8 Ways Narcissists Discard (And What It Means For YOU!)
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- Опубликовано: 12 апр 2023
- In this video, we explore the different methods that narcissists use to discard their partners, from the silent treatment to gaslighting and smear campaigns. We'll also explore the reasons why narcissists discard, such as a desire for control and a need for new sources of narcissistic supply. If you're wondering why you've been discarded by a narcissist, or you're looking to learn more about this behavior, then this video is for you.
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*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist
The emotion one should ever feel after being discarded by a narcissist is gratitude and relief.
Couldn’t agree with you anymore. Feels so good to be discarded.
VERY HARD IF THERE ARE GRANDKIDS
Telling people how they should or should not feel is toxic. Let people grieve.
@@machinegurlll JUST SAYING IF I DISCARDED EVERYONE WHO GAVE TOO MUCH ADVICE OR SPOKE OUT HOW THINGS SHOULD GO I WOULD HAVE NO FAMILY AT ALL. I LISTEN TO EVERYONE AND THEN FORM MY OWN OPINION.. I KNOW PEOPLE GOING THROUGH THIS THAT AREN'T PERFECT BUT IN NO WAY DESERVED TO BE DISCARDED... DOES NOT SEEM TO BE ADULT LIKE JUST TO WALK AWAY . COMMUNICATION AND BOUNDARIES CAN HELP INSTEAD OF ONE PERSON MAKING ALL THE DECESIONS AND KEEPING LITTLE KIDS FROM LOVING AND FUN FAMILY.. NO ONE IS PERFECT.
I can't wait for discard or reverse discard
My narcissistic ex would say things like I was her soulmate, and she loved me with all her heart and soul. Then discarded me like last week's newspaper. Emotionally detaching after being treated like I dont exist to her anymore was the biggest challenge of my life....
He treated me like a TRASH... For 1.5yrs in our 3yrs relationship... N he broke up with me a few days back
Same here, she cheated on me with her ex and ended a 3 years relationship . For me Its like discovering a new person. She discarded yesterday and today she likes my stories on IG. Crazy toxic person
Went no contact for a week finally, then she reached out on Christmas and I caved. Had a nice couple days, then similar situation to you... Just emotionally detaches, becomes unreachable. And when I tried telling her it was bothering me she's basically like "I can't support you" or "that's not my problem".
Praying for you… Remember, as it is written in the word, nothing can separate you from the love of Jesus… He is waiting for you with open arms and ready to heal your heart. 🤍
THAT and saying every once and a while things like “are you sure we’re gonna work out” like it was for reassurance but really just was ready to leave me
Once you catch on to their shit and they realize you’re too smart to be manipulated they’re leave
Big facts
I feel so much shame because I even begged him to stay, I completely lost myself to him I felt like I was worthless without him but now I know im not, and I deserve love.
I did the same and he hung up in my face and didn't take any more of my calls 😢 never again. I was hoovered by him twice before this final discard
I’m in the same boat right now. I called him out on what he’s doing to me. He blocked me on everything. I’ve sent him messages through other avenues begging him and apologizing and he just keeps blocking me. It’s like he shut the door and I can’t get back in. I don’t exist to him again. He’s done this repeatedly over the last 10 years. I’ve been discarded so many times. I’m going insane.
@@lauren5883 Don't be insane, be thankful for doing him a favor to you. Trust me on this, you'll be more miserable than you're by yourself right now. So try to let him go and be free. I truly would especially for someone has a mental condition. Narcs are devilish people not by choice.
@@beskarman38 It doesn’t feel like a favor right now but I will keep telling myself until it does. Thank you for even responding to me. I feel so helpless. Thank you.
@@lauren5883 I was helpless too for a time when I lost my job during the pandemic. My ex tried to "cheer me up" by saying how awesome she was instead of truly saying that be strong, be confident that you'll find something better and etc. I learned the hard way when I realized about those red flags that I foresaw in her. From there, EVERYTHING is different about her discovery and finally she discarded me because she doesnt wanted to admitted that I was a bum and a loser to her, but that was her plan all along as a narc. So I'm not only saying to only cheer you up, I'm doing this that if you want to search for a better life within yourself, everyone can step up to their self-worth. One day, you'll realize that you deserve and achieve more in life than you could possibly ever be and not comparing to your ex nor everybody. You're unique, your story is different from anyone's and I believe you can get a new life's chapter than what you are now. So you can't feel helpless forever, it's only temporary. One day, when this ex issue is over, you'll be ending up with a short pause and a thoughtful laugh from what you've been through. It's time to be worthy of your will, time to be strong and you can. You're in my prayers and thoughts. You're worthy, you just dont know it. Your welcome. Best of luck, 😌🙏 ❤️🔥
Lovebomb, degradate, discard, hoovering, degradate, discard...sounds like a narcissist's idea of recycling!
