How To Protect Your Marriage From Narcissistic Siblings, In-laws and Friends.
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:
Narcissistic abuse looks like:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
Get Help:
Work with The Royal We to get the tools to understand and process your experiences. Visit - www.jointheroyalwe.com
Establish No Contact or Low Contact:
Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:
Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:
Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:
Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
Connect with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Join The Royal We Support Group - theroyalwe.kar...
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Their insane jealousy will lead them to try and sabotage you and your marriage. They will crap-talk about you to your partner behind your back. Stay away, keep them away.
Absolutely right 👍
Exactly. My perspective sister-in-law has sent negative pictures of me to her brother which I have seen. Why would I want anything to do with their family. Although I do like his other siblings.
1000% right. Skip alll the advice and keep these blood suckers away. Completely AWAY
After learning about narcissism ,, I can identify many people who portray these signs ,,it’s like I’ve gained a radar !,,,
Like wise !!!! I'm free now because i choose whom to let have access with me frankly speaking !!!! Igrew up in a religious and noble family i was taught to be nice no matter what we should love one another , as i grew older i discovered that being a people pleaser perhaps it's good but not all the time !!!!!! I don't know the key to success but the key to failure is try to please everyone !!!! Don't get me wrong i love people with all my heart i as grew older i have learn tp love people from a distance because i dont know what they're doing behind close doors or behind the scene ....im indeed in love with myself .....yall gotta becareful over ther ...i wish y'all good luck ...take care
If it's your in laws, you're screwed because most times people who come from this type of family don't see it or won't see it
Best video ever. I survived narcissistic inlaws. Kevin’s video highlights some of the mistakes I made. Get counseling sooner rather than later!!! Do not gripe about in-laws to your spouse. Do not let in-laws know about your marital issues. Limit your contact. They will expect you to spend every holiday with them. Controlling. This video. Do this or don’t complain. I can’t understate this. I’ve waited for a video on narcissistic in laws. This is it.
This advice requires your spouse to not be in the fog. If they are in the fog doesn't matter how much counselling you get, they will not see the Dysfunction and in fact will be hell bent on continuing the cycle. When you are dealing with narcissistic in laws remember that especially if they raised your spouse they have them indoctrinated. Unless your spouse sees the abuse you will become the black sheep and be attacked by them all including your spouse no matter how nicely you play. Literally all you have to do is set boundaries and say no and if your spouse just doesn't see it then it's over. Your over simplifying something that's very complicated and complex
@@mimi42428 Yup
What if my husband is totally in love with his sisters and mum who have all verbally abused me but still to this day 24yrs later, I have to go on another holiday that they organised and my husband is going and I am expected to be there. If I don't comply, I will lose him or have his screaming at me. It has made me so sick cause as much as I cry out for him to understand, he won't see it, cause his family are everything to him. He also after 24yrs controls everything in my life, good and bad. Financially mentally but spiritually only I have God, cause he is not a believer in any God. I need a break but I'm so scared cause he holds the keys to my survival.
I don't want for anything materialistic but I feel like he is having an affair with his inlaws, not literally, but it's this little other family that he is tied to. No one can understand. They are narcissistic but I'm not here to judge and we all have traits in us but it's always up to me to get help when all I'm asking is that his sisters communicate their plans with me so I'm not told to be on stand by every minute. I've asked him to take me away but even then he takes pictures and videos and sends them to his "gang" which is a what's up group they formed. I've been invited on, but I'm a private person and don't want my whole life recorded. But now he records it but excludes me and even though I'm with him and our boys he will send stuff just with him and the boys. I'm at my wits end. They arrive today again for a few night and my mouth is shut as I have no say, and if I say I've just finished a holiday and need time to organise my business and house and don't want visitors just yet, I'm being a nasty dragon. They are killing me even though its with " nice things" like holidays etc, I'm trying to get my base sorted without being dragged all over the place, 2 weeks then my other sister, then another trip that they organised. I know I sound like a spoilt brat but it's much deeper than that. Who did I marry, him or his family who are toxic interfering narcissistic people. I don't want to lose him but I'm desperate.
Thank you 🙏🏼
I wish I knew earlier about narcissistic people. Thank you!
