Don’t let their problem become your problem. When a toxic friendship sent me into a tailspin of codependency, I had to learn to give myself permission to set healthy boundaries. Then my boundaries caused her to verbally lash out, I had to maintain my position (and not feel guilty about it). Learning a LOT with this book!
"Stay vertical with God, and don't let their problem become your problem." What great last words to end on!!! Thank you, Jim, for your teaching and wisdom from God and his word.
As emotional and difficult as it might be, you have to cut off those narcissists, abusers, gaslighters, etc. Your peace and spiritual journey doesn't start until you do. A heavy weight was lifted once I did on more than one occasion. Now I look back and know I did the right thing.
This was so helpful! I cut off communication with people I was friends with for 20 years because I got tired of them thinking I was mentally ill when in reality I was severely traumatized as a child and as an adult. People need to be informed of the difference between the two.
Agree Amanda, I had to cut people off to survive, due to my own trauma/PTSD so I could heal. It was only triggering me and causing more harm. God will bring back those. He wants in your life at another time.
@@rebekahphelps9401 Your text touched my heart. God will bring back those......in time. In His Perfect Timing. 🙏 If not, HE closes doors for a reason & I pray those doors remain closed. 🙏 😊
All of this has been so confirming to me that I am on the right track to getting myself off the crazy train (relationship). Glory to God for wisdom and the strength/mind to walk in it!🙌🏽
yeah me too, was hard and so nasty he was in end as of my boundaries. im four weeks outnow, does it get better, i feel so alone and think of hi wth another person
@@franceshaggitt3104 I'm sorry you had to go through that. 🥺Kudos to you for loving you enough to get out. I was just having those thoughts and feeling sad/alone yesterday about how some woman will enjoy the great parts about him. but I keep reminding myself of why I cannot stay. The destructive parts of him outweigh the good so i'd be signing up for more stress and frustration if I stayed. I'm worth saving and deserve peace. woe to the next woman who has to deal with him. When I start feeling lonely, i let it come up and use it as an opportunity to lean into the Lord, casting all those crappy emotions on him--and I do something nice for myself. 🥰 I'm starting Lysa's new devotional study "You're Gonna Make It." Everyday is getting better in Jesus name. Prayers up for you as you go through the process.🙏🏽
@@nikkismith5782 hi yes well my ex called my son a c.nt and i still took him back and then my other children he said do as you are fckin told so with that i had to end him too as children would not really respect me or like him being around,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,they willdo same to next person,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,where are lisas studyy guides
I just put a boundary up with my sister which entailed not getting on a phone call to listen to her lies. I told her to write to me her explanation for a very hurtful thing she did. So she’s blown me off. Because by phone she could spin her web of lies but I’m not engaging in that anymore.
Sorry to hear. I understand as I've been through that too. Thing is with my experiences, they do same in writing too, ever more so, unfortunately. So just hold on to your truth and boundary no matter what. 🙏
TY Jim Cress, for sharing these helpful nuggets of truth! ♥ So incredible, the beautiful way God validates his children using people to speak His Word. Love how you incorporated the book of Nehemiah. I had long forgotten these practical principles. I dug deeper and and read all of chapter 6 and compared Sanballat and his cohorts ? --- They are alot like intimidating lawyers ... wanting me to give in, to compromise the building of my boundary/wall, give up, instilling fear tactics. And Neh didn't, he just prayed..."Strengthen my hands (what I am undertaking) Lord!"
Such great information! I feel like the Holy Spirit brought me peace through Jims words, from a situation I encountered with someone who is no longer a friend to me. This person was upset at me and I didn’t even know what I did to them. I finally reached out to them to see what was wrong and they totally went off on me and made me feel awful, like I was the bad person. There reasons for being upset at me didn’t even make any sense. Big lesson learned for me.
Oh exactly this thing happened to me two time by now. Didn't expect this to come in the video. I was quite shocked the first time this happened to me with an old friend. She wanted to meet for a walk. Suddenly she started blaming me for this and that and was trying to tell me about the way I am. We stopped have any contact for about a year.
Thanks . I did not know the words to use to Establish a boundary or How to explain even what I needed or did not need. I wasn’t allowed to Express my needs, emotions, feelings when I was a child or teenager Or young person. I was Oldest and there to take Care of my mother and Siblings. Staying quiet Submissive but I still got My Saturday beating from My mom.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, friend. There are several videos in our Therapy & Theology playlist that may be helpful to you as you process your past.
