere else to go. I would rather not entertain such people anymore.
I’d rather have a nice conversation with a stranger
Totally understand ❤
Really? In what country is this?
@@patriciavandevelde5469 America but, not American people.
Anyone who can keep an appointment with me i will never invite or make meeting plans again
Alone, but never lonely.
❤️❤️❤️
Alone is NOT the same thing as SOLITUDE.
Never lonely with GOD.
Absolutely... Jesus keeps me company....
Absolutely. But Gods presence with in me 🙏
I'm 61, widowed and love my own company sometimes with grand kids.Reading, internet, gardening and feeding my pets is enough for a day.
I'm 69, I stay with my daughter's family for 6 months and another 6 months with my son's family. I did visit friends, ex students and travel, once in a while but I've truly changed. Now, I just want to stay in my comfort zone. Go out once a week to buy my essentials , have a hair cut/wash, pedicure. I enjoy my present life. I'm hoping I can leave this world as happy as I am now 😅😂😊
🇺🇸🕊❤️
God bless you!❤❤❤
Wait until you get to be 75, your comfort zone becomes so precious.
Don't be idle. If one have money. What better way than do charity work.
Peace ✌️🕊️✌️One Love ❤
One's health challenges and changes. Finances. Distance to travel. One learns to become one's best friend.
Well stated !
There are a lot of people with health issues.... You make your own Joy or your own misery!!!
for most people, there are also family challenges - if you have a family that still "connects" you are very fortunate. I think this is something that more people are searching for as our family structure becomes more fragile - or, perhaps, disappears.
Life changes as we grow older. Close friends move away, we start having health issues, and it just plain gets exhausting when you try to do all the things you used to do but can’t. We have to learn to accept our new season in life and be grateful we made it this far
@@charliemurphy3529
You make me cry
This is so true
I am so sorry that this is correct . So many do their best as their life depend on it :
TEAR FAMILY MEMBERS APPART ...FOR EVER....
but thanks, it free me to endlessly blaming myself 😢😢😢😢😢😢
It helps to hear I am not alone🙂❤
I can't decide if I have lost interest in life or if I am just experiencing true contentment. I seem to be happy doing nothing in particular.
Yes, well said..me to!
If you're not suffering from depression then you're contented!
..... and that's okay
Living by yourself may inadvertan cause depression.@@bong9476
I'm in my 70s and I'm there too! Despite the physical limitations of this age, I am more content than I have been at any other time in my life. No more constant striving and feeling i don't measure up.. I live alone but enjoy the company of friends and family when I do visit them. But I enjoy solitude as well. Large crowds of people wear me out quickly. I can go to a social gathering and have a great time but can hardly wait to get home to my cats, my comfy at-home clothes and the quietness!
I’m 68, married and retired. You can’t believe the immense joy I feel being stress-free at home with my two dogs and two cats compared to intermittently being around humans in any environment and feeling uncomfortable with their presence.
Same thing for me ( same age ). Besides I suffer from a serious case of Agoraphobia.
Same here. Cheers!
Better being alone than being with the wrong people.
I feel stressed too being with my wife
@@edgardovillacorte7012 Tell the truth brother, you ain't never lied.
I'm 53 and I've already started distancing from others. I now have very few friends that I can count with my fingers.
same here I came across right time this video. I am 53 too, I go for walks alone, my buidling apartment people are not interested they are only to say hi how are you thats it not interested they have their own life. No genuineness so I decided better to stay and learn to live with oneself
I’m 52 and lost my brothers when our mother died. One brother was instrumental in getting my extremely ill mother and dying to change her will. I guess he thought I was too rich. I busted him because he accidentally sent me a copy of his emails to my mother’s lawyer. He is a lifelong drunk AA person who had only 5k in his name. The other brothers didn’t really stand behind me. I am worth 23 million but that is no excuse to be a creep.
😮@@seekertruth72
Never depend on relationships for fulfillment in life. They will come and go or may turn sour even within a family.
Depend instead on living with yourself and liking it.
There is only one close and personal relationship that you'll ever need and that is the Lord Jesus.
@@djienbrown amen to that
That is faith lol
No truer words have been spoken. Bette Davis said relationships leave you unfulfilled and disappointed. She said she tried on her work for fulfillment
“It is not good for man to be alone…” GOD the FATHER
Thank you I really enjoyed watching this video. I am retired and enjoying living alone. I no longer entertained because I don’t want to spend too much time in the kitchen. I love my life ❤
Some of these comments are comforting to me.
At 87 I have gone from a very friendly helpful lady to a loner, even with my family. I have wondered about it but it seems I am not alone in my actions.
No you're not. God Bless.
82 and love being in my home with my books , coffee and doing whatever I want is nice. I have a Son I enjoy & grown grandchildren. All living lives of their own & I get a text. I really believe this is good because when I leave this world it will be easier on them. I was a social networking person and loved people. Now I Love reality without the drama. Amen ❤️
Thankfully I'm moving to Mexico for my retirement life, it's very different there, we always get together with friends and family even in old age, we have places for senior citizens where they go eat, dance, meet others, and have fun. Same thing with families, we visit all the time for lunches on weekends, for barbecuing, all kinds of celebrations, your neighbor keeps eyes on you, if you get sick they will visit you and bring food. This happens because of the Mexican culture, it's always about socializing until you die. When you get sick, you will always have someone by your side and it's a good feeling. Viva Mexico!❤❤❤❤❤❤!❤❤
Isn't this the opposite of what the video is about though?
