Therapist Reacts to TURNING RED

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  • Опубликовано: 26 май 2022
  • How can you pave your own path and honor the traditions of your family? How can you heal damaged relationships in your family?
    Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are joined by filmmaker (and Cinema Therapy associate producer/editor) Sophie Telléz to take a look at the mother-daughter relationships in Pixar's Turning Red. They talk about the struggles of growing up and finding your path, the importance of friendship and relationships, the power of stories for modeling behaviors and helping us heal, and accepting all parts of ourselves (even the parts we think are "messy"). And of course the amazing animation, boy band music, and ability of Pixar to make us cry.
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    Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
    Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, and Sophie Telléz
    Edited by: Trevor Horton, tzhediting.com
    Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
    English Transcription by: Anna Preis
    Spanish Transcription by: Juan Willems
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Комментарии • 3,2 тыс.

  • @hwatinyy
    @hwatinyy Год назад +14205

    The part of the movie that hits me hardest is when Mei’s mom says “you’re so hard on yourself and if I taught you that, I’m sorry” because I want to hear that so badly but I know I never will

    • @traci4327
      @traci4327 Год назад +484

      I never heard that from my mom because I didn't realize how much I hated myself until after she passed away. However I know she felt that way and she would truly be sorrowful when she realized that how she treated her self caused me to do the same thing. I know she never wanted me to feel that way.

    • @InThisEssayIWill...
      @InThisEssayIWill... Год назад +285

      It's tragic if your parent will never be healthy enough to acknowledge this to you. BUT you have heard it, from Mei's mom, you know what it should look like, you know what kind of care you deserve. That is your power.
      So many of us are now having to navigate the world with an awareness of the trauma we carry, and it's heavy. But I take comfort in the fact that my child will do better, be better, because of my hard work on myself. I will likely be in therapy for the rest of my life but my child will know that parents apologize when they were wrong, parents take a break to cool off when they're really upset over something you did. My child will know this and someday, if they become a parent their child will too.
      You deserve that apology from your parents but the truth is very few people get one. Life is full of situations where we have to make our own closure.
      For what it's worth, I'm proud of you. 💚

    • @michaelj.mccall6530
      @michaelj.mccall6530 Год назад +29

      In my case, it’s what separates it as fantasy so I don’t lose my grip on reality.

    • @ShipperTrash
      @ShipperTrash Год назад +42

      I hears something similar from my mom, but somehow it doesn't really do much for me, I don't feel anything, cuz like... damage is done, I don't really care anymore, and millions of other factors. I was not happy with the fact I didn't get any satisfaction from her apology... maybe I just didn't truly believed her...

    • @queenofgoldenhearts
      @queenofgoldenhearts Год назад +8

      same!!!!

  • @user-mq9uz2fn7v
    @user-mq9uz2fn7v Год назад +11553

    I love how they didn't make Mei the typical rebel girl. Instead she absolutly loves her mom and wants to make her proud wich is more relatable and shows how dificult is for us girls to do anything that they don't expect from us.

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 Год назад +237

      I wanted Mirabel to have a friend group like Mei's

    • @plague8163
      @plague8163 Год назад +540

      I was really happy about that too, like too often these stories of generational rebellion are like "she's a rebellious teen who doesn't play by the rules" when more often it's "she's a doting product of generational trauma doing her best to fit in at home and socially outside of home."

    • @smm855
      @smm855 Год назад +325

      I really enjoyed that too. So often in movies they make the daughter immediately rebellious and angry that her mom doesn't get her. It was nice to see someone that loves their mom, but is still growing away from them and trying to figure out how to be themselves, but not be completely at odds with her mother. lol Of course, my own mom was disgruntled that I didn't do the rebellious phase. She was prepared for it and when I became a teenager I just couldn't be bothered with the whole 'rebel' thing...too much work. I'd rather sit around and read 🤣 She kept trying to fix me up with boys and make me go to parties! lol I guess I 'rebelled' in the wrong way 🤨

    • @Luubelaar
      @Luubelaar Год назад +182

      They made her entirely normal, and thus deeply relateable. She's just doing the normal teen thing (growing and changing from child to adult) and that can be hard for a lot of parents. But it's hard for the teen too.

    • @kuroinokitsune
      @kuroinokitsune Год назад +12

      @@smm855 still rebelled in my book lol

  • @princessjohnson-higgins5900
    @princessjohnson-higgins5900 Год назад +6469

    i am 24 years old, and my mom watched this movie and called me the next day to apologize for how she was when I was growing up. This movie really changed my life.

  • @AIRogge
    @AIRogge Год назад +5127

    I've seen so many men characterize this as a "girl's film" and being all about menstruation and claiming that they can't connect to it because nothing in there applies to them. And that utterly FLOORS me. Yeah, they mention menstruation, but puberty hits just as hard no matter WHAT hormones are rampaging through you. Suddenly, your system is flooded with all kinds of chemicals playing merry hell with your emotional regulation and your brain is neither fully formed nor experienced enough to deal with it all.
    We ALL have pandas - girl, boy, neither, or both - and we all have to learn how to live with them.
    Teach more folks to empathize and see the value in stories of people who don't look like them or aren't shaped like them and we'll have a much healthier society.

    • @phoebejay5731
      @phoebejay5731 Год назад +82

      +++

    • @sarahouillette1357
      @sarahouillette1357 Год назад +241

      Say it louder for the people in the back!

    • @MK_ULTRA420
      @MK_ULTRA420 Год назад +8

      You can't teach someone to be entertained. That's called mind control.

    • @datpotat3945
      @datpotat3945 Год назад +431

      @@MK_ULTRA420 the point made is not about entertainment tho? That's a ridiculous reach. It's about men and boys refusing to relate to anything that looks remotely 'girly'.

    • @MK_ULTRA420
      @MK_ULTRA420 Год назад +5

      ​@@datpotat3945 No, keep your lectures out of my entertainment.

  • @sydposting
    @sydposting Год назад +3909

    You know what one of my favorite things about Turning Red was? It showed that loving your parents *AND* conflicting with them aren't mutually exclusive! Mei's respect and love for her parents doesn't feel like something's that's forced, but something that was earned over the years by her parents always being there for her when she needed them -- so it's that much harder for Mei when her mom starts to go into overdrive over the "curse."

    • @KimberlyByrdV
      @KimberlyByrdV Год назад +21

      Yes!

    • @smm855
      @smm855 Год назад +122

      Yes! Finally someone that can disagree with their parents without the parent dying or it completely severing their connection.

    • @msk-qp6fn
      @msk-qp6fn Год назад +68

      Exactly!!! So many time they make it seem like having a good relationship with your mom means there is no fighting or you're a goody two shoes (which we can be) but we definitely have our share of conflicts and fights and it can get messu 😂😅

    • @AramatiPaz
      @AramatiPaz Год назад +22

      This movie is so smart and realist.
      And still we have to read people saying "today's animations are just dumb" referring to Turning Red.

    • @shawnboahene5231
      @shawnboahene5231 Год назад +2

      They had to earn her love and respect? The people that birthed, fed, housed, clothed you isn’t enough

  • @thehopeofeden597
    @thehopeofeden597 Год назад +20656

    Coco, Encanto and Turning Red really said:
    “The real enemy was the generation trauma we made along the way.”

    • @NachoConsumer
      @NachoConsumer Год назад +650

      True, though Coco did have Ernesto de la Cruz

    • @msaijay1153
      @msaijay1153 Год назад +753

      @@NachoConsumer encanto had the soldiers that killed abuelo. Turning red had wartime that caused great great great grandma to ask to be a panda.

    • @Fivreld
      @Fivreld Год назад +503

      @@NachoConsumer coco had a father that "left his family", and forced a young mother to fend for herself and her daughter. i'm not gonna assume i know much history, but from what i can assume, imelda would've gone through so much as a young, single mother in those times. her trauma surrounding music spread to the rest of the family, not to mention poor coco who was about 4 years old when hector left. she was forced to forget her dad. and as an old, demented woman, she became that little girl again: all she wanted was her papá to come home.

    • @NachoConsumer
      @NachoConsumer Год назад +205

      @@Fivreld I'm not arguing against there being generational trauma, there was. The family hatred music because of it. I'm just saying that unlike the other movies listed, COCO also had a traditional Disney villain, which was used as a steppingstone to move towards the true villain of the future films being the trauma.

    • @ar.ninetysix
      @ar.ninetysix Год назад +100

      Everything Everywhere All at Once delves into this too, just in a more chaotic way lmao strongly recommend it for anyone tryna cry their eyes out from generational trauma in movies

  • @Lyssa16
    @Lyssa16 Год назад +1027

    my favourite part of the dad is how fondly he remembers mings panda because it’s not about how dangerous she is it’s about how hard she fought for him showing how much she loves him and that’s all he truly remembers about that time

  • @jasmined500
    @jasmined500 Год назад +3824

    I’m an FX Artist at Pixar and while I was working on the film, in my head I was like “I can’t WAIT to see the CinemaTherapy episode on this”. Great episode as always! Can’t wait to hear y’all’s thoughts on Lightyear 😄

    • @jessica8646
      @jessica8646 Год назад +145

      Wow your life looks so cool ! You're lucky 😊 Your (including your colleagues) film was sooooo good btw, Turning Red was the best, very visually pleasing !

    • @semin777
      @semin777 Год назад +66

      I love this movie so much! Thank you from Germany! 💕

    • @junichijam5364
      @junichijam5364 Год назад +94

      Thanks for all that you do. As an Asian person with generations of family trauma, this film helped me close a chapter of my life

    • @g.d.graham2446
      @g.d.graham2446 Год назад +12

      Cool

    • @anandasama15
      @anandasama15 Год назад +21

      Girl. Congradulations. This film is so good

  • @oli4703
    @oli4703 Год назад +9418

    I feel like Mei’s dad is so underrated. He was so quietly supportive of Mei and Ming, while also knowing it was their decision to make whether or not they wanted to keep their pandas. And yeah, Ming chose to get rid of it because she saw it as destructive, but he was never scared of that part of her because he saw it as just that. A part of her.
    That moment where he talks about her almost destroying the temple, but he still thinks that part of her is incredible is really sweet and shows how much he loves Mei and her mom, no matter what.

    • @smartaleks314
      @smartaleks314 Год назад +189

      Yes! He is so supportive, it's great

    • @queenofgoldenhearts
      @queenofgoldenhearts Год назад +134

      he is my favorite character

    • @animeotaku307
      @animeotaku307 Год назад +295

      My favorite moment from him is when, while the grandma and aunties are chastising Ming after Mei ran away, he's the only one comforting her.

    • @Tam_Miri
      @Tam_Miri Год назад +29

      @@animeotaku307 That part is so sweet!

    • @domenceuspriest
      @domenceuspriest Год назад +131

      Yes! Dad is the emotional MVP in this movie imo - he doesn't mind being the quiet support in the family of bold gals (and that cooking, omg!). And it's so good to see an Asian father modeling this too!

  • @ohkaygoplay
    @ohkaygoplay Год назад +3219

    "The farther you go, the prouder I'll be." is such a powerful line of dialogue. That's what made me tear up.

    • @aimies
      @aimies Год назад +13

      Me too! That’s such a beautiful sentence🥺😭

    • @DeanneM1726
      @DeanneM1726 Год назад +7

      It almost sounds like she is condoning rebellion. The further you go the other way, do what you want despite my warnings and the consequences of your actions, the prouder I'll be.

    • @DeanneM1726
      @DeanneM1726 Год назад

      So sorry for hitching onto your comment to make my point. I wanted to make it faster so I can get my sleep.

    • @l00sechange
      @l00sechange Год назад +63

      @@DeanneM1726 I think she meant “further” as in “the more you grow.” In the sense of growing as a person, a woman, and later in life, her career or family. Of course Ming doesn’t want her daughter to grow away from her but eventually Mei has to. She can’t grow underneath her mother.

    • @gracieewart9282
      @gracieewart9282 Год назад +8

      Both my mom and I cried at that part bc we realized the bump in our own relationship. She and my dad have pressured me to be perfect, especially in front of them, and she finally recognized that. It was an amazing moment.

  • @sophieamandaleitontoomey9343
    @sophieamandaleitontoomey9343 Год назад +993

    How can anyone say Jin doesn’t add anything to the story when this beautiful and meaningful conversation between him and Mei exists? He’s the only one in the family who truly sees his daughter before anyone else. He’s the only one who sees how happy she is with the Panda. And he’s the only one who allows her to actually say what she feels in this scene while giving to her one of the most beautiful speeches I’ve ever seen in a Pixar film. This film is not anti-men as some idiots will say. Especially when the father is at many points the best character without having to say much.
    Not every character needs to be loud or outspoken to have an impact on the story. Jin is a character with quality over quantity. When the film does allow him to speak, it’s the wisest and most profound thing out of any other character.

