Your honesty is breaking barriers. When I was pregnant, two decades ago, women felt like you are, but never admitted it. I’m so glad we’re finally having these conversations!
You are a warrior Bryony. Making yourself this vulnerable about an EXTREMELY taboo subject is incredibly brave. Your son is so lucky to have you as his momma ❤️
Bryony you have no idea how this has healed me. I had the Same experience in pregnancy and whilst I adore my son now and mercifully it all went away when I brought him home, I carried that guilt with me over those thoughts ever since and hearing someone share them out loud and almost reassure how common they are and how they don’t at all correlate to the type of mother you’ll be is incredible. Thank you for sharing. ❤
This is so important. I was so depressed I was suicidal when I was pregnant. The hormones and feeling like I wasn't myself just did something to me that was extremely traumatizing. It also was right at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic so I know the sense of isolation didn't help. Thank you for being brave enough to tell your story!
I didn’t tell anyone at the time. But I wanted to die when I was pregnant. I had HG ( hyperemesis gravidarum ). From 4 weeks to 37 weeks, when I gave birth. I really wanted to give up on life. I’m so glad I made it through. Crazy to say, I will do it all over again for my baby girl. 💚
Mental Illness certainly does not discriminate. I'm so happy that you're being realistic for us online. Too many people try to just be that 'famous mama' and hide the struggles they may have.
Thank you for this video. My husband and I struggled to get pregnant and when I finally got pregnant with our little miracle baby I was experiencing severe morning sickness and fatigue in my first trimester. I felt sick 24/7 and felt exhausted. It made me feel really depressed at a time I thought I would beam with joy. I also had a horrible birthing experience due to a incompetent midwife which lead to a postnatal depression. Unfortunately I didn’t get help and struggled for years. I feel better now and I’m grateful for people like you that are open about this topic.
Bryony, I don’t know if you truly understand what you have just done. This video will change the course of events for so many families. So many of us have experienced what you speak of here and it’s terrifying. The isolation you feel, just within yourself is like a prison. Your candor brings me to tears. I remember these feeling so well. It’s been 12 years sense that first pregnancy for me and I just want to hug that young woman. Bless your heart for this ❤ Yet again, you have started a conversation that is necessary and breaking a taboo. So much love from the US 💜
She has been quite open about her struggles with pregnancy, look her up on RUclips if you have not already. She is actually the reason I knew I was depressed during my pregnancy, I had no idea it was a thing until she shared her story.
I remember thinking I was the worst woman in the world crying over the toilet in early pregnancy because I thought there was no was I could get to the other side of the morning sickness. I couldn't understand how other women experienced and copped with sickness that severe, I now know I had HG, but at the time I felt like a failure for not being able to cope. Thank you for sharing that these feelings are normal in pregnancy
So much this! I was pregnant with my daughter 21 years ago. I considered abortion, because I was so sick with HG from 6 weeks until I gave birth. I remember one particular night in my second trimester I was hunched over the toilet getting violently sick and the strain of retching made me urinate all over myself. I called my mom and just sobbed and sobbed. The doctors and nurses treated me like it was my fault. Like I had a weak stomach and they told me to drink Gatorade and wear sea sickness wristbands. The constant sickness left me largely housebound, because I had horrible anxiety of throwing up in public. Nobody talks about how utterly despaired chronic morning sickness can make someone feel.
I've had 7* losses (I'm diagnosed clinically infertile) and I could NEVER expect anyone to "just be happy" because someone else has "been through worse"... Your experience is real and it has real life effects! Sending you all my love and strength 💖💕💕💕 and thank you for talking about this, people need to see different types of stories because not all pregnancys are peachy. *Edited* idk why my phone changed the number!?
I struggled with antenatal depression in my last pregnancy. It was pretty severe, but unfortunatelly went unnoticed. My first pregnancy ended in a still birth and I always struggle during the cold months, so everyone thought, it just had to be a combination of the two. Plus, I masked it really well to the outside. I realised how bad it really was, when I started to tackle my overall mental health problems a year later. Up to that point, I didn't even know, antenatal depression was a thing. I'm horrofied when I think back to some dark moments during the pregnancy. I had suicidal thoughts and the only thing that kept me going, was the fact, that the baby would die with me and I did not want that. I am so thankful that you made this video, because if just one struggling pregnant person feels less alone because of it and gets help, that would be a huge win. So, thank you, thank you very, very much for beeing a voice and a light.
I am 20 years old and not pregnant, but I really enjoy your videos and I’m grateful for your honesty. Thank you for sharing your experience -it takes a lot of guts to open up like this. I can relate because I struggle with multiple mental illnesses and suffer with a lot of the symptoms you described every day. My heart really goes out to you. It is so hard to get yourself out of a place like that, and I don’t know you personally, but I feel really proud of you and I hope you feel proud of yourself too ❤️❤️
I've never heard of a single case of anybody having an abortion because of severe prenatal depression and that's what happened to me. I regret it a lot, especially now seeing that so many women struggle with the same things throughout pregnancy but still find strength to continue. There's no way back ofc, I can only hope for another healthy pregnancy and strengths to go through it mentally. I wish I found this video and these comments earlier. It's so true that nobody is talking about this...
Bryony you're AMAZING!!!! and so strong!!! Thank you so much for sharing this story!! we really need to normalize everything we women go through!! Advocating for yourself at the doctor is so important! and how u managed to get this far is just commendable!! I'm soo proud to be a long term subscriber and supporter! hopefully baby comes out safely and I wish you a very peaceful delivery!
I swear I can’t get over how surreal it is to hear you talk about the same feelings I have right now. I used to watch you when I was little and now I’m 19 and 35wks pregnant and struggling mentally. You’ve literally been there for me all of middle school and now pregnancy too it’s surreal❤
Please STRONGLY consider going on a med by 36 weeks to prevent severe post partum psychosis. You are at large risk. So glad you’ve been seeking out care . ( OB family here)
@Nyon Pyon you are twice as likely to have post partum mental health issues if you have previously had mental health issues, either before or during pregnancy
@@nyonpyon8099 depression increases the chances of having post partum psychosis at any point of your life, dude! But I'm glad she's super happy now that her baby is out of the womb
Thank you SO much for such a raw video on your experiences. Mental health, depression and especially psychosis in pregnancy are so taboo and your experiences are so valuable in normalising the discussion. People don't understand the effect pregnancy can have on the mind. They hear mother's stories (peri or post) of experiencing suicidality, psychosis, intrusive thoughts of harming their child etc and think it makes them a bad mother. Mothers going through this don't ACTUALLY want to harm their babies, but people can't understand this! I hope this becomes a more normalised discussion and mother's aren't made to feel guilty about a very common experience ❤
Your honesty is so admirable. Your strength to overcome the horrors your mind and body has been through is incredible. I love hearing how dedicated you are to use what you have learnt in therapy to cope with potential mental issue in the future is really encouraging. Just to hear that we aren't hopeless to mental illness but can still believe in ourselves to get through it. You got this!
People need to talk about this side of pregnancy more because it’s all too real and it’s all so dangerous. Thank you for speaking out about it, you are so strong ❤
Thank you for this. You are helping many feel not so alone in their struggles, and that’s so important. I’m sorry you didn’t have this magical pregnancy that’s always shown. But what you are doing is magical, you are showing a side of pregnancy that many go through and it needs to be spoken about more openly. Thank you again. Remember how strong you are fighting your mental battles, you will be a strong mom. 😊
Thank you for sharing this! It's an important reminder that the snippets you see all over social media aren't representative of how an individual might experience pregnancy. When I was pregnant, I was so nauseous and was having joint pain that made day to day tasks SO difficult. I remember a friend coming up to me and saying, "Wow, you look so great! I'm so happy this has been such an easy pregnancy for you!" And I just started crying because how I looked was so far removed from how I felt.
I am in the US and I also experienced antenatal depression and anxiety. I got referred to a therapist to avoid medication, and the therapist said she really didn't understand why I was there bc "depression happens after the baby is born". I was so lost and feeling like I was the odd man put and alone. It is sad that women have to experience this. My heart goes out to you.
Yes! I experienced depression throughout my entire first pregnancy and it was the most difficult experience I've ever been through because I felt like my baby deserved better and that I didn't deserve to be pregnant. I'd never heard of anyone feeling the way I felt in pregnancy, because it's so taboo. And friends and family were baffled by it. Such an important thing to talk about, thank you so much for sharing something so difficult and sensitive.
