Therapy & Theology: Red Flags We Shouldn’t Ignore in Relationships
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- In this episode, we'll tackle how the word "submission" has been abused and what it looks like to identify if a relationship has gone from dysfunctional to destructive.
Join Lysa TerKeurst; Licensed Professional Counselor Jim Cress; and Proverbs 31 Ministries' Director of Theological Research, Dr. Joel Muddamalle, for a conversation about therapy and theology.
Helpful links from Lysa TerKeurst and the Proverbs 31 Team:
- Not only is it OK for us to identify concerning behaviors and harmful actions against us, but it is biblical. Download Lysa’s free guide “Is This Normal? 15 Red Flags You May be Missing in Your Relationships” here: proverbs31.org...
- Get your copy of Lysa TerKeurst’s book “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes” here: www.p31booksto...
-Share your story with our team! We’d love to hear how the Proverbs 31 Ministries RUclips channel has impacted you.
form.jotform.c...
Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances. www.aacc.net
#lysaterkeurst #proverbs31 #therapyandtheology #therapy #theology #womensissues #mentalhealth #emotionalabuse
I had this same convetsation..."I am supposed to be in safety in my marriage".
AND I totally felt insecure, disoriented, and confused.
No worries God healed 🙏
The problem with dysfunctional relationships is that the potentially toxic person can almost volunteer to change their behavior in a way that will keep you hopeful and keep you in the relationship. Becoming mentally strong enough and aware enough to know what authentic and real changes look like are very important or you may be volunteering to stay in a manipulative relationship because the other person who is potentially toxic is giving the illusion that you are controlling them with your boundaries and they are changing, but the changes that they are appearing to have are superficial at best and their underlying dysfunction is still there. You cannot let the appearances of the other person changing on your behalf be enough for you to stay in a relationship, unless the other person is authentically seeing you and hearing you and understanding you and responding in a way in which you need them to that is generally just showing you that they're healthier human beings for it and not as manipulative tactics. Potentially toxic people focus on exterior actions and do not want to deal with what is hiding out in the closet.
Thank u for reminding me.
❤
YES!! Too true. Sad. A waste- of their own lives and their relationships. But only God can work in them and as He told me, He did not create us to be robots. We have free will. So He is trying to get us to hear Him and follow Him in the way we need to go, but He doesn’t force us or wave a magic wand and change us. We have to want it. We have to be willing to do the work He is guiding us in. And if He cant get someone to listen and want His ways, neither can we. I just have to make sure I am listening and doing the work He is guiding me in ❤️
All true. 💯
Amen, Amen. Lies is ALL I heard to keep me in meshed with his dysfunctional Family and our toxic relationship. I needed to love myself! Stop trying to please him and his family. Also, loved God First with all my heart, mind and soul.
Thank you so much for talking about this! It’s super needed..
Singles need so much help.. singles ministry is so needed and those that came from broken homes and then found Christ don’t know how to identify good relationships.. this needs to be talked about in the church
Wow!!! I can't even begin to describe how right you are!!!! Yes!!!!!
I dnt think most churches care about this.
➡️ More accurately, there are BILLIONS ‼️ who are from homes that weren’t “broken” who seriously need therapy! Some of them had parents who’ve stayed married for over 70 years. Having both parents in the home DOES NOT mean that the household is/was healthy. So many abusers came from extremely unhealthy/dysfunctional households/families where BOTH parents were/are living under the same roof.
@@lemostjoyousrenegade i’m so happy that you’ve mentioned this because I’ve noticed a lot of people don’t like to talk about this. It’s easy to just point the finger at homes that are visibly broken, but a lot of people know that there are a lot of marriages that are dysfunctional and have affected their children negatively.
Wow, great discussion. Some manipulators are so cunning and good at disguising their true character. Your heart is blinded by “love” that you don’t realize the relationship is toxic until you’re in the thick of it.
Hello 👋 Kacey, I love your words so much, like the way you put down your thoughts on note, it really sound so kind and lovely 🤗 how are you doing?