Rinse repeat
It really is all about them .....and them alone
Truly!
Yes it is… unless they want something, then you have a look in, but, again.. it’s to their advantage
Who cares how or why they're gone, as long as they're gone. Never to be welcomed back.
😁👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏💖💪💪💪💪💪💪
Funny because they have convinced their whole family that it’s me who is a narcissist
@@Crypto.VantageYelp, it’s the same script they write on everyone they target
Sometimes it hurts because they are not physically gone, like in a marriage. They just discard everything about you. Physical, financial, time everything, but they're like there, but you're like total strangers.
@@Crypto.VantageOh I have become poison to the whole family.
Those demons are very good at sucking your soul. But it’s also a test for you to show you how strong you are, and if you come out strong, powerful, well educated about these vampires, you are the winner.❤🎉😊
On the other hand strong people get abused harder
Yes, real energy vampires demons! I thought I liked movie vampires until I actually met a real one! Nope!!!
Unfortunately this is exactly what I'm in the process of experiencing, I caught her cheating online with several men and called her out for being emotionally and physically abusive and told her she possibly could be a narcissist or BPD after being blamed for everything and hit and mentally abused really bad, controlled every aspect since the beginning, now she has it out for me discard me and smear campaign as u say, telling her family things and making me appear the bad guy and she the victim. I don't know , I'm still researching all this but I should be happy she discard me it's just the way she did it is horrible, I'm alone in Puerto Rico and everything I have is gone and worse she make me look so bad which isn't even true yet I don't share the things I been through I think they would think differently, but I'm trying to regain my motivation and confidence in myself is hard . I can't believe I let someone do this to me 6 years we have a 3 yr old girl together which makes things difficult
I moved out on my narcissistic partner on 1 July (3 weeks ago) into one of his alternate properties because I literally could not bear being in our home one minute moment. I wanted to wait until I was financially stable (2024) but in the end I jumped ship without any savings or job prospects.
Seeing myself reflected in every part of my new space after 7 years of growing stifling abuse has been the most incredible experience.
I cry a little everyday as I am flooded with memories of the relationship and all of its confusions. I'm looking for a closure that I know will not come.
In a blazing display of projection, Polyanna-esque pseudo-ghosting and toxic positivity, he offered to help me move (I politely declined) and has even asked me to the cinema as though nothing has happened.
This is more than a little disturbing and makes me uneasy.
The space is available for 6 months so I'm looking for jobs and reaching out to friends as I brace myself for potential fallout.
Good luck to all of you out there who are trapped in these awful 'rabbit hole' relationships.
Such a waste of our self-worse, dignity and potential.
Stay strong!
My heart is with you,it’s a difficult journey we are on, one we never planned.
They are crazy, that’s for sure. You had a cinema invitation and mine took me to the KFC drive-thru 2 hours after he left because of his refusal to stop his emotional affair.
After 22 years of marriage he patted me on the shoulder as I was sitting on the floor crying, ‘you’ll get over it in a few weeks’ he said.
I unfortunately went to the drive-thru as I was in a complete state of shock. I actually felt as though I was in a nightmare and he was a lunatic.
Maybe that was his attempt to try and breadcrumb me, he was smiling and had no remorse over walking out on me and our children.
One could say he’s damaged from his childhood, but as he’s damaged the childhood of our children, I have no sympathy left for his vile Narcissistic self.
Even writing this makes me feel a little strange, as though it was something I had watched, rather than my experience.
We are strong and we will flourish ♥️
I was there 4 months ago.Feeling a lot lighter and positive now. Hang in there as it does get easier.💐
Even after the discard (& this has been a very LONG process!) it still helps to reflect on an all the ways that the discard happened. And remember we do not have to keep asking “WHY?” .. which was a big one for me the last few years.
There is no why. They are not like us. I’m an empathetic and generous person who could never treat anyone the way he has.
There will never be closure other than NO CONTACT! Thank you for all your videos!
Remember to be kind to every cell of yourself, AND be ok to assert boundaries:
🚩Resentment is a toxic time-bomb of self-destruction, and the Earthly 3D moral-bound dichotomy of 'Good Vs Bad' beliefs that support it should be dissolved as an act of "unconditional" love for yourself.
Lynyl Cullen, I can relate to you 100%. I am good hearted, and I really loved him, not knowing what a narcissist was. I left him 12 years ago, and never heard from him again. No Closure, nothing at all. I changed my phone #, I'm OFF social media, and I moved. 5 years wearing an engagement ring 💍. He had no intentions of getting married. I had ENOUGH!
There is why: Theyre not like us.