What you’ve described was my pregnancy to a tee. I remember joining a mum group and every time someone posted about having a miscarriage I was overwhelmed with jealousy. How wild is that. This was a very wanted baby but that’s how sick I became mentally.
Dito.... I even laugh about miscarriage... Because of jealousy. Only when I am pregnant... Outside of my pregnancies I see it with different eyes. Now I am pregnant again, for the third time and I really need to pay attention to not to do any sh!t to harm me n the baby. Even if I am in week 38 now, I can't stop thinking of abortion, miscarriage and even adoption. On the other hand I know that I will be happy when I see the baby when I will feel better some hours after giving birth.
I love that you have posted this video. Me and my husband have been trying to conceive for 8 and a half years. We have had 6 failed rounds of clomid and a failed ivf cycle. At Christmas I found out I am expecting a miracle baby naturally 😍 I am overwhelmed with joy and excitement, but the anxiety of something going wrong is horrific! I had the same thing as you where I was happy when I took the test, however it just felt almost natural and not like a fireworks feeling. I currently don’t want to leave the house because I am petrified of bleeding and not being able to check if I am when I’m out. On top of that I am feeling/being extremely sick 24/7 at the moment and so I feel so miserable. Everyone expects me to be just full of joy and excited but currently I just can’t get up off the sofa. People keep asking me how I am, and when I say I’m sick, they say “that’s a good sign” and there is no sympathy or help. Everyone is telling me to go to the dr and take anti sickness medication but the thought of that is petrifying me as I don’t want to take any medications. If anything happened to the baby I couldn’t ever forgive myself. Pregnancy is HARD! It’s so refreshing to listen to someone talk about it in an open and honest way 👏🏻
I get it. My HG was that bad initially, from about 6-22 weeks. I couldn’t function, needed hospitalisation etc. It was that bad that it really made me question everything, despite mine being a very much wanted and planned pregnancy. I found only a small but useful handful of YT videos addressing this. So I am so glad you’re talking about it more. Gratefully, I came out the other side and I was able to enjoy pregnancy. So I’d never judge someone’s experience in pregnancy, just give grace for all experiences ❤
I am so sorry that you had to go through this during a time that should be full of joy. You're amazing Bryony! I had an appointment with my midwife the other day (finishing my 17th week now), she had me fill out a form checking if I show any signs of depression. We spoke then about the mental health and I told her that I am really lucky considering that I actually feel a lot better mentally than before pregnancy - I got a lot calmer, more confident and any anxious thoughts I used to have before pregnancy have disappeared. Fascinating how it can go both directions.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I’m having a challenging pregnancy myself as I suffer from Hyperemesis Gravidarum and the vomiting is going to last throughout the pregnancy. I haven’t experienced depression right now but I have in the past so I want to tell you you are an absolute warrior for getting through that and getting the help you needed ❤ hugs!!
Oh, Bryony. Thank you so so so much for sharing all of this, I know how hard it is to talk about. You should not feel guilty at all for having these thoughts or feelings (and it sounds like you know that). The shame people put on parents and expecting parents for not enjoying every single second is intense, and makes us ALL feel like failures at some point. You have my deepest sympathy and support. So many people don't realise how hard pregnancy can be. The nausea you've described is awful - it's not a case of getting up in the morning, vomiting, and then getting on with your day. It is UNRELENTING and makes you unable to function. And feeling so sick makes eating virtually impossible, which just exacerbates the fatigue. I'm so sorry you experienced all of this. The paranoia sounds so extreme that I wonder if you had a certain level of psychosis. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been. You're on the home stretch now, and I know you will be an absolutely amazing mum to baby boy, and any future children you have (by any means). Thank you so much for sharing this so others can feel not to alone ❤️
I felt this same way in the early weeks and had a termination because my dr said the same to me (refused medication) 😢.. I felt so alone and couldn’t deal with the constant nausea. Regret it. Hearing you say the same experience made me feel not so terrible for feeling this too. Thank you ❤
It’s really really brave of you to admit these thoughts and feelings to the medical professionals so that you could get help and then even braver to be so honest with us. Like I genuinely can’t believe how brave you are with being honest! We shouldn’t be ashamed of mental health because it’s not our fault and not something we can choose and control.
Bryony, I started my journey to smbc a few weeks after you. Sadly I have yet to get pregnant as I’ve had several failed transfers. At the moment I’m doing treatment and but I too have been dealing with mental health. And I’m so happy that you are speaking up regarding it. Not everybody talks about it. As you mentioned social media has glorified, and quite frankly painted it to be something completely different from what it is. Yes some may have an enjoyable journey but others not so much. I can’t wait to see you flourish into motherhood and see your experience post partum. Praying for a safe and quick delivery 🙏🏽.
Thank you for telling your story. I'm sure this will help other women who feel the same. I think there's so much pressure on people to be the perfect parent, have a perfect pregnancy, and it's just not the case that things are all rosy for everyone x
I'm really sorry you've been struggling so much through your pregnancy Bryony, but you are so brave in your honesty (because we know people can be so horrifically judgemental) and I'm certain you will be helping many other women. Thank you for your commitment to sharing your experiences with the world. Sending you love ❤
I was so lucky with my GP. His wife was pregnant at the same time as me, both with our first and we actually had the same OBGYN. So everything I brought up feeling wise (mentally and physically) he was either experiencing with his wife or he had recently researched it in preparation of possibly experiencing it with his wife. He was also so helpful with breastfeeding after and supporting that as much as he could.
Even as someone who does not want kids (I had my tubes removed last Sept.) I really appreciate this video and hearing about your experience. I am someone who has dealt with anxiety, depression, and panic and it is so important and empowering to share these experiences.
I was pregnant back in 2017. We had a mess up and I got knocked up. Completely our fault. Anywho, I was 4 weeks when I found out. I got so sick. I could not keep anything down. Not even water. Finally found a clinic and had an abortion at 8 weeks 1 day. I lost over 50 pounds in a month. For those who want children and who've been that severely sick with their pregnancy.... I salute you. You are a stronger person than I. Sending love and light to all you mamas and mamas to be, sincerely a childfree woman who had a small taste of that severe nausea and sickness.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Whilst I know you're being really supportive by saying that the women who struggled throughout their pregnancies are stronger than you I hope you know that your decision doesn't make you weak. You have a strength all of your own for getting through in the right way for you 💛
Make sure you have a solid plan for after birth. I had a baby who refused to sleep and I had postpartum anxiety and depression. I was getting no restful sleep for many months. Meds, help, postpartum doulas are an option. Once you add crippling exhaustion to the list of issues your brain can really do a number on you. You don't want to fall into postpartum psychosis.
Oh Bryony I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this, it must have been so scary. I've never been or plan to be pregnant but have Bipolar Disorder and could relate to a lot of what you were saying about the mood dips and paranoid thoughts. It's so hard to articulate the things that don't make sense to others but somehow you managed to talk through it so eloquently and that's honestly amazing. I'm in awe of your strength. In doing this video you have been so brave and helped others going through similar experiences. Wishing you all the best going forward xx
Thank you for this video. I’m not pregnant and I have never been pregnant, but as someone who would love to be a mother one day & someone who struggles with mental health, this video is valuable. Thank you for sharing your experience!
Wow, how amazingly kind of you to share your experience so openly! Given how tough an experience it's been for you and the stigmas you mentioned in the video it must have been very hard, but I have no doubts at all that it will help many many people going through similar experiences in the future; in particular your willingness to share the particular intrusive and depression driven thoughts that you had because intrusive thoughts like that can feel so isolating, like you must be "bad" because noone else mentions them, you sharing them will be invaluable for anyone feeling the same. I'm so glad that your mental health has improved so much and that you've been able to access support that's really helped and that you know you can rely on going forward if needed.
Gaawd that doctor who didn't want to help you makes me soooo angry! Thankfully I had a saint of a GP who immidiately gave me time off from work, sent me for an early ultrasound to rule out twins and prescribed meds. I felt so seen and heard and that was so incredibly important. And my GP and the ultrasound gyn was very adamant that it didn't matter -what- I ate if I could just eat something. They told me soda and ice-cream is an excellent diet over no food. So sorry you experienced that at such a vulnerable time in your life
I think this highlights the importance of attending mothers group and pregnancy groups. Speaking in person and having leaders in the group with medical backgrounds speak of this and can provide assistance and advice. Same as speaking with women with women going through things at the same time as you.
