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An Important Message To "flawed" Artists (Gouache Portrait Painting Process)
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- Опубликовано: 14 авг 2024
- Glad to be back! ;) I am giving you an insight into my thoughts about feeling flawed as an artist and how you can maybe learn to change the narrative and embrace your artistic flaws. This video is about acceptance for who you are as a creative. I talk about all that while painting a female portrait with traditional gouache. I will use some acrylic gouache for fixing mistakes as well as coloured pencils for final touches and to add texture. It was fun recording the painting process for you. Thank you all for all your support btw, it means the world to me.
// How I plan and prepare a Painting //
▶️ • My Full Painting Proce...
// ART SUPPLIES //
- Canson XL Watercolour Sketchbook Paper
- Holbein Gouache
- Winsor & Newton Designers Gouache
- Schmincke HKS Gouache
- Caran D'ache Luminance Colored Pencils
- Polychromos Faber Castell Coloured Pencils
- Holbein Coloured Pencils
- Vallejo Acrylic Artist Ink Copper
- Holbein Acryla Gouache
- Turner Acryl Gouache
- ShinHan Poster Colours
- Princeton Select Brushes
- Rosemary & Co. Brushes
00:00 Intro
01:02 Social Media Detox
02:34 Analyzing Your Art
04:35 Inspiration
05:53 My Insecurities
13:46 Change The Narrative
14:21 Finished Piece & Edits
// MUSIC //
[www.artlist.io]
// ABOUT ME //
I am Monika (but most people call me Moni, pronounced Mo-knee) and I am a Berlin, Germany based certified Graphic Designer. I currently have a day job as a Personal Assistant and dream of becoming a full time freelance artist. At the moment I prioritize studies, improving my skills and finding my artistic voice.
+++ Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with or sponsored by any of the brands / companies mentioned, shown or listed both in this video as well as in the description. This video is not sponsored.
// MY INSTAGRAM - LET'S CONNECT //
@monidmajor
Business inquiries: DM me on Instagram
From your very first background texture laid down, I was so mesmerized. I love your style, video and art alike. I love that you release videos like rare gems, so that I feel like I’m getting a gift when you pop up in my feed. I loved these insights and as always loved your painting, your delicious relaxing voice, and your thoughts! I love that you put your gorgeous art up in your studio! ❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️
You made me feel so much better there about my inconsistent release of videos, Maggie! It means so much to me that YOU liked it, too! You definitely inspire me and you are not someone who makes me question myself all the time, you enable people to feel good about their art and have fun and when I feel like shit I always think of or go back to your videos! Thank you so so much!!! ❤️💕
I think the painting is lovely. I love her sleeves!
Thank you, Jessica! The sleeves were the most fun part so I really appreciate it :)
I always value the time I spend on a piece more the final piece itself, I have a lot of favorite pieces and sketches just because when I look at them ot reminds of how much fun I had working on it or how happy I was during that time. When I noticed how social media made me feel bad about my progress or what I like to draw I immediately disabled my account. It saved so much time, made me less stressed and appreciate my time creating art much more. I'm glad that you found what stress you about your art and thank you for sharing your views with us 💖💖💖
So glad to hear that disabling your social media worked for you and that it enabled you to enjoy your creativity so much more!
Be the artist you are! Do not listen to others….the only way to find your way is to listen to yourself. You are a wonderful artist! Keep it up!
What a lovely portrait and such an important message!
Thanks so much for your kind words, Merete!
This was so relatable and you put it all so eloquently! Your process is beautiful, I love your work. I have such guilt for not working on my own practice often enough and then suffer from imposter syndrome when I create. Thank you for such an important message!
Gemma, still so shocking to hear others can relate with my deep thoughts and struggles (not easy to be vulnerable in public!). I almost didn’t upload this video but what I said is dear to my heart and I’m so glad you enjoyed it considering it’s not one of my popular videos. Hearing how you feel, how many of us feel, that helps me so much and I hope it helps others, too.
Omg you have a youtube channel! And wow, your feelings on not creating enough resonate so strongly with me. There is always so much more I could be doing for my business. I love this painting, the muted colors are so visually pleasing and her eyes are so expressive and inviting ❤
Such great messages, Moni. Love it. ♥️
Wow, Miranda, I am honored! Thank you so much! 💕
Please don't underestimate yourself or your talent. You are awesome and your work is amazing. Many of us (me included) would love to be at your level. I understand your journey and how tough that inner critic can be. I would love to be able to do what you do, but most of what comes out of my brushes are abstract, fantasy landscapes. I too have to stop comparing myself to others' journeys and remember to enjoy the process and let it be what it's going to be. Thank you, Moni for sharing your journey.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Wow, you are really inside my head. I have the same issues! Your art is beautiful, and so are you, inside and out.
