Anorexia recovery, brain image, distorted thinking, diabetes, hospital, stay alive, Christmas
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
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Hi dear! On this channel I will share my journey with you how NOT to die from anorexia... I am still alive by the grace of God. I have suffered from all kinds of eating disorders since 31 years (!!) now. It is a miracle that I am still alive! And though I seem to be 'at my last end', I will keep trusting that I am still alive for a reason. One of which is to share my story with you. I will give all I have to give as long as I keep breathing. And I hope that you can use it for the better to prevent you and/or your beloved to suffer as much from this disease as I have. Topics I certainly will address: anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, orthorexia, intestine issues, intolerances, fear, anxiety, what I eat in a day, panic attacks, urges, overeating, undereating, purging, medical help, hospitalisation, inpatient treatment, outpatient treatment, twelve step program, spirituality, Higher Power... and so much more! Subscribe and like not to miss out on anything.
get a nasal feeding tube and have the nurse come twice a day to do your feeds. then you can be responsible for relying on yourself for one meal a day--dinner. You can avoid the ED unit as it didn't work for you and work with a psycho therapist or go to support groups for ED while they do your feeds. Then as you get better you can get rid of tube and nurses.
You need a physician who specializes in anorexia, not only an endocrinologist or diabetes specialist alone. These blood glucose issues are common in a subset of anorexia patients, and can mimic that type of diabetes. High/Lows should not be a determining factor in diagnosis in these cases. It can be a part of the refeeding process and requires a different treatment approach. Keto and other diabetes dietary plans can make it worst. Lows are dangerous and should be treated the same. Hypers can be drestructive long term but at much higher levels, particularly when they remain elevated for very long periods of time (in diabetic patients).
Absolutely agree with you. I had never heard of Type 3 diabetes until watching Angelique’s content and part of me feels like the doctors just gave her that diagnosis to get her out the door.
And even if it is a rare form of diabetes, how can she be expected to know how to manage it on her own? The fact that the Dr. gave her this major diagnosis without scheduling follow ups or providing help for the underlying issue is insane to me. She needs a specialist immediately. What is going on in the Netherlands where there is no help for her??
The diabetes thing could just be her ED acting out, it’s very beneficial to have a ”diagnosis” to lean on, that way you can tell your brain that it’s infact a good thing to avoid carbs/different foods. We’re only getting one side of the story, and it’s not a healthy side.
Very true!
@@christineo7930 That’s true, I mean the huge fluctuation in blood sugar is definitely something that needs its own diagnosis. I’m just frustrated as hell with the lack of communication and guidance given the severity of the circumstances.
@@EmilyASMRchannel Diabetes clinical pharmacist here. Type 3C is a real thing. And it's hard as heck to manage. I've seen cases that could not be managed by the most experienced endocrinologists in my city. This is legit.
"there isn't help at all" "there is no care" you had help at Rotterdam but you ran away from it? Lique imagine there's a person very dehydrated, they're saying "I'm so thirsty could someone please help me please give me some water I'm so thirsty" and then someone says here's a whole pack of water bottles! Here's some water for you! And they refuse to drink the water and turn around and say "nobody will give me water, there's no help here , no water here" yet many people tried and they refused all the water anyone has ever given them. The ran away from any place with water. You have been in hospitals , many many hospitals , they tried to help but you refused to let anyone help you because it wasn't perfect enough. It's as if the dehydrated person refuses all water unless it's Fiji water , saying no one will help me there is no help, even though people tried to give them water it just wasn't Fiji water, then they die of dehydration because they refused all the water because no water was ever good enough. I truly really say this with so much love lique it's the truth you need to hear
And it's sad because I feel like people have tried to offer you all the different water, Dasani, aquafina , spring water, purified water, but none of it was ever Fiji and now there's no water left to offer and of course the hospitals don't wanna help anymore because if you tried so hard to make someone drink water and they kept refusing you would eventually give up , what's the point of offering them water again? I'd say you'd just have to accept the Dasani but you had the Dasani at Rotterdam but you ran away from it when it was the only water left (idk if these brands are just in America, but Dasani and Fiji here are brands of water) I guess I do hope and pray that another hospital will give you another chance at the Dasani and hopefully you have it in you to accept that drinking the Dasani is the only way to live and there just isn't gonna be any Fiji water, but it's better to drink tap water and live then to end up dying waiting for the Fiji that never comes. Putting it in another scenario like this so you could see it from the outside point of view might help but I truly am worried for you that no hospitals care to even try offering anything anymore but it's not really the hospitals to blame
i would rather dehydrate than drink dasani that water is nasty
Darn Lique, you must drink. Don't be picky! If you are thirsty enough, you will drink out of the bathroom faucet.
Some doctors can be so incredibly frustrating at times, we absolutely must advocate for ourselves and our health even when the fight seems relentless and exhausting. I wish it wasn’t this way, but you are so beyond deserving of the help that you need. Do not give up! We all love you so very much ❤ Thank you for all that you do, and for you being you. You are a truly beautiful sweet soul
I love the way you explain your thinking whilst you are in your eating disordered mind. I have not heard anyone try to explain this before and as a fellow sufferer, I commend you. Much love xxx
Thank you and welcome! 😘
Angelique- I understand the fears around eating.. especially in times of stress. I struggle too in different ways.. but I always tell myself, “if I don’t push myself now.. I will feel worse physically later”. Consistency is key .. I’m no expert by any means but sometimes if you just try harder a tiny bit at each meal or snack.. it adds up and is so helpful. Don’t be afraid.
