007: Licence to Pun
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- Опубликовано: 1 ноя 2015
- I made one of these a few years back. This is way longer. And in HD! (woop)
I need to get out more.
Update: a wee thank you to all those who have been kind enough to leave nice comments. Never expected to get so many views! Glad the product of my boredom has helped to alleviate all of your boredom too!
(A good few of you have felt the need to point out that the vid isn't full of puns. I'm aware of that. So is everyone else that watches it. It's just a daft name for a daft compilation!) 
Приколы
Loved the chemistry between Desmond Llewellyn and pierce brosnan
I think Moore had the best chemistry with Llewellyn
@@BitcoinMotorist second best...
according to Desmond Pierce was his favourite bond
He was Q.
I loved the Sandwich scene. Thinking it's some kind of device
The way pierce brosnan handled the sandwich thinking it's Q's latest gadget before being snatched away and told it's his lunch always cracked me up 😂
“My name is Pussy Galore.”
“I must be dreaming.”
The funny thing is that this may not be a joke, anyone would have the same reaction as James.
I sure did.
I still can't wrap my head around that that is her name.
@Floyd1504 yes, Arsehole Galore! 🤣
Apparently the original lines were "I'm Pussy Galore!" "I know, but what's your name?" even for the time, that was considered excessive 😜
I thought he said "that must be pretty big"
@@JonatasAdoM yea i mean that name is haha, but just a name lol ruclips.net/video/Mu3QQ1YnpzE/видео.html
Well, that was 20 minutes of my time spent very wisely.
Ooh behave
Puts a smile in my heart.
😆
"Hang on James!"
"The thought had occured to me"
Hahahaha
Classic understatement
Bond: Q, have I ever let you down?
Q: Frequently.
Alt. Dialogue:
Bond: "Q, have I ever let you down?"
Q: "I keep a list of all the times, it's alphabetized."
Bond: Q, have I ever let you down?
Q: Frequently.
Bond: I'm gonna end you, Q, you snot-nosed old geezer! (Shoots Q with his Walther PPK)
16:36
Tom Smurf Yu Lock Carnage Count
Q: "What you should ask is when did you not, 007"
*blows two people away with the double barrel shotgun* "welcome to scotland" most accurate thing i've ever seen.
Nah people don’t own guns in Scotland
@@ethanmcfarland8240 shame
@@ethanmcfarland8240 or do they?
Nah they don't
But im happy for that
*SLASH* because who needs a gun when swords do the job?
United States of America yes they do
@@ethanmcfarland8240I believe they use Claymores
that pierce "beg your pardon , i forgot to knock" then knocking the guy out , will always be class in my book
"i am Mr.Kill"
"huh well that's a name to die for"
XD
DragoChronicSmoker42 😹😆
"Tomorrow never dies" is the most underrated Bond movie in history. Not only was it good when it came out, it aged like fine wine and became even more relatable with mass media mogul being the bad guy and western-chinese conflict being in the focus.
Agreed. Plus the Soundtrack from Moby was excellent… and the BMW parking chase… so much win…
I watched it back the other day. It couldn't be more relevant to the present day if it tried.
And it has what I think is the best gunbarrel sequence overall.
100%
Actually it was based on a real story of newspaper faking a conflict and almost causing a war, but in reality it happened in an earlier century, and it was between USA and Cuba. Read on Spanish-American war of 1898.
"I think he's attempting reentry." *just dies laughing*
Q is a legend lol
That one's my favorite!
😆😂
R.i.p. ... can i have your pc?
my wife usually says the same thing :)
17:07
Elektra : "I could have given you the World."
Bond: "THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH."
Elecktra: "Foolish sentiment."
Bond: "Family motto."
Just epic
That's actually from the books. It's Bonds family motto.
I love how there are all these puns where James says something passingly witty with charm and dignity.... Then right in the middle of it is Timothy Dalton yelling "switch the bloody machine off!!!"
1:56 you could tell she was having a HARD time not laughing her ass off at the name of her character.