You are so welcome! Crazy to think it’s more relatable than I thought, wasn’t easy to share all this but I am glad I did now. Thank you so so much, Tracie
That's was beautiful, what you said, what you painted. My studio is filled with plants, especially small cuttings, they remind me that the world and all it's electronic gadgets, have given rise to a demand on us for results at the speed of light... And whilst our imagination is vast and capable to traversing universes of ideas, our bodies are still connected to the earth where we have come from... Plants, and us are bound to the speed of life. As an artist to want to explore and share the big ideas is a challenge when we must also balance the reality of our humanness. But that's the beauty and the responsibility of the life we have been given ❤️
Beautifully said! Yes, we as a society have adapted this dopamine rush on demand kinda mindset and we as creatives can get overwhelmed with ideas that we would love to explore and execute right here and now, it really is a challenge. I love your phrase „balancing the reality of our humanness“ while also challenging ourselves and do great things. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Relatable. Honest. Authentic. The struggle is real. Permission to do the things that make us actually happy is what I have to remind myself over and over. I love details and flowing with my own rhythm. I paint at night cos the house is quiet. That makes me out of synch with day time but it's what works for me. It's taking me so long to figure out these things about myself and accept my own preferences when it comes to art. Thanks for being transparent. It was encouraging to hear from someone else who shared similar struggles.
Thank you so much for letting me know how it is for you and that you find my struggles relatable. I relate so much with liking to be creative at night time (or very early mornings for me), when things are quiet. When I film for RUclips I sometimes find myself frustrated because I don't have sufficient lighting and I have no choice but painting at daytime even though it is not my preference. Especially in the afternoon hours I feel really weak. But like I said, these days when I feel that way I just step away and try to continue the next day, in hopes I will have more energy. What you said about reminding ourselves to do the things that makes us happy, I think it is something you do not just do from today onwards , you really gotta remind yourself. The more mindful you are the easier it gets but we gotta be gentle to ourselves when we stray a little. Again, thank you for sharing!
Your not alone, I can so relate to your struggle. I have 45 years of art behind me and have found that I look at each piece of work as a learning exceedance and enjoy my process of creating with no time limit. I am sure you too will learn to enjoy process and be in the flow more as you grow.
Thank you, Kathy, this means a lot and confirms I am on a much better path now. Have a fantastic sunday :)
I so very much agree with you! The moment that I started considering social media and posting was the moment my art turned against me. I noticed a massive change in the way I paint my subjects and it was all about creating reels ( have not figured that out! ) or perfect posts ! And then no likes and follows 😂 which of course means that my art is not good enough translating to ‘I am not good enough’. There are no golden rules I think and we all have to find our way appreciating our relationship with art rather than pushing our social media personas! I decided not to count anymore but I am still working on trying not to compare my art to others. ❤
So, so, so well said! I relate. I pretty much abandoned Instagram for that very reason, all the reels makes it look like we are all failures if we are not content creation machines, and maybe you noticed but I also don’t post very often here on RUclips, even though I love the community we have. If I was to upload a video weekly that would maybe help to become a better video editor and who knows maybe even gain me fame but it’s not possible and it would be at the cost of my health and artistic growth. Artists, not „content creator“, will always have a hard time on social media because it‘s no press record and be done in less than an hour kinda thing. Knowing this we can maybe somehow find peace with that and appreciate the enjoyment in just the art process and growth, without all the stress that comes with social media. It’s hard not to compare, though, I get it. But we are humans, not machines. Just because some artists somehow manage to gain fame or whatever doesn’t mean that they are actually happy.
@@MoniDmajor loving your channel so far ♥️ thank you for sharing g these thoughts with us as I thought it was only me! 🥰
@@PanayiotaJulieAlevizou So much thank you! And I thought the same, look around, all the comments here, so many people feel this way!
Thank you for making the decision to share all of those thoughts with us, I have the same struggles and even stopped uploading on social media for more than a year now. Your authenticity is like a breath of fresh air and the presentation is as beautiful and relaxing as ever. The artwork came out beautifully, the muted color palette is exactly my go-to at the moment.
