What's So Bad About Divorce?
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- Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
- This week, we explore the origins of the social stigma around divorce.
Edited by: Neha Shekhawat
Presented by: Anahita Sachdev
Research: Anamika Sudhakar, Quoyina Ghosh
Produced by: Shrishti Malhotra
Creative Supervisor: Karla Bookman
Want to learn more about the research in this video? Check out these readings:
-Deaver, Timothy. "The Political Philosophy of the Enlightenment."
-Foreman, Amanda, and Each Valentine’S. Day. "The Heartbreaking History of Divorce." Smithsonian Magazine (2014).
-Johnson, Janet H. "Annuity contracts” and marriage." For his Ka. Essays in Memory of Klaus Baer. Studies in Ancient Oriental Civilization 55 (1994): 113-32.
-Laney, J. Carl, William A. Heth, Thomas R. Edgar, and Larry Richards. Divorce and remarriage: Four Christian views. InterVarsity Press, 1990.
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Big shout out to Quoyina who found such cool movie references for the intro. If you were to suggest the title slate @0:12 secs instead of the one used in the video, what would it be?
And kudos to you for these video edits which I'm always in awe of!! Neha Shekhawat is a national treasure. 🔥
I really like the choice of movie clips you put for the reference of what is being said. Also I liked how you put 'carol' ( 4:12 ) for the same reason. Ty for your hardwork.
@@boddulokesh1 I don't think burqa is in any way empowering. I also find it as regressive as ghunghat but you are forgetting that there's a religious divide here. We can't do anything as long as Muslim women themselves object to this. You see burqa is not any form of abuse. We cannot force our way in. There's a practice of FGM called Katana or something like that which takes place in a community of Muslim. People have openly objected to it cause it's abuse. If we call out to burqa as people belonging to another religious community then we'll be the EXTERNAL FORCE in internal matters. So I think it's important for Muslim women to voice their opinions and we stand with them not for them. Even ghunghat was rejected by Hindu women themselves.
@sudarshana chakra 3.0 That's a totally different thing, dude🙄
@sudarshana chakra 3.0 I'll rather say that we are divided and restricted by religion. If Swaddle presenter is Hindu or any other religion other than the oppressive one then they don't have any right to say. When Muslim women will make empowered choices and object to regressive customs only then we will be able to do anything.
It's time to ask women to stop 'adjusting' in bad marriages. Divorce is more often than not the courageous and difficult choice to make. Kudos to the people who go through with it, especially when it is difficult to
lovely.
So true. It's the people saying things like women should adjust and learn to compromise for me
@@pretty948 same.
@@pretty948 You are everywhere on RUclips, I came by your comments on different channels more than you can imagine.🙄🙄
👍
Seriously, I don't understand why is divorce considered bad. If two people aren't happy with each other, what's the point of staying together?
You don't considered this bad because you are a girl, you are not the who will lose custody over your child and lose your money
In my hostel, if I don't like my roommate, I won't stay with him
Same should be equally true for marriage
@@siddhantshelar1294 if you're worried about, you should probably have married someone more suitable, and perhaps have more repair than rupture in your relationship
@@siddhantshelar1294 That doesn't justify the reason of staying in a toxic relationship. If the child wants, then he/she can go to his/her father once in a while.
@@siddhantshelar1294
Or is it because that the thought or prospect of the wife, who is the "property" of the husband and in-laws, revealing that she is a human being, exhibiting characters like having a mind, exercising choice etc. is extremely scary and is shaking the foundation of patriarchy?
If the legal framework of divorce is so misandrist and favourable for women, then why are the rates so less while cases of domestic violence still very much existant in the country? Maybe it is time men like you stop whining and actually introspect.
Leaving a bad marriage >>>> living in a miserable relationship and forwarding misogynistic whatsapp memes about your wife
It's women's fault also
This.
@@adhithyanal908 mhm sure , do men face domestic violence ? Are men forced to quit their job when they get married ? Does the society shame men when they want a divorce ? Stop trying to play the victim card whenever women’s issues are discussed . It’s not about you all the time
@@vrinda9999 Yes, men face domestic violence.
Pseudo feminists will never accept this.
@@swarnaprabhabej2305 men face domestic violence no one should deny that , but nowhere near the amount of violence women face
“When you talk about ‘divorce rates’ and stigmatise divorce you’re just making it harder for people to leave bad marriages. Divorce isn’t the problem, it’s the solution for a lot of people. Divorce rates being high isn’t a sign of more failed relationships, it’s a sign that more people are freely able to leave toxic and unhappy situations.”
she actually provided a context wherein matrilineal societies women have the option to end things because they are empowered but with this patriarchal society , its less the case even though the ship has sailed long ago and people are only sharing a roof. so you can stay married within a failed marriage but you can be divorced with a mutual understanding that person you were with was not a fit.
@Smallhill Admin Ok illit*rate gavar.
@Smallhill Admin ....kuch bhi???....kuch bhi...??.....
@@ultimate6243 Ok gavar admi.
Kuch bhi likhne se woh sahi nahi hota.
@Smallhill Admin agree
Like Marriage divorce should also be accepted & celebrated in our society
So says a person whose religion is a sticker to a medieval warlord's book, which allows talak talak talak
@@shubhmishra66 Making that statement shows your "modern" mindset as well..
@@shubhmishra66 Triple talak is illegal now
@@shubhmishra66
Lol..instant triple talaq was not even by their book.
Celebrated???
So many women continue with bad marriages and toxic husbands as they're financially dependant. Empowering women financially is the best way to encourage them to not carry the burden of bad marriages on their head.
Then, all financially sound women must be happy. Make a survey
@@moonmatters...3857 I'm not saying they'll be happy. But they'll be empowered to walk out
@@raaganaada6493 If all start to walk out this way, their won't be any family left in this country. Thus, everyone will think about themselves. Just think a selfless country will turn to a selfish country.