I am currently pregnant and had to get off my antidepressant as a result. With it (+ therapy of course) I was stable and fine for many years. I feel that I am losing that stability right now…I still go to therapy weekly but my „happy pill“ was the filter I needed to cope with reality. And now that winter is coming I‘m kind of terrified of myself.
I'm so grateful that you're being so open about what you've gone through. There are endless rosy portrayals of pregnancy in the media and a habit of ignoring or disregarding the negative or difficult experiences some people have. Thank you for normalizing your struggles. I hope your post-natal experience is smooth and easy.
Thank you so much for making this video. My experience has not been as intense as yours, I have not considered suicide. But I can relate to feeling like it might be a good thing if I go to the scan and the baby is dead. I was horrified at myself as this baby is a planned baby and I’m with a wonderful supportive partner and in a good situation. My partner tries to be supportive but I’m usually such a strong person that i feel like he’s super concerned that I’m acting so differently. I feel ungrateful as many pregnant women are in much worse situations than me and are so happy about being pregnant. I’m seeing a therapist next week so hopeful that it will help.
Thank you for sharing so much, and thank you for bringing awareness and for helping to normalize these things and fight shame and taboo. Humans need to connect, humans need to know what's normal, and have support
Dear Bryone, you are doing such an amasing work sharing all these with so brilliant honesty, the world really needs that all this mental stuff to be told so straight. I felt so much compassion for you while listening to your story. And now I hope you`ll meet minimal troubles on your further way!
I've seen a few comments about people expressing their discomfort with some of the points she brought up in the video, and kind of shaming her for it. So I just want to say, clearly she wasn't thrilled to be having those thoughts anyway, it wasn't for fun, so what's the point of those comments? This is what her mind was doing when she was at her lowest points, she has no control over that, she's being honest in hopes it will help others going through similar things. That's why she's sharing this experience and highlighting the importance of seeking support and help. If it makes you uncomfortable, so what? This video isn't for you, so don't watch it. But some people will need to hear it, so good on her for not censoring things.
I love that you are being so open and honest. I had HG with all my pregnancies. I also had very big babies (10lb). I felt so horrible that I hated being pregnant with my children because all my friends said it wasn't that bad for them or they loved it. I absolutely hated it. I lost so much weight I was so sick. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story, it must have been incredibly difficult but you did amazingly. I am a midwife and I often speak to my clients about antenatal depression and now I will have a video to point them to. Your candour and honesty fill me with admiration, thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Bryony. I have never been pregnant (though I am hoping to be in the next few years) and I'm terrified about it. I have dealt with quite severe suicidal ideation in my teenage years and the idea of going through that while building another human I desperately want is so so scary to me. None of the thoughts I had when I was sick make any sense to me now and I'm scared I would go through that again and make a mistake. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your experience - I appreciate hearing your perspective with pregnancy and I am so glad to hear that you are doing better. I cannot imagine how scary those thoughts must have been. I am grateful that more women are speaking out about their difficult pregnancies, young women thinking about becoming pregnant need to know that it isn't sunshine and roses for everyone or every pregnancy. ❤️
I hope you know that this video will save a lot of women from suffering in silence. It’s unreal how we can be at the mercy of our own minds and I wholeheartedly believe that it’s important to share this.
Good bless you! I had HG with my first it was like living on the bathroom floor. Pregnancy can be hard, you are going to be a blessing to so many. Thank you for helping other women know a happy easy pregnancy isn’t the only normal option. It is normal for pregnancy to be hard to.
You have such maturity and strength, Bryony. I am very happily CF but I think an important part of that is understanding what different journeys of motherhood/parenthood can look like.
Please please please also take this into consideration when you give birth, the 'rush of love' everyone talks about does not happen for everyone, I didn't feel this for at least 2 weeks after having my daughter. Don't put any pressure on yourself to feel anything, especially if you have quite a traumatic birth. I hope everything is absolutely fine and you never experience anything like this again. I have had mental health struggles previous to pregnancy (anxiety/depression), was fine during pregnancy, fine after birth. My daughter is now 6 months and I can feel the anxiety and depression creeping back in and its awful ❤❤
I always so appreciate the effort you seem to put in to be frank and honest and clear and forthright. Even when it's subjects and topics that are not relevant to me, I continue to appreciate so much both the amount of information that you are always offering your audience, that can be very hard to come by in other places, and also the Frank and unvarnished assessment of experience that you talk about. As you address in different parts of this video, it can be just as damaging to not understand that what you're going through is something that other people go through, as the actual like physical ailment itself is in the first place. The ignorance and secrecy and facades around "women's health" are as dangerous to folks' well-being as the actual like areas of these fields that are poorly understood and understudied at this time are. Thank you for putting this out here. I very much appreciate what you do. And I wish you all the luck and strength and support that you need moving forward. 💚
So brave of you to share your story! I worry about you postpartum. Hormones are harsh after the baby and having a baby without a partner would be hard…that alone could trigger. I pray you’re ok and your baby boy is ok. Pls reach out immediately, if you feel depressed or anxious postpartum. I am speaking from experience and I was medicated or I would have landed in the hospital. You’re going to be a wonderful mom and no feelings are your fault. Best wishes to you ♥️
Bryony you are incredible. Putting yourself out here like this is so incredible to see. Talking on topics that are such taboo topics is not only incredibly brave but so important for other people to know theyre not alone. Im not pregnant, am not planning on it anytime soon but misscarried in 2021. Having struggled with mental health previously and my prior experiences im worried abput how ill cope with my mental health when i do decide to have kids. This video has taught me that help is available about there. It is so easy to feel alone in these expierences but youve shown me and others how important it is to advocate for yourself. You should be incredibly proud about how you have dealt with this all.
As someone who chose a hysterectomy before I had a chance to have kids (struggling with my mental health too much to wait till 1. financial stability and 2. to see whether or not I was infertile (never tested my fertility, I don't wanna know) and definitely mourned my choice for a hysterectomy) -please don't tell depressed pregnant people that they are lucky in comparison to me. These two experiences are entirely different and not comparable.
Thank you for sharing your story. I had never heard anyone talk about prenatal depression. I think that this video will be very helpful to a lot of people ❤
This is such a great series & this episode, wow, eye opener to what some women go through. As a Mum of 3 grown kids & 2 grandchildren I feel very blessed that I never suffered like this. I had the sickness with all 3 but never mental health issues. I've been working my way through your solo mum videos & I'm just so pleased that you are now doing so well with your little boy. I know that this series is going to be so valuable to so many. Thank you for being so open & honest. Congratulations on your gorgeous son.
This is extremely brave. I commend you. I’ve been a silent watcher for years. But I relate on immense levels. I’m so sorry you went through this. I hope you’re doing okay ❤
Thank you for sharing your experience, this video will help a lot of people. I’m 29 weeks pregnant and pregnancy has been a lot more difficult than I expected, especially emotionally
I was upset my second was a boy until after his birth. To the point I wouldn’t pick a name because I hoped they were wrong. He was 3 days old when I finally picked his name. My first was a girl so there was no worry of missing out on that side either. I absolutely love him now, but the gender disappointment was very real and hard for me to overcome. These things aren’t talked about enough and shouldn’t be shamed, but rather supported. I’m happy you’re able to work through your pregnancy. I wish I had recognized when I would have benefited from help while I was pregnant.
I am just as far along as you are. And especially in the first trimester I was very depressed, anxious and sick. My midwife warned me at my first appointment that, because I already struggled with depression before pregnancy, it would be wise to seek help immediately just to be sure there would be help when my mental health took a nosedive. I did this, kind of, and now I am well taken care of and I know that if there are mental health struggles I will be first in line to get help. But the depression in the first trimester did leave me with some broken relationships and friendships. Especially my relationship with my sister in law. She did not understand me, and how I felt, eventhough she was pregnant also... it left me hurt and we're still kind of mending this relationship.
Thank you for sharing your experiences Bryony. It must be so hard to talk so openly about it, but it is so valuable for other pregnant women to be aware of. Its also great to know there is support available for antenatal depression. Sharing your story will help people recognise the symptoms earlier and reach out for the help they need.
I battled so battle with Hg for 25 weeks, I definitely felt like being alive was too much to bear if I was going to continue being this ill. Medication only helped me really minimally. I can say now that my son is 2 I love him more than anything. We bonded really easily once he was born. But I will never get pregnant again. I can never go through that again.
