@@nanettesimon9388 Many folks are self-educated these days. Formal education doesn't teach critical thinking, rather only mindless unquestioning compliance.
Yes! In an argument the other day I asked him where he got his degree. He said what degree. I said " your know it all degree" he just called me a stupid dumb c word again and carried on with his condescending BS.
To my experience they get also crueler whith every new partner. My Ex is utterly frustrated because none of his tactics and manipulation works in the long run. Every woman leaves him and the cycles get shorter and shorter. Not even his money prevents this. It helps to find new victims but it doesnt help to make them stay. He is 61 years now and watches his ex-wifes in longterm relationships thrieving without him. He has to start over and over again .... hoping to find anybody. I must admit I am sorry for him but also for every new supply conned into a fake relationship, lied at, ignored and abused in so many ways.
Yea. Pathetic babies who never grew up .probably expecting us to change their diapers/ nappies. Happened to me. I was love bombed, but chosen to be cleaner/ carer/ bed warmer/ nappy changer. Haha..didn't work!
Mine going through the same at 62. Divorcing his bum a$$, abusive, controlling, manipulative, scheming, no ambition, riding on my musical coat tails, washed up musician, addicted womanizer player hating self, lol😂. His exes, include me in the mix gonna THRIVE ...baby!!
This is so true .they know everything ,can't have a conversation with them it's always what they say .they don't care ,the one thing that hurts me is that I really thought h
1. Their loss of power and control threatens them. 2. Their sense of omniscience is threatened. 3. They lose transitional supply, such as when parent or older partner dies. 4. They can no longer future fake. 5. Loss of supply of employment threatens them. 6. Loss of physical ability/prowess threatens them. They become more tricky, cruel to get their needs met. 1. Will acquire a continual supply - a housekeeper, cleaner, servant. 2. Will triangulate to push 2 people against each other. 3. Will use their age/health issues to manipulate -morph into fake loveliness, feebleness, sweetness. 4. Will continue to create drama, lying, withholding information, stirring up conflict 5. Will engage you to draw you in 6. Will retreat into addiction to numb their supply being gone, to imagine greatness 7. Disturb, distort, gossip in new groups 8. Will attract younger people to enhance themselves, coach or teach to enjoy the attention. Younger, trusting people do not know anything about narcissists. They want servants to look after them.
An excellent summation. I'm the scapegoat in my family dealing with my manipulative mother. Sometimes I feel I'm going crazy because either no one sees what I see or they enable her behaviour.
The games they play, their delusional competition. It's so obvious. They prey on people who don't know how they truly are. And 💩 on the ones who know the "Real "FALSE" being they are. The truth always comes out. Might not be today, might not be tomorrow, but everyone will see the light of what was and is dark. Stay strong!
Even in the nursing homes, they search for supply. I know one that moves from one friend to another as they lose value. Everything is false about them except for their need for ego supply. Like vampires, they have no guilt and move on.
He threw himself a huge party when he turned 50, he bought me a tshirt to wear that said my husband is 50 and he is still hot to the party. 11 months later he dumped me for a girl 20 years younger than he is. But on his way out the door he said it’s not a mid life crisis, he just never loved me and he’s tired of pretending he does. What an ass.
they are users. My narc Husband told me one yr into the marriage he didn’t intend to marry me then became hell on wheels (evil) toward me and our kids thereafter. He has alzheimers I took care of him for 5 yrs & he is now in Assisted Living where he acts like an angel. I now have peace & quiet at home. Stay strong and know when living with a Narc that it’s not you who has issues it’s them.
The narc went to the gym everyday. He took steroids and human growth hormone because he thought he would be “young” forever. He is rotting from the inside out. He looks older than his years, he had ED but yet left me for a thirty something woman from the gym. He literally rents a room and just hangs out at the gym but gives the impression he has “money”. Hope she is enjoying being poor and intermittent sex that’s not very good. No contact 2 years now. 😊
Sounds familiar. He went to the gym to ogle coeds. But he couldn’t stay away from drink and he got mad he looked silly at the gym with his bigger than a basketball belly. The drink aged him and he was mad it didn’t happen to me. His idea of sex became pornography after the belly got too big to make intercourse work. He got mad when I simply wouldn’t “service” him so he goes and pays for a girl 1/3 his age
My ex wouldn’t go with someone younger because he can’t even stand to be seen with me. He’s mad I don’t drink so I look way younger. He has the perfect job getting people to do what he wants. The result is tens of thousands of $ in bonuses. I used to run into people who would tell me how great he is.
Mine walked out the thank gawd. He didn't value three good meals and a clean sheets a comfortable bed. A woman who loved him. Good luck to them, they got all this without giving anything.
I’d love to see you discuss mid life crisis. My spouse of 22 years turned 50 and became like a different man. Now I know he was always a narc but the mid life crisis ramped it up 1000%. He left me for a girl 27 years younger than him that he met gaming online. He hoovered and triangulated for nearly 2 years, trying to keep me from moving on. I was in a horrible state, lost 40 pounds from being unable to eat, suicidal constantly. Finally I found the strength to start moving on and only then did he become a worse monster. Now in a long contentious divorce because he is trying to control the whole process. Costing major money even more than a year after I forced no contact. He’s like an alien. Wish I had found your channel back in 2020 when it all started but I was ignorant. My heart goes out to all those trying to escape narcs. Be strong, lean on your support system and try to trust the higher universe meant you to learn something.
You are so lucky to have gotten away. My enabler dad stayed with my narcissistic mother until he died, and at the end.... oh boy. I'm convinced she hastened his death. She lost her most potent narcissistic supply and has been ballistic about grabbing money from EVERYONE around her. It's sick. I feel sad that my dad had to put up with that for as long as he did. He always used to tell me, "I married her because I didn't think anyone would ever love me as much as she did." Ugh! I can see now that she only loved his money. As he was dying, my mother was CONSTANTLY calling me asking to get control over MY bank account. Sickening. We are now no-contact. And I'm lucky that I am no longer co-dependent, and that I didn't have to die like my dad did, just to get away.
This is EXACTLY what happened with my ex narcissist husband, it's HOFFIFIC WHAT THEY DO and the lengths they will go to, he dragged out separation - divorce 7 yesrs through the courts, they leave you but make your life unbearable when you try to move on, God bless ANYONE dealing with them. Hope you are doing well now, we in fact got a LUCKY LUCKY ESCAPE.
@klp63 My situation is almost identical. I think hitting middle age threw him into MLC (mid life crisis) but he was always a covert narc. He cheated with girls online using a fake persona and old photos of himself. Also in divorce process and it's a living hell. He's on his third divorce lawyer and thinks everything is his. Truly evil behavior. There isn't enough info on MLC and narcs.
You have described my deceased narc husband to a "T". Gas lighting me at 62yrs old, his plan was to sell our home and property and move to the mountains. Would work until he was 67 yrs. Old. Well, his plan didn't allow for all the cheating he had done over the yrs. He had contracted the HPV virus and developed throat and spinal cancer. Treatment and surgery failed. He died 2 yrs ago. The past caught up with him. I am free of it all now and at peace. A horrible 45 yrs of emotional abuse, cheating, stealing, lying. As the old saying goes....WHEN THE GAME IS OVER, ALL THE PIECES GO BACK IN THE BOX. THANK YOU Paula!! You give great insight!!❤
WOW brilliant video you could have been talking about my ex husband,we was together for 38years before i left have now been divorced for 20 years,he was exactly as you described,very vain,yes he was a good looking man and didn't he know it, always humiliating me in front of people, lying,and then i would get the silent treatment maybe for a week the longest he stopped talking to me was 3 months and i never knew what i had done. I asked him once why he humiliated me when we was in company he said " i know im doing it,i don't know why im doing it but i know i can get away with it " . He was a Street Angel and a House Devil 😈. When i left it was like a Living Bereavement the pain was unbearable but i knew it was for the best...
OMG you've described my Mother to a T, on the nasty, mean, crass woman that has somehow magically morphed into a little, ole, sweet, granny. She has never been a fundamentally "nice" person, but now she portrays one now in order to manipulate others into feeling sorry for her aged plight. Makes me sick! Just last week my brother told me he was diagnosed with a mass in his lung. When I passed the information on to the old biddy, her first response was "I knew it. He's using his asthma to get out of coming to see me."
LOL! They always make it about them. Clearly a projection. She must have used such an excuse in the past to get out of seeing someone. They do things I'd never even THINK of doing to others..... It's amazing. But yeah, I noticed that the things she has falsely accused people of for years.... are bad things she has done herself. Thank God she never accused someone of killing someone.
My ex narc tried to come back to me after a new supply didn’t work out. He never actually left me I was put on the shelf but I knew damn well what was going on. He told me that he wasn’t the stud he used to be and I’m his best friend and the only one he could count on. I didn’t say anything but I realized, HE COULDN’T GET IT UP while he was off for a weekend with his new supply. Apparently, it didn’t go well as he tried love bombing me. I went no contact that day. It was 4 years ago. He was 63 years old and looked every bit of it. He must be 67 now and I’m sure his “situation “ has only gotten worse. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I can relate my ex husband of 12 years cheated with a new supply 40 years younger he hovered me a few months ago i broke no contact for 2 weeks in January because of my dad passing. I blocked him again for life this time it’s been a month he’s still denying the new supply they live together. Claiming she’s just his friend 🤦🏽♀️
Sounds like the narc I was with although he thinks he’s super good looking started to now due his beard and hair to attract younger supply !! Good luck to him at least it’s not me anymore
Oh my mother. On her deathbed I asked if I could lay down with her. She looked genuinely touched. I laid down and said, I love you mom. I was searching for just one glimpse that she actually loved me too at the end. She forced the I love you too. I felt that was a wonderful ending. However when I stood up from the bed I accidentally moved her blanket. And of course I was berated for that. I had to shake my head and smile. Always a hope in my heart till the end. 😓
I know exactly what you are talking about hoping this and that I stopped hoping in my narcissist wife and placed all my hope that God, was going to work all thinks out and he did my wife passed away, and I’m finally free , I hope she found peace in her death and is happy, I have become a follower of Jesus Christ, and it has been blessing after blessing, I have his peace and his eternal love, Thank you Jesus!!!❤️❤️🙏🙏
I understand what you are saying. My mother never once in my life told me she loved me. . of love in any form. I will always wonder what happened in her childhood. At age 4 I knew other family member did not approve of her. I was her child that took care of her in her last years. She was still my mother,and my husband and I brought her into our home, and we cared for her. I have never had any regerts. I did the best that I could do for her.