Yes.. I really give it my all but will keep pushing! Thank you 🙏🏻😘
So glad to see you again! I enjoy listening to you talk even if there are no updates. I wish you peaceful and mery christmas!
Lique, Je hebt last van OVERDENKEN & OVERANALYSEREN. Dit betekent dat je verslaafd bent aan overdenken. Je hebt overdenkende OCS. De oplossing is koken en eten. Drie maaltijden per dag eten en afternoon tea met koekjes. Je maakt je leven te ingewikkeld. Koken en maaltijdplanning zijn een groot deel van het bestaan als mens.
I'm proud of you for hanging on and sharing your stories. Thank you.
She passed away
Just thinking about you this morning! I know everyone will be happy to hear from you.
I MISSED you. Thank you for sharing this smiles and tears in my heart for you
Thank you so much… ❤️❤️❤️
Your last upload was really frustrating for me and I told myself I could no longer watch but here I am again. With your long history with anorexia and strained family relationships I can't help but think your eating disorder is winning the war over you Lique. The moment you left the hospital I thought this is truly it, she won't make it. I know everyone is thinking how negative this woman is to speak in such a negative tone. You see I have been sick like Lique and I know much about healing and recovery and it has nothing to do with sunshine and lollipops. It has a lot to do with being direct, painfully honest and tough love. This disease is so conniving and manipulative. Think about it Lique cannot even walk yet she still struggles to accept the help given to her and chooses to leave the hospital because what the hospital was offering wasn't to her standards and liking. I know the proper 'eating disorder' program wasn't in place but staying in hospital would always be a better option than living alone with your self destructive disease. I am truly saddened by your situation and even more saddened that people are sending you money because this only ENABLES your disease more. PEOPLE Lique will NOT commit to getting help until she HITS ROCK BOTTOM, sending her money is NOT going to help her reach her ROCK BOTTOM. This is no different than giving an alcoholic money or a drug abuser, it's enabling. She cannot work because she is soooo SICK but if you keep giving her money she won't need to go to hospital. I am begging you guys to educate yourselves on this disease so you can really support HER and NOT her eating disorder!
it seems to me you're the one with the massive lack of knowledge here.. no only over this illness but also it's very obvious you're not really paying attention to the things she says in the first place... and by far the worst is the fact you're actually telling people they should not help her financially cause it's ''enabling her'' (?) how is sending money for medical help such as different medication and medical equipment enabling the disease? you need to either get some facts straight or take that passive-aggressive un educated attitude of yours somewhere else
@@Kao96.. you are free to donate and keep doing that, but you are not free to judge people that don't and their motives not to do so.
@@Kao96.. wrong I have been in therapy for 30 years and had anorexia nervosa for 20 years. I could write a book on the disease. I WANT her to succeed and SURVIVE more than any of you. The only difference is I know what it takes to survive because I am healthy and I have beaten this very conniving disease. You are completely misinterpreting my intentions. IF you DON'T give her money she will be forced to go to hospital, she CANNOT get well in outpatient therapy she it TOO sick. IT doesn't matter how much she wants it, the disease is TOO strong over her. In order for her to have any effective therapy she needs to be at a healthier weight, her mind is deprived of basic nutrition to function properly. IT takes all of her energy to make these videos.
I agree. Its the same with people who are hoarders as well. They say that's a mental illness as well. The ones who overcome it literally do so because of tough love and they finally start taking control and responsibly for their well being. Because there is no magic pill. Anorexia is just like that. I understand that the brain and body changes with anorexia but I still question whether it should be called a mental health disorder. Maybe that label is an enablement as well. While people can choose who to give support to with regards to money it pays to look at what you are truly supporting. I give financial support when needed but I have a strict criteria in that the person or organisation needs to show real forward movement over what I consider is a reasonable amount of time.
💯 I get slammed for saying the same .
Dear Angelique, I follow you since your first videos and I want to tell you that I'm sorry that there are so many people who misunderstand you, who make wrong assumptions and judgements without ever having walked a mile in your shoes. They think they know it all. I know how it hurts because I got judged a lot myself due to my chronic illness (no ED, but another very misunderstood disease). Most people always judge others even if they have no clue about the other person's life. Angelique I see you and I'll keep my fingers crossed that you get better soon and find people who can give you what you need. You're a precious soul and you're such a strong fighter! 🥰
WOW thank you for sharing about the function of our brain now I know. MERRY CHRISTMAS My dear friend.
Thank you dear! Wish you beautiful days too. 🎄🎁Are you celebrating?
You had help and you had care and you left the hospital. Not perfect, but better than being at home alone with your Ed mind. The fact that you were uncomfortable was exactly why you shouldn't have left. Next time, at all costs, do not leave.
Well I don’t really believe the type of “care” Lique had was appropriate for her condition. When you treat a specific illness, you have to aproach the mental side of the matter too, especially in this type of illness and if, for that you are being paid for and if you are not willing to do your job correctly and you arrive to work not giving a damn, then you should just quit it cause this is a vocational job and empathy for the pacient is a MUST.
@@mysteriousromania6121 I have lived through and suffered from anorexia for years, and have gone through treatment twice. I am now what I'd consider fully recovered. It took over a decade to really get there. Part of the issue is accepting help, regardless of what mental illness you have. Anorexia is egosyntonic, so it really requires letting go and relinquishing control. This is the key to recovery.