    • @erikaswanson2170
      @erikaswanson2170 Год назад +31

      because they didn't watch the movie.

    • @miss.lakill
      @miss.lakill Год назад +37

      I honestly thought he was going to be a useless character until the moment he has his one on one with Mei. Which kept happening. I'd see something happen on screen that seemed frivolous or silly. And then it'd come completely full circle in some wonderful, unexpected way.
      Its a huge strength of the movie. These relationship dynamics and plot elements can be very subtle the way they've set them up. But there was never a moment where something was resolved in a way that was disappointing.
      Hell. I even forgave the fact I find it hard to believe a mom would EVER apologize to their kid for behaving that way.
      But, I could see how someone who is used to very clear 'this character argues with the mom to show he cares for his daughter' type scenes might overlook the more subtle 'quiet but proud' non-enabler route they went with.
      Personally, love this movie. An ungodly amount.
      😅I saw it like four times in a row because I forced everyone I know to watch it with me.

    • @Roguechan
      @Roguechan Год назад +33

      @@miss.lakill I think because the dad's part is so subdued and soft, compared to the rest of the movie, it gets a little bit drowned out. But there's a lot to unpack in the quiet moment he gets with Mei Mei, and a lot of wisdom transfered. It's just that the loud moments are plenty in this movie, so it feels like he's underrepresented.
      But, just like you say, he shines when he finally gets the chance to say his piece.
      And we learn to appreciate his relationship with the mom more, too, because we know she literally FOUGHT to be with him, and because he admires her and is in awe of her. It's so much layers in there, but it requires you to be allowed to process all of it.

    • @kiralonely1307
      @kiralonely1307 Год назад +21

      @@miss.lakill I think part of the thing with Jin that I love and that really works with him is how he balances out Ming. She is very much a leader of the relationship, she directs and he follows, he's a listener, and that's exactly what Mei needed. She needed someone to, as her mother said, "see" her. To just listen instead of hearing what they want. To listen instead of talking over her. And that's what her father was there to do, and did as needed. He watched and only stepped in when he thought it was needed.
      It's important for people to figure stuff out on their own too. I think that's something I really appreciate about him.
      He was definitely one of my favorite characters in the movie, from the first few times you see him. He does show he listens even back when Mei is giving presentations of why she wants to go to the concert. He was reading the pamphlet, he was actually taking in everything Mei was desperately trying to show and express, even when Ming wasn't listening and was making judgements before Mei had a chance to show it all.
      He's a good balance between letting things figure themselves out, and stepping in to say what he thinks and give advice when needed, when Mei felt the most lost and conflicted. He didn't tell her how to live or what to think or how to feel, he just said that her being herself made him laugh, but he let her choose who she wanted to be, and what path to take.
      As someone who has had screaming fights with my mom and my dad separately for varying reasons, he was the kind of person I was always hoping my parents would be. I just wanted to be heard. Even if they said no, I wanted to know they actually listened, that they understood how I felt. I wanted to know why I was in trouble, why this was bad, I wanted to understand them, at ALL. I just wanted to feel like I wasn't being told how to live, but being allowed to make my own choices in my life. To suffer my own consequences, to hurt but be able to recognize that it was my own decision and grow from it.
      Vented a little there. Point is, I really fell in love with his character from the beginning because he is exactly the kind of parent I would want to be, if I ever became one. He's exactly who I wish I had in my life, and who I often would find in the place of friends and others I could care about. (Hell, my cat played the role of Jin for a while in some of my darkest times. Just feeling like he did listen to me, even if he didn't understand. I was...desperate.)
      He's just a really good character, and one I so rarely see portrayed in media.

    • @zenkim6709
      @zenkim6709 Год назад +13

      Sadly, the negative qualities of prejudice, narrowmindedness, & chauvinism appear to B core components of the very thing that motivates the haters to dump on this movie -- that thing being toxic masculinity....
      "What, girl-positive movie? Girl-positivity is *feminist*! Feminism *bad*!! Movie BAD!!! Must tell everyone MOVIE BAD!!!"

  • @ambiambear
    @ambiambear Год назад +1669

    I like that Alan cries on camera. Today at college I was so stressed and openly expressing it a little actually helped my teacher connect with me. We briefly talked after class about everything going on with my load of classes and my part time job as well. For some reason letting my tears free helps me think clearer, like a clean spring flowing down my face I guess.

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +263

      Crying can really help!

    • @tiffanypersaud3518
      @tiffanypersaud3518 Год назад +51

      Thanks for sharing. I’m glad your teacher was a safe space.

    • @Roguechan
      @Roguechan Год назад +40

      I just wanted to say that's beautifully put, "like a clean spring flowing down your face".
      Crying really can help you process pent up emotions. It's so soothing and liberating to just CRY and get things out of you.
      I'm glad it helped you connect more, and that you're embracing it.

    • @JaneMagdalena
      @JaneMagdalena 6 месяцев назад +6

      Crying actually physically helps your organism to cool down and releases oxytocin which makes us calm down. Crying is amazing!

    • @poogissploogis
      @poogissploogis 5 месяцев назад +6

      I've actually read that crying (from both positive and negative emotions) is how your body purges the excess "emotion chemicals" for lack of a better term. When you have too much sadness, stress, etc., your body has to let it out. That's why you feel so good after crying! Our bodies are amazing.

  • @wesleycolvin7158
    @wesleycolvin7158 Год назад +3790

    There some complaints that the dad doesn't really add anything noteworthy to the story, but Meilin's talk with her dad about her mom's panda feels like one of the most important scenes in the film.

    • @elfteiroh
      @elfteiroh Год назад +561

      These people are crazy. The dad is like my favorite character of the movie. He doesn’t speak much, but he made every words count. He told her exactly what she needed to hear. And really? He’s just precious.

    • @iantaakalla8180
      @iantaakalla8180 Год назад +332

      In a lore sense, he is the reason for this movie. While it is true that repressing the panda was a thing and would be a thing in general without Ming’s history, Ming really loved him as well enough to panda (which as a side effect made the need to repress the panda more necessary).
      And even better, he is not the McGuffin. He is quiet because he loves his wife and is expressing that in a background way. Also, the story was about Mei and Ming, and his quiet constant love factors nicely into this story about self-acceptance metaphors.

    • @mori6434
      @mori6434 Год назад +201

      Jin is the best and anyone who says otherwise can fight me. I can't tell you how many times I rewatched the scene where he makes an excited little squeak when Mei suggests Ming stay home and spend some time with him, it's just so freaking cute and wholesome.

    • @M33PSTER
      @M33PSTER Год назад +117

      I think Jhin is such an important character because he validated Mei and informed her about her mother’s panda at Mei’s lowest point. I think that discussion gave her the strength she needed to keep her panda and go to the concert because she had the reassurance that her parents would still love her. She didn’t feel the need to suppress herself anymore.

    • @Arianddu
      @Arianddu Год назад +58

      Added to what all your other repliers said, that introductory cooking scene was perfect Dad Ambition! (and amazing animation).

  • @DaejaRulez
    @DaejaRulez Год назад +7144

    Fun little color theory detail: all the family members except Mei (aka those that reject the panda) wear green, which is the opposite of red on a color wheel. Mei on the other hand wears pink, which is just sort of a softened shade of red anyway. In a way, it represents how they deal with their "pandas".

    • @wendigostudios212
      @wendigostudios212 Год назад +572

      And i also like how Mei and Ming both do have a little of each other colour (Mei's green clip and Ming's red necklace), it shows they're still connected even with opposite colours

    • @ThatOneNerdGirly
      @ThatOneNerdGirly Год назад +46

      I noticed that too!

    • @Dragon1813
      @Dragon1813 Год назад +211

      @@chalenagibbs2439 Pria wears orange, Abby wears purple, both are made with red. Miriam wears green, which compliments red.

    • @dadeligtfuldazzlingderika33
      @dadeligtfuldazzlingderika33 Год назад +32

      Its actually just cosmo and wanda

    • @youtubelu622
      @youtubelu622 Год назад +55

      White can be innocence, so white and red is innocence and passion in Mei's pink clothing. She loses some of that innocence and purity through the movie, particularly disrespecting her mother and choosing to defend her friendships.

  • @poissonCHA1
    @poissonCHA1 Год назад +522

    Alan saying "im never gonna get that from my mom" talking about the portal scene, resonnated through my core. and he is right, seeing it there, in a movie, is beautiful. it repairs a thing or two.

  • @chocoboko123
    @chocoboko123 Год назад +1486

    My mom is Korean and she always wanted me to be a "good daughter". Good, in her mind, meant obedient above all else. She had a lot of toxic traditional ideals about morality and womanhood carried over from her upbringing, things I see repeated in other east Asian cultures (most notably extreme reverence of parents... despite if they actually deserve it or not). I knew from a really young age that she was full of abusive shit (not just cultural but personal as well), and my coping mechanism was anger. I pushed her so far away from me so I wouldn't fall under the trap she had the rest of my family in. I've never yelled and screamed and fought against someone like I did with my mom. I don't think I regret it. It's a huge part of why I was able to escape and heal. But through my own therapy I've been realizing something: that even though I don't want any love or redemption from MY mom, I still have to grieve the loss of not having love from a mom at all. So when I saw this movie I was just bawling at the end. I haven't cried so hard at a movie since I watched the Little Prince (which has a very similar mother/daughter plotline). Seeing the redemption and forgiveness and understanding in the family was both cathartic and extremely alienating and crushing to me, knowing that I will never, ever know how that feels. I loved this movie.

    • @ramonahirsch3267
      @ramonahirsch3267 Год назад +74

      Exactly the same how I felt about this movie, for the same reasons. Thank you for writing this, I struggled to understand my own feelings about Ming and Mei's relationship up until now. tbh, I initially felt like Ming's apology wasn't for real because I struggled so much to imagine that a mother who has been quite demanding for years would ever change her opinion. Definitely alienating. When I was a kid, I handled many conflicts using anger, too. At some point when living in abusive families, you need something to give you strength, not only for defending yourself in that moment, but to save your heart and mind from all this gaslighting and manipulation over the course of years. So, I have deep respect for you and everyone else who made it out of the toxic/abusive families just passing down the trauma from generation to generation. It's hard.
      And yes, one has to grieve the loss of never having had a loving mother. I'm still going through this and can relate. Though the process sparks hope that maybe one day, you can show this unconditional love to yourself.
      -- I wrote that with my partner's account --

    • @albinoorca
      @albinoorca Год назад +59

      I feel this. My own mom craves attention to the point of absurdity (even blames her older siblings for not being close to her even though there's a massive age gap). She had a great dad and an alright mom in an upper middleclass home, no abuse. So I can't fathom how she's turned narcissist to the point of having SIX kids and isolating them with homeschooling to try to force us into giving her the permanent attention she always wanted but can't get because she drives everyone else away. Spoiler, her kids grew up despite her tactics (I don't know what she expected? We'd turn 18 someday). No apologies for any of the isolation or emotional abuse she threw at us to try to keep us subservient.
      To make it worse my parents are anti-science and anti-medicine, so I've had to catch up on very basic things like vaccines.
      The way my parents talked about deaths and suffering during the height of covid (before the vaccines) disgusted me so much I went from low contact to zero. I don't miss my parents. I used to admire my dad, but as an adult I see him for what he is; an enabler and a doormat. He didn't stand up for me, but I'll stand up for myself now.

    • @Autumn-zd9nq
      @Autumn-zd9nq Год назад +23

      I’m so sorry this happened to you all. That was not supposed to happen and it’s not your fault. They are wrong.

    • @Snowsda
      @Snowsda Год назад +41

      "Good, in her mind, meant obedient above all else." and "But through my own therapy I've been realizing something: that even though I don't want any love or redemption from MY mom, I still have to grieve the loss of not having love from a mom at all." never knew I could relate so much to a statement. Therapy does wonders even when you think you're in a better place.
      I've cried a lot of times during disney/pixar movies (e.g. coco or raya) but turning red really made a record (though raya is a close one).
      And I'm honestly surprised how so many people get that their parents are toxic from a young age, my sister did too. I was just a blinded kid thinking my mother would be the best mother there is.