@elderlypoodl. My mother never told me she loved me, however I was the child that took care of her at the end years. I can lay my head down on my pillow and sleep good at night. I look at it this way. None of us get to select our own DNA when we arrive on earth. It helps me to remember her that way. I will say a prayer for you. I know how that feels to be made to feel non-worthy.
My Mother has gotten worse. She now uses a rollator to get sympathy and admiration for getting around. I have been diagnosed as chronically ill for year and l been lied about and she is horrible about each of us behind our back and so sweet to your face. The idea that l need to take care of myself is killing her. I am lucky to be in a position to avoid her as l was told by professional to get my siblings to take care of her because she was having an adverse affect on my health. I was treated like a door mat even though l could spent a moment to myself. She lived her life through me doing everything for her. All her needs was taken care of. I am delighted to realise that l am not a lone and by taking care of myself is perfectly okay. This broadcast speaks exactly to what l have gone through. My Mother is "too young" to go into activity retired. She expects that her slaves to take care of her no matter how sick her children are. All the girls are ill with different health issues and the boys are little gods that must not be disturbed 😲. Unfortunately not all my siblings realised that my Mother is narcissistic and think l gone mad. Not that l retired from taking care of her. She would love if the virus continued to frighten people because she was in her element with everyone fussing over her and she ruling who could visit and who could. Slave (me) was expected to do her shopping daily, her laundry, bring her to doctor appointments etc and l was over paid.... I am so surprised that l actually have more monry now because l don't have to pay her bills first and then wait to get repaid..... Her payment to me was actually her bills that was repaid. Thand to the virus l got to enjoy my kids graduation without her stealing the show. It killed her that no one got to praise the beautiful grandmother. I got to enjoy my kids achievements and got to celebrate them. I married a narcissist but lucky excaped with my life out of that marriage. I reared by kids as best as l could even though my Mother always wanted one of my kids for company and as a bodyguard. But l was treated as if l was dead and she was their sole provider spending my money on what she wanted for them as well as l paying her for the trouble of minding the child she had. I thought my child was happy but if l had realised the damaged that she was doing (I didn't know what a narcissist was) l would have kept both my kids at home where l actually wanted them. I am so happy for the last three years of freedom. I have no regrets. I treated my Mother with repect and did everything for her all my life up to 3 years ago. Now l am chronically ill, in chronic pain but l am very happy by myself with 2 cats. Freedom is great, my life is worth living, my kids are wonderful, my glass 🍷 is half full. Listening to you reinforces my determination that l am doing the right thing for myself. Forgive but not forget and certainly not being drawn in my her acting😉😁🕊️💚☘️🇮🇪
I had to chuckle at Remy in the background there. So sleepy, but looking at you Paula, as if to say "Oh there she goes again, talking to herself about those narcissists! I wonder if they're aliens?"
Hi Paula, remember my story …narc husband of 33 years dying of cancer, but felt the need to “come clean” during his last 6months in hospice with his news of another life (miss Amanda, wh0re of havasu)? Well, I was able to get closure….deleted everything about babe from his phone, took care of him and denied anymore contact with his gold digger…she got engaged 2 months after “the love of her life” died, so she’s good. It did take me about a year and a half to heal myself, but I’m better than ever!!! I’m enjoying my life now and am in control of everything…I’m grateful for beautiful freedom every day!!!
Everything you describe Paula is what I am seeing and experiencing re. my unwell 75 y.o. incteasingly narcissistic husband. BTW we met in Ireland when I was a 42 y.o. American widow. He was oh so typically very charming just as described in the ballad "When Irish Eyes are Smiling" he stole my heart away. We've been married almost 27 yrs. I very much regret having ignored some premarital warnings. One was: " Watch out for the man looking for the nurse with a purse."
Paula .I love this .I just retired and loving life @61. The ex Narcissist I was with, and I finally now im healing ..it's been two months. Now and life is beautiful. The Narc i was inflected with would start becoming so call knowledgeable ,The most handsome at his age, and completely ignorant and worse than ever..As he aged , The narcissist became all of the above, then moved in with the mother.. I can't believe how accurate and spot on you are ..It's remarkable these people.Needless to say it was difficult to future fake words any more ..This narcissist was gonna become a huge actor overseas ..😂.and needed $3000 for camera equipment to travel and make millions . Talk about manipulation.. Sending all,much love and The best in Healing.
@@cancerianzodiac5349 . I can laugh now 🤣 ..absolutely hilarious, looking back on it .. But it had me shake my head for sure.. What's even stranger is they actually expect you to Believe Them They speak it with such certainty and truth of their own mind. MIND BLOWING !!
Oh my yes, what you said about the narcissist losing a job or retired and at home all the time is true. Since my husband retired, he has been unbearable. Some days it's hard to cope with him.
Mine would get pissed if I asked a question from store personnel. One day, he had a Major melt down inside Lowes Home Improvement. He often accused me of looking at men or them looking at me.
My ex narc is a nurse. I now understand why he never takes time off, even when very sick, even when he's contagious. He needs his supply. He would always forbid me to say he was a nurse if someone got hurt at the beach etc, as he didn't want to help people. But the opposite with his family and friends.
Thank you Paula, that was spot on. Im 62, and though I pray that Ill never have to cross paths with my ex ever again or even experience an aging prune of a demonic spirit narcissist, theres always a possibility that she'll come slithering around one day. From what Ive learned in Gods word, those old demons dont change, and they begin to look on the outside what they have been on the inside for decades. Its a very sad story to even give thought to Paula. I found forgiveness, which was meant for me, that i pursue not vengeance, but give her to God. I dont wish any cruel thing happen to her, for karma will be cruel enough when it visits her one day. Karma is real, and no one can escape it. We all reap what we sow.
These creaturesreally are demons or possessed by demons. Not sure which one. The fact is they all use the same playbook. How can that be......unless they were sent on a mission? To destroy souls who do not deserve such treatment.
I'm glad to hear such an inspirational account of regaining life & relationship with God. I just wanted to say I LOVE THE CLEVER SCREEN NAME, don't argue with a fool!!!! Very good reminder, and pretty dang funny 😁
@@christinehallett3197 Dear sister. I can't argue with your perspective. For I've seen things with my own eyes that would validate your comment. Yet, studying God's word about the end times " man" brings your perspective and mine to a reality of were we are now. May the truth of God be with you neighbor, and the peace of it set you free. 🙏
@@TryM.yVivier What an unexpected humble reply neighbor 😊. My words were from life's experience. No drama, no hollywood, yet you knew that 😌. I praise our God for your sight neighbor. I'm experiencing both tears of joy, and a heart of overflow in Godly emotions. Concerning my user name 😅😅😅, I'm greatful to have made you giggle. For the name comes from wise advise in proverbs 🤷😊
Today I used the term estrangement to another family member. I felt real healing saying this. I am estranged from two hateful Sisters. Three years ago, I moved 6 states away from my abusers. Unfortunately, the hurt and bad dreams have continued, even with therapy, but just saying “estranged” puts a permanence on ending the cycle of narcissistic abuse.
This has been very insightful. I have a 77 yr old narcissistic mother. You are soooo right about the triangulation and using being a “senior.” She faked having a heart attack in a parking a lot. There is nothing wrong with her heart. She also will act like she is being “elder abused” if she doesn’t get her way. She turns every environment into a toxic cesspool.
Thank you, Paula, for very interesting information. The Narc I knew said he likes young ladies half his age, but was so frustrated that these young girls could not have a good conversation, that when he was telling them about the important people he knew they did not even know who he was talking about. Lol. I believe he understood they thought of him as old. It is difficult to find the perfect person. My thoughts are that the NARC will become more dangerous as he/she gets older. I believe their discard will be more brutal with age. They are really mad at theirself. They think of themselves as perfect, so another less than perfect person needs to be let go. To me It seems like a nightmare life. Flustered people are many times dangerous people.
They are definitely more dangerous as they get old. When my father was dying, my narcissistic mother (who always leeched off him) kept calling me, asking me to give her control over my bank account. ?!?!?! Demented, delusional, and doesn't care a whit about the fact that I have kids I need to care for. And to punish me for not doing her bidding, she restricted my ability to talk to my dying dad. Sick sick woman. She's always been manipulative, but that was the last straw. We are no-contact permanently since my dad died. She will never manipulate me with a loved one AGAIN. EVER.
Just go no contact because staying, your doing more harm than good to your own mental health. 5 years no contact with my narc family and never regret. Yes it's lonely but very peaceful and drama free 😌 ☺️
Paula Thank you So Very Much For Sharing This I Needed To Hear This. I Was Emotionally Abused Horribly By A Malignant Narcissit He has Jus Turned 63..His Abuse Was Brutal.He Gives Me Months And yrs Of The Silent Treatment Almost Driving Me To Suicide He Never Ever Called Me By My Biirth Name He Literally Destroyed My Self Confidence And Self Worth. My Only Protection Is Self Isolating. IM Finally Getting Help I Have A Month Of NC ....
This sounds identical to my situation. I have isolated totally now for, going on 7yrs. I really need help.I moved to a different state away from anything and anyone I had known to a 1 road, ghost town, finding out the brother we moved in with is a super predator, and can't believe the amount of abuse this 77 yr. Old monster has been forcing on every person he can reach, driving most women he been around to terrible downfalls in health&early graves. How did you start getting out? I feel so hopeless.
This sounds identical to me. How did you get help?? I will try anything.I made the mistake of "supporting" his decision to move thousands of miles away to live with his brother in a 1 street town. A couple of neighbors, a mile down the mtn. And no transportation, living with 2 retired elderly narcissists who spoil themselves rotten, buying each other every toy, car, motorcycle, they feel like they want at any given moment, and the only thing I own after a 7yr. Relationship is a pair of skates. Sorry to go off there for a minute. I need some help here. Any response is better than nothing. Thank you.
@@gracemcloughlin9305 I wasn't sure if you were asking me or the first comment. No I live in Idaho in the United States. I live in a town that's basically a ghost town it's listed as a Superfund site by the EPA because it was found to be at one point one of the most toxic places that have ever been known around the world due to bad mining practices. The town is Wardner Idaho.
My experience with my ex narc at first shocked me. The lying was mind blowing! The cheating hurt! The stealing shocked me! The complete lack of any remorse or personal responsibility was demonic to put it mildly. However, it taught me an important life lesson that these people really exist and to be careful and have a healthy love and respect for myself! I really could care less about what happens to her as she finds out that her way of life is had a horrible end!
