why is Los Angeles so lonely?
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
- On another rainy LA day, I wanted to give my thoughts on why this city can feel so isolating and lonely. (no real hate to LA: we still love you)
#losangeles #california
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00:00 a rainy, lonely day
00:48 is LA lonely?
1:16 american culture
3:53 new york city culture
5:26 car culture
8:10 walkability
8:59 public parks
10:12 meeting people
12:27 meeting up...ya right
13:33 how do you feel?
14:43 sun is back!
tags: los angeles, new york city, la vs. ny, car culture, loneliness epidemic, california
LA Residents: Vote YES on HLA in the Los Angeles Primary Election on March 5th, which will pave the way for a safer and more transit-efficient pedestrian friendly city (and in turn, a little less lonely)
5:02 Another reason NYC is good for introverts is that you blend in with the thousands of other people walking around. When you walk in LA, you stand out because you're the only person on the sidewalk so you feel uncomfortable.
There are many walkable neighborhoods in the LA region.
@@mrxman581 I'd say these areas are walkable in this order: 1) Santa Monica, 2) DTLA, 3) Long Beach, 4) Pasadena, 5) West Hollywood, 6) KTown, 7) Sawtelle. These are the exceptions. Most of LA is really not walkable.
@@mrxman581 The only people who walk are house keepers who try to catch the bus
@@RoyalDudenessand poor college students like myself
It's not just L.A., but most of the urban U.S. outside of urban pedestrian cities of NYC, Chicago or San Francisco are just car oriented suburban culture.
Most of America is centered around the car and driving by yourself. L.A. is just the capital of American car culture but the same could be said of Dallas, Phoenix, Houston...cities in Florida....etc. American culture is socially isolating compared to that of European cities. Most American cities and suburbs are devoid of walkable street and pedestrian life. Have to drive to get most places.
A lonely rainy day in a LA still looks a thousand times better than a lonely rainy day in London right now that I got soaked in
fair
speak for yourself
Agree
If you ever visit London you will know that nothing compares to its dullness and miserable weather, I mean have you ever thought why the Brits colonized the world!? it is to run away from that terrible weather 😆. No matter how bad LA is today, it will never be worse than London @@beyolighter2131
Could not disagree more.
Funnily enough, all the pros and cons you listed in this video were all the reasons I moved away from LA. I grew up and lived in the region my whole life and always dreamed of leaving, it was too much concrete, too much pollution, too many run-down buildings and unsafe streets, and it was too difficult to find new friends with depth. When all my friends moved away, I tried making new ones, but in LA/Orange County, it's too difficult. With nothing left to tie me to the region, I left and never looked back. I'm happy for anyone who loves living in LA, "you do you" I say, but it wasn't for me. Still, it was interesting to hear your perspectives on living in LA and it's always good to hear when someone finds a place they thrive in.
Where do you live now Alex? Ive lived in Torrance-southern suburb of los angeles, my whole life and I'm really tired of it.
My boyfriend and I moved down here from San Francisco about a year and a half ago for my work. It’s been very hard getting to know people here. I always think if I didn’t have him and we each other, it would be so much lonelier. We have a few friends, in our small apartment building luckily enough, but it felt like in SF before the pandemic it was easy to meet people and make friends, similar to what you were describing about New York.
I'm from London but I love LA so much. Went there on vacation a few times and was mesmerized by it all. What attracts me to it every time is it's expansiveness and natural beauty that I truly love about LA and California. I think LA and California has the perfect balance of city and nature which I adore. Also, I know LA has a stereotype that the people are self-centered and superficial, but I've found the people to be so down to earth and calm. I think it's down to the almost year round sunshine that Cali has. LA is a truly inspiring city where you can be anyone you want to be - a city shaped by its people.
Agree 100%
Preach
Also from London and also agree that the people are down to earth. Think the people who complain about LA people probably spend their time working in the film and tv industry so they're only around a certain type of person.
Me reading this from London with my scarf on in May, a flu, stuck in doors , and contemplating whether to move to LA 😅
@@ona_tzar Ever been there on holiday? What do you like about LA
the algorithm is so funny because I just moved to LA from NYC for my first job post-grad! living in culver city and love being around the transit / downtown area because I can not drive 😭
You're 100% right. New York is a much more social city compared to Los Angeles.
BUT - If you're looking for a sense of community and people walking around and hanging out in parks, try moving to San Francisco... I think you'd really like it there. It's a little quieter than New York, but it still has a strong sense of community and it's a lot of fun walking around all the neighborhoods there. It has a ton of hiking opportunities, great jobs, fantastic weather (always 60 degrees - sometimes cloudy, sometimes dry), and walking around Golden Gate Park feels almost the same as walking around Central Park.
What you said about LA not being a good place for introverts is spot on in my opinion! I lived in WeHo which is arguably one of the most walkable places in LA, but I still moved out because I hated still having to drive everywhere and, as you said, meeting up with others or doing anything is such a hassle because of traffic (I used to not go anywhere on weekday nights because of this). Now I'm much happier in Tokyo where I can do things spontaneously on my own or with friends and feel that 'sense of community' from just walking around, but also from things like local festivals and events, which I think is lacking in LA.
I lived in different parts of Asia for years. From LA. I found living in Asia was much better. Great nightlife too. It’s literally impossible for an expat to be lonely in Asia. Once you go out and experience things. Why I love traveling. Living in other countries.