@@jannlewandowski5540 after reading this well it could have been me😢
I was discarded for the third time so he can go back to his ex wife. This was the final discard, I am done.
My ex left me after I set a boundary. There wasn’t even a conversation about it,he just ended it. I was shocked, he said we were always going to love each other and work through our issues. That we were meant to be together, then he just threw me away like I was nothing. He’s ghosted me and it’s been so hard. Every day is a struggle 😔
ruclips.net/video/2svlGmyKMck/видео.html
you sound like you are the actual narc
🤗 hugs to you. You will be ok
@@animeSnacksCa why, exactly? Or are you trying to cause drama
Same.
Same thing happened to me: I stopped drinking. He cheated on me. Then he divorced me.
You will get through it. You’re not alone, you will get through it ❤️
I took my narc x back several times. Each discard was worse than before. It was emotional hell and the first relationship I got into after getting with an x narc of 10 years. I have had enough of the abuse from him and the abuse it inflects on my mental well-being. I have to shut down all communication. He has me sitting here tonight, waiting for a text that might ever come, about dinner tonight. Well, I think I just made myself unavailable. I don't need to wait around for that kind of mind game and manipulation. I deserve and am better than that.
I found out he was doing smear campaign before discard when his best friend treated me poorly, and he justified his behaviour and didnt support me. Said I was trying to be nice to everyone and nobody has the obligation to like me (gaslighting). Also he slipped in a conversation saying his friend told him I was rude in that ocassion. I responded with a cold "tell me how I was into that conversation in the first place" and he brutally changed the subject. I said that bc I side of me I felt something was shady. Everything was shady and secretive around him. Now I know why.
My fabricated a “reverse discard,” treated me soooo unbelievably terribly I had NO CHOICE but to walk away or I would be gaslighting my own soul.
"gaslighting my own soul"-i can relate to you on that one. I'm trying to be discarded or reverse discard and no contact forever!
I can relate
I’m dealing with this now. It’s insanity.
How are you now ?
Thank God I Finished That Toxic Narcissistic Relationship I Was In. Thank You My Lord For Giving The Strength To Terminate It. Please Keep Her Away My Lord It's Done Father God. Done! Nothing She Does Will Ever Affect Me Anymore.
My ex wife discarded me, the children, the dog, the cat and the birds to disappear across the country to southern Florida to be with some new guy. Here I am a single dad of a 5 and 7 year old doing my best to heal us all with therapy and she was clubbing and in love in a week. She was abusive, to all of us, in a lot of ways, so I guess I should have seen the eventual discard coming. Doesn’t make it hurt less, who can just up and walk away from the children they carried to term? It’s almost unbelievable if it weren’t completely true….
Wow!
😢
I am so sorry. This is totally heartless. You deserve better. Surely not all women are like that. I hope the children will be better, it must be so awful for them.
Sounds like them!
That’s how I described my discard from my ex husband.
Got rid of me, the kids, the dog and the fish. WE had to leave. He wouldn’t let me keep the house to be safe until the divorce was complete.
Didn’t even ask where we were going.
Makes it much easier to give up parenting and having his multiple girlfriends over.
Wow! My ex discarded me, about 2 months ago, after 7 yrs. I’ve watched about (sadly) 1,000 videos looking for answers, and this video nailed it in the first two sentences. My head was left spinning and looking for answers, and this video hits it, with its not about YOU; it never was. Sheeeesh
Yeah me too. Its not us its them , you must remember that. They are ill !
Problem is that it is rarely just a discard, they will destroy as much as possible during the discard, doing the smear campaign in advance. Like a game.
We have a 4 yr old together. She discarded me and I told her that we have to file a time sharing agreement with the courts (because she will move out of state), just to secure both of our parenting time together. Mind you, I’ve been in our daughter’s life 100% of the time from day one. She literally told me that she refuses to file anything, and that if I did…she would destroy my life and tell the courts that she isn’t sure if our daughter is actually mine and that I would have to prove it, which could take months.
I’m like, is this conversation literally happening right now (as she’s packing the whole house up), and I’ve provided 100%? Completely baffled.
Hey guys I just been loved bomb and discarded. However I know a thing or two about Narcs. I will NEVER reach out to him! He does not exist anymore. That’s the only thing victims have is their dignity. Act like he never existed. That’s it.
Hi.. recently discarded here.. this sucks. 😭
@@Caramel9487 sucks like crazy he just hit me up in a rage after discarding me for weeks… I just basically said I’m sorry you feel that way..: and took my power back 😁
@@Caramel9487count your blessings
Sleeping with the enemy is is fairy tail when u r presented with the truth
Dealing with this right. This whole week has been insane. They are already dating someone else. Everything was normal 1 week ago. This is rough.