Yes! Some cultures are much more fun- loving and caring than this one! AND YOUR COMMENT IS VERY IMPORTANT!
Lol
Yes indeed, a life shared is better than solitude. Just pick the right people.
India was that way once upon a time. No longer.
I am 78 and question everything. Minimizing contact with friends is the best advice for maintaining long lasting friendships. Over exposure is a detriment. Mom used to say ,”familiarity breeds contempt” and there is truth to it.
Most have contempt with even their spouses when they are already too familiar with one another.
@@edgardovillacorte7012 in many cases possibly. Anything is possible but nothing is in stone ever.
While this quote is true, there is another one that is relevant too "Familiarity breeds concern".
Very true. When one visits friends be sure to leave before their welcome wears out.
'If Pleasure Remains, Does It Remain A Pleasure?'
When I was young, my father told me: "You go through life alone". I did not understand. But now that I am old, I understand. People are all different, and want to live their own lives. Familiarity does breed contempt. Better to be alone, in harmony with the Way. Peace and contentment.
Never depend on relationships to be fulfilled in life.
We will be finally alone at last.
❤❤❤❤😢😢😢😢😢😢😢❤❤❤❤❤😮❤❤❤❤❤❤😮❤❤❤
All those years when you have enough energy, you try to prove something to your self, family and friends. Your kids are living in their own. But when you get to your 60s and you are retired, the freedom to be alone is heaven.
It is the best
It truly is the best.
And freedom at last from family and society expectations to perform, accomplish, and earn more.😊
If i were to live my life all over i wouldnt want to endure all the stress i experienced just to please others. It nearly cost me my health.
What freedom? What retirement? I’m 61 & see no end to work in sight. Not by choice…
Excellent video ! It describes me perfectly. I’m 68 . Now I understand why I prefer being alone , why I’m happier and happiest when I’m by myself - alone,, why I don’t go out anymore, why I don’t want anyone coming over , why I don’t wanna go to someone’s home and so on .
Thanks for sharing I am 53 and same feeling here India pune, we are all same
I'm also 68, the older I get the more I feel as you are, before I watched this video, I thought -how I changed and whether I'm getting depression.
@@Ashley-hp2vn sir why depression enjoy your solitude actually it teaches a lot and makes more mature
Same here.
Love yourself, apply your wisdom,enjoy life,love,and laughter .Accept what you can't change,enjoy the moment, cherish memories...people change, times change. Things will never be the same.Enjoy every moment. Do what you have to do to pass on with love and peace in your heart.
True.!🧡🌷
For some months I have been asking myself what has gone wrong, as I don't feel like visiting my friends and relatives. I want to live in solitude. After watching this video it seems I have got answer.
Im 60 and LOVING MY SOLITUDE! My curious mind keeps me busy and entertained!! Absolutely NO NEED to even talk! 👌💯💜
The need to talk is very important. If you don't talk, your words linger round and round in your head without form, without direction, not good for reasoning. I try to greet stray cats in the streets, have a chat with neighbors' dogs, mumbling words of appreciation to the pie I am eating. I go fishing alone to a quiet place and try to sing a song out of a prepared note. It would better be a foreign song, in a language that I don't understand at all, be it Russian, or Japanese, or Spanish. (I am Indonesian, I have never been abroad). Never sing an old favorite song in your own language. The words may remain the same as of old, but the shades of meanings and nuances are long gone. Singing foreign unfamiliar songs gives the sense of freshness and presentness that will make your brain and heart respond more vigorously to them -- a good exercise for the mind. Yes, speaking out is very important just to keep our sanity. And don't be too shy to curse -- moderately, of course. (By the way, I am close to 71).
I like people. I like to meet at a restaurant, and when tired or bored I can just leave. When I have guest, I cannot just go to bed. I like the freedom of leaving by myself, when the conversation goes a direction I do not like! I enjoy myself first, and others second! I like my privacy, and like leaving when I want to!
All true..... just went out with friend who wants to invite someone I don't know...becomes a logistical nightmare ...then on his phone constantly ....i turn my phone off to give you my time exclusively....this video nails it !
After my parents passed away.I never new That,I would be alone. My daughter doesn't want anything to with me. I have learned to get involved with the church. Plus the senior center. As you get older you don't really care.I have enough things to do. I do gardening and 🥫 . Plus growing fruit and vegetables. One more thing, I dehydrated foods too. And make my own bread and other stuff. I thank God for guidance and his blessing, each day. And pray for peace and love . Pass it on Mark 😊
❤❤❤❤❤😢😢😢😢🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😮😮😮😮THANKYOULOVEPEACEBLESSINGSALWAYS❤❤❤❤❤😮❤
As long as you are praying, seek help to be honest and ask yourself why your daughter doesn't want you .....
Making your own bread sounds exciting!
@@MarkGraham-rd5td That's absolutely great 👍 you are able to do all this just because you have God's blessings. Thank him morning and night for his guidance! He's given his best, you can't ask for more!
That's really very good I do the same I'm 64 .I keep my self busy!