Yeah it’s really hard. I can’t believe you had money to live in weho and left! I’m stuck in my college apartment still 10 years post grad due to the cost of living crisis and can’t afford to move away from CSUN which is so far away traffic wise from the westside and downtown and the beach where all the jobs / young people / recreational activities are. My life in the valley is so boring, but i couldn’t afford to move even if i had to 😢
@@shadowfilm7980i wish traveling was more affordable / accessible, i love it too but can’t afford it!
@@lexa_powerhow's CSUN?
That's not L.A. It's the whole world, dude. We're all online now mostly. No matter the city
This resonates with me so much. I do think you have to put in way more effort to build community in LA (sometimes it feels impossible) compared to other places in SoCal like OC. And all the reasons you pointed out are spot on. Great video, Michael!
Thanks so much!!
Interesting you feel that way about OC considering they have no public Metro rail system, only buses. Their public transit infrastructure truly sucks.
I'm an introvert who lived and worked in Manhattan and now live in LA. I feel like I get enough social interaction at work, and during the evenings or weekends, my home and neighborhood are my sanctuaries, completely separate from work, where I don't have to deal with people if I don't want to. I don't feel lonely at all and love the peace and quiet of my home and neighborhood, while still having access to some of the best food, shopping, and tourist attractions in the country. The line between my home and the rat race was more blurred in NYC, where the smaller apartments facing busy streets or other apartments and doormen and elevators and shared laundry rooms and forced interactions were constant and never allowed me to completely detach from the hustle and bustle outside.
Since you're a content creator, I assume you work from home often? I can see how that eliminates the social interaction you'd otherwise get from work and cause loneliness. I think I'd get lonely if I worked from home.
not a full time creator but I do work a remote 9-5! definitely plays a factor, for sure. I totally get your sentiment, too, in NYC after in-office work I would generally appreciate hiding from people. lol
YT vlogger Cash Jordan whose channel focuses on mainly apartments for rent in NYC has given me a different impression of the US's largest city. Beyond that, NYC is both better & worse than it was decades ago, just as LA is too. However, a city like San Francisco, which traditionally has had a friendlier reputation, is more noticeably in weaker shape right now than it was in the past. A few other major cities, such as Miami, are less mixed between good/bad & generally better in 2024 than they were in 2014 or 1994. But YMMV.
I saw a YT vid about a media influencer (Barbara Corcoran of Shark Tank---never watched it, but I've read it's about real estate investing) who said she felt better in her trailer home (yep, but an expensive one) in Malibu than in her fancy penthouse apartment on the UES that overlooks Central Park. The look, weather, terrain & vibes of places throughout the US & world are all different. Sunlight in LA/SoCal is also known to be different: Actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus in 2016: "We never shot anything exterior during the day in California to stand in for the East Coast because the light is so different there."
@@MichaelMartelloCan you go work in an office space a few days a week? That might help.
Well said, and very true in LA.
I was a lot LESS lonely when i worked from home because i didn’t have to spend 2 hours a day on the freeway. Your co workers are NOT your friends. Your friends outside of work are your friends and with commuting I don’t have time to see any of them, literally ever 😢
I think it has more to do that it gets harder to meet quality friends after high school/college regardless of where you live. I grew up in LA so my experience is totally different than the transplants experience, but my best friends to this day were people I spent a lot of time with on a regular basis in school. When that part of my life was over, I saw my friends less and less the older I got. That’s just life though. Besides my wife, the people I know at work, and the people I train with at my gym, it gets harder to make new friends. Most people I’ve known after my school days just end up being acquaintances that will enter and leave my life as time goes on.
I moved here about 2 months ago, I still haven met a single person haha, I mean Im not persuing any creative career but I still enjoy the culture of the city and the things to do, Since I dont have a car I have to use metro and just as you said (Is not great experience) you still can take up to one hour from reaching to placer that in a car would take 10 min is very bad. And One thing to say You dont only have to create your own social energy you also have to invest in it, if you want to meet people most of the time you have to pay to go events or local meetups (Mostly because of the lack of parks and public social spaces like you mentioned) It was an amazing video, ty so much it made me feel a little bit better and helped me understanding this city a bit more.
Thanks for sharing your experience! Glad it resonated and hope you’re still managing to have a good time here!
You can't get very far in 10 minutes in your car in LA. In fact, in several cases the LA Metro can be faster during rush hour. And rush hour window is only growing both in the morning and evening
The LA Metro also continues to expand. Many projects will come online over the next several years.
@@mrxman581can you please give an example of a route that’s faster on the metro during rush hour? 🤔
Saludos Juan Rios
ill be your amigooooo
I lucked out tbh, because although I am a transplant (of 6 years at this point) my mother was born in Long Beach. Most of my family is from CA so I’ve always had them out there, but I’m no stranger to striking up a convo with a stranger. I guess LA is all about what you want to get out of it.
Exactly. I've always said LA is what you make of it.
It is, but you have to have a thick skin and get ready for most friends to ghost after so long 😢💔
We have similar weather in Vegas (excluding our desert summers) and I find it quite lonely as well. I’m so tired of the monsoons and then June Gloom. 💞
Another gem Michael. I so relate to this video. I really love LA but I truly miss the community feel of NYC. I would love to get a totally remote job so that I can live in both cities.