@@hamburgerbrain did the treatment help you? For me it didn't do anything
@@marjol3in yes, but like I said in my other comment, you have to accept the treatment and allow it to do something for you, too. There's no magic bullet. Mental health treatment relies on the patient's willingness to cooperate and want to change. I went to treatment two separate times because I relapsed ... But with the relapse, I was just never really recovered in the first place. I had to get myself there mentally and really let go.
@@hamburgerbrain true, but I suffer from multiple mental disorders and autism which makes treatment harder.
Wow, you succeeded for the first time in my life, in explaining to me the physiological cause and the resulting way of thinking of this condition. Really interested to hear more. You are special and I really hope you get through this disease successfully
Happy to hear that dear! 😘
You need to accept some responsibility, you got help and you left again. No treatment will be perfect, and none will be easy, it's hard to fight this disorder but you do have the power over this to recover. Of course it is not going to be easy and you'll want to leave because it's going against your ed and it's fighting back. But you can't keep leaving treatment and blaming them. You can't keep saying nobody will help you. They have tried and you had the choice fight with how hard it is and stay to hospital, or run and stay with the ed. Many people who follow also go through this illness and it's frustrating as hell honestly. Watching you get help then leave and complain and blame everyone but yourself for it not being good enough for you. Nothing is ever going to be perfect you just have to stick at it. Think about what you actually want. You don't have a choice in having the illness but yu do have the choice to fight it. I just hope you do it before it takes you
Can you please see a psychologist about your childhood. I would also recommend you to read gabor mate, and go to personaldevelopment school here on youtube. You can start your emotional healing process, without hospital❤ And any habit or need to control yourself in any unhealthy and sustainable way, is a way to feel safe and in control. It is destructive, yet it has provided you with the comfort you needed as a child. You need to understand that your disease is a survival strategy. I mean all your stomach issues that you had as a child, only tells me you never really felt safe. Give yourself the chance to help yourself as someone you are responsible for helping. You can do it.
Merry Christmas…congrats on making it to the end of this year despite your struggles..I hope you can enjoy the company of others at Christmas and feel some of the joy of the season…best wishes as always
Merry Christmas 😊 always remember , we are ALL thinking of you. You mean something to us and hugs and prayers for you and your health.
Thank you so much dear Jennifer 🙏🏻😘
I’m afraid the „Wash me but don‘t wet me!“ won‘t bring you further on your road to recovery.
I wish you all the best and the strength you need for getting better.
Thank you!
Thank you sooo much for your update, Angelique! I am so thankful your friend will be spending Christmas Day with you enjoying each other’s company and a good meal together. Here in the United States, most of the country will experience severe winter weather with blizzard conditions and unseasonably record setting low temperatures‼️ ❄️🌨☔️
Also, thank you for sharing all of that info about the human brain! I learned a lot by your sharing! I am a “left brained” artsy type of person yet I am also good with numbers, etc. 🤷♀️
I appreciate you quoting Andy Rooney. Yes, we learn the most in the valley or when attempting to climb the mountain. I have had severe health issues, both physical and emotional, but it is true ~ that is when I have learned and grown a LOT!
Have a blessed Christmas and many blessings in the New Year ahead!
♥️🎄♥️ Much Love to you from Kathryn in Louisville, Kentucky!
Thank you dear Kathryn 🙏🏻💖
What a very lucid explanation! I hope your Christmas plans are just as lovely as you describe. Take good care of yourself for us!❤
Thank you sweetheart! 💝
Saying prayers for all of you, who knows where we will be in 2023, wishing Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, wishing all of you good health.
Thank you Kathryn! 😘
Hi lique sad to hear that the hospital hasn't gotten back to. Your eye look so bright. I can see how hard your trying to stick to a meal plan. Hope you have very Merry Christmas. Hugs and prayers 🤗🤗🙏🙏
I am so happy to hear from you Angelique! .always sending you love from my heart.♥️🙋♀️🇱🇷...Veronika....you WILL recover and reach the top of the mountain..YOU WILL Angelique. ♥️♥️♥️
So good to see you my friend ❤ One day at a time is the best way - you can do this! I hope you have a good Christmas with your friend and if he is doing the cooking I pray he cooks you a wonderful meal to celebrate the reason for this season 💙 Small steady steps up this hill. Sending you my love and all my positive energy ❄️💙☃️🎅🏻🎄
So sweet of you! Thank you Lori 🥰
It is really hard to watch you slowly dying month by month. You talk the talk but don't walk the walk. Seems you're very lucky to still be alive. Quit leaving the hospital. Quit acting like you know more than the doctors, nurses, therapists and do what they tell you to do and be grateful. You might get a miracle and I hope you do.
I have been praying for you sweetie. I am just glad for an update and will keep praying.
Thank you so much Kellie! 🙏🏻😘
It was good to see you today. I’m glad you are still working on regaining your health♥️
💖
Lique you really are in the fight for your health!!! You have a very healthy diet, and yes seems quite balanced. What you are going through is no easy task!! Thankyou for staying strong, and doing your best to be positive. I think that your mental health is critical, and of course, most of all keep your faith sweetheart! ❤I love you, I am so happy your friend is coming for Christmas dinner& movies!!!!🤗❤️ I and so many others have come to love the genuine Kind soul that you are! MerryChristmas Lique, and hoping for a NewYear that brings healing to your body and your beautiful heart!!🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️
Thank you so much Kathy! Always happy to hear from you 🙂
Wishing you lots of love and beautiful days too 🎄💝😘
Hi, it was nice to hear from you and see you. Just keep hanging on. Hopefully the new year will bring you some news to help with getting better. Take care and thank you for updating us. Much love, Heather
Thank you dear Heather! 🙏🏻😘
Thanks for the update Lique. Wishing you all the very best for Christmas. 🤞🏻 for that hospital bed soon. Xxx
Thank you dear 😘
She speaks complete truth. Trying to get help as an anorexic is extremely hard. The criteria is insane. You can have a low bmi but good blood work and can’t be treated, you can have awful blood work but high bmi, no help. Nutritionists won’t assist you easily. You need to be underweight but not severely underweight because you become a risk, it’s ridiculous.