15:22 - It's funny. In 'No Time To Die', Bond ends up breaking both of these rules and it costs him dearly.
Yea
Cause he had a rubbish q who never taught him those rules
To be fair, the bad guy had his kid.
"The Man with the Golden Pun" would have been better.
the man with the Golden bum, operation budha lol
Licence to Quip
A pity many of these weren't actually puns.
Dr Ho!
On her Majesty's smirking service!
"His name is 'Jaws' He kills people" R.I.P. Richard
Loved his appearce in happy gilmore
The scene with him biting the cable car cable was good, it was a specially made piece of liquorice just for him as he loved it.
And Roger
I love how he helps james in moonraker and gets the girl and becomes the hero.
May he rest in peace.
“Sorry about the leg. Skiing?”
::rocket fires from Q’s leg cast::
“Hunting!”
*while comoletely missing the target*
10/10
I think "switch the bloody machine off" might be my favourite line in any bond film.
He’s about to lose his grip and fall into the machine, and what used to be Dario has just gone through a rather nasty conversion in that thing, so it’s not really surprising. How would you react if the first thing your saviour did in that situation was ask “are you alright?” 😂
@@horrorfanandy4647 I would say the same thing.
Bond: Forgive me Father for I have sinned
Q: That's putting it mildly 007
"Aren't you in the wrong room, Mr. Bond?"
"Not from where I'm standing."
XD
"He got the Boot" I love how annoyed Bond sounds when he said that.
''These were 500 dollars glasses assh*ole!''
''This is where you fall down...''
"Hang on James"
"The Thought had occurred to me"
I really Love Rodger Moor's bond.
Daltons annoyed "he got the boot" had me laughing
Yeah, it's funny but Kara always sounding afraid is extremely annoying.
“Aren’t you in the wrong room”
“Not from where I’m standing”
"My god, what's Bond doing?!"
"I think he's attempting re-entry, sir."
LMFAO!!!!!
Keeping The British End Up, Sir.
He's talking about his cock.
Entering G-Zone !!!
"You first; you, second."
Eeesh. I don't think Brosnan gets nearly enough credit for just how cold-blooded his 007 could be at times.
Oh he was a Cold Hearted BASTARD when possible
He never missed
@@LordofMovies91 That, I think, was the only good line in that entire movie. The way he delivered it was ice cold.
Bond: "Do you expect me to talk?"
Goldfinger: "No Mister Bond, I expect you to die!"
Classic :)
My reply as Goldfinger: "No! I expect you to scream in a castrato voice and split in two! What the fuck did you expect you dumbarse!"
@@locutus155 Man of Culture, i see
My favourite
"You expect me to beg, human?" - Cryptosporidium 138 in DAH! 2 intro
It’s been almost 70 years and that’s still one of the best lines in movie history
*For Your Puns Only*
*Puns are Forever*
*The Pun is Not Enough*
*Pun Never Dies*
*Dr. Pun*
*Live and let Pun*
*The man with the Golden Pun*
*From Pun with Love*
You Only Pun Twice
Thunderpun
Pun Raker
On Her Majesty's Secret Pun
License To Pun
A View to a Pun
Pun Another Day
Punfinger
GoldenPun
Octopun
Goldenpie, pun another day , casino punale , sky pun.
Introducing Bond 25 *No* *Time* *To* *Pun*
You and other guys, except Shamrock, please "Pun Another Day"!
"In Japan Men always come First and Women 2nd."
Austin Powers: "Or sometimes not at all."
Or sometimes in a twist of fate women twice, you not at all and it takes a couple of weeks to realize you had way too much alcohol that evening.
12:09 - the way Craig grimaces and then laughs psychotically before he verbally eviscerates Mads Mikkelsen is savage 🤣
1:12 - This entire quote is priceless.
He is shaking from fear/laughing
I missed all of these as a kid but as an adult I laughed my ass off.