Isn’t that the dream?
I’ve been searching for a remote job for years with no luck 😭💔🙏🏻 praying for us
You're correct that LA's size works against it. LA County is the most populated county in the country and measures about 4800 square miles and LA Metro is responsible for supplying public transit rail service for all of it. Very different from NY.
However, LA Metro is continually expanding it. Within the next 12 years 9 different rail transit projects will be completed and expand the rail system from around 110 miles to about 180 miles. It will likely be the biggest expansion of any city in the USA.
As you age , meeting friends is more difficult, except in certain communities and societies. It used to be far more friendly when communicating was the normal, way.
Coming from the UK, I'd really miss the ability to "just pop out to the shops/pub" if I lived in LA. Getting home from a night out in London is bad enough once the tubes stop running or, heaven forbid, going "south of the river" but I can't imagine going out for drinks and sitting in the back of an uber, stuck on a highway, bursting for a pee cos I drank one too many drinks. What do people do when going out there?! Now that I'm a little older though, and had my fill of nights out, the nice weather and quieter, solo life in LA would suit me better. Visited there 2 years ago and loved it - bloody expensive though!
We sit in the back of an Uber in traffic for an hour and if you have to use the bathroom life sucks and then you die 🤷🏼♀️ the only other option is drive drunk or don’t go out. The subway stops at midnight but the bars are open til 2. Go figure.
In New York or San Francisco, you quickly make connections and will likely have an active social life within a year. In LA on the other hand, it’ll probably take you 2-3 years to get the same thing going just because of the way the city is designed and not the fault of the people who live here. It’s unfortunate because LA really does offer a great quality of life but the trade off is that theres a lot of social friction due to car centric design that makes it difficult to feel a sense of community or build new relationships.
This is so true!
What if you live in a more walkable place like Santa Monica?
You are amazing.. thank you for always giving your viewers your down to earth, honest opinions about living in LA.. We are there for your adventures...
thanks so much!
Get out of Los Angeles that whole area is downright disgusting and awful. That place is so suburban and superficial. It doesn’t have much of a downtown area and the city and its suburbs are mostly alienating low rise sprawl. It is also outrageous in living costs. What anyone sees in LA just makes no sense.
Hi Michael. The fact that you had the courage to come here, alone , knowing no one and at least seeing what it's like to actually live here, speaks volumes. There is so much to see, so many great places to visit and of course, so many awesome people to meet up and down the coast. Once you start venturing out a bit more our fantastic Golden State will seem smaller and less lonely, I'm like Col. Sanders.. "my face is all over the place".. every chance I get I am in the car and off I go to explore even more, I've been doing that for years and hope you do as well. Great video BTW.
Just finished watching this. I’m always struck by how thoughtful and how interesting your videos are. As an introvert who is interested in moving to LA long-term I often wonder how I would go making friends there. I now know I will just have to get out of my head and go to meet up groups and to find activities and hobbies that I’m interested in so I can find my tribe too. 😊
In a previous video, you mentioned not liking DTLA, but living in DTLA addresses all the issues you mentioned. It's by far my favorite neighborhood in LA.
Interesting! DTLA is such a small pocket of “LA” though, and I personally don’t love the ambience of it. I’m going to plan on spending some more time there
@@MichaelMartello Living in DTLA is very different from visiting. I live in one of the luxury apartments. The building is 51 stories, and I've met many interesting neighbors. Also, it's great to walk to amazing coffee shops and restaurants and take the subway to Japantown, Hollywood, Korea town, and Culver City. Downtown is really the only walkable neighborhood in LA. I lived in the westside before moving to SF, and when I moved back to LA, I sought somewhere walkable to avoid the things you complained about.
@MichaelMartello It depends on how you define DTLA. It's also the most connected neighborhood with the LA Metro rail system, and very walkable. Have you used the three newest underground stations in DTLA? They are arguably the best located stations on LA Metro, and they're well designed and look great with cool artwork.
Do you find DTLA safe to walk around these days? I personally usually dismiss DTLA because it feels very dangerous, but maybe that was just during COVID.
@@MichaelMartello please do a video on DTLA. It seems like the most walkable area for those of us coming from the UK and Europe. It looks like new york a bit too if you squint. you have a cool bookstore. do a video!!
As a native Angeleno, I understand your perspective about feeling isolated. I say isolated because it's a more accurate term for what you describe.
A big part of not feeling isolated has to do with the kind of job you have too. I work at a local university and surrounded by a beautiful campus with people from all over the world. I end up meeting people naturally when I go to lunch, meetings, etc. Of course, I have my family and long time friends. However, even with these friends, many times we still need to schedule an outing. Over time, many of us have moved further away so it's more difficult to be spontaneous, but still in SoCal.
Los Angeles is what you make of it. That's why it can be a very different city for different people.
Joining local clubs is a great way to meet people. I used to regularly play in a tennis league, ride in a bike club, and belong to a few special interest groups like the LA Conservancy.
You can also volunteer for an organization you want to support. A great way to meet like minded people.