Yes, it is… 😔
So true
That wasn't my experience
@@hamburgerbrain that’s good. Hopefully more help becomes available.
@@hamburgerbrain good to hear. You're one of the lucky ones
I love that quote. Happy your still here!
I’m always so happy to see you. Much love from California.
Hello dear Angelique- always so good to see you. I have always felt that if I could have any “superpower”, I wouldn’t want the standard ones of invisibility or being able to fly -I would like to have the power to grant people’s wishes! Imagine the joy! So, in the spirit of Christmas, I grant you the ability to reach the top of the mountain! And, when you get there we will all be there cheering you on. I hope you have a lovely holiday with your friend and please keep taking good care of yourself. XO ❤🧗♀️
That is so sweet Karen… thank you! 💖
The brain information was so interesting. Thank you for educating us. Sending you love and a warm hug. ❤️🥰
Big hug back! 💖
"Overthinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind" - it's a lyric from a song by Tool. And I think it's true. Dear Lique, you seem to keep to struggle with your thoughts so incredibly hard and I understand why, because it's a lot. But rest. Rest and eat. And yes it's easy for me to say, I am well aware how an ED take up your whole mind and I don't mean to be rude, but I do see that, too. Not always, I see you want to get better for sure. But don't forget there is still the ED talking. I wish you good holidays and for 2023 I hope you will get the help you needed.
And yes I also agree that help for any ED sucks here in the Netherlands.
Thank you for your honest comment dear! 😘
Don't ever give up beautiful 🙏
I will continue praying for your journey into health. I will pray that you find the right professionals asap. God has got you in all capacity my love
Thank you… 😘
There have been some wonderful comments, as always. I have nothing more insightful to add than has been said already. I’m really glad to hear from you bc I was worried. Your Christmas plans sound lovely and I look forward to hearing from you again. Merry Christmas!
Thank you Barbara and wishing you lovely days as well! 🎄🎄
So happy you uploaded! I worried about you since you haven't posted in a while. Not to say you have an obligation to post regularly!! Just very happy to see you still pushing toward recovery despite the hardships. You inspire people more than you know ❤️
Thank you sweetheart! 🙏🏻 Big hug to you 💜
Good to see you Lique! I wish for you so much healing and joy. Sending you love and hugs 🥰
As usual it is great to see the change in you not only your appearance but also your mood/ perspective you seem to be doing all that you can keep it going especially when you feel like doing ( wrong) you will make it ❤️❤️❤️🎈🎉🎉🎉🎉🎈🎈🎈
Thank you Bridget 🙏🏻💜😘
Dont give up. Be strong! You can get better if you want to. You look way better than you did the last time I saw you. 👍🤗
Thank you dear 🙏🏻❤️
Praying for you. I hope your Christmas is happy.
Thank you! Wish you beautiful days too 🎄💖
I also have a really hard time at Christmas. Lots of bad memories and difficulties. This year I’m going to be away from most of my love ones just like you. I’m missing my family so much. A lot of people with EDs are actually highly intelligent people with type A personality. I so understood you explain addiction and EDs because that’s exactly how my brain works as well. You explained it so well.I’ll be thinking of you. Merry Christmas!🎁🎄
Thank you sweetheart! Will be thinking of you too 🙏🏻😘
Stay strong stay positive you got this kiddo proud of you keep fighting keep going sending luck hugs prayers most of all love from UK x
Thank you dear 🙂💖😘
The only way how they avoid hypo/hyperglycemia (even without diabetes) on a sugary formula diet is continuous feeding.
Another quote from the book “Sick Enough” by J. Gaudiani:
“When a hospitalized patient does receive a nasogastric feeding tube, low fiber tube feeds should be used. Round the clock caloric provision diminishes the risk of hypoglycemia and reduces the volume per hour that is introduced into the stomach.” ***** But this causes a number of other health issues, like SIBO, which is treated with antibiotics. Allopathic treatments always result in chain of adverse side effects and create new conditions, which require new drugs.
Hello Angelique!!! I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas!!! I know it won't be with your friends/family, but I hope you are able to have a wonderful weekend anyway!! You are loved!!!! Happy New Year!!!
Thank you so much dear! 💝
Hi! Sorry i missed this and even now my net problem is preventing me from watching it right through...but i must say this, i feel every word of your struggle and am rooting for you to win through. Stay strong snd commited.
Merry Christmas Angelique! You are in my heart and on my mind today! Sending Love and Light ❤✨❤
Fijn om je te zien lieve Angelique.
Ondanks alles wens ik je een fijne Kerst.
♥️♥️♥️
Dankjewel! Wens jou ook mooie dagen 🎄💖
I have been thinking and praying that you have been OK. As I haven't seen a video from you . Wishing you as good of a Christmas as possible . X
Thank you Elizabeth!
That is so crazy the hospital won't take you and the ED clinic won't take you either. I hope you can get answers ASAP. That aggrevates me for you. Keep doing and trying your best tho. Do not give up hope. We are rooting for you. Hope you have a nice Christmas. ❤️💚
It really doesn’t matter if they take her Bc she will leave thme anyway .just like all the other times .