Bree, I'm SO INVESTED in this and I have to go to PT at this exact moment so I can't finish this right now... I WILL BE BACK TO FINISH THIS! I'M SO VERY SORRY YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS!!
Ok, I'm back and have finished the video. Bree, my heart goes out to you with all that you struggled with and endured during this pregnancy! I'm so glad you're doing better and have found the help you've needed! You're such an inspiration to have posted some of these really hard episodes and your feelings during those times so others can know they're not alone and hopefully help them to realize if they need help! I truly hate that this pregnancy hasn't been what you envisioned pregnancy would be for you! I know it doesn't matter to you really, but I'm so very proud of you for all that you've done for yourself and so happy that you've continued on this journey of pregnancy even though it's been very unpleasant! My hope is that when your baby boy is born, you're able to bond with him and feel a wonderful connection that completely wipes away the fears and anxiety that can also come with the birth and months after! However, if this doesn't happen right away, you know know that this can be a normal reaction and hopefully you can advocate for yourself again to seek out the help needed! I'm here for your videos forever and have been here for years and years! You're doing great things and I'm just proud of you! Sending love!
The whole ‘you should be grateful’ thing is like telling someone who’s been in a car crash to be grateful because some people deeply want a car. Just silly. Pregnancy is intense.
Oh please, that’s nothing alike. She SHOULD be grateful, regardless of how intense pregnancy is. You can have an “intense” pregnancy and still be grateful. The problem w your little analogy, is that you compared a material item that you can buy an unlimited number of, to a CHILD. Some women struggle for YEARS to have a baby. Comparing a baby to a wrecked car is ridiculous and offensive. Furthermore, anyone who survives a car crash should be grateful, too! Really, really stupid comparison.
@@Badfishtooo the comparison is a medically difficult pregnancy and a car crash. I did not mention a baby. You seem to have gotten so emotional as to have lost your intellect. I think you need to go calm down or touch grass before you write any more raging comments. Furthermore, if you can’t be supportive of Bryony then maybe get off her channel and do something that makes you happy.
@@Badfishtooothe emotional turmoil and depression I felt thinking I wouldn’t be able to have children nearly killed me. I just couldn’t get my head around never being a mother, I thought I’d rather die than live my whole life without ever having children. I cried at the sight of newborns, spoke to a therapist about how to cope being childless and researched adoption and surrogacy for years. Now I have unexpectedly fallen pregnant, thinking it couldn’t happen. People think the worry over being pregnant is just fear over birth, pain and sleepless nights, whilst knowing it’ll all be worth it. It’s not going that way for me. I wake up at 4am unable to breath having a panic attack and end up in hysterical tears whilst my partner tries everything to calm me down. I’m getting depressed and sometimes tell him I don’t want to wake up the next day. I wasn’t expecting any of these feelings at all. The thing is, being ‘grateful’ doesn’t make depression or hormones disappear. All I want is to be a mum but I just had no idea how bad depression can get during pregnancy. You clearly have no idea what it feels like and live in this cute fantasy world of ‘as long as I have a baby I will be happy’ No matter how strong the urge is to have a baby, you can still get extremely depressed and trust me it comes completely out of the blue. I’m supposed to be overwhelmed with happiness after finally being pregnant with what feels like a miracle baby, but most the time I just wonder how I’ll cope after months of depression and feel like I’m losing my mind. Don’t judge unless you’ve gone through it because this crazy and cruel crap you’ve written on here just makes people who ARE actually going through this just feel more confused.
@@Badfishtoooit’s strange how the only videos you comment on are pregnancy videos, yet you come to the comments to write vile comments about something you’ve never even been through yourself. Please do tell me what war is like from fluffy bedroom in your mums house whilst you’re at it 😂
I am an avid mental health awareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my RUclips channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💚💚
Thank you for being so honest. There’s not enough people open enough about the realities of their experience and they’re too afraid to talk about it. Really delighted to hear you’re doing well now
Thank you so much for being totally honest. I’m in such a bad spiral and place and feel utterly alone, crazy, awful, guilty, shameful and suicidal and can’t think of anyone to talk to about it… so I just googled the topic and found you… I’m already feeling less alone and less of a “bad person”… I wish everyone was so open instead of this picture perfect social media world we live in.
As someone who hasn't ever been pregnant but has had significant mental illness, it's really useful to know the support and experience you've had with perinatal mental health problems. I do eventually want to have a baby, but I've been very worried about being judged in pregnancy or not getting the right support. It's really helpful to know that the support is there, especially if you have more significant mental ill health. I think it's really important for doctors to be less reluctant than they are to prescribe antidepressants, they can be massively helpful.
Briony, you are absolutely not alone in this experience. I felt so much of this in my first pregnancy. It was the scariest mental health time in my life, and I had no idea this was something that could happen in pregnancy. Thank you for sharing and helping me feel less alone ❤️ Glad you're doing better now
I’m almost 20 weeks into my second hyperemesis pregnancy and feeling sick constantly is so hard. I have one wonderful toddler and obviously will have another precious baby soon but I hate being pregnant. I absolutely hate it. I LOVE my kids. I do not like being pregnant. I’m grateful to be able to have kids but that doesn’t change how miserable being pregnant is for me.
Thank you for this video. You are so lucky to live in the UK with those supports. (I'm in the US ). I haven't experienced this as we've adopted our kiddos but this is so important to get out and show that people do feel this way.
I really appreciate this. I'm on my second pregnancy and both have been relatively easy for me with minor annoyance symptoms. But I have a friend with Hyperemesis who needs medication and my sister-in-law has had awful nausea and fatigue making work almost impossible. It's so eye opening to hear about the things other women experience. 💕
Listening to all of this was kind of brutal. I can't say I didn't judge you for some of the things you said in this video, however then I started thinking how valuable all of this is. Pregnancy is more often than not painted in rose colored lenses and any negative feeling about it is taboo. I think people being honest about their experiences help others who haven't decided if pregnancy and parenthood is for them or not. In my case I'm 27 and always knew that I didn't wanted to go through pregnancy or raise kids. Thank you for sharing this very vulnerable and sensitive experience for helping others who might be in a similar position.
Bryony, you are so brave for sharing the details of your mental health struggles through pregnancy. I'm sure many women struggling with pregnancy will find this video helpful. I wish you the very best for the remaining weeks of your pregnancy and I am very pleased to hear you are now in a better place, I hope your mental health continues to remain in a better place. Xx
Oh my GOSH, thank you for being so raw, I needed this so so much. My pregnancy is nothing like I thought it will be, nausea, piles, fainting, PGP, UTI, insomnia, mental health prior to pregnancy and now....
You are really amazing for sharing this so openly and honestly. You are setting a great example. I had a smooth pregnancy mostly, I did have the all day nausea but vitamin b6 and unisom combo every night helped. But intrusive thoughts after my baby was born were absolutely terrible and triggered sheer panic in me. You are so right when you said there’s a fear to speak out because you think they’ll take the baby from you, I felt that way. I didn’t get help for that, I reached out but never got a response (in the US), but once I went on the internet and knew what I was experiencing had a name, they almost stopped immediately.
Your honesty is breaking barriers. When I was pregnant, two decades ago, women felt like you are, but never admitted it. I’m so glad we’re finally having these conversations!
You are a warrior Bryony. Making yourself this vulnerable about an EXTREMELY taboo subject is incredibly brave. Your son is so lucky to have you as his momma ❤️
Bryony you have no idea how this has healed me. I had the Same experience in pregnancy and whilst I adore my son now and mercifully it all went away when I brought him home, I carried that guilt with me over those thoughts ever since and hearing someone share them out loud and almost reassure how common they are and how they don’t at all correlate to the type of mother you’ll be is incredible. Thank you for sharing. ❤
This is so important. I was so depressed I was suicidal when I was pregnant. The hormones and feeling like I wasn't myself just did something to me that was extremely traumatizing. It also was right at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic so I know the sense of isolation didn't help. Thank you for being brave enough to tell your story!
I didn’t tell anyone at the time. But I wanted to die when I was pregnant. I had HG ( hyperemesis gravidarum ). From 4 weeks to 37 weeks, when I gave birth. I really wanted to give up on life. I’m so glad I made it through. Crazy to say, I will do it all over again for my baby girl. 💚
Mental Illness certainly does not discriminate.