@@moonmatters...3857 men should change and keep their wives happy. All happy no walking out😂😂😂
@@raaganaada6493 No, man should not keep women happy but women should achieve happiness by serving their men.
Bliss comes from service.And woman's womanhood is best fulfilled by staying at the feet of her beloved like Laxmi Narayan.
You know this society is so judgemental.. When a man is divorced it is considered that it was his woman's mistake.. But at the same time.. When a woman takes divorce.... It's not seen as it's husbands mistake .. It's still seen as it was her mistake... ( because according to them a woman is the only one who has to sacrifice everything including her happiness..self respect etc etc..)
Oh this patriarchal society.. 😶😶😶..
By the way that intro 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
most of this exist just in your mind's imagination , films and serial ,
@floating egg are sun sister , chal tune nahi suna , man liya mene , but deko jo mai keh raha hu wo galat nahi hai , yaha par point hai ki, tu aur mai dono ekk sath right hai , mai ye nahi keh raha ki tu galat keh rahe hai ..but yaha media aur hamari communication mai ye galti ho jati hai ki ham sirf ekk side ko represent karte hai , jaise tu girls side ko aur mai boys side ko .so bettter ye hoga ki koi bich ka rasta nikle .and keep in mind ham log aise nahi ki ladikyo ko hate kar rahe hai , hamare bhi sister hai aur hamare mom bhi hai , hame bhi pata hai ki society bhi unke sath ye sab karenge , but mai ye nahi bhul sakta ke mere bhai hai aur father bhi .. so better hai na left walo ka suno na right walo ka , ekk history mai kand kar chuke hai , ekk future mai kand karne wale hai . so agli baar both side ko represent karne ki kosish karna
peace.
Here i want to share one story true and real story that is my dads colleague is officer at very high level ok so he ( husband) got married in 2002 having 2 children age 18 &16 respectively but in 2015 he got divorced later he married to another women (love) extra marital affair lets just now they have 1 daughter amd that women is also officer looking Beautiful ok its just for history my point is that when we camr to know my mom reaction was that 1st wife to sirf zagade hi karti thi and 2nd wife wajah se hi divorce ho gaya aur Beautiful honeke chakkar me fasa liya in that all situation my mom didn't find that husbands any kind of fault i mean i was like wtf
Just telling indian tendecy to divorce
Ps: i m not disrespecting my mom
Low divorce rates in India doesn't mean couples are happy. Have you seen the whatsapp forwards about how everyone's wife's suck and they're dum af etc. It tells a lot about the state your relationship 😷
@Smallhill Admin if a person is happy with his/her partner then he or she will not make joke of their relationship
@Smallhill Admin yeah. Would you ever post/ say something that humiliates or makes your significant other look terrible in public ? The person you supposedly love and adore? That's what you're gonna do? Post WhatsApp memes about how women/wives suck in your family/friend group
@Smallhill Admin for someone who's subscribed to Amit Shah you seem pretty sceptical about WhatsApp forwards. What an irony 😂💀
@worship patriarchy...your name is 'worship patriarchy' and youre telling others that theyre snowflakes.... seems legit :D
@worship patriarchy no, i never said they are equivalent, it just seemed dumb to call ppl snowflakes when youve been fighting and getting offended in almost all of your replies, and your name doesnt help either bahahaha. oh and you have shown to be vEry qUirkY and nOt LiKe oTheR pEePs by your last line so congo! :D
About women driving cars:
I came to know recently that the first long distance car driver was Bertha Benz ( a woman ). She drove 105 km for the first time to prove that her husband's invention was useful.
Can you make a video on this?
But why didnt his husband himself drove it? 😓
@@disliketheclickbaits8858 he died or some atleast I heard he died
@@disliketheclickbaits8858 patriarchy 😂
@@dayadarwazatoddo5921 The good doctor! 🤩
@@coolNerdnextdoor yes✌
People don't appreciate Swaddle's video editing enough, it's so neat and aesthetically pleasing.
Great job editors, kudos to you all!
High time we stop teaching girls and young women to 'adjust' and 'compromise' in their lives. Also, we sooo need to stop glorifying women as submissive docile wives/mothers/sisters and start appreciating women as individuals who can take charge of their own life.
"Thoda adjust toh karna padhta hai" should not be the norm!!!
See even in everday life you have to adjust...Small adjustments have to be done even when you are with parents....Toxic relationship should be ended with this divorce....Small adjustments have to be made.....But don't compromise self respect at all...That's what should be taught..
That won’t happen lmao
Do you feel you can be a rebel just because you want to ?
No you need to have the financial resources for it .
In India less than 30% are in workforce and less than 10% if we remove agriculture . Whats those women gonna do after taking your impractical advice . You are privileged doesn’t mean all women are
@@koreanlove71 I agree. I never meant that one is absolutely not supposed to learn to adjust and compromise in life.
I only meant it from a comparative perspective, i.e., it's not just women who need to learn how to adjust or that women shouldn't always have to adjust, that too to the extent that their individual existence and peace is compromised.
@@thecapatalistpropagator_9470 Quite quick and immature of you to assume that I'm privileged and I want to be a rebel. Also, you blew it way out of proportion, don't you think?
Anyway, while I agree that financial independence is the most important kind of empowerment for women, do you think that's about it?
Do you think that women who are employed (even in high paying white collar jobs) don't face prejudices?
Employed women instead face dual burden- your employer thinks that you are supposed to take care of your child/family so you won't contribute enough to your job, on the other hand, the family/society thinks that because you're employed you won't be able to pay enough attention to the household.
@@thecapatalistpropagator_9470 this is where the role of 'compromise culture' comes. I only meant that it's always the women who are expected to compromise more with their needs and aspirations. This exists across all spectrums, be it work, household, marriages, access to healthcare, education, food, legal/institutional aid, property/inheritance rights and the list goes on.
It happens irrespective if the woman is privileged or disadvantaged. Ofc, I'll agree that the former face far less issues than what the latter might.
But the system works like this. Works to favour males. It's called patriarchy for a reason afterall.