Oh I remember how you told me about using a lot of blues and hot pinks and I was like hell, yes! And now we both dig more muted colours at the moment 😂 Anyway, super glad that you appreciate my openness and it's a relief to hear social media burnout is real. Thank you so much for your kindness, Magenta, you always leave such nice messages on my channel ❤️
Thank you for your openness, your honesty and sharing your beautiful art.
Thank you so much for making me feel more relaxed about being vulnerable :)
Thank you for this honest video. It’s such a breath of fresh air and a much needed break from the videos that insist that you have to step out of your comfort zone all the time. Like you, I also pushed myself constantly to try and learn different subjects, styles, and media even if I wasn’t necessarily drawn to them. But I recently decided that it’s ok not to be good at everything and to let myself create the things that I actually love and that make me happy. Like you said, some artists have built their career on that, so why would we not be allowed to do the same? As someone who suffers from fatigue due to a chronic illness I wholeheartedly applaud the case you make for taking things slow and honouring your body. Your video made my day!❤ Thank you for making the world a more beautiful place with your inspiring content and lovely art.
All the "you should do/try XYZ" and "how to grow your following / better your skills" content just got tiring and confusing. It is awesome it exists and I am certain it is helpful to a lot of people but the more I have it being thrown at me the more likely I am to neglect my own needs. It was to the point I was not even consuming it, just seeing the titles felt like such a burden being put on me. I applaud you for your decision to pursue happiness and it is so good to hear I am not the only one who suffers with chronic illnesses and who wants to make it a priority to honour your body that carries you through life. Super greatful to receive comments like yours, Kirsten, thank you so much you took the time! ❤️
I specifically like your art because it is the opposite of what you described in the beginning. It's not odd or a coincidence that in this quick paced world that intuitive, quick, loose art is at the forefront. People forget or don't understand that slow and deliberate artists that plan and think things out still exist to such a degree that they think all art is made in a 30 minute frenzy. These are not flaws, the masters took years and years on a single painting.
Also, there isn't enough conversation around the idea we all have our natural way of doing things and no matter how much you try to change it you will never quite get there because it's not how your brain thinks. I will never be a loose artist, even though I can approximate the style, but it's simply not my nature and it is better that I nurture what does come naturally to me.
Your art is wonderful.
Edit: I also disagree with the constant pressure to learn something different and take yourself out of your comfort zone, as if that is the only way to grow. Life changes everyone as we go through it, and your art will change and grow with you whether you like it or not. Like dang, let people calmly enjoy art and not constantly feel like they are not doing enough. I think that narrative comes from people that have a hard time focusing on something for an extended period of time and need to hop around, but should never be applied to all artists. Some of us can hold still and like doing so.
I don’t even know where to start, everything you said there I can sign! It is true that people these days with all the TikToks and super quick art reels are getting the idea that this is how it’s supposed to be (and that it’s even possible, they are edited and who knows how long it really took). I get deceived or confused by it myself despite knowing better, and even though it is entertaining to consume these things they also just contribute to swipe culture and low attention spans with a want for instant gratification, the exact opposite of mindfulness. Anyway, thanks so much for your encouragement and all the truth bombs! Have a great sunday ☀️
Lovely, honest and encouraging voice over, well done! Would have never guessed you had trouble deciding what to talk about. Love seeing you push and pull fix and hone as ur work ur way through painting!
Thank you! Oh, actually I considered to talk about it but I was a little worried people would find it too rambly and it felt a little scary to be vulnerable but it makes me so happy that you find it encouraging!
Glad to see you pop up on my homescreen! Your artwork is beautiful. All of it, the old and the new are far better than I think you can see for yourself. You are such an inspiration to me and I hope you start feeling less blue. Thank you for making this video! Your message here is so true. The world has become too fast and hectic and its so hard on our minds. We need to be kinder to ourselves
Magdalene, I agree with you! More kindness and less pressure on ourselves. It’s not easy to not be deterred by things around us but it is so important! Thank you so much for your kind words and your encouragement, I am so glad you enjoyed the video and that you found it inspiring!
Really interesting to see how you work and hear how you feel about your art! I was really inspired by the choices you made painting this piece. Especially the hints of coral and how they work with the other colors here, really enchanting. Also the choice to portray patterned historical clothing was really cool!
Also I especially love how expressive the face is ❤️
It's an interesting mix of emotions and has me curious what she's thinking of, or looking at here.