  • @Arianddu
    @Arianddu Год назад +3248

    I've watched quite a few "reacts to" videos about "Turning Red" and something no one has talked about is when the Mom talks about how the gift protected the family in China, but when they left China, it became "an inconvenience". That really hit me - I'm not Chinese, but my mother's family came to Australia as refugees, and they put huge pressure on themselves to fit in, to not stick out. Looking at the history of Chinese emigration to North America, there would have been huge pressure not to be seen as strong or powerful, but instead to be seen as non-threatening, as restrained and quiet. Sophie touched on it when she was talking about being raised to be the "perfect Hispanic girl". So many immigrant families, especially non-white, feel enormous pressure to conform to models that are seen as "safe", and part of that is not reacting to discrimination and not being emotional.

    • @Bleuryder
      @Bleuryder Год назад +178

      As a puertorrican who lived in the states, I noticed this too. Even though we are not that "foreign" (in their eyes) compared to Asian, European or something similar immigration wise, I have noticed how our "gift" (our culture) was inconvenient in the States.
      I've seen it more with my sister, who has kids that have grown in the states. They've become so divorced from their culture that they barely know where their family comes from. Their "gift", their heritage is inconvenient for them in a land where being different is oftentimes dangerous. I can understand why my sister would not teach them their culture, as she's been in situations where race has been an issue, but it's sad that it's become something to hide in order to fit in and be respected. What I took from the movie was that your heritage/culture isn't something to hide but instead you can accept as a part of you and grow with and from it.

    • @amiaswolfgang
      @amiaswolfgang Год назад +109

      My family has a similar story. My great-great grandparents were Jews and not only fled Nazi Germany but converted to Catholicism and hid their Jewish ancestry from their children for a long, long time. Because of their choices, most of that side of the family doesn't know that they're Jewish or bringing more Jews into the world, some are actively antisemitic or married people who were. I'm really the only one who has tried to reclaim my Jewishness (I've started learning about holidays and practicing them quietly out of fear of disapproval), much like how Mei is the only one who has reclaimed her heritage through keeping her panda form.

    • @tic857
      @tic857 Год назад +89

      My parents immigrated to the US. That line, is very true. It doesn't speak about just about puberty, but the inconveniences of balancing two cultures. What you love from your heritage becomes an inconvenience in a different society who may not understand. For example, FOOD, SCHOOL LUNCH, speak to any Asian kid who grew up in the 90s and they will have a story of how the whole table, class or entire lunchroom turned at them gave a look of disgust because of the food you brought, because it was seasoned, because it had a head, or was a recognizable body part of an animal, because it had different types of food that they had never seen. Participating in your own heritage and culture in a community that is ignorant or racist but the majority becomes the inconvenience, you cannot participate fully in either. Food, music, games, fashion, social roles, social expectations, the balancing game is so hard, for the first gen kids, because the next inconvenience is....You're not 100% the culture your parents are, and not 100% the culture you grew up in, and both sides will say you are them, or neither. So who are you? I can say I am Chinese American, my family will both say "you are not Chinese enough" then "You are Chinese, not American" Then society will say "You're not American, you're Chinese." And then also say "You're in America, BE American, stop being Chinese."
      So for Mei to accept the Panda, it also means she accepts her heritage, is proud of it, and makes it more visible to the community showing that yes its different, but can integrate into society and be accepted.

    • @surferdude4487
      @surferdude4487 Год назад +23

      I am a white man, born and raised in Toronto Canada. Speaking for myself, I enjoy learning about cultures from all over the world. I grew up celebrating that with Caravan around the end of June each year. I want to know about your traditions and culture, if there is anything I do that makes you uncomfortable, I want to know to stop it.
      Having said all that, If someone is being racist to you, it is out of ignorance. It is also their problem. As a very wise man once said, "Anyone that takes offense when offense is not intended is a fool." Then he went on to say, "Anyone that takes offense when offense IS intended is also a fool.". Words to live by.

    • @DianaAmericaRivero
      @DianaAmericaRivero Год назад +16

      Yep! As soon as I heard that line from Mei's mom, I immediately thought of assimilation.

  • @pennywisethedancingclown2702
    @pennywisethedancingclown2702 Год назад +1886

    I love that Mei's mom's side of the family all wear green, the opposite of red, to visually further themselves even more from the panda. This also contrasts them from Mei.

    • @deciradoxytp1771
      @deciradoxytp1771 Год назад +143

      On the other hand, Miriam also wears green, but to compliment her bf instead of contrasting.

    • @pennywisethedancingclown2702
      @pennywisethedancingclown2702 Год назад +13

      @@deciradoxytp1771 very true!

    • @Luni25
      @Luni25 Год назад +142

      If you notice, they wear a MAJORITY of Green with a little bit of red, but Mei is the opposite: Almost all reds and pinks, with a little green hairclip. It's showing their opposing personalities in terms of the Red Panda.
      As they said down below, Miriam also wears green but has a touch of red on her. I think this is a big color symbolism for why Ming doesn't like Miriam; Miriam represents the calming effect of Mei's friends more than the rest, and to Ming in a subtle way that is frightening. If Mei's friends can have that same calm pillar in her life, then what does Mei need her mom for any more?

    • @whataminow_1d
      @whataminow_1d Год назад +10

      Wow I love these metaphors 🙂

    • @aznmochibunny
      @aznmochibunny Год назад +24

      It's also interesting to note that both colors also have great importance in Chinese culture as both red and green are seen as lucky colors that have multiple meanings.

  • @emmawhite1158
    @emmawhite1158 Год назад +592

    When Mei says to her mom, “I’m scared it will take me away from you.” I completely lost it. That fear of damaging the dynamic you have with a parent because you’re growing up and making your own decisions is relatable.

    • @annagloria2332
      @annagloria2332 Год назад +8

      I absolutely agree. growing pains are physical and psychological, too.

  • @catherinecote9423
    @catherinecote9423 Год назад +607

    I was SO GRATEFUL for this movie to represent teenage girls in a good light. We are very often put down for our hobbies and passion as teenage girls, a result of societal misogyny that is even internalized sometimes...I loved seeing "myself" as a teenager around friends, with good relationships, with dorky hobbies that are depicted as IMPORTANT AND WORTHY! It healed a part of me! :)

    • @sophieh.4097
      @sophieh.4097 Год назад +12

      YES YES SO TRUE

    • @d34thl1ng
      @d34thl1ng 9 месяцев назад +21

      I got so mad about all the dudes who were calling it cringe in a bad way. Of COURSE it's cringe, they're teenagers! Just let people have fun without judging harshly for no reason.

  • @lilpsyche6971
    @lilpsyche6971 Год назад +2680

    I was in a mental hospital when I started "turning red" I didn't feel comfortable talking to the staff and I didn't even know how to explain what was happening to me. Luckily, another girl that knew about periods ended up talking about her current dilemma and, vicariously, I learned. Afterwards I taught another girl who was freaking out because she thought it was a dead baby. Imagine going through that as a child. It's best to teach your kids about their body!

    • @NaomiTCOOKIES
      @NaomiTCOOKIES Год назад +318

      Agreed! My mom refused to discuss menstruation with me even though she's a nurse. She thinks sex ed is inappropriate for children. Were it not for the one day my school taught about it, I would've freaked out once I got my period just because of ignorance

    • @avamarie660
      @avamarie660 Год назад +118

      @@seantaggart7382 it’s definitely not a dead baby

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 Год назад +45

      @@avamarie660 yeah its dead cells
      But hey i apologize at my failed joke attempt

    • @HazbinCovenWitch
      @HazbinCovenWitch Год назад +38

      My mom told me and my sister about it before we even had one. I just learned a little bit more about in highschool from a Health class pamphlet. 😐

    • @alyshaharper8730
      @alyshaharper8730 Год назад

      @@seantaggart7382 no, there is no baby. A person's uterus sheds it's lining when no child is conceived. It is not a baby. Menstrual period = no embryo.
      A dead embryo or fetus would be a miscarriage.

  • @trinaq
    @trinaq Год назад +2380

    One subtle moment occurs when Mei bluntly tells Miriam that Ming doesn't like her, and Miriam seems hurt by this. She never thought that Ming would actively dislike her, while not minding Abby and Priya. Fortunately, Ming seems to have come around in the end.

    • @gingergoddess8953
      @gingergoddess8953 Год назад +400

      Note that Miriam wears the same green color as Ming throughout the movie. Ming doesn't like Miriam because Miriam is the other "most important" girl/woman in her daughter's life.

    • @orandor6249
      @orandor6249 Год назад +239

      Honestly, when I watched the movie, the friendship bits were the ones who got me all teary eyed. They way they stood by her, even after she betrayed them when her mother accused them of influencing Mei to do all those things, was really something special.

    • @greensciencegeek
      @greensciencegeek Год назад +87

      @@gingergoddess8953 Oh my god! I took the green to mean suppressing the panda, but couldn't figure out why Miriam had green like the rest of the women in Mei Mei's family! Especially cause Mir was fine with the panda!

    • @wtimmins
      @wtimmins Год назад +162

      What's extra subtle is that Ming never said she didn't like Miriam, just that she though she was odd.
      Part of a lot of these problems is that when you have a demanding parent, you magnify everything the parent says out of a fearful need to get out ahead of whatever they might do.

    • @Rayne_Storms
      @Rayne_Storms Год назад +14

      Miriam is also cannonically Trans, so Ming probably isn't fully comfortable with that.

  • @perkidanman
    @perkidanman Год назад +562

    It really hit me when Mei’s mom was talking about her friends and specifically said that she was fine with her Asian friends but didn’t trust her white friend Miriam. It echoed how my mom had an “approved” list of friends based on how she valued them.

    • @geddyw
      @geddyw Год назад +134

      What was probably most ironic is realistically Miriam is the most well adjusted, while Priya and Abby have personalities or interests that a lot of parents would likely have problems with

    • @silashurd3597
      @silashurd3597 11 месяцев назад +25

      Literally no one ever brings that up. It kinda points Ming as a little bit of a racist. Or maybe I’m just thinking way into it

    • @avacadotoast5571
      @avacadotoast5571 Месяц назад

      I feel like it's less that Ming is racist and more that Miriam is a bit of a rebel and not a traditional girl.

  • @deborahrisko5498
    @deborahrisko5498 Год назад +546

    Every time Alan says, “Damn you, Pixar,” someone at Pixar gets their wings!

    • @SinHurr
      @SinHurr Год назад +52

      and hopefully a raise.

    • @annagloria2332
      @annagloria2332 Год назад +7

      I'm always happy, when he drops that running gag in the midst of this kind of group session cry. 😊

  • @sagethyme528
    @sagethyme528 Год назад +1457

    One part that I really love about this movie is when the grandma says to Ming: "you don't have to apologise, I'm your mother". It feels so powerful when you think that most of the time it's the other way round, as in: "I'm your mother, I don't need to apologise, you need to apologise to me". It's a shame really, that some parents (and adults in general) see apologising or admitting faults as such a negative thing, or as a childish thing. It shows such a good growth in the grandma.
    (The amount of times I have heard "that's what kids do" or "you can't make them apologise, that's what we do with kids", and the only thing I can think is that, of course we make kids apologise, they're kids, they don't always understand they're still learning, but you as an adult should already know. I personally think it's more embarrassing for adults when kids show that they're are more mature than them, then if they -the adult- just apologised in the first place)

    • @Ehh0.0
      @Ehh0.0 Год назад +32

      Yeah, the teacher is only wise if they are prepared to learn from the student.

    • @dianaselnekovicova948
      @dianaselnekovicova948 Год назад +3

      I think everyone does mistakes even when you’re trying be best parent in the world still you make mistakes and most important thing to do is to apologize or just say yea I was not right. Because if you don’t the children will realize with time that you make mistakes and know about it you will lost major respect from them

    • @1do2likeU
      @1do2likeU Год назад

      That was the absolut worst part for me! Of course you have to apologize to your mother when you disbehave! Just because she loves you and forgives you does not mean she doesn't wanna hear that from you! Many mothers gets to put up with a lot of s@#th from their kids, and it's often very unfair! Of course the kids should be sorry and ask for forgivness! You mother isn't a trashcan you can throw waste at or a toilette to collect all the turds coming out of your mouth...
      But yes, the mother should lead with good example and also admit when she is wrong and ask for forgivness then she has hurt the daugther.

    • @googoogaga7986
      @googoogaga7986 Год назад +2

      Yeah exactly! My dad has been such a bully and emotional abuser to me from when I was ten years old an onwards, I used to think he was strong and my hero, but as I grew, he only harmed me more :(

  • @Louise_Moura
    @Louise_Moura Год назад +2453

    Once again Pixar sets unrealistic standards for children, introducing parents who actually apologize to their kids ✊😔

    • @trinaq
      @trinaq Год назад +324

      Precisely, it's sadly a dream that many of us never experience, because they may honestly think that they haven't done anything wrong, but it's nice to see on screen.