In the solitude , solitary comfort of own home with own hobbies & free from anyone in the presence of the Lord, one will find sanity, serenity , quietness, peace of mind that is called the SUCCESS of LIFE !
No news is GOOD news !
Thanks be to the Lord for His Grace & Mercy.
Amen!
Agreed. Solitude can be beautiful... 77.
Well stated !! ❤
When my wife died 3yrs ago my friends said i now look younger😀
Hallelujah🙌
There is a lot of good advice here. I am 71 but prefer visiting in the home vs. out in public. Conversations cannot be as easy in public places. The part about some friends being well off vs. some not being so much can cause these problems you mentioned , but I would hope at older age we would know this is true and not let these issues be obstacles if friends truly care for each other. As we age, our friends die and it's important to spend time with the ones you have left because you could end up with none at all.
I see already visiting family will be an issue. Family members our age are already struggling and we are not. Showing at my sister in law or brother in law is just going make the jealous. They may stupid decisions early in life but are struggling.
I agree more, perhaps, with what you say here than in some of what the narrator says.
I'm 74 and mostly lead a quiet life with my cat, though I visit friends once or twice a week.
I still care much more about world events than anyone I know and, therefore, can't have the conversations most important to me, but I listen to the amazing programs we now have access to on a daily basis and take part in the online discussions.
It warms the cockles of my heart to talk to so many people around the globe who are very well-informed and care as deeply about the major issues affecting us now. ❤
At 72, I retired at 70; a year later my daughter died unexpectedly. The grief was so overwhelming that I stayed by myself with my four dogs, AG parrot, and too many koi. I have found peace and enjoy being alone with my pets.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am deeply sorry for your loss. It’s understandable that you found solace in the company of your pets during such a difficult time. Pets can provide incredible comfort and companionship, and it’s wonderful to hear that you have found peace. Your resilience and ability to find joy in your own way are truly inspiring. Please continue to take care of yourself and cherish the moments with your beloved pets.
I’m so sorry. I would want to be alone in those circumstances too. Most people don’t understand your grief.
Goodness, me, 10:23 i must be getting wise. It was only two days ago when i said to a friend i dont like visiting people anymore,neither do i like being visited, i prefer to meet up outside the home, a cafe, restaurant or go for a nature walk... neither do i entertain neighbours, i did so in the past and loved it until one neighbour changed the dynamics, and i started to see them all differently... im glad i watched this video, it shows me that im not only getting old, but im also getting wise.
From u.k.
It’s a shame you, or should I say we think like that!
Same exactly happened to me!
You have to grow a thick skin!
Or be TOTALLY isolated, especially if you have known them
for over 50 yrs!
@madcyril4135
it is a shame, I agree. But I truly believe that we can get negative around people when we're in their company for too long. Judgmental, on the petty things that can niggle away at us . I suppose it's human nature. I like to keep it short and feel happy that I've enjoyed someone's company and look forward to seeing them again.....
You said it. Meet them at restaurant, bars, etc, but not homes. This should apply to young and old.
Absolutely !
6
Out of all the retirement videos I've watched, this random A1 generated video hit the nail on the head describing my life now at 61. This is what no one talks about. I'm happy to see I'm not alone in thinking this way.
Me too.
I'm 60 and this is how I live now too. I'm happy, contented and feel so blessed at this point in my life.
One's welcome by friends wears out quickly. Get a dog or cat. It's forever loving and will never tire seeing you everyday.😊
I’d like to have a cat but I rent and the rules are no pets sadly.
@@Bluediamond200 maybe you can move to a pet friendly place☺️
@@edgardovillacorte7012 very little landlords offer pet friendly homes in this area
I wouldn't want to live some place where I couldn't have a pet. Have you considered moving?
Those of us who have been Anti-social from childhood, become more comfortable in ourselves. Be. Stay true. I salute you.
Oh yes
I’m very happy and comfortable with myself !
I think unsocial is more correct instead of antisocial
I now understand why hermits are so contented and serene in their lives
It should be un social not anti social I believe
I am a very sociable person. And i don’t like being alone. However, as we age, our perspective change and we become wiser and learn to be happy being alone. I have this quotation in mind…”Blessed are they who expects nothing (from anyone), They shall not be disappointed”. I am 69. I play guitar. Now learning Uke and piano. Most of the time, i do counselling on “messenger”. I do simple DIY and carpentry. I teach driving, or driving some friends who cant do it if they are not feeling okay but have to go out. But most of all, spending time reading the Bible and other books and church visitation keeps me busy and productive. Anyone can be happy being alone.
Hey, Ernie, I love your sharing. You seem to adjust well with age and is self motivated and self sufficient. With people or alone, you seem to take it in stride, not expecting but just living. You might still get to be 91 like me. Good luck!
@@conradbulos6164 thank you for your kind comment. And you are 91? Blessed are you!!!
Which country are you ma/sir. I am a Nigeria woman, i will like to be charting with you sir/ma.
72 and living alone for 15 years…oh and I’m blind too…I’m very happy and thanks to the internet I am able to “see” and talk to family and friends via internet…as long as you have a computer there is no reason to be “lonely”
Hi Cathy.