Not to simplify the problem, but to contribute a line of thought. Maybe if we stopped glorifying marriage and making obscenely extravagant occasions out of weddings, it would make it easier for divorces too. When people save up their whole lives to spend on one occasion, obviously people feel obligated to stay in it.
Very True. Marriage is treated like the end all be all of a human life. It’s glorified to an extreme
Another way would be to add a no fault divorce option in the family law. Currently in India one party has to be at fault somehow to get a divorce. For example infidelity, domestic abuse infertility
A women in my relatives divorced she is 28 and was proposed to marry a 45 year man with two teenage sons and everybody says "essi ladki ke sath toh esa hi hoga ab " the girl is well educated and earning decently.
"mithila samaj" me ye sab nhi chlta.. lol
@@notsokomal3146 par dahej chlta hai
@@ambikajha6339 😂😂 sometimes it feels like our community is even 10× backward than the rest of India 🤦
@@notsokomal3146 then let's move forward 😁
Bilkul sahi kaha Aisi ladki ka purnta bahiskar hona chahiye samaj se sanatan dharm me talaq ka koi provision nahi hai
For all the men crying about alimony - Under Section 25 of the Hindu Marriage Act, permanent alimony is provided by the court to the wife or even to the husband for her or his support and maintenance. In case the wife is a working woman, but there is a considerable difference between her and her husband’s net earnings, she will still be awarded alimony to help her maintain the same standard of living as her husband.
If the wife is not earning, the court will consider her age, educational qualification and ability to earn to decide the amount of alimony. If the husband is disabled and is unable to earn and the wife is earning, then the court grants alimony to the husband.
A woman is entitled to a maximum of 25% of her ex-husband's earnings.
That too if she's - uneducated, unemployable, no job training etc
Go and check your facts I had listened only one case where a man got alimony that to after 14 years of divorce...... 99% women get alimony..... Even getting share in man's property.....
@@Aman-ww4vo Where did you "listen"?
"men crying about alimony"
Yeah there's nothing called child support and child custody.
I can confidently say that courts are gender biased in divorce cases.
Let's take 1000 random divorce cases.
I will confidently say irrespective of how much both earn, that in 90% of cases she's gonna get alimony for sure and her lawyer can help her so much. And I can't do copy paste stuff and I don't like to waste time, maybe this is last comment.
Normalising divorce is like increasing the businessman in market.
What you are stating isn't current reality.
Also you completely ignored hypergamy which plays a major role in marriages and this alimony thing?
What you said "all men crying", I think you know what after divorces it's all men who whine.
God knows, how much you are trying to make it like it's equality other there in this topic, but A large portion of male rights activist have this alimony thing in their main agenda, lol.
Why are you trying to justify?
I can confidently say you are a feminist.
And if you aren't, please don't even bother to write something mentioning me.
By!
@@PookieNarc119 Women are not ALWAYS given alimony. It is only given when she doesn't have a source of income or qualifications to get a job.
I was divorced in 2014...I feel women are programmed to think that once they are divorced their life will be doomed...and that’s why a lot of times we don’t try to get out of a bad marriage...thankfully I did not believe that...I am happily married the second time...have 2 kids...a great husband and amazing in-laws...I am truly blessed...but then I took that first step of leaving my toxic marriage...sharing this because once you believe in yourself anything’s possible!
Happy for u n thanks for sharing ur story. It gives me some hope in life.
Hope you haven't looted your ex with alimony and child custody. If women are not so "looty", why would a man even try to refuse a divorce?
Anyways, glad that it turned out good for you. Good day
@@tarab8441 I respect that. I really do. You stood up for yourself.I despise men like your ex husband.But let's be honest. Women like you are so rare and that's the problem.
Happy that your new partner turned out to be ideal. Good for you.
The thing is, my parents got divorced when i was very young, I know exactly what happened between them I knew who's fault it was, I also knew my father was cheating with multiple women ( I was 7 at that time), but everyone said 'it must have been your mother's fault' no one ever questioned my father I heard them all say that my mom cheated, everyone still says that my mom has a problem but not my dad
As an Indian living in west from years, I can say that here people don’t give tiny rat ass about others life unlike our Indian society. Marriage is about being happy with ur partner and if you r not then it’s your right to move out. Thankfully women are independent here, make their own money and don’t compromise when their husband cheat or not satisfying. It will take India few 100 years to come to that status, but still hoping women decide the give themselves self love and power.
"don't compromise when men can't satisfy"
Okay... Okay.... Wtf?
@@PookieNarc119 yup u heard it right.
So according to you Men should also not compromise if the women can't sexually satisfy they should also immediately initiate divorce
@@albi4547 western society is more degraded than indian society.
@@PookieNarc119 every society has its good and bad element. Good thing about the west is that it’s more open minded when it comes to rights of a person. Every person has right to live a life which is not ruled by others opinion. Decisions are respected. I am lucky enough that I belonged to big city society in India so culture was like west. However I can’t say that about rest of the country as I have seen women getting degraded at many levels.
System are for Humans ; Humans are not for Systems.. so divorce is one such System..
Tell this to your community which sticks to a medieval oppressive book!
@@shubhmishra66 in 1927 Aambedkar burnt Manusmriti Not Quraan.. It's Manusmriti which divides people High & Low Not Quraan..
@@ultimate6243 😂😂 It seems that your mother married to an illegitimate Joker. That's why you're hiding your real name & commenting with fake name. Only those who don't know their father's identity hides behind fake name😂
@@ultimate6243 yes I've answer.. Islam is the Fastest growing religion in the World & UK & France are not exceptions.. Has any muslim disrespected Jesus or Moses ?? No because they are our prophet too. Just because World is utterly failed in stopping conversion to Islam They're using ridiculous way of portraying cartoons. BTW you illegitimate child 1st search your father😂 that will give you personal identity.
