How To Move Towards Peace
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
- How To Move Towards Peace #AskATherapist //
After you know what peace is, how do you move towards it? Watch this video to learn how to create peace in your life.
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• How To Move Towards Pe...
OMG. "I wasn't loveable once you really got to know me." I have a speech I tell all my new friends. "You might like me now but eventually you won't anymore cause I get on people's nerves. Just let me down easy when you get sick of me, ok?" And I was also "bullied mercilessly" in elementary and things got better in junior and high school. ❤️ I've been watching you on Cinema Therapy for months and had no idea how similar our origin stories were
I also totally relate on "not being good enough" in this way xxx *group hug*
I can't tell you how much I appreciate therapists like yourself talking about their own struggles and sharing that they're only human too, basically. So many seem to think they have to be somehow "above" human emotions and problems to have people trust them to help them but, for me at least, knowing a therapist has also struggled makes me trust them and their ability to help me so much more.
I got diagnosed (though I've probably had it for many years) with chronic fatigue a couple of years ago (both because of my toxic workplace and my destructive relationship). After being in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, my whole being had been demolished. Everything that made me who I am was either mocked or constantly criticized. These few last years I've been through the worst identity crisis I could ever imagine. I wasn't suicidal, but I just didn't want to live anymore. For those of you who know, you know that weird and heavy "in between" feeling? Not wanting to die, but not wanting to live either. I felt like I had nowhere to go and no one who felt safe, not even family or friends, because they didn't understand my feelings. I felt so alone.
I've been in therapy for the last 3 years, and it has really helped me. We've done the tapping and box breathing, and many other exercises in my CBT, and I'm so grateful for my therapist. During rough periods in my life I find myself kinda longing to talk to her, and not being able to wait 'til my appointment.
I still have a hard time managing stress and catching myself when I'm in the middle of it. Even breathing exercises become something I try to do "perfectly", so I kinda destroy the purpose of it.
The whole catch-22 of chronic fatigue is that you become sick because of stress, and then you stress to heal from it. I'm slowly getting my identity back/creating it, but I still feel hopeless sometimes. It's like stressful behavior is in my genes, and that I somehow just have to accept that...
I can't tell you how exactly I relate to that.. I hope the very best of luck and happiness for you
Thank you ❤️❤️ And I hope the same for you, if you're still struggling ❤️
I am right there with you.
Wow. I really, deeply, empathize and send mental hugs and best wishes to you. It warms my heart to hear that you got yourself out of an abusive relationship and have begun healing. It sounds like we're going through somewhat similar things so I'll share some of my story and thoughts in the hopes that maybe it will be helpful in some way, even if it's just the knowledge that you are not alone. :)
2.5 yrs ago I had a physical burn-out after 4 yrs at a good but stressful job that had me forcing myself into high-adrenaline mode for 8-10 hours every workday to keep up. Before that I was in a 7 year emotionally abusive relationship with a sociopathic narcissist; the first year was like a dream and it turned into more of a hostage-by verbal-threats situation for the last few years before I managed to get out safely.
I'm through the worst of the chronic fatigue from the burnout but still tire very quickly physically and mentally. It's hard to follow-through on the changes I want in my life and the evolution I'd like for myself when I don't feel like I have much available in my daily "energy bank" to do so.
I think/feel the same thing you do, though I phrase it just slightly differently: It's been a long couple years of not wanting to die but not knowing how to live!
I've seen therapists since childhood, but the last couple years has given me the time to work more deeply with therapists on my complex PTSD from family stuff growing up and that abusive relationship. I'm getting a better sense of the authentic self I want to embody but it's also daunting; I need more practice with self-regulating my emotions in healthy ways, but feel on the edge of giving up. I don't want myself to, but feel like I'm drowning in the 30+ years of emotional trauma I've experienced in different forms.
Someone just recently recommended a ketamine clinic that specializes in treating PTSD as an additional approach to what I'm already doing. I'm hesitant about altered mind states so did a lot of reading about it. It's NOT a hallucinogenic, which was a big concern of mine.
Research is showing favorable results for those who continue to struggle with PTSD despite multiple usual approaches. Best long-term results in research are for successive ketamine sessions COMBINED with psychotherapy.
A basic overview from things I've read:
"A circuit in the brain involved with resilience and resistance to stress can be activated by ketamine."