The discard phase happened by her becoming very distant from me. She was always coming up with excuses for being distant which always centered on the fact that she was not over her ex. She could not do couples counseling because she needed to focus on healing from previous trauma. She had to withdraw all emotional and physical intimacy because she could focus on healing from her previous trauma. The way how she would talk about her ex indicated that she still missed him. While claiming to be miserable, she was acting very happy pushing me away. She would see me having mental breakdowns, walk away and I would hear her laughing her ass off. Many times when I was trying to have a serious conversation with her about how her behavior was damaging me, she would start playing video games. This did not stop until the relationship ended. I can understand if her healing from previous emotional trauma was causing issues with her. However, if she actually cared about me, she would have at the very least had empathy for me.
I caught my narc ex cheating and lying. When I confronted them and ended the relationship they were furious that it came from me and not them. They said how dare I do this to them and shifted the blame onto me as to why they cheated. They said that they had already planned on leaving me on Valentines day and it wasn’t fair that I beat them to it. C R A Z Y ! ! !
I was married to a narcissist. In eleven years, she broke up with me five times before the permanent discard this past January. The cycle of discard followed the same pattern- love bombing me, slow detachment, silent treatment, then discard. She’d Hoover back and then repeat. In the final discard, she broke up with me two weeks after being away for a school commitment. Of course, right up the very end, she was calling me her soul mate, love of her life, blah blah blah. Since she left, she has tried to blame me for her lack of relationship with our kids.
Was discarded for the second time and the reason is unbelievable. They are bullies and I called him on his BS and he strunk like a little boy seeking his mother
I was so stupid ,,trying to get closure or even some answers, of course i did not get anything..I even asked to get back together...I am so lucky she said no !
Thankyou for the guidance about Narcissistic abuse. The worst narcissist I’ve recently delt with was just recently he swooped me up when I was so vulnerable, giving me a house, job, a new “long term” life path… Only to take it all away when I said the word NO to him. I was ever so Grateful, but still recognised the signs of Narcissistic Abuse. EveryTime I said No I was punished harshly, for just trying to stand on my own two feet!!! Slowly I noticed the changes and prepared myself knowing the same thing was happening again. He fired me I lost my house he even TRIED to take my pride and leave me with nothing… this time understanding the process of Discard when I left I blocked him taking my power back I paid him back every cent I owed him and never want that abuse in my life again… even knowing he drives past my house coz I hear the car trying to get my energy back by other family members I’ve screen shotted all his abuse n showed it to everyone he Tried with his smear campaign NOT TODAY SATAN 😎✌️
The Kryptonite of Narcissistic Abuse is the Truth when you can back it up they will crawl back in the hole they came from 💪
8:35 so that;s what she did. she tried to have me arrested 5 times in 2 months on fake domestic violence charges, made it very public too with all our neighbours too and since came back to the house 4 times and even said " I still love you but i can't live with you!" How she can even look at me the in the eyes and act like nothing ever happened leaves me speechless and knows it's my que to get as far as possible from her....thank you for this video once again. :)
Same here mine called the police to humiliate me. In front of her family. Getting me ready for the discard and smear campaign
I walked out after getting tired of the gaslighting, the breadcrumbing, the manipulation and I was so hurt and tired emotionally. Now, in the past, I have been so quick to forgive and forget but this time I took my sweet time deciding if I wanted to continue on with him, meanwhile he was begging and begging for forgiveness for days, buying tickets to shows, telling me how he would step up and be the man I needed him to be. Finally I decided to forgive him and give it another try because I just hoped in what he said was finally going to be true. 2 days later, he discarded me unexpectedly. I was completely blindsided because he had done and said all of these sweet things up until that point. He gave me the excuse that “he didn’t wanna hurt me anymore and it was best he do it now” I told him I felt like there was someone else, then days later, he said “that’s why I’m ending it, before it got to that point.” Then another day later, he said “it was over for me when you said I should disregard my son to spend time with you.”
That’s something I never ever said but he twisted what I did say to try to gaslight me and keep blameshifting. I decided after that to just go full No Contact and block him because I realized that everytime he said something to me, I would reply and try to defend myself but I was really just giving him Supply in seeing me defend myself and my character in sort of a begging manner.
Thank you for your teaching. My so called husband is a grandiosity narc, and you said everything in narc abuse I have experienced, now till the point I am feeling I am going crazy in the point of collapse, the abuse words out of his mouth in my mind over and over couldn’t sleep, my hair fall when I am very angry I cut my long hair . I do not answer call s or texts, then he came to my house yelled : I thought you were dead. I told him to leave my house. Now I am going to see psychologist make record, I will still do no contact , the destruction , lying, chaos, toxic ,endless of arguing costs me got breast cancer and neutropenia, I know if I want live a quality of life I have to cut him off . I am living alone away from this monster.
