How Does A Narcissist Deal With The Death of THEIR ‘Loved’ One - (Part 2)
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- Narcissists are forever out of necessity opportunistic and use any and every significant occasion to gain control and draw in narcissistic supply. When their ‘loved one’ family member, spouse, or close friend dies narcissists grieve in a totally different manner to that of a normal healthy well regulated human being. The event becomes a self referencing opportunity to manipulate for the maximum amount of attention and increase in out put of services to the narcissist. The passing of a close associate of every covert narcissist is indeed viewed as a loss that must therefore be transformed into a gain and the situation must be controlled as a consequence of their black and white thinking, and turned around. Their lack of empathy is not always apparent as the narcissists grieving process can appear genuine without a closer look at behaviour motivation. As per educational material related to common behaviour patterns of narcissists at recurring life events.
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How they deal with it? They don't!
Pt.1: they'll use it against you
Pt.2: they'll use it to play the victim
There's no loved one's in their life. They love themselves. It's only an inconvenience for them. Shallow as shallow can be.
I went out drinking when my mom died. My relationship to her was fractured and she was abusive. My family seemed to harbour animosity when she died and told me I wasn’t allowed to be at her cremation because I disclosed abuse and therefore might have an outburst. My mom used to allow an older brother to beat me. My family allowed him to control the end of life process and got him to talk behind my back because I said I hated what my mom did to me and others.
They completely cut me off. It was honestly awful but at least I know for certain they don’t care and want me to be responsible for what he did to me.
I hear you, my friend 😑
I never understood that behavior until my SIL moved near me. I just chalked it up to my crazy family. When you research Narcissism it's amazing to see the same patterns over and over again. My mother would joke about how they knew it was morning when they heard my older sister slamming my head against the wall. If you were the scapegoat and it definitely sounds like you were, it was probably because you were the kindest and most normal person in the family. I recently had to decide to let my mother die alone. After a lifetime of abuse, gasslighting and manipulation, she deserves what she gets. She cut me off for 6 years and then pretended it was bad phone service. However it does hurt and always will.
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That’s my mother!
I’ve lost my father in December but it’s all about her!
My Dad was 94 he suffered a long illness I arranged carers 4 times a day, my mother was clueless,she was out and about at every opportunity, my father wanted to remain at home in Lancashire I live in Wales!
His last few days were lovely I spent the time with him it was difficult to keep my mother in the room, very odd but I managed to get her there in the end and he passed away very peacefully, he was conscious until the end!
The funeral- there was no input from my mother she just turned up!
She talk’s about him then twist’s it that I talk about him and I keep upsetting her!
She cuts through conversations with people to grab the attention on her loss at every opportunity with strangers!
She’s triangulating me with my Niece!
I’m an empath and a Retired nurse I suffer with fibromyalgia/ME chronic fatigue!
My mother doesn’t see my illness at all!
Her behaviour is very needy- but is shopping on her own and going to her social clubs with no problem 😸🤣
It was a nightmare when my mom, the last parent passed on. My brother took control of everything, tried to off me, was executor, hid assets, denied my mothers will in many ways, denied me my tightful share willed share, tried to steal my home, is still trying behind scenes, denied me mych needed assets to deal with health and hospitalizations, all very methodical, cslculated, and most likely planned far ahead. I also strongly suspect he denied my mother life saving care and interventions as he fid with my father. He then proceeded to financially screw around hus wife in separation. Played the victim while giving eulogy at my moms funeral, when nobody else was around, he constantly put her down, called her stinky old lady, etc. Plus, it appeared he put on fske tear gel at the funeral. I have never learbed to hate anyone so much. I was conned by him playing the victim. Took me decades to see what he is in reality. No illusions now.
Very accurate. If you haven’t yet figured out you are dealing with a narcissist, if a death sadly enters the picture, you probably will at that time. The callousness with which they approach the death of their “loved one” is absolutely shocking. What I observed with a male “friend” was his top priority as his wife of 30 years was in a nursing home dying, was trying to figure out which other supply he could swap her out with. He was actively playing the field and triangulating his various supplies against one another. He smirked when describing some of the abuse she was enduring at the nursing home. He started to make plans for how he was going to spend her life insurance money and bought a high end very expensive vehicle a few weeks after she passed. He wrote an absurd over the top obituary about her but if you really read it, it was actually all about him and of what use she was to him. He is in a job where he is able to generate a TON of sympathy from his clientele which of course he did; in a very covert way. Needless to say I realized the “friendship” I had with this person never was and I was only one in doubtless a long line of many suckers he had engaged with to keep his ego pumped up over the years. The callousness is truly jarring.