    • @Bookwright
      @Bookwright Год назад +252

      Or maby they are trying to teach us to be better perents ourself?

    • @msaijay1153
      @msaijay1153 Год назад +303

      Pixar is encouraging us (parents) to stop the cycle. Turning Red is my 3 year olds favorite movie. I intend to prove to her the it isn't unrealistic

    • @AWSVids
      @AWSVids Год назад +42

      They're just working to offset all the bad will towards parents that's emanating from Marvel.

    • @deciradoxytp1771
      @deciradoxytp1771 Год назад +3

      here before this blows up even more

  • @thane9
    @thane9 Год назад +266

    19:45 When Ming's answer to who she hurt is "my mom". There's something so powerful to that first time you see your parent refer to their mom or their dad, instead of grandma or grandpa. It makes them so incredibly human and makes this scene so beautiful. Ming's grief in this moment is what got to me most in this movie. The child inside us is too often the child we don't take care of very well.

    • @acelovesdiyschristopher7023
      @acelovesdiyschristopher7023 Год назад +2

      Can't relate. For me it was "I thought I wouldn't turn out like my mom and I was wrong and u think ur not gonna turn out like me but ur wrong ur worse than me." She also has the enjoyable habit of telling people what they feel, say, or think etc hence that.

  • @SupremeLeaderKimJong-un
    @SupremeLeaderKimJong-un Год назад +104

    I think the Panda gets more massive the more you bottle up your emotions and reject yourself. Like, from the Grandma to Mei, it looks like a standard size compared to the first woman of the family, and we know that she was Using her emotions to Call the Panda and protect her family. When they all called their Pandas by breaking the amulets containing them, it was for the exact same purpose. Which goes to show that Ming's Panda is gigantic because the only time she stood up to her mother, was for her love, it was a Huge emotion involved, with a lot of bottling up behind it, and after that she thought "never again", so more bottling up, keeping that Panda a real giant.
    On the other side of the spectrum, Mei is doing her own things, she starts lying and rebelling, she expresses herself, and she released her Panda on purpose a lot of times, so it's just a standard size in the family.

  • @seekittycat
    @seekittycat Год назад +368

    The scene with Mei slapping herself in her room for "daring to hurt her mom" is the most relatable thing I've ever seen. She puts her mom above her own feelings so much she'll physically beat herself up over even having thoughts.

  • @trinaq
    @trinaq Год назад +1993

    I really loved how loyal Miriam, Abby and Priya were after learning Mei's secret. They stuck by her the entire time, and reassure her that they still love her, no matter what. They even invite Tyler to join their group, no judgement required. They really are the best fictional Besties!

    • @gingergoddess8953
      @gingergoddess8953 Год назад +111

      One of the best parts of the movie is how naturally they let the characters interact. No tropes necessary. No long sad montages showing how betrayed the friends feel after Mei throws them under the bus. No 'the bully secretly likes the main character" nonsense. Just 13yos being 13yos.

    • @PeachWookiee
      @PeachWookiee Год назад +49

      @GingerGoddess89: That’s what I adored about this movie. It was a 13-year-old girl, dealing with coming of age without what “coming-of-age” typically means in movies. It’s so wholesome!

    • @flowerhead4404
      @flowerhead4404 Год назад +5

      top teir comment and a top teir pfp ✨👌 what a great musical

    • @seekittycat
      @seekittycat Год назад +21

      I love how they're ready to fight like anyone who mess with their girl 😂.

    • @guerney2000
      @guerney2000 Год назад +40

      The movie showed realistic reaction of 13 year old kids to meeting a giant fluffy red panda, which was "oh my god, that's so cute"

  • @dragoneye6652
    @dragoneye6652 Год назад +365

    "I'm changing, mom. I'm finally figuring out who I am, but.. I'm scared it'll take me away from you." This line hit me extra hard because I'm closeted, and I'm horrified of how family members like my dad will react, but I cant keep living like this. I'm always tired, my room looks like a dump,everytime I screw up, I have a full blown panic attack, and everytime i look at myself in the mirror, I dont see me. I see my distorted and blurry reflection. I'm sick of my brain wanting me to die, but I'm not brave enough to figure myself out. This is why I cant wait to graduate highschool next year and hopefully go to college, but at the same time, adulthood terrifies me.

    • @Yukiinaru
      @Yukiinaru Год назад +29

      Hey, I don't know you, but I hope it got better for you, and if it didn't yet, I hope it will get better for you soon. I know the fear of rejection, and while I wish I could say "come out, be proud" I know it's not always this easy, so.. in the meantime, I hope you hold on!
      You're a wonderful person, and you will manage, adulthood is a scary time, and.. honestly, it's messy af, but, it goes on, day after day, one step at a time, I hope you have a good day, and that you get to smile today

    • @juriepica1174
      @juriepica1174 Год назад +13

      I'm sorry you feel that way... It's hard...
      I'm in a similar place where I'm incredibly close to my mom. I was with her all the time as a kid, and to this day we talked about life or the past and it's wonderful.
      But I'm trans, I know that. I can't tell her cause I'm her daughter... In my extended family I was also the youngest for a long time and most of them see me as a little kid even though I'm 20 and in college. My nickname is literally translated to "Little Sister".
      But I can't bring myself to come out, it's harder when you don't know how they'll react but even to the people who I know are kind and would still love me I know it will change our dynamic and that's terrifying.
      I hope you're feeling better, just know you aren't alone in this...

    • @charliedeegan1598
      @charliedeegan1598 Год назад +15

      Adulthood will free you. Coming from a former queer kid, you will get through this and become the beautiful gay butterfly you deserve to be. Stay strong my friend

    • @e1221
      @e1221 Год назад +9

      I’m ace, and still closeted as well. I wonder if I’ll ever tell my parents, or if I’ll simply try to live the life I want without having them be a part of that decision. It’s something I’m not sure of myself, so while I can’t help you, I hope you know that you’re not alone. What I do know is that as scary as adulthood is, every overwhelming part about it passes eventually, and it gets a tiny bit easier to deal with the next time around. When I was in high school and just about to enter college, I didn’t know if I’d make the right choice, or if I’d ever be good enough to make my family proud. The things I wanted for myself seemed so far away it seemed near impossible. Several years later, I think I can say on the good days that I’ve become someone *I* can be proud of, and that somehow I’ve managed to end up exactly where I wished I could be. I still have a very long road ahead of me, but I know that I’ll come out of it alive (until I’m not, obviously, but mortality is a whole other can of worms). Try to listen to yourself, and take it one day at a time. One day you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come. I may not know you, but I believe in you. Good luck.

    • @angelwhispers2060
      @angelwhispers2060 Год назад +3

      Real talk about human sexuality. It doesn't fit into just one box. When you are a raging sack of hormones that are playing constant absolute hell on your psychology, pretty much from the age of 15 to 25 you want to experience with any consenting appropriately aged person who's willing to throw down with you. Simply because you're currently same-sex-attracted doesn't mean that you won't eventually be attracted to someone opposite sex.
      My aunt is hot like supermodel hot and she's only 10 years older than me she was literally a model for several years between 18 and 25. She flew both ways and for someone that pretty it makes sense. That she would have interested parties of all varieties. She didn't settle into her preferred sexuality until she was 28. And only finally got married in her forties. Don't pigeonholed yourself with the label of "I am homosexual", "I am heterosexual"; just be a human who likes other humans. Until you decide what you want for your life. Labels are super unhelpful

  • @meiji4785
    @meiji4785 Год назад +96

    My mom's friend told her that this movie had the subliminal message telling kids that they have an inner monster that they can let out whenever they want to. Some people are just too stubborn to acknowledge how their children are their own persons who have their own minds and personalities.

  • @Biklingchan85
    @Biklingchan85 Год назад +912

    As a Chinese Canadian, my parents would NEVER apologize. The only time my dad actually DID apologize was because my Caucasian husband had called him out, and I suspect that had more to do with saving face in front of my husband than actually apologizing.

    • @CelibateCetologist
      @CelibateCetologist Год назад +79

      Damn. Go Angel-chan’s husband.

    • @googoogaga7986
      @googoogaga7986 Год назад +42

      My dad never has apologised for all the trauma and pain he gives me, it’s been there since I was like 10 years old, I’m never gonna get closure, I know that already, it’s interesting to see others who have similar experience, even though I’m white and FARRR from being married

    • @jborrego2406
      @jborrego2406 Год назад

      Good thing u had white husband . Lot minority want to look good in front white ppl. If ur husband was Asian he probably wouldn’t have done that

    • @onemore4567
      @onemore4567 Год назад +6

      my parents will never apologize, and even if they did, i wouldn't forgive them

    • @onemore4567
      @onemore4567 Год назад +2

      @@CelibateCetologist i agree with you, also, interesting username. what's it supposed to mean

  • @wijcik
    @wijcik Год назад +1469

    I can't imagine anyone telling Alan to not cry. It's one of my favourite things about him. And as a mixed race person, I identify with the experiences of Sophie. Telling my white mom about the racism I've faced due to being part Native American has been heartbreaking. To a large extent I wanted to shield her from it because I didn't want her to feel bad for me.

    • @raulnatokapa
      @raulnatokapa Год назад +33

      Allan is baby, and must be protected

    • @karaleigh_eva
      @karaleigh_eva Год назад +31

      Also as mixed race, I had to have a moment telling my yt mom about the woc experiences I’ve had that never once crossed her mind

    • @anica7438
      @anica7438 Год назад +31

      yes Alan crying is a healthy masculinity trait why they gotta bully him like that-

    • @stellabelikiewicz1523
      @stellabelikiewicz1523 Год назад +15

      I can’t even imagine what it must be like to feel like you have to protect your parent from the damaging effects of the constant racism that YOU are experiencing 😔… the world is extremely terrible sometimes.

    • @wijcik
      @wijcik Год назад +10

      @@stellabelikiewicz1523 Thank you. I've had to learn balance with what I tell her and what doesn't need to be disclosed. It's tough to navigate at times so finding stories that represent me is wonderful.

  • @AverytheCubanAmerican
    @AverytheCubanAmerican Год назад +187

    Fun Fact: In Chinese (as well as Korean and Japanese) culture, 4 is a cursed number (kind of how people see the number 13) since the Chinese pronunciation for 4 (四/Sì) is really similar to the pronunciation of death (死/Sǐ). Which is why the characters will reference this. Also, the grandma wasn't wrong since if you think about it, at least ONE person must have died in that concert.
    And a neat detail I like in the movie: The school is named after Lester B. Pearson. He was the 14th PM of Canada, but the reason he's especially important is under his term, Canada introduced the world's first discrimination-free points-based system for immigration, which boosted lots of Asian immigration. He also promoted biculturalism of French and English having equal status. Not to mention, it was under HIM that the Canadian flag is the maple leaf flag that it is today!

    • @TyphinHoofbun
      @TyphinHoofbun 7 месяцев назад +9

      That "cursed number" bit made it especially amusing when the "like button" reminder popped up and brought the number to 44,444. They had to know what they were doing with that.

    • @randonym
      @randonym 6 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@TyphinHoofbunhaha yeah i squinted at that and was like, "ah, it's one digit extra. safe (lol)"

  • @Demonslayer232
    @Demonslayer232 Год назад +96

    26:33 as someone who grew up in a Central American family, let me tell you, *the* most unrealistic part of Encanto to me was that Mirabel was able to call out her grandmother without her, or one of the other adults, threatening to slap her teeth down her throat and forcing HER to apologize X'D

    • @doro5026
      @doro5026 Год назад +22

      to be fair tho you saw how absolutely done julieta and pepa were with their mom at this point even the husbands got into the mix

  • @Celestein
    @Celestein Год назад +208

    I am truly loving the trend of having no 'villains' in the story. Turning Red and Encanto both involve challenges, flaws and the effects of toxic behaviours without demonizing any characters. It shows humans as the imperfect but hopeful beings we are.

  • @raulnatokapa
    @raulnatokapa Год назад +962

    TBH this movie was very proggressive in many ways. You can consider it feminist because the story revolves in woman and womanhood experience, but also give a very good spotlight to positive masculinty in Jin. He was the reason why Ming stepped out of her mother even if was harmful, he opened the eyes to Mei for being open about herself. He was a supporting character, but wasnt invisible. He is complementary in Ming's life. Other thing it showed is that girls can also harm and bully boys. I know it wasnt done on purpose by Mei, but her overpowering and making Ty cry, and making her accountable for that was very good example. Instead of showing it as girl boss or girl power, it was framed as an impulse of violence, and considered as such. I can't say is a perfect movie, but it's a very good and memorable one!