🧡
@@TheRoyalWe ❤️❤️
Don’t we all!! 🤗
Amen to that ❤
Amen for this video! 🙏🙌 We used to have alot of social events at our home. I’m an empath and always was trying to be kind and bring people together, then I woke up and said enough. My marriage is the most important thing. Now we go out, but we no longer have my sister, mother, family and a lot of friends over anymore. They aren’t even happy for us like we are for them, as there would be things done and/or comments made on the sly about my husband or myself to our faces in our own home! The peace we have in our home is so wonderful! God makes it clear in the Bible to keep no contact with these people. They are evil. Narcissism is of the devil. My hubby always sees the best in people, as do I, and it took some time for him to come to terms with what I was seeing, but now he is fully on board and loves every bit of our home life even more than before.
Ps…don’t share anything with these people. Good or bad! Pray for them and keep your distance.
Exactly, don't give them any information!
💯 I fully agree!
My 4 sister-in-laws literally accused me of "stealing" their brother. But not until we'd already been married for 10 years!!
One sister threatened to fly to our city to "kick your (my) ass". I told her to let me know when her flight was landing, I could pick her up from the airport.
Because yeah, it's totally normal for a 48 year old lady to fly halfway across the country to get in a physical fight with her brother's wife. Classy, too. 😂 I was 52 at that time, she called me an "old hag". That made me laugh! She's 4 years younger than me! 😅 and I'm proud of my age. It's HER that's single (now in her 50's, too) and freaking out about getting old.
Wow! Good for you that you're halfway across the country from the crazy though!
My mother inlaw said I stole her "husband," meaning her son! Insane!
My sister inlaw said I stole their "father "..
My Brother inlaw said I stole his brother..
For real, how does one steal another human being..
Grown up sibling inlaws with own marriages accusing me of "theft "!
You can't make these things up!
Aaaaand now we're in the middle of a divorce.
Hun my sister inlaw acted like my husband had died. She mourned our marriage lol my husband stopped talking to her all together. It was as if she was his ex wife. 😂 my husband was disgusted by it all. You should never be around anyone that makes you regret your marriage. If i could do my life over i would have not married. It’s not worth it. Because most men don’t have courage until it’s too late.
@Kiss_lynda wow. Yeah getting divorced now.
My husband's marriage is to his mother. She even told me I'm taking him away from his responsibilities, which are "taking care of her."
My wife had two experiences with my step dad and mom, first time they visited us in Chicago and my wife was shocked at how he ordered my mom to walk Chicago in the heat, with no stops in cafes to rest. They are in their 70s. Next visit 4 years later, they came to Orlando and invited us to stay at their place with them. Day one, he blew up and had a major rage fit while we drove him to the airport to get his rental car. He screamed and shouted and accused us of being stupid for paying tolls to take him to the airport. If I wasn't a Godly man I would have stopped the car and thrown him out in the highway. I tried to have a reasonable chat with him afterwards and explained that kind of behavior was not allowed. My wife was scared to death. We left as soon as possible and we agreed it was the last time we would ever see them. Yeah it sucks, but I know what matters and am protecting my wife from them. She had been abused as well and admitted she had never witnessed or been the subject of such rage in her life. It still affects her, and me.
I avoided getting married again for many years for fear of my family and that property mentality. this is really good information-thank you for the work that you are doing!
I married a man whose sons have the “Mine Mentality.” Sadly, they seem resentful of whatever blessing comes to me or my daughter from their father. They are blessed beyond belief, yet they covet whatever comes our way. Jealous & entitled, they gossip & wait for their dad’s death so they can have it all. 😢😢😢
Anyway, thanks for the tips, Kevin. Its hard to keep it cool when you know the ugly truth. 😐
Yeah- I’ve been through all of this. Ended up poisoning my marriage and ultimately ended it.
I don’t know if it works but have you tried like mentioning in front of them, saying that they are blessed, they have everything, you want your daughter to be successful just like them etc. maybe it will change their view, of how they see you and your daughter. It will make them less jealous. Like try to mention their good qualities and maybe their cold souls will warm a bit. I did this with two people and it worked miraculously. I liked those people and they were jealous of me. I wanted to be friends and for some time, mentioned all their good qualities. I tried to tell them, that I am different and they shouldn’t hate me for no reason. They were surprised and something changed in them. Maybe showing the love or the appreciation, to someone, makes them see you differently. Sorry for the long comment but I hope that one day they will be nice and they will behave as they should. I wish you all the best.
@@Sara2016a Of course, Sara, I have done all of those things consistently over the course of the last 10 years. Sometimes people are just going to hate you without a cause, and slander you, and seek opportunities to take you down. I am listening and following Kevin‘s videos because he gives answers for situations like this-where nothing has worked.