My husband and I were both raised by narcissists. I think it's partly why we ended up together. We had a date one time that was....OK so here's the thing, my family is crazy. We can relate to each other. His mother passed and my SIL leaned on me heavily because I'm sympathetic to her. She love bombed me and I fell for it again. She ended up moving 6 minutes away from me...for family. 🙄 She used me for everything she could. After a year and a half of giving her money and helping her settle in, for Christmas she gave me a box of flavored black tea. I have life threatening food allergies that she insists are fake despite having explained it to her over and over again. She was giggling as she handed it to me. She has not been in my home since. I made her homemade from scratch chicken soup and brought it to her when she was sick. My husband had to call her from work 2 days later to ask her to say thank you. She used her own mother's death to make me and my husband her retirement plan. They always have an angle and a family members death is just that, another angle.
My ex best friend's daughter died in a car accident at 5 years old. She had some of those colored stretchy rubber bracelets made with her daughter's name on them, and when she gave me one she said, "I normally charge X dollars, but you can have one for free."
@annehedonia156 I almost died in USAF basic training. My TI didn't recognize cellulitis and wouldn't let me go to the clinic in the evening. The next morning i was deathly ill and very nearly died. At one point the DR.s gave me the option of calling my parents to tell them goodbye. I ended up saying no for some reason. Later after tech school I told them about my mother was visibly angry, I think because she missed out on an insurance payout. She never spoke of it again. If my daughter came that close to dying I would lose my mind. I had a bad bike accident when I was about 16. I had a mechanical freeze in my front wheel while I was racing my sister home. I was sent flying into a 4 way intersection face first. They thought I would need plastic surgery to repair the damage. My mother told me the Huffy Corp had taken full responsibility and I received a replacement bicycle 🤔🤪🙄
In my 40s it dawned on me that they might have received a cash settlement as well. I mentioned it to my sister and that year my mother cut me off. 6 years later she contacted me again and tried to claim she had bad phone service. I had sent her mother's day flowers and then a Christmas gift...nothing back. It's hard to wrap your head around and very painful as well however the truth is that sometimes people do have something DEEPLY wrong with them and keeping them in your life is inviting a borderline Demonic presence into your home. I can honestly say my mother has had 0 positive input into my life EVER. She was viciously abusive in childhood and continued that into my adult life. When she cut me off at the end of the day it was a relief.
Just remember, they are demon possessed and have no concept of love, none at all.. A death brings them joy, especially if they've succeeded in destroying a person, any person, and are assured that they will be in hell with them. Please everyone, ask for God's mercy and grace not only for yourself, but for them as well... He is still in the miracle business after all.....
THEY ARE THE. EPITOME OF EVIL
My ex narc was obsessed with funerals and would turn up at the funerals of people he hardly knew....he would travel all over the state. In one year he must have attended at least 10 funerals. I was never allowed to come...My presence would surley have ruined his 'performance' . He must have been feeding off the grief and looking like the good guy by 'doing the right thing' haha and faking giving a damn.... And your point about them targeting elderly single people is so true! There was a lady in a rural town whose husband was in care and Narco turned up to 'help' clear out the dozens of cars they had (he didnt even know her). He is a car enthusiast and suddenly acquired (or sold) rare car parts. Now he's visiting an old man in care who conveniently has no relatives and Narco is 'helping' the poor man clear out his house. He met this guy on the street after noticing the Alfa Romeos in the driveway!
Its elder abuse and its disgusting. All the while he looks like the Good Samaritan while sucking off people's vulnerability.
My NEX did that also. Strange wicked brew these beings are. Not showing up to obtain others belongings, but people he barely knew.
I heard the same from the one I was with
Generally speaking, a narcissist can't control death. But, a narcissist can kill.
I know. For real. Protect thyself. Be armed for real.
How? By driving someone to suicide, or by secretly poisoning their victim? I'm being serious when I ask this question.
@@healthydee381. Depending which type of narc, yes, they can kill. If you’re dealing with a narc get therapy for yourself.
@@Snack-well Not dealing with a narcissist, but I did in the past. My brother is currently dealing with one and I do worry about him.