I'm so happy that you're being realistic for us online. Too many people try to just be that 'famous mama' and hide the struggles they may have.
Thank you for this video.
My husband and I struggled to get pregnant and when I finally got pregnant with our little miracle baby I was experiencing severe morning sickness and fatigue in my first trimester. I felt sick 24/7 and felt exhausted.
It made me feel really depressed at a time I thought I would beam with joy.
I also had a horrible birthing experience due to a incompetent midwife which lead to a postnatal depression. Unfortunately I didn’t get help and struggled for years.
I feel better now and I’m grateful for people like you that are open about this topic.
Bryony, I don’t know if you truly understand what you have just done. This video will change the course of events for so many families. So many of us have experienced what you speak of here and it’s terrifying. The isolation you feel, just within yourself is like a prison. Your candor brings me to tears. I remember these feeling so well. It’s been 12 years sense that first pregnancy for me and I just want to hug that young woman. Bless your heart for this ❤ Yet again, you have started a conversation that is necessary and breaking a taboo. So much love from the US 💜
I believe that Colleen Ballinger has expressed similar feelings from her pregnancies. You’re not alone
She has been quite open about her struggles with pregnancy, look her up on RUclips if you have not already. She is actually the reason I knew I was depressed during my pregnancy, I had no idea it was a thing until she shared her story.
This is true
@@leonidasreviews2912 which video specifically? She has so many 😫 I'm just scrolling through her channel trying to figure it out.
I remember thinking I was the worst woman in the world crying over the toilet in early pregnancy because I thought there was no was I could get to the other side of the morning sickness. I couldn't understand how other women experienced and copped with sickness that severe, I now know I had HG, but at the time I felt like a failure for not being able to cope. Thank you for sharing that these feelings are normal in pregnancy
So much this! I was pregnant with my daughter 21 years ago. I considered abortion, because I was so sick with HG from 6 weeks until I gave birth. I remember one particular night in my second trimester I was hunched over the toilet getting violently sick and the strain of retching made me urinate all over myself. I called my mom and just sobbed and sobbed. The doctors and nurses treated me like it was my fault. Like I had a weak stomach and they told me to drink Gatorade and wear sea sickness wristbands. The constant sickness left me largely housebound, because I had horrible anxiety of throwing up in public. Nobody talks about how utterly despaired chronic morning sickness can make someone feel.
I've had 7* losses (I'm diagnosed clinically infertile) and I could NEVER expect anyone to "just be happy" because someone else has "been through worse"... Your experience is real and it has real life effects! Sending you all my love and strength 💖💕💕💕 and thank you for talking about this, people need to see different types of stories because not all pregnancys are peachy.
*Edited* idk why my phone changed the number!?
I struggled with antenatal depression in my last pregnancy. It was pretty severe, but unfortunatelly went unnoticed. My first pregnancy ended in a still birth and I always struggle during the cold months, so everyone thought, it just had to be a combination of the two. Plus, I masked it really well to the outside.
I realised how bad it really was, when I started to tackle my overall mental health problems a year later. Up to that point, I didn't even know, antenatal depression was a thing. I'm horrofied when I think back to some dark moments during the pregnancy. I had suicidal thoughts and the only thing that kept me going, was the fact, that the baby would die with me and I did not want that.
I am so thankful that you made this video, because if just one struggling pregnant person feels less alone because of it and gets help, that would be a huge win. So, thank you, thank you very, very much for beeing a voice and a light.
I am 20 years old and not pregnant, but I really enjoy your videos and I’m grateful for your honesty. Thank you for sharing your experience -it takes a lot of guts to open up like this. I can relate because I struggle with multiple mental illnesses and suffer with a lot of the symptoms you described every day. My heart really goes out to you. It is so hard to get yourself out of a place like that, and I don’t know you personally, but I feel really proud of you and I hope you feel proud of yourself too ❤️❤️
I've never heard of a single case of anybody having an abortion because of severe prenatal depression and that's what happened to me. I regret it a lot, especially now seeing that so many women struggle with the same things throughout pregnancy but still find strength to continue. There's no way back ofc, I can only hope for another healthy pregnancy and strengths to go through it mentally. I wish I found this video and these comments earlier. It's so true that nobody is talking about this...
Bryony you're AMAZING!!!! and so strong!!! Thank you so much for sharing this story!! we really need to normalize everything we women go through!! Advocating for yourself at the doctor is so important! and how u managed to get this far is just commendable!! I'm soo proud to be a long term subscriber and supporter! hopefully baby comes out safely and I wish you a very peaceful delivery!
I swear I can’t get over how surreal it is to hear you talk about the same feelings I have right now. I used to watch you when I was little and now I’m 19 and 35wks pregnant and struggling mentally. You’ve literally been there for me all of middle school and now pregnancy too it’s surreal❤
Please STRONGLY consider going on a med by 36 weeks to prevent severe post partum psychosis. You are at large risk. So glad you’ve been seeking out care . ( OB family here)
Shes actually at no more risk than the general population.
@Nyon Pyon you are twice as likely to have post partum mental health issues if you have previously had mental health issues, either before or during pregnancy
Would it affect the baby at 36 weeks?
@@nyonpyon8099 depression increases the chances of having post partum psychosis at any point of your life, dude! But I'm glad she's super happy now that her baby is out of the womb
@@nyonpyon8099depends on her family history as well.
But no they don’t start medication at 36 weeks imo.
Thank you SO much for such a raw video on your experiences. Mental health, depression and especially psychosis in pregnancy are so taboo and your experiences are so valuable in normalising the discussion.
People don't understand the effect pregnancy can have on the mind. They hear mother's stories (peri or post) of experiencing suicidality, psychosis, intrusive thoughts of harming their child etc and think it makes them a bad mother. Mothers going through this don't ACTUALLY want to harm their babies, but people can't understand this!
I hope this becomes a more normalised discussion and mother's aren't made to feel guilty about a very common experience ❤
Your honesty is so admirable. Your strength to overcome the horrors your mind and body has been through is incredible. I love hearing how dedicated you are to use what you have learnt in therapy to cope with potential mental issue in the future is really encouraging. Just to hear that we aren't hopeless to mental illness but can still believe in ourselves to get through it. You got this!
People need to talk about this side of pregnancy more because it’s all too real and it’s all so dangerous. Thank you for speaking out about it, you are so strong ❤
Thank you for this. You are helping many feel not so alone in their struggles, and that’s so important. I’m sorry you didn’t have this magical pregnancy that’s always shown. But what you are doing is magical, you are showing a side of pregnancy that many go through and it needs to be spoken about more openly. Thank you again. Remember how strong you are fighting your mental battles, you will be a strong mom. 😊
We have very similar stories. This has really really helped me. Currently 20 weeks. Thank you - from both of us.
Thank you for sharing this! It's an important reminder that the snippets you see all over social media aren't representative of how an individual might experience pregnancy. When I was pregnant, I was so nauseous and was having joint pain that made day to day tasks SO difficult. I remember a friend coming up to me and saying, "Wow, you look so great! I'm so happy this has been such an easy pregnancy for you!" And I just started crying because how I looked was so far removed from how I felt.
I am in the US and I also experienced antenatal depression and anxiety. I got referred to a therapist to avoid medication, and the therapist said she really didn't understand why I was there bc "depression happens after the baby is born". I was so lost and feeling like I was the odd man put and alone. It is sad that women have to experience this. My heart goes out to you.
I'm sorry that that therapist didn't validate what you were going through. You deserved better. I'm glad you made it through.
Yes! I experienced depression throughout my entire first pregnancy and it was the most difficult experience I've ever been through because I felt like my baby deserved better and that I didn't deserve to be pregnant. I'd never heard of anyone feeling the way I felt in pregnancy, because it's so taboo. And friends and family were baffled by it. Such an important thing to talk about, thank you so much for sharing something so difficult and sensitive.
How are you and the baby doing now? i feel the same way
WOW this is amazing! You should honestly be so proud of yourself for being so openly honest. I hope this video finds someone who really needs it ❤
Thank you for raising this very important subject. It’s so important to know that you are never alone and help and support is out there ❤
What you’ve described was my pregnancy to a tee. I remember joining a mum group and every time someone posted about having a miscarriage I was overwhelmed with jealousy. How wild is that. This was a very wanted baby but that’s how sick I became mentally.