@@billiemunn I am sorry to hear that. I hope they will change, but if not try to be happy and try not to think about them, even though I know it’s hard. May God give you happiness 🤗
Wow your comment just made me realize that I lived through that same situation with my own dad. His family never liked it whenever he gave me something even though I rarely asked for anything. I never understood why it bothered them so much to the point where they would be petty too. It's awful to feel like you're thrown in "competition" mode in some way with those "mine mentally" relatives. When by right he was my dad and whatever he decided to give to me be it his time or financial support, it was his to give alone and their consent was not needed.
When we first got married, I said let's move away from both of our Moms, so we could be happy living our little life.
The "Moms" always rope ya back in. I never had a mom so I don't know what that would be like.
i deeply appreciate the advice of not telling other people about ur marital problems & it will save alot of people frm trouble.
This is great life advice, and not just for married couples. I've never been married - never found the right person, but I think part of my reluctance to tie the knot was the fear of being "absorbed" by a spouses clan/family, etc. Even with my own family, I felt too restricted by what they thought I was or should be.
You did the right thing
This!!! I have this fear!! So I made sure I let my fiance know up front!! Am not playing when it comes to toxic family, I will absolutely divorce his AZZ if he doesn't have set clear healthy boundaries with his family, friends, parents etc. Like you not disturbing my peace bringing me into no toxic SHXT. I cut off my whole family because I want peace and happiness in my life! If am not putting up with it from my own family, what makes you think I will put up with it from your family? 😂 He protects me from his overbearing mother and he knows how she is and doesn't tolerate her nonsense. He made sure I knew that I'm the queen of my castle and that I come first ALWAYS. I also make sure to maintain my source of income (yes my fiance pays for everything, but I make sure I have income of my own and have skills, certifications, degrees. Every woman should, just in case things don't go as planned or if him and his family are toxic, you have an out!!! That's why I don't have kids either! Once am done with you, am done with you and your family! No need to stay in contact!
@@Chessica450-m3d I'm sure his mom is pissed he's paying the bills while you "just work part time."
Relationships already require a lot of responsibility without adding outside narcissistic influence.
I never knew the background gossip about my so called failings in my marriage .I accused of being lazy by my siblings never said to my face .My aunt was the one who revealed the comments .Next the know all mother in law talking about my poor career ,she had never had a paid job in her life .Nothing was ever positive ,your advice is great .Too bad I didn't hear it years ago ,divorced now😂
Yes, my mother-in-law badmouths me and my job. She was a housewife with ONE child!!!!!!! And then, she was the lowest skilled clerical worker.
I agree with everything you said in this message Kevin. God said that you leave your family when you marry. I believe many people are immature when they marry and do not take full responsibility for their lives and get back to their parents in suffering and trouble expecting them to be” a soft place to fall” - when you decide to get married your place to fall are not them. That „soft place to fall” is always Jesus and in times of trouble somebody objective and wise - and these are not your family, especially when you know they have abused you due to their narcisism or immaturity.
Thank you so much for this topic. I believe my marriages was victim to outside narcisism. A pastor who organised churchhtrips for a vieuw days and organised that we as couples could not sleep together. This brought a wedge between me and my husband after a second time of these kind of trips. We were not keen or strong enough in our marriage to overcome this. God had good plans for us. But maybe my husband was also a narcisist, betraying me. I have forgiven everybody everything. I layed it all to rest in the courtroom of Heaven.
So many good points! Thanks.
I was dating a guy who's one sister did not want him and me getting together and she did what she could to sabotage me. She would tell him I'm not sophisticated enough and I'm not slim enough, she would even send him unbecoming photos of me without telling me she took them. His mother wasn't around much when he was a kid so his sister filled in as a mother, so he talks to her just about every day even now and they're in their upper years. I am to the point where I really don't want anything to do with either one of them. But I did appreciate the point of slowly drawing away from the narcissistic negative person in the family. I do still see him occasionally and there's a small chance we would get back together again I doubt that will happen mainly because of her. And I would not care to be her sister-in-law.
Whenever you found your match and you are doing good together, just be silent about your happiness, to family, friends, people around.
What other people are doing is crazy. Society is like programmed to destroy your love luck. At least I suffered from that. Now I even do not try coz already been hurt by heart breaks, partly caused by over nosy people.