Please get better. Love sent your way ❤
hello im happy you are here sharing wiht us again, missed you...i jsut want to bless you merry and blessed christmas in good mood and smile at face and much better new year then this one ..God bless u♥
Thank you dear! Very sweet 💖
Blessings to you too! 🙏🏻😘
Thank you for your sweetness and wisdom. I think you are very intelligent and insightful. I wish you a wonderful Christmas and New Year. May you be blessed with Peace and Light and excellent health. You are a brave soul. xxx 😘🥳🎅❤️
Thank you dear Katie! Very sweet of you 💝
Wishing you beautiful days too 🎄😘
It was so good to hear from you. I know it's a hard time of the year, but I wish you a very Merry Christmas. *big, big hugs* Much love, dear. You're always in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you sweetheart… 🙏🏻😘
Good to see you Lique! I hope you'll try to start adding more calories and helping yourself. That you can do! I know it's hard but it is possible. There is a way to recover no matter what. You have to be so strong and brave. Sending love and support to you. 🥰❤💕💕💕
🌼☀️🎗💛 sending you good luck and positivity. you’re in my thoughts, you have come so far. you are an inspiration to me, when things go wrong you handle it with a fighting spirit. i want to be like that! please hold on just a bit longer, 2022 will be over soon and 2023 will bring a new beginning. wishing you happy holidays ⭐️
Thank you so much Lydia! 🙏🏻😘
@@liquefaith merry Christmas! 🎄
Dear Lique, many people here with many different opinions and suggestions....that doesn't make it better for you at the moment. I will keep on praying for you to find your own best way....and to get the right help so you can heal and be healthy as soon as possible. Know that I will never give up on you. I wish you a wonderful Christmas and all the best for the coming year. Keep us updated...but your health comes first ❤️❤️❤️❤️🌲☃️🌟
So sweet of you Susanne, thank you… 😘
Hello again dear beautiful soul Lique 🌹🌹🙏🙏🌷🌷So lovely to see that you keep going and trying to make your day better. Very inspiring, very courageous. I hope you will get your bed in the hospital soon 🍀🍀💞💞and you will!
Thank you so much Kat! 😘
@@liquefaith 🌹☺️
So happy to see you again. How frustrating about the hospital situation! Your talk about the brain was super interesting, thanks. Wishing you a happy Christmas anyway too ❤
💜
So lovely to see you again Lique ❤️Thank you for posting. I am pleased that you have a friend to share Xmas with you xx
Thank you Karen 🙏🏻❤️
Youre fighting so hard, I am so sorry you are going through this. You are fucking remarkable!
Hey hey xx Staying the same as you are and keeping up with your food plan is enough right now! You will hear from the hospital, and when they can take you they will help you recover. All you have to do right now is not get worse, and you're doing that! Btw Christmas has also been hard for me due to my past, I totally get it. I try to find my own things to enjoy about it now, like carols and movies haha. And Jesus! Hang in there Angelique 💕🙏💪
Thank you… This is indeed what I can manage and will give it my all. Hug and blessings to you too dear! 😘
All you need right now is to gain weight or you won't make it. It is as simple as that. You will not be able to do this at home. I can ser you are loosing weight. It does not matter how much you know about this or that, if your doctor or nurse are doing things "wrong", they do not have anorexia, you do. Sorry for being hard on you but you are dying in front of our eyes and I can not say what you wish to hear.
I know…
@@liquefaith "You know" and yet you keep doing only the wrong things. People like you, 'HungryFatchick' and all the others with a sick eating (or non - eating) behaviour should be perm - banned from RUclips with immediate effect.
@@floriansailer7887 hi dear! Than I wonder what you are doing here? 🙄
I hope you have a great Christmas. Sending hugs🖤
Sending love from your friend in the USA 🇺🇸
Merry Xmas wish you the best of health!, hope you get better!.🎄🎀🎁
I’ve been worried about you. I’m glad that you’re okay. Happy Holidays to you and continued prayers! I think that you need to see an endocrinologist or a diabetic specialist for your specific case. I’m glad that you’ll be seeing your friend for Christmas. Christmas is hard for a lot of people….including me. Seeing your videos and positive progression towards your illness makes me happy. 😊
Thank you dear 🙏🏻😘
One foot in front of the other. Praying for you, sweet girl. I hope you have a Merry Christmas! ❤️
❤️
Lique, You suffer from OVER THINKING & OVER ANALYZING. Meaning you are addicted to over thinking. You have over thinking OCD. The Solution is cooking and eating. Eating three meals a day and afternoon tea with cookies. You are making your life over complicated. Cooking and Meal Planning are a Big Part of existing as a Human.
Absolutely. Therapy, education, knowledge seeking etc is so important but you cannot think yourself away from the grave when you’re on the brink, you have to eat yourself well enough to survive long enough to do the hard mental work. Too much thinking, not enough doing. It’s tragic and so hard to watch.
So good to see you - and so well said about the two sides of our brain in an illness like this. There are physicians who went to medical school who battle with addictions and disordered thinking for whom the rational "I know what to do" side of their rational, educated thinking can't always override the faulty-reasoning or harmful behaviours of their illness. I knew a surgeon who operated on a very famous person who died of lung cancer - then went on a smoke break! Being aware of an ED or distorted thinking, though, is really helpful because in the long run it can help you make voluntary decisions that are healthier. It might seem like the ED brain gets to call all the shots (like, "oh I better not eat right now because if I do I might eat too much...") but in time you can train your rational mind to make decisions that override what the scared/fearful parts of the brain want to do and the brain itself can change and heal. I hope you have an amazing Christmas break!! (((HUGS))) 🎄🎄❄❄💗💗
Thank you dear! I can relate indeed… wishing you beautiful days too! 🎄🎁💝😘
It’s not unhealthy to gain weight fast, The longer you are unhealthy the more unhealthy.