I laughed so much through this but had a tear for Q actor Desmond Wilkinson Llewelyn, when Pierce Brosnan said you're not retiring soon are you? He never made another Bond appearance as he died in 1999. RIP. @ 15:16
@MagicAyrtonforever Mr Llewelyn was _a legendary gentleman who brilliantly set the Q standard high._
He will be forever missed. ♡
was an fabulous actor Desmond -was a pity his dead
Bearing in mind he produced all those clever cars for Bond it was rather ironic he died after he drove his motor head on into another one just around the corner from my dad's. It was on a bit of road notorious for black ice.
I will always miss him.
I was in a pub quiz a few years ago and was the only person to correctly guess the name of the actor who appeared in the most Bond movies. While most tables guessed Roger Moore or Sean Connery, I knew it was Desmond Llewelyn who featured 17 times.
I think he is attempting reentry, sir.
FireOccator one small step for man
Come again?
Well tell him to pull out
@@TheJohngilberttyler "Come again?"
Apogee and Perigee my dear lad. Apogee and Perigee...
(Admittedly you have to be a bit of a NASA nerd to get that reference... :D )
@@TheJohngilberttyler oh he will
My two favourite Bond quip moments:
Attractive, large-busted secretary explaining why Bond was just reprimanded for smoking: "Mr Osato believes in a healthy chest."
Bond (with classic Connery eyebrow raise): "Really?"
Bond tosses henchman into printing press, horrendous scream heard, newspapers roll out covered in blood. Bond: "They'll print anything these days."
Haven't watched the video all the way through yet, but I hope these two make it in!!
One does.
"I'm afraid you've got me with more than my hands up"
My god.
« She always did enjoy a good squeeze »
Dead
😂😂😂😂
“Can you swim?”
“I think we’ve met”
“A woman?”
"Backseat driver".
“I’m afraid you’ve caught me with more than my hands up” XD
Optimistic Chaos that film had, perhaps, the best collection of one-liners. It’s a shame the movie, itself, wasn’t better.
@@smoothALOE Which one was that ? I can't quite remember the name.
Ja Herra Diamonds are Forever.
@@smoothALOE Thanks man
I dont get this like..
"Thats quite a nice little nothing you're almost wearing, I approve." lolz
Robbie Coltrane was an unexpected but welcome delight in the Pierce Brosnan Bond movies.
“He thinks I’m still a virgin...”
“Yes, well, you get your clothes on, and I’ll buy you an ice cream.”
😂😂😂😂
I don't get it.
She is too young is what Bond is saying pretty much.
+Firemarioflower
James were being sarcastic...OMG WHY THERES ALWAYS HAVE THAT ONE KID WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS SARCASM AND TRY TO RUIN THE JOKE...Jeez
@@andikoazri It's not the joke i was just annoyed that he didn't want to sleep with Bibi.
16:47 -- "You always were a cunning linguist, James."
I didn't catch what was said after that, but I sure caught that pun.
"Don't ask." / "Don't tell."
“She’s had her kicks”
🍿
That's one of the best. But the video should have caught the previous scene so one could understand the context of the pun. When she said it I burst out laughing in the theater. As far as I could tell I was, surprisingly, the only person to do that. I couldn't believe more people didn't pick up on it.
17:16 Dude's so badass he can tame a tiger with one word XD
"Sit-!" Moore's face in this scene is priceless
That was a nod to a well known celebrity at the time (1980s a household name in the UK) - Barbara Woodhouse, it was her catchphrase... Here's a good video montage: ruclips.net/video/K-Di2COwNT8/видео.html
"She always did enjoy a good squeeze" gets me everytime
Moore was the king of puns... Maybe because his portrayal of Bond was lighter. "No, ma'am, I'm with the economy tour" hahaha
2:00 At that moment, Bond became overwhelmed with the sheer number of puns he could possibly reply with.
😏😏😏
I can't articulate how much I appreciate the fact that you added in context to the jokes whenever necessary. Its a very nice touch and really makes the video better
The man with golden pun
MrJohnybirchall Quantum of laughter. xD
Pun never dies
a view to a pun
Dr.Pun
From russian with Lol'd
Goldpunner
Thunderpun
You only live puns
On her majesty's secret pun
Live and let pun
The man with the golden pun
The spy who punned me
Punraker
For your puns only
Octopunny
A view to a pun
The living punlights
Lisence to pun
Goldenpun
Puns never dies
The puns are not enough
Die another pun
Pun royale
Pun of solace
Punfall
Punctre
@@johnjosephdejesus8524 Those are the best ones yet!