Yes, demonically consumed! There is definitely no room for pity or sadness for these individuals who can be given every good thing, opportunity, blessing, help, and way outs, but don't choose it any right or true thing. They choose evil increasingly for a lifetime that starts in childhood usually. Wild how rampant it is getting in our times too. They will just suck dry any and all from everything they can unfortunately, never hitting near rock bottom, suffering, and any humility to change. It is true, dark spiritual, soul, heart, mind, and body destruction and murder of themselves and others, that if able, they will keep at and push others all the way to even physical death for sustenance! Be it sickness or suidice. I have seen, heard, and experienced it all myself. 💔❤️🩹
If your experience with abuse( narcissistic torture)has lead you to this position of an endless abundance of love in helping yourself and others, then it is a prime example that through adversity can come great triumphs and path to a greater, deeper sence of purpose and genuine love.
Great piece. I am happy to report that 'no contact' (2 plus years) with the 'disordered' is still the main course in my menu. Life is too short. Thank you
Thanks paula im married to a 78 year old one. Its horrendous . Totally agree with everything you mentioned. And yes they watch porn very disturbing at that age
My female ex got much worse as she aged. She was 52 when I kicked her out. She was in to the most vile, sadistic porn I had ever seen. I found it on her phone. She always warned me she was not going to age gracefully but I never imagined that was what she meant.
Everything you said here describes perfectly my aging narc mom. Her sister , my aunt passed away recently. And that was her supply. She has resorted to nitpicking on me and My daughter because her supply sources have ran out. But I'm the ultimate grey rock so too bad for her. You are so right in aging narcs tweaking tricks, not being able to accept that they're aging - my mom can't even call herself aging or old. 😂 she gets absolutely bitter when she sees me and my boyfriend travelling and creates drama out of nowhere. It is constant hell to live with her. I pray to break free soon 🙏
It's very interesting what you say about when they lose their parents they may try to come back ! They will use the loss to try to win your sympathy , and get back your supply , because they have nowhere else to get their fix . They may even play the lonely card . This is very tricky , being a compassionate and considerate person you would feel SO bad to turn them away . However we should be aware that they haven't changed , they are using their bereavement as a way back in , and they know you are in a very tricky situation and would look terrible if you turned them away . After the tears , it will not be long before the love bomb starts again , they may start to reminisce with you about the past to hook you back in . This is the moment where you need to remind them that it is just that , the past ! Let them know you feel terrible about their loss , but remind them how you have moved on , and if they talk about meeting , you MUST make your excuses ! This is definitely a very dangerous time , but with the right approach and a firm resolution , we can avoid getting sucked back in one last time ! 😎❤️🙏🙏
Yes! Thank you for the confirmation and help with my own resolve. For into my future going from out of my marriage, and into a rocky road of healing and wholeness out and away from this for life!
You best believe they get worse as they age. Also, pay attention to their behavior patterns. Some may go from being cruel to being extremely nice, on a dime. Trust and know that they are "just wanting to switch things up for you", as I was so graciously told about a breakfast item, however, there is more to that statement coming from anyone who thinks it's 'ok' to do to you, than meets the eye. Thanks Paula!
Thankyou Paula, l listened with interest, as my ex narc ages he has continued to repeat the same narcissistic pattern with new partners all his life, he's now an absolute expert manipulator as he's so well practised! 😆
Spot on with this podcast. Thanks, Paula. You described my situation perfectly. Been nearly 2 years no contact. Another dimension to their cruel behaviour could include dementia. Im quite sure my exn (83 years) had a toxic blend of dementia and covert narcissism. Glad to be well off his radar now.
My mother in incorrigible. She will not let anyone help her - she views anyone who wants to help her as a threat - she is vile and vicious and everyone is starting to see her true self
I truly wish that the topic of the aging narcissist, as in parents, whom we must care for can be addressed in a loving and meaningful way. All my heart, I wish for this help.
My narc actually used to speak on this! They were DEVASTATED by the aging process! She would cry out “I am washed up!”, “I’m done for”. Her ability to woo victims was diminished by the inevitable decline in perceived attractiveness and abilities. Her ability to “roam the earth”, and navigate through life with prowess and stealthiness was being hindered by her physical ailments that came with age. Please understand that their power changes; their prey changes. They are unable to generate the same sexual energy pull, that they once possessed. They are keenly aware of this increased debilitation. Thank you for your video. Thank you for calling a spade, a spade. Keep doing what you’re doing! ❤
I noticed that my ex narcissist husband now nearly 67 has been with his latest supply few years now, usually his supplies (women) last up to 18-24 months but feel as he getting older finding it harder to pull and holding on to this woman in case he left on his own, they get DESPERATE.
I’m more sure of myself at 57, than I have been before. I have taken care of Grandparents and parents. Been through alot of life’s challenges. Exchanging youth for wisdom is a good thing.
Thanks Paula, thanks to you and others I survived. You taught me so much. Im still sad sometimes because of the internal hatred a narcissist has and pain they cause. But I do not feel traumatised anymore after 3 years. Thanks so much.
My ex told me from the beginning that he was getting angrier and meaner as he got older. He also told me he died young in all of his past lives and told me he had a tumor that he was going to die from qny day now. He used his age as a sympathy ploy. I used to cry over that man. Smh.
Mine is 91 and last two years has been increasing and pure hell...ive never prayed so hard as i have the last 3 years just keeping your peace and not smacking the crap out of the meanest mouth
Thankyou, great video. I agree with it all I've witnessed it all. I'm healing now and think it so sad what he has missed in family life. We all had to live his fantasy. Or else , we would pay the price, more mind games from Daddy dearest. I'm free and lots of healing to be done in the family. We are doing alright it has taken time but family are starting to realise what was happening.. I'm blessed. We will get there eventually. Grown children went through it with me. It's tough. 😢
I really appreciate your channel, your stuff is right on point. I'm a PROUD SURVIVOR, have had no contact for almost 6 years in July of this year. The best decision I ever made was leaving, I'm so proud of myself and everyone else. I've delt with narcissist my whole life and to see 👀 those ones get older,you would think that they would grow up, but they never will,so sad! Al they do is get worst with time,get away from them and stay away,for your own good health. And once you closed the doors, don't ever open them again. LIVE,LOVE AND ALWAYS LAUGH ❤❤❤❤
The comments and advise given here are spot on!! She nailed it!! I went thru this with my ex for 23 years. Finally broke free by leaving everything behind especially him. No contact with no one from My previous life and now I have found peace in my heart and peace in my life. ❤🎉
💛They like the "comprehensive" care-giver. Yeah. Vital to prioritize taking care of one's self. We've noticed the narcissistic person in our family triangulating. Doesn't work as well when people agree not to fall for it. A few become "flying monkeys" when under super stress. They are sadly unstable and get caught up. Detaching when possible but gee, that doesnt make for as close of a family as one would want. Very heartbreaking for any attached youngsters! 😮 Thank you for creating these great videos Coach Paula! May you be blessed!!💛💛💛
My ex narc was a darn good-looking man, but he is 10 years older than me. Woman were very attracted to him. His age caught up with him big time, and very hard alcoholism. He tried hooking up with me 10 years later, he couldnt find no one to stay with him long enough to suck them dry. Im in a beautiful relationship for 9 years, and happier than I have ever been in my life. 😊
You describe my mother perfectly. She did everything you said, including cultivate a young person. She was so bitter that I refused to serve her every whim. She divorced my dad at 40, then turned to her mother for everything. When grandma died a couple of years later, she avalanched onto me. Tried. She actually lived another 30 years, increasingly bitter and mean as she drove everyone away.
How did I conned into believing a UTI warranted physical therapy. I now know she not only manipulated me but her physicians as well. What amazes me is that she has about 5 or 6 different doctors for her so called ailments but when I suggested a psychological assessment and her physician agreed she made every excuse not to schedule an appointment. I’ve been no contact since September 2023😀😀😀
You described my mother. She has 8 to 10 different doctors and runs to the doctor every single week. She always feels like her doctors are not paying enough attention to her. She gets supply from medical attention.
I enjoyed this video Spot on as usual, My ageing narcassist used her daughters for supply( this made her feel younger),between intermate partners,she triangulated me with them, She had breast implants, perfect teeth, all to try to stay young! I am old and accept my receding hairline, grey hair etc,🤣 Something she never could! She was incredibly vain!
My ex narc has one old supply he called her a very special supply… she always stands behind him. She has money( her husband died 10 years ago, had a lot of moneys she now lives of, my ex narc fixed their garden and got her for s….. after the death of her husband). He told me that this women always will be with him. She will be his back up supply for ever!!! So he is save for ever! And she accepts that he is messing around for new fresh supply!!! So this aging narcissist I think is save till the end he was lucky enough to find this women. I think his job in which he is always able to get new supply is the base of his never ending supply pool so he never had the need to change anything! I am lucky to be out! And never will see or hear him again! 🎉
Maybe they need reminding that they can easily be replaced by a much younger, energetic person. Anyone is replaceable. I guess that would hit a sore spot. Her blind rage has gotten much worse with age. Ive gone no contact for 3 yrs and feel much more peaceful because of it. I'm dreading when Dad isn't around anymore, to keep some sort of normality. Mum has dementia and, as a narcissist herself, will not make my sister accountable or will even side with her, due to her own narcissistic supply. So I have no idea how to deal with this awful future nightmare. She will take all their material possessions and get a high off this while I will be grieving for the biggest loss in my life. I hope Dad has written something down to make sure she doesn't make me homeless, as I've been disabled most of my life due to endometriosis, diabetes and reactive arthritis. She hates me as im vulnerable, and I remind her of what life can throw you. No compassion, empathy or love from her. Older narcs are so much more obvious in their planning and flying monkeys start to see them for who they really are, ever so slightly.
My husband is this way. He thinks he knows everything. I learned that about him early in our marriage. He is extremely toxic, and I'm divorcing him after 26 years and 4 children.
Paula, I have watched you for several years, but this is my first time to comment. I am years out from going through having been married for over 30 years to an extremely covert narcissist. I have gained so much insight, yet in retrospect. You have an uncanny understanding of these people, and I find myself learning something new every time I watch. “More creepy, more tricky, more underhanded, more vile, more cruel, more sadistic”, uhhhh YES!!! Dark energy-uhhhh YES!!! I am often surprised how spot on you are, because it is so hard to get one’s brain around their craziness! Thank you sooooo much for all you do to help us “recover”, gain insight and stability. You are a true friend! Love you Paula!