Remember that if you restrict you won’t be able to think clearly and it will be harder to eat but when you eat enough consistently it will get easier not harder. Lots of love.
I do get that… but wasn’t able to do so yet…
@@liquefaith it is only a belief that is holding you back. The belief that you can’t because of this diagnosis. You can because you are not the diagnosis. 💛
It’s really unfortunate that there isn’t much help when severely underweight. However let it motivate you knowing as you get to a more healthy bmi there will be much more support. Take it day by day helping yourself and more help will come. Fight with faith ❤
Relieved to see an upload from you hearing. I have been worried. Good for you to have plans for Christmas and t try to make the best of the situation and enjoy your day as much as possible. It's hard when you have trauma and are also ill with your Eating disorder. Bless you
I think in some ways just allowing the medical situation to work itself out and give into it and not keep chasing and chasing because it's exhausting and futile. It's making you feel even more stressed out and upset.
Focus on what you CAN do for yourself to keep yourself well as possible and use your knowledge (you are very well learned) an understand more than most about what is happening. The second to last time I was in hospital one of the nurses told me to let go of the control and let God and Jesus be my guides. Put my trust and faith in them as they have the ultimate control. It was such a relief to me...., And brought me peace.
Keep going Angelique and do what you can. You have a lot of fight and determination and this will help carry you through.. I just know it because I am the same. We have goals and we can reach them💪💗🌈xx sending you love and light especially over Christmas 🙏🌲✨
That is a beautiful and wise comment dear… thank you… 🙏🏻
Blessings and BIG hug to you too! 💝😘
@@liquefaith ❤️❤️❤️
I think I was in a similar state as you, although my illness wasn’t that long-lasting. What it took me to survive was throwing all my old “rational” eating rules and any eating etiquette into the garbage bin. For long periods I was eating non-stop almost my entire wake time, in order to be able to get enough calories, drinking only early in the morning and late at night. In the first time time of my inpatient stay when I was bedridden from starvation, I had to hide my food under the blanket, because they would take anything away what I didn’t finish in 30 minutes. They don’t understand that your digestion for many reasons (gastroparesis…) can become so weak that you struggle to eat even the smallest amounts (without any fear of weight gain).
So happy to hear you got through it!!!
Wishing you a great merry Christmas and Happy New Year wishing you well big hugs bob carpenter cleveland ohio USA ....🙏
Thank you dear Bob! Wishing you beautiful days too 🎄😘
Merry Xmas Champ.!!!!! Love You ❤️
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Beautiful Angelique! Thank you for this update! ❤️ Good explonation on how anorexia disturb the brain, really scary I must say. You are so brave, I am hopeful and praying for a hospital bed soon! Don't lose hope! 🤗 Easy for me to say.... I have a question for you: what about your books? Are you 'working' to fulfill a book, or thinking of doing it? May be having ideas to write more when your health change to the better. Having something planning into a better future, I hope can stimulate positive moments allready, giving a reason to survive this horrible trauma in your life? 👍 Sending hugs and my warmest thaughts. Your 'sis' Grete. 🎄🎄❤️❤️👍👍
Hi dear Grete! Happy to hear from you 🙂
Yes, I would love to finish my books… and will do another Q&A soon to focus on fun stuff 👍🏻 Big hug to you! ❤️😘
Hugs my dear first of all I love that quote it’s so true second I totally get sum of those feelings u feel I can relate so much love u dear kno that your in my daily prayers hugs ❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much… big hug and blessings to you too! 🙏🏻💖
Thank you, so helpful.
Sending you love and strength as you make your ascent.
It's good to see you! Sorry the hospital is not being helpful.
Lyith I hope you have a.blessed Christmas I hope you can find a doctor to help you I'm glad you have someone to spend the holidays with you love and hugs from Georgia 🙏🙏☃️☃️❤️❤️
Thank you Marcella! Wishing you beautiful days too 🎄💝😘
Another quote from the book “Sick Enough” by J. Gaudiani:
“Insulin levels start out very low during caloric restriction because insufficient carbohydrates are being consumed. When patients begin to eat more, insulin levels shoot up in order to drive life-saving glucose into hungry cells. Insulin also pushes electrolytes into cells, particularly phosphorus. This makes sense as phosphorus is one of the key electrolytes in cellular respiration, the process by which cells take in nutrients and turn them into energy to fuel the cell’s function. With phosphorus moving out of the bloodstream into cells, and also being used as cells become more energetic again, the blood levels of phosphorus can drop. High insulin levels can also cause the kidneys to retain salt and water, rather than excreting those as usual. As a result, fluid retention called edema can develop from the toes all the way up to the lungs.” *** They conveniently hide the fact that on a low carb-diet Refeeding syndrome cannot occur.
So glad to see you🙏 keep going.
Christmas greetings from a hot and sunny Australia.
I know everyone is telling you how to eat, what to eat and it must get tiring. But like you I have some knowledge in this area. If you just maintain, you are still in danger. Please add another duplicate main meal into your meal plan. You know you can cope with eating what is on your meal plan now. So adding another big meal of the same type will not cause any more digestive issues and give you 50% more calories. Please seriously consider this advice, as it was given with thoughtfulness, knowledge, love and from a non- starving brain!