"Vodka martini"
"Shaken or stirred?"
"Do I look like I give a damn?"
I like Craig. I don't think any Bond before him would have been able to make that line work while still feeling like a Bond movie. Plus, it plays off expectation, which is nice.
That's why he's the best. No one else could make that work.
@@Zack_410 even Dalton?
@john smeaton AHEM
*GUNSHOT* perhaps read better next time
@john smeaton Daniel Craig's bond was a fucking crybaby and a hesitant to the hilt. Sean Connery's bond would kill that asshole safrin and get out of the island base alive without being infected.
As he is watching Onatopp die, you can almost hear Bond’s mind clicking, thinking of the perfect one-liner.
the delivery of "that depends on your definition of safe sex" kills me every time. And wow I forgot how sexy Xenia was.
BEFORE she became 2000s!Jean Grey
Famke is the best!!
@@toadstrishe's wierd she don't want to be touched by fans
-I'll finish dressing.
-Oh please don't, not on my account.
"who are you?"
"my name is Pussy Galore,"
'...I must be dreaming." his face when he says that part omg XD
I musht be dreaming. XD
According to a rumour, the original line was "I know you are, but what's your name".
You can tell she was trying hard to not laugh at her own line before delivering. I wonder what the blooper real would show from that scene.
Zyban frond 1eujh😟😡😬😴😰😩😱😢😦😐😅😴5engn😦😟😡😦😡😩💵
pitchfork zm h smash
abc I will ₩*;; $😳😳😡😑😶😯
Can't you see how underrated Timothy Dalton is? People said be was too dead-pan. I think he nailed the part. It wasn't just a portrayal if Bond, I think he captured his persona, to a way nobody else did. Or could.
Dalton’s Bond is like the prototype for Craig’s Bond imo.
Both brought grit to the role to contrast with a cheesy predecessor (Moore / Brosnan).
I’d like to have seen Dalton return again, 2 films wasn’t enough.
@@SportyMabamba I don't know.
I didn't really pay attention when I watched his movies to say (he and Brosnan also looked like brothers back then), so I'll keep that nothing beats George Lazenby.
He was the most accurate Bond to the books at the time
@@SportyMabamba How dare you talk shit about Pierce Brosnan so goldeneye wasn’t good for you?
@@johnnyr3340 I never said I didn’t enjoy the cheesier Bonds. I actually love Goldeneye and It was the first Bond film I saw. I adore the first 3 Brosnan films.
Moore’s run also has some greats: Moonraker is excellent fun and the villains in View to Kill are good - Christopher Walken chews the scenery which is brilliant and Grace Jones is superb.
I was simply contrasting Dalton’s/Craig’s gritty portrayals with their smoother forebears.
Please try not to burst a blood vessel, it’s only YT comments.
Bond: "Do you expect me to talk?"
Goldfinger: "No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!"
Hurry up Mr Powers
My favourite! 🤣🤣🤣
"They'll print anything these days"
😂😂 bloody paper
Truth These Days
"All thosse feathers and he still cant fly."
Girl: You wouldn’t kill me, you’d miss me.
*shouts then gets shot by Bond
Bond: I never miss.
One of my favorite lines ever.
UNISEX line
List of Bond Villains (original timeline) and who they were killed by:
Dr. No: **killed by Bond**
Rosa Klebb: **killed by Tatania**
Goldfinger: **killed by Bond**
Largo: **killed by Domino**
Blofeld: **survived death 3 times before being killed for good by Bond in For Your Eyes Only**
Kananga: **killed by Bond**
Scaramanga: **killed by Bond**
Stromberg: **killed by Bond**
Drax: **died in space, but poisoned by Bond**
Kristatos: **killed by Colombo**
Kamal: **died in plane crash**
Zorin: **fell into the sea and drowned**
Whitaker: **killed by Bond**
Sanchez: **burned alive by Bond**
Alec: **killed by his own satellite**
Elliot: **killed by his own sea drill**
Elektra: *_HEADSHOT_*
Gustav: **electrocuted by Bond and died in an airplane engine**
“He had lots of guts” is just so morbid to me because the dude literally gets mulched
1:33 I just love How Rodger Moore's bond is so straight to the point in this scene.