    • @LittleOph
      @LittleOph Год назад +124

      Jin is quiet, but shown as strong and clever. Remember, when Ming asks him to draw a circle? He's already doing it, he's not waiting for an order, he just does what's right, and he won't brag about it later.

    • @raulnatokapa
      @raulnatokapa Год назад +46

      @@LittleOph Jin best husbando

    • @cairrean2412
      @cairrean2412 Год назад +33

      The only thing they could've handled better was how the girls turned around and magically accepted the bully boy once they saw him at the same concert.

    • @yeeaahhzz
      @yeeaahhzz Год назад +30

      @@LittleOph and he got excited to just be able to hang out with his wife!

    • @ashleyryan2
      @ashleyryan2 Год назад +48

      You have no idea how happy I was to see a dad who had his daughters back. My dad is an A+ dad and always has my back. And we both get mad when the dad is not a good dad. And it is rare in movies to see this kind of dad.

  • @zoeydoesyoutube4849
    @zoeydoesyoutube4849 Год назад +166

    The line "I'm never gonna be perfect for anyone" was something I repeated to myself a lot until my grandma had a talk with me and the one thing she said that actually made me start crying was "being perfect must be pretty hard to live up to"

  • @chellesama8256
    @chellesama8256 Год назад +57

    Being able to say I cry just as much as Alan Seawright makes me proud that I cry in theaters.
    Thanks guys.

  • @rachelhughes8487
    @rachelhughes8487 Год назад +881

    I was raised in a very accepting, loving family. This film made me cry just out of gratitude that my mother never embarrassed me and never pushed me to be anything other than myself.

    • @virginiaandrade8009
      @virginiaandrade8009 Год назад +66

      That is such a rare gift. You are right to be grateful

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 Год назад +9

      "Is that on Amazon?" TIKTOK

    • @silver9wolf6
      @silver9wolf6 Год назад +18

      I didnt cry at this movie but same, I'm so thankful for parents and how they raised and loved and supported me. The older I get the more blessed I realize that I am

    • @xd._.28234
      @xd._.28234 Год назад +5

      @@silver9wolf6 x2

    • @normalhuman9878
      @normalhuman9878 Год назад +7

      The more I learn about strict parents, the more I appreciate my parents giving me freedom and supporting my choices while still being there when I need them

  • @omegabae1293
    @omegabae1293 Год назад +434

    My mom was emotionally unavailable. But I understand. She grew up in a really abusive home, her dad coming home drunk with a machete threatening to kill someone. Beatings. She was the scapegoat in their family so she got it worse.
    Her being emotionally distant was her giving her best for us, making sure we had what she had needed. Safety. Food on the table and no one screaming threats at you. That was her way of showering us with her love.
    And now I see her blossom while interacting with my daughter, her only grandchild. She is so soft, so present. And I feel so blessed to witness her opening up to express and receive love as she deserves it. Because she does, even if for a long time she couldn't see it.

    • @mallorycarpinski1160
      @mallorycarpinski1160 Год назад +39

      This made me tear up. Beautiful anecdote.

    • @omegabae1293
      @omegabae1293 Год назад +57

      @@mallorycarpinski1160 I am in the process of reclaiming my Mom as a flawed human trying her best with the tools she had instead of the subpar parental units I felt she insisted on being (my teenage perception) just to spite me.
      I was an arrogant child. Still am. I believed she was dumb because she didn't read books like me.
      I remember once mocking her because when she was really mad, she would hit us with a flimsy chancla, the rubber soled ones that costed less than a dollar. I was making a joke about the fact that even hitting os with such an unthreatening object, she broke down in tears before we did.
      How dumb, don't you think?
      Only recently it occurred to me that discipline in her childhood meant violence and abuse. It was the only parenting tool she had. She didn't know how else to discipline, and she must have felt horrible every time she did it.
      She was trying her best, I mocked her for it.
      I'm just glad she has lived this long and is still healthy, so I can rediscover the facets of who she is. Not just as my mom.

    • @mallorycarpinski1160
      @mallorycarpinski1160 Год назад +36

      @@omegabae1293 I really appreciate that you see her as a person who has gone through life and difficulties that have shaped her the same as you and everyone else and that you have compassion for her. 👏

    • @elena-cosminamelinte3299
      @elena-cosminamelinte3299 Год назад +19

      Maybe that was her way to respond to the trauma. My father was abusive towards me my mom and my sister and i remember that I just kept shoving my emotions inside and wont let anyone else see that i was hurting deeply inside. This is a defensive mechanism, she did her best for you even though her best sometimes might seem that is never good enough from the outside.

    • @alejandrafigueroa6332
      @alejandrafigueroa6332 Год назад +15

      @@omegabae1293 This is relatable. I'm beginning the process of understanding my dad as a human. He was strict growing up and eventually took us to church which only seemed to make him more strict. He's not big on talking about feelings and I'm a very sensitive/emotional person. I also left church a few years ago so it feels like there's this huge rift between us. When I look back on everything I try to understand he was doing his best, admittedly it's still hard for me to accept. I can also be arrogant. I have two young nieces and he's so much more loving with them than he was with me/my siblings. Sometimes it hurts to see others getting what you didn't but needed. I harbor A LOT of resentment toward him but I'm also experiencing a slow shift in perspective. He's had certain experiences, some of which i'll never know, that marked him for life and in some ways have affected his children. It's a very emotional, challenging shift but it's also comforting to read about other's stories and know i'm not alone. Take good care

  • @idrathernot3009
    @idrathernot3009 Год назад +82

    Him saying "I'm never going to get that from my mom" resonated with me so suddenly and so profoundly

  • @sarah-louisedominique2450
    @sarah-louisedominique2450 Год назад +45

    I really love how this movie celebrates being a teenage girl and stuff that teenage girls love. It just felt so refreshing in comparison to the way our society ususally treats them. I haven't experienced a lot of the things Mei and her friends experience but it still feels so relatable and comforting!

  • @dss7876
    @dss7876 Год назад +405

    One beautiful thing about Mei's mom is she is giving Mei the 'freedom and support' that she herself wasn't allowed to have.

    • @InspiringYoungLady
      @InspiringYoungLady Год назад +21

      Yes. She is not perfect but she broke a couple of family cycles by already separating herself from many aspects of the more problematic relationship she bad with her mother.

    • @Jane-oz7pp
      @Jane-oz7pp Год назад +20

      @@InspiringYoungLady AND in so doing, she gave her own mother and sisters the prompt they needed to re-evaluate their own inter-familial relationships. Honestly Ming growing was what the whole family needed, even if the burden should never have been on her and Mei-Lee to begin with.

    • @sashakarasawa5794
      @sashakarasawa5794 11 месяцев назад

      @@Jane-oz7pp *Meilin

  • @sergioruiz733
    @sergioruiz733 Год назад +329

    I love the Dad in this movie, he reminds me of my dad growing up, soft spoken and generally understanding, calm and stoic.

  • @poogissploogis
    @poogissploogis Год назад +80

    I love the way Jono validated the way that Alan isn't afraid to show emotion on the show. I've always really admired and adored him for it.

  • @aspillust
    @aspillust Год назад +82

    this movie made me sob hysterically. i think it was the scene with mei and her mom's inner child that really broke me, but honestly that entire section of that movie had me crying like a baby. my mom carries a lot of generational trauma on her shoulders that, like ming, she doesn't like to/doesn't talk about often. and i feel for her, but i resent her sometimes because she passed that trauma on to me. turning red will always be special to me, i've never felt more connected to a movie than i have with this one, mainly because i see so much of my younger self in mei and vice versa. now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to watch this movie again and bawl my eyes out for a second time.

  • @laurabowman8892
    @laurabowman8892 Год назад +828

    I remember when my teenage daughter showed me this film, when it first came out and she couldn't understand why I was crying so hard towards the end when Mei Mei's (not sure I spelled it right) mom told her that she'll always be proud of her. I cried cause this movie made me wonder if I was failing as a mom. If I told my daughter that I'm proud. If I've ever made her feel like she couldn't come to me or if I wasn't listening to her. I've watched it countless times cause it's a great film but I will say it has definitely changed up some of my parenting choices. Same with Encanto.

    • @Jarod-vg9wq
      @Jarod-vg9wq Год назад +45

      I love films can have impacts on that.

    • @pinkmoonrabbit2072
      @pinkmoonrabbit2072 Год назад +71

      I think the fact that you were willing to reflect on yourself, and change, makes you a great parent.
      That is the medicine in stories like these. To help us grow.

    • @ShipperTrash
      @ShipperTrash Год назад +20

      Your reflection is good, keep it up! All parents make mistakes and hurt their kids, but if you try hard enough to make it right, your child won't be holding many (if any) grudges on you. My mom used to be very explosive, yelling and even sometimes cursing at me (and don't get me started on belt). But in recent years I saw her learning rapidly about psychology and reflecting on a lot on her actions. It was amazing, and even though we don't have perfect relationship, I forgave a lot of things she did or said that I used to be very angry at, just cuz she made amends and I've allowed her. Holy shit, do I love psycology, my dramatic speech style comes in handy 😂

  • @thepurpz
    @thepurpz Год назад +855

    "The farther you go, the prouder I'll be" really hit me in the gut. My mom died when I was 12, and ever since then, I've been haunted wondering what she would want me to do and what she would think of me. That quote is one of the first I've heard that sounds like something she *could* have said, just knowing her character. Very good writing.

    • @ancairinadumitru3306
      @ancairinadumitru3306 Год назад +33

      As a mom, I can tell you what I want for my daughter: to be a good person, to be independent and to do what makes her happy. So if you manage to do something that fulfills you in life, she'd be very happy and proud of you. A big hug!

    • @lilyc1808
      @lilyc1808 Год назад +12

      Same, I lost my mom 3 years ago at 20, it was a time in my life where I was figuring out what I wanted to do in life, and a time to find myself, and not having her around even now at 23, I still wonder if I'm making her proud

    • @Dwde6
      @Dwde6 Год назад +6

      @@ancairinadumitru3306 This is actually so sweet.

    • @ember-fire7583
      @ember-fire7583 Год назад +7

      I understand, @@lilyc1808, and I can't fully be sure, but I like to think you are making her so proud and much more every single day.

  • @EmperorOfApathy
    @EmperorOfApathy 7 месяцев назад +15

    I like the comparison of their size to their emotion. Mei's mother most likely had a massive red panda due to her repressed emotions, stifling and overbearing pressure from *her* mother, plus the new feeling that maybe she's letting down her own daughter. Everyone else had just big transformations because they didn't feel as stifled with their emotions as Mei's mom. Mei felt comfortable with her life and had several outlets to channel into when her family life got a bit too much and the rest of her family seemed pretty comfortable in their own skin, especially her grandmother, who seemed mostly the way she was because of the "family honor" and "self respect" life-style type things.

  • @DanniDollarsign
    @DanniDollarsign Год назад +117

    Damn, Sophie bringing up the whole "Growing up mixed is different from being raised mono-cultural" got me good. It's such a nuanced experience that only other mixed people really seem to understand -- now mixing that into "Turning Red"'s whole puberty metaphor just totally brings it to a whoooooole new level... Great episode~

    • @sophietellez
      @sophietellez Год назад +3

      I'm so glad it resonated with someone!

    • @hnichole
      @hnichole Год назад +5

      Yes, I felt so seen when Sophie said that! I'm in a similar situation as her, but for me it's my dad who's white and my mother who is Hispanic. It's a weird dynamic because there weren't a lot of other mixed kids around me growing up, so you kind of feel isolated from each culture and not fully "enough" for either. It always makes me happy to see other mixed people like her who understand the feeling!

  • @claratackla3953
    @claratackla3953 Год назад +776

    I love how they talked about not only growing up, but how Mei started to have interest about boys. As a woman I grew up with the idea of romantic love, but most of what I felt growing wasn't romantic, but hormonal, and I used to think that I was weird, like "this isn't normal". I'm glad they showed this!

    • @nooneanonymous3340
      @nooneanonymous3340 Год назад +81

      Absolutely. Crushes and feelings and sexuality are things that aren’t talked about in our family. I feel that if my and my siblings were male, we’d be more open about it. So, as an adult living with parents, I still have never been in a relationship or come out of the closet. It’s not talked about.