She was making me miserable for few years then the discarded me. Happy separated for few months now :)
Oh my gosh! After 5 wks of Silent Treatment he said “we need to find a way to end This” (11 yrs of marriage)
No reason. And later told friends I left Him!!??
I think the worst part of the discard process is the lack of closure.
My ex, whom i would never give that opportunity to come back, just up and left one day. She wouldnt tell me why. She wouldn't say what i did wrong. She didnt tell me anything.
Id like to be clear. I wanted her gone. Amongst MANY reasons, i wanted her gone the most for her suicidal threats. I was terrified that id come home and find her dead.
But with no closure, it has taken me 5+ years and a lot of videos like these to lay those bones to rest. Its hard!! You feel like a complete failure EVEN WHEN you get what you wanted and you know you are right. It still sucks. I'd be a liar if I didn't admit to praying for Karma to pay her a much deserved visit tho!!😁
I have since moved on and am very happy.
You Won! ✊😊💯
It was a 19year miserable marriage, I had to leave, even the counselors suggested that in front of our teenage kids in a family session... He didn't want a divorce, he'd rather stay in a dysfunctional marriage though he was profoundly emotionally abusive and unpleasant to all of us in the house... 😢
Well, I did manage to break free from my narcissist after 24 years of marriage 26 years of knowing him. No, it wasn’t easy, but he was just getting more cruel and actually even admitting some things were not appropriate but since no one else was there to hear them, basically what was I to do about it. I moved 2000 miles away. My third attempt. The first attempt was within 5 miles. The second attempt was 35 miles. I guess this is the one that really counted since the first time I went back and the second time I invited him back into my life. What we had to split up surprisingly amicable. I have no idea what’s going on behind my back and my sister used to say that what people say about you is none of your business lol. So that he silent I tend to wonder what he’s doing, which is banned with I need to put healing.it’s an odd feeling. I guess I just wanted to say this out loud indoor comment. I have a good support system and I’m living in a safe space right now. Thank you all for reading this.
Thank you for sharing insights so that those of who are going through this can know we are not crazy or imagining things.
Thank you so much for clarifying the situation, and it is very true they did everything for themselves no matter you did nothing wrong.
I honestly think they discard when you are actually still think you’re in the relationship, but he’s onto a new supply, your just his safe, reliable place…🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
This is all so interesting, eye opening and true. You always give them another chance because you wait for an explanation for it all to make sense (words vs actions) and you think that deep down they do love you… Love your channel. Thank you x
I had to learn, go through this but thank you for the lessons ♥ have a good weekend
Hi Christina. Thank you so much for your help with understanding and healing from this!
After an eight year relationship (three years of marriage), I got a text message that it’s over and then silent treatment, I thought we had a very good relationship (he even said I’m everything for him) and I never cheated or betrayed him in any way. I was so confused. He also doesn’t have much friends, I still can’t believe that he did what he did, I don’t know for sure if he is a narcissist, but I’m sure that there is something wrong with him.
Narc is way more terrible than that
Thank you for great observations. Spot on.
Thank you Christina dear! this message is for me.June 2023 I appreciate your kind words.Recently discarded after 4 years..I am ready to learn much more about little jimmy...
I left almost 5 years ago. Been through it all with my ex husband Covert narcissist of 32 years. So done. Been done and thriving.
Had to leave for fear of being killed. I believe he had a plan and I knew what it was.
Yes i was brutally devalued over a seven day period and had to walk away from an ex girlfriend when she continued in her attacks. Stupidly i went back about 4 weeks later only to be triangulated with a man she’d slept with and continued to message when i got back with her. I refused a give me a baby request after only 10 months of fairly volatile dating and betrayal. She went nuts and blocked me from all social media. So never go back once someone has totally ignored your boundaries and feelings of self worth. They always gaslight you and turn it all back on you. It’s just about power and control with her do not go back no matter how hot she is or provokes you being amorous with other men in front of you.
My narcissistic 'friend' has gone from ringing me every second day and annoying the hell out of me!
He rarely has any news other than the constant drama that everyone is causing him.
Two weeks ago he stopped calling out of the blue.
The sense of relief I have felt has been wonderful.
I've rung him three times to deny him the opportunity to chastise me for ignoring him!
In all of the phone calls he stated that he hasn't called me because he had no new news😅
He finished my last call to him by saying "I'll calll you if I need something, I know where you are'
For those of you wondering why I'm even bothering with him, It's because he has a possession of mine and I want it back after that it's block and goodbye baby!
I should also mention that I stopped allowing him to drain me like a vampire.
I simply observe and never absorb!!