@@healthydee381
Narcissistic men can be violent and kill with whatever... their own bodies, knifes, guns, throwing you off a cliff, provoking a car accident, etc.
Narcissistic women would rather commit a "clean" crime like poisoning.
Both men and women narcs can lead you to suicide.
I've no doubt your book will be brilliant. We are dealing with an evil entity, and we need to understand their strategies and intentions to detach, protect ourselves and survive.
I am currently dealing with a friend whose husband has a terminal disease. Our conversations are only ever about how inconvenient it is for her. The things she is unable to do, places she cannot go to, how everyone else has such an easy life and the unfairness of it all, in constant need of pity, how difficult it is for her….not one word about how her husband is doing or feeling. They are already three years into this experience and still the pity, the inconvenience, the unfairness is just as palpable as day one. You have hit this nail on the head!!!
They are deplorables REALLY
Sounds like she wants a divorce. Maybe she wants his money.
I grew up in a narc family. The number one thing I notice that they all do when someone dies is - Everything EXCEPT respect the deceased person's wishes. They fight over wills, estates, and even spread slander against the deceased person in order to guilt trip others out of money and/or pity. They make me Peacock Proud to be the Black Sheep of the family. 🙂
As a fellow scapegoat, did they use you for money and assistance routinely. Did they steal from you and then laugh about it? I have ADHD so I was easy to take advantage of. I can't say no and forget if something is mine. The best thing my mother did for me was cut me off on my birthday right after mother's day when I bought her flowers. 7 years later she tried to reconnect and blamed it on phone service 🙄. They really do confuse nice with stupid. Her golden child stayed with her a few months and was going through her belongings and appraising them. At the end of the day they deserve each other. I enjoy my family and if we have food on the table that's enough for me.
What ever kind of death that their loved one is dying, believe me they are the ones who killed them inside. If not killed them altogether and got away with it. For me I wouldn't put it past them. I've witnessed many suspicious acts while saving my loved ones lives. I even saved a friend of mine from an alcoholic overdose while going on a first date with my boyfriend at 16 years old, I had the inner spirit alert for me into looking for her that night. She's resentful for it and tells me to this day that I should have never saved her. They are very low vibrational people and jealousy is a real hard core emotion that I think they battle with to the point of turning it into not only hatred for you but themselves as well.
WOW, you summed that up perfectly.
Agreed. Not a coincidence that spouses of narcissists seem to have a VERY strong tendency to die young (unless they are also narcissists).
I have never seen my narc .ever. cry! There's been 8 deaths in the family. Nary a tear shed, but he was zipping qwik to salvage, savage, steal, pilfer there remaining items from their home. Trust me, I know bcuz it's packed in my house. I thought he was a pack rat - wrong. I know now that it was envy. They want it all, but they will discard you and keep your things from you.
If there are tears it will be in relation to the poor narcissist being left alone! Not tears for the actual person..
You hit the nail on the head Paula. My narcissist was so inconvenienced because she lost a lot of money because she hadn't had time to secure all his finances into her name.
I tested this a few weeks ago and I would NEVER do this to anyone but I wanted to test a narcissists reaction to the possibility of my death. The reaction showed that the person didn’t care for me, but did care about how that impacted them. Narcissists are incredibly fearful and don’t like being left alone, or losing control of people. A death is the ultimate loss of control and of course of supply. Plus how dare you take the spotlight and how dare you leave them when they NEED you. That’s not the rules. After I said what I did, the next week I got a message threatening suicide as a punishment.
I saw this happen with my narcissist family members. You describe it perfectly. ❤
My SIL made me her retirement plan after her mother passed. She moved down the street and became more and more demanding. I felt strangely like I was expected to be her new mother. I waited on her hand and foot for far longer than I should have. I feel stupid in hindsight. I received nothing but nastiness in return.
My mother was a covert narc; she passed in October. My only sibling is sociopathic. Although I was prepared for what my sibling could possibly ‘do’, what actually happened has far surpassed any level of humanity. It’s mind-boggling and truly diabolical.
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Paula, I know you can’t see it, but I am giving you a high-five with every sentence!!!! This is unbelievably on target 😮😮😮😂😂😊😊
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Great video Paula,
I wasn't going to comment on part 2 , but when you mentioned going out on the town etc ,it brought back a memory of the narcassist!