You are spot on. My bio mom at 86 still going strong trying to cause everyone pain with no limits to what she will do to somebody if she doesn't get her way.. Nobody wants anything to do with her. We set her up in assisted living to avoid her. Its working out fine. Her needs are met and we and our children are protected.
My mother looked me in the eyes and said she wants me in jail . And she always threatens to get a lawyer- she constantly accuses me of stealing her food , money , etc… it may be time to involuntary commit - she won’t listen to anyone who wants to help her - she says Nobody tells me what to do”. “You don’t take my orders” I ran away .
My mum threatened to get a solicitor because I understandably didn’t want to celebrate Christmas or have Christmas dinner with her. She broke the family up and lots of incredibly nasty stuff throughout the year. This narcissism is some sort of spiritual sickness for sure.
The narcissist dressed like he did when he was a teenager. He had identified with the look and never grew up. Looked ridiculous. I told the narcissist that if he didnt take care of himself, then I sure wouldnt. He flipped out. According to him, I owed it to him. I discarded him. After the discard the narcissist blamed me for all of his professional failings.
Mine too. 50 years old wearing a metal chain hanging off his wallet with his dad-cargo-khaki shorts and Darth Vader T-shirt, which was fine back when we were 25 but now looks absurd on him.
Ha ha. My narc still wore combat (cargo ) pants, T shirts and sweatshirts at 60 and they really did not look good on him. Cargo shorts in the Summer. He had been a strikingly good looking young man in his day, but the weight started to pile on in his mid 40's. I only connected with him 6 years ago when his long term partner died. I guess he needed a new supply. He dumped me January 4th and I think he may have sights on his dead wife's sister as they are a family of empaths. Now that I've gone no contact two months I can really see what a drain he was. Needing constant attention and reassurance. Questioning why I got sucked into the situation (doing therapy) I see.now that's it is a pattern with me. My father was a narcissist and my mother silently died inside spending her whole adult life catering to his needs. He also wore combat trousers in his old age. I have had a pattern with narcs and it now needs to stop. Living happily on my own now. Quit drinking, I have lost the weight I put on while with that man. Wishing you all well.
@@taizymcc I quit alcohol 20 years ago when the consequences from the narcissist's addiction became too much for me. I am years ahead of you in my healing but offer you reassurnce and praise for the path that you are on. It has been an inspiring and painful journey. Be well.
My female aging covert narc at 53 …. Botox-Zoloft -Trazadon . Still 105lbs. And Goes to the gym everyday . Her head is in a dark place the the anti-depressants are the glue that’s holding on her mask
My 80 year old narcissist mother thinks she is a hot tomato...she has destroyed all family relationships but because she is getting dementia, I fear she will come up the driveway of my new house like nothing ever happened after I have gone full no contact for 2 years
My ex ruined his second marriage and is now sucking the life out of his mother. He calls her mommy now, acts like a toddler, and faked a suicide attempt when she asked him to get a job to help out around the house.
My ex’s mom did a bang up job of driving a wedge between us. Gaslit us both into oblivion. My ex still tries to have long circular conversations at our sons activities and I just have to walk away. My ex gaslit me too so I have zero empathy towards her now. I won’t have to experience the aging narcissist directly.
I thought I was the only one who had a horrible in-law who wasnt me to call mom - I refused! She was overbearing and clingy - and the narc would be irate if anything was said! When she's gone all he will have is narc bro and all the monkeys/supplys
Paula,your an Angel..you help so many of us..love to you! Nar con retired early and was never home 35yrs to help with children . On wkends,fishing dirt bike anything but home..Now I realized this horrible satanic being..omg.. You pegged it ALL!!
The irony of control. Leaves you less in control. Life is full of ebbs and flows. They won’t accept that reality, therefore losing control. SO ironic! When I was about 10 years old, I went to a dude ranch with my parents. It was the first time riding horse. There were a line of horses going through the forest. One of them got spooked and we were all off! I realized that the only was I was going to not get bucked off was if I loosened my body. If I hadn’t done that instinctively, I surely would’ve been bumped off and thrown into the forest.
I know a narcissist that's 80yrs old and will not admit he's old and gets mad if anyone mentions his age. Also he dresses like he's in his 20's. So delusional😅
My Ex. Remarried. We are now 67. New spouse is 25 yrs younger. I am mostly over this period, but I still wonder,…. What must go on in that house. Maybe I’m still seeking confirmation. Maybe I’m hoping it’s painful, as I was so broken by those years. Not my best behavior..
Minute-17:00 “The aging narcissist is looking for a housekeeper, a caretaker, etc.” I totally agree, my ex-Narc started to and is currently searching a foreign country for a woman that he is , as he put it “ 17:07 vetting“. 😮 He basically described it as all the things that he will need, caretaking, cleaning, fulfilling his fantasies, etc. I told him he was looking for a “Nurse with the Purse” … And that’s how the fight started. 😂😂😂
What you discuss is so spot on. I was so shocked to find the narc harboring truly evil thoughts against me for my "rebelling" 40 years previously, which.was.basically just refusing to buy their narrative of my life. I try to explain that it isn't me who is "holding a grudge" against a "sweet old person" who is manipulating to a point of 100% submission and who is willing to pay off the legal system, use tears, emotional and financial abuse like an expert Machiavellian. Thanks for your channel.
I am about 5 yrs older than my husband. We married in our 40s. Within 4 yrs I divorced him. We remained friends, going places together, going on outings together. I bought my own place. He was hired to work for me. Eventually I ran out of work but he would come by whenever he wanted to. Towards the end he was asking for $ and food. Alot. On a Thursday I took him a bag of food and that's the last time I saw him. He died that weekend of a drug overdose. His parents, brother, and sister, and his daughter are all still alive. Now I wonder if he was upset because he wasn't getting supply from me.
At 44 years old, I just went no contact with my vulnerable narc father. Years of my own mental health issues, over extending, playing the caregiver, it finally hit me-this man cares nothing about anyone but himself, his incessant complaints of HIS pains, HIS finances, nobody calls him, the world sucks, its left me exasperated. I, admittedly and quite shockingly to myself, went supernova on him. Its devastating to my emotions. His response to my letter was 'oh i guess i was a terrible, horrible father but it wont stop me from loving you unconditionally '. Like, what? Thats the response? Cry me river, AGAIN? The rage and sadness simultaneously is extremely confusing and disheartening.
Paula my ex covert narc Marie hampson was in 60s and as she was getting older she was getting more malignant and demonic especially towards her daughter Lisa, Lisa was trying to get into the police and passed her 1st exam and then just got told she's not suitable,it was Marie who stopped her from joining by saying to the police that she had mental health problems, Marie also phoned social services on her daughter making out she was mentally abusing her daughter, while I was with Marie she was having an affair with her daughters husband Steven,I didn't no what narcissism was when all this was happening, now I know and see why she was always giving hints on getting her expensive face creams for her birthday, Christmas and even valentines day,I must have spent thousands on face creams for her over the years,all this and she had the cheek to steal our house and savings and left me homeless, they definitely get more and more evil and demonic when they get older,the only good thing is the older they get the more they slip up and expose themselves
I find it hard to say if my mother (80s) & my ex (mid 50s) are actually worse now, or they seem worse because I so clearly see them for who they are. I will say both are *seriously* freaked out about getting old, being particularly p*ssed at their aging looks. If the topic ever pops up? Both will say they don't want to talk about it. If I persist a little, they'll get up & leave the room. Their behaviours are the same, though they don't talk to each other & haven't for decades.
I've just spent a week recovering from the abuse from 2 narcissists in my family, they both had their go at me after me cooking them a Sunday meal for Easter. My Mum has got worse as well as my Sister with age and they know everything.
They just get worse and worse with age and over time.
Agreed.
Yes. They think they know EVERYTHING. THEY ARE EXPERTS ON EVERYTHING.
Exactly the narc thought he was a experts but don't have NO Education 😂😂😂😂 a bum
@@nanettesimon9388 Many folks are self-educated these days.
Formal education doesn't teach critical thinking, rather only mindless unquestioning compliance.
Well don’t they??😖🙈
Yes! In an argument the other day I asked him where he got his degree. He said what degree. I said " your know it all degree" he just called me a stupid dumb c word again and carried on with his condescending BS.
Even in the throws of dementia, they know better than the doctors.
To my experience they get also crueler whith every new partner. My Ex is utterly frustrated because none of his tactics and manipulation works in the long run. Every woman leaves him and the cycles get shorter and shorter. Not even his money prevents this. It helps to find new victims but it doesnt help to make them stay. He is 61 years now and watches his ex-wifes in longterm relationships thrieving without him. He has to start over and over again .... hoping to find anybody. I must admit I am sorry for him but also for every new supply conned into a fake relationship, lied at, ignored and abused in so many ways.
Yea. Pathetic babies who never grew up .probably expecting us to change their diapers/ nappies. Happened to me. I was love bombed, but chosen to be cleaner/ carer/ bed warmer/ nappy changer.
Haha..didn't work!
❤❤❤
Yep. Shorter, nastier cycles.
The people around and available to them are generally older and wiser with better boundaries.
Mine going through the same at 62. Divorcing his bum a$$, abusive, controlling, manipulative, scheming, no ambition, riding on my musical coat tails, washed up musician, addicted womanizer player hating self, lol😂. His exes, include me in the mix gonna THRIVE ...baby!!
This is so true .they know everything ,can't have a conversation with them it's always what they say .they don't care ,the one thing that hurts me is that I really thought h
1. Their loss of power and control threatens them.
2. Their sense of omniscience is threatened.
3. They lose transitional supply, such as when parent or older partner dies.
4. They can no longer future fake.
5. Loss of supply of employment threatens them.
6. Loss of physical ability/prowess threatens them.
They become more tricky, cruel to get their needs met.
1. Will acquire a continual supply - a housekeeper, cleaner, servant.
2. Will triangulate to push 2 people against each other.
3. Will use their age/health issues to manipulate -morph into fake loveliness, feebleness, sweetness.
4. Will continue to create drama, lying, withholding information, stirring up conflict
5. Will engage you to draw you in
6. Will retreat into addiction to numb their supply being gone, to imagine greatness
7. Disturb, distort, gossip in new groups
8. Will attract younger people to enhance themselves, coach or teach to enjoy the attention. Younger, trusting people do not know anything about narcissists.
They want servants to look after them.
To a T
Hey, thank you for this😀
An excellent summation.