That's called venting, you dolt. You sound like a horrible friend. You also let it slip that you called him 3 times in 3 days when he only calls you half as much. If he's so bad, leave him alone and quit gossiping so he can find a real friend. And you can easily replace your stuff. That's just your sorry excuse to hoover. Block him then ask yourself what's wrong with you, why you don't like to listen to your friends.. then you can die alone like you clearly want to
And of course it was always me I had issues not them.
I'm sorry to reply before listening ... but, on a positive note, after learning a lot these last years, I am so glad and rejoicing in the last couple discards ... before I could get drawn in very quickly or too deeply engaged. Both happened after I recognized signs, kept some boundaries (not all, but many good ones), showed some knowledge and resistance to love bombing, would not overly fawn (a little still kicks in bit I'm working on it), and would not let myself be walked upon.
There is hope!
One of the primary techniques that RUclips therapists recommend is "grayrocking"; it seems an easy way to manage no contact. In my case, when I eventually learned that I was dealing with a narcissist, I mirrored her behavior. That is, I discarded her right back and made it stick. It's been almost a year since any form of communication has occurred. I think the outlook is good.
My husband's mask slipped. He desperately scrambled, last minute realizing that he could not convince me that he was a "good guy" anymore. He was so upset that he couldn't demand that I agree with his narrative. Ended up keeping me in the house, blocking me from leaving. Stopping me from using MY car. Eventually this cumulated in a hostage situation, where he locked my toddler son and I in a bedroom, and then ran around the house, pretending (?) or seeming to believe that some strange man was running around the outside of the house. Seemed like he wanted to come up with some way to scare me, but at that point, any stranger was more promising of safety than he was! He took away my shoes, sweater, and glasses, thinking I wouldn't run in December. I still went for that door, over and over and over. Had bruises from him psychically stopping me. Within 24 hrs I had a PFA in place and he was finally evicted. He took my car, so I couldn't work.
Idk if he believed what he said or not, his delusions were really wild near the end. I really don't know what he was aware of doing or not aware of, but he hasn't apologized, and hasn't asked what he did wrong, so it seems like he believes he is completely justified. He denied having any memory lapses or mental health issues, I tried to give him the out to save face. It would have been helpful if he was able to speak to me civilly regarding our son, but when he realized he would not be allowed to manipulate me via our child, he stopped visiting. Financial support had stopped years prior, he was just like a bully, living full time trashing a house expecting me to keep up with that and work full time to provide for myself and my son.
It really altered my understanding of what the brain can do and that people actually SEE different things in the 3D world. A person in denial will find a way to make something right in their face invisible.
He tried doing the public humiliation and shaming thing. I used to care, but then realized that anyone who couldn't bother to ask for both sides, wasn't smart enough for me to care about their opinion.
6:37 "Love, to a narcissist, is Truly ... different" - They do not value you as an empathically-healthy person would do, because they do not value anything _within_ themselves: 👉To a narc - _Everything worth their attention is outside them_ ; they are _THAT_ blind and shallow: mere shells of humans; like a Non-Player Character in computer game.
⚠Everything you think they are (good or bad) is only-ever-always a simple reflection of the very meanings you are projecting onto what they are doing, shining back at you, and waiting for _YOU_ to take ownership of your judgements of them, and re-empower yourself!
🚩- Because one thing is for sure: They sure as heck are incapable of doing that 'hard inner work'.
✨You'll find success at that place where all that is has no meaning yet applied and is accepted and valued for simply existing as potential.
Had to stop and come back. But I got through the video. I appreciate the video. 😢
omg it just happened exactly as in one way described here.. completely not healthy but so much proving that this is what that person is
He said he thinks my disability is not improving yet he NEVER shows up to any of my appointments and that my disability is not compatible with his party lifestyle. He use to call me so brave of all the things I've accomplished and obstacles I've overcome.
I am learning I am attracted to this personality type when it comes to romantic relationships and friendships. It is a real hell and I am trying my best to stop allowing people like this into my life. The first person to be your friend is not always the best person to be your friend. So many adults lacking something as simple as personal accountability is genuinely disturbing to me.
Yes. He left me 8 times and came back. I hated when he came back. Then I realized he was telling me if I didn't comply, this is how it would be
I was discarded for something he made up.. he pushed me off his patio I tripped and fell on the gate it broke .he called the police and told them I vandalized his fence and his bike ..this is right after I loaned him $1200 so he said he wasn't paying me back so he could pay for the damages ???????????? WTF. yes he told everyone I was bat shit crazy. he said my bag was a cess pool and told every I crapped my pants ????? WTF then he ghosted me
...6 months ago..this is the longest he hasn't contacted me in 18 years
he hovered me 2 times..so to check if I was available and I was ..he never showed up
..dummy me
Just so so heartbreaking
I was told to stay in my lane from my sister in law after I was checking in on my brother's health while he was in the hospital.