Lazenby's line "this never happened to the other guy" was classic too.
It was the first line he ever spoke in the film?
"He had lots of guts"
*fella
I lost my charm not from where I'm standing
“There’s a fly in your soup”
"Plenty O'Toole"
"Named after your father perhaps" ?
That one is excellent.
He was hot for you!
can't for the life of me figure it out. am I dumb? someone explain this one
@@grayfruit I think he's referring to Peter O'Toole (check out Lawrence of Arabia if you didn't).
@@grayfruit "Plenty" = Enough. A "Tool" is a slang term for penis. So "Plenty O'Tool", "named after your father perhaps", he's joking her dad had a big schlong
"Ejector seat" and "he's attempting re-entry" are classic
THERE IS ONE MISSING
The Living Daylights: Dalton releases Kara from her cell.
Kara: We are free!
Dalton: We are inside a Russian base in the middle of Afghanistan
Anyone remember the original tribute to Q on the "The World is not Enough" VHS? Was a beautiful like 10 minute long tribute to him, since that was his final movie. "There are 2 things I've always tried to teach you 007. Number 1, never let them see you bleed."
"And the second?"
"Always have an escape plan."
Just beautiful. And they played one of the original bond songs during it. Cant remember which song but I remember she says "nobody knoooowws" lol. There will never be another Q
Maybe Goldeneye?
Tina Turner, "Goldeneye".
The tribute is definitely on one of the Brosnan movies, and it’s also on the Blu-ray and DVD. The song was “Nobody Does It Better” by Carly Simon, originally from The Spy Who Loved Me.
"Switch the bloody machine off!" hahaha.
Dalton could have been a great Captain for a Star Trek show.
"Oh, they missed you...What a pity! - Love Q's quips.
Out of all the James Bond 007 puns. Roger Moore takes the prize
Absolutely brilliant! Best quote? "You always were a cunning linguist". It confused the hell out of my Dad and Step Mum one Christmas!
The absolute best Bond pun!
"Don't ask"
@@fabiancastaneda3878 "Don't tell."
Pierce Brosnan was the smoothest bond
I only have one thing I'd change "you'd never kill me. You'd miss me"
"Not as this range"
The one that was missed,is when M brings him the golden bullet from Scaramanga."Dont know anybody would want to kill me"Then M reads a list of tailors,husbands etc!!
"Secret agent??! On whose side!??"😆
Poor cop. Got his worst day in the hands of 007!
Miss Moneypenny on the phone: "You always were a cunning linguist."
Turns to M: "Don't ask"
🙄... 🤔
M: "Don't tell."
@@JCBro-yg8vd M's got jokes *ding*
You left off "I thought Christmas comes only once a year". The most cold blooded one was Connery's "That's a Smith & Wesson, and you've had your 6".
I might have missed something but could you explain the last one to me?
@@benpowell-punmaster1214 Do a search on my quote and you should have about 5 versions of the film clip.
@@benpowell-punmaster1214 Smith and Wesson is a brand that makes guns and that specific gun he was using only carries 6 bullets, so Bond had counted 6 shots and knew his gun was empty
So by saying he had had his 6 he was saying basically that he had fired all his bullets, then he killed him
@@Dave-mf6tj thanks
5:45 " The ultimate in British engineering " developed by the Ministry, of Silly Walks.
I wonder is that the reason he walked around it which made his legs appear distorted?
I know -- I kinda think that's the sly wink they're giving us in that moment.
5:47*
All time favorite is the : "You missed Mr. Bond." *drop* "Did I?"
6:27 greatest line from a bond movie EVER!!!