"There is mounting evidence for a role of the excitatory neurotransmitter glutamate in stress responsiveness, the formation of traumatic memories, and the pathophysiology of PTSD"
[The next quote in layman's terms says ketamine reduces the transmission of glutamate in the bain]
"Ketamine is an ionotropic glutamatergic N-methyl-d-aspartate (NMDA) receptor antagonist. Its antidepressant and anti-anxiety effects are presumed to occur through activating synaptic plasticity by increasing brain-derived neutrophic factor translation and secretion and also by inhibiting glycogen synthase kinase-3 and activating mammalian target of rapamycin signaling."
"Ketamine may target the mechanisms involved in the consolidation of traumatic memory and may enable the brain to reconsolidate memory and release trauma.
I haven't tried it yet, but I am hopeful. I'm also hoping it will help my neurological system heal from the chronic fatigue because it's currently hypersensitive (or on "high alert"), especially to noises and fast-moving visuals, which is draining and restricts what I'm able to do (that I had no problem with before my burnout). I couldn't find any research trials focused on this specifically, but if the treatment helps with anxiety then maybe my nervous system will be given a better chance to learn to relax back to a more regular baseline again over time. 🤞I'm going to call to schedule an appointment today to start.
The mantra that came to me today is "I am living *towards* my vision (of self) and creating a life I want". The key thing I want to keep in mind in that though I am not where I want to be yet, and often don't know exactly where/what that is, or how I'll get there, I have to be alive if I hope to achieve it at all! And on the worst days, just being alive and getting through is still me working towards my goals. 🫂
"Choosing the person that is gonna bring you joy and peace; that's how you get there" (to knowing who you are) Wow 👌
i still seem to struggle with letting go of my past trauma in toxic friendships. i thought i was over it but.. a few months ago every dream of mine concludes those people. i want to let go of the past but it visits me every night. i dont know what to do honestly... i just cant get over it
Similar thing is happening with me, I have came to home after college, still looking for job. But even after so much of time away from here, I got all those memories back as soon as I was here.
I totally understand. I also was in a horrible friendship with manipulative people and selfish people. Grief takes time, so please be patient with yourself. If you need an outlet to let go of that pain and trauma, I highly recommend journaling, therapy, meditation, etc. I chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, kinda like a Buddhist meditation, and that helps me a lot to organize my thoughts and dig deep into my own issues.
@@nadiab3557 honestly its been over 10/15 (?) years. i was a teenager and "broke" the friendship up in my early twenties.. the problem is that, i still see them once in a while so my wound can't completely heal. i try to journal, mediate but i seem to be trapped. maybe i try your buddhist mediation idea.. thanks for your input 🫶
@@HeartAnimeManga I’m sorry you’re going through it for a while 😢😢 I’m sure it’s difficult for you to heal while you still see them. Honestly, I still struggle when I see them even if it’s just on social media. I think it’s great that you recognize it! And yes, I think it’s a good idea to try the Buddhism! It’s called SGI-USA, if you’re not familiar with it, and it’s a philosophical practice :)
I love this video so much. About a year ago I had two major beliefs of mine that were completely shattered by some events in a really short period of time. I have still not recovered from that, and hearing from this I believe that right now I really lack peace within my spirituality, my values. I am not a religious person so finding 'something bigger' is pretty difficult. I'm curious on what the future holds, but right now I feel exhausted of living in chaos. It's a process. I would appreciate if anyone would like to share their 'something bigger'. I might get some inspiration.
I've always thought of peace as something to strive for, that you sometimes catch up to, sometimes you don't, but it is always reachable if you put your mind to it.
My goal has always been to reach a place where I'm no longer concerned with who I am, what I want, or why I'm here, and just content to simply Be. To exist in the moment, at peace.
I am a member of the same faith, and I have to say that your unique perspective has helped me find a good measure of peace, and given me tools and hope for even more. You and your wife are truly gifted at articulating abstract concepts and navigating controversial subjects with compassion and empathy.
This is the best video that I had watched from you. Thanks so much, I needed to hear this. I had to pause the video several times to digest what you were saying.
About peace in the body: sometimes Meditation and breathing exercises are not the best first answer. Whenever adrenaline has already been released or I am just going through a lot of emotions, it helps me to move. Before calming stuff works I need to get it out of my system a bit. Sometimes it might just be a few jumping jacks or push ups, or maybe it's a yoga session or taking a walk. Only afterwards do I go to meditation and such things.. I used to not do that, and I would be so on fire on the inside, the trying to be calm made it even worse. Especially with Adrenaline that is supposed to get your body ready for movement..