When the police had me go to a support group it was 12weeks, and you could have a new person any week but my first week I explained why I was there. afterwards two women come up and get in my face and say and he can charm the socks off of anyone can't he? and it was like someone threw cold water in my face and I said yes he can😢
When Lysa started reading the list of red flags I immediately recognized them from her new book, Boundaries and Goodbyes….even though in the book the reg flags are not listed under “emotional abuse”, when I read that list in the book - before seeing this video - I immediately thought: these are classical behaviors of emotional abusers/people with narcissistic tendencies. Thanks for speaking about it under the umbrella of emotional abuse in this video. Because when those behaviors consistently, that’s emotional abuse.
Thanks for watching, friend!
Is the book good? I might buy it soon.
I was yelling, “Bingo! Bingo! BINNGOOO!” as I heard everything that has been said and done… 😆
I love affirmation!
@@annatevesbanzon1359 I started reading it last night. In ch 3. So far I have noticed from what I've read, Lysa has talked about the concepts in different youtube videos. I'm glad I bought the book though, but I think you could walk away with the concepts from the videos on here.
Thank you. I’m going to order her book.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words may break my heart.
These three are fabulous together!!!! They are so complimentary to each other and bring their gifts to the table. I love them and they have been so helpful!!!❤
If you’re being treated as less than or you’re in an emotionally unsafe relationship, remember that God loves and cares about you and your well being more than your marriage.
Excellent podcast and Joel really brought it full circle showing us how emotional abuse/manipulation started in the garden with the serpent.
Such a thorough list. Love this: "Is this relationship safe and is it sustainable?"
I wrote that down too. I never asked that question before. Any of the questions for that matter.
No it's not safe and the abuser needs help.
This is the final thing I needed to push me to let go of the toxic relationship I've been in. I think all the red flags were checked for this person. ALL of them! Even though I know so much about this topic of emotional abuse and I constantly research to gain more knowledge, this video was so helpful when put in a Biblical context that God calls me to let go of chaos and strive for peace!!
Pursue peace.
Don't also deny narcissist -empath relationships,they will blame you for everything even for things you didn't do,trauma bonding also please be aware
Absolutely. Once you sense you are in a relationship with a malignant narcissist, literally get out because it only gets worse. If you can get them to discard you first you will be better off, otherwise they will feel the need to monitor and punish you forever - it starts with the 'smear campaign' and their isolation of you, so you have no support. They turn everyone you know against you, paying them if they need to. They have no conscience, no empathy. It is entirely about them and their need to hold the 'power' and 'win'. They will not take no for an answer and will over react dramatically, flying into rages, stalking you, and rewriting history to others about you in a way you could never even recognize. Mine has manifest physically into
chronic pain to the degree I can hardly walk from one room to another. There is only one way to break a trauma bond. I had to read Neil Anderson's book, The Bondage Breaker - twice and do everything in it. There is only One chainbreaker strong enough to come to your rescue when that happens. His name is Jesus Christ.
When your significant other causes turmoil and so you never feel like you can relax around them-turmoil seems to always be either around the corner, a small incident or one misspoken word away. You have to tread lightly, as if on eggshells, just to survive. AKA the Eggshell syndrom. add in Narcissism and its a cocktail of a awful relationship. I too can write a book on such a life. Also how the church tries to keep relationships together when they should not be. and thus the children suffer and grow up and have trauma and leave the church. God through it all has sustained me and I live a emotional healthy life today without my ex. glory to God...
We're praying for you right now, friend!
“The battle was presented in a field that they weren’t expecting.”
“That’ll preach!”
Amen! That short sentence packs soooo much.
Thank you for watching!
Yes I parked there too! 😢 wow 😮
My husband is a meth addict and has been relapsed for 3 years. About 2 years ago I got on Facebook and looked up another man and was looking through his photos. That’s as far as it went but I had forgotten about it and my husband asked me about it and at first I denied it then realized yes I did do it. I went back and confessed that I had done it and I was wrong for doing it. Fast forward 2 years and my husband now monitors everything I do and every where I go. I am innocent of things he accuses me of but his addiction to meth causes him to have paranoia and not accurately assess things. I feel hopeless. I’ve also caught him purchasing porn and looking at porn within the last year. 24 years of marriage and relationship but listening to these videos I truly believe I’m in a destructive relationship
I’m sorry Sabrina. May God go before you, and guide your way ❤
Get out ,make a plan.