Fantastic editing! My supreme compliments.
Probably one of my favourite Q scenes is in Tomorrow Never Dies where he meets Bonds in Germany posing as an Avis rep to give Bond his new car.
I lost it when Q said I think he is trying for a reentry 😂
The "Plenty O'Toole" clip is my favorite Bond moment of all of the movies.
paktype "Named after your father, perhaps?"
My voice will be lost in a huge crowd of commenters here, but THANK YOU! This collection is fantastic; you just can't beat a good Bond pun 👍🏻 made my day watching this!
6:00 cracks me up everytime. One of the many reasons why I like Timothy Dalton a lot.
The Sons of Epsilon Not the last time it could've been used in this compilation!!
4:08 Flying is still the safest way to travel.
8:04 I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I ended up with one shoe.
14:58 Bond's thinking _what an odd piece of equipment_ xD
007: What would I ever do without you?
Moneypenny: As far as I can remember James, you've never had me.
Other people: "Why do you like these movies? They are totally unrealistic and ridiculous."
Me: *shows this video*
trekchu unrealistic??? Cmon. Everyone knows that you can genetically change from Korean to English and then build an ice palace and then have Bond surf on a tsunami.
@@rd-pd8xb Do you know I thought I always hated that one due to the tsunami surfing scene - I completely overlooked the whole genetic transformation part! I preferred the older Bonds, the ones that used practical effects, even if they where still over the top at least you knew it was actually a physical item someone made, not some nonsense crafted on a computer! The mini-scuba mouthpiece even had the Royal Navy requesting a few be made for them!
OK trekkie, then what the hell was captain kirk fighting on that alien planet , Gorn, the alien or a guy in an ape suit??
They are realistic and tangible to a large degree. It's just that the media, theatre and the arts in general, sometimes use what's known as poetic licence and sensationalism, in assisting to inform, convey or portray the messages they require to deliver to the intended audience. The truth is far stranger than fiction, or what's referred to as the institutional truth and fed propaganda misrepresents. It's only the theatre and the dickensian film studio versions for the public. Like Shakespeare. Based on half truths and tied in with elements of reality. Maybe the conceptual brilliance of it's enormity, entirely escaped you?
Of course Bond can surf. He even has his own beach for it.
Bondi.
"Are you with our group?"
"No ma'am I'm with the economy tour"
Lol
You forgot the scene in "Thunderball" where Bond and Largo are shooting clays over the ocean and Bond says something like "seems terribly difficult", then shoots a clay from the hip, and deadpans, "no, it isn't, is it?"
There's a second part to the video :)
I love that scene! best part of the movie after dominic.
"Switch the bloody machine off!!!"
FreeToBe Never thought double meaning there 😁
🤣
007: pun unintended
@@Mutrunalle What's the other meaning?
shows you how dumb some people are....
"Hi, I'm plenty."
"But of course you are."
That one always gets me
6:34 Did you know that the man with the glasses on the left is the producer Michael J. Wilson? He made a cameo in every Bond film since The Spy Who Loved Me
Moore: Moneypenny you look better every time I see you.
Moneypenny: I’m over here!
Moore: oh-but of course you are.
16:16
Is anything the matter, sir Henry?
Just the slight stiffness coming on.
XD
Martin Páleník I’ll be honest. Im not a fan of Lazenby. But that one line: he’s got my respect.
Yeah babee
" No mam, I'm with the economy tour ". Lol Roger..
15:01 Q shouldn't leave his lunch lying around like that: someone could get hurt.
She always did enjoy a good pun before the poke.
Silva: "My turn. (BANG) I win. What do you say to that"?...
Bond: "Its a waste of good scotch".
Funny enough, as a scotch drinker myself, I actually said that JUST BEFORE Craig said it, the first time I saw Skyfall..........little did I know that THAT WAS THE LINE!!!
"Just a slight stiffness coming on"
When it comes to to 007, no video could be long enough!
That's what SHE said...
1:20 Your smoothness level must be over 9,000 for you to be smooth enough to make puns solely for your own enjoyment.