I'm the scapegoat in my family dealing with my manipulative mother. Sometimes I feel I'm going crazy because either no one sees what I see or they enable her behaviour.
Wait, do you live in our house, have you met my mother, your 1000 % correct ❤
@@Miss-KatieThey see what is going on. They are enablers.
The games they play, their delusional competition. It's so obvious. They prey on people who don't know how they truly are. And 💩 on the ones who know the "Real "FALSE" being they are. The truth always comes out. Might not be today, might not be tomorrow, but everyone will see the light of what was and is dark. Stay strong!
Yes. The truth always comes out
You are so correct
They end up in nursing homes, and no one visits. Then they go from supply to supply in the nursing home. Burning bridges into death.
I was a nurse you’re absolutely right no one wants to take care of them you’re so goddamn mean
Even in the nursing homes, they search for supply. I know one that moves from one friend to another as they lose value. Everything is false about them except for their need for ego supply. Like vampires, they have no guilt and move on.
He threw himself a huge party when he turned 50, he bought me a tshirt to wear that said my husband is 50 and he is still hot to the party. 11 months later he dumped me for a girl 20 years younger than he is. But on his way out the door he said it’s not a mid life crisis, he just never loved me and he’s tired of pretending he does. What an ass.
Wow!🥺
It was all a lie. Narcissists can't love anyone. They just use and discard.
I think we go through this to know for certain that evil does indeed exist .
That 20 years younger girl did you a favor….. in time you’ll understand
they are users. My narc Husband told me one yr into the marriage he didn’t intend to marry me then became hell on wheels (evil) toward me and our kids thereafter. He has alzheimers I took care of him for 5 yrs & he is now in Assisted Living where he acts like an angel. I now have peace & quiet at home. Stay strong and know when living with a Narc that it’s not you who has issues it’s them.
The narc went to the gym everyday. He took steroids and human growth hormone because he thought he would be “young” forever. He is rotting from the inside out. He looks older than his years, he had ED but yet left me for a thirty something woman from the gym. He literally rents a room and just hangs out at the gym but gives the impression he has “money”. Hope she is enjoying being poor and intermittent sex that’s not very good. No contact 2 years now. 😊
I truly believe they age quicker…. Botox …antidepressants … and the gym😂
Same scenario, getting divorce. Next one can experience DV like I did but hope the new supply can take all he got. 😂
Sounds familiar. He went to the gym to ogle coeds. But he couldn’t stay away from drink and he got mad he looked silly at the gym with his bigger than a basketball belly. The drink aged him and he was mad it didn’t happen to me. His idea of sex became pornography after the belly got too big to make intercourse work. He got mad when I simply wouldn’t “service” him so he goes and pays for a girl 1/3 his age
My ex wouldn’t go with someone younger because he can’t even stand to be seen with me. He’s mad I don’t drink so I look way younger.
He has the perfect job getting people to do what he wants. The result is tens of thousands of $ in bonuses. I used to run into people who would tell me how great he is.
Mine walked out the thank gawd. He didn't value three good meals and a clean sheets a comfortable bed. A woman who loved him. Good luck to them, they got all this without giving anything.
I’d love to see you discuss mid life crisis. My spouse of 22 years turned 50 and became like a different man. Now I know he was always a narc but the mid life crisis ramped it up 1000%. He left me for a girl 27 years younger than him that he met gaming online. He hoovered and triangulated for nearly 2 years, trying to keep me from moving on. I was in a horrible state, lost 40 pounds from being unable to eat, suicidal constantly. Finally I found the strength to start moving on and only then did he become a worse monster. Now in a long contentious divorce because he is trying to control the whole process. Costing major money even more than a year after I forced no contact. He’s like an alien. Wish I had found your channel back in 2020 when it all started but I was ignorant. My heart goes out to all those trying to escape narcs. Be strong, lean on your support system and try to trust the higher universe meant you to learn something.
You are so lucky to have gotten away. My enabler dad stayed with my narcissistic mother until he died, and at the end.... oh boy. I'm convinced she hastened his death. She lost her most potent narcissistic supply and has been ballistic about grabbing money from EVERYONE around her. It's sick. I feel sad that my dad had to put up with that for as long as he did. He always used to tell me, "I married her because I didn't think anyone would ever love me as much as she did." Ugh! I can see now that she only loved his money. As he was dying, my mother was CONSTANTLY calling me asking to get control over MY bank account. Sickening. We are now no-contact. And I'm lucky that I am no longer co-dependent, and that I didn't have to die like my dad did, just to get away.
@@mvbigmagic4048Wow😢
Snap. Same situation😮 Good luck.
This is EXACTLY what happened with my ex narcissist husband, it's HOFFIFIC WHAT THEY DO and the lengths they will go to, he dragged out separation - divorce 7 yesrs through the courts, they leave you but make your life unbearable when you try to move on, God bless ANYONE dealing with them. Hope you are doing well now, we in fact got a LUCKY LUCKY ESCAPE.
@klp63 My situation is almost identical. I think hitting middle age threw him into MLC (mid life crisis) but he was always a covert narc. He cheated with girls online using a fake persona and old photos of himself. Also in divorce process and it's a living hell. He's on his third divorce lawyer and thinks everything is his. Truly evil behavior. There isn't enough info on MLC and narcs.
You have described my deceased narc husband to a "T".
Gas lighting me at 62yrs old, his plan was to sell our home and property and move to the mountains. Would work until he was 67 yrs. Old. Well, his plan didn't allow for all the cheating he had done over the yrs. He had contracted the HPV virus and developed throat and spinal cancer. Treatment and surgery failed. He died 2 yrs ago. The past caught up with him. I am free of it all now and at peace. A horrible 45 yrs of emotional abuse, cheating, stealing, lying. As the old saying goes....WHEN THE GAME IS OVER, ALL THE PIECES GO BACK IN THE BOX. THANK YOU Paula!! You give great insight!!❤
Sounds like my life
Mine too.
And mine👍
WOW brilliant video you could have been talking about my ex husband,we was together for 38years before i left have now been divorced for 20 years,he was exactly as you described,very vain,yes he was a good looking man and didn't he know it, always humiliating me in front of people, lying,and then i would get the silent treatment maybe for a week the longest he stopped talking to me was 3 months and i never knew what i had done.
I asked him once why he humiliated me when we was in company he said " i know im doing it,i don't know why im doing it but i know i can get away with it " .
He was a Street Angel and a House Devil 😈.
When i left it was like a Living Bereavement the pain was unbearable but i knew it was for the best...
Similar said to me, "There's a way you can speak to family members that you *wouldn't get away with* saying to anyone else." Right
OMG you've described my Mother to a T, on the nasty, mean, crass woman that has somehow magically morphed into a little, ole, sweet, granny. She has never been a fundamentally "nice" person, but now she portrays one now in order to manipulate others into feeling sorry for her aged plight. Makes me sick! Just last week my brother told me he was diagnosed with a mass in his lung. When I passed the information on to the old biddy, her first response was "I knew it. He's using his asthma to get out of coming to see me."
LOL! They always make it about them. Clearly a projection. She must have used such an excuse in the past to get out of seeing someone. They do things I'd never even THINK of doing to others..... It's amazing. But yeah, I noticed that the things she has falsely accused people of for years.... are bad things she has done herself. Thank God she never accused someone of killing someone.
My ex narc tried to come back to me after a new supply didn’t work out. He never actually left me I was put on the shelf but I knew damn well what was going on. He told me that he wasn’t the stud he used to be and I’m his best friend and the only one he could count on. I didn’t say anything but I realized, HE COULDN’T GET IT UP while he was off for a weekend with his new supply. Apparently, it didn’t go well as he tried love bombing me. I went no contact that day. It was 4 years ago. He was 63 years old and looked every bit of it. He must be 67 now and I’m sure his “situation “ has only gotten worse. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
😉😀😂😂
I can relate my ex husband of 12 years cheated with a new supply 40 years younger he hovered me a few months ago i broke no contact for 2 weeks in January because of my dad passing. I blocked him again for life this time it’s been a month he’s still denying the new supply they live together. Claiming she’s just his friend 🤦🏽♀️
Sounds like the narc I was with although he thinks he’s super good looking started to now due his beard and hair to attract younger supply !! Good luck to him at least it’s not me anymore
😂
Oh my mother. On her deathbed I asked if I could lay down with her. She looked genuinely touched. I laid down and said, I love you mom. I was searching for just one glimpse that she actually loved me too at the end. She forced the I love you too. I felt that was a wonderful ending. However when I stood up from the bed I accidentally moved her blanket.
And of course I was berated for that. I had to shake my head and smile. Always a hope in my heart till the end. 😓
I know exactly what you are talking about hoping this and that I stopped hoping in my narcissist wife and placed all my hope that God, was going to work all thinks out and he did my wife passed away, and I’m finally free , I hope she found peace in her death and is happy, I have become a follower of Jesus Christ, and it has been blessing after blessing, I have his peace and his eternal love, Thank you Jesus!!!❤️❤️🙏🙏
I understand what you are saying. My mother never once in my life told me she loved me. . of love in any form. I will always wonder what happened in her childhood. At age 4 I knew other family member did not approve of her. I was her child that took care of her in her last years. She was still my mother,and my husband and I brought her into our home, and we cared for her. I have never had any regerts. I did the best that I could do for her.
GOD bless your sweet heart.😢😢
@elderlypoodl. My mother never told me she loved me, however I was the child that took care of her at the end years. I can lay my head down on my pillow and sleep good at night. I look at it this way. None of us get to select our own DNA when we arrive on earth. It helps me to remember her that way. I will say a prayer for you. I know how that feels to be made to feel non-worthy.