The Los Angeles public transit infrastructure is better than people realize. It's not as ubiquitous as it is in NYC yet, but you can get to many places. It's just that you need to do a little homework first if you're not familiar with the various systems. And the LA Metro network is continually expanding. For example you have: LA Metro rail which consists of 2 subway lines, and 4 light rail lines. 114 Metro bus lines, Metro Micro ride sharing service, DASH bus, public bike sharing, and Metrolink. I wouldn't be surprised even if you didn't know of all these various public transit options.
Yes, Los Angeles might make you work a little harder to get to know her and its people, but it's so worth it in the end.
"Los Angeles might make you work a little harder to get to know her and its people, but it's so worth it in the end." -- Good to know!
The metro has become so unsafe for women. I took it regularly from 2006-2018 almost every day and since the pandemic I don’t feel safe taking it anymore. Only Metro Micro is safe but it doesn’t serve my address and would drop me down the street several bus stops away - too much hassle and exposure to the elements, so I’m forced to just rely on Ubers which are too expensive now. Really no good way to get around aside from driving sadly. They need to increase frequency a lot to make any of the metro stuff sustainable, put tons of lights and benches and shelters at all the bus stops, and let me stop there cause they already ain’t gonna do all that 😂
It's a he
A little late for the party here but I loved this video!! As a pedestrian 90% of the time I can't imagine not having the option of walking easily. I'm a fan of City Nerd and Alan Fisher just love their content.🍎💚
This is actually a brilliant piece of work. Very cool - well done!!
Born and raised in LA I know it has its issues but I do love my city. I think when it comes to putting in effort it's definitely must. I have my group of friends from childhood who we all spread out in LA so we're not as close in proximity anymore. So I decided to take a day we are all free and go on a walk in silverlake. So that is our meeting point and we walk a few laps and catch up. Throughout the week we talk a bit maybe play some games but usually we interact the most during the weekend. As an introvert that is a good amount of interaction, plus my job has me socializing a lot throughout the week.
Great video
I am sorry to see you feeling lonely in LA. Hope the weather gets better for you soon.
How about meeting other RUclipsrs an do some collabs? The GIV (German in Venice) with his always sunny mentality comes to mind. If he is half as uplifting a person as his videos are, he must be fun to be around.
Hope you're not leaving LA, your videos mean so much to me. (Very selfish sentence, I am sry.... 😉)
Have you ever thought about moving to a smaller city that is still close enough to LA to get there relatively fast?
haha no plan of leaving!😇so glad you enjoy!
German in Venice is so great! I’ve lived in LA since 2006 and still haven’t run into him 😢 i think he’s at his shop on the weekends but i only go to Venice on weekdays when it’s less crowded.
This was a great video , Michael.
I know people here in Utah, who are not religious at all , but have joined churches for the sense of community and "belonging", something I really found interesting.
I'm from Spain and currently living in Utah I have found what you have described , people being very lonely due to different factors.
There are hiking groups , martial arts clubs and many other activities where you can meet people and make long lasting friendships as well as finding a love partner.
Anyway , one of these days I'm going to bump into you in LA and treat you to a Oatmilk latte 😅
Great insight! Always craving an oat latte🤣☕️
I moved to LA two years ago. Social connections are easy (especially at a workout classes) but also really difficult to sustain. It feels like people already have their “folks” and additional friends are a lot to handle… I just moved to Culver City .. so let’s see how this works out!
I live in Colorado and vacation a lot in Los Angeles.
When i try to do tourist activities, they take lots of time.
When i have out, like in just one city. I have more free time and enjoy myself so much more.
Thank for sharing ❤
Very interesting social commentary, you are making many good points in a nuanced way. You have a natural talent for this, keep it up and don’t worry about potential naysayers in the comments. You are doing great!
Appreciate that so much!!
I love parks as well! We actually have a lack of Parks in LA especially on the westside it’s sad that a lot of free space there is occupied by country clubs
I moved to LA from Mumbai in 2015 and my husband has been living here since 2001. Although, I am an extrovert, It is so lonely here. I have no friends who I can hang out with for a happy hour after work. People here meet only on weekends and those have to be booked in advance. I miss the walkability that other cities like NYC, and Chicago offer. Public transportation is not reliable if you want to travel across counties. We recently moved from inland to South Bay side in LA and love the beach community. I haven't made any friends yet but just enjoy seeing everyone get outdoors - walk, run, and cycle on the beach. Someone said this to me few years ago, "people on the west coast are nice but not helpful and people on the east coast are helpful but not nice," hence, people from NYC get a rep for being rude.
Thank you, have lived in Los Angeles for 40-years and, I love this quote (smile...smile).
0:22 cool Luke’s diner decor in your kitchen. I also find Los Angeles gets lonelier for me every year. I don’t have any family here and most of my friends have left or ghosted me and aren’t friends anymore. I really want to make new friends and make new connections. I get most of my socializing through parasocial relationships like this, and would love to have a tribe of people who care about me too 😢💔
LA dosnt have much public transportation and driving everywhere is common. But this can be also related to other major cities
True! When I go hiking to like Verdugo peak over Burbank I meet like 2 people the whole day (on Sunday). Everyone is either tired cheesed off watching TV or driving somewhere. The streets outside BB downtown are completely empty, loud cars are everywhere. It's not a pleasant place to be. There are not many squares where people could sit and watch. It's all loud intersections, no benches (homeless would take over) and people always rushing (only god know why everybody is rushing on Sunday). Overall, the vibe is kinda sad (rain/no rain). Compared to place I had lived before (Prague), this feels like slow social death. Will not endure this for much longer (moving out). Anyone who loves LA, good for you, enjoy;-)
I moved here with a good friend and my partner in September of 2022 and none of us feel we have made genuine friendships yet. A lot of it is on us though, both my partner and I work remotely in tech and just hangout in our neighborhood and surrounding cities (shoutout the Southbay). I need to start going to meetups for my hobbies or get an in office job so I can make some new friends! It is really difficult to leave my comfort zone with my partner and such, but I know it will be worth it.