Sun sets in muddy water according to quran😂😂
I think we should form a community(own cult) where religion,race,caste, gender, love marriages, child-free marriages, divorce, pre-marital sex, single parenting etc shouldn't be a taboo at all.
Name : "THE PEARL"
Tagline: Transparent and pure at heart.
yessss
Yes👍🏻👍🏻
@aena Ofcourse, we welcome everyone with open heart.
But to make into reality we should have a rich human with similar ideologies. So that we can purchase a land in a remote area or outskirts of a city. I have clear and neat blueprint.
1. A community kitchen & we grow organic vegetables, fruits, flowers.
2. Only 4workdays/week.
3. Unique cultural festivals Every weekends
4. We raise our own livestock and pets
5. Will have our own literature & language to make our cult an unique
Well it already exists.
But only in metro cities I guess🤔
We are living in a century where intercaste marriages r still a taboo... So accepting a divorce in such situations will might take AAGGEESSS.......
'लोग क्या कहेंगे' इस लाइन ने महिलाओं को समझोता करने पर मजबूर किया हुआ है जिस कारण वो सहन करती रहती है
I don't know why....... what's wrong with divorce.......if a couple is not happy with each other or not satisfied with each other than offcourse theirs a need of divorce why our society needs to interfere in someone else life and make comments on it . People need to understand and change their mentality .
ikr? people should also stop butting into others businesses
@@honeymax9847 yes offcourse... that's the most annoying thing our society used to do.
@@neetimishra3017 yeaa, there is no sense of privacy
@@honeymax9847 yes offcourse and specially when you are a female.
Hahaha. Go first ask a lawyer how tough it is to get divorce. The process of divorce can take as long as 10 years. Also divirce is not easily granted by law process. Rapid counselling sessions are conducted for divorcing couples to prevent divorce. First know the ground reality before spitting gutkha
Plz... Do next video on Caste marriage problems 🤔 " What's wrong about inter cast marriages? " 🙌🙌💜
And inter religious marriage. High time you all do this.
Many people are concerned about children and their adjustment. For it would say, it is proven that children are less traumatised in a divorce than in a unhappy relationship.
If people can't respect each other and also themselves then better end the relationship because such relationship will only make you stagnant.
Relationships are healthy when people are happy apart and grow to their potential and then they are happy together sharing their happiness with each other.
@@ultimate6243 I seriously think you are relating two unrelated things, but if it is a theory then I accept it.
But don't you think divorce isn't the main reason to that only, it's the soceity to blame which didn't support them or pitied them or accepted them. And how do you think domestic violence, alcoholism at home and misogyny affect the child at home.
It will have the same impact but most of the crimes will be internalized at households.
@@shikhashaw6393 He doesn't have brain, hun. Don't waste your time on him.
@@haechanradioenthusiast9015 See different people have different opinions. If he has something valid to say I am ready to increase my knowledge. If not then I am ready to show my kindness.
@@ultimate6243 the reason why india has less prisoners beacause most of the crimes are unrepoted.
You can search 'hathras case' & see how 18 years old girl was gang raped and died after 1 week. How her family is still fighting for justice but for police didn't take any action. Thay are being tortured & given death that also. Those 4 boys are still roaming.
A new movie came 'chappak' it was based on real story how a girl was attacked by a boy couse she didn't accept his proposal.
Still the boy is roaming but the girl whole future stopped.
Those are the some major casess still not justified. Think about it how many girls are still fighting. If those thing happened to you then you will feel the pain. That's true that
"Only a woman can understand other woman's feeling"
I want to divorce to my authoritarian , dependent and one sided love "mother".
I want to divorce to my "toxic family" too.
I think there should be law for that.
Society agrees to divorce to abusive spouse's but judge you if u want to divorce to abusive parents.
1) There should be a society for people who are young like under 18 who don't want to depend on their parents or abusive parents.
2) educational employment for motivation and earn money while educating.
Once u reach 18 there is no law which can adhere you to your mother. Then you can kiss good bye to them
@@artraft3669 well iam talking before 18 like when I was 10 ...if anyone would asked me to leave my family at the age of ten I would happily left.
@@Anarchist_syndicalist I don't think that's possible
Moreover even if you leave, surviving at 10 without family is not easy . So you'll have to wait till 18 atleast.
@@Anarchist_syndicalist maybe you can get some relatives, that you trust, to take you in for a few years on the pretext of better education and such.
@@chimchimsjamkookies4242 my relative are toxic , conservative ,sexist and discriminative.
I just realized from this video and the number of separated couples i saw in these 23 years of life is actually huge. They are like divorced people with no freedom to move on in life. Society makes that harsh for individuals in the name of morality. I hardly saw 5 divorces but saw more than 100 separated couple living in their parents house. This SOCIETY is more toxic than RELATIONSHIP
Highly underrated channel
Thank you for mentioning Northeast India (Mizoram) rest of India can learn so much from northeast India💗💗💗
Exactly! Just like our parents teach us to be friends with good people and leave people who have a bad influence on us. Then why are we not free to cut off that relationship in a marriage! This is a serious problem.
I'm glad that I found your channel
Women addressing issues which we are "forbidden" to even talk about in our patriarchal society. The fascinating part is the history involved. Hope your channel grows one day because it is the women who have to change(men won't until we change) and if I could get influenced then other women could also and we will together change the so called "norms"
Thank you swaddle
Its time to ask out from a Bad marriage. Be it men or women. Also with divorce comes Co-parenting. Like in the movie "Chichoore".The boy had both the parents even though they were divorced. Put forth that idea. Be co-operative. Understand YOUR needs and ur partner's need. Don't fight over a child. Love them, share them, Cherish them.
yes but what about abusive relationships and toxic families?
I really wish that wrath doesn't come upon anyone but if it comes you do what you got to do. Save your child and your self. Try your best to not hurt others but not at the expense of yourself.
What a powerful edit! It's true - there's nothing wrong with divorce!
@sudarshana chakra 3.0 why don't you take the lead and make a video
I assume you know about it already
Please share your valuable knowledge on it by making a video.