My Mother has gotten worse. She now uses a rollator to get sympathy and admiration for getting around. I have been diagnosed as chronically ill for year and l been lied about and she is horrible about each of us behind our back and so sweet to your face. The idea that l need to take care of myself is killing her. I am lucky to be in a position to avoid her as l was told by professional to get my siblings to take care of her because she was having an adverse affect on my health. I was treated like a door mat even though l could spent a moment to myself. She lived her life through me doing everything for her. All her needs was taken care of. I am delighted to realise that l am not a lone and by taking care of myself is perfectly okay. This broadcast speaks exactly to what l have gone through. My Mother is "too young" to go into activity retired. She expects that her slaves to take care of her no matter how sick her children are. All the girls are ill with different health issues and the boys are little gods that must not be disturbed 😲. Unfortunately not all my siblings realised that my Mother is narcissistic and think l gone mad. Not that l retired from taking care of her. She would love if the virus continued to frighten people because she was in her element with everyone fussing over her and she ruling who could visit and who could. Slave (me) was expected to do her shopping daily, her laundry, bring her to doctor appointments etc and l was over paid.... I am so surprised that l actually have more monry now because l don't have to pay her bills first and then wait to get repaid..... Her payment to me was actually her bills that was repaid. Thand to the virus l got to enjoy my kids graduation without her stealing the show. It killed her that no one got to praise the beautiful grandmother. I got to enjoy my kids achievements and got to celebrate them. I married a narcissist but lucky excaped with my life out of that marriage. I reared by kids as best as l could even though my Mother always wanted one of my kids for company and as a bodyguard. But l was treated as if l was dead and she was their sole provider spending my money on what she wanted for them as well as l paying her for the trouble of minding the child she had. I thought my child was happy but if l had realised the damaged that she was doing (I didn't know what a narcissist was) l would have kept both my kids at home where l actually wanted them. I am so happy for the last three years of freedom. I have no regrets. I treated my Mother with repect and did everything for her all my life up to 3 years ago. Now l am chronically ill, in chronic pain but l am very happy by myself with 2 cats. Freedom is great, my life is worth living, my kids are wonderful, my glass 🍷 is half full. Listening to you reinforces my determination that l am doing the right thing for myself. Forgive but not forget and certainly not being drawn in my her acting😉😁🕊️💚☘️🇮🇪
I am so happy that you have found peace and joy, God bless and guide your future adventures!
I had to chuckle at Remy in the background there. So sleepy, but looking at you Paula, as if to say "Oh there she goes again, talking to herself about those narcissists! I wonder if they're aliens?"
They are different for sure, they really think they are of a superior breed, they are from the Devil !!
😄🐕
It's us, the high consciousness goodness seeking ones with high empathy who are the 'aliens'. Anyone ever heard of star seeds? Look it up.
Hi Paula, remember my story …narc husband of 33 years dying of cancer, but felt the need to “come clean” during his last 6months in hospice with his news of another life (miss Amanda, wh0re of havasu)? Well, I was able to get closure….deleted everything about babe from his phone, took care of him and denied anymore contact with his gold digger…she got engaged 2 months after “the love of her life” died, so she’s good. It did take me about a year and a half to heal myself, but I’m better than ever!!! I’m enjoying my life now and am in control of everything…I’m grateful for beautiful freedom every day!!!
Everything you describe Paula is what I am seeing and experiencing re. my unwell 75 y.o. incteasingly narcissistic husband. BTW we met in Ireland when I was a 42 y.o. American widow. He was oh so typically very charming just as described in the ballad "When Irish Eyes are Smiling" he stole my heart away. We've been married almost 27 yrs.
I very much regret having ignored some premarital warnings. One was:
" Watch out for the man looking for the nurse with a purse."
My 61 year old husband discarded me after 33 years and he now showing himself for who he really is. A nasty, dirty predator.
Paula .I love this .I just retired and loving life @61.
The ex Narcissist I was with, and I finally now im healing ..it's been two months. Now and life is beautiful.
The Narc i was inflected with would start becoming so call knowledgeable ,The most handsome at his age, and completely ignorant and worse than ever..As he aged , The narcissist became all of the above,
then moved in with the mother..
I can't believe how accurate and spot on you are ..It's remarkable these people.Needless to
say it was difficult to future fake words any more ..This narcissist was gonna become a huge actor overseas ..😂.and needed $3000 for camera equipment to travel and make millions .
Talk about manipulation..
Sending all,much love and The best in Healing.
😂😂😂
@@cancerianzodiac5349 .
I can laugh now 🤣 ..absolutely hilarious, looking back on it .. But it had me shake my head for sure.. What's even stranger is they actually expect you to Believe Them They speak it with such certainty and truth of their own mind.
MIND BLOWING !!
Oh my yes, what you said about the narcissist losing a job or retired and at home all the time is true. Since my husband retired, he has been unbearable. Some days it's hard to cope with him.
Mine would get pissed if I asked a question from store personnel. One day, he had a Major melt down inside Lowes Home Improvement. He often accused me of looking at men or them looking at me.
@@wendystevenson3015 yes this is exactly what my husband does
My ex narc is a nurse. I now understand why he never takes time off, even when very sick, even when he's contagious. He needs his supply. He would always forbid me to say he was a nurse if someone got hurt at the beach etc, as he didn't want to help people. But the opposite with his family and friends.
Thank you Paula, that was spot on. Im 62, and though I pray that Ill never have to cross paths with my ex ever again or even experience an aging prune of a demonic spirit narcissist, theres always a possibility that she'll come slithering around one day. From what Ive learned in Gods word, those old demons dont change, and they begin to look on the outside what they have been on the inside for decades. Its a very sad story to even give thought to Paula. I found forgiveness, which was meant for me, that i pursue not vengeance, but give her to God. I dont wish any cruel thing happen to her, for karma will be cruel enough when it visits her one day. Karma is real, and no one can escape it. We all reap what we sow.
These creaturesreally are demons or possessed by demons. Not sure which one. The fact is they all use the same playbook. How can that be......unless they were sent on a mission? To destroy souls who do not deserve such treatment.
I'm glad to hear such an inspirational account of regaining life & relationship with God. I just wanted to say I LOVE THE CLEVER SCREEN NAME, don't argue with a fool!!!! Very good reminder, and pretty dang funny 😁
@@christinehallett3197 exactly
@@christinehallett3197 Dear sister. I can't argue with your perspective. For I've seen things with my own eyes that would validate your comment. Yet, studying God's word about the end times " man" brings your perspective and mine to a reality of were we are now. May the truth of God be with you neighbor, and the peace of it set you free. 🙏
@@TryM.yVivier What an unexpected humble reply neighbor 😊. My words were from life's experience. No drama, no hollywood, yet you knew that 😌. I praise our God for your sight neighbor. I'm experiencing both tears of joy, and a heart of overflow in Godly emotions. Concerning my user name 😅😅😅, I'm greatful to have made you giggle. For the name comes from wise advise in proverbs 🤷😊
Today I used the term estrangement to another family member. I felt real healing saying this. I am estranged from two hateful Sisters.
Three years ago, I moved 6 states away from my abusers. Unfortunately, the hurt and bad dreams have continued, even with therapy, but just saying “estranged” puts a permanence on ending the cycle of narcissistic abuse.
They definitely use heath issues...for the sympathy..the woe is me card 🙏
Know that for sure. W a nt you to feel sorry for them so you will stay. These people are unbelievable!!😢
And to control you and make themselves the centre of attention.
And to control you and make themselves the centre of attention.
This has been very insightful. I have a 77 yr old narcissistic mother. You are soooo right about the triangulation and using being a “senior.” She faked having a heart attack in a parking a lot. There is nothing wrong with her heart. She also will act like she is being “elder abused” if she doesn’t get her way. She turns every environment into a toxic cesspool.
I am currently dealing with this exactly.
Thank you, Paula, for very interesting information. The Narc I knew said he likes young ladies half his age, but was so frustrated that these young girls could not have a good conversation, that when he was telling them about the important people he knew they did not even know who he was talking about. Lol. I believe he understood they thought of him as old. It is difficult to find the perfect person. My thoughts are that the NARC will become more dangerous as he/she gets older. I believe their discard will be more brutal with age. They are really mad at theirself. They think of themselves as perfect, so another less than perfect person needs to be let go. To me It seems like a nightmare life. Flustered people are many times dangerous people.
They are definitely more dangerous as they get old. When my father was dying, my narcissistic mother (who always leeched off him) kept calling me, asking me to give her control over my bank account. ?!?!?! Demented, delusional, and doesn't care a whit about the fact that I have kids I need to care for. And to punish me for not doing her bidding, she restricted my ability to talk to my dying dad. Sick sick woman. She's always been manipulative, but that was the last straw. We are no-contact permanently since my dad died. She will never manipulate me with a loved one AGAIN. EVER.
@@mvbigmagic4048 I am so sorry that you had to go through such mistreatment from your mother
Just go no contact because staying, your doing more harm than good to your own mental health. 5 years no contact with my narc family and never regret. Yes it's lonely but very peaceful and drama free 😌 ☺️
Paula Thank you So Very Much For Sharing This I Needed To Hear This. I Was Emotionally Abused Horribly By A Malignant Narcissit He has Jus Turned 63..His Abuse Was Brutal.He Gives Me Months And yrs Of The Silent Treatment Almost Driving Me To Suicide He Never Ever Called Me By My Biirth Name He Literally Destroyed My Self Confidence And Self Worth. My Only Protection Is Self Isolating. IM Finally Getting Help I Have A Month Of NC
....
This sounds identical to my situation. I have isolated totally now for, going on 7yrs. I really need help.I moved to a different state away from anything and anyone I had known to a 1 road, ghost town, finding out the brother we moved in with is a super predator, and can't believe the amount of abuse this 77 yr. Old monster has been forcing on every person he can reach, driving most women he been around to terrible downfalls in health&early graves.
How did you start getting out? I feel so hopeless.
Get a restraining order
This sounds identical to me. How did you get help?? I will try anything.I made the mistake of "supporting" his decision to move thousands of miles away to live with his brother in a 1 street town. A couple of neighbors, a mile down the mtn. And no transportation, living with 2 retired elderly narcissists who spoil themselves rotten, buying each other every toy, car, motorcycle, they feel like they want at any given moment, and the only thing I own after a 7yr. Relationship is a pair of skates. Sorry to go off there for a minute. I need some help here. Any response is better than nothing. Thank you.
Can I ask....do you live in Ireland?
@@gracemcloughlin9305 I wasn't sure if you were asking me or the first comment. No I live in Idaho in the United States. I live in a town that's basically a ghost town it's listed as a Superfund site by the EPA because it was found to be at one point one of the most toxic places that have ever been known around the world due to bad mining practices. The town is Wardner Idaho.
My experience with my ex narc at first shocked me. The lying was mind blowing! The cheating hurt! The stealing shocked me! The complete lack of any remorse or personal responsibility was demonic to put it mildly. However, it taught me an important life lesson that these people really exist and to be careful and have a healthy love and respect for myself! I really could care less about what happens to her as she finds out that her way of life is had a horrible end!