I feel like she's exhausted but in a way that makes me feel like she's not defeated but has lots of resentment and fire lurking under that fairly calm expression.
Btw, the lack of confidence you talked about, and the standards you set on yourself - definitely resonated with me.
Btw listening to you talk of your lack of confidence felt kinda bizarre because to me you are actually one of those artists that has me feeling inferior!
Even though I try to say to myself that I don't need to be able to do the same things you can, as we all have our own unique artistic styles and strengths, and that variety in expression is what makes art so magical.
I like so many different kinds of artists and genres, and could not decide which one is my favorite even if my life depended on it 😅!
Hello Moni D Major! Nice to see video from you. Your artwork is stunning! Thank you for sharing your art and thoughts with us. I am the main ‘consumer’ of my own art. I share some of it in FB groups but not anywhere else. I prefer to pace myself (slow pace) because for me art is not my bread and butter, for me art is fun and art is therapy. ❤️❤️❤️
Shadow Guard, I am glad that you liked this video! Also, thanks for sharing how you deal with social media and how you have created a comfort bubble around art, just for yourself!
@@MoniDmajor 🤩 you’ve hit the nail on the head!
Art is a journey. theres no wrong or right way of doing things. its just you. each peace is apart of you. we all go through comparing ourselves with others. but that keep us from being who we truly are. Dont be afraid to show who you are dont be afraid to be just you. you have a community who love do what you do.
Aww Moni, we have so much in common 😅... I'm sending you a big hug! I tell you what! Despite your daily struggles, responsibilities and a that "darkness" the world throws at you... In your creative space you are free. You are allowed to feel free, you are allowed to make your art how you feel best. It might not be perfect, it might not be exactly the way you want it but this is your safety space... Saying this, I too struggle. It's not easy switching your mind after a demanding day at work, it's hard to combat jealousy at times... And it feels demotivating, when you are not able to produce enough (I'm so slow with my paintings too), or you feel like you are not creative enough... All in all... You are not alone and never let go of the person you are! You are doing great! 💜
edit: Dang, I just realised we're both Polish 😅...
Aww, Aneta! Thanks for commenting, that way I found your channel! Gladly taking yxour hugs and sending a thousand hugs back your way from Berlin ❤️ You are right about having the right to freedom of choosing how we want to answer our creative needs. It helps tremendously hearing I am not the only one. Thank you so so much for this wonderful comment! Całuski 😘
I almost always "cheat" and render my illustrations digitally! 🙃 Every artist do it because, as you perfectly said, we can't stop looking for some struggles and defects in our creations. It's just a way of improvement. I encourage your to keep making those mistakes 😊❤
Mistakes are super important yet it still pisses us off when they happen. But as you said, that's how we improve so every mistake leads to growth! Thank you so much for your comment and keep "cheating", do whatever pleases you and works for you! ❤️
love it! 🙌
Danke, Alpay 🙌
Great video! I loved seeing the piece come together. And it's scary how much I relate to your thoughts! It's like hearing myself haha. Creating art is such a personal and moody process and it's great to hear your honest thoughts about it. I hope you come out of it realizing your art is beautiful and that there is always a space for it.
Awww, N1MH! ❤️ and this coming from you, your skills are goals! Your art is so incredibly beautiful, it's quite a shocker to hear you can relate with my thoughts! It sure makes me feel better, though, and I appreciate your kindness so much. Thank you and hugs ❤️
@@MoniDmajor Ah sorry a bit late. Thank you so much for your kind words!! 😭 I guess we're both being a bit too hard on ourselves ♥Hugs!
Thank you for sharing 🙏
Oooh my goodness!! I legit just recorded a voiceover for something yesterday that echos a lot of the same things you said… (I PROMISE I’m not copying!) 😭😂 I absolutely loved this so much. Maybe my favorite point you made though, was to ask yourself, is this fun? I love your art, too; it’s all so beautiful. I’m so glad to know about you and your channel! 💖
I found that since I have been taking real life art classes at a university my confidence has improved so much. My art is still my art and not akin to the perfect art you see on instagram but it’s helped me to open up, try new things and trust that I’ll get there with practice. In my experience no artist is truly showing their full process online and therefore comparing yourself is always going to make you feel inadequate. Every artist has an ugly sketchbook 😂
Also if you want to loosen up try to draw your sketch in paint. It’s uncomfortable but freeing. Painting standing up at an easel also helps!