    • @somedragonbastard
      @somedragonbastard Год назад +46

      Yeah, people are complaining that its "too sexual" (how?) but also... teens experience sexuality. And it's just as cringy and awkward as the film depicts. I never dealt with it personally (asexual) but it's an important thing to acknowledge

    • @kiralonely1307
      @kiralonely1307 Год назад +11

      As someone AFAB who was...very hormonal in that regard, and to be fair, so was my mother, it was also very isolating to feel...idk, like my puberty went wrong. I was under 10 when my libido started, and 10 when it hit full force and stopped being just weirdly itchy in weird places and exploring your body for the first time because you never paid attention to certain parts until now, and just became hormones and bottling emotions lol. (My mom and I both think we might have like a whole line of women (and I) in our family who have like PCOS and/or at least slightly above average testosterone levels which contributes to the high libido. I did indeed have higher testosterone than average when I had that stuff tested before I started HRT.)
      (If it's not kinda hinted at obviously enough, I'm a trans man. And when I say my libido was high, like, my libido on testosterone feels like about the same in quantity, it just presents different.)
      I don't have a lot of like sexuality repression and shit in my childhood, but that is one thing that's always affected me. I always felt like my puberty and libido made me dark and gross for the insane shit I'd come up with as a kid, and that's hard to unravel, even as an adult. There's still a large part of me that feels like I was wrong during puberty and shit, and not just for the dysphoria.
      It's really sad that we encourage that sort of shit in AFAB kids so predominately. :( I didn't even realize I had these like built in emotions regarding that shit until years of therapy later, lol. It just, it sucks.

    • @Gamyeon
      @Gamyeon Год назад +3

      As someone who didn’t get that through puberty, it actually gave me pretty good idea of what my friends went through. It was fascinating to say the least xD.

  • @ShermanCassidy
    @ShermanCassidy Год назад +696

    She had such a great dad. Dad cares for her and is an empathetic listener. Her dad reminded me of my dad. He’s the best. He encourages her and basically says that there is nothing wrong with what she’s done.
    I thought also, they nailed the cringiness of being 13 and awkwardness of it and feeling like you are this big awkward panda. Nailed it

    • @littlepixieme1
      @littlepixieme1 Год назад +29

      I wish my dad was like that. I used to think he was, but then as I got older I learned he was just the softer version of my mom - he was the good cop to her bad cop but they both were still cops enforcing their rule rather than supporting me as an individual

    • @mori6434
      @mori6434 Год назад +9

      @@littlepixieme1 I wish mine was like that too, but I always knew he wouldn't be. Not when I spent my childhood getting into literal legal fights with him over custody time. It's only now that I'm older and in my 20s though that I find myself really longing for that good father figure I never had.
      At least my mom is amazing though, I'm sorry you had to deal with two unsupportive parents.

    • @googoogaga7986
      @googoogaga7986 Год назад +3

      My mum and dad are the exact flip of Mei’s hehe

    • @g.d.graham2446
      @g.d.graham2446 Год назад +2

      Definitely

    • @koallawangja
      @koallawangja Год назад

      They nailed the awkwardness so hard that I was watching the movie from down the hall cause it was so accurate lmao

  • @xlabratx5729
    @xlabratx5729 Год назад +19

    I cried so much in this movie because of how relatable it was, my mom would always say 'I never MADE you do anything!', refusing to understand that her emotional manipulation counted as a form of control

  • @TheTopazChannel
    @TheTopazChannel Год назад +32

    I've been talking about what Mei did in this movie a lot lately. Sometimes our parents need the "gentle parenting" they weren't given to move forward with us. She nurtured the kid inside her mother and in turn the grandmother. Don't simply give up on someone because they hurt you. I think its worth it to see if even a part of them is willing to do better.

  • @DArson
    @DArson Год назад +725

    The scene where she's like," I'm finding out who I am." I wish I got that sooner as a kid. I was fit into a mold, and now barely realizing who I am and what I wanna be. I love this movie

    • @witchypoo7353
      @witchypoo7353 Год назад +12

      I have a similar experience. I wasn’t allowed to be myself so much that at 26 all I know are little things like my color, food, & I’m learning about my style

    • @alistacramen9799
      @alistacramen9799 Год назад +7

      I’m 30 and just realizing I don’t know who I am.

    • @witchypoo7353
      @witchypoo7353 Год назад +3

      @@alistacramen9799 I understand. I started with finding little things about me. I liked pink & eventually figured out that it was favorite color. Then that pastel pink was my favorite, not because my mother told me it was but because I liked it. Then I learned that that was okay & that that doesn’t mean that I can’t be my own person.
      I hope this helped

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 Год назад +1

      Indeed
      Dont be a mold
      Make your own mold

    • @rach3092
      @rach3092 Год назад +2

      As a ND kid. Me too, me too…I have extreme personality issues and it’s because of marking and trying to fit in with others’ because I’ve never got a chance to find myself like Mei does.

  • @Mockingdragon
    @Mockingdragon Год назад +224

    I think my favorite thing about Turning Red was that Mei and Ming do have a close relationship. It isn't JUST that Mei doesn't want to get in trouble or anything like that, but that Mei wants her mother's approval *because she likes her* and wants that close relationship to stay. It's painful and scary to risk the relationship they have, not knowing if anything better will come of it later. That's a huge dynamic in the movie that helps make it all feel real.

  • @ghostkitty9263
    @ghostkitty9263 Год назад +82

    My favourite thing about this film is how the lack of communication was shown and how Mei still tried to express her likes, but not being too direct about it.
    For example, when she mentions 4town for the first time, she just says that her friend likes it to check her mother's reaction without the situation ending up being a talk about her. When she finally talks about 4town, she created a fancy presentation, which shows how anxious and defensive she became about her interest.
    Personally, it's the most relatable moment for me as in high school (UK), I wanted to do art GCSE as my third option instead of geography. My overprotective mother quickly jumped to conclusions when I became direct about it and later, I felt like I had to make an essay about why doing art GCSE won't destroy my future and the benefits of doing art. I wrote over 20 reasons and I was ready to spend my free time researching the benefits of art. The only thing that stopped me was my mother who noticed that I really care about art and I really dislike geography. Then there were situations with video games, manga and anime. One day, I tried to include my mother and I played what I thought could potentially fit her tastes, but I only got a negative confused reaction. This ended up being a negative conclusion as I felt like the door to discuss things got closed.
    Often adults judge what kids like or do while forgetting that they also used to like things that their parents found to be weird. This gets worse when you are a shy person and you already feel judged by peers and other family members who still see a pre-puberty child. Having an open discussion without feeling like somebody made their own conclusion before the conversation is important.
    In the end, the last scenes show a positive development, which also occurred in my family. Mei is less withdrawn and anxious about her interests, while her mother is more open-minded and accepts her decisions. There are still some hiccups like her saying "You are not going like that"" when Mei had panda ears, but it didn't feel like a solid no and Mei hasn't felt cornered like previously.

  • @SarahJSweetheart
    @SarahJSweetheart Год назад +96

    I lost my mum when i waw little, so my dad had to deal with me when i "turned red". This man was in the RAF for 40 years, he fought in the falklands, flew over iraq at the height of the war, even privately escorted prime ministers, ALL withour breaking a sweat. I got my first period and i have never seen such a look of SHEER panic spread across a mans face THAT quickly XD
    EDIT: Cute story tho, he got his female friend to write an instruction guide for what to do. So when IT happened, he frantically ran to his room, pulled out this box from under his bed, BUSTED it open like it was ennwrgency first aide, skimmed the instructions quickly, and was like "OK you're gonna need one of these, and a bunch for later, these ones if they're too big, these ones for night time, take 2 of these for cramps, and, err...heres some chocolate". I walked away carrying A PILE of sanitary pads like a large load of folded laundry XD

    • @videoket
      @videoket Год назад +16

      That’s a great dad right there. 😭❤️

  • @elanors628
    @elanors628 Год назад +462

    I was brought up in a society where we don't talk about our bodies or puberty change. I have a friend who still had a problem talking about this with her kids, and she refuses to even watch Turning Red.
    I watched it with my kids the weekend it came out. I am the mom that says, "ok so, anatomically speaking..." and I do not lie to my kids. If they are mature enough to ask, I will tell them.

    • @sparkles7111
      @sparkles7111 Год назад +51

      thank you for being that mom. it was really hard growing up alone as a woman

    • @alyshaharper8730
      @alyshaharper8730 Год назад +68

      @@sparkles7111 this also helps your children protect themselves from perverts. There is actual evidence that children who are informed about their bodies are less likely to be victimized.

    • @matheussanthiago9685
      @matheussanthiago9685 Год назад +37

      I've seen so many accounts of ppl who watched this movie and felt extremely jealous of Mei, for her mother being so attentive to her bodily needs when she thought mei were having her period
      Some ppl were left in the dark until the bleeding started, and got punished later for that
      It's crazy
      All kids deserve parents, not all parents deserve their kids

    • @sparkles7111
      @sparkles7111 Год назад +23

      @@alyshaharper8730 youre right. i am a victim of men who took at advantage of me because i didnt know any better, and it makes me so sad

    • @daulahiftitah6461
      @daulahiftitah6461 Год назад +3

      In my case, since I've always been a curious kid, I really, bluntly asked "mom, why do you have diapers?" when I was, like, 8-10 years old, and when I entered middle school, she actually gave a a little "briefing" (and no, I don't think it was sugar-coated)

  • @twisteddreams1751
    @twisteddreams1751 Год назад +622

    As someone who is Chinese American, I can say that there is a bit of a generational gap. Growing up, my siblings and I were expected to be respectful of our parents. No lying, no talking back, just listen and do what they told us to do. There was always the pressure of being the perfect child for them because they'd often talk about how this friend's kid could do this amazing thing but we could not. "Why can't you be like them?" they would say, "I would be proud to tell my friends about you if you were." I'll be honest, growing up like that really makes it feel like I'd never be good enough for my parents because they would always have someone else to compare me to. Any accomplishments I have had weren't talked about as much as failures because there was someone else they knew that had accomplished that. And I would honestly like it if they would say they were proud of me, even if it was just one time.
    But there is also comparison between my brothers and me. Seeing as they are boys, my parents don't pressure them as much to be perfect. Boys are already valued more in the family anyways. It's fine if they talk back, but to a minimum. Girls are typically expected to be polite, proper, and obedient. Stay in their place and not step out of line.

    • @brill34536
      @brill34536 Год назад +34

      holyyyy i relate to ALL of what you just described so hard

    • @brighidmcmullen9577
      @brighidmcmullen9577 Год назад +47

      I am so sorry that both of you experienced that. It isn't fair and not right. It makes me very sad to see children held to unreasonable standards and to know that they are less valued simply because they weren't born a male. You both deserved better.

    • @Jarod-vg9wq
      @Jarod-vg9wq Год назад +13

      Hope you got therapy for that and learned to love yourself and respect yourself no matter what.

    • @Ascher322
      @Ascher322 Год назад +26

      I never had this level of strictness firsthand, but I dated a girl with an Asian (i think korean) mom who was constantly on her to be perfect. The stereotypical below a 95 is failing, etc. but didn't do the same to her brother. I felt like it led to a lot of the self doubt she had in herself. She struggled to be perfect for her mom, which kind of stung looking outside in knowing that you can't really fix it. I still wish I could have helped in some way and hope her mom gets a reality check.
      It also led to her being jealous of other women friends in my life, because she felt like I would find someone better. Sidenote: she's the only person I dated so far for unrelated reasons. I could never really get mad at her, cause I felt like I knew where it was coming from and I didn't consider it her fault, but I also wasn't changing who I was. Now I wasn't a great SO either, I could have done a lot better. We eventually broke up, but I never hated them. Still don't.
      I can remember her and a friend of mine who had a Columbian mother who was petty strict about a lot of things. She would prevent him from going out for stupid reasons like not taking out the trash or something else. It always felt like an excuse to prevent him from leaving. Especially as he got older, he said she got like that cause he was leaving to college and she was being lonely, still not an excuse in my book. I had a personal dislike to her, because of trying to get him to do stuff and then being denied cause of her and the stories he told.
      Moral of what I'm saying is that parents in the above examples are not how you should act. I don't know what the correct way to parent is, but causing anxiety and self doubt in your child or being a fort knox mom is not how I think you should act. I still care about my past friends and exes and wish them the best in life.