Your love life should be top secret nowadays.)
Thank you Kevin.
Full of wisdom ❤
I agree
I’m so glad i found this. My in-laws treated me like i gave their son a disease not a family. I thought I was bad bc my husband cut them off.
My older siblings are narcs 😕 ! It was hell for me ! I went to no contact because I didn’t want them ruining my future marriage. They are so evil especially my ex narc sister she’s not married but she always attacked other family members who are married she was trying to put a wedge . 😬 that property mentality is evil ! What God has put together let no man separate. !
This helps me to understand things a bit more.
Being a full-time homemaker for my family has got to be one of the most threatening things I could have done with my life, as far as my toxic family of origin is concerned. We may not have much money, but I do have a great deal of control over my family and I won't hand it over anymore. The last year has been a power struggle between my mom and I, but I've since realized, the Lord has called me to serve Him, not her. My full-time job is loving and serving my husband and children, while educating the children and maintaining our home. Once I get that down, I seek to do more of the productive things I enjoy, because through those things I can further bless my family and others.
Its been less than a week since I set my hard boundary of no visitors Monday-Friday and my home is already looking better. I feel like we're actively being cursed, but we are strong in the Lord and full of love for one another, so we will overcome.
Thanks for your perspective. I've opened up about my upbringing to two family members and both have ultimately responded by pushing me towards my mother. I have to remind myself, they see my mother's mask and that woman is so convincing, I didn't know I was abused even though her and my sister would outright make fun of my appearance. So, yeah, I don't hold much past her in terms of being able to manipulate good natured people's perceptions. But that's not my problem. In time they will see, or they won't. Either way, the more I distance myself, the better I do, so I'll stick to what works for me. I'd expect any other person to do the same for themselves.
Same here, I can relate. Nice to see someone else in similar situation.
Omg that was my first marriage my sister in law controlled every holiday and she used her sickness and money to control us and my kids divorcing her brother she still controlled yet she never did anything!!
Thank you Kevin,, phenomenal!
Chances are , your spouse may be a
narcissist.
🤔
Exactly and in this case you turn your back on loving siblings who suffer all their life
That's scary 😐
I thought mine was. But in counseling, we discovered she was the codependent. She adopted some narcissistic behaviors, especially trying to make everybody play the assigned role. There is a story in the Big Book of AA about the actor trying to run the play. My wife admits this is her. Narcissists never admit fault. That is always true. But, she was brainwashed and had to unlearn the bad behavior. We are doing well and agree to no contact of the in-laws. It is still hard because she was brainwashed to believe her family was most important. But now she’s lived the damage of an almost failed marriage by her own admission. We are six months into no contact. It helps that she has one sister (former scapegoat who moved away) who validates her. Now, I’m supposedly the scapegoat. But, that’s okay. I have to love and devotion of my wife and kids. They have mine.
Parental alienation and brain washing
your kids is a planned choice. Wreaking your spouse and using your kids against you among other things
is just common sense wrong. Abuse is
abuse . Relationships are not a game of competition and destruction. Greiving the loss of people that are still
alive is gut wrenching.
Keep dropping the jewels of knowledge and truth TY for all your work here stay blessed!
I’ve lived this. He dropped a freaking treasure chest full of jewels.
My mother-in-law groomed me to give her my prescription medication‘s and then one time I wanted to stop giving her them because my dad had cancer at the time. I really needed my meds more than anything during that time. She thought it was OK to take two out of my prescription bottle and stolen them from me, my husband, then uninvited her to our wedding and now the entire group of women on his side of the family are sending me threatening messages of violence. They’re spreading awful rumors about me to my parents. They are literally ruining my life as we speak. I don’t even know what to do at this point except give the police a call.
Very educational. I fell into one of the loopholes.
I’m going to start calling my MIL, Laban. This only child raised by a single mom done did made a boo boo…….sighhhh.
Very insightful! Thank you
Wow, Kevin! Excellent video! When I marry again... I will run away to a romantic island... Happy and joyful, praising the Lord with someone nice all day long! 💕😁🤗👩❤️👨👨👩👦
Thank you I really needed this clarity!!
This is such a great wisdom, thankyou so much for addressing everything inam going through from a 1.5yr of marriage.
My mother in law keeps telling me that I didn’t respect her and if I want to be a part of her family I should do like she wants. Her rules or I am out.
I would ignore her. She doesn't get to control your relationship or your marriage. She gon be aight. That's just me.