I loved this video Moni, thank you!So very relatable. I often wish I could paint faster to ‘keep up’ with the fast train that is social media but like you said, maybe we’re not slow- maybe everything else is just too fast! Anyway, I like the scenic route and want to enjoy the journey! 💕🥰🌸
Sarah, I am glad you also feel everything's too fast, I am still surprised more people relate than I thought. We can't change what's around us and it is pointless to be creative and make art but in a way that doesn't suit us. Maybe we can make a change by not adapting to "rules" that contribute burnout. Thanks so much for letting me know you enjoyed it and you have a new sub! ❤️
@@MoniDmajor thank you so much 🥰
Me too i tried to make like others, at first, by watching too much what they created, and trying to do the same style. But finally i found my style and the technics i love. I connected to myself even more, so now i'm able to create my own art. It's very important. We see so many differents artists, each contributes to the world with their differences. But at contrary, i couldn't stand artists that make the same things as others (millions of followers for those who draw disney princess, while it's not innovating at all, and it's copying the art of someone's else, or kpop, manga drawings and else). I think that art is about listening to our inner voice and contributes with what we are. Not as the society or others want us. Otherwise, it serve to nothing to create what others do, because it brings nothing new. So yes, you're right, we should encourage and listen to our inner voice and uniqueness.
I related way too hard with almost everything you said 😂. I often admonish myself for relying on references, but the “masters” used references all the time, their references just happen to be sitting right in front them lol. Plus, unless I’m just doing studies, most of my references are my own photos so anyone that has a problem with it can stuff it ❤
I am so shocked you relate so hard, from the outside it looks like all comes so easy to you! I guess it goes to show when we see someone super skilled and talented we tend to think it‘s always second nature and easy af. Regarding references, I always like to compare it to music. People play other people’s songs or do cover songs all the time and it’s never frowned upon. Just like you can’t learn musical skills without hearing how else are we supposed to build a visual library? I applaud you for using your own reference shots and being inspired by your kids, Natasha, it pays off because it makes your art so vivid and delightful
I love your painting! And putting up your paintings is a great idea, they're so beautiful and make for a cosy atmosphere. I love all the patterns tbh and don't find anything too busy. 😍 I think you should consider selling prints, stickers, tapes... A stream of income from your art might lets you reduce your hours at your job, gather experiences and have more time for yourself or your art?
I totally feel your need for purging the social media toxicity. For me it became a little easier, when I realised, that I'm *not* comparing myself to people / artists here, but BRANDS (which are full-time businesses often enough). The content I consume is a product. A human in it's complexity will always appear flawed and lacking, compared to polished products. That's the whole point of the thing, to make it desirable and make us consume products. That's capitalism. And at the end of the day, I doubt that experienced entrepreneurs consume a lot of social media. Why would the CEO of a company, constantly look into or wear a product from a "rivaling" company. They focus most of their energy on how to bring their business forward, gather inspiration where they get fired up instead of slowed down and look into their target audience.
Anyways! Take care of yourself and thanks for the lovely video! 🥰
Anavien, so much thank you for everything you said! It is good to hear more people can relate with social media having toxic aspects as well. You not only supporting me with your kind comments but also saying you would consider buying art goodies means the world to me! That would be a dream, but as it is now with depression it’s too much of a burden to only think of anything like this. It’s actually a huge chunk of videos I‘ve been avoiding all the how to generate income / grow your audience as an artist types, because as a depressed person it all feels insurmountable at the moment. I am trying to keep everything as low pressure as possible but don’t feel bad for even suggesting it, please, it means so much to me! Maybe it’s my insufficient language skills but do I understand you correctly about artists vs. brands? Are you referring to some artists as brands because they market themselves more than they are genuine authentic artists who are flawed? Or are you referring to actual brands how they operate on social media and how that makes you feel?
@@MoniDmajor A coin always comes with two sides - the happiness of knowing there are customers out there, waiting to give your art a home, but also the pressure of knowing it's not possible, while being in a bad health condition. Trust your gut instincts. You know yourself and your capabilities best. And right now your health needs you. I wish you all the best and send strength your way. ❤
About Artists / Brands: Artists that have an art business are creating a brand with their art and often themselves too. It means they are both, but not always at the same time.
We all know art youtuber. Some never show their face and keep everything light hearted and about the art. Some show themselves and their rooms and share their deep thoughts. Some create an inspirational/motivational vibe with that and others create a more deep/wise image, etc.