Yes, demonically consumed! There is definitely no room for pity or sadness for these individuals who can be given every good thing, opportunity, blessing, help, and way outs, but don't choose it any right or true thing. They choose evil increasingly for a lifetime that starts in childhood usually. Wild how rampant it is getting in our times too. They will just suck dry any and all from everything they can unfortunately, never hitting near rock bottom, suffering, and any humility to change. It is true, dark spiritual, soul, heart, mind, and body destruction and murder of themselves and others, that if able, they will keep at and push others all the way to even physical death for sustenance! Be it sickness or suidice. I have seen, heard, and experienced it all myself. 💔❤️🩹
If your experience with abuse( narcissistic torture)has lead you to this position of an endless abundance of love in helping yourself and others, then it is a prime example that through adversity can come great triumphs and path to a greater, deeper sence of purpose and genuine love.
🌹
Great piece. I am happy to report that 'no contact' (2 plus years) with the 'disordered' is still the main course in my menu. Life is too short. Thank you
Excellent!
Thanks paula im married to a 78 year old one. Its horrendous . Totally agree with everything you mentioned. And yes they watch porn very disturbing at that age
My female ex got much worse as she aged. She was 52 when I kicked her out. She was in to the most vile, sadistic porn I had ever seen. I found it on her phone. She always warned me she was not going to age gracefully but I never imagined that was what she meant.
Everything you said here describes perfectly my aging narc mom. Her sister , my aunt passed away recently. And that was her supply. She has resorted to nitpicking on me and My daughter because her supply sources have ran out. But I'm the ultimate grey rock so too bad for her. You are so right in aging narcs tweaking tricks, not being able to accept that they're aging - my mom can't even call herself aging or old. 😂 she gets absolutely bitter when she sees me and my boyfriend travelling and creates drama out of nowhere. It is constant hell to live with her. I pray to break free soon 🙏
Extremely wise Paula;; NARCISSIST = BETRAYER (serial)
The True Self is the spiritual dimension. The false Self is the ego based person identity. Which is subject to death. True Self IS. ❤
It's very interesting what you say about when they lose their parents they may try to come back ! They will use the loss to try to win your sympathy , and get back your supply , because they have nowhere else to get their fix . They may even play the lonely card . This is very tricky , being a compassionate and considerate person you would feel SO bad to turn them away . However we should be aware that they haven't changed , they are using their bereavement as a way back in , and they know you are in a very tricky situation and would look terrible if you turned them away . After the tears , it will not be long before the love bomb starts again , they may start to reminisce with you about the past to hook you back in . This is the moment where you need to remind them that it is just that , the past ! Let them know you feel terrible about their loss , but remind them how you have moved on , and if they talk about meeting , you MUST make your excuses ! This is definitely a very dangerous time , but with the right approach and a firm resolution , we can avoid getting sucked back in one last time ! 😎❤️🙏🙏
Yes! Thank you for the confirmation and help with my own resolve. For into my future going from out of my marriage, and into a rocky road of healing and wholeness out and away from this for life!
“I’m going to be an astronaut!!!” says the 61 year old narc!! 😂😂😂 so so funny! And so close to the truth!! I love this!
🤓👍
You best believe they get worse as they age. Also, pay attention to their behavior patterns. Some may go from being cruel to being extremely nice, on a dime. Trust and know that they are "just wanting to switch things up for you", as I was so graciously told about a breakfast item, however, there is more to that statement coming from anyone who thinks it's 'ok' to do to you, than meets the eye.
Thanks Paula!
Thankyou Paula, l listened with interest, as my ex narc ages he has continued to repeat the same narcissistic pattern with new partners all his life, he's now an absolute expert manipulator as he's so well practised! 😆
Spot on with this podcast. Thanks, Paula. You described my situation perfectly. Been nearly 2 years no contact. Another dimension to their cruel behaviour could include dementia. Im quite sure my exn (83 years) had a toxic blend of dementia and covert narcissism. Glad to be well off his radar now.
My mother in incorrigible. She will not let anyone help her - she views anyone who wants to help her as a threat - she is vile and vicious and everyone is starting to see her true self
Mine too. I don't talk to her anymore. She would throw away flowers we bought her...
I truly wish that the topic of the aging narcissist, as in parents, whom we must care for can be addressed in a loving and meaningful way. All my heart, I wish for this help.
My narc actually used to speak on this! They were DEVASTATED by the aging process! She would cry out “I am washed up!”, “I’m done for”. Her ability to woo victims was diminished by the inevitable decline in perceived attractiveness and abilities. Her ability to “roam the earth”, and navigate through life with prowess and stealthiness was being hindered by her physical ailments that came with age. Please understand that their power changes; their prey changes. They are unable to generate the same sexual energy pull, that they once possessed. They are keenly aware of this increased debilitation. Thank you for your video. Thank you for calling a spade, a spade. Keep doing what you’re doing! ❤
🙋♀️🙏
I noticed that my ex narcissist husband now nearly 67 has been with his latest supply few years now, usually his supplies (women) last up to 18-24 months but feel as he getting older finding it harder to pull and holding on to this woman in case he left on his own, they get DESPERATE.
I’m more sure of myself at 57, than I have been before. I have taken care of Grandparents and parents. Been through alot of life’s challenges. Exchanging youth for wisdom is a good thing.
Thanks Paula, thanks to you and others I survived. You taught me so much. Im still sad sometimes because of the internal hatred a narcissist has and pain they cause. But I do not feel traumatised anymore after 3 years. Thanks so much.
Worse, only worse.
Even God has washed His hands of these puppets.
The wheat and the tare!
Thank you 🙏
EXACTLY
My ex told me from the beginning that he was getting angrier and meaner as he got older. He also told me he died young in all of his past lives and told me he had a tumor that he was going to die from qny day now. He used his age as a sympathy ploy. I used to cry over that man. Smh.
Mine is 91 and last two years has been increasing and pure hell...ive never prayed so hard as i have the last 3 years just keeping your peace and not smacking the crap out of the meanest mouth
Show no emotion. Treat them in a business-like manner, as little contact as possible.
Thankyou, great video. I agree with it all I've witnessed it all. I'm healing now and think it so sad what he has missed in family life. We all had to live his fantasy. Or else , we would pay the price, more mind games from Daddy dearest. I'm free and lots of healing to be done in the family. We are doing alright it has taken time but family are starting to realise what was happening.. I'm blessed. We will get there eventually. Grown children went through it with me. It's tough. 😢
I really appreciate your channel, your stuff is right on point. I'm a PROUD SURVIVOR, have had no contact for almost 6 years in July of this year. The best decision I ever made was leaving, I'm so proud of myself and everyone else. I've delt with narcissist my whole life and to see 👀 those ones get older,you would think that they would grow up, but they never will,so sad! Al they do is get worst with time,get away from them and stay away,for your own good health. And once you closed the doors, don't ever open them again. LIVE,LOVE AND ALWAYS LAUGH ❤❤❤❤
The comments and advise given here are spot on!! She nailed it!! I went thru this with my ex for 23 years. Finally broke free by leaving everything behind especially him. No contact with no one from
My previous life and now I have found peace in my heart and peace in my life. ❤🎉
💛They like the "comprehensive" care-giver. Yeah. Vital to prioritize taking care of one's self. We've noticed the narcissistic person in our family triangulating. Doesn't work as well when people agree not to fall for it. A few become "flying monkeys" when under super stress. They are sadly unstable and get caught up. Detaching when possible but gee, that doesnt make for as close of a family as one would want. Very heartbreaking for any attached youngsters! 😮
Thank you for creating these great videos Coach Paula! May you be blessed!!💛💛💛
🙋♀️🌹
My ex narc was a darn good-looking man, but he is 10 years older than me. Woman were very attracted to him. His age caught up with him big time, and very hard alcoholism. He tried hooking up with me 10 years later, he couldnt find no one to stay with him long enough to suck them dry. Im in a beautiful relationship for 9 years, and happier than I have ever been in my life. 😊
🥰
You describe my mother perfectly. She did everything you said, including cultivate a young person. She was so bitter that I refused to serve her every whim. She divorced my dad at 40, then turned to her mother for everything. When grandma died a couple of years later, she avalanched onto me. Tried. She actually lived another 30 years, increasingly bitter and mean as she drove everyone away.
I'm sure they get angrier , hence more dangerous . Because of becoming more desparate to keep their status quo. I am dealing with this scenario now .
I’m so glad you made this video. It makes a lot of sense. And your line at the end about not letting someone like this back in your life nailed it! ❤
my mother has it - she is now 88 yrs old...who is a narc.... problem is... my sister is also a narc...as well.... its terrible
THANKYOU for another great spot on video!
Appreciate you very much!
These help so much!
Yes they sure do get worse!!!
🙏
You are so welcome
Aging has made my narcissistic parents extremely suspicious, selfish and intolerant of others happiness and independence.
How did I conned into believing a UTI warranted physical therapy. I now know she not only manipulated me but her physicians as well. What amazes me is that she has about 5 or 6 different doctors for her so called ailments but when I suggested a psychological assessment and her physician agreed she made every excuse not to schedule an appointment. I’ve been no contact since September 2023😀😀😀
You described my mother. She has 8 to 10 different doctors and runs to the doctor every single week. She always feels like her doctors are not paying enough attention to her. She gets supply from medical attention.
They love attention from medical professionals and ' apparently ' all their conditions are the absolute worst any doctor has seen!
I enjoyed this video
Spot on as usual,
My ageing narcassist used her daughters for supply( this made her feel younger),between intermate partners,she triangulated me with them,
She had breast implants, perfect teeth, all to try to stay young!
I am old and accept my receding hairline, grey hair etc,🤣
Something she never could!
She was incredibly vain!
My ex narc has one old supply he called her a very special supply… she always stands behind him. She has money( her husband died 10 years ago, had a lot of moneys she now lives of, my ex narc fixed their garden and got her for s….. after the death of her husband). He told me that this women always will be with him. She will be his back up supply for ever!!! So he is save for ever! And she accepts that he is messing around for new fresh supply!!! So this aging narcissist I think is save till the end he was lucky enough to find this women. I think his job in which he is always able to get new supply is the base of his never ending supply pool so he never had the need to change anything!
I am lucky to be out! And never will see or hear him again! 🎉
Maybe they need reminding that they can easily be replaced by a much younger, energetic person.
Anyone is replaceable.
I guess that would hit a sore spot.
Her blind rage has gotten much worse with age.
Ive gone no contact for 3 yrs and feel much more peaceful because of it.
I'm dreading when Dad isn't around anymore, to keep some sort of normality.
Mum has dementia and, as a narcissist herself, will not make my sister accountable or will even side with her, due to her own narcissistic supply.