Love from Constance 💕🙏🎄🎁
Thank you for this advice Contance! And wishing you lovely days too 🎄😘
What helps for me when I am going through intense fear, is to label my fear. And also binging is a natural consequense of not having enough. So if you binge, remind yourself it is your body wanting to live. You will be ok, and you will not become fat over night, and you might lose control momentarily. We all do. Even professional athletes binge chocolate etc at times.
sometimes it is okay to let go of control. I normally eat quite normal, yet sometimes I will sit infront of the tv and have a bag of chips and some chocolate all alone. And I do not get fat from it, nor do I lose control for the rest of my life either. It is just sometimes you eat more then other times. And it all balances out with the days I might eat too little. some days I am busy with work, my dog and hanging out with friends and then I eat less then I need. And by living a life with ups and downs it will always be like that.
You know whenever you decide to change your life, it will be a bit out of control, because you never done anything that exact way before. and what might be helpful is saying to yourself I know this is scary, and at the same time I will be okay, I am about to learn how to be okay with a new life.
The ocean and the soil and the mountains has a bit of chaos to them as well, and they still exist and the world is still out there. I am safe, I am part of this craziness and I can let go of control, and just see what happens, as I am part of the world, the earth and the water, so the ebbs and flow is part of me, and I am going to fluctuate in tact with the world, and I am going to be like the ocean, partially controlled by the wind, the moon and somewhat the earth quakes, and I do not always know what is happening, and that is okay to, I will adapt, and I will let go of the control, as I cannot control the earth quakes, I cannot control the moon nor can I control the winds. Do you ever see the ocean try to take control? It is still there, polluted by the world and controlled by external factors. but it is still there doing ocean stuff and being the home of many beautiful organisms.
You are getting triggered by stress, let it go... You cannot control the stress, observe it go through your body and your mind and take a moment to say:
I am not sure how to deal with it, but I know it will pass, it always do. And I know it is temporary, and say I will be okay, and one day I will look back at these moments, and I will be happy I faced one anxiety attack at a time, and just lived through them, and could see that I was okay to go through them.
As you heal emotionally, you will notice that they come less frequent, and you will not feel as wired and anxious all the time.
when I cured my anxiety, I sometimes got a bit stressed about not being anxious, so I would wire myself up from time to time, just to feel anxious again, as the alertness I felt while being anxious gave me a sense of control. Like when flying, I started getting really scared of it, and through dealing with my fear I decided to fly more often. And I would of course still wire myself up about a week before I went, once I realized it I said to myself: I am apparantly still scared, and I do not like it, but seems like I need to dial down on stressful things, like watching scary movies. Yes I would watch scary movies and pay attention to war things and other scary things, simply to wire myself up, as it felt safe somehow. Crazy huh? No instead I go to flightradar24 and I see at all the planes in the air, and I think to myself: there are so many planes in the air, and almost no crashes, so why would exactly my plane crash? And it calms me down. And last time I flew, I was still anxious, but for each time I fly I get a lower intensity of my anxiety, and I learn something about my sneaky way of wiring myself up for each time I fly, my brain is sometimes like a mix of a ninja and a toddler. But learing as I go, and actually just laugh at how weird this is and seeing that I learn something for every flight, gives me hope that one day I can fly without any fear at all. I must still say, that getting on the plane and the takeoff and the turbulence is still something I fear. On a scale from 1 to 10, I would say that it has gone from a 8 to a 4, and I guess I need another 5 flights to get to a 3, if I fly regularly. If I dont fly regularly, I need more.
I think throughout your healing, you will need to try to move through your anxiety, and praise yourself each time you manage to let yourself eat, and not let your fear stop you. I think the best thing is to count all the days you did succeed, and over time you can look back at those days, and see how much you improve. Some days and weeks will be harder, so you might have less progress, and it will not be a linear journey, it will be in waves, just like the ocean. take a look at your internal ninjas and toddlers as I like to call them, how can you equllibrate them?, not remove them (they cant be removed), I am not sure why, but fear is real, life is dangerous, but by comforting the scared part of you, and supporting the curiousity, funloving and dreams in you, your fears will become less intense. dont hate your ninjas and toddlers, they are there to protect you, but sometimes they get more space then they can handle, they are not that intelligent you know?
and even when you binge eat, say to yourself: I will gain normal control over time. right now I am new to this, and once I can fill my life with more time with friends and activities again, I will have a richer life, and I can have support on a daily basis. And you will have normal food control in your life. Right now the thoughts of food controls your life, when you have more friends, activities and things to do, you will not even think to much of it. Whatever calms you down, as nothing bad is likely to occur over 500grams of chocolate. I sometimes eat that much in one go, and I am fine, and I am not fat, I am still looking pretty and I am still feeling good the next day(right after eating that much chocolate? I am feeling a bit disgusted, and quite happy and a bit food coma, and whether it is good feelings or bad feelings, they all pass eventually). I would say my negative feelings after on a scale from 1 to 10 is 2, and my positive feelings is: 7. And I will not shame myself over it(I did as a teen, and it was horrible..). sometimes it is all I have got to comfort myself with that exact day, or I ate too little that entire week, and my body is like: Eat or I will not let you feel motivated for yoga tomorrow, and I will not let you sleep well, and I will crave too much coffee, and I will make you stressed over small petty things, and I will fight with your boyfriend, and I will call your boss ugly names..... So I go, Okay, I get it. Let us just realize that this week was stressful, I did not have proper dinner most days, and say something like: sorry body, I really did not consider your needs, so I understand that you are a bit upset, and screaming out like a 4 year old in the candyshop.