Get help & support.
He's dangerous
I prayed for a season of healing in family relationships and then saw this video. So helpful!
Thanks for watching, Susanna!
You've just described a narcissist and rarely will they ever be willing to acknowledge they have a problem, let alone get help..
You practically said that.
I’d love to hear them do an episode sometime about when you have difficult or destructive relationships with parents. That has some difficulties and differences from other relationships or those with spouses.
Thanks for your suggestion, Lanie!
Same here. I believe my most difficult relationship to be with my mother
There are thousands upon thousands of adult children estranged from their parents now... all claiming they've been abused. That would be a dilemma to conquer in this generation.
Wow❤
That truly was the most insightful Bible induced discussion on emotional abuse. My core is shaking.
Thank you so very much y'all for allowing God to use you to educate the ashamed, broken, emotionally abused Christian.
I am the Christian wife of a Christian covert narcissist
Sad but true story
The Bible says for a man to love his wife like he loves CHRIST JESUS
I'm so glad I found you guys exactly on point in my opinion about eating the forbidden fruit and God not wanting us to bear the difference if knowing good from evil. I agree 💯 percent.
Listen to the body, Jim said. This is sooo true!
Yes to heal the broken pieces,you can do only yourself,not waiting to heal the broken pieces from another person,you should heal yourself,sending love,light,happiness all of you! ❤️ 😘 🙏 😇
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Y’all don’t know how happy it makes me for people to actually know this exists ❤ I have nobody in my life or around me that has a CLUE ❤ now, I literally have to endure this until my children are older😢
After 30 years of marriage my husband and I are separated because I am no longer willing to allow his emotional abuse. My pray is that his relationship with God will be strengthened and after that we'll see. I definitely have peace and am grateful for it. I'm so thankful for learning about boundaries. It's an ongoing work and Therapy is vital.
Praying for you, friend!
I think that part of our situations of being in abusive relationships is that we are made to feel like we have nowhere to go and no one will fully understand our situation. Reality is that just about anyone we know would be willing to take us in until we are on our feet again. I was taken in by a cousin that I didnt really even know well. God put me there. My cousin was salve to my soul. My husband of 34 years was a narcissist who was totally disabled and had a sexual addiction. I left 17 years ago. He died 5 years ago (progression of the disease). I learned to forgive him, but some of the junk comes back now and again. Jehovah-Rapha (healer) helped me through those around me.
If someone has not committed to the Lord and let go of hurt pain throughout their life it’s easy for them to fall into these relationship problems. Getting to the root of the problem is surrendering to Jesus.
My life is committed to Christ. As a wife I have surrendered & worked hard to get to the root of my own issues. I can not do anything about my husband’s choices. I have lived in hell trying to do the “Christian” thing & stay. Please don’t be one of those people who say that these problems wouldn’t be there if their life was surrendered. Mine is. And I still live in hell with his choices and because they are mental & not physical & he hides behind mental illness & being a first responder hero, I have NO ONE who will help me because he looks like the one who needs all the help. Your comment sounds nice & “godly” but it’s not reality. If you haven’t lived with a gaslighting manipulator as a believer & not had help, even from my church, saying these things are all spiritual and that’s the ONLY answer is so hurtful and borderlines on “spiritual abuse”. You don’t seem like you want to be that person. Please pray for truth & wisdom for these types of situations. Someone around you might really need your help & their spiritual status is not the only answer, it is one, but not the only one. I pray for you for peace & truth. Have you heard of reboot recovery? I encourage you check it out. It’s eye opening what trauma does to people, even when they want to live Godly.