Before I was on the scene,she told me she had a long term partner which she had 3 children by...
She told me that after he had died of a heart attack at the age of 51,and had not been with any one after that til me ( this she changed later on😂)
I found out in the local pub when I was up there watching the football that on her long term partner when the hospital contacted her that he was dieing no one could get in contact , and I found out that at that time she was in someone else's bed😂,
She got all the life insurance and had her house paid off cos of his death!
I when told was astounded and kept it to myself
I remember she mentioned a few months later to ignore what people had said about her in her local especially her being with married men
I was a bit stupid as I ignored it
I then found out later on that since her long term partner had died she'd been in lots of relationships and they all had ended and were blamed for not getting on with her daughters.
I asked Paula why I didn't get invited to her fathers funeral ,and as usual Paula was bang on , she was going to smear me at a later date for not caring etc
But I also after listening to this realise that she was going to inherit a substantial amount of money off her father,and didn't want me to find this out.
I am not a gold digger and wouldn't want any of her fathers money anyway!I'd rather he was alive, as he was a lovely old fella,
I should of listened to the people in the pub, and I think I even had an ex come up and chat to me!
I'm not a 100% sure all this happened, but people in the pub didn't seem to have much time for her ,and they told me this,she was disliked,( home wrecker she was called)
She in the end would tell me people had been mugged outside the pub , to stop me going in there, as I do believe people had told her I knew lots of bad stuff about her!and for me not to find out anything!
These videos are so accurate ,
I can't believe I was so blinkered,
Cant wait for the next podcast.
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Thank you for you comments Anne,
No I'm no gold digger Anne, I'd rather her father be alive,as he was a lovely old man,I got taken in quite abit by how her parents were so nice!and presumed she'd be the same,
I'm out of it almost two years nw, no hoovers or contact by her whatsoever, so I'm a lucky one,
But sometimes things Paula and others say does trigger memories,
I still watch the videos especially from Paula as she tends to be very accurate in her content!
I also find it hard to talk about being a man as we aren't suppose to show emotions and pain from these interactions,
Thank you for your reply!
@@kirkhogan2688 countless times I thought I should have this, that or the other thing. but they had a whole life's practice deceiving people.. so much so they half reason themselves into being morally superior. Well we are doubly warned now such people exist and are amongst us. Trust your gut. Your intuition never fails.
@@kirkhogan2688 men that dare show and discuss their emotions are strong. I have been out of it too for years but the process was hard. I also wasn't hoovered after the final bang. I consider myself lucky now. Found out last week all the weird things I suspected were true the entire length of the situationship. So there you go. I felt something was off with him. Real weirdo, and a total fake is how it turns out.
I’ve witnessed knowing a spouse would die, starting early! Looking forward to new experimentation with new partners. Quite gleefully. Thinking that they can have anyone on earth they want.
Wow 🤯 The levels they go to
They are insipid behaviour is generated in all angles of their life.
I wonder if they ever realize just how much damage they have created to so many genuinely good people?!
@@hibbertsh I believe they know and they have pleasure in the damage they cause. Others demise is success to them.
@@user56gghtf And they have the temerity to call us crazy and insecure, they all belong in a psychiatric facility!
lol 😂 @ Narc must be the Chief Griever. Yessssss!!!!
NPD's could act as professional mourners to, all kitted out in black, a black veil and putting a mourners face on. Like the old fashioned funerals with a calache of black horses, jet black poems the works. Like the calache of black horses in "Dracula." Lol.
Honestly, the howling, hollering and wailing in sack cloth and ashes. They'd do it perfectly.
Good luck with your book.
I'll pray for your safe flight back to the old country.
God bless you.
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I have an example of how they react/behave after losing a spouse.
My father is a narcissist and most probably a psychopath as well. I have one brother and he is also a narcissist.
My father's sister died at around age 40-45 and it's kind of a mystery what happened. I never got an explanation. (I hardly got to know her).
My father's first wife (my mother) died at 53.
His second wife (my stepmother) died at 61. And I was told by friends of mine that she had "lost her mind" during her last years of life. They had two children together.
What shocked me (amongst a thousand other things) was when I spoke over the phone with my father. He lives in Peru and I live in Switzerland alone since age 10 when I was sent here to boarding school.
I called my father to tell him I was sorry for his loss when his (second) wife died. He said "Thank you". Then I told him I was also sorry for his two children that lost their mother at such a yound age. He became totally enraged!!