So I have no idea how to deal with this awful future nightmare.
She will take all their material possessions and get a high off this while I will be grieving for the biggest loss in my life.
I hope Dad has written something down to make sure she doesn't make me homeless, as I've been disabled most of my life due to endometriosis, diabetes and reactive arthritis.
She hates me as im vulnerable, and I remind her of what life can throw you.
No compassion, empathy or love from her.
Older narcs are so much more obvious in their planning and flying monkeys start to see them for who they really are, ever so slightly.
WOW, knocked it out of the park...
Too many narcs, on every level,
out there. 🇺🇸 👍
I really love your channel and think it’s just gotten better as you go!
Thank you Paula for all the good work you are doing for all of us!
Thank you so much!
My husband is this way. He thinks he knows everything. I learned that about him early in our marriage. He is extremely toxic, and I'm divorcing him after 26 years and 4 children.
Paula, I have watched you for several years, but this is my first time to comment.
I am years out from going through having been married for over 30 years to an extremely covert narcissist.
I have gained so much insight, yet in retrospect.
You have an uncanny understanding of these people, and I find myself learning something new every time I watch.
“More creepy, more tricky, more underhanded, more vile, more cruel, more sadistic”, uhhhh YES!!!
Dark energy-uhhhh YES!!!
I am often surprised how spot on you are, because it is so hard to get one’s brain around their craziness!
Thank you sooooo much for all you do to help us “recover”, gain insight and stability.
You are a true friend! Love you Paula!
Thanks for saying hi..🙋♀️🙏🌹
You are spot on. My bio mom at 86 still going strong trying to cause everyone pain with no limits to what she will do to somebody if she doesn't get her way.. Nobody wants anything to do with her. We set her up in assisted living to avoid her. Its working out fine. Her needs are met and we and our children are protected.
My mother looked me in the eyes and said she wants me in jail . And she always threatens to get a lawyer- she constantly accuses me of stealing her food , money , etc… it may be time to involuntary commit - she won’t listen to anyone who wants to help her - she says Nobody tells me what to do”. “You don’t take my orders” I ran away .
My mum threatened to get a solicitor because I understandably didn’t want to celebrate Christmas or have Christmas dinner with her. She broke the family up and lots of incredibly nasty stuff throughout the year. This narcissism is some sort of spiritual sickness for sure.
SOOOOOOOO TRUE …SPOT ON PAULA.
Thank you for all your videos, my dear.
From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA
The narcissist dressed like he did when he was a teenager. He had identified with the look and never grew up. Looked ridiculous.
I told the narcissist that if he didnt take care of himself, then I sure wouldnt. He flipped out. According to him, I owed it to him. I discarded him. After the discard the narcissist blamed me for all of his professional failings.
Mine too. 50 years old wearing a metal chain hanging off his wallet with his dad-cargo-khaki shorts and Darth Vader T-shirt, which was fine back when we were 25 but now looks absurd on him.
@@klp63Exactly😂😂😂
You Did Well For Your Mental Health❤😊❤
Ha ha. My narc still wore combat (cargo ) pants, T shirts and sweatshirts at 60 and they really did not look good on him. Cargo shorts in the Summer. He had been a strikingly good looking young man in his day, but the weight started to pile on in his mid 40's.
I only connected with him 6 years ago when his long term partner died. I guess he needed a new supply.
He dumped me January 4th and I think he may have sights on his dead wife's sister as they are a family of empaths.
Now that I've gone no contact two months I can really see what a drain he was. Needing constant attention and reassurance.
Questioning why I got sucked into the situation (doing therapy) I see.now that's it is a pattern with me. My father was a narcissist and my mother silently died inside spending her whole adult life catering to his needs. He also wore combat trousers in his old age.
I have had a pattern with narcs and it now needs to stop.
Living happily on my own now. Quit drinking, I have lost the weight I put on while with that man.
Wishing you all well.
@@taizymcc I quit alcohol 20 years ago when the consequences from the narcissist's addiction became too much for me. I am years ahead of you in my healing but offer you reassurnce and praise for the path that you are on. It has been an inspiring and painful journey. Be well.
I've found that very interesting,and also confirming at 68 years old with a 62 year old partner,we don't live together!!!
Thank you again, I come from a family of narcissists, I was also narcissistic I am coming to release from that and finding peace in my life, thank you
🥰
Well said! So validating. I was the reliable come back and I will be there. No more
❤ right Paula, I've observed a crafty old timer. Desperate & scary.
What an intelligent lady, thank you for breathing
My female aging covert narc at 53 …. Botox-Zoloft -Trazadon . Still 105lbs. And Goes to the gym everyday . Her head is in a dark place the the anti-depressants are the glue that’s holding on her mask
So sad.
We Love you Paula .. Thanks for all you do for us on this channel God Bless you
The Royal we?
Very interesting and helpful in finding the devil around us 😢😊
🙏🌹
My 80 year old narcissist mother thinks she is a hot tomato...she has destroyed all family relationships but because she is getting dementia, I fear she will come up the driveway of my new house like nothing ever happened after I have gone full no contact for 2 years
My ex ruined his second marriage and is now sucking the life out of his mother. He calls her mommy now, acts like a toddler, and faked a suicide attempt when she asked him to get a job to help out around the house.
Monster😢
good my narc is 78 yr old right now and he is changing alot un less he on the drugs more..
My ex’s mom did a bang up job of driving a wedge between us. Gaslit us both into oblivion. My ex still tries to have long circular conversations at our sons activities and I just have to walk away. My ex gaslit me too so I have zero empathy towards her now. I won’t have to experience the aging narcissist directly.
I thought I was the only one who had a horrible in-law who wasnt me to call mom - I refused! She was overbearing and clingy - and the narc would be irate if anything was said! When she's gone all he will have is narc bro and all the monkeys/supplys
yeah,,,,my mum knows everything...
Paula,your an Angel..you help so many of us..love to you!
Nar con retired early and was never home 35yrs to help with children . On wkends,fishing dirt bike anything but home..Now I realized this horrible satanic being..omg..
You pegged it ALL!!
The irony of control. Leaves you less in control. Life is full of ebbs and flows. They won’t accept that reality, therefore losing control. SO ironic!
When I was about 10 years old, I went to a dude ranch with my parents. It was the first time riding horse. There were a line of horses going through the forest. One of them got spooked and we were all off! I realized that the only was I was going to not get bucked off was if I loosened my body. If I hadn’t done that instinctively, I surely would’ve been bumped off and thrown into the forest.
I enjoyed this! Very helpful. Good to see you both! :)
I know a narcissist that's 80yrs old and will not admit he's old and gets mad if anyone mentions his age. Also he dresses like he's in his 20's. So delusional😅
My Ex. Remarried. We are now 67. New spouse is 25 yrs younger. I am mostly over this period, but I still wonder,…. What must go on in that house. Maybe I’m still seeking confirmation. Maybe I’m hoping it’s painful, as I was so broken by those years. Not my best behavior..
Minute-17:00
“The aging narcissist is looking for a housekeeper, a caretaker, etc.”
I totally agree, my ex-Narc started to and is currently searching a foreign country for a woman that he is , as he put it “ 17:07 vetting“. 😮
He basically described it as all the things that he will need, caretaking, cleaning, fulfilling his fantasies, etc.
I told him he was looking for a “Nurse with the Purse” …
And that’s how the fight started.
😂😂😂
Fantastic line..I can only imagine 🤓
He tried to turn the children against me, so true,on point my sister thank you for this powerful message 🙏❤️💟💪⭐🌹
What you discuss is so spot on. I was so shocked to find the narc harboring truly evil thoughts against me for my "rebelling" 40 years previously, which.was.basically just refusing to buy their narrative of my life. I try to explain that it isn't me who is "holding a grudge" against a "sweet old person" who is manipulating to a point of 100% submission and who is willing to pay off the legal system, use tears, emotional and financial abuse like an expert Machiavellian. Thanks for your channel.
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Thanks for sharing this excellent video the wisdom and education is greatly appreciated 🌺 stay blessed 🙏
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I am about 5 yrs older than my husband. We married in our 40s. Within 4 yrs I divorced him. We remained friends, going places together, going on outings together. I bought my own place. He was hired to work for me. Eventually I ran out of work but he would come by whenever he wanted to. Towards the end he was asking for $ and food. Alot. On a Thursday I took him a bag of food and that's the last time I saw him. He died that weekend of a drug overdose. His parents, brother, and sister, and his daughter are all still alive. Now I wonder if he was upset because he wasn't getting supply from me.
At 44 years old, I just went no contact with my vulnerable narc father. Years of my own mental health issues, over extending, playing the caregiver, it finally hit me-this man cares nothing about anyone but himself, his incessant complaints of HIS pains, HIS finances, nobody calls him, the world sucks, its left me exasperated. I, admittedly and quite shockingly to myself, went supernova on him. Its devastating to my emotions. His response to my letter was 'oh i guess i was a terrible, horrible father but it wont stop me from loving you unconditionally '. Like, what? Thats the response? Cry me river, AGAIN? The rage and sadness simultaneously is extremely confusing and disheartening.
Paula my ex covert narc Marie hampson was in 60s and as she was getting older she was getting more malignant and demonic especially towards her daughter Lisa, Lisa was trying to get into the police and passed her 1st exam and then just got told she's not suitable,it was Marie who stopped her from joining by saying to the police that she had mental health problems, Marie also phoned social services on her daughter making out she was mentally abusing her daughter, while I was with Marie she was having an affair with her daughters husband Steven,I didn't no what narcissism was when all this was happening, now I know and see why she was always giving hints on getting her expensive face creams for her birthday, Christmas and even valentines day,I must have spent thousands on face creams for her over the years,all this and she had the cheek to steal our house and savings and left me homeless, they definitely get more and more evil and demonic when they get older,the only good thing is the older they get the more they slip up and expose themselves
I find it hard to say if my mother (80s) & my ex (mid 50s) are actually worse now, or they seem worse because I so clearly see them for who they are. I will say both are *seriously* freaked out about getting old, being particularly p*ssed at their aging looks. If the topic ever pops up? Both will say they don't want to talk about it. If I persist a little, they'll get up & leave the room. Their behaviours are the same, though they don't talk to each other & haven't for decades.
I've just spent a week recovering from the abuse from 2 narcissists in my family, they both had their go at me after me cooking them a Sunday meal for Easter. My Mum has got worse as well as my Sister with age and they know everything.
Good evening Paula and Remy always love your intact on narcissism 😊❤️❤️
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