Or better, since you are so good at commenting off topic on all swaddle videos just put your knowledge in a comment.
We all will be extremely happy to learn from you🙏
@@ShutterMurgh don't give him attention
@@kanishkasolanki4876 👍😄
Anahita Sachdev- Cute face with irritated expressions.
Always on a questioning spree!😂
*Q. What's so Bad About Divorce?*
A. Hypocrisy and Double Sanders of our Patriarchal society 😐
Women gets Slut Shamed, gets labelled as Character less, rowdy, ugly, lair etc
Men in most cases gets remarried within a year
@Abhijith S you do realise that a woman needs to be educated to do the stuff you mentioned.
Taking alimony, pulling hubby to courts or taking property as you mentioned..
Here the guy Prateek is maybe talking about those millions of women who are uneducated, financially dependent on men all their lives initially the father/brother and later the husband.And they're divorced without any future maintenance etc.
This number is quite huge as compared to the minute number of women who take alimony, Custody and misuse women protection laws to even out things with their ex husband.
No matter what the video tries to teach there will always be some butthurt man who will paint all women as gold diggers alimony seekers and what not!
*Just imagine what you'll feel if I say all* *men rape?*
*Why most Indians generalize issues?*
What happens to one of us by the opposite gender doesn't mean that the entire gender is bad.
If you get a bad egg in your basket will you throw all eggs because one egg among them was spoiled?
@Abhijith S I don't think you have ever read any law..
Women who work and earn cannot demand outstanding amounts of money from their husbands as alimony
Do you think courts are blind??
*And whatever case you saw doesn't* *mean all women will do the same*
Google the literacy rates of women and the number of women who can afford lawyers to fight alimony battles in court
You do realise that you need money to keep a lawyer and basic knowledge of rights/women protection laws to use/misuse it.
@Abhijith S the above comment by Mr Prateek was about patriarchy making it more difficult for women to remarry or settle again
You made it a woman vs man issue
The parents of my cousin separated when she was three.The woman could never marry.On the contrary the divorced man received plenty of proposal and later married a very young unmarried girl.
I think that Mr Prateek wanted to emphasise this discrimination.
People will give their unmarried young daughter to a divorced man happily but they'll judge a divorced woman and possibly blame her for the divorce.
This is hypocrisy isn't it?
@Abhijith S I have never said men don't suffer
You seem to read what you want to hear.
As for your countless number of articles where women demanded exorbitant income, have they mentioned how many women do it?Or whether the woman will get the amount she's asking?
If you are taking example of the Bollywood actors etc from news then please don't 🙏.They don't represent India because most Indians will never earn crores as those actors do.
Courts are not toddlers they consider all facts and they'll not grant a divorce where man has to give away more than fifty percent of his earning,unless he's financially capable of it.
And that might be a reason for long divorce battles of such people.
@Abhijith S
If you have watched the video from 3:30 onwards you might understand the context of Prateek's comment.
And my comments were exactly around it.
Both men and women suffer from stigma and exploitation.The only difference is women also bear the brunt of patriarchy whereas for men it is a financial exploitation as divorced men are not stigmatized as much as a divorced woman.
Suggestion for next Overthinking it video- Why men need to be the tall ones in a relationship?
Wonderful idea, I second. Requesting @swaddle 🙏
I,too... Third?
There is no 'need'...
.
There's no need, just baseless toxic societal norms.
@@gotnochill1924 yup, and like Swaddle makes videos on "bogus" societal norms, requesting a video on this norm as well.
Our Indian system making us dependent on our parents because we are young..what if there is a society for teenagers who don't want to depend on their parents.
Sometimes parents love is one sided and I don't love them ..I want to leave them but Indian system won't allow.
Me as a young kid I cannot tolerate physical abuse and emotional abuse.
I love when people use abuse word so frequently
@@PookieNarc119 Why?
I once heard my mom say this to her cousin when her husband was cheating on her "if you divorce him, he'll marry the other woman and you don't have anyone else right now. It's better if you just separate, that way he won't be able to remarry and he has to pay for you and your kids expenses" she may be right on him not being able to remarry but I still feel they should just get a divorce as then she won't have to use his name in any way and spousal support would be a legal obligation which he will have to pay otherwise there won't be any legal proceedings if he refuses to send money while they are separated
Why should a man pay for a woman in the first place? All these talks of financial independence and women empowerment do mean nothing in this case. You loot men after divorce and you play victim as well. No one cares about men's problems.
@@akhiiii8012 it's not like that
Look at it this way... A man and a woman have been married for 20 years. The woman used to work as a teacher before marriage but left the job to be a home maker. Now they want a divorce. The man has had a steady job for the last 20 years with promotions and everything but the woman has not. She could've been the principal of the school she used to teach, joined another school for a better salary or grew in some other way. But if she starts now, she'll have start over, she lost those 20 years, so spousal support is kind of a compensation for those 20 years
There are a lot of cases where a woman earns more than the man, in that case the woman pays spousal support
In case of child support, the child belongs to the father too and he should pay for their upbringing till they are 18
I know cases when woman pays spousal support are rare and most of the time women leave their jobs for marriage so they need money to get restarted after divorce. Its not loot but compensation for the lost years of financial independence
yes, there is nothing wrong with divorce, its high time that we start focusing on individual happiness over collective good. Thank you swaddle for speaking out on such things. I am really proud that the younger generation in our country is progressing and challenging such old notions and prioritizing individual wellbeing.
People should stop judging when it comes to divorce it's in between husband and wife societal opinions doesn't matter.
My sister is taking divorce and we all support her because he was abusive and mentally tortured her.she is a strong and independent women now and I'm proud of her.
If someone is in toxic relationship her/his parents and family should support them and pls don't say them to compromise it may cause many problems in future.
As usual good video swaddle ❤️
There's nothing wrong with divorce...india should really change its laws about it and also give women the power to divorce without needing the husband's sign!
Yeahhhhh very smart kid you are
You realise divorce is between two people?
