The Real Reason You Fell In Love
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- Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
- Why do people fall in love? The real reason you fell in love is talked about in this video. Learn what makes people fall in love.
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Margaret is Amazing.. She is very thoughtful in her word choice. She is missed by thousands of us
"... when one partner quits the relationship midway through the power struggle, they're usually unwilling to face some aspect of themselves that's going to have to come out for this relationship to work."
I was beating myself up, down, left and right until I heard this. Yes, you may have done or not done things to upset your partner, but if they are not able to take responsibility for their actions and are not able to look at themselves in order to grow in the relationship beyond this, THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!
So what, is that person putting all the focus on what’s wrong with the other person, instead of facing themselves? And if they faced themselves and realized they're not perfect either, they would more willing to accept their partner?
"The more secure you are ,the more your needs were met" that's summed it all up
STAGES of love feelings during a relationship
1. The Romance Stage
2. The Power Struggle Stage
3. The Stability Stage
4. The Commitment Stage
5. The Creation Stage
Margaret is such a gem! Her knowledge is priceless! I love it when she is in the videos! Both of you have helped me so much! I am at 2 months now, Coach, and have not stopped watching EVERY SINGLE DAY!
InstaBlaster...
damn.. it all makes sense now... I got stuck at 13:50 part. In the beginning my avoidant ex gave me a perfect amount of attention and it was literally the best time of my life, then after 2.5 months she pulled way back. She still clearly tried to show me she liked me just needed a lot of space and I just remember feeling like I wish it could go back to and stay how it was in the beginning.
I kinda wish I knew about attachment styles and your channel when her and I were still together lol love you guys!
I really wish I would have seen this video 1.5-2 weeks ago, would have really helped my situation. Hell, I wish I would have found this page years ago.
To see the beauty in differences and give love unconditionally is the source of a normal healthy relationship. If you have two people who are committed and make the conscious choice to share their lives you have a chance to make it.
But it’s work my friends... 🎶
I rarely if ever get past the power struggle stage, and THAT'S what makes me sad.
"It's all about him, even though he goes to every length to make it seem like it's all about her."
BEWARE OF THIS BEHAVIOR, EVERYONE! It's easy to fall for! You might think it's awesome to have someone obsess over you and want to do everything for you and be with you 24/7, but let me tell you from multiple experiences, it gets old really fast.
Don't get me wrong, the honeymoon phase is nice and exciting, but if someone is showering you with that much affection that quickly and expects you to do the same for them (because they do), It's a sign of their insecurity. It's transactional. They dish it out so they can get it back. It's unhealthy and it's inauthentic.
Wow, this video has probably taught me the most out of all the other ones. And I can say I've watched nearly all of them. My ex and I definitely fell apart during the power struggle stage. I was constantly wondering what happened to all the affection and butterflies, now I understand that I was still in the romantic stage while he had moved past it already. So of course, my anxiety kicked in when he wanted to be more autonomous and I still wanted to be all over each other. This has truly opened my eyes.
How goes it? Are you still wanting them to come back?
@@dylanbarlow-clough311 About the same. Some days better than others. But I still have days where I just cry. And yes, I'm still hoping to get them back. It's been 5 months of NC but more like 6 months since he stopped talking to me first. It's tough and I can't wait for all this to be over some day.
@@lalisasmr Did they ever come back?
My ex girlfriend and I were always in the honeymoon stage throughout our 5 year relationship and we were still in it even when we had to be distant due to the pandemic, with only small quibbles here and there. However, even though distancing had been slowly lifted and stores and restaurants were opening, the father was still paranoid and controlling, and my separation anxiety kicked in and I would lash out at her if I had a bad day. She said she couldn’t take it anymore and we broke up 4 months ago. Things kinda got heated only from the middle of July, that’s when we broke up. The months and years before, were awesome. From dates, activities together, sex, you name it.
That's absolutely true Coach Craig!! When I experienced losing an intense love in it's first phase, I thought I was going to die and I even said it was worse than when my mom died (and she and I were very close)! I'm glad to hear this confirmed by someone else because I sometimes felt like people would think I was overly dramatic when I described it. Thank you!!
'Perpetual bliss' LOL! You guys are so on the money. Thank you. Just getting into a new relationship, but slowly, with some good boundaries and keeping my autonomy.