The fact you posted IS THE UPDATE...... 👌🏻🌹
Fantastic information in this video. Some months ago I started to watch you while I had covid, and interestingly it also destroyed my ability to feel hunger and I also didn't know when it was enough to eat. So I was thinking there must be much more to the problem of anorexia than just a psychological problem - but I'm not a doctor. I hope understanding more about anorexia can help so many people. This (self-)devaluation for this illness needs to come to an end. I hope the ability of the body to deal with glucose can be restored, hopefully by building more muscles again. They play an important part in storing it. Keep going :)
It seems my comment from a while ago has been removed! This is awful. Did RUclips do that? Oh well. I'll try again. I had commented that you are a beautiful person and an inspiration to all of us who have serious health problems And my quote of the day is "The world is a better place because you live in it". Have a blessed Christmas and hope to hear from you again soon. Love you much.
I do see this comment luckily! 👍🏻 love your quote too 🙂 And a big hug back sweetheart 💜💜😘
I pray 🙏 that you get a bed in the hospital soon. By the way, you’re looking so good despite it all 🤗. Stay well & safe. BIG hug from Hawaii 🌈 🌺 🥰. Have a Merry Christmas 🎄 and a bright New Year!
Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas) & Hau'oli Makahiki Hou (Happy New Year)❣️ 🏝️.
Thank you so much dear! 💜💜💜
Thank you for explaining how your mind thinks…when it comes to hunger/food. It has open my mind into understanding what people with eating disorders maybe thinking. I enjoy knowledge. 🎄🌈🌺
Hello Angelique...I've been thinking about you...sending love and hugs to you always..♥️♥️♥️🙋♀️🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷...Veronika
So happy to hear from you Veronika! Wishing you wonderful days too dear 🎄🎁💖
I think of you everyday Angelique...♥️🎄🇱🇷🙋♀️..VROLIJK KERSTFEEST!
Praying for your good health, Merry Christmas ❤
Thank you… 🙏🏻😘
Angelique,
Hey girl! How are you? So good to see you again, it really has been a while! I kept checking in on you to see if there were any updates, but figured you must’ve been working to find some personal stability right now, some kind of “normal” that suits you. You take all the time you need, we will always be here for ya ❤️
You said it perfectly, about how there is care, just not for you. OHHH how I understand this! Took the words right from my mouth! I too am the oddball patient who doesn’t fit nice and neat within the protocol box. This leads me to point out that there IS, in fact, care for us - it’s just that no one can-or wants to-go outside of that box. No one seems open-minded enough to do so. If care in the Netherlands is like it is here in the US, it prioritizes money over patients. Patients are disposable here-our hopes, our dreams, our chance at living a full life of quality, is meaningless to these people. It’s more survival of the fittest type thing. “You aren’t well? Too bad.”
Ugh, really frustrating. I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time with your diabetes 😢 I would love to offer some help with this, but honestly, I have no idea how to manage. I’ve been struggling a bit too with mild hypers, not very high at all, but still too high for what is normal. I will drink plenty of cool water to see if that helps balance it a bit, and it does seem to help (?) but honestly I’m clueless 😬 My heart goes out to you 💕
You’re so intelligent and well-spoken 😃 I’ve said this to you plenty of times, just saying it again :)
I know how it feels to struggle during the holidays. Is it something you would feel comfortable talking about with us? If so, please do. There’s a kind of unspoken pressure to have the best holiday possible, everyone is always discussing their plans, and you experience FOMO (fear of missing out), etc. It’s exhausting. My thought is to just have the nicest day you can, make the best of whatever situation you’re in, and don’t compare your day to the celebrations of others :) It sounds like this is exactly what you will be doing. I’m thrilled you’ll have good company🎄
I was at the doctor yesterday. He seems certain that I won’t require surgery on my back, which is just really the best news I could’ve received, my Christmas present!! I hobbled into one of my favorite shops to browse around, and bought some new journals. It’s been ages since I’ve done something non-medical, felt good to just be in the crisp air with others enjoying the holiday atmosphere. It wasn’t easy, at times, to walk. It made for some discomfort, in public, which can be quite isolating. But I’m tired of my struggle controlling me. So I struggled my way to Happy. Everyone else around me is either with me (example: nice man who smiled at me on the way out of the shop), or they’re not (impatient woman who nearly knocked me down trying to reach a shelf). ☺️
Take care, friend. January is sooo close!!
Brandi 💜
Congratulations with your huge present!! I am SO happy for you!! And WOW for buying the journals and be in that store for NON MEDICAL reasons… what a gift 🎁💝
Stay in the day and take it one day at the time indeed. Wheather it is a holiday or regular day. Every day that we are alive has something to celebrate 🙂💖
Big hug to you Brandi!! ❤️
@@liquefaith❤️❤️❤️ Hug hug 💕
My heart goes out to you 😊
So sorry to hear about the run around dear❤💔🙏🎄
This is a quote from the book “Sick Enough” by J. Gaudiani:
“Two, high blood sugar acts like sandpaper on the most delicate blood vessels in the body, known as the microvasculature. These include blood vessels in the brain, heart, healing tissue, kidneys, nerves, and eyes. Over time, constant “sanding” results in damage, which explains why patients with chronically uncontrolled diabetes are at risk for strokes, heart attacks, foot ulcers that don’t heal and may contribute to the need for amputation, kidney failure, nerve pain, autonomic dysfunction including gastroparesis, and blindness.”