As I have always stated, I’m not sure if this individual was a narcissist or not I do know however there was a lot of dysregulation that caused issues, I would get caught by surprise by some of what dysregulated this individual. I do see a lot of both of us in your videos, and I am learning a lot from your videos. The comment you made about abuse struck me as the truth because I would allow myself to be abused, but when it crosses over to my family members, that’s where I had to put a stop to it
Its the most advanced form of control
VERY HARD WHEN THERE IS GRANDKIDS
My wife ran off with the children. I have absolutely no idea where they are. I haven't seen them in months. But before and after that I did see some of these behaviours. I truly can't imagine how she could possibly come back.
That is so weird that’s describes to a t exactly what happened to me in the discard she is still around but like you said done and cheating on me with another woman who I know from her past that is known for being controlling and volatile
Yes, never stable always felt lied to or one foot out of the situation. I told her to stop playing with me! But I came back. Smh
In the thick of this now. Being the better person doesn’t feel great right now.
Trust me brother your not alone, stay the bigger person don’t expose don’t harass don’t look for revenge remember they are just like an 8 year old just picture them as that and you’ll feel better
@@TheOnlyChamploogood visual! An 8 year old.
I’ve been discarded by my narcissistic boss….. it’s making day to day pretty interesting
I took my narc former boss to HR twice now.
Discarded last Wednesday after what i thought was a lovely day together...
Shes still got a key to my apartment so im constantly on edge
She will use the key as a bargaining chip to re enter my life when her new supply sets boundaries
It will start with
Her : 😔
Ten minutes later
Her : hope your okay i miss you
Ten minutes later
Her : ive still got your key, totally forgot i had it do you wanna meet so i can give it back X
Its a script they follow and when you wise up to it they are completely predictable
That was the 23rd time she'd walked out
I'm upset but more with myself for keeping allowing it to happen
She will definitely be back at some point I just hope I'm strong enough to be able to delete her from my life permanently
Yes. My ex still has access to the house, as we are both on the lease. She resigned for a 2nd year, only to move out within a month. She said she only resigned so she can get some of the deposit money at the end of the term; which I am now 100% stuck with and responsible for.
Can you do a video on 8 ways Psychopaths Discard - Why Psychopaths Discard?
Yes, I did survive... thank goodness!!
I think one of the things that bothers people the most that deal with, date or definitively marry & have kids with an narc is the bottom line is you want to get revenge. My older brother went through this.
When he’d leave their place and stay at my parents home, he would say things like, how is it she can get away with all this with no consequences and just don’t care?
And he end up eventually chasing her, something I NEVER seen him do before with any girl.
He either want to correct or explain something she said about him that’s wrong and not true, and sh knew this.
And he was also always trying to get control of the relationship, get yhis respect back.
My older brother needed therapy after his first wife, which is not bad thing. But it was so strange how I seen at a younger age of 15 she needed him more but he dealt with so much of her craziness. He even admitted more than once to my mom it feels like I’m hypnotized or she has voodoo on him.
I , we all found the very best way to deal with a narcissist, if you are sane and you know in your heart your not wrong and truly are the victim here. accept the pain, the financial burden, the disrespect, the idea they’re with someone in your face, the appearance of abandonment of your kids home, dog or cat etc etc and up and leave them cold! Don’t worry if he or she will notice, come around to their senses or apologize and beg you back.
I was married 17 years to a CNarc, I had a severe injury and she started to emotionally check out on me. She started lying, I found out that she had been secretly seeing someone a few years back. She had her ex at a family funeral who she totally adorable and ignored me. At this time I was injured just back on my feet trying to learn to walk. When I questioned her about it she became very very dismissive and cruel, essential I think the mask came off. I left but struggle daily with my choice, its hard to understand how someone can adore you one day and extremely hate you the next. Even though she wasn't coming home every night, I got blamed for the break up when all i tried to do was talk to her. 17 years gone because I wanted respect and boundaries.
My ex discarded me after a year together, we were engaged and unfortunately experienced 2 miscarriages in that time.
She would gaslight me constantly and I became increasingly paranoid and jealous and according to her this was why we ended. Although she would talk about her exes and other guys 24/7 which i know now was to make me feel insecure.
After the discard, she would hoover and draw me back in and this lasted for around a month, drawn in, pushed out and blocked before being drawn in for the last time.
The last time we saw each other she gave me a million reasons as to why i was the problem, most of them it was the first time i had heard them! Before blocking me for the final time without closure. This has now been 2 weeks and it's really messed with my head. Declarations of love, promises and future faking really does mess with your head.