I enjoyed your comments
Hi Cathy my brother also lives on his own and is blind and the computer is a lifeline to him. It enables him to read the newspapers,get all the sports results E mail friends and family etc. He finds the time passes quickly and is never lonely.. Wishing you lots of Irish luck☘️
❤❤❤❤😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😮😮😮😮❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤❤❤😢😢😢😢😮💕💕💕😘😘 ✌️✌️✌️🕊️🕊️🕊️ BLESSINGS 👑👑🙏🙏🙏🙏👼😇☺️😊❤❤❤❤❤😮❤
Hello, I have a question. you said you were blind how can you do computer? I don’t get it!
Google computers for the blind.@@tranghoang6248
Books are the best friends. When we are reading a book we are communicating with the author and live with the characters.
True words❤.
Now that im old i learned not to count on relationships to be happy. They come and go and can turn sour even with yoùr own family
Thank God my mother enjoys reading books; the Bible included. A retired school teacher who loved to and excelled in teaching English grammar and literature. She dives, soaks and flexes her mental muscle in literary works 🏊 😊
I totally agree. People come with different energies and familiarity breeds contempt.
True. When even spouses become too familiar with one another they too begin to have contempt for one another
True
"No relationship can survive contempt"
Those different energies may leave your family disrupted and quarrelling for days.
I’m 62, just retired, and live alone. I’m currently having a new house constructed. Celibate since 2002 (I’ve never met a kind woman). I visit my son and daughter occasionally and could not be happier.
Gosh, that's a real reality check for us women. You've never met a kind woman, that's a serious statement. Well I'm glad to hear that you're happy regardless. ❤
@@TinaRossetti-ty6zyPeace to you!!! What a kind statement!!! Question, why are you shocked by this statement? Many women who are older state the same
@@TinaRossetti-ty6zy I think you are kind!
@Alan-Iv9rw Nor I real man, pish!
People do say this, “ I could not meet a kind women or man”, and they go on in life being lonely and sad or content with loneliness and sadness.
There are so many people in the world and yet we all are saying the same thing. Is it maybe because of own fears and insecurities. “Every moment is a bead in a chain, our past does not haunt us, the past is haunted by us (RENAISSANCE).
If we just take a chance and just let it be for what it is an “Experience”.
Family and people come & go. Never depend on them for your happiness or emotional support. You came into this world alone & you’ll leave this world alone. Meantime do what you can to live a peaceful positive life. 🎉
Luckily i found this video. I’m 52 now. this is the best motivational video i’ve found in youtube to relief my anxiety, restless mind & lack of energy. It answers a lot of doubt in my life now. Tq so much.
Thank you for sharing your experience! It's wonderful to hear that the video was able to provide you with motivation and relief during this time. It's never too late to find inspiration and clarity, and I'm glad this video helped answer some of your doubts. Wishing you continued strength and positivity on your journey ahead!
I have lost many people in life, i honestly do not miss them but i miss my dog every day every minute.
Your dog must've loved you a lot
Right there with you man....
Miss my dog
As I'm getting older(75) , I hate empty conversations, answering questions,putting on shows ect. Most of important peoples in my life is gone, so I basically learned to be alone. It will be nice to have a lady around now and then.
@@douglasjones5880 you will meet the right lady in yr right timing-- God has a plan for you 🙏
Thank God for the internet,where we can have online friends!
A much younger lady perhaps😀
Visit Bangkok nice place
Being a grandparent, going out twice a week to play pool, going to the gym. Alone time to relax and reflect. Grateful for that.
I am 69. Recently retired from my profession. I am actively learning Arabic language online and getting sense of accomplishment. I have a close vibrant circle of friends and sometimes pass hours together in a local restaurant cheering like young age. There is nothing to be so critical and over sensitive on old age issues. Take care of your physical and mental health, financial resources and planning, keep control on your assets, do charity, try to keep update on modern technology and sciences. Most important give time to your loved ones. Meditate and pray to God and thanks God for everything that he has given to us .
That sounds wonderful! It's inspiring to see how active and engaged you are in your retirement. Learning a new language and enjoying time with friends are great ways to stay fulfilled. Keeping a balance between physical health, financial planning, and connecting with loved ones is truly valuable. Wishing you continued happiness and fulfillment in this phase of life!
i am 70 surgeon with shills and qualification still continue to work post-retirement to keep me mentally strong,teaching,practising and serving the poor.,whch keeps me moving and happy.I have children who care about me and wife,because we gave them love,education and took care of them,that says what you give your children, you get back in old age.of course friends are better than relatives.one more thing in old age is keep your money and property with you till you live, do not distribute all to your children till your death ,.other wise you will be thrown out if you stay with them and lose respect..so money is important in old age to live peacefully,no one cares about you when you are poor.
Poverty does not make one popular !
Indeed, safeguard your money because money is not all and yet everything : life is full of paradoxes. Money is an inanimate object through which one can judge character. In fact IMHO, it is the best judge of character. When you have no money, spiruality, philosophy etc quickly flows out the window.
Yes very true. Without money you dont have friends, relatives and even a family.
Money is the greatest deodorant in relationships.
@@rajennaidoo7 yes very true. The saying 'Money cant buy happiness' is one of the greatest falsehoods
thanks
Im 64yrs old. I always had close friends but as time goes by.I notice that people in their sixties have also changed. Im more close and happier with family and my grandkids.We still have movie night and my grandson is 19.It keeps life simple because for me aging people say things that was never said..Young people for me have much better topics and communication skills...So I love hanging out with my adult kids and grandkids.And their friends are always welcome. And they believe im a cool grandmother.❤❤❤
@linda....6224 Oh wow, lucky you, enjoy your second childhood ....