Wish I knew this 7 years ago.
Lol. I wish I knew this 20 years ago.
🙋♀️ 10 years ago ...
🙋🏾♀️ 24 years
Thank you for this ❤️ absolutely spot on
I am going to bring this video up to my therapist very good content here!
Dread Christmas 😬. Big nightmare !
I had to separate from my husband, due to my jealous, narcissistic sibling, who unfortunately has legal custody of our youngest son, due to him having medical issues as an infant ( he was born premature, I had a very high risk pregnancy), she lied to the medical staff and DCFS about us, God, I wish I would have trusted my gut instinct, and listened to my husband and his family, warning me NOT to let her get involved,( because she is envious and jealous of me and my husband, she is single and never been in any real relationship nor does she have any children of her own). I regret it big time that I ever let her become involved in my family, considering how toxic my childhood was and how she was always the GC sibling.
She uses our youngest son as a pawn, and has since she became his foster parent.
Thanks for this video, but I wished I had this information earlier on in my marriage.
I should have distanced myself and family, early on, right after me and my husband moved to the next town away.
Who would have tought! If I only New this decades ago, or simply trusted my instinkt.
Very nice video your last point in this video is totally a life safe to me thank you so much for the whole information all on point 👍
Awesome advice brother👏🏽
Move to Richard Prenoeke's cabin for an extended honeymoon and eliminate outside influences and persuasion...
No contact best option
Agreed. No holidays no visits nothing
Hallelujah
God bless you Kevin
Im 6 and half minutes in and everything he sayin iz on point SMH
I think if you protect your marriage from people like this, your spouse will be pissed off, as they don't see it.
That’s what I’m going through now. I’m at a breaking point.
I knew Levan was a dick when I read about him, but somehow you put it in better perspective. Wow.
Defensively he did defend them! And she did say come at Christmas and then invited the ex wife!
💯 I’ve never seen anything like it
You right 👍
you just describe my in-laws to a T?
And because of 15 years of their controlling way, I’m thinking about ending my marriage
My wife will not stand up for me, and she will not stand up to them
I have time and time again to confront them directly
But nothing seems to work I feel I’m all alone in my own house, fighting on my own team and being ganged up on constantly
Mom plays the victim mentality and dad tell me to stop disrespecting his wife
And my wife in the background is just sitting there, letting me take the punches not literally, but you know what I mean
And I’ve demonstrated several times to her from the day of our wedding when I told my mother, if she didn’t like the seating arrangement that my wife had bowed, don’t show up to the wedding
My in-laws playing vacations they want to take with us whose house we’re having a Christmas party over who’s cooking for dinner. My mother-in-law does everything and she has a word and everything.
I’ve tried fighting her tooth and nail over the years, and it just doesn’t seem to work. She just falls back into her same controlling ways and nothing changes.
My sister has always been jealous of me and wanted me to suffer. I just found out that my narcissistic sister is pregnant with my narcissistic husband. I'm trying to process everything. Any suggestions from anyone on this site would be appreciated. I've gone no contact since Oct 2022.
And in my card plus, as far as I understood, they tried to sell me in to arranged marriages, like forced arranged marriages, this is why every other man whos been around waz supposed to be a threat. Yeah, sometimes you are a real property, not more.
I did not know about that, and just now I understand one me friend's words: I feel really sorry for your life, coz u r just like woods in the warehouse.
Sorry to share this just narcissism has much deeper roots than we think.
What happens when you want to have a relationship with your nieces and nephews. What does that look like
This is not the way. This is why a lot of Americans don’t have close family & support. Then they have mental issues because they have no sense of community. We should not label people. We are human trying to figure it out. Sometimes ppl can have toxic behavior but a person is not toxic. We must forgive & find ways to stay together if we want to. Our Mexican culture we count on family but we also set boundaries that we all respect & if it’s not respected we dismiss it because it not a big deal. It’s the pride & love we have with one another. We just accept one another unless it’s very damaging then we seek help from other family members even if we have to force them to get help. But we never leave each other no matter what.
In church I hear the preacher saying 'look at Jesus in everyone' but where is this in the bible?
I don't know exactly what the preacher
said. I wasn't there. But, obviously, as
believers we find our identity in Jesus Christ . Jesus takes up residency within the believer and is transformed.
Everyone is created by God, but not everyone puts their faith and trust in Jesus Christ and denies Christ's
work on the cross as being the only
sacrifice for sin and defeated death by
His reserection .