@@zeba.subliminals no he thinks the woman is gonna divorce herself
@@JashanpreetSingh-mw5hr 😂 lol i-
@@zeba.subliminals yes but when a woman goes ahead with a divorce, the man (her husband) has to sign it as well in a way granting her permission. But when a man goes ahead with a divorce he doesn't need her signature
I just hope our generation will be the first one to bring such a good change because it's sometimes feels useless for expecting some older generations to change. Even our own parents.
She left me when i was hospitalised
Why should i deny a divorce ?
Court was so kind to me
they didnt drag it and we got divorce within 6 months and just one visit to the court..
The only sad thing about divorce is the "reason"...
It should be fair enough to convert your children to orphans
You don't necessarily have to convert them to "orphans". Co-parenting can be used and if not then becoming a single parent is an option. How are children becoming orphans?
@@taylorswiftie3069 you are right
That was not an option for me before getting married ..
If it was an option then i could've chosen that ..
@@jayeshmonlbs I m sorry for u
@@jayeshmonlbs fake story
@@adhithyanal908 LOL
You dont deserve a reply ..
The problem is marriage... Actually arranged marriage done without choices of couples... If there were love marriages that can be converted into arranged marriages then.... The divorce ration may decrease and people will live happily 😋! What you guys think about this??? 🤔👇
it doesn't make sense, lets not try to reduce divorce cases, but let people explore and realise what they want in life, some may not want marriage, some might have chosen the wrong person, some might be in abusive relationships and so on. I hope you understand
Just to be clear, the arranged in arranged marriage doesn't refer to the arrangement of a marriage ceremony, it refers to the arrangement of the union itself. It sounds like what you're suggesting is plain old love marriages where the parents only arrange the ceremony.
Wrong, actually love marriages have higher rate of divorce not because they are bad but they know when to stop adjusting and respect others feeling.
Whereas, in arranged marriages even if both of them want a divorce they probably won't, coz marriage becomes everyones business where your decision not even considered.
This is what results boomers saying arranged marriages are better coz they not getting a divorce. Even if the first case(love marriage) is better.
These are my thoughts anyway.
America has 50% divorce rate
@@sammybosak10 That is outdated data that I looked up and is from a book published two decades ago. In 2020, it was suggested the percentage has gone down to about 39%.
Just posting for information's sake.
The only thing we can interpret from this is religion directly leads to patriarchy. Atheist and humanist forever 🔥🔥
Jake apni behno ko to bacha le jihadiyo se
😂😂😂
There is no hindi word for divorce. There is Talaq in Urdu but no Hindi word. This shows divorce was such an opposed or denial practice in ancient Hindu religion. That's why even today divorce is almost a taboo😐😐
Edit: I think people interpreted my comment in a wrong manner. I am not at all against divorce. I think divorce is best rather than a toxic relation. I was just stating that in ancient Hinduism, like other religions divorce was a taboo since we have the culture of living with each other though eternity
Don't bring religion in between, plus divorce should be by a choice, we you're not happy be brave enough to make your decisions and raise your voice. We should open minded and support them if the situation gets out of hand
Well, although there is no word for divorce, chankya talks about laws or grounds on which marriage could be absolved. Though the laws are really rigorous and patriarchal. But atleast there was a provision for it. From there on we became more and more conservative for proving historical dominance by stable institutions.
Why bring religion in between? There are phrases like 'shaadi todna' and 'rishta todna' there...
Edit: a person below mentioned the word "Tyaagna". I thank him
Edit: another person mentioned "vivaah-vicched". I thank him too.
Btw hindi and "Hindu" has no relation. Hindu means the river Indus. And Hindi has no relation with hindu religion. Hindu has no language , language has no religion.
No you are wrong... divorce stands for TYAAGNA or abandon
1.Rishi Gautam abandoned his wife Ahalya after she cheated him.
2. Goddess Ganga abandoned king Shantanu after he broke the promise.
Also if Hinduism doesn't promote divorce to that extent...it also doesn't promote forced marriage or any kind of domestic violence....
In the past few days , due to some incidents I come to knew about a lot of things about my society ( the type of people and society , I m living with ) .... that just broke my trust on my own parents up to some extent .... I came knew about the condition of a very close relative ... her husband sexually abuse him everyday , her mother in law tortures her , but still she can’t complain about these things , she can’t do anything bcoz the so called izzat in this society . What she can do is to just wait for a moment when all the problems will go like a miracle ..... i came to knew about a aunt ( neighbour ) ....when her husband used to beat her with a rod ...and she told her mother about this .... U KNOW WHAT HER MOTHER SAID , she said ....even if ur husband is beating u ....even if he is abusive , u still need to live there ...... and she was favouring her son in law , not her daughter
I draw a very nice conclusion about thinking these situations , even if we are dying in our in laws family , our parents will let us die there .
I feel so sorry for her. The things she and many other women have to go through because of this "society". It's horrible that abuse is so normalized . Even my own mother tells me i have to adjust just because I'm a girl. It's just sad. I hope your relative gets out of there and divorce him.
@@user-cb7lb2rj9r ❤️
Bts army so sad 💜💜 same with my relatives but now she is divorcee becoz in her laws house her father in law and brother in law molested her and now she got threatened calls and messages to her and her son 6 years old
When a woman finally gets the courage to walk out of their miserable marriage life... Society will advise her to think about their children.. Adjust for them.. Don't makeep your child deprived of father's care.. Blah blah....
The day more and more women would be independent and would say no to mental/ physical harrasment and and suppressing their wishes, dreams and beliefs, the divorce rate would be sky high. Low divorce rate doesn't mean all is well.
When I said I wanted to get a divorce over my spouse's infidelity, almost everyone was convincing me to not do that because "men will be men, these things happen". To think the sheer amount of people who force a couple to stay together despite differences and inevitable unhappiness, it's a sign that it's less about the empathy or respect towards an individual, but more towards holding up some archaic tradition.