Dito.... I even laugh about miscarriage... Because of jealousy. Only when I am pregnant... Outside of my pregnancies I see it with different eyes. Now I am pregnant again, for the third time and I really need to pay attention to not to do any sh!t to harm me n the baby. Even if I am in week 38 now, I can't stop thinking of abortion, miscarriage and even adoption. On the other hand I know that I will be happy when I see the baby when I will feel better some hours after giving birth.
I love that you have posted this video. Me and my husband have been trying to conceive for 8 and a half years. We have had 6 failed rounds of clomid and a failed ivf cycle. At Christmas I found out I am expecting a miracle baby naturally 😍 I am overwhelmed with joy and excitement, but the anxiety of something going wrong is horrific! I had the same thing as you where I was happy when I took the test, however it just felt almost natural and not like a fireworks feeling.
I currently don’t want to leave the house because I am petrified of bleeding and not being able to check if I am when I’m out. On top of that I am feeling/being extremely sick 24/7 at the moment and so I feel so miserable. Everyone expects me to be just full of joy and excited but currently I just can’t get up off the sofa. People keep asking me how I am, and when I say I’m sick, they say “that’s a good sign” and there is no sympathy or help. Everyone is telling me to go to the dr and take anti sickness medication but the thought of that is petrifying me as I don’t want to take any medications. If anything happened to the baby I couldn’t ever forgive myself.
Pregnancy is HARD! It’s so refreshing to listen to someone talk about it in an open and honest way 👏🏻
I get it. My HG was that bad initially, from about 6-22 weeks. I couldn’t function, needed hospitalisation etc. It was that bad that it really made me question everything, despite mine being a very much wanted and planned pregnancy. I found only a small but useful handful of YT videos addressing this. So I am so glad you’re talking about it more. Gratefully, I came out the other side and I was able to enjoy pregnancy. So I’d never judge someone’s experience in pregnancy, just give grace for all experiences ❤
I am so sorry that you had to go through this during a time that should be full of joy. You're amazing Bryony!
I had an appointment with my midwife the other day (finishing my 17th week now), she had me fill out a form checking if I show any signs of depression. We spoke then about the mental health and I told her that I am really lucky considering that I actually feel a lot better mentally than before pregnancy - I got a lot calmer, more confident and any anxious thoughts I used to have before pregnancy have disappeared. Fascinating how it can go both directions.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I’m having a challenging pregnancy myself as I suffer from Hyperemesis Gravidarum and the vomiting is going to last throughout the pregnancy. I haven’t experienced depression right now but I have in the past so I want to tell you you are an absolute warrior for getting through that and getting the help you needed ❤ hugs!!
Oh, Bryony. Thank you so so so much for sharing all of this, I know how hard it is to talk about. You should not feel guilty at all for having these thoughts or feelings (and it sounds like you know that). The shame people put on parents and expecting parents for not enjoying every single second is intense, and makes us ALL feel like failures at some point. You have my deepest sympathy and support.
So many people don't realise how hard pregnancy can be. The nausea you've described is awful - it's not a case of getting up in the morning, vomiting, and then getting on with your day. It is UNRELENTING and makes you unable to function. And feeling so sick makes eating virtually impossible, which just exacerbates the fatigue.
I'm so sorry you experienced all of this. The paranoia sounds so extreme that I wonder if you had a certain level of psychosis. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been.
You're on the home stretch now, and I know you will be an absolutely amazing mum to baby boy, and any future children you have (by any means). Thank you so much for sharing this so others can feel not to alone ❤️
I felt this same way in the early weeks and had a termination because my dr said the same to me (refused medication) 😢.. I felt so alone and couldn’t deal with the constant nausea. Regret it. Hearing you say the same experience made me feel not so terrible for feeling this too. Thank you ❤
It’s really really brave of you to admit these thoughts and feelings to the medical professionals so that you could get help and then even braver to be so honest with us. Like I genuinely can’t believe how brave you are with being honest! We shouldn’t be ashamed of mental health because it’s not our fault and not something we can choose and control.
Bryony, I started my journey to smbc a few weeks after you. Sadly I have yet to get pregnant as I’ve had several failed transfers. At the moment I’m doing treatment and but I too have been dealing with mental health. And I’m so happy that you are speaking up regarding it. Not everybody talks about it. As you mentioned social media has glorified, and quite frankly painted it to be something completely different from what it is. Yes some may have an enjoyable journey but others not so much. I can’t wait to see you flourish into motherhood and see your experience post partum. Praying for a safe and quick delivery 🙏🏽.
Thank you for telling your story. I'm sure this will help other women who feel the same. I think there's so much pressure on people to be the perfect parent, have a perfect pregnancy, and it's just not the case that things are all rosy for everyone x
I'm really sorry you've been struggling so much through your pregnancy Bryony, but you are so brave in your honesty (because we know people can be so horrifically judgemental) and I'm certain you will be helping many other women. Thank you for your commitment to sharing your experiences with the world. Sending you love ❤
I was so lucky with my GP. His wife was pregnant at the same time as me, both with our first and we actually had the same OBGYN. So everything I brought up feeling wise (mentally and physically) he was either experiencing with his wife or he had recently researched it in preparation of possibly experiencing it with his wife.
He was also so helpful with breastfeeding after and supporting that as much as he could.
Even as someone who does not want kids (I had my tubes removed last Sept.) I really appreciate this video and hearing about your experience. I am someone who has dealt with anxiety, depression, and panic and it is so important and empowering to share these experiences.
I was pregnant back in 2017. We had a mess up and I got knocked up. Completely our fault. Anywho, I was 4 weeks when I found out. I got so sick. I could not keep anything down. Not even water. Finally found a clinic and had an abortion at 8 weeks 1 day. I lost over 50 pounds in a month.
For those who want children and who've been that severely sick with their pregnancy.... I salute you. You are a stronger person than I. Sending love and light to all you mamas and mamas to be, sincerely a childfree woman who had a small taste of that severe nausea and sickness.
Thank you for sharing your story with us too Celticluvr
Thank you for sharing your experience. Whilst I know you're being really supportive by saying that the women who struggled throughout their pregnancies are stronger than you I hope you know that your decision doesn't make you weak. You have a strength all of your own for getting through in the right way for you 💛
@@sarahelizabeth7547 Thank you ❤️
i am so grateful for your honesty and vulnerability to share these emotions bryney❤️
Make sure you have a solid plan for after birth. I had a baby who refused to sleep and I had postpartum anxiety and depression. I was getting no restful sleep for many months. Meds, help, postpartum doulas are an option. Once you add crippling exhaustion to the list of issues your brain can really do a number on you. You don't want to fall into postpartum psychosis.
Oh Bryony I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this, it must have been so scary. I've never been or plan to be pregnant but have Bipolar Disorder and could relate to a lot of what you were saying about the mood dips and paranoid thoughts. It's so hard to articulate the things that don't make sense to others but somehow you managed to talk through it so eloquently and that's honestly amazing. I'm in awe of your strength. In doing this video you have been so brave and helped others going through similar experiences. Wishing you all the best going forward xx
Thank you for this video. I’m not pregnant and I have never been pregnant, but as someone who would love to be a mother one day & someone who struggles with mental health, this video is valuable. Thank you for sharing your experience!
Thank you for the honesty it is very refreshing. The struggle is real right now and your honesty is therapeutic❤️
I don’t think I’ll ever want kids , but I like learning. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.
Wow, how amazingly kind of you to share your experience so openly! Given how tough an experience it's been for you and the stigmas you mentioned in the video it must have been very hard, but I have no doubts at all that it will help many many people going through similar experiences in the future; in particular your willingness to share the particular intrusive and depression driven thoughts that you had because intrusive thoughts like that can feel so isolating, like you must be "bad" because noone else mentions them, you sharing them will be invaluable for anyone feeling the same.
I'm so glad that your mental health has improved so much and that you've been able to access support that's really helped and that you know you can rely on going forward if needed.
Gaawd that doctor who didn't want to help you makes me soooo angry! Thankfully I had a saint of a GP who immidiately gave me time off from work, sent me for an early ultrasound to rule out twins and prescribed meds. I felt so seen and heard and that was so incredibly important. And my GP and the ultrasound gyn was very adamant that it didn't matter -what- I ate if I could just eat something. They told me soda and ice-cream is an excellent diet over no food.