Maybe the preacher was saying you may be the only Jesus someone
without Jesus sees . Plenty of scripture
that explains those who have and those who have not. A smart phone
can quickly give you some place to
start in a search. 1 John 4:7,8. " Dear friends , let us continue to love one another , for love comes from God.
Anyone who loves is a child of God and
knows God. But anyone who does not
love does not know God , for God is love".
A person can know of Jesus or a person can know Jesus. Big difference. Go ask your preacher to
clarify. That would be the right thing
to do first. Might be just a miss understanding. God bless you .
Ok I did that as well and he mad it worse then ya I got mad at him then I made it worse too crazy for me I'm out!!!
How protect a brother who married a Narcissist? And what to do if he turned his back to everybody all of a sudden? It broke my heart to not be invited to his wedding.
Remember to place the blame where it lies….the narcissist. You have to go no contact in my opinion. If you don’t, it will bleed into your life. No contact but responsive to him. Do not comment on her. Only say good things. The cognitive dissonance will only go on for so long. Do not give her anything to use. Only unicorns and lollipops. She will try to create drama. Just smile and know she is grasping at straws.
@@sleeperno1215 thank you, my brother implemented no contact by hurting me so deeply 20 years ago. His persona was changed, he was moody most of the time. I could not stay in touch with him and still dont. He has my number to reach out.
@@jilross4892, the Big Book of Alanon says that you have to admit you re powerless over other people. You’ve done all you can do. You do nor deserve this. My narcissistic in-laws had control of my wife and kids. It hurt to be rejected when they were clearly being manipulated. I got lucky. I don’t know why. I wish I could take away just a little of your pain. I know it hurts? I cannot imagine your hurt though. I just know it is real and not deserved.
What about if the spouse is narcissistic and trying to keep the boy away from his family even when the family is good
Solution
Marriage counselling course has to be attended by bride and bridegroom along with family members. Moral values and effects of negative actions in their life has to be taught so that they know the side effects of illegal actions.....
Can increase the Professional trust and income genetation options among the brotherinlaw so that he wouldnot spend his time uselessly disturbing sibling marriage life.
Once identified Sibling involved in disturbing family life has to be punished severly , the marriage welfare council can monitor his activities iñ such a way the married couple are living a peaceful life.......
First warning, if it continues punishment should be severe, can even telecast the picture of sibling in local TV, newspapers, work place, etc so that he will get shame by his bad behavoiur. Once the brother is ashamed by his bad behavoir he will not involve in illegal activities.
This story telecast in public can serve as moral story to others in such a way other sibling would even think of disturbing.........
Best sibling award can be given at block, district,....so that he/she knows the good activity will result in good life......
In laws that want to be in charge
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Leave thosev kinds of families alone or you wikk be praying everday jesus takes those kinds iof ppl out of this world my ex inkaw is pure evil
Move to a different universe
Your spouse and children are more important than your family of origin. People leave to cleave so that they can create their own culture for their family.
Amen
My mother-in-law groomed me to give her my prescription medication‘s and then one time I wanted to stop giving her them because my dad had cancer at the time. I really needed my meds more than anything during that time. She thought it was OK to take two out of my prescription bottle and stolen them from me, my husband, then uninvited her to our wedding and now the entire group of women on his side of the family are sending me threatening messages of violence. They’re spreading awful rumors about me to my parents. They are literally ruining my life as we speak. I don’t even know what to do at this point except give the police a call.
I remember when I first got married that my in-laws were very critical of my faith or lack thereof. I guess it's not kicked up a notch like their church denomination. Ever since we both went no contact, life became more simplified and my wife found herself differentiating from her parents. When we visited her parents, it was depressing and my dearly beloved wife felt like a shell of a woman because of how they abused her since she was a child. I know I'm called to protect my wife from abusers and narcissists
This. The mistake I made was constantly complaining about the control. All it did was drive my wife to reflexively defend them. Kevin’s idea about emphasizing your own marriage is spot on. Another idea would be to plan a literal “getaway” and spend some holidays away from them. Do it early though and make sure she knows your deposit in not refundable. You will never win the fight by pushing back against the in-laws. Your spouse has been victimized for far too long to easily break the trauma bonds. Counseling is a gift you give yourself. It is the only way you will ever be safely heard. The counselor should be trained to recognize narcissistic abuse. Ask to let each of you out your thoughts on paper. Mention it there. Do not use the N word to your wife.