He yelled over the phone: "How can you say such a thing!!, I knew Anita (his second wife) for 38 years! Alexia and Jacques (his children with Anita) knew her for a much lesser period of time!! "
He continued by saying "AND, just so you know! I am sure Anita died because of Alexia; she gave such a difficult time to Anita!"
I didn't know what to say so I found an excuse to hang up the phone.
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@@NarcCon
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This is absolutely what I experienced with the loss of my mother.
My narcissistic father,who is a minister ,performed the service with my narcissistic sister ,who is also a minister.
It was simply a production. I was ill for weeks.
I have gone no contact with my father since then.
That sister and another one stopped communicating with me.
It is such a better life without them in it!
I never want to see them again.
Indeed. The one in our family was dating again before the cremation of his wife was done. Took the date to pick up her ashes. Over 30 years and two kids got her zero. Her last wish was to have a life celebration at their house. Never happened because he had already moved the next one in. And we weren’t surprised at all.
Narc i knew when one of my loved ones passed it was nothing not even a condolence. Yet when the narcs loved one died the world had to stop looking for continuous sympathy
Thank you Paula 😊
That was a very informative 👏 vid.
Yes they love a funeral its like a party for them.
I hope 🙏 you find a publisher because the work your doing is invaluable.
Good luck with that.
Peace&Love&Light Namaste 🙏 ♥️
Great podcast, you're so spot-on Paula! I saw these types of behaviors by my narcissistic mother when her 3rd husband was sick and dying, and then after his death. She made the poor man's life miserable the whole time they were together for 14 years (beginning immediately after the wedding, on their honeymoon. Prior to the wedding, she put up a good front for him). I felt terrible for him for the way she treated him when he was ill. Somehow his illness became all about HER (typical for the narc), and her behavior was absolutely despicable! The day after his funeral, she got busy emptying his closets and getting rid of all of his clothes, and selling off anything she could get money for.
At that time, I had some knowledge of narcissism and I was aware that she was one. But even knowing that, I was still shocked at her callous behavior.
* Edited to say that I am so excited to hear about your book, Paula! I'm sure it's going to be a great resource for our community of survivors, and a wealth of information and insight. I'm very interested to hear about your own experiences, too. Wishing you all the best in finding a good publisher!
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Hi paula ,yes every word an description is spot on looking forward to next video they are completely evil ..
I was only 21 years when my dad died after 2 weeks of sickness. I was with him 24/7 and when he died, I didn’t handle the planning of his funeral etc. I went out partying almost every night before the funeral. Good friends kept me close and just let me grieve.
True, thankyou great video looking back on 51 years ex never missed a step. His mother dying was just a blip, being a loving wife I offered to talk about it. No he wasn't interested no talk she was gone and forgotten. It's chilling. His lovely mother was like yesterdays trash. This gives me chills now that I've been educated. He liked to show up at funeral's. I guess that was his opportunity to get Narc supply. Horrible scary times looking back. Life with my ex was ugly.
He has threatened my life today 😢
Please leave. It is better to be hungry and safe.
@nandritsis5183 take shelter from this evil aggressive person. I will pray for you and please stay safe.
Get away. My neighbor threatened me ( and my horses). I got a protection order. And cameras and self defense mechanisms ( plural). Still anxious every day. Putting up electric fence too.
Be safe. Do not rely on anyone to help you, meaning the police or courts. Your life may be at risk of imminent harm. Take action. I speak from experience.
@@Andrea-HeIsKing Can you keep the horses away from the property line? That happened to me as well, my animals were harmed.
Hmmm. My poor Aunt was knocked down by a lorry at a Pedestrian Crossing and killed. My sister informed me that it was helping her to deal with the fact that her 40th birthday was coming up. Many many more Red Flags. I wonder is she a Narcissist.
Whoa! That is very cold and callous. Please elaborate and why she said that about her 40th birthday...what was her reasoning?
She meant that she found her 40th birthday a traumatic landmark so the tragedy was “helping her deal with it”. She was comparing one with the other.
So delighted that you have written a book (the first of two). Congratulations 🎉🎉 No better woman, as we say here in Ireland. ❤
Thanks Grace 🥰
Don't they have to have a heart to have grief?