Maybe get a job at UCLA or USC. You'll meet people from all over the world, and surrounded by beautiful campuses.
Co workers are not your friends! Trust me on that one.
yep. i learned that one the hard way.@@lexa_power
I like the cooler, rainier weather in LA right now. However, if the climate were like that more days of the year - or even colder & wetter, or snowier - the novelty might run out. But most people throughout the world live in places where the weather is either colder or hotter, wetter or drier or more tropical or more snowy. An article from years ago said that the US views Ca/LA the way that Europe views America. So happiness or disappointment is always around the corner. Similarly, the pros & cons of cities like NYC, LA, SF, Chicago, Boston, Miami, Denver, Atlanta, Seattle, Dallas, etc, date back generations, so they'll probably remain true indefinitely.
I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way. I live in Manhattan beach and I honestly love it here. I find it overall a friendly place and I don’t have any difficulty in socializing. I know from another video of yours that you like this area. If you ever feeling coming over here and walk to go for a walk or a stroll hit me up!
Do you think your positive experience is due to living in such a high income area? I’m guessing residents around you are mostly independently wealthy and don’t have to worry about money or capitalism?
I live in working class Reseda and no one ever has any time to hang out because jobs don’t pay enough and we all have to work 3+ jobs to make ends meet 😢 must be nice to be born rich lol.
As someone who's lived in LA since I was 4 (currently 24), I've also noticed how lonely it can feel here, especially when I can't see my friends for periods of time
Hi
I really wish our metro system was better. Great video bro.
You should check out Kenneth Hahn Park near Baldwin Hills.
I’ve been coming to LA since 2016. 16-19, I would spend a couple weekends a month in Santa Monica / Venice. There were more days than not where I was the only person on the beach. It felt like I had the whole city to myself. Boggled my mind when I consider how many people live here. During those years, I would fly into LAX and hop on the C bus to Santa Monica and walk everywhere else. Walking felt like a foreign concept here. There is a weird anxiety when you walk in LA because of the lack of fellow pedestrians. I’d walk up Santa Monica Boulevard from Palisades Park to my hotel in Sawtelle and not see another pedestrian.
I finally decided to leave Colorado after 28 years and moved to the Palm Springs area. I don’t like the humidity, fog, clouds, cool of the coast. It’s not sunny very often. Many of my weekends to Venice in 2016-2019 were foggy, cloudy, rainy…. The CA sunshine is true in the desert, not the coast. The weather really isn’t that great. I’d rather be in Denver.
After a year out here I am about ready to move home. I can fly to LAX from DIA for around $80 round trip. I’d rather live in Colorado and visit here when I feel the urge. It’s the same cost to fly from Denver for the weekend as it is to drive from Palm Springs for the day because of the crazy gas prices.
On top of that I am looking out my window right now at the police presence across the street. I called them once again because of the squatters that have taken over the luxury home across the street are outside causing problems. I have a hard time paying rent and taxes while looking across the street at others living for free. This state needs to get its’ sh*% together.
I also thought it would be a nice place for a gay man like myself. Nope. Denver is much better. CA has no community. Everyone is out for #1. People are not interested unless you have something to offer them. Nobody just hangs out.
Speaking on luxury cars…. I brought out two cars. My 180k Volvo manual with fading paint and my new Audi Sport SUV. I’ve put 1,000 miles on the Audi this past year. I’ve driven the Volvo 95% of the time. The reason I leave the Audi at home is because CA people are pretentious and impressed by shiny things. To me it’s just a car. I don’t like people being impressed by my car, or having expectations of me based on the car I drive. God could drive by in a golden chariot with unicorns pooping rainbows and I wouldn’t do a double take. Envy and jealousy are my biggest turn offs. Go out and get yours or shut up.
Love your videos. Great content that has helped me ponder my options. I will either be here in CA through the end of May, June, or August. I have my old home in Denver on hold for September move in.
Also….on your other video you mentioned it being crazy to move out with your savings. I did that. I had a plan thought. I told myself to go out and enjoy it, see if it’s somewhere I want to live. I budgeted a year with enough to go home and be comfortable if I decided to bail. I don’t regret it one bit. I did find work at a hotel and was promoted to director of the hotel in just one short month. I had to leave that job because the morals and ethics of the owner didn’t sit well with me. It was a very disturbing environment that only CA could allow. I don’t regret it. If I stay, it will be worth it. If I go, it will be worth it. It’s either the start of a chapter, or just a short chapter.
I admire your childlike wonder. I go through life with it as well. Not many are gifted that privilege. Thanks for your help.
PS, there are no parks in LA. Not like back in Colorado where you can find lots of city parks, and just roam around and hang out with other people. Many of the parks here cater to the homeless and not the taxpayers.