I completely agree with you on many things you address that is definitely a reality in our lives. There’s never the “Christian” thing to do. There’s absolutely no reason to stay in an abusive relationship as God Himself does stay at all in the individuals life. God has given us the option of living a free life, having the choice to keep to His Holy Word, known as the scriptures. It definitely does sound like your husband has a great need for help, a deep internal issues to confront, only he can come to the truth of his own actions. My sincere heart goes out to you as I pray on my knees, figuratively of course, I’m not sure how you feel exactly as I have not been in a romantic relationship, at least a healthy Christ honoured relationship with a man in my life. My mother though is unfortunately very toxic to me and my adding to the pain I have had to deal with for about 21 years now. The reality is that I do NOT have the strength to continue with a relationship at all with her, as the second chance I was excited about to make it work. To the point where I broke, snapped as if I was the queen of crazy. I’m sorry I couldn’t help on my part of my relationship with her but it is my fault that I broke down, I allowed her to enter back into my life only to let myself bowing down to her every whim and order. I have released it over God daily sometimes even throughout my day. 😢 again my heart cries out for the individuals that have dealt and deal with reality relief.
Surrendering to Jesus does nothing to change an abuser's behaviour towards you. It may however help you to see in biblical texts as to what kind of leader husband/ shepherd that you submit to and what kinds Jesus used incredibly hard words with and was not in relationship with.
@@belindaauntbhiggins7716 You misunderstand. Everyone has free will. If someone in your life or mine doesn’t want to choose life that’s up to them. I know who I am in Christ. I believe in prayer for those who need the veil taken off their eyes. You don’t know my life in one paragraph I wrote. God bless you and no it is not Gods will for anyone stay in a relationship if they are being abused. I’ve been their too. I’m a child of the most High God and not just calling myself a Christian. I believe he is the God of the possible and I have much faith and will never give up praying for friends and loved one no matter what it looks like. I walk by faith not by what I see. God bless you! God knows what you have been through and he know what I have been through.
@@KJ-lb4tj I never said that my life in Christ could change someone else will.
This has been the most helpful advice/council I have come across on this subject, I have been having a terrible time with all that you've been speaking on and have reached my limit, I cant fulfill my side if he isnt fulfilling his, I dont respect him because his behavior is not respectable, I can't honor someone who is dishonorable. Thank you so much for yr help.
Many years ago, I registered on a Christian dating website. I had a nice profile talking about my experience in many ministries, etc... My boss who was not a Christian but was very handsome and successful posted his profile with a nice picture. He wanted to prove to me that all those Christian women didn't have any values. They were just looking for looks and money. He acted as jerk as he was contacting the women, and many were contacting him. He sent all kinds of red flags, but they kept writing to him. He slept with 6 of those women, two were worship leaders in their churches. I probably had only two or three women writing to me though I've been an engaged Christian since I was 14 years old. Many women will see just what they want to see.
wow
That's pretty sad :-(
I met my husband on a dating app, both of us didn't post our picture profile lol. Yet we quickly fell in love without seeing eachothers faces. I adore my man! He's honestly the best thing that ever happened in my life.
@@autumndavidson8686that’s smart! Like a blind date lol those are fun. I’m happy for y’all
This is soooo good. Lysa has brought me so much awareness to this topic!! Thank you, Lysa for being so real and sharing your darkest moments. You are changing us for the better.
Thanks for watching, Allison!
Thank you! In the middle of an emotional unsafe atmosphere. This is so on target!!
Ya'll just blew my mind. I'm so thankful for this series and all the content you put out. Love the Biblical interpretation by Dr. Joel and the way Jim, Joel, and Lysa break it down and show me how to reorganize my thinking based on the Scriptures!
Thank you for watching, Sarah!
Thankyou guys for this podcast. The Biblical insights by Joel was uplifting and a great encouragement to me. God Bless your great program.
We're glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you so much for this information and your professional perspectives. I NEEDED this sign. I’ve been thinking to myself for quite some time how would God feel if I left this relationship? Would he feel like I gave up ? or would he be proud of me for honoring my needs and leaving someone who was toxic and not willing to take responsibility or change. Yes! Now I know I am making the right decision. Thank you so much!
Thanks for watching, Brittany!
Obeying God might look like we May have to pursue a peace that the relationship may not be fostering. Thank you.
If you're reading this, please pray for me/us. I'm only 6:25 into this episode and it's creepy/painful how accurate it is of my situation.