So sorry you experienced that at such a vulnerable time in your life
I think this highlights the importance of attending mothers group and pregnancy groups. Speaking in person and having leaders in the group with medical backgrounds speak of this and can provide assistance and advice. Same as speaking with women with women going through things at the same time as you.
I am currently pregnant and had to get off my antidepressant as a result. With it (+ therapy of course) I was stable and fine for many years. I feel that I am losing that stability right now…I still go to therapy weekly but my „happy pill“ was the filter I needed to cope with reality. And now that winter is coming I‘m kind of terrified of myself.
I'm so grateful that you're being so open about what you've gone through. There are endless rosy portrayals of pregnancy in the media and a habit of ignoring or disregarding the negative or difficult experiences some people have. Thank you for normalizing your struggles. I hope your post-natal experience is smooth and easy.
Thank you so much for making this video. My experience has not been as intense as yours, I have not considered suicide. But I can relate to feeling like it might be a good thing if I go to the scan and the baby is dead. I was horrified at myself as this baby is a planned baby and I’m with a wonderful supportive partner and in a good situation. My partner tries to be supportive but I’m usually such a strong person that i feel like he’s super concerned that I’m acting so differently. I feel ungrateful as many pregnant women are in much worse situations than me and are so happy about being pregnant. I’m seeing a therapist next week so hopeful that it will help.
Thank you for sharing so much, and thank you for bringing awareness and for helping to normalize these things and fight shame and taboo. Humans need to connect, humans need to know what's normal, and have support
Dear Bryone, you are doing such an amasing work sharing all these with so brilliant honesty, the world really needs that all this mental stuff to be told so straight. I felt so much compassion for you while listening to your story. And now I hope you`ll meet minimal troubles on your further way!
I've seen a few comments about people expressing their discomfort with some of the points she brought up in the video, and kind of shaming her for it. So I just want to say, clearly she wasn't thrilled to be having those thoughts anyway, it wasn't for fun, so what's the point of those comments? This is what her mind was doing when she was at her lowest points, she has no control over that, she's being honest in hopes it will help others going through similar things. That's why she's sharing this experience and highlighting the importance of seeking support and help. If it makes you uncomfortable, so what? This video isn't for you, so don't watch it. But some people will need to hear it, so good on her for not censoring things.
I love that you are being so open and honest. I had HG with all my pregnancies. I also had very big babies (10lb). I felt so horrible that I hated being pregnant with my children because all my friends said it wasn't that bad for them or they loved it. I absolutely hated it. I lost so much weight I was so sick. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story, it must have been incredibly difficult but you did amazingly. I am a midwife and I often speak to my clients about antenatal depression and now I will have a video to point them to. Your candour and honesty fill me with admiration, thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Bryony. I have never been pregnant (though I am hoping to be in the next few years) and I'm terrified about it. I have dealt with quite severe suicidal ideation in my teenage years and the idea of going through that while building another human I desperately want is so so scary to me. None of the thoughts I had when I was sick make any sense to me now and I'm scared I would go through that again and make a mistake. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your experience - I appreciate hearing your perspective with pregnancy and I am so glad to hear that you are doing better. I cannot imagine how scary those thoughts must have been. I am grateful that more women are speaking out about their difficult pregnancies, young women thinking about becoming pregnant need to know that it isn't sunshine and roses for everyone or every pregnancy. ❤️
I hope you know that this video will save a lot of women from suffering in silence. It’s unreal how we can be at the mercy of our own minds and I wholeheartedly believe that it’s important to share this.
Good bless you!
I had HG with my first it was like living on the bathroom floor. Pregnancy can be hard, you are going to be a blessing to so many. Thank you for helping other women know a happy easy pregnancy isn’t the only normal option. It is normal for pregnancy to be hard to.
Very impressed with your eloquence, maturity and honesty :)
You have such maturity and strength, Bryony. I am very happily CF but I think an important part of that is understanding what different journeys of motherhood/parenthood can look like.
Please please please also take this into consideration when you give birth, the 'rush of love' everyone talks about does not happen for everyone, I didn't feel this for at least 2 weeks after having my daughter. Don't put any pressure on yourself to feel anything, especially if you have quite a traumatic birth. I hope everything is absolutely fine and you never experience anything like this again. I have had mental health struggles previous to pregnancy (anxiety/depression), was fine during pregnancy, fine after birth. My daughter is now 6 months and I can feel the anxiety and depression creeping back in and its awful ❤❤
very true. I didn't feel like I loved by baby til she was 5 months. I felt so guilty.
I always so appreciate the effort you seem to put in to be frank and honest and clear and forthright.
Even when it's subjects and topics that are not relevant to me, I continue to appreciate so much both the amount of information that you are always offering your audience, that can be very hard to come by in other places, and also the Frank and unvarnished assessment of experience that you talk about. As you address in different parts of this video, it can be just as damaging to not understand that what you're going through is something that other people go through, as the actual like physical ailment itself is in the first place.
The ignorance and secrecy and facades around "women's health" are as dangerous to folks' well-being as the actual like areas of these fields that are poorly understood and understudied at this time are.
Thank you for putting this out here. I very much appreciate what you do. And I wish you all the luck and strength and support that you need moving forward. 💚
So brave of you to share your story! I worry about you postpartum. Hormones are harsh after the baby and having a baby without a partner would be hard…that alone could trigger. I pray you’re ok and your baby boy is ok. Pls reach out immediately, if you feel depressed or anxious postpartum. I am speaking from experience and I was medicated or I would have landed in the hospital. You’re going to be a wonderful mom and no feelings are your fault. Best wishes to you ♥️
**also I had a baby boy and it’s the best!! Boys LOVE their mommy’s ♥️
Bryony you are incredible. Putting yourself out here like this is so incredible to see. Talking on topics that are such taboo topics is not only incredibly brave but so important for other people to know theyre not alone. Im not pregnant, am not planning on it anytime soon but misscarried in 2021. Having struggled with mental health previously and my prior experiences im worried abput how ill cope with my mental health when i do decide to have kids. This video has taught me that help is available about there. It is so easy to feel alone in these expierences but youve shown me and others how important it is to advocate for yourself. You should be incredibly proud about how you have dealt with this all.
As someone who chose a hysterectomy before I had a chance to have kids (struggling with my mental health too much to wait till 1. financial stability and 2. to see whether or not I was infertile (never tested my fertility, I don't wanna know) and definitely mourned my choice for a hysterectomy) -please don't tell depressed pregnant people that they are lucky in comparison to me. These two experiences are entirely different and not comparable.
Thank you for sharing your story. I had never heard anyone talk about prenatal depression. I think that this video will be very helpful to a lot of people ❤
This is such a great series & this episode, wow, eye opener to what some women go through. As a Mum of 3 grown kids & 2 grandchildren I feel very blessed that I never suffered like this. I had the sickness with all 3 but never mental health issues. I've been working my way through your solo mum videos & I'm just so pleased that you are now doing so well with your little boy. I know that this series is going to be so valuable to so many. Thank you for being so open & honest. Congratulations on your gorgeous son.
This is extremely brave. I commend you. I’ve been a silent watcher for years. But I relate on immense levels. I’m so sorry you went through this. I hope you’re doing okay ❤
Thank you for sharing with us, talking about your struggles during pregnancy is so helpful to normalize and make it less taboo for everyone.
Thank you so much for your emotional labor and time and energy making this video. I know it's going to save some people.
Thank you for sharing your experience, this video will help a lot of people. I’m 29 weeks pregnant and pregnancy has been a lot more difficult than I expected, especially emotionally
I was upset my second was a boy until after his birth. To the point I wouldn’t pick a name because I hoped they were wrong. He was 3 days old when I finally picked his name. My first was a girl so there was no worry of missing out on that side either. I absolutely love him now, but the gender disappointment was very real and hard for me to overcome. These things aren’t talked about enough and shouldn’t be shamed, but rather supported. I’m happy you’re able to work through your pregnancy. I wish I had recognized when I would have benefited from help while I was pregnant.
I can't express how helpful this video has been x
I am just as far along as you are. And especially in the first trimester I was very depressed, anxious and sick. My midwife warned me at my first appointment that, because I already struggled with depression before pregnancy, it would be wise to seek help immediately just to be sure there would be help when my mental health took a nosedive. I did this, kind of, and now I am well taken care of and I know that if there are mental health struggles I will be first in line to get help. But the depression in the first trimester did leave me with some broken relationships and friendships. Especially my relationship with my sister in law. She did not understand me, and how I felt, eventhough she was pregnant also... it left me hurt and we're still kind of mending this relationship.