I love taking Metro from Long Beach to LA all the time. Sadly, I do feel like it's so sketch at times with mentally Ill always on each ride, but it's just too good to not take for a night out, UBER back of course...
Same, I used to really enjoy taking the metro to DTLA. Did it for many years. But now with the attacks & murders going limit my ventures. Prepandemic I was fearless now I just dont take the risk.
@@solegonz762 update- I feel like I see more and more “normal “ people taking the metro these days. Perhaps things are starting to take a turn and the crazies are starting to weed out
I think when LA finally finishes the d line extensions and the airport connection I really think it will function more like a city and feel less isolating. It’s the one of the North American cities investing most in extending its network so I have some confidence. LA has an uphill battle to literally become the city it used to be before succumbing to car centrism. If it can pull that off it would be one of the best cities in world.
I made a lot of friends in LA. It started off by meeting one friend, then he introduced me to a bunch of his friends, so I guess I got it pretty easy.
Hey buddy, try Vancouver Canada. It has a bit of whatever NY and LA have to offer, small, cozy, nice, nature heaven, Pacific beaches, the Cafe culture, a nice weather (except for the rains), etc.
I watched a video on Seattle vs New York and he said a quote I will never forget " you feel anonymous and important at the same time" which feels amazing in the moment but is ultimately isolating and not healthy video is by script Shepard. he had the most life changing facts.
Honestly, I think you should move to Hillcrest, San Diego. It's pretty small (but still likely larger than Culver City) and feels like a community.
I lived in Hillcrest for a year. I enjoyed it but lost my job so I came back to the east coast. Now I have a remote job and I'm also torn between LA vs NYC now. I picked NYC for the next year since it's where my friends are (and I didn't want to move across the country twice in year lol).
Check out the bar Inside Out.
San Diego is slow paced though, so you won't have the energy of NYC or the hustle of LA. But it's a nice, relaxing SoCal experience.
Balboa Park is also nice, but Central Park is much more alive.
I made most of my friends through working at restaurants when I first moved here 13 years ago, but a lot of my friends moved away during or shortly after the pandemic (for multiple reasons, the largest of which was wanting to afford a house so they could have kids or retire) and it has been really, really hard to meet new people. I love this city and I love California, but I definitely wish it had better public transit and more ways to meet new people without it being so awkward.
Thanks for the video. I also think city of Toronto otherwise known as Hollywood north becoming alot of the same. Rents are becoming very unaffordable and owning a place maybe 1 million unless you find a deal. Anyhow thanks for the video and it would be cool to visit LA but I'm betting its probably alot like Toronto.
Totally get what you mean, NYC is way more easier to make friends but the nature and weather is hard to leave back to NYC 😂
this!!!
This!!!
I don't mean to imply that NYC is better than LA in this regard, but getting to nature from NYC is not as difficult as many people think. Examples: Metro North trains to great Hudson Valley hikes like Breakneck Ridge; Cycling across the GW Bridge to the Palisades Park and Hudson Valley; ferry, subway, (or in my case a long run) to the ocean waves at Rockaway Beach (or Sandy Hook). A car is not needed for any of these day/half day excursions.
@@DWNY358 Some of us just prefer Mediterranean and Sub tropical flora and fauna, oceans, sun, deserts, golden earth,vibrant and unique flowers... God, I'm from NYC, and the deciduous ecosystem there couldn't be more dull, lackluster and uninviting to me... not a forest person either. I'll take year round vibrant palms and hibiscus and bougainvillea and sage and passionflower any day over dense forests and grass.
You don't know me but I pop down the coast to LA as much as possible. I'd be happy to invite you out and introduce you to some of my friends down there. Maybe more friend circles would help?
I'd also like to echo the idea of maybe considering a move to other neighborhood if you want that community vibe ✌️
haha appreciate it! I should mention again I have a great social circle in LA, it’s just the overall ambience of the city that makes it feel lonely for many
@@MichaelMartello yes I know you mentioned having some social circles. I just want you to have more friends so you don't feel so isolated 🙂
@@MichaelMartelloHmm...is that the introvert in you saying that? Put yourself out there, why not accept her invitation to meet new people? You might even meet a special person. I would be honored to accept an open and kind invitation like that. It's not a common occurrence. Don't take the opportunity for granted. You have nothing to lose. Go for it!
When I moved to LA I found it easy to make friends. I was going to school, living on my own and went out every weekend to socialize, maybe that's why. Going to a park in LA or anywhere to meet people seems odd to me. I go to parks to get away from it all, including other people. LA is not a park oriented city, it's a beach one. Both Central Park and the beaches in LA are like the release value on a pressure cooker. Where in NYC does one go to jump in the water to cool off or hear the relaxing waves of the ocean? I love that about LA and CA in general.
New York City is not just Manhattan, New York City has beaches as well.
@@jayinthelife8280 So what are they called, do they have sand? Are they free of noise like ships? Can you go year round?
@@2Bluzin Orchard beach in The Bronx
Rockaway Beach in queens
Coney island\Brighton beach in Brooklyn
@@2BluzinMontauk, Bellport, Fire Island, the Hamptons, the Rockaways
Aren't cities in the countryside more interesting to live and work? Is the cost of life the same as in L.A? I feel like visiting Bakersfield or Santa Rosa near San Francisco, they seem comfortable because of less population, less traffic jams etc.