There are many things you should tolerate,however infidelity is not one of them
the society gaslighted me into believing Iam the one who should be at guilt. But nevertheless I stood my ground. Only thing I regret is I dont have a fortune of having a "Life Partner"
Much needed topic. Thank you for this. 👍👏👌
India is our country and all indians are brothers and sisters so no question of marriage and divorce. 😀🅰️
This channel need to grow even more.
This is the content that India needs.
Those 137 dislikes are from the uncle and aunties of the judgmental society and those serial and movie directors who tried to show divorce is a bad thing for women.
Divorce is like economic suicide for men and like winning a lottery ticket for women (alimony)..........80% divorces are initiated by women after their adultery/affairs somehow come to limelight.
@@Dolandtromm yeah I also disagree with this alimony thing. Women shouldn't take money after divorce. They need to stand on their own feet.
Divorce are low as most women are fully financially dependent on the men in my own family, when it came to divorce my mom was rejected from her own parents so my mom couldnt leave my dad also we are three children of hers
Yeah financial independence is very very important for every individual irrespective of gender.
You shouldn't be dependent on anyone else if you're eligible for earning money yourself.
We should put this in everyone's head.
It's better to live like 2 successful people that an unsuccessful couple
"beta lad ke Mt aana " is a very commen sentence for girls on their ' vidai '....but there are some hidden words - " beta Kut lena ,pit lena, ro lena pr plz yaha nhi aana"..😅😂
I sometimes wonder a thing. People marry very quickly even without knowing the other person properly. In case of love marriage too, they just get married to someone who have similar choices and stuff. Compatibility is a different thing. People should only marry when they really know someone properly. It shouldn't be like after marriage you see a new person. And arranged marriage doesn't work for all. Hope people chose a perfect person. So that you don't need to run to the court. Love is not an easy thing. Not even compatibility.
That is absolutely true.......take time, find yourself first then go on about searching your partner
my mother is a highly educated person, but she still choose to stay with her abusive husband cz "we need her husband."
Found this channel by accident, now in love with its theme of videos.
In arthashastra divorce was a civil law and woman and man can remarry from if they are not comfortable with each other to infidelity
About separation, I have seen parents sleeping in different bedrooms in the same house but refuse to divorce.
Hrithik and susanne are perfect example of healthy divorce with co parenting.
I'd like to point one thing though, divorce is not equal to women empowerment. The law has already made it easier for women to file and get a divorce. Its not so much for hindu men. Just read about the case of sandeep nahar.
How could you make a video about divorce just about women. Because both parties are equally involved. Sometimes wives are also abusive.
Definitely so true
I was scrolling through the comments to see if anyone has written anything about men. I cant understand why this divorce thing is all about empowering women. What about men?? ON the one side we say that men and women are equal and then we always blame the men in relationships. I suppose this must be the right way to achieve equality🙄🙄
As many men are stuck in bad marriages as are women. However, it is almost impossible for men to get a divorce whereas it is much easier for women to get a divorce. It is actually better for men not to marry. All the laws are blatantly in favour of women....though we all talk of equality all the time.
Sandeep Nahar is the latest example...there are 1000s of such cases. Whenever any woman commits suicide, the husband is automatically the first suspect, but not vice versa. It is almost as if men do not have any problems at all in life.😬😬
Well said, my step mom is characterless cheating my father but he don't want to take divorce because he is a man and law isn't in his favour.
टुटना ईन्सान की जिंदगी का undetachable part है.. और टुटकर फिर से जुडना ही ईन्सान के ईन्सान होने की सबसे बडी निशानी है..
"Bacho ko dekhkr adjust karna seekhlo",This statement is highly emphasised in our Indian society.Even,my mom says tha "Aurato ko adjust krna chyea,utna hawa mein nahi udna chyea,vrna husband laat markr bhaga dega",Isn't this too vile? And when I speak to them they say "Chup kar,shaadi ke baad apna zindagi sambhalna,maa baap bhi nhi dekhega"...
Small adjustments are okay but to be submissive docile like a perfect bahu is not fine..
Thanks for bringing up the topic of divorce. Besides, lack of financial independence and social stigma is also the emotional and financial investment in a marriage/ relationship that makes it difficult to divorce. For some, divorce will change life positively, but not for all. Nevertheless, none should compromise living in an abusive relationship, but divorce!
why stay in bad marriages it oftens fucks up the kids minds about what real love is???
I want you people to make video on how to raise voice against domestic violence.
Do make videos on toxic feminity and female privileges in law and social structure.
Certain mutual adjustments have to be made by both the partners in a marriage. Only then it will sustain. But, when it crosses a line, there is no shame in divorcing. That way, both of them can remain happy.
This is such an underrated channel.. We have a long long way to go. Love Swaddle!
Intro is damn !!!🔥 😁🙌🙌
Divorce rates are increasing but people are more concerned as to why women are abandoning families rather than focus on the men who leave no other option for the woman. How do u expect a woman to stay in a marriage where she is constantly abused, unhappy and mistreated by the husband and then blame her for leaving it for her own good? Having smaller divorce rates does NOT mean more happy families but instead it's just more women who silently accept their brutal fate. Maybe if we taught men how to treat women better, we wouldn't have a higher divorce rate.
I do remember when I was small I wanted to become a Divorce Lawyer but when I told that to my parents they were like if u want to become a divorce lawyer then move to west cause in India if a woman even wants a divorce she can't ask for it because she has to think of her children, her husband and her in laws too and even if she opts for it she has to listen a lot which is not easy for any woman thus many of the women opt out of divorce even if they once asked for it. I am happy that at least we are talking about the problem now at least children in future would not have to listen that women have to think so much just to get out of the relation which in some cases she didn't even want.
@@ultimate6243 do you have this copied everywhere and you’re just pasting it without understanding what it says?