And we all know, that they're not always - 24/7 - as they appear in the video. It's a part of them, sure. But it becomes a "brand" very soon. The difference is consistency. When they've gained a certain traffic, their drive will overall remain the same, while they refine things over time to adjust more to their core "customers".
You can compare that to your professional "persona" at work. We turn off certain aspects of our personality, or rather push them back, because they're not required or would even interfere. Our colleagues will also compare themselves to us and often others appear more competent than oneself. And that is, because you don't know the rest of the story. Whether it's artists online, or our co-workers, we never really see all of it, which is perfectly fine & healthy. But we always have the "full experience" / the "full story" of ourselves - with our flaws and our strengths, our thoughts and doubts. And thus we almost always seem inferior to others.
And at the same time this is so unfair to ourselves. Because we compare all of us to only a "polished part" of someone else they only have to maintain for a couple hours a day.
With social media it's much worse, because we never have access to "more". For example, we'll all see and reveal bad days to colleagues. Following someone on social media means we're building a somewhat false connection with someone and think we know them, relate to them, but the content creator doesn't know "you". (Parasocial relationship)
And so we consume hours of content, of "polished" and dialed down people and think we're crazy, flawed and completely wrong. Whereas when we used to hang out with our friends non stop in our teens (before social media was a thing, lol), we were all "crazy" and "stupid" sometimes.
To bring this damn long comment to an end, let me give you another example. We all know that instagram pictures are often heavily photoshopped, posed to look even better, etc. That is the equivalent to basically all content on social media. A couple hours of video material cut down to 10-30 minutes is the equivalent to a couple seconds of sucking in one's belly to look skinnier. And when our fav artist posted a new painting, we don't know how many times they were about to give up that painting, if their hair was greasy and how terribly they sung along to Britney Spears.
So you must not compare yourself to other social media content of other artists, because it's "a sucked in and photoshopped belly" (not demeaning btw. we all have to live off of something!!). 🤣
Missed you 💕
Oh my god, thank you Angel, I wasn't sure my absence got noticed! ❤️ Thank you for watching and have a wonderful weekend!
At least you are perfectionist who takes actions. I know many people who don't. I just go with what I got and what I can, it takes time to learn and honestly not everybody have the brain ability to become the perfect artist. I see what you are saying. Lately I was thinking about starting the sketchbook just for me, I have a lot of thoughts not appropriate to share in social media, but I still want to track them.
Julia, I love the “Sketchbook” just for me idea so much. It’s the same mindset why I’m considering to have a second “secret” instagram sketch account I am not promoting so I can document and keep track of the things that are “inappropriate” but still important to our overall growth! The perfectionism of mine is very much connected to my high anxiety (that is almost disorder levels) and that’s why I most times indeed do not take action, you know. Perfection is so subjective, though. A lot of the fancy art vloggers out there are perfect to the point I am bored and not invested and I hope I will never end up in this drawer myself (hence why I avoid making art vlogs despite people asking for them). You are definitely a very good artist who is also skilled in various mediums. But what is even more important is that you do what feels good and right for you, regardless of numbers or capabilities. Because you can be good at something and still not enjoy it :)
yep your rules and can do what ever you want with it 🙂 but honestly wouldn't have even known anything was off with the lips until you said so😜
Dear Moni, You're not the only one with a tendency for strings of negative thoughts. I wholeheartedly recommend You to try listening to positive affirmations by Louise Hay here on RUclips while You're painting and editing. The hardest thing is to actually paint anything at all and You are already doing that 🎉the rest is just finding out what You find enjoyable and appealing, no burden in that. All the best ❤
Its great to have you back! I know exactly how you feel and perhaps the best cure is to continue ❤
I think I need to buy the brush you use for the shadows. The effect is so neat 😊
This type of brush is underrated! It is less effective for watercolours I find but perfect for something less watery, like Gouache for instance :) And I love your short and simple statement, the best cure is to continue, indeed! We just gotta keep doing what makes us happy! Thank you so so much
@@MoniDmajor I struggle with the insecurities myself and the imposter syndrom, but painting makes me happy, so I try to take the bad with the good :)
Thank you for this❤️, if I could put everything that goes through my mind and feel, it would be everything you said in this video.