Yeah I've been in LA for 1,583 days and I have virtually no new friends.
As a visitor to LA, my lasting impression was that the city was built for cars, not people - so much surface area of the city is dedicated to car infrastructure - freeways; parking lots; strip-malls surrounded by parking lots - and most of the cars are (selfish) single occupants - little opportunity to have incidental interactions with others - socially, it feels quite isolating and cold - for visitors, and can be a really dull experience, travelling slowly over vast distances, to end up somewhere as grubby and disappointing as Hollywood Boulevard; or even worse, the bland and dangerous downtown.
Because it's my favourite place you don't really feel or care what people think
My I recommend some self-reflection, how you process your emotions are within you not in the external for example living in Los Angeles is not at fault for your loneliness. I may live alone but I have never felt lonely in Chicago or LA.
thanks for your response! It's not really about me or how I feel, but that the city overall lacks community and togetherness because of how it's built. and like I mentioned in the vid, that could also be a good thing - as it forces you out of your comfort zone to meet new people (it did for me).
@@MichaelMartelloLA doesn't lack community. It just expresses it differently. LA has a history of marching to the beat of a different drum.
@@mrxman581 Absolutely! 🤩No city in the world is responsible for processing a human emotion. Everything lies within you. I love LA!
@@MichaelMartello Thank you for clarifying. I'm glad I can find a 100 feet of alone time sitting on beach. I like to think of LA as America's largest suburb, it's corky and that's why I love LA so much!
I will say that LA truly lacks easily accessible parks. Like you said, you have to drive there and beaches and hiking don’t really count. Both are great but just strolling down to the park is not typical here. Griffith park is really nice but most of it isn’t flat and open like Central Park or Golden Gate Park. The remaining parks are generally small and barren. As someone who lives closer to downtown LA it is a shame. Gloria Molina Park and the State park in Chinatown is nice but my favorite one near downtown is the hermosa vista which actually feels like proper green space to picnic and relax while having a great view of the skyline. MacArthur Park is nice when it’s not scary and echo park is just too small. The city just needs more green space and not all these golf courses
Spot on
I agree. That's why I plan on moving back to Denver where there are lots of city parks and areas to roam and hang out with other people.
Millions of folks have been migrating to L.A. & SoCal for the warm climate. I've heard many tell me during the '60's they left the East Coast/Midwest because they didn't want to shovel anymore snow. Finding work wasn't a problem back then. I'd strongly recommend visiting L.A. first & test the job/housing market before moving to L.A.
my boy lived in La 15 years ago and definitley lived a lonely life and developed a orsening drug problem. you need a big group of friends there
It’s funny that LA isn’t walkable because in Curb Your Enthusiasm almost a quarter of the show is just shots of Larry David wandering around aimlessly.
There is a way to improve the pedestrian environment! Vote Yes for HLA on March 5th! It's a bill to improve sidewalks and bike lanes in LA!
Yes thank you!
1:29 REBUILT* US cities urban walkable cores were paved over to make them suburban. Cities in America used to be thriving, vibrant urban areas. They weren't always car sewers
One word. Disney. Disneyland was my happy place when I lived out there because you could just people watch and reenergize. It costs an arm and a leg but for introverts I think it's one of the best places to go.
As an introvert, Disney sounds like an expensive nightmare.
@@_b_u_l_l_s_h_a_r_k_ I mean define introverness, cause like I consider myself a Introvert and Never actually had a problem with disneyland is not like you have to talk to anybody or anybody is going to talk to you, you can just mind your own activities while watching all the other people around enjoying theirs (Just like any theme park really) If being around too much people is the problem then you are not just an introvert, you have social anxiety (Which is fine)
@@_b_u_l_l_s_h_a_r_k_ as rumplestiltskin once said "all magic comes at a price"
@@juansebastianriosubeda4693You can do the same at the beach or visit the UCLA campus. They have outdoor sculpture gardens and places to relax and have something to eat. Great places to people watch or start a conversation. And costs a lot less than Disneyland. 🙂
❤❤
Hello Michael, I Find your Videos Accurate, as well as Entertaining. I Live in the West Adams District, and I work in Santa Monica. It's only an 11 Mile Drive. This Last Rainy Season Was Brutal. Cheers Michael.
I wish LA’s public transportation was better! They are trying to expand it and make it better but it’s hard especially with the homeless problem
Lived in LA for 36 years. As a single guy. I never ever get lonely. No. To each his/her own though. Some people have to have someone. Be with other people. I’ve travelled the world. Lived in other countries and I had to learn to do many things including just surviving by myself. So living in LA alone is no big deal. Actually I like it. Freedom! So important. Freedom! No ball and chain around my ankle! 😎😆👍
This video is pretty darn spot on. Been here 2 1/2 years, and that's been 2 years too long immersed in this lonely concrete black hole full of fraudulent personalities and too few affordable restaurants. Can't wait to come back and visit for short spurts, though!
Seeing palm trees in a gray rainy climate is somewhat strange, I suppose.
Wait isnt it sunny there all the time ?
stereotypically, but not in reality. lol. Usually pretty pleasant though!
@@MichaelMartello do you recommend the move from nyc to?