    • @mcnguyen6796
      @mcnguyen6796 Год назад +2

      I was sorta like that for a while too. I'm really glad that I have a sister and we usually back each other up. It's really unfair and I wish you had somebody in the family back you up too. It had taken me a while to learn that I love my parents but they are not perfect (parents can totally abusive) and it's ok to set boundaries for myself. I hope that you will learn to put yourself first and one day, you will be ok.

  • @zainabjilani3701
    @zainabjilani3701 Год назад +30

    One of the elements I love about this movie is how the quiet, emotive Dad is in the background a lot but VERY supportive and ends up saying of the most impactful things to Mei-Mei(-Lin) that helps her make a decision based on what she really wants and it not backlashing to being selfish or wrong necessarily just because its not what previous generations, or not what her mother, did. Her dad simple but genuine words and care reminds me of something father-figures in my life would have said or did. Pointing out that the Panda’s “dangerous” and needs “control” are her mothers and previous relatives’ words, not her own. Pointing out that her being her true self in the videos, he liked and made him laugh. That average people may not have a panda-self but people do have to learn to deal with their emotions, thats a common ground for her and her family to others, and reminding her she’ll still be loved panda or not panda! Sometimes when we’re overwhelmed by having or feeling as if having to make important decisions immediately, we tend to minimize what we want, who we are to fit in or to fall in line with expectations.

  • @jodi106
    @jodi106 Год назад +31

    It's such a small part, but whoever voiced young Ming did amazing. Can feel how sad and distraught she was.

  • @nerdygal6133
    @nerdygal6133 Год назад +1623

    You both should watch ‘Wolf Children’! It’s a gorgeous film about parenthood, growing up and finding your place in the world!

    • @HappleProductions
      @HappleProductions Год назад +249

      The scene where she can't figure out whether to call a doctor or a vet is just pure, unadulterated "I'm a new parent and I have no idea what I'm doing," and it's beautiful.

    • @geniegoodson5829
      @geniegoodson5829 Год назад +23

      I’ve been asking for that

    • @natconproductions149
      @natconproductions149 Год назад +22

      PLEASE DO

    • @shadowrose914
      @shadowrose914 Год назад +17

      This would be wonderful

    • @bloatedcow1361
      @bloatedcow1361 Год назад +22

      @@HappleProductions bruh, that made me cry a lot

  • @1bendykat
    @1bendykat Год назад +341

    I’ve never seen a mom-daughter relationship depicted so well on screen then on Turning Red. It’s very hard to hit the nuances of the relationship (especially when bringing in intergenerational women in a family) when men are in charge of a film.

    • @Nylariel
      @Nylariel Год назад +14

      I think Lilo and Stitch also does a good job of this, even if they are sisters. Nani is still Lilo's caretaker and struggling to make ends meet, and while they drive each other up the walls they are still so, so close.

  • @kaydeegreene6574
    @kaydeegreene6574 Год назад +293

    When I watched Turning Red with my partner, he saw the period analogy like everyone else, but I can also see it as an analogy for being neurodivergent and trying to accept it and work with it, vs. being forced to present as neurotypical.

    • @katescosmos
      @katescosmos Год назад +33

      Oh my God thank you! I've been wanting to share these thoughts for far too long, when I watched the trailer at first I thought it was going to be a movie about social anxiety, and that Mei would turn into the panda when she got too overwhelmed, now I can't unsee it as that. And the scenes where the talks to herself ad draws to take emotions out were literally the most relatable to me, because as an autistic person, that's how I cope.

    • @kaykecakes9412
      @kaykecakes9412 Год назад +2

      Bruh what

    • @aaaaaaaaaaa638
      @aaaaaaaaaaa638 Год назад +5

      That's what I thought too!

    • @wilddragonsong2994
      @wilddragonsong2994 Год назад +4

      Absolutely, this movie really hit hard for me as an autistic and ADHD person whose neurodivergence tends to show up in a very loud way. I was always labeled as the bad kid among my quieter (although also neurodivergent) siblings, and I believed it for so long because I wasn't able to quash down those parts of me. It took me years to understand and accept myself as I was, and while my mom will say all the right words and act like she accepts me, her actions show that she still wants me to act like a neurotypical person. I see myself in Mei, and her friend group loving her with or without her panda mirrors my own experiences in marching band with people who wouldn't treat my neurodivergent behaviors as selfish outbursts.

    • @enmunap
      @enmunap 3 месяца назад

      You can take it however you want

  • @alisaperez3716
    @alisaperez3716 Год назад +45

    the editing in this video is IMMACULATE so funny and Sophie is literally hilarious and needs to be on the show more

  • @snapmyneck8818
    @snapmyneck8818 Год назад +234

    I can never talk about feelings without breaking down into tears, it’s really frustrating lol. So, for Mother’s Day I wrote my mom a letter explaining my insecurities, my academic challenges, and apologizing for how much stress I’ve caused her. Of course I gave her the letter and hauled ass out of the house because I didn’t want to see her reaction, but when I got home she told me the letter made her cry.
    We talked after that, and it was nice. Of course I still cried, but she gave me all the time I need to pull myself together and say what I needed to.

    • @ivorywings6094
      @ivorywings6094 Год назад +6

      That's really sweet♡ Good job!♡

    • @mori6434
      @mori6434 Год назад +1

      I'm much the same, I have a very hard time expressing myself even with people I love and trust fully. Telling my mom I needed mental help was one of the hardest things I've done, and like you I had to write her a note, and like your mom she came to me to talk about it and cried when she found out how much I was struggling without her knowing, but she went out and helped me get a therapist and my lifelong depression and suicidal thoughts haven't returned since.
      Mom's who do their best for their emotionally closed off children ftw ✊

  • @Heidi534
    @Heidi534 Год назад +236

    What hit me most is exactly what Jono pointed out. Sometimes we need these movies as a replacement for what we won't actually get. My mother and I haven't spoken in years. She went through her own childhood trauma from her mother and she brought it to me. I had to walk away becuase of the toxicity of the relationship and I worked and still work so hard to heal to make sure I don't pass that down to my girls.

  • @whitethunder9064
    @whitethunder9064 Год назад +37

    I think one thing that's overlooked when people talk about this movie is how powerful support from friends can be. Mei just has to imagine her friends saying they love her and she calms down. That's a really good thing to take away.

  • @Homesicktraveler
    @Homesicktraveler Год назад +31

    The first time my mom watched this, when I talked to her about it she insisted it was about Bipolar. I can totally see where she was coming from *_(her and my sister are Bipolar, I'm the only one who doesn't have it in our family)_* and I realized how much sense it made.

  • @brynncarter4981
    @brynncarter4981 Год назад +95

    I loooove the part where after she keeps her panda her ancestor is just so happy and proud. Its like the ancestor had heen waiting for someone in the family to connect back to that part of thier roots and embrace it. I love the idea that our ancestors love us just the way we are and just want us to embrace the natural gifts we have that are passed down through the family.

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 Год назад +5

      Indeed
      People say our ancestors hate us
      But honestly if they saw us as furries or Weebs or such they'd be smiling saying be happy with what you like

    • @SinHurr
      @SinHurr Год назад +1

      My ancestors gave me hypothyroid and insomnia. But my skin tans *perfectly* and I easily look 10 years younger than I am if I shave. Just have to ward off all that cancer.

  • @risesthemoon1943
    @risesthemoon1943 Год назад +1459

    Showed both Encanto and Turning Red to my parents. Either way, they haven't changed a bit. I know I can't really change my parents with a movie or two, but still. I guess I tried.
    Edit: A lot of people are asking if I've talked to my parents about it. I've tried but they said it was just teenage angst.

    • @trinaq
      @trinaq Год назад +225

      My condolences, some people are unfortunately set in their ways, and unable to see anything else but their own black and white thinking. Just keep being the amazing person that you are, regardless of parental expectations.

    • @dzuhhh
      @dzuhhh Год назад +68

      Maybe they learned something from it and maybe tried to change but still didn't know how to or maybe they try to change a little bit, little by little. I'm a pessimist but I try to be optimistic about this. Wish you all the best

    • @Fivreld
      @Fivreld Год назад +46

      sorry mate, it's a shame that they didn't learn from these films.
      though it gives me hope when i imagine how kids and younger audiences can learn, and therefore not go the same route. my little sister loved these films, and she had all kinds of discussions with me after watching them. ( :

    • @tawumpas
      @tawumpas Год назад +43

      Break the cycle and show love the way you needed it, but for others.

    • @kay-jay1581
      @kay-jay1581 Год назад +21

      Did you also talked to them about how you are treated and what do you want to change? Using movies as example of how you feel is good but if you don’t talk about it I don’t think things are not going to change.

  • @SupremeLeaderKimJong-un
    @SupremeLeaderKimJong-un Год назад +7

    Turning Red from a transit perspective: Toronto has an extensive streetcar system with a network of nine routes and 685 stops. It is the busiest streetcar/light-rail system in North America! Trams began operating in Toronto in 1861. The trams that run through Chinatown run on Spadina Ave. Service on Spadina began back in 1878 but were replaced with buses in 1966. Trams wouldn't return to Spadina Ave until 1997! The tram at 0:41 is a CLRV or Canadian Light Rail Vehicle. These were built between 1977 and 1981 and were in service from 1979 until 2019. They were replaced by the Flexity Outlook.

  • @radleytadong
    @radleytadong Год назад +5

    21:59 one of the people from Domee Shi's team even caed Ming in her panda form "Ming-zilla".🤣

  • @yomommah6866
    @yomommah6866 Год назад +124

    I'm 26 and finally showed both Encanto and Turning Red to my mom. We may still have a long way to go, but I really think the movie opened her eyes not just about our relationship but hers with her mom and that's already means more to me than I can say.

    • @sumgirl720
      @sumgirl720 Год назад +4

      awwww. I think it's amazing that you're on this journey, even if you have a long way to go. Have you two watched Coco together as well?

    • @yomommah6866
      @yomommah6866 Год назад +4

      @@sumgirl720 oh yes, that one also made her tear up! Since we're Caribbean, Coco and Encanto were really special to us on a cultural level as well since Latinos and Caribbeans have quite some cultural overlap. I absolutely can't wait to show all three movies to my father later this year when I visit him! Especially Coco!

    • @yomommah6866
      @yomommah6866 Год назад +1

      @@sumgirl720 also I know this is late but I just wanna say thank you 🤗

  • @silentsmokeNIN
    @silentsmokeNIN Год назад +437

    Alan really helps me feel not so alone because I cry at EVERYTHING in movies. Doesn't matter if it's sad or happy or brave or just whatever, I cry profusely and my friends always look at me as the "tough guy" lol. I cried when captain america caught Thor's hammer, I cried when Vegeta sacrificed himself to save trunks, I even cried during a James bond documentary. Really stupid stuff sometimes... Can't help it haha

    • @aalihte3378
      @aalihte3378 Год назад +28

      It's healthy to cry. You're not alone. I cry often myself.. my mom made fun of me constantly for it. But therapy taught me how powerful it is to cry. How necessary it is and how to accept and be proud of it.

    • @smuj404
      @smuj404 Год назад +6

      Me too! I went to see an am-dram performance of Phantom of the Opera and fully teared up when the actress playing Christine hit the last high note of Think of Me. You're not alone!

    • @flutenanyidk1806
      @flutenanyidk1806 Год назад +6

      That’s an endearing trait in my opinion. Maybe a bit odd at times, but everyone has their odd habits.

    • @flutenanyidk1806
      @flutenanyidk1806 Год назад +3

      @@smuj404 Oh, that specific number is POWERFUL. I don’t blame you.

    • @Robzeke
      @Robzeke Год назад +2

      I get like that when I'm watching something alone. When watching with family I have to really hold it in because I know I'd never stop being teased for it.

  • @stephendavis5530
    @stephendavis5530 10 месяцев назад +7

    The last part in the bamboo forest where she meets her Mom as a little girl is absolutely bloody fantastic! One of the best things I've ever seen. Apparently, this part of the movie hit Chinese and Asian immigrants like a truck....it just hit home so hard.

  • @lizvettrevino1716
    @lizvettrevino1716 Год назад +14

    “She had to be dead for decades to apologize😂😂 that’s what coco got right” %100 true!!! Preach girl!!!

  • @gpettigrewgmailcom
    @gpettigrewgmailcom Год назад +76

    One of my favorite things about this movie is that NO ONE is certain that Mei Lin is making the right decision by keeping her Panda. They just know that it's her decision and will help her with the consequences of it.

  • @AliAngelpie
    @AliAngelpie Год назад +107

    I really like how Pixar wasn't afraid to discuss topics like change and growth, including puberty and periods. That was different, but good. It also reminded me of Brave, with Merida and Elinor's relationship becoming strained as she grows older, but this time they showed the generational effects, how Mei's mother also had issues with her mom. It was perfect

    • @iantaakalla8180
      @iantaakalla8180 Год назад +9

      Brave really was the precursor to this wave of movies, wasn’t it?