Sadly I think they just don't feel things. As much as I have hated having been a victim of narcissists. They cause so much damage, however it must be a sort of Hell on earth to not be able feel real love it must be awful. My Narc SIL made her cat suffer horribly, I stayed with her at the emergency vet until 3 am. Her reaction to her cats death was bizarre it was like it was theatre. I think she wanted me with her because she knew I love animals and knew it would cause me pain. I wanted to take the cat home so we could take him personally to be cremated, it's what we have done for all of our pets. Once the drama was over she was done. She knew he had cancer and lied and let him suffer, I think because she wanted the most dramatic ending including making me be there for her.
NO.. They don't.
Narc would dance on your grave!
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My parent's knew a couple, the wife died and he was married 5 months later.
Their only daughter has nothing more to do with her father.
My husband uses my health battles as a topic of conversation with clients, neighbors passing by, (very less than casual acquaintances). Exaggerating the extent of of my health problems as though I’m on the brink of death. Just had a past client call my husband to let him know her husband died, only to follow up and inquire if I’m still kicking. She clearly thought she might have a successful attorney’s dead wife’s life she could walk right into (little does she know the hell that it consists of- though judging by her phone call, she’d deserve every minute of it).
So true. The narcissist in my life (not any more) uses her dog for a significant portion of her supply. God, when it died, we were treated to alternate ranting and fake stoicism. She raged because dog rehoming centres were treating her exactly the same as all the 'little people' and not falling over themselves to shower her with dogs to choose from, and this went on until she finally got her replacement dog. Then her 'grief' switched off as she happily paraded her new supply-garnerer around. Now, in order to avoid that ever happening again, she has 2 dogs so that when one dies, she'll have backup supply. She has no idea why she does this or how transparent her behaviour is.
When my parents died he simply dissapeared. Exuses were the same in both cases " I was too busy".
My narc brother,threatened me,only weeks after our mother died and my husband of 25.5 yrs.Hollow and shallow and greedy! Whatta narc family nest!😱
My Brother made the statement that he would beat up my narc if he showed up at Dads funeral. My narc guilted me so badly, I did not go to my my Dads funeral. My Father was also a narc, but, good grief I felt surrounded.
They'll also say thing's even if they barely knew the person, or ain't seen that person in donkeys years, decades even
"Oh she was my best friend growing up, in school, when I was a young woman."
I've watched my Lower Mid-Range NPD mam do this, more than once to. Yes she knew the deceased, but not as intimate as she made out.
As for the child inside the NPD behind the mask. There is no child, no adult either, there's nothing or no one there at all, no. Human being whatsoever, absolutely nothing, a dark void. Emptiness, a blackhole.
There's only a set of different masks to he used, that's it nothing more, nothing less.
Narcissist personality disorder is actually the Narcissist, NPD is the person, their not separate from it, they are it, in the brain that is, not the set of different masks. Like you said Paula that's a collection of things taken from people from childhood to adulthood, to make up the different masks.
Or words to that effect.
Yep, it's creepy I know.
Great video.
Thanks Paula.
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Death of my (inseparable, couldn’t live without me) narcs father came suddenly. I was completely shut out and unwelcome to be a part…”I just want to be alone” While he tap danced and performed funeral arrangements gathering extra support for his grief from welcomed sympathetic new and old supply …looking back, he couldn’t risk me messing up those new/revisited opportunities…COLD MANIPULATION
Thank you for sharing of your knowledge ❤️
My brother is recovering from stage 4 cancer and a few years ago he was given a very short time to live. He married his girlfriend and prepared for the worst. None of my family told me, in fact, my narcissist mother was coming around to my house and taking her rage out on me. Later, I found out and met up with my brother. Down the line, I have discovered that my brother is just her flying monkey.( as I suspected).It's looking like I will have to block him too now.
Crikeys, he (step dad) couldn't wait to get rid of her (my mum) and make me the replacement.
Accurate 4 sure! Interested in your book! Can’t wait 😊
Awesome! Thank you!
I will pray for you ❤
The one I was with have already 2 children and wanted to have 3 more and ones told thats its better to have more in case one of the children would die, just like that. Withoud any additional sentence like "which I cant imagine", nothing....
Even her father said that her mother passed 3 years ago now. You have to get on with life, it’s ok.
🎉oh my myy i am unable to talk about this here but this is so truuue what you are saying it's giving me chills 19:57
Thank you for your help and also a safe journey back to Ireland. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you!