I used to live in Los Angeles and felt the same way. So I decided to move to a city that had the density, walkability and neighborhood feel of New York but without the harsh winter weather. I moved to San Francisco. And, from the 90s up until Covid lockdowns, remote work, and defund the police turned this city into a basket case, I loved it here. Now...the city is largely dead. Downtown is like zombieland and people have become very insular. I feel lonelier here than I ever did in LA. I visit LA a couple of times a year, and I find that it's just a more dynamic, fun and yes, friendly city. I'm thinking about moving back.
great insight! I oddly enough have barely spent any time in SF.
These days...you aren't missing anything. @@MichaelMartello
Michael!!!!!!!!
hi!
@@MichaelMartello what up man I'm moving to la in may I want to know what restaurants are good for vegans
When you mentioned cars it’s so damn expensive
As an introvert myself I do prefer to live in a congested area where as soon as you step outside your front door you're in the mix of random people walking. I like NYC because you can be a warn out blue collar person randomly walking in a crowd and nobody stares at you.
I got a lot of stares
Start a family .
That's why people have them .you can see many people during the day but you need noise in the house.
And there’s a train that goes directly to dwntwn culver. Directly
Yeah LA is a lonely place! I used to go to Airliners Collectible shows at LAX! So lots of like minded buddies! Know the area around Westchester La Diera Heights El Segundo My late Cousin used to live in Buena Park 🏞️ near Los Coyotes Hills Golf ⛳ Course! Liked OC! Years ago he got us Tickets to the Tonight show!
I am a weird person. Very introverted but want to connect. Difficult to explain. I live in LA now and it does not feel lonely at all. I have made great friends and many acquaintances. One sentence in the text you read out loud stuck out. "Quality friends" Maybe that is the issue. People are looking for quality friends. The perfect companion who understands you, has the same interests... Just like a relationship. Why though?? I find people fascinating especially if they are totally different. I have noticed that people I have met in a group who I kept my distance from, turned out to be great once you got to know them a little. It is work and it feels awkward sometimes but it's worth it.
You said something great that I will use from now on. "You don't end up somewhere, you have to go there". That is so true. Except downtown. I have moved downtown last November and love it cause when you go out - and I will go outside more once it gets warmer - you do end up somewhere. Grand Central Market, Last Bookstore, Bradbury building, Angel Flight, City Hall, The Library,... I have gotten used to the grimyness of a downtown environment and once you are over the "I am scared" part, it is actually very fascinating. And I am originally from safe and boring Germany where nothing bad ever happened.
Lived here for 13 years and I can definietly say, the people are stinky. Between all the narcissists and sociopaths, we had a few good friends but they all moved out of LA because of how ridiculously expensive its becoming. People are definitely flaky here. They will keep trying to make plans with you and then cancel last minute. It's honestly exhausting.
It's expensive because everyone wants to live here! Find your nitch and enjoy.
@@edwardlagrossa1246 It's 'niche'.Nothing worth moving here except for beaches and weather. San Diego and OC are way better than LA. It has been an expensive commie dump for so long, no one even cares anymore, they just roam about like zombies everyday working 4 jobs just to live in this poop infested mess.
Many give up here not feeling worthy because they are poor
LA City is not a good place to live. LA County and other California counties have smaller cities with better quality of life. The traffic is bad everywhere you go. That’s why it’s easier to live someplace with less congested traffic. Loneliness is a problem, but you’ll survive.
I'm fascinated by LA and California in general but my european brain is almost imcapable to process the fact that you have to use the car so much. It's so different to major european cities where the public transport works pretty well and/or the city centres are so dense and walkable that a car is just completely unnecessary.
Our train lines were torn down and designed from the ground up to be car centric
New York L city, LA on top of
People are working 3 jobs and live with 3 roommates so they see people all the time
I'm coming on March 13-23rd if you need a friend we can hangout
Car dependency breeds loneliness
Nothing uglier than LA on a rainy day
'I wonder why I live alone here!
I wonder why we spend
These nights together!
Is this the room I live
My life forever -
I wonder why in LA!
To Live and Die in LA!'
Wang Chung-To Live and Die in LA!
Depends which place is right for me
We're very isolated in the US, it's certainly not unique to LA. There's no real sense of community and even just going outside for a walk is difficult if you live in a strip mall suburb.
You don't have to live in NYC to live in a walkable community. There are other cities and walkable small towns that exist in the US. It wouldn't be that complicated to turn the suburbs into a more walkable space. You don't need to have a high population density to make this happen. You can create sidewalks and bike lanes that are separate from the road. Then build a light rail going all the way down the stroads. Have some mixed housing added to the stroads, but keep the cul de sac neighborhoods so you can have both.
No one is even willing to have the conversation. It's sad
truth! I just think people flock to NYC because it’s the easiest city to provide that sense of high density community. I wish more of the US had that
Don't bother
this is because Everybody is Working to pay the BILLS
New York is like the social talkative family members
LA is like that one anti social person
Very similar to Sydney
LA is the only city I've lived in where beautiful women show up in your living room unannounced. Under the right circumstances, it really is like Two and a Half Men.
You watch too much TV!
I'm a born and raised Angeleno and I feel a huge sense of community. You probably didn't know this but there is a huge presence of Hispanics here (mostly Mexicans).
Obviously not on the west side but south and East of DT. Every time I go and get street food it feels like I'm ordering it from Mexico. Feels so great to have many people that look like me all around.