I have been blamed for my marriage ending….I believed every word , every condemnation, criticism coming at me. I am just starting to come out of the incredible heaviness of shame, self condemnation, confusion….UGH
Hi friend! Head over to the P31 Bookstore for a copy! www.p31bookstore.com/collections/lysa-terkeurst-books-and-bible-studies/products/good-boundaries-and-goodbyes
Praise God that the responsibility of changing people does not rest on me! I therefore bind to hell every idea any human being can change another human being in my life, the lives of my family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, acquitances, opponents and the body of Christ while binding one to know God can change human beings, binding to hell every unequal yoke and common share with any human being thinking to be able to change another human being while lacking to know God is the one that can change people, in accordance with this word and nehemiah 6:3, 2 corinthians 6:14-18 in the name and blood of Jesus Christ, amen and hallelujah, glory to God ❤!
I let my ex come back final time to see if we got on and worked on it..........well I read my boundaries this time and he flipped after day five into his old self and was so nasty, so i ended him, he did not change like he said he would. darkness, evil, even God warned me through reading words of..wicked web !! whne iwas teaching in school reading to a child!
At least mentioning what people did wrong is common courtesy. Cutting them off of one's life without a reason is totally unreasonable, rude and narcissistic.Treating other believers in a poor manner says a lot about the one who's mistreating not the mistreated. God doesn't want us to be mean to other people let alone the people we know and believers in Jesus Christ. Nehemiah did right because he had ample proof that Tobias and Sanbalat meant him harm and he remained united and in harmony with his own people.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
Narcissists don’t have boundaries. You have to respect yourself enough to cut the ties. Thank you for this nugget.
Amen ❤.
True that!
Amen 🙏
Thanks for watching, Kristi!
yes did you leave
Don’t let their problem become your problem. When a toxic friendship sent me into a tailspin of codependency, I had to learn to give myself permission to set healthy boundaries. Then my boundaries caused her to verbally lash out, I had to maintain my position (and not feel guilty about it). Learning a LOT with this book!
i did this and he walked allover me and so i ended him for good, gaslighted me and ade me feel guilty
I was able to release some quiet shame while listening to this message. I am also experiencing some relief in knowing I am not alone.
"Stay vertical with God, and don't let their problem become your problem." What great last words to end on!!!
Thank you, Jim, for your teaching and wisdom from God and his word.
Amen!! Don't get caught in the mind games!! Keep your eyes upward, not outward to this world. Remember the ultimate victory!
I wish I could find a counselor like this man,I need to talk to someone who has wisdom, and I trust Lysa when she says this man helped her so much.
Hi Nanette! We recommend finding a counselor through the American Association of Christian Counselors: aacc.net
As emotional and difficult as it might be, you have to cut off those narcissists, abusers, gaslighters, etc. Your peace and spiritual journey doesn't start until you do. A heavy weight was lifted once I did on more than one occasion. Now I look back and know I did the right thing.
Thanks for watching, Joann!
yes i did that too, tell me it will get better, he was from satan for sure
This was so helpful! I cut off communication with people I was friends with for 20 years because I got tired of them thinking I was mentally ill when in reality I was severely traumatized as a child and as an adult. People need to be informed of the difference between the two.
Agree Amanda, I had to cut people off to survive, due to my own trauma/PTSD so I could heal. It was only triggering me and causing more harm. God will bring back those. He wants in your life at another time.
@@rebekahphelps9401 Your text touched my heart. God will bring back those......in time. In His Perfect Timing. 🙏 If not, HE closes doors for a reason & I pray those doors remain closed. 🙏 😊
It’s great how the Bible gives us wisdom on how to deal with different types of relationships.
All of this has been so confirming to me that I am on the right track to getting myself off the crazy train (relationship). Glory to God for wisdom and the strength/mind to walk in it!🙌🏽
yeah me too, was hard and so nasty he was in end as of my boundaries. im four weeks outnow, does it get better, i feel so alone and think of hi wth another person
@@franceshaggitt3104 I'm sorry you had to go through that. 🥺Kudos to you for loving you enough to get out. I was just having those thoughts and feeling sad/alone yesterday about how some woman will enjoy the great parts about him. but I keep reminding myself of why I cannot stay. The destructive parts of him outweigh the good so i'd be signing up for more stress and frustration if I stayed. I'm worth saving and deserve peace. woe to the next woman who has to deal with him.
When I start feeling lonely, i let it come up and use it as an opportunity to lean into the Lord, casting all those crappy emotions on him--and I do something nice for myself. 🥰 I'm starting Lysa's new devotional study "You're Gonna Make It." Everyday is getting better in Jesus name. Prayers up for you as you go through the process.🙏🏽
@@nikkismith5782 hi yes well my ex called my son a c.nt and i still took him back and then my other children he said do as you are fckin told so with that i had to end him too as children would not really respect me or like him being around,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,they willdo same to next person,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,where are lisas studyy guides
I just put a boundary up with my sister which entailed not getting on a phone call to listen to her lies. I told her to write to me her explanation for a very hurtful thing she did. So she’s blown me off. Because by phone she could spin her web of lies but I’m not engaging in that anymore.