Attitude is the key. 😀
A good shout....I ain't ready for the pipe and slippers just yet either....why make yourself older than you need to be..keep lively madam! 👌
I can really relate to this. I have no desire to be out in the craziness today. I prefer to spend my time in peace.
Can I ask your age? I am 51. I can relate to your comment.
I do not walk with Buddha BUT this is so true it took me to my knees!
I now know I do not walk alone = this is me!
Absolutely true, every word could easily match my own experiences and heartaches where acquaintances, fair weather friends and especially where family members are concerned.
The same dynamics seem to arise when frequenting the local businesses in the small Irish village where I currently reside; familiarity breeding contempt and the inevitable liberty taking by others at my expense. Watching this video has given me a huge confidence boost to know that I am not the only elderly person afflicted by this phenomenon and that choosing periods of solitude is beneficial to one's own peace of mind and wellbeing.👍
Im 67, all comments are very informative and inspiring. Can relate much some and the rest i have to start prepare my mindset now and embrace reality🙏🤔
Much of what you talked about rang true with me..77 and love my solitude.
Truth is as you get older all of the people you know start passing on. Once a large group of people, has now dwindled down to only a few. You want to be alone for multiple reasons, tired, sad, missing your loved ones and you lose the spark of having fun, because there is no one to go have fun with anymore.
I am a hermit, but now and then I take my golf cart out at night and drive through the sprinklers on the golf course like a little kid all by myself. Shhh don't tell.
Watch out for AlleyGaters, even during the days esp. i believe ur living in Florida, SC, Louisiana, PolyAna ... as stoiped traditional retirees do.
and run when u kants even w/o ur pants when more frequent n much louder furry Mr/Ms HarryCane visit u B4 they land in ur house.
The occasional chat to neighbours and people out walking tends to be enough sometimes. But other times, it can feel quite miserable if the weathers bad and we can't step outside for days on end..
@@schutendohkji548 I live in the desert far from Florida. Coyote and Javelina territory.
@@standdown4929 Glad ur nut a traditional retiree n being safe against the pitfall of those 2 states.. I guess u can eat the latter
for din din too. Ur far far away, long, long,
ago from ppl. but yet, though desert, apparently ur area hv nuf water for the gulf course... Happy life 2u2.
@@schutendohkji548 I just retired last year, but still work. Javelina are too gamey, yuk. We run off of an underground well for water. You don't have to be retired to own a golf cart; I had mine way before I retired...Happy life 2u2.
In his youth, individual is constantly searching for some wonderful world, which he is convinced exists, but he cannot find it at all.
And then the day comes when he realizes that this wonderful world is inside each individual personality. But it is some strange magic - the world is inside us, and we see it outside of us. Everything we see is within us.
When a person realizes this - the search ends, and the most beautiful part of the play begins.
Fascinating comments here 😂
I am 67 and I find myself agreeing with most of the comments.
I am sitting here listening to Uncle Meat by Frank Zappa. No one here , my partner is at work , I have a coffee , I shower , I am relaxed and I have a stack of cds I shall play today , I shall sleep when I want . . . I am free .
I realise that a great deal of stuff that kept me awake and worried so long ago have evaporated .
After I die I will not be remembered at all and that suits me fine .
I am happy in my cocoon that I worked so hard for in my life .
Do your own thing and find your place and fck who goes against you 😂❤
Solitude and stoicism philosophy is absolutely essential for older people to live comfortably and well let young people have their own space
Very good advice. Only insecure people fear solitude.
@zhu.... 3905 Not really. People are of different personalities. No need to play judge.
When you're young, you have many friends, a few best friends & lots of acquaintances. As you age you have less friends, 1 or 2 best friends & even less acquaintances!!!
The best friend to have is a dog or a cat. They will love you unconditionally even if you are the poorest person in the world
I had many friends and acquaintances, all but a few are dead.
When you have a lot of money you would have a lot of friends. And you would always be welcome to visit as long as you bring something to their table😁
@@edgardovillacorte7012RAW TRUTH
Shallow, frivolous and otherwise non-stimulating conversations that drones on and on is what keeps me away from social circles. It’s like going to repetitive PTA meetings.
Same here. Whenever i have a reunion with old friends i hear the same recounting of our experiences and shenanigans. Spending a lot in those reunions is the deodorant.
No one goes through life alone ; all that we put into the lives of others someday somehow comes back into our own. Choose wisely….
My in-laws only call if they want something or have something to boast about. Who needs them?
The sad fact in a relationship is as elizabeth taylor quipped "Money is the greatest deodorant"😁
@@heliandme that also includes so called friends. Money is the greatest deodorant in a relationship😁
To have company in old age go through life with a dog or a cat
The way the world is going today you’re scared to go anywhere. You go minding your own business and some nut job comes along and starts shooting people they don’t know. It’s sad and unsettling. I’m 69years old and it seems like they are people who don’t care for anyone but themselves. It’s just sad.
That happened at a very busy mall here in Texas about a year ago. I would never had thought it would happen but it did.