I agree; I used to get panic attacks whenever I tried to meditate. It wasn't until I managed to (partly) work through some of my trauma that I started being able to do it more. I found that things that have the concept of 道 (tao/dou) in them helped me [ e.g. tai chi, Japanese martial arts, Japanese calligraphy [way of writing], Japanese tea ceremony (way of tea)] as there you do something with a meditative approach, which can calm your mind by focusing on something other than just your mind
I was laughing so hard when you talked about the uncomfortable dissonance when you go against your morality and ethics. That feeling wrecks havoc on me so hard, I've given mostly given up on trying to be anything but myself and go with my moral set for myself. It just doesn't work otherwise. And I revise that stuff frequently. Feeding in more perspectives on regular basis.
This spoke to me on a deep level. All those feelings you laid out are feelings I have struggled and struggled with. And struggled so hard. Still struggle with. Thank you so much. I really needed this today.
Appreciate your vulnerability in the video♥️
My therapist taught me EFT tapping for my anxiety. It doesn't calm me 100%, but it does walk me back from the ledge. I do recommend it in conjunction with other interventions
Sorry it's a bit rambly. It's late. 😅 I've been trying cognitive behavioral therapy. I'm an overthinker. And I have cyclical thoughts. So I've been trying to stop my negative thoughts. Breathing and if something happens where I get stressed out and yell. I think about it. I apologize. And think ok, what should I do next time??? I've also been eating good food, tasty food and putting myself out there at work more. Like hey I can do this. What do you need??? Being proactive in problem solving. Looking at myself every night while brushing my teeth. Like damn I look good. 😉 Also money helps. Gotta get them bills paid. It has done wonders for my mental health. It all started with a complaint that I wasn't doing things I was trained for. And someone being like Hey you're trained for this. Let's find out why you aren't allowed to do this. And then giving me a chance to prove myself. Telling me, hey we need you to do this, this and this. If you can't do this. Then we'll put you where we need you. Because we have a business to run. Then it was up to me. Now I'm trying to be that person. For someone else.
I'm so grateful that my guide brought your videos to me. I love Cinema Therapy, and this video made a lot of what he's been telling me click. You're helping me grow and heal immensely, and I appreciate and cherish what you do. Thank you. Miracles, abundance, and blessings to you and your loved ones 🐈❤️🌹
Cinema Therapy (and also Mended Light) has become my therapy outside of my therapy! ❤️❤️
Thank you for this video. I have a feeling the who you are not part will help a lot of people.
Thank you so much. I love your channel and the other one about analyzing movies. I love you and your wife. You are such a beautiful couple. Very assertive and compassionate. Thank you for making all these videos. They mean a lot to me and help me in many ways.
This is a very important video. Just what I needed. Thank you.
THANK YOU for this video! For all of them, but especially for this one. It's condensed wisdom. A jewel.
thank you so much! definitely using "the square" method. :)
Ended right now a relationship that started fading away after 1 month. Like all my last trials. While I start gaining feelings for someone as time passes, and open myself more and more, it seems like once they get to know me and my love, they lose interest, as you said. I wish I could believe that this isn't my fault but it's so hard.
That's a really interesting connection with meditation and tv. *Sitting here with tense shoulders*... Choosing to breathe and letting my shoulders down. Thank you
Hey can you do a video on BRAIN FOG
Seconded, can we do this?
This was really, really helpful. Thank you.
Wow you have no idea how much I needed this.
This helps so much.
I have a question I would like to ask a therapist 😊
The process of recovery is very hard and challenging, but what I completely underestimated was how difficult it is to find back to yourself, after you've overcome all sorts of mental illnesses.
I don't know who I am without my depression and my anxiety and my self hatred, because all of those things where what defined me for the last years and they made up my whole reality for so long.
I remember who I was before, but I can't connect to that person from the past anymore and I realize that I've changed.
I used to be an extrovert who loved to be around as many people as possible.
Now I feel like I lost my social skills and I might've turned into an introvert. Or is this still left overs of my depression and isolation? I don't know... I don't know who I am without my depression and sometimes I just want to go back to normal, back to misery, because that's what I know and that's easy.
I would really love to hear your thoughts on that.
I needed this. Thank you!
Could you do a video of Cassie in Euphoria,the whole Cassie obsession with Nate and the dynamic of Cassie and Mandy.
With all due respect, anyone who has ever left Jono had issues.
Love it! Video idea for you: reacting to Andrew Tate.
❤️
I am very sorry, but after you said "inner peace", i was not able to not see you as master Oogway for the rest of the video.
therapize joe from you