Thank you for your ministry and for having Jim & Joel on with you! I believe that shows humility and a willingness to vet what you say through licensed academic professionals.
Wow, just finished the show and what a spiritual & emotional gold nugget this has been! I've been dancing with dysfunction for so long and I'm so deep in the cave, unable to see and sort things out. But, this has brought just the slightest glimmer of hope that I've so desperately needed. And again, I love that you have a biblical scholar and a licensed counselor on the show with you. It all equates to bringing such profound wisdom!
This is so helpful!! Thank you all for pouring out and discussing a hard topic with truth and grace!
Thanks for watching, Zoe!
Thank you for this insightful video. I am learning to take all my situations to God because I simply need Him and He knows best for my life. Currently I had to let a friend go because of the violation of my clear boundaries being crossed. It is always difficult when I have to let someone go, but I am learning to be self aware and after much prayer, it has to be done. My motto now, is if an individual doesn't respect you, likes you for who God created you to be, shows sincere empathy, listens, ect., these are red flags and don't get better with time. Let us surround ourselves with Godly individuals, folks who want the best for us, leads us to God, is kind and respectful. Not a lot to ask for in a relationship. Thanks again for your efforts in helping with your videos. They are saving lives!😊
Well said, Sweetheart. VERY WELL, indeed! 🎯♥️💫
Thank you for presenting this in Biblical Principles so that people can sort through the abusers twisted manipulation against Biblical Principles...
Great talk! Super helpful with boundaries! Looking forward to Lysa’s new book. I would also like to add financial, social and spiritual abuse are also forms that go unnoticed/unmentioned a lot.
Thanks for watching, Rachel!
Walking in uncharted territory is always a little scary but well worth the effort to become better.
I just came away from this thinking that everything is "abusive". Like as soon as I am unhappy with my wife because she is consistently rude, I can divorce her because she is rude. I'm sorry but my wife hurting my feelings consistently doesn't mean I can divorce her. I must love her till she is lovely
Rudeness does not necessarily equal abusive. Trust me, if you've been emotionally abused, you'll know it.
Like what you said in the beginning, need to go back after listen to all of it. Definitely my spouse has issues. Now been in a nursing facility over 2 yrs and still will yell at me and tell me I'm wrong. Can't walk, pray for him to be healed but God needs to get to his heart first. Now my older child wants these boundaries and it's more like controlling. Hate it. Wish I could get counsel because all this has wreaked havoc. I'm not perfect but no real support during a horrible time. Spouse told children that he never told me......etc.
Im grateful for podcasts like this one, it was good to listen, a clear transparency during the conversation. It was a confirmation that I am on the right path. Removing my presence is also peace because it prevents chaos (when is needed). “Honor God with your decision”, I’m keeping this one ☝🏼
We're so glad this helped you!
This explains my marriage exactly!! We have now been separated for three years
I'm a male listening to this. I am routinely on the receiving end of red flags 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. Issues are NEVER dealt with and just sept under the rug as fast as possible and almost always met with an emotional explosion that is way beyond what the conversational context calls for. I am often questioning whether I am going crazy. My kids have commented the fact that meaningful addressing and resolution to issues appears to be impossible. Been trying to 'hold' the marriage together for the last 10 plus years with no progress in these areas over that time. It is very discouraging These scenarios are not only experienced by females.
So to sum up honor only what is honorable but love the unlovely.
Both parties in the relationship need healing and acknowledgement of their own brokenness. Grace and mercy and patience and prayer heals. Walk humbly with our God.
I'm glad you said that about quoting scripture my ex had a lot of verses memorized and he seemed to see the right ones to let me know how I was wrong in so many ways
Thanks for this truth, especially in the house of God, where things are usually swept under the rug! Our God is not a God of disorder! Thanks again guys...
Thanks for watching, friend!
Sooooooo glad i listened to this video. It has brought perspectives on my dysfunctional marriage and narcissistic husband. Thank you for letting me be comforted that wanting to separate is not a sin that will sentence me to hell. However, living with the financial, emotional and spiritual abuse for yearsssss is unacceptable and i need to seek help for me and our 3 kids.