Sorry to hear. I understand as I've been through that too. Thing is with my experiences, they do same in writing too, ever more so, unfortunately. So just hold on to your truth and boundary no matter what. 🙏
I needed the reminder, “Don’t change your tune.” Ty
Preach!!!! Yes and Amen. I love this. I've never heard the story of Nehemiah shared from this perspective .
TY Jim Cress, for sharing these helpful nuggets of truth! ♥
So incredible, the beautiful way God validates his children using people to speak His Word.
Love how you incorporated the book of Nehemiah. I had long forgotten these practical principles.
I dug deeper and and read all of chapter 6 and compared Sanballat and his cohorts ? ---
They are alot like intimidating lawyers ...
wanting me to give in, to compromise the building of my boundary/wall, give up, instilling fear tactics.
And Neh didn't, he just prayed..."Strengthen my hands (what I am undertaking) Lord!"
“Go vertical with God” Amen
Jim is the best.
Thank you. We will move forward from this and bring forth the kingdom! We got this.
This was so timely for me. Thanks so much!
This is very helpful. Thank you.
Such great information! I feel like the Holy Spirit brought me peace through Jims words, from a situation I encountered with someone who is no longer a friend to me. This person was upset at me and I didn’t even know what I did to them. I finally reached out to them to see what was wrong and they totally went off on me and made me feel awful, like I was the bad person. There reasons for being upset at me didn’t even make any sense. Big lesson learned for me.
Thanks for watching, Andrea!
Oh exactly this thing happened to me two time by now. Didn't expect this to come in the video. I was quite shocked the first time this happened to me with an old friend. She wanted to meet for a walk. Suddenly she started blaming me for this and that and was trying to tell me about the way I am. We stopped have any contact for about a year.
This is really timely and important to me right now. Thank you so much.
I am doing a great work on myself & my boundaries are essential.
Beautifully put, and very timely. Thank you
Amen 🙏 this is great timing and great advice from the word.
Wow, so powerful. Thanks for sharing 👍
This is so timely!
Thanks for watching, friend!
This is super helpful advice
Thanks for watching!
Thank you! I pray I remember your great advice.
Thank you so much for your encouragement!🎚🥰
Thanks for watching!
TY 4 this!
This is just what I needed today. Thanks! Anne
Thanks for watching!
Thanks . I did not know the words to use to
Establish a boundary or
How to explain even what
I needed or did not need.
I wasn’t allowed to
Express my needs, emotions, feelings when
I was a child or teenager
Or young person. I was
Oldest and there to take
Care of my mother and
Siblings. Staying quiet
Submissive but I still got
My Saturday beating from
My mom.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, friend. There are several videos in our Therapy & Theology playlist that may be helpful to you as you process your past.
Thank you.
Thank you, so much Jim this was really really helpful.
I have been blamed for my marriage ending….I believed every word , every condemnation, criticism coming at me. I am just starting to come out of the incredible heaviness of shame, self condemnation, confusion….UGH
We're praying for you right now, friend!
I really want to have this book🙇♀️
Hi friend! Head over to the P31 Bookstore for a copy! www.p31bookstore.com/collections/lysa-terkeurst-books-and-bible-studies/products/good-boundaries-and-goodbyes
Amen
This is very very helpful counsel! Thank you so much!!
And right out of scriptureTY
Thanks , is it ok to move away from an Abussive wife with BPD traits? Does GOD allow the marriage to close in this context ? Pls advise
If I’m still married do I need to be intimate without feeling like I’m loved even if he says it? He cheated online but I’m still very hurt
Narsisist people have no feelings or boundaries it's all about them blaming you for everything.
Praise God that the responsibility of changing people does not rest on me! I therefore bind to hell every idea any human being can change another human being in my life, the lives of my family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, acquitances, opponents and the body of Christ while binding one to know God can change human beings, binding to hell every unequal yoke and common share with any human being thinking to be able to change another human being while lacking to know God is the one that can change people, in accordance with this word and nehemiah 6:3, 2 corinthians 6:14-18 in the name and blood of Jesus Christ, amen and hallelujah, glory to God ❤!
If this is a partner doing it... should we divorce?
I let my ex come back final time to see if we got on and worked on it..........well I read my boundaries this time and he flipped after day five into his old self and was so nasty, so i ended him, he did not change like he said he would. darkness, evil, even God warned me through reading words of..wicked web !! whne iwas teaching in school reading to a child!
At least mentioning what people did wrong is common courtesy. Cutting them off of one's life without a reason is totally unreasonable, rude and narcissistic.Treating other believers in a poor manner says a lot about the one who's mistreating not the mistreated. God doesn't want us to be mean to other people let alone the people we know and believers in Jesus Christ. Nehemiah did right because he had ample proof that Tobias and Sanbalat meant him harm and he remained united and in harmony with his own people.