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This is so true .l dont like visiting but if i have to half an hour is enough .lm only happy in my own home .Age has changed me .
I learned some time back how this dynamic plays out. When I was younger and involved in clubs and my child’s schools, I was forced to be social. I stupidly believed these people were my friends and I would be welcomed any time. Alas, it finally occurred to me that these club members simply want my money. Membership fees, funds for activities, and if you quit it or lose interest? Boom! You are a non entity. I also noticed the rampant jealousy and competitiveness. Single people hate the married. Who has a bigger house or more stuff? If someone seething with jealousy cannot find a way to discount or trash you, they just make stuff up, to spread gossip to others. It really is best to just have shallow pleasant greetings with people and learn to be alone with the self.
I'm old enough to remember a time when there was no internet; no p.c.'s, and you can forget about cell phones- all there was were land lines, wall phones and phone booths.
People would get together to have interesting conversations and spread local news (or-ok, GOSSIP, too). NOW, everyone is continuously bombarded with news and info they don't really even care about, or even time to *digest* . We're ALL suffering from information *overload* . There's too much to process, so we need to do a little bit of a mental circuit-breaker-type *shutdown*, to keep the circuits from overloading.
Absolutely, the evolution of technology has dramatically changed how we communicate and consume information. It's interesting to reflect on simpler times without constant digital distractions. Taking breaks from the information overload can indeed be rejuvenating. Finding balance in today's connected world is key to maintaining mental clarity and focus.
I have been many faces to the world and now alone the world shows me who I am. I am grateful for the experiences and lessons for it made me so proud of who I am. People will continue to cross paths with me but, I draw the the line for which they cross. I have in my old age earned that right and my peace is not for sale. I respect, tolerate, care and love but my peace is not for sale. Life is an experience- enjoy it while you have it. Life is not just about people but about a different language and sound, the kind that being alone can teach one. I wish all who read this a beautiful journey of life.
That's a lovely analogy.
❤😂
Glad I watched this video and it made me realize this is human nature as we age. In a way it's kinda sad that I was once surrounded by good friends and slowly everybody is going their own path and solitude like myself. Just enjoy your own company and family.
It's a poignant realization that as we age, our social circles can naturally shift, and we might find ourselves more solitary. It’s natural to feel a bit nostalgic about past friendships, but focusing on enjoying your own company and cherishing family connections can bring a lot of fulfillment. Embracing solitude as a time for self-reflection and peace can be a positive way to navigate these changes.
I enjoy the peace and quiet of my home. I don’t have to clean up after anyone but myself. I had a so called friend who wasn’t a friend after fifty four years of knowing her. She is married and her husband has a good retirement income but my so called friend think I am suppose to pay for her vacations because I am single. Your RUclips was very helpful to me. Thank you!
I'm glad the video was helpful to you! It's important to enjoy the peace and quiet of your own space and to be mindful of boundaries with friends. It sounds like you've navigated a difficult situation with grace. If you have any other questions or need more advice, feel free to reach out!
Going on 80 but still active as give God praise and live one day at time.
Thank you for reminding that its not proper to disturb other homes in old age. But true👍👍👍
Choose your company wisely.
This video describes my life down to the finest details. I’m 52, and went through all these problems with my neighbors who I socialized with…too much. I don’t do gossip and having to explain my life to neighbors who will probably gossip about whatever I tell them. These traps are easy to fall into with the best of intentions on both sides. I think well meaning people can end up falling out because of pettiness and envy.
💯 agree with you ❤️
I find misunderstandings to be a huge problem.
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Even if you say nothing they just make stories up about you. You can't win!
@@johenderson3742 that’s literally what happened to me. If you’re quiet, that means you’re a dark horse with secrets (according to them).
I have no problems with not socializing but I can be social. I am both an introvert and an extrovert but I'd like a great spiritual mate to spend the rest of my days with. 👍
I am 60 catching up 😊 with my old friends Friday evening gals night out known these two my whole life but it's been 8 years since I have seen them so we have a lot of catch up to to as we have all been through so much lost so many people be safe have fun...❤❤❤❤
Wonderful
It's better to be engaged in some activity rather than living in isolation, I am 64 years old, enjoying my retired life, being a teacher helps me in planning my daily schedule. Every thing depends on our attitude, it's better to live happily without disturbing others including our children. Good guidance from Buddha Zen
God provides better advice through Solomon and of Proverbs in the Bible! 🙏
I’m a registered nurse, age 70 and still working 3 days a week. It Keeps me sharp mentally and keeps y body moving. My partner of 30 years died last year. I miss him of course but working really helps me and I have 2 wonderful sons. I have no friends but somehow I’m content and in a good space.
Being alone has become the norm even in India these days with more and more people getting glued to scial media and mobile. I had a wonderful day when growing up with my aunts, uncles, grandparents and with my siblings always talking and having fun. When traveling by train those days, people used to talk with each other and share food. It was really joyful. But now things have changed. But still I make it a point to visit my parents at least twice a week and I always cook something special for them. So does my sister. My parents love us visting them. But the younger generation are all glued to the internet. My son hardly speaks with me. India is also slowly following the wetern world. This is really sad.
Keep active and keep social..it is not good for people to totally be by themselves. There is so much to be interested in.