I really appreciate your transparency in this video.
This is such an important video. Thank you so much for sharing Bryony!
Thank you for sharing your experiences Bryony. It must be so hard to talk so openly about it, but it is so valuable for other pregnant women to be aware of. Its also great to know there is support available for antenatal depression. Sharing your story will help people recognise the symptoms earlier and reach out for the help they need.
I battled so battle with Hg for 25 weeks, I definitely felt like being alive was too much to bear if I was going to continue being this ill. Medication only helped me really minimally. I can say now that my son is 2 I love him more than anything. We bonded really easily once he was born. But I will never get pregnant again. I can never go through that again.
Bree, I'm SO INVESTED in this and I have to go to PT at this exact moment so I can't finish this right now... I WILL BE BACK TO FINISH THIS!
I'M SO VERY SORRY YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS!!
Ok, I'm back and have finished the video. Bree, my heart goes out to you with all that you struggled with and endured during this pregnancy!
I'm so glad you're doing better and have found the help you've needed!
You're such an inspiration to have posted some of these really hard episodes and your feelings during those times so others can know they're not alone and hopefully help them to realize if they need help!
I truly hate that this pregnancy hasn't been what you envisioned pregnancy would be for you! I know it doesn't matter to you really, but I'm so very proud of you for all that you've done for yourself and so happy that you've continued on this journey of pregnancy even though it's been very unpleasant!
My hope is that when your baby boy is born, you're able to bond with him and feel a wonderful connection that completely wipes away the fears and anxiety that can also come with the birth and months after! However, if this doesn't happen right away, you know know that this can be a normal reaction and hopefully you can advocate for yourself again to seek out the help needed!
I'm here for your videos forever and have been here for years and years! You're doing great things and I'm just proud of you! Sending love!
Great video! I’m sure this video will be very helpful to many women who are struggling ❤
The whole ‘you should be grateful’ thing is like telling someone who’s been in a car crash to be grateful because some people deeply want a car. Just silly. Pregnancy is intense.
Oh please, that’s nothing alike. She SHOULD be grateful, regardless of how intense pregnancy is. You can have an “intense” pregnancy and still be grateful. The problem w your little analogy, is that you compared a material item that you can buy an unlimited number of, to a CHILD. Some women struggle for YEARS to have a baby. Comparing a baby to a wrecked car is ridiculous and offensive.
Furthermore, anyone who survives a car crash should be grateful, too! Really, really stupid comparison.
@@Badfishtooo the comparison is a medically difficult pregnancy and a car crash. I did not mention a baby. You seem to have gotten so emotional as to have lost your intellect. I think you need to go calm down or touch grass before you write any more raging comments. Furthermore, if you can’t be supportive of Bryony then maybe get off her channel and do something that makes you happy.
Sperm pets.
@@Badfishtooothe emotional turmoil and depression I felt thinking I wouldn’t be able to have children nearly killed me. I just couldn’t get my head around never being a mother, I thought I’d rather die than live my whole life without ever having children. I cried at the sight of newborns, spoke to a therapist about how to cope being childless and researched adoption and surrogacy for years.
Now I have unexpectedly fallen pregnant, thinking it couldn’t happen. People think the worry over being pregnant is just fear over birth, pain and sleepless nights, whilst knowing it’ll all be worth it. It’s not going that way for me.
I wake up at 4am unable to breath having a panic attack and end up in hysterical tears whilst my partner tries everything to calm me down. I’m getting depressed and sometimes tell him I don’t want to wake up the next day.
I wasn’t expecting any of these feelings at all. The thing is, being ‘grateful’ doesn’t make depression or hormones disappear. All I want is to be a mum but I just had no idea how bad depression can get during pregnancy.
You clearly have no idea what it feels like and live in this cute fantasy world of ‘as long as I have a baby I will be happy’
No matter how strong the urge is to have a baby, you can still get extremely depressed and trust me it comes completely out of the blue.
I’m supposed to be overwhelmed with happiness after finally being pregnant with what feels like a miracle baby, but most the time I just wonder how I’ll cope after months of depression and feel like I’m losing my mind.
Don’t judge unless you’ve gone through it because this crazy and cruel crap you’ve written on here just makes people who ARE actually going through this just feel more confused.
@@Badfishtoooit’s strange how the only videos you comment on are pregnancy videos, yet you come to the comments to write vile comments about something you’ve never even been through yourself. Please do tell me what war is like from fluffy bedroom in your mums house whilst you’re at it 😂
I am an avid mental health awareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my RUclips channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💚💚
Thank you for making this video, it’s so important to raise awareness of pregnancy being a really difficult experience for some women.
Thank you for being so honest. There’s not enough people open enough about the realities of their experience and they’re too afraid to talk about it. Really delighted to hear you’re doing well now
Thank you so much for being totally honest. I’m in such a bad spiral and place and feel utterly alone, crazy, awful, guilty, shameful and suicidal and can’t think of anyone to talk to about it… so I just googled the topic and found you… I’m already feeling less alone and less of a “bad person”… I wish everyone was so open instead of this picture perfect social media world we live in.
As someone who hasn't ever been pregnant but has had significant mental illness, it's really useful to know the support and experience you've had with perinatal mental health problems.
I do eventually want to have a baby, but I've been very worried about being judged in pregnancy or not getting the right support. It's really helpful to know that the support is there, especially if you have more significant mental ill health. I think it's really important for doctors to be less reluctant than they are to prescribe antidepressants, they can be massively helpful.
Briony, you are absolutely not alone in this experience. I felt so much of this in my first pregnancy. It was the scariest mental health time in my life, and I had no idea this was something that could happen in pregnancy. Thank you for sharing and helping me feel less alone ❤️ Glad you're doing better now
I’m almost 20 weeks into my second hyperemesis pregnancy and feeling sick constantly is so hard. I have one wonderful toddler and obviously will have another precious baby soon but I hate being pregnant. I absolutely hate it. I LOVE my kids. I do not like being pregnant. I’m grateful to be able to have kids but that doesn’t change how miserable being pregnant is for me.
Oh, Bryony. Thank you for bearing your brave and beautiful soul. Wishing you the best with the rest of your pregnancy and raising your little boy.
Thank you for this video. You are so lucky to live in the UK with those supports. (I'm in the US ). I haven't experienced this as we've adopted our kiddos but this is so important to get out and show that people do feel this way.
Sounds like you went through a lot! You are a very strong person and gonna be one heck of a mother!
I really appreciate this. I'm on my second pregnancy and both have been relatively easy for me with minor annoyance symptoms. But I have a friend with Hyperemesis who needs medication and my sister-in-law has had awful nausea and fatigue making work almost impossible. It's so eye opening to hear about the things other women experience. 💕
Listening to all of this was kind of brutal. I can't say I didn't judge you for some of the things you said in this video, however then I started thinking how valuable all of this is.
Pregnancy is more often than not painted in rose colored lenses and any negative feeling about it is taboo. I think people being honest about their experiences help others who haven't decided if pregnancy and parenthood is for them or not.
In my case I'm 27 and always knew that I didn't wanted to go through pregnancy or raise kids.
Thank you for sharing this very vulnerable and sensitive experience for helping others who might be in a similar position.
Bryony, you are so brave for sharing the details of your mental health struggles through pregnancy. I'm sure many women struggling with pregnancy will find this video helpful. I wish you the very best for the remaining weeks of your pregnancy and I am very pleased to hear you are now in a better place, I hope your mental health continues to remain in a better place. Xx
I'm not going to lie I am shocked that pregnancy can be that bad but I think your doing a really good thing telling it so truthfully
Oh my GOSH, thank you for being so raw, I needed this so so much. My pregnancy is nothing like I thought it will be, nausea, piles, fainting, PGP, UTI, insomnia, mental health prior to pregnancy and now....
You are really amazing for sharing this so openly and honestly. You are setting a great example. I had a smooth pregnancy mostly, I did have the all day nausea but vitamin b6 and unisom combo every night helped. But intrusive thoughts after my baby was born were absolutely terrible and triggered sheer panic in me. You are so right when you said there’s a fear to speak out because you think they’ll take the baby from you, I felt that way. I didn’t get help for that, I reached out but never got a response (in the US), but once I went on the internet and knew what I was experiencing had a name, they almost stopped immediately.