It is still a shocker to me that there are many out there who can relate in one way or another. Thank you so much for having watched this and shared your thoughts, Lisette, it means a lot 🥹
@@MoniDmajor it seems as if I been dealing with everything you talked about in this video during the same period as you. Thank you for sharing this so others such as myself know they aren't alone in feeling this way. It's comforting to know that someone understands (though of course, I would rather you not have to experience it). Sorry for blathering on 😅
I somehow almost missed this video!! I now have the bell on, so you will never sneak past me again!! As far as imposter syndrome goes, I have finally gotten to a point where I like 90% of my finished pieces. I feel pretty confident with my skills. BUT!! Why don't more people subscribe to my channel? Do i need to just do watercolor every week? Why don't people buy more of my art and my prints? Do I need to do different art that people like more? And the answer is no. Of course no. I'm going to do whatever I feel like on my channel, from painting to sculpting to diorama, and I have some other, more out there stuff planned. I'll do whatever art I like, to the best of my abilities. The subs and the sales will come or not. I'm going to live my artistic life as an artist who loves and accepts herself. Or at least, that's the plan. It's definitely hard not to compare yourself to others!!!
Annie, I said it before and I’ll say it again here: I admire you for being so diverse in your creativity and I love what you create! Your skills are impressive and as a person you are just so friggin likeable, your laugh is contagious and your authenticity is what differentiates you from many other artists who put themselves out there! I felt like crap that one day and then I binge watched your videos and you made my day! Not some big art youtuber with a huge following, you! So glad you wanna keep doing what you wanna do!
@@MoniDmajor oh wooooowwww!! I can't even tell you how much this means to me. I took a screenshot of this, and I'm going to put it on my editing desk for the days when I wonder if it's worth it to work this hard to get these videos out. ❤️
I have this very strange feeling when watching this, t was like watching myself in the mirror. but BECAUSE it wasn't me, i started thinking about your (and my) struggles more logically. It seems like there is tendecy with us to be stuck in our heads, and talk ourself out of things because (long story short) we feel we are not good enough and the goal of the GREATNESS is working against what we are trying to achieve. I've been wondereing this about _you_, but now im realising i should try it myself, whether setting different goals would be helpful, for example ar making being fun/problem solving , rather just being great. It's crazy you put so much pressure on yourself while having a job, I do too, however mine is artsy (graphic design) and while the feelings of being inadequate dont go away, i dont get this stuck at work just because i have people to talk me out of my perfectionism and I'm most satisfied when i just solved a problem with my project, not just doing art for it's own sake. So i problem solve at work and try to make art to be relaxed. But i do understand how hard it is to not go into this spiral of wanting to do for a living and not living up to your own expectations of what it would be like. I'm in that spiral way too often. I keep my fingers crossed for you! Your absence has been noticed, you;ve been missed! Im really happy to see this piece and how it reflects your emotions, because if you can make something sad into something this beautiful that's art!
Mald, I also have a background in Graphic Design but I quit it since I got told on a daily that my "artistry" doesn't sell. I hope that it's different for you and that it is fulfilling and works well as a creative outlet! Your words really touched me, you have no idea what a relief this is hearing I am maybe not odd and that what I said is somewhat relatable. Thank you for taking your time to watch and comment and I hope trying out setting different goals will lead to fullfillment and fun in your creative endeavors outside of work! ❤️
@@MoniDmajor I'm so sorry they've said that to you! I hate when they say that. I actually have no problem with work environment because for first time in my life I don't feel like I'm being judged by my artistry (thus ME as a person), but it's JUST work - im just trying to solve riddles of how to show something so people would understand, and i don't have to give away my feelings, my heart to strangers. It's nothing personal. On the other hand exposing myself with my art and what i really feel and want is a big struggle for me because that's when i get stuck the most and people no longer judge my work but me as person. Because when i really want to show myself, what if it turns that my best isnt good enough? what if my technique is bad?! what if the story im telling is boring? what is the point if other people are better?! So... EXACTLY what you've been talking about in your video! This is why I'm so touched by the vulnerability you showed in this video, because i know how hard and exposing it can feel, but I just want you to know you made my life better by uploading this video and I'll be ALWAYS rooting for you! :)
@@mald379 Im reading this at work now, mals and have no time to respond proper but just know I got teary eyed there and super greatful, you are right being vulnerable in the public ain’t easy at all and it was scary but now I am glad I said what was important to me.
My problem is I can't seem to allow myself time to make my art without feeling guilty,
Awww, Suzanne... may I ask why it makes you feel guilty? Is it because of famaily or work, because others demand your time?
I hope you're fine, and just taking a break.