I would like to ask if they bring up their mother if we ever talk about our relationship and then start crying is a narcissistic trait? I ask because every time I try to talk to her about our relationship she disintegrates ever shed a tear but now that I talk to her about our relationship she brings up her mother and starts crying to only tell me how dare I speak to her about our relationship when her mother passed. It’s been 3 years now and I can’t talk to her about our relationship. She stopped the crying but now says she can’t trust me because I caught her cheating and she says it wasn’t her. I even have video and she still says it’s not her and someone put her boots on and her jacket. Then she calls me crazy and tells me to leave her alone. I feel like I’m going crazy because I know what I saw and the body language I got from her as well as my friend not wanting to go for coffee, to the gym, or even calling me. I had a brain surgery a year ago and he still didn’t come to see how I was doing. I’m not crazy but I feel that I’m going crazy. I almost took my life before my brain surgery and I managed to fight through believing that tomorrow will be a better day and had the surgery. Ever since I feel like she is trying to drive me to kill myself. She even aborted my son 4 days after my brain surgery and said that we’re not in a good relationship because I don’t trust her. I told her everything was fine until her mother passed and I caught her cheating. I even thought maybe I was hallucinating and maybe I was seeing things so I continued with the relationship but my gutt feelings were crazy. I couldn’t eat, sleep, brush my teeth, shower, etc. it just seemed off. I tried but this is not right. I’m still in this relationship and nothing seems to work. I tell her what I’m feeling or how I’m hurt and she says “I’m sorry you feel this way and it must suck but you have to believe me Peter, it wasn’t me and I can’t believe you would think that I would do that to you” I told her “you’ve done it before and I stayed. Not to mention you haven’t been getting under the sheets or naked with me before your mom even got sick” she says “see this is where you’re wrong and I really think you’re starting to forget things. Maybe we should go talk to the surgeon and see what happened when you got the brain tumor, maybe it affected your brain and your way of thinking. You’re not even working” I’m not working because I had a brain tumor and they said not to lift anything over 10lbs. Landscaping stones weigh more than 10lbs. We go to the surgeon and he says “no everything went well and there’s nothing that could’ve happened to his thinking or way of thinking” then we leave and she says we should get a second opinion. Then I get mad and say “ are you fucken kidding me!!!!? What second opinion do I need when he did the surgery?” Then she says “There you go yelling again Peter, see you wouldn’t do this before, I can’t talk to you” I tell her she’s trying to drive me crazy and put me in the mental institution. I’ve been silent for a while now and just the other day she says “babe, maybe we should go to the mental institution and see if everything is ok because you keep sitting in the chair outside and smoking like a chimney starring at the sky. Funny thing is, I quit smoking before I knew I had a tumor, then started smoking 3 a day when we found out that her mother had cancer and wasn’t going to make it. When I caught her cheating I went up to 3 packs a day, stressed, not able to sleep, crying, anxiety like crazy and she’s telling me I have to go to the mental institution. How about therapy first? We went to 2 sessions and she said I could go on my own because she doesn’t have money to go. Huh? Really?
Right now is 3am in Toronto Canada and she’s fast asleep, where I’m scared to sleep because when I did, she was sneaking out the house. I’m so tired right now but I pray to god I don’t sleep because I don’t want the thoughts when I wake up so I stay awake until 6am when everyone else gets up so I can take a 2 hour nap before they leave. My gut is telling me that nothing is right anymore but she tells me to trust and believe her. Sorry for talking to much. I’m hurt. I know I’m hurt and I know that I can get through this. I’m actually starting to think that I’m the narcissist.
Sounds like you have a serious case on your hands. Please strengthen tour heart and will and accept that whether she is unwilling or unable, she is not playing her part in the relationship. One thing narcissism does, is make you turn on yourself. And when yiu turn on yourself, there is no hope. Start quietly planning your exit, don't warn or threaten her of your leaving the relationship. Narcissistic relationships literally affect your health. Not good of you are trying to heal from brain surgery.
Thanks!
Thank you so very much for your support 🌹
Hi Paula. Look up who published Dr. John Halls books (gangstalking)
And who published the book The Devil Beside Me....
Narcassist educational books...
Treading on Serpents
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Great idea thank you 🙏 🌹
Ty Paula 💙
Wht if the supply suicides
Thanks!
Thank you so much for your support 🌹🙏