My In-laws Don't Treat Me Like Family | Paul Friedman
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- Are you having issues with your in-laws and they don't treat you like family? Watch Paul gives you tips on this problem that happens on both sides, men and women. This is a problem and a lot of people don't ask the question. They just eat it.
A lot of times it's a failure within your spouse's parents' marriage to begin with. They don't treat each other like family. You got to get out of this space of woe-is-me and look objectively and see if that's what's really going on. In most cases, that's the problem. They don't treat each other with the love, the respect that you want to have in your family. In your family hopefully, your family is tight, lot of love, lot of mutual respect. You make it a point to feed into the very foundation of your marriage which is love and happiness and you do that on a continual basis and never take away from that with anger or criticism or any of the other killers of marriage.
Hopefully, you're working in your marriage in a way that it's phenomenal and you can't even believe how wonderful your marriage is. And if it's not that way, you need to read one of my books or take one of the courses so you could get your marriage like that and that way this other problem with the in-laws is just a little fringe problem that you have.
Once you've done that that's first then you take a look at their marriage and you look past the
facade and you see, is their true respect? Is their true love? And if not, stay away don't care just interact with them superficially as best you can, always giving them love, giving them respect and not worrying about it. Now, the other big reason is because they're defensive. They don't know how to behave in front of you and so they're distant, cold, even mean. You can't do anything about that. You treat them with love, respect and you practice the bowling ball technique that if they throw something at you you be a feather and the bowling ball comes and you're not affected by it. Don't let them get to you.
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I’ve been scouring the internet for an answer to my situation and this is the only thing I’ve found that has truly hit the spot. Thank you for sharing, it has been boundlessly helpful
I am glad I could help
This wasn’t much of an issue in our family until we had a baby. How can you create a health boundary without alienating them from our kid.
Only love will heal the wounds
Great question. He didn’t really provide a detailed answer
@@takotadarling4159 because the answer would be multiple, differing essays, that would somehow still fail to address her personal issue. My son was disowned by his grandmother(my ex's mother) all because of not accepting the love I shared with her daughter. 7 years later she shows him love and affection, which does annoy me seeing as she owes all of us an apology for mistreating my mild mannered, bright child. Love and forgiveness were the only ways thru to give grandma a chance to be one. Good luck and god bless.
U can’t how can u trust them knowing they don’t like you if the family don’t like you they don’t like ur kid etheir.
@@RoseArmstrong-sk2he Say that! My in-laws aren't allowed around my kids, period!!
I can only take so much rejection, I can understand not being invited to everything but never? That’s on purpose
Sometimes we get karma from some forgotten acts and sometimes we just need to change ourselves to be more loving
Welcome to the club. My inlaws withheld the death of a brother inlaw who'd been dead a week before I knew he passed , and of course, after the service was over because that was the purpose to keep me from attending his funeral.
You know you don't let this dispicable behavior get to you.
Because that's what they want.
I see the issue is with the daughter in-laws or sister in-law more than the son in-laws..
The egotistical ways never ends for women hood…
or people-hood
I'm get that same impression. I've made it easy for myself by giving my husband and his family their space after the greetings and such and when they "want to talk." It's just exactly what he said... I'm cordial, give respect and then get out of the way and/or go on about my way or business.
Because the assumption is that women are joining the new family not the man
Thank you for this ❤️ my in laws treated me horrible. I’m trying to put a healthy boundary with them .
Dont bother keep ur distance it’s not worth it u don’t need to lower yourself for them nobody .love yourself enough to say no walk away .
This is eye opening .. thanks for this
Thank you for your advice it helps a lot .I do struggle with my boyfriend family for years and I just want to move on.
Thank you so much. Your advice relieved my stress. I come from a very loving and accepting family so my partner feels so loved and cared for. My situation is quite the opposite. One in law is different and cold and same goes for he children. I wish things were different but what can you do. I wish them well, I’m always smiling even when I feel hurt by them. Be loving even though others aren’t. God bless.❤
❤
We have to be the bigger person. It is easier said than done. Once you accomplish, you will surprise yourself. It feels DAMN good to not feed into negative energy. Your maturity will not go unnoticed. Be happy and smile because we have our happy lives to live with our partner.
Just today I learned, that when the women in my family (in-laws) had their baby shower for one of my wife’s brother and his wife…. The rest of the guys (my wife’s two brothers, her dad, and the other brother in law) all went golfing. I wasn’t invited (me being the only other brother in law). I WAS asked a day prior to watch one of their 2 year olds. I wasn’t entirely certain why I was asked to watch the 2 year old. But it was all made clear today the reason: because while all of the women were at the baby shower the men would be golfing. All of the men aside from me. I haven’t felt this low in a long time.
The only one who has to like you is your wife. From what you write it sounds like she may have protected you from being hurt. Never allow yourself to be hurt by external stuff.
How to make your marital life happy if Husband is not focused on it rather than he is focused his family esp his Mom
You have the power to make your marriage a blessing for you both, Use the course for women themarriagefoundation.org/reviews/
Thank you. This was perfect. So helpful and just in the nick of time since I have an event this weekend.
Thank you so much for this. God bless you.
Thank you so much. So so valuable sir. You are a blessing to more than just me. I’m sure of it!
Why so few likes for such a valuable content ? You are doing a commendable job, Hat's off to you Sir
Thank youuuu
Spot on, thank you so much
I disagree. Anything worth doing takes hard work and effort. Marriage is hard work. All relationships take work. It won’t always be amazing but that’s the beauty of marriage. It’s two imperfect people loving each other enough to invest into something worthwhile. You will never be happy if you think marriage will always be amazing. That’s why the divorce rate is so high! People just give up the minute it things get hard.
Maybe you should reconsider, based on our experience marriage is amazing and not work when you know whaat you are doing
This all sounds familiar my ex in-laws are bad so bad my ex husband who I've was married to for 27 yes passed away a few days ago they let me know right off the bat I wasn't going to draw nothing when u turn 60 years old it was a family business he ran for them when we were married they said they was going to collect his social surcurity themselves now how can a employer do that when he paid into the system I never remarried this to me is another level of greediness I don't understand can y guys
Get a lawyer. We will pray for you all but you need legal advice and to also work on self growth
Thank you.
What should I do if my husband wants to visit his parents weekly and I don't feel comfortable in his parents' house? Although I express my feelings to him, he still is not respectful of them and gives me the silent treatment or makes me regret not going....
He always wants to plan family holidays with them etc but I am not comfortable to be spending time with them.
How do I do the work to process my feelings so that I am not caught in this hamster wheel. Many a times I just wanna leave my marriage because of the mental stress....
The only true feeling is love, you are making too much of your emotions and trusting your mind over your heart. God put you into this and every situation to challenge you to become angelic, not to complain inwardly or outwardly. Become your inlaws' "daughter" and love them, accept them, and open yyour heart more to your husband.
omg this was so eye-opening
BS give them love!!! Stay away far away from
If you cannot love them up close then love them from afar, but the love you give is what you live within themarriagefoundation.org/reviews/
Sad but true😢
Thank you!!!!
Thank you I needed to hear this.
Love is always the guiding principle for truly good and useful advice, isn't it so.