I agree. There’s no reason I can see why one shouldn’t be social even in one’s later years 😮
We have to continue to learn and evolve no matter the age. Socializing at your own timing & pace is a good alternative to being all alone all the time & become a hermit only talking to yoursel daily! 😢 you can’t teach yourself much, but by socializing, you learn a lot and when you have enough for the day, you leave!!😀 it is a balancing act.
Call ahead to see if your neighbor or friend has time for a visit. Don't just barge in and impose yourself
I had an old friend from high school ( we graduated in 1983 ) about eight years ago just out of the blue. My took the call while I was at work. I had thought about over the years and was so excited to reconnect. Well when I called him he was living with his father and was married and divorced twice and with kids from the second marriage. I was so disappointed because at the time I’d been married for over twenty years with four grown children. My wife died three years ago after thirty five years of marriage. I don’t see myself getting involved with someone and I’m enjoying the peace of mind that comes from solitude.
Totally agree and feel the same. Thank you for sharing!
Some good advice here. I grew up as a loner, but I can mingle if need be. Life can become more complex as we age. Codependent people may have a hard time with this advice. Remember God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit are always with us.live in accordance with our Lord's laws.
The Chinese Snots lockdown , a gift from left politicians did a lot to change lifestyles forever. Some scardy cats still wear masks! Which never could have stopped an airborne pathogen. Thanks Dr. Phony and Co. America go back to God. Follow Louisiana replacing the 10 Commandments back in schools. Teach your children the Gospels of Christ.
I totally agree with this because I’m experiencing solitude as I get older and make my self busy.
People are tired of being hotel rooms for friends. To many leeches in the world. They come make a mess, cost money expecting free meals. And then leave. Would they do the same for you. NO! I don't let people in my home any longer. I get nothing out of it, but the work load, expense, and am over it.
Hi if you live abroad you suddenly find out just how many more friends you have that really miss you and want to visit , but not in an hotel , oh no , in your free b&b , and insist you drive them everywhere and be a taxi to the airport , on leaving they will give you£20 or so like it’s a fortune for you , no more !
@@christinebeames712 I live on a large ranch over looking the ocean, I know what you mean.
Sounds like you know my in-laws.
My wife doesn't allow anyone home anymore, while it's a bit extreme I understand her.
There is a time for everything under the sun.
A time to welcome with open arms and a time to shelter in place.
Wow, that is so wise. .My wife and I have been married imany years. We have no children. We have been separated for about 7 years and help each other and every Friday I take her out to eat. We get along good now that we are separated. She has her friends and they get together. I have a few and we seldom get together. Being alone is good
Living alone creates lot of activity and picking up new hobbies. I am 68 and live alone. I am my own handman so always have some ongoing project at home. I like to invest in my health so either walking, biking or going to fitness center is daily routine depending on weather one or another. I love to cook and youtube is an excellent resource to learn new recipes. I like to sew so curtains, table covers, chair covers, alternation etc are always under experiment. 😂 By evening I am ready tosleep by 10pm.
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I am grateful to God for my friends .We all are in the bracket of 55-75 years of age. We almost every weekend have potluck get together in anyone's house . Which has kind of become a rotation. We all respect each other. Everyone's children are adult and have their own families. We once a year visit them for a month or so. We pray together, we drink and dance and celebrate life together. We go for the movie together. Sometimes we organize musical evening and have fun. Honestly no need to be fearful that you will " disturb" your friend's family. We all friends are couples only. Sometimes our children visit us and we throw parties together to welcome them!
Sounds like you are living a great life!!! I wish I can join your fun circle of friends!😀
@@chantellucky4565 ,we thank God for everything.
I am 66 and love being by myself. Enjoy my own company. I love my children but only visits by invitation. I'm glad to see more ppl feel the way I do. Thanks for sharing 😊😊
Well said!
I have always liked having time to myself people are too much drama I'm 57 almost 58 and love living by myself! I work and go to church that is enough socializing! When I'm home it's my own paradise! ❤🏡❤🍷🍰🧁🥓🍕🥗🍝🙂
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I enjoyed this channel so much thank you..Im 84 n in grest health..love my life ..always thanking God for being there in situations n feel modt grateful for all the kindness He shows ...❤
You are so welcome
Seasons change people change. The only thing that remains constant is change.
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I realized this long ago and am realizing the same truth more now. Excellent message!
Thanks!
I thought I was not normal anymore... precisely this is what is happening to me. I'm 66 now. I have two bicycle buddies and we only meet during these trips twice a week. We ride one hour, go to our favorite coffee restaurant near the beach and sit there talking for one hour and then go home. We don't visit each other in our respective homes. If people want to come to me, I find it too much interruption with my life. And I thought I was anti-social. I like talking to people, but I don't like visiting nor to be visited. I prefer to meet outside of the house, but not too many times. We (the two bicycle buddies and I) go once in a month for an early diner in town. I'm the youngest, I pick the two others up. They are in their seventies, both can't or should not drive anymore. Even that one time in a month, I do because I want to be nice to them and bring them somewhere. I would not go, but prefer to stay home and watch a nice movie.
This is so absolutely true!! My sentiments exactly & I never imagined anyone else would understand how I feel!!
Theres to much presure in a social enviroment!!!! I feel judged-- only to hear shallow talk im so bored and just want to go home and watch a movie on my couch with my dogs--- love my alone time !!!