Good stuff. Unless both spouses are on the same page when dealing with narcs in the family, there is no marriage. If 1 spouse has narc family members who cross boundaries into the marriage and cause it trouble and that spouse does not address it and protect the other spouse and the marriage and sides with the family abusers or does nothing to stop them, there is no marriage. The ONLY way to protect the other spouse and the marriage from narc family member abusers is to go no contact with the narc family member abusers.
Wow my narc parents fear I have lack of faith too. Let's just say I found a sweet man but I don't think I want my parents to know. I made that decision years ago. And when we get married I know he will be blamed for everything and anything. Also I have gone no contact with my family and they are saying that he is the reason why and that he's influencing me rather than taking responsibility for how narcissitic they are. Mind u they don't even know who he is or met him. I hope I will heal from all this :) But staying away from them was the best decision I made. I don't want to put up with their religious narcissism no more. I'm at a point where I feel I have no family and I'm gonna focus on creating my own. But of course I wanna be sure to cleanse all trauma before entering into marriage.
@@sleeperno1215 I relate 100%.
@@raccuia1 Very true, they must be on the same page for this to work.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” The opposite is true for too many, which equals no marriage. Well said.
How come mothers and fathersday is about the grandparents, not the moms and dads? I just realized it is weird to buy presents for parents an in-laws, when they do not buy anything or congratulate the parents of their grandkids.
Ugh this is unfortunately so relevant! Thank you for the great advice. 🤜🏼🤛🏼
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I have discovered that a partner that comes from a less than financially secure upbringing will have lots of insecurities to help that ole Narcissism along. My ex was a humble young woman, however her brother ,father and for very sure "Queen Bee" mother all had it in for me. It took ten years to put me on my knees, when all i did was try to be a good son in law. In my final analysis, if one can get stabbed in the back by so many people you previously trusted, then why even bother playing that losing game.
🎯 This is spot on. They are deeply insecure about the lack of finances and are extremely co-dependent upon each other. This financial insecurity will drive them to compete with you. Leaving was the best thing you could have done.
Thank you, great video indeed and God's protection in all relationships and marriages, blessings
Very nice advise
1:53 Ya, real simple, it's called "I'm a dishonest, unfair character, I'll make life a living hell for you. Free of charge. 😂❤
Thanks I was wondering about this
The reason why this won’t work with me is because the narcissistic family that’s abusive now is a family that my husband has entered after being with me and our children for the past 26 years he just met his half sister four years ago and it’s been nothing but problems within our family now. also, he is a product of an affair, no less so it’s his father that was sleeping with two different women at the same time and got them pregnant. So now he wants to be a part of that toxic family so badly and is it issued that looks like it may be headed for our split 🤷🏻♀️
With the narsistic person ur world never be changed...no matter how you create a distence from family.or. siblings..they are bound by complexity...
How do we deal with Narcissist children of a second marriage, since we can't separate from them?
What do you do when your sister in law is living with you until she gets back on her feet after a divorce. What do you do?
great video, the crackling noise is very loud and makes it hard to concentrate on what you are saying at times.
Thank you for the insightful explanation, Kevin. Blessings to you 🙏🎉
my spouse would side with the in law reletives
Thank you very much for this video!
Excellent advice thank you!
Thank you so much! ❤
This is 💯 accurate!!
Thanks, Kevin.
Not me saying the name as “LAYban” for literally my whole life 😂 thank you Kevin! What a great validation video for myself and surely many others. My partner’s ex wife and children have weird racial things going on combined with feeling threatened by me in general. I slowly have watched him create a safe space for our love to flourish and keep them at arms length. All these things have been unspoken as I feel he is actually ashamed of how they treated me back when I did try to assimilate. We have separate relationships and it works well on my end anyhow! I mentally disengaged from all triangulations. Once I did so I believe my partner could clearly see how his family behaved and was disappointed.
My half brother demanded that I come to his wedding, knowing full well that our father would be there. This father has not spoken to me in 30 years. I had to explain to him that my presence would ruin his wedding and I refused to be put in that situation. He pushed me for months, even offered to pay my way. So glad I never attended.
This was explained very well!! Ty 😊🙏🏽
Huuu wow thanks a lot ❤I needed this healing
Ya that's what I thot but it was all a lie and a game by my narc and his family!!! 😈🤮😈
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