I was at the point where I had the upper hand and I kept trying. This was my biggest mistake and I'm still paying for it. I got her pregnant and I'm still going thru court just for visitation, even turned my sister against me. Mind you I'm not looking for custody just time with my child. I got hoovered back after my child's birth and faced the same problems and got discarded again. Any poor soul experiencing this with such sick people never give up, I was blessed with the persistence (also a curse w these people I don't want to give up )which also helps. I think it is also important that you don't empower them. It is a lost cause and you cannot blame yourself or beat yourself up. Please never give up have the discipline to know when to give up on certain people. I wish I could become a helpful resource in helping people through hard times like that. I wouldn't even wish it on her
Right to the point
If you are tired of their shit and want to leave - do not tell them!!! Just wait till they out of the house and then leave. You can leave a note if you wish but NEVER tell them you are leaving in advance or they will bring in their new supply with a quickness just to throw you out.
My wife didn't only ghost me, she got a bullshit pfa so she didn't have to put up with my reaction. I got the big silent treatment prior to the discard.
Thank you
The first few discards, she was a huge drunk and blocked me on everything. This time she's sober and has a job, but I'm only blocked on SM, not cell. Right now, she is love bombing her new supply, yet won't give back my engagement ring, saying it still means too much to her...lol. Also, she wants me to watch her cat for awhile. I'm just trying to see if the final discard.
Hey Christina! Long time no see! It hit 90 today in NY 🥵😂. I hope you’re well gorgeous! 😉🙏♥️
I heard it’s been like summer there! Nice to see you… Hope you got to enjoy the weather ⛱️🙏❤️
Very helpful
A female I know discarded her boyfriend out of blue. But still enjoys coffee with ex mother in law while he isn't happy with this visits.
12 days demon dave free... I'm relieved but in so upset at the same time! 😪
thanks!
checked all the boxes
I gray rocked the narcissist and he couldn't handle it. He quit showering. Brushing his teeth. I mean months. No hair cut. No mowing the grass. He never left the house. Then one day he got mad over an insane reason. Said he hated me 90%of the time. Do I said do you want me to leave. Honestly could not go until he said those words. Then I left. I actually went back once to only to hear him saying it again after he wanted me to come back. It's been difficult to let go of who I thought he was but I am much better now
How can one person be described by everything you said ?😳
Make you feel miserable to then use your low demeanour as an excuse to leave because you have become miserable…………
5 yrs with a alcoholic narcissist emotional cycle for years got him into rehab he forgot to take changes of clothes with him. I drove to his house picked up the clothes, cleaned the mess the house was in took the clothes to rehad he only stayed 4 days and then asked me to pick him up which I did and took him home and left. His adult daughter contacted me she is worried and lives out of state will I go check of him. I call myself he's not answering I make the 45 minute drive back to him. I am knocking on doors no answer I can hear the TV I knock on windows worried I am going to have to call 911. He comes to the window pointing a gun realizes it's me and puts it down. He's drunk again I clean him up the following wknd he is fine but has decided he no longer wants me because there is no point he hates my son he says. I left and I have blocked him I am so stupid his whole family warned me to get away from him I thought I could help him I can't.
My X left me for a rebound guy after a few years together. Talking reason with my X was a waste of time. Its like talking to a child who doesn't care. Also, make sure your X doesn't have access to your financial accounts. My X was vindictive. Now she can kick rocks and I have my peace of mind.
"It has nothing to do with you."
This happened to me I took her back and she destroyed me and found new supply
The 2nd one! 💯💯💯💯
I almost dumped my narc. Ex, let her come back and forgave her for cheating and crossing boundaries, 6 months later, cheated on me again, and discarded me for that person. That was about 2 months ago and I'm still going thru the ups and downs. Been in no contact
He accused me of ghosting him when I went no contact with him. I got sick on my own and he helped me so I let him back in
We were together for 4 months before I moved to a different country (which he will follow after a few months). We prepared for so many months mentally and emotionally. He discarded me after a month away for the most uncommon reason, he felt he is not giving enough for me which makes him unsafe in the relationship. It's all about him. haha! Also, he doesn't want to be in a relationship when he is doing therapy (not sure if he still continues). Too hard for him to handle all these things. So the discard happened.
OMFG! Mine was so similar. My EX Narc GF lived 3 hours away. So we traveled on the weekends to see one another. Well, we'd always discussed her moving to my location. The last weekend I was at her place, she brought up that she didin't want to move right now, and we can just continue the relationship traveling back and forth until we figure out what to do. I ditin' think anything of it and said "Sure, we have plenty of time to figure it out, I want to be with you no matter what, and we'll do what we need to do." Two weeks later she breaks up with me out of no where, and says she can't handle the distance, her job, nor knows how to be in a relationship. Month later shes already hooked up with some dude. 🤣🤣🤣 Go figure. When I think about everything, and how it transpired step by step, you realize the kind of bullets youve dodged.