Your words Margaret.... yep. It's why my last relationship failed. He would not look at his issues and we couldn't make it... and that's so sad because he was such a beautiful person but just couldn't let go and open up. He was an avoidant attacher and the more I gave, the more he ran.
Thanks Coach Anchovy
I’m still heartbroken after four months but I still hold hope
I hope you are in a better place now regardless of what ended up happening. I am 7 months into the breakup and today was day 60 of no contact. I am still heartbroken and still cry but I no longer cry every day as of the last two weeks. I still hope she will contact me and we can work things out.
This video should be taught in schools. Thank you coach Craig for giving Margaret a platform from which she'd share her knowledge and awesomeness with all of us. I love your channel ❤
You two together are pure gold. RIP Margaret.
Another brilliant video Margaret ! So much experience, perception & knowledge ! Smart move Craig when you decided to recruit her !
I always had her as part of the plan!
I’ve always had someone else in mind too! One day, if things go the way I’m hoping she’ll be on board too!
@@CoachCraigKenneth GO VICTORIA TOO! Hey some ass got divorced, left his kid and moved across country and in with me, TOO. After I told him NOT TO. Unfortunately, I was too far down a hole to fight it off. That shit cost me almost ten years on auto-pilot, just to survive the hellaciousness of living with a BPD. oy! And I'm still going thru it. NOT THAT, but "that" in general. This drug thing you're talking abooot. lol SHIT. You three are going to fix me yet!! THANIK YOU ALL FOR YOUR AMAZING WORK AND WORKBOOKS/COURSES!
Its hard for me to attach, but I have. I finally want a partnership! I hope its easy for me now.
Starting the 3rd workbook right now... I know I am ready to do the work. Hey, it only took 15 years of therapy and a few very painful breakups! Ain't I a quick learner! ;) But really, Coach Craig, Coach Margaret, you are becoming the soundtrack of my summer and to the lifelong changes I am committed to. Can't wait to talk to Coach Margaret soon. I know it will be hard but so very worth it. ♥
Thank you Margaret and Craig, actually, this video was very insightful and useful. I usually do a lot of introspection and this video will go right to my favs, I need to listen to this over and over again until my brain gets the clue ^^ thank you again!
Great video. I can see where my breakup occurred and can now work on a positive outcome for a future relationship with better clarity. Double like, Hold the anchovies...
Again one great video from both of you with lots of wisdom in it. Thank you both so much for what you are doing. :)
I feel like the power struggle in my relationship started seven years into the relationship. Is that possible? We couldn't survive it because he couldn't look at himself and work on himself. He was terrified of it.
I'm wondering the same thing. She walked out on me after 7 really great years as well.
My friend told me to look up "the 7 year itch". That may give you an answer. It seems to be a time when relationships end.
My ex broke up with me after the fantasy stage. We lost our spark. How stupid!! But yet I want to get him back.
I seem perpetually stuck at the power struggle stage
I expect Craig's book to now be titled: "The Good, The Bad, and The Anchovies"
me and my ex always got stuck in 11:40 mark :/ now i know what´s wrong thanks to your workbooks help me grow not for her but for ME, you saved my life litterly if i get a new chans going to get to know her from skratch, and dont take any day for granted 11yr back and forwrad. first time togerther. but thers no perfekt thanks realy love that girl but was afraid to tell her :/
I wish these modern day adults see and understand this.
I see so many perfect couples breaking up after 5+ years because they feel bored (my gf included)
.. not realizing that it is time to go a bit autonomous and enjoy both sides of the coin.
Every other line is a gem. Pay attention people!
You guys are an awesome team, I love your videos. I'm learning a lot about myself and my failed relationships.
Thank you, no one can solve peoples' problems unless he/she really feels for them, and this is the thing I haven't find in any therapist but you. may God bless you guys and rewards your good deeds
You two are wonderful 👏🏻♥️
Fantastic and insightful video!
Great video. Missing Margaret. ❤
Great overview of the stages of love! Well done you two! Thank you.
Great video!
Good, Good Video Margaret and Craig!
Very helpful Margaret and Craig 👏🏼
I was break up in first stage (after 1-2 month), my ex in this stage just cut me off completely (no calls, no texting, no chats) because she had continued problem with stalker (2 years pursuing) and my anxiety cause that she was thinking that I will be next stalker...
I can't describe how desperate feeling it was...