@@ultimate6243 Ae tum hi hona vo log jo bolte h ki women feminism ke naam pe men hating karti h whereas khud chilla chilla ke women hating karenge women bashing karenge tab kuchh ni hota? Had h double standards ki. Yr paida hi aise double standards ke saath hote ho ya badhe hote hote maa baap sikha dete h? Ni kahe ki itna toxic hone ke liye na kisi ka influence hona ya talent hona zaroori h otherwise ho hi ni skta
@@bhavyjyotisharma3642Hi again, He is just copy pasting the same thing over and over again basically a spammer so just ingnore him
@@fahim2638 I know I found this comment under every comment. Still he needs to be answered I think cause otherwise he would think that when feminists don't have answers they just ignore. But many girls have written a lot to him I don't think he will spam this comment again
Divorce has another side also, where men are forced to pay for women even after split. Women use this as a tool to be financially free but not committed to any relationship at all, which makes it unfair for men.
Divorce se koi dekhat nhi lekin divorce me jo mera paisa jata hai usse hai ..
Loved it. This issue was something nobody in our country wants to talk about. It is high time to destigmatise Divorce and break down the pretense of Sanskar
My sister had a divorce she's happily married now.
in the Indian society domestic abuse and adultery towards female is normalised and accepted but if she files for a divorce suddenly it's her fault aah the irony
I am not exactly against divorce and i believe that an abusive marriage should be terminated, but divorce should be tha last option in any relationship. Petty reasons and ego should not ge the reason for breaking a sacred knot.
I was thinking about having a debate with parents about divorce being normal and here u present me this video.
Finally the first!!❤️
Love your content swaddle, keep up the good and thought provoking work!!
3rd, actually
But congrats
"religions prioritize institutional sanctity over the well-being of individuals"
literally the reason I'm an agnostic
Nowadays divorce is like a hobby for "SOME" women. Many men & women genuinely opt for divorce because of the differences between them but I've seen with my own eyes a few women opt for divorce just for the alimony. Somebody I know had shifted to Canada for his job and was about to take his wife within a year after he settled there, the wife on the other hand had an affair with her husband's friend and the next time her husband visited India she demanded a divorce the husband couldn't even realize what happened and even after 3 years cries for his wife. In another case a woman demanded for a divorce with 4 months of her marraige just because she wanted her husband to leave his own parents and live separately with her and the husband disagreed obviously because he didn't want to leave his old parents.
Some divorce cases are genuine but some are just an excuse for women to extract money from their husbands. The video here says that mostly independent woman opt for divorce but those independent woman only ask for huge sum of alimony.
P.S- I'm from the same Northeast whose example you gave to show the divorce rate and the 2 incidents which I stated above happened here itself.
@@jaideepneela2050 ya which is why I wrote SOME in bold letters.
This video could not have come out on a better day #prayersforAyesha
This over thinking series is BOMB
This is not overthinking, this is important thinking!
Divorce are bad coz it allows women's to Live life according to them pr fir LOG KYA KHENGE?
The bad like thing is not in a divorce but it is in the thinking and bloody mindsets .....
True
@@user-cb7lb2rj9r yes 😇
When I see ur videos I just feel empowered
They: "What's so bad about divorce".
Me: "Alimony and false charges."
But, I am not able to get married itself as I don't have government job. Then there is no chance of Divorce.
Demand the government to set up industries and companies instead of playing politics.
But I have seen many men getting married without govt. Jobs.
By the chain of thought you're following half of India's male population would need government jobs. Logical?
No joba who said just give 100 % hard work bro 💪 u will get job
this channel deserves more than 10 mil subs
I would like to highlight if a women gets divorced then there are less chances of getting married again in our present society and also parents want to distance themselves from her and consider her burden and feel ashamed "hme khi muh dikhane layak nhi chorda" which is not the case for men even if divorced they live in their house with family also parents would cover saying the girl was bad and get sympathy from society and remarriage proposals so girls not only lose a marriage they lose respect in society and love of family .
Do u even think that a person would like to get married again if he/she takes divorce? Like why would one do the same mistake again. Mostly ppl who opt for divorce never like to get married again. So the chance doesn't even matter
@@bhavyjyotisharma3642 marriage is not a mistake marriage with wrong person is a mistake and we humans learn from our mistakes and correct them that is what life is about learning from mistakes
@@ambikajha6339 but ppl who get divorced ones don't like to get married again and it's understandable too, even when a kid burn his finger he stays away from fire that's a human nature still some ppl believe in marriage and love so much that they do it again and get success in it so congrats to them but it's not easy to forget everything for such ppl and move on with someone else.
@@bhavyjyotisharma3642 remarry or not remarry is individual choice
@@ambikajha6339 exactly, that's what I wanted to tell u. Ppl can even choose not to marry it's not compulsory that once u r divorced u have to find a groom/bride for urself
Please make a video about women having the right to choose whether or not to have kids and how a woman choosing not to have kids is considered to be an outcast or abnormal in our society 😐
Mam plz one video on fake domestic violence cases misuse of articles plz against mens
Your scripts are so well written ... I can not even imagine how much time it takes for you to study the topic and make the script. And you add such nice clips and pictures in the video ... I love it
_I hereby, request all the subscribers of this channel to IGNORE the Comments made by_ *Rajeev Ranjan, Sudarshan Chakra 3.0*
They are here to just create negativity and they Enjoy receiving angry comments from your side..😊
*Trust me I have seen a pattern. They do this to get an EGO boost (P.S. not just on this channel, Do this at ALL channel)*
May be they are spammer
Let's talk about alimony and how an educated woman needs half of her husband's assets after the divorce. Article 498A ?
I don't relate as I am not a straight *Indian.*
✨👠✨
Same! I am ace! You?
@@swanandab2484 Ay! I'm aro!
@@anatine_banana_69 Cool!
@Jay Yadav yeaa, but there are asexuals and aromantics too so...
@Jay Yadav They can. If they want to
People think 'what will happen to children'
Why can't they have two different happy families rather than 1 unhappy one
And what are its impacts? It's okay in special cases but it's just not prefered