Dont count on having relationships to be happy.
I am 80 years. Done my life with adventures, challenges & competitions. Nothing to prove anymore. Now is the time to rest & enjoy being alone with my wife. Getting out for lunch & watching people. Quite contented with my achievement. Time to rest my body & just reminiscing my memoirs. No regrets & happy with my life now.
Keep it up
Look back at any above 25 and you'll see that people come and go. Don't make other people the center of your life, they will keep coming and going until you die.
@@CraigAnderson-h2h very true-- I'm in my 60-s and iv built every one else up in life and I'm now left behind--- iv been selfless all my life and iv been left for dead!!!!! Focus on you and not others!!!!!
Hi there..to the gentleman who lost his wife recently i hear you and I want to say dont give up on life there will always be someone who could benefit from your years of experiencing Life ...be brave go out and meet other people and you never know what surprise is around the corner 😊
Hope you feeling chirpy today ..remember that you are Blessed and you can change your circumstances by changing your mindset
I'm in my late seventies and I find this video quite good, I have experienced many things described and agree that it's wiser to keep to one's self more than not. Friends are best kept a bit apart so no one feels smothered. I find socializing to be difficult. Even though I sometimes feel lonely, trying to escape loneliness can have more negative consequences. I'm glad I found this channel and this particular video. it really resonates with my experience.
It’s great to hear that you found a video that resonates with your experience and offers valuable insights. Balancing social interactions with personal space can indeed be crucial for maintaining well-being. It’s important to find what works best for you and to honor your own needs and preferences. If you ever need more support or advice, I’m here for you.
I had wondered why I had difficulty participating in social situations. I had thought that there was something wrong with me. I did blame my hearing losses for it and thought that I just wasn’t “good enough” to socialize with people. I’m good one-on-one but rarely find people who’d be good for that. Even with my family, which I love and care for, I find myself feeling separated in gatherings. I think this video helped me understand why this is. Obviously I am naturally seeking solitude while still being a social person. This video has been quite helpful to understand my situation and dilemma.
Thanks for the advise
I prefer to be alone. Listening to my iphone and radio. My pet dog is my companion.
What the heck just keep fit and get going doing new things.
Join a martial arts school
Do 🏋 weight lifting
Dance school moon walking
Meditation
Explore cooking , don't waste time on empty philosophy
Keep going man being alive itself is so precious enjoy every moment.
Wishing good life to all mankind.❤❤❤
Try jiu-jitsu, easier on the old muscles
Gymnastic rings, longboarding 🛹and swimming 🏊♂ for this old guy.
I started my martial arts journey at the age of sixty with Yoshinkan Aikido.
It's fun doing new things and meeting new people.
You are one hundred 💯 percent on track Very true 👍 Very well put together.
Glad you think so!
Im 65,my wife just passend away feb. 2024. Both parents of mine already in heaven also my 7 siblings. I was sad then when they died, but not like what I'm now experiencing due to my wife's death.We been very together for 36 yrs.Every day I cry.I miss her so much.I do praise God 4 she's now comforted in heaven.Ŵhen here, she's very sick n bed ridden.I believe Jesus is our life giver
Juses will guide you and comfort you ❤
May the Almighty give you strength and courage to tread on the thorny path of Life!
Hope alone helps ❤
Surely your Dear Wife does not want you to cry. Please take care of yourself with down time and prayer.
You gave her love and care and a good life. She loved you…. it’s a huge Grace in this Day and age. Cherish the great times you had. You are a good soul . Gods grace will be with you
I take a vastly different view than most. True retirement is 6 feet under. Im at 60 and still working...started learning the Piano 4 years ago. Just bought a camper that needs renovation. It's my side project which I have no clue wtf I'm doing.
The point is to keep stretching your mind and skills and social circles.
ha ha sounds fun , stay good from UK.
🏕 ❤
Ia m 64 look like 40 i go gym socialise i have friends i travel and studying psychotherapy. I've never been that balanced .
That's a very healthy approach and ideal for many people to keep themselves busy and occupied.
This also vindicates the message in this video in so far as there will always be some of us who aren't necessarily interested in leading the life others have chosen, hence best not to do your own thing in solitude if that's what one prefers, rather than frequenting others and come away feeling inadequate. 🙏
Do not expect anything from anyone, never ever..
I agree partly on your opinion. But getting older does not mean you have to isolate yourself. The key is socializing and interaction. In our Filipino culture there are lots of opportunity to be with friends and loved ones. It’s because we have strong family ties, and we build friendships that lasts. It’s us who determines our destiny with God guiding us. So surround yourself with relationships, it’s your choice to be lonely. Solitude is a virtue😀
As an older European I don't agree. I don't need socialising to be happy. I m very happy with my wife and 😺 and seeing from time to time my stepdaughter and her guy, or some cousin or acquaintance.
Different countries, have different cultures, be it family or friends. Being alone does not translate to being lonely!
Filopenos crab mentality
I agree..western culture is too individualistic for me. Not good for the soul. It's a lonely depressing society, so my husband and I have decided to move out of the States. I watch my elderly neighbors up the street who have no other family besides one son who periodically stops by to see them. My husband assists when he can with some of their needs as we have known them since the man was a little younger and more vibrant but we are in our early 50s ourselves.