Love and will miss you dear Margaret always❤️💔
I love this! So helpful and insightful.
You two changed my life thank you :)
Best video yet 💯👍💯 so true
Thank you. It’s an awesome and informative video !
Hi Coach Craig, I've recently started learning about attachment styles and wondered if it is possible to change your own attachment style through doing the self work you talk about. Is it possible to become more secure once start to understand yourself and your ex partner better?
Also I have had some trouble trying to convince him of his own self worth as many of his friends and family tell me that he doesn't think his good enough to be with me. This frustrates me soooo much because I believe everybody has something to offer in life but he keeps on telling everybody that he doesn't think he his worthy of a good egg and he doesn't think he is on the same level. He was doing this before me met me which I find really annoying. I sometimes wish he could see himself through my eyes because the second best attitude he has towards himself isn't healthy and I worry he will end up lonely if he doesn't start to value himself.
I'm very independent until I start thinking about relationships then it goes downhill when I get in my head....I just get stuck and or numb. I'm feeling that way right about now after a long time of not. Always the holidays it seems too.
Absolutely great information. Thank you!
i love how funny both of you are
Great video
excellent video
The video was 'Good Enough' for a laugh and learning
Third!
It's been 5 months since my ex and i broke up and we have not contacted each other since then. I told her i'm not interested in a friendship, that i only want her as my girlfriend, and if she changes her mind to give me a call. About 2 months after the breakup, she started viewing my whatsapp stories but i never viewed hers nor did i click like on any of her photos on social media she's posted since the breakup. Two weeks ago i posted 2 different photos on the same day, one on Facebook( I changed my profile pic) and added a photo on instagram, and she clicked like on both of them. I also added a video to my instagram story last week and she viewed it. I won't reach out to her first, but do you think she will contact me, or am I thinking too much into the situation.? I really hope you reply. Thank You for your videos !
lol
Coach Craig Kenneth do a video about “ Love Addiction”
Avenger516 ... clicking 'like' is not proper contact. She's curious, she's thinking about you, but that might be anything. Just keep doing what you're doing.
avenger516 don't think too much about it, like belle said she is just curious etc.. but I also think she is trying to get a reaction from you or attention. Don't fall for it just move on.
There is no point of asking if she will contact or not, just move on. If she contacts all good, if not still good, you will find someone better.
This is great! If we never surpass the honeymoon through the power struggle, how do we work on that? Simply developing our anxiety and security stronger?
There are few things more codependent than love songs
Does an avoidant woman who is not willing to compromise on her level of autonomy in order to have a better connection with her partner ever marry?
When my brother stomped on the glass the rabbi said that will be the last time you put your foot down, lol
The more reason why I don’t care for Anchovies! 🐟💦🐠 Perpetual Bliss! 💕 Luv it!!
God damn this one’s good!
I love you both so much!
Just had the announcement she passed then this video was recommended to me :(
This video distinguish your knowledge with the rest of coaches.
I do have a question whether girls love perspective are determine by their mom or Dad. From your video, it sound like guys love perspective are determined by their Mom.
Perfect!!!
Please Craig and Margaret if we are insecure because our needs were nt met as a child what can we do as adults ? We can t change the past so how can we get on better in the future ?
Thank you so much xx
You should consider therapy. Coach Craig has mentioned before that he used to be more anxious but that therapy with Margaret helped him be more secure. A therapist can guide you through the steps you can take to be less insecure. This could include reading some books.
Great!!!!!!
Hey Coach, quick question:
I certainly did fall in love with my ex in our 1 yr relationship, but she admitted that she never did. She ended it, but wanted to remain friends. I didn't agree to that and it crushed her. In the 5 months since the split, I've run into her a few times and she is pretty rude and mean to me. She still views all my social media. Can you tell me why she is like this?
seanbrownsociety she’s still interested in you but is conflicted by the idea
The comment about being accused of something for spending too long in the store is spot on. My now Ex-wife would lose her mind if I was at the grocery store longer than a half hour on a Friday night. She would accuse me of banging the store cashier.... yeah okay, sure. That's what I was doing. Yeah. Okay.🙄
When i get succesful, i will make you a italian anchovy Sandwich like you never had before.
❤️❤️❤️
lol I love coach Anchovy
Give up the fantasy..
Mmmmm anchovies
👽🦋 6th🦄💖
Fourth
First
Second haha