    • @matheussanthiago9685
      @matheussanthiago9685 Год назад +7

      For real
      When inside out ended with that one "oh, we don't get to talk about puberty in this movie" joke
      I thought to myself "there's no way Pixar's going to tackle that subject, like ever"
      I'm so glad to be proven wrong

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 Год назад

      @@matheussanthiago9685 I think pixar literally went
      Its a surprise tool that will help us later!

  • @scotttrail522
    @scotttrail522 Год назад +4

    7:21 TELL ME that NO ONE DOESN'T get an "Aww!" expression on their faces at this moment.

  • @AverytheCubanAmerican
    @AverytheCubanAmerican Год назад +3

    When Ming explains that transforming into a red panda was a gift in China but an inconvenience when they moved to Canada, it implies they faced discrimination. The US and Canada like to view ourselves as perfect countries, and yet we don't want to talk about our past and the things we've done to other ethnic groups, like the internment of Japanese-Americans in the western states and Japanese-Canadians in British Columbia during WWII after the attack on Pearl Harbor. By acknowledging our past, we learn from it, we admit our mistakes, and grow as societies. That's what this is about. Acceptance and growth.
    I lost my father to leukemia when I was only eight, so I've only had a mother figure for most of my life, but my Cuban mother has encouraged me to be proud of not just being an American and the opportunities being here has given me, but also what my heritage has given me. And as an autistic person, that I should never have to hide in a shell. We may be different, but we are not less. If people don't like me for expressing myself, then so be.

  • @haileyiscommenting
    @haileyiscommenting Год назад +140

    while I didn't relate to having a mom who is controlling your life, I can relate to having an extremely close relationship with my mom and when we watched her mom say "the farther you go, the prouder I'll be" and we both just started weeping because I'm going to college and it'll be the first time I'm extremely far from her and our little team will be broken up for the first time.

  • @bzzrek9381
    @bzzrek9381 Год назад +319

    Both Encanto and Turning Red are such pivotal movies for this age and it's amazing to see them get the recognition they deserve. Personally even though I love the overall vibe of Encanto probably more than this one, Turning Red just hits me in such a personal way that I never would've imagined. I'm so grateful for this movie and I'm so excited to see you guys react to this

    • @sydposting
      @sydposting Год назад +13

      There's been an absolute renaissance in compassionate/healing narratives in animation over the past few years! Inside Out gave a color-coded and easily-understood schema for people of ALL ages to suddenly be able to identify their emotions in the moment, and view sadness as a healthy and NECESSARY emotion. Pete Docter (the director/writer) also gave us Soul a few years later, which is a *genius* follow-up.

  • @Idiot_TaylorsVersion
    @Idiot_TaylorsVersion Год назад +36

    My mom never really explained periods to me so the first time I got mine I 100% thought I was dying, and I talked to my mom and I was like “we gotta go to the hospital right now! I don’t wanna die!” And she was like “oh you got your period!” I was shook. I’ve dreaded that time of the month since the very first day it happened.
    TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT PERIODS/“PUBERT”Y. Even if it’s a boy, tell him what a period is so he’s not freaking out when he has a girlfriend/wife and she gets her period. Don’t sugarcoat it for any of your kids, but especially not your daughter.

  • @awholelotofdoubting4880
    @awholelotofdoubting4880 Год назад +54

    Sophie is such a treasure. I'm binging your channel and this kind of material and analysis is enjoyable to me in such a specific level I just get happy when I see a new video, but Sophie adds an extra flavor to the commentary and the vibe. Thank you guys! Keep it up!

  • @RavenG77
    @RavenG77 Год назад +177

    This movie spoke to me. My mother had expectations that I was never going to fill. I tried talking to her about how I felt growing up but she would get defensive and angry. Even though she’s gone I really wish we could have worked out our issues…

  • @chewedw1re
    @chewedw1re Год назад +176

    when mei’s mother kept telling her that she was so hard on herself it broke me honestly, i remember my mom saying that exact same thing to me, and just hearing the fact her mother was proud no matter what made me bawl like a baby

  • @AJZ0626
    @AJZ0626 Год назад +12

    Returning to the spirit of the still hurting child, is a representation of overcoming trauma. As someone who was in foster care and has C-PTSD. This movie touched me, because that inner child is still hurt, but I'm proud of where I am on my road to Recovery

  • @krose6451
    @krose6451 Год назад +7

    24:50 I lovedthis description of "color blindness." It is very mt family my family and Ive never heard someone else articulate it.

  • @hillarymead
    @hillarymead Год назад +532

    I really connected to this movie: My parents kept me in the dark a lot due to conservative/religious reasons(didn't help that I'm bisexual and wanted to be an actor), but my mother is also is a Grade A narcissist. I had a LOT of pressure to be perfect to their standards all the time that honestly I let them hold over me well into my late 20s/early 30s. Turning Red really hit home for me because just like Alan, I'm never going to get that apology from my mom and as of 2020, she is no longer a part of my life so that I can heal. While it hurts that it finally had to come to that result, it has been a rebuilding process for my life to start recognizing narcissistic behaviors, and see examples of what good parenting is supposed to look like so that I can be prepared to have healthy relationships for myself.
    Plus, I got in HUGE trouble at 12(also 2002 for me), for hiding my own drawings of (female)erotica under my own bed 🙈 So yeh, this movie felt made for me. 😅

    • @Peppermon22
      @Peppermon22 Год назад +28

      Sometimes we are disabled by our environments. I’m glad you broke away and are healing.

    • @emmabunch-benson4795
      @emmabunch-benson4795 Год назад +14

      I relate HARD ❤️ thanks for sharing

    • @emmabunch-benson4795
      @emmabunch-benson4795 Год назад +5

      @@Peppermon22 so true

    • @isabellaassis3820
      @isabellaassis3820 Год назад +10

      I've been there and I hope you are better now, because you deserve it. 💖💖💖

    • @artscraftsandguitar2826
      @artscraftsandguitar2826 Год назад +4

      This is so relatable, in the sense of being bi and having to keep up to what they expect. for me it was more like, implied, and they try their best, but i think they kind of unknowingly have these expectations. i went out for a walk with my mom one day and this movie actually helped me to come out to her with the idea of not having to hide and being able to be yourself.

  • @sierralovat5498
    @sierralovat5498 Год назад +558

    This movie brought back such nostalgia, was so relatable (at least to me. from the expectation to the drawings), and just all and all a story/movie I really wish was around when I was a teenager.

    • @SariaSchala
      @SariaSchala Год назад +5

      As a 2000s kid I felt all the nostalgia watching this.

    • @RedRoseSeptember22
      @RedRoseSeptember22 Год назад +3

      I was that crazy about N'sync and saw them in concert at 13 lol so this movie definitely reminded me of those crazy fangirl days. I had this whole fantasy played out about how I was gonna meet Lance Bass (the one I had an insane crush on) the night of the concert and we were gonna fall in love and get married lol...well, we all know how that turned out lmfao.

    • @nallyaaaaaa
      @nallyaaaaaa Год назад +3

      i'm not even a 2000s kid but my thirteen year old self could absolutely relate to mei. the drawings (or in my case, writing stories lol), the crushing, the boy bands, and i also met my group of friends at that age too; they're a huge part of my life now.
      i'm still in secondary school, so i'm still a teenager, but damn i don't understand people hating on the movie because "it's not relatable!!!" even if it isn't relatable, that doesn't mean it wasn't a good movie

  • @dresdenvalareo1002
    @dresdenvalareo1002 Год назад +8

    If I ever have kids, I want to be a father like Jin. He always did his best to be supportive of her and That moment he had with Mei right before the ritual still gets me in tears. I want to have that with my kids and let them know that I see them

  • @slightlydistressedslug6627
    @slightlydistressedslug6627 Год назад +5

    10:50 “don’t cheat on your internet dads” 😭❤️

  • @zoechilders6375
    @zoechilders6375 Год назад +187

    I sobbed when I saw this movie. I've tried so hard to be the "perfect daughter" for my parents but I've never fully lived up to their expectations. I've never screamed at my parents (also a death wish in my household - Mom is Chinese and Dad is from an Eastern European family) but things like my career or interests have become heated discussions with either me fully shutting down like Mei Mei or just submitting to my parents. I'll never get any apology from my parents and I'll never hear them say they're proud of me. But I'll always accept the cut fruit they silently offer me because that's the closest I'll ever get to an "I love you."

    • @kyomado
      @kyomado Год назад +6

      Is the cut fruit thing more common in Asian families than I thought? My parents are South Asian immigrants, and both my mom and especially my grandmother do this to me. Don't get me wrong, they can be loving in some ways. But I feel like sometimes Asians have an incredibly hard time apologizing verbally, so they just give you stuff instead after a fight and hope that's enough to get back in your good books (in the case of my mom, it's often food). I understand the logic behind it, but it's a bit sad that this was likely a learned behavior that was passed down through generations. It must be disheartening to grow up knowing that you'll never get any sort of apology, and that all disagreements were always just swept underneath the rug and ignored. I sure know it was depressing for me, growing up. I never felt like giving me stuff was a healthy substitute to an actual conversation about it.

  • @rebecachagas
    @rebecachagas Год назад +112

    8:37 The father of Mei is saying ''Maybe we should trust her'' and her mother talks back with the argumment that ''Is them that I don't trust''. As a daughter like Mei, that always did everything how my parent's want to get the respect and trust I feel that scene SO BAD because even though you're capable of doing things on your own, they want to protect you from the harm of world. I live that quite literally every day of my life, and that create a severe consequence of not believing in youserlf to survive by my own.

  • @jkim1316
    @jkim1316 Год назад +3

    22:36 That's all that kids want. Their parents to see them. That means, recognize your kids as separate from you, an individual with their own struggles.

  • @bushitwo6367
    @bushitwo6367 Год назад +22

    This was very similar to the relationship I had with my mother. We were never this close when I was younger but I worked my butt off to get straight A’s wanting her approval or attention. The first time I got a B though I felt the judge and disappointment, but I realized no matter if I had A’s or B’s I still didn’t have my mothers full love she never said I’m proud of you. My mother was a work aholic and was trying to give us the best life, so I was much closer to my dad since he was the one home more and would go to my athletic events. Growing up my mother never gave me and my sibling an opportunity to share our emotions or how to handle them. We were told to stop crying when we cried, we were told to go to our rooms if we were angry or sad, we were told to smile even when we didn’t feel like it. I realize now my mother did not know how to deal with emotion because of how she grew up losing her dad at the age of 9 in a family of 10 siblings. Dropping out of school after Middle school to work to help support her family financially.
    Our relationship just kept getting worse to the point I pushed her away for years.
    As an adult I finally confronted her and told her how her actions had hurt me and that I forgave her even if she never apologized.
    She started crying and told me something I will never forget, she said all this time I didn’t want you to suffer as I did, growing up poor and not being able to finish school. I wanted you to be successful and happy but I see now that you already are successful and happy in your own way.
    She did say she was sorry and she did what she thought was right at the time but she knows she made a lot of mistakes with me. She blamed herself for my bad behaviors and decisions, and I told her she didn’t need to do that, that I made my decisions and I did regret some of them but they were mine and shaped me who I am today. I forgave her and she forgave me. Something I thought would never happen.
    We finally have a good relationship especially after I set healthy boundaries with her, she is my mother but also my peer. 😊
    This movie and encanto made me realize how much of an impact family trauma can have for family relationships. That trauma started with my grandma and trickled down to my mom and me. But from me is where it stops. I don’t have kids yet but if I ever do, I will be aware of this and be better prepared.

    • @lsmith7461
      @lsmith7461 Год назад

      This is like my mom! My mom grew up in a house with 11 other siblings and raised mainly by a single mother and so my mom grew up to be a workaholic. I’ve noticed and I’ve told her plenty of times to just relax and enjoy life. She’s retired now and even so she just works and works and works. She’s always doing something and because of this she expects me and the rest of my siblings to just keep working. She does not like us to sleep in (even on weekends or in the summer) she wants us up bright and early and not waste the day. She always challenges us academically and wants us to get As and Bs. I’m in college rn and it’s hard ofc and whenever I call her to tell her I’m passing all my classes which is basically C and above. She always says “well let’s work to get that C to at least a B.” And I’m just like I’m a stem major and it’s hella hard and she don’t get it 🤦‍♀️