Thank you for being here, praying for you friend!
It's good news to hear Jim give his story of "change is possible" for some of these destructive tactics used by many "Christian" men to control others.
Just want to point out at 31:02 after Joel said how satan was gaslighting and being passive aggressive (emotionally abusive) to Eve. He then says "Why didn’t Eve just leave?" (to which he DOES answer his own question - a total mic drop btw! 🎤lol)
But I’d also like to add on, "why didn’t you just leave?" is a common (victim blaming) thought and response said to people in emotionally abusive relationships. Like Eve, an emotionally abused person’s truth is being distorted and they might not know they’re being manipulated 😕 So to anybody who was abused and is beating themselves up for not leaving sooner - please give yourself Grace. (Btw this is NOT me picking on Joel for asking that question!! - Joel you’re great! lol) Anyways LOVE your podcast! You guys are awesome and do an amazing job! All the best 🤍🤍
It's hard to pinpoint because every individual who does it is different some may do it quickly and some regular overtime. But it's always individualized, that in itself can be pinpointed as you put it for difficult or negative criticism.
Well explained how submission is related to marriage. This was my understanding, but I didn't have the words to explain it. Glory to God for your ministry
I feel like this applies to church big time! Pastor/congregant relationships. You never expect it in that setting either.
Thanks for watching, friend!
Please keep having conversations about this. It's very helpful. God bless you!
Thanks for watching, friend!
Oh my..This is MY redeemed story .
I did not find these verses about peace and seperation...and I Ipleaded for my safety and mutual love and would not return without it.
Thank you ❤ I wish I had seen something like this years ago. My ex had me thinking and feeling like I was losing my mind. I was put on medication because he'd lie to the doctor without me in the room. Claims he was only trying to help me stop having panic attacks around him.... 😢
We're so sorry you've had to walk through this. Praying for you right now, friend.
@@OfficialProverbs31Ministries I appreciate all the prayers I get. Bless you all ❤️🙏🔥👑🔥🙏❤️
What you have discussed about passive aggressive, and divorce, has been so helpful to me. Thank you
I am so grateful for this video at this present time in my life! I need this as I am seriously questioning my marriage and to go or not to go. Understanding that there is a higher arche that needs to be followed and we both need to have a fear of God. This brought so much clarity and peace to me regarding my decision. ❤❤❤🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
This is such a great topic. If i can say, Jim, I'm glad you are so passionate about this topic. I would love to hear another discussion that had either fewer figures of speech, or more clearly explained figures of speech. I had trouble following you several times, I'm sure because you are so passionate about what you were saying :-) but some of us need it a little slower/more specifically/clearly explained. I am very hesitant to just believe people on this topic, and I am hungry for what the bible really says... there are so many ways that our own trauma can tempt us to believe something that's not actually scriptural, so it would be helpful to see some of the details more clearly defined. Specifically, the question that was asked wasn't always answered. And there were several times y'all got halfway through a thought before jumping to the next one without finishing the first ❤️ in general, therapy and theology has been a favorite of mine! and this is the first episode I've noticed this in, though I listened to all of the early ones and several of the recent ones.
Bethany, I like them too! However, you arevery perceptive in your observations.
Thanks for watching, Bethany!
Love this series, really helps. A great talk and love all three perspectives.
This interview was so insightful, thank you!
See I’ve learned, researched, and put into practice the best I can. Both my divorced parents are both toxic, and a very unhealthy relationship with each one for specific reasons. Now I have kept my boundaries and both of them at an arms length.
I unfortunately the last two years I’ve multiple surgeries and has left me physically disabled. I have absolutely no one else to to help me in the only my parents are going to do things. They want to do what they think is helpful yet not what I actually need help with. I cannot afford a therapist right now and even if I could I can’t physically get to one.
Am I asking for help yes absolutely but more in the way in the way of prayer.
As my parents don’t have red flags they completely have open on, almost proud of their issues with certain boundaries.
Pray is and always a greatly effective and for this I’m very appreciative of and for my situation.
This is one of the most powerful video conversations on this I have heard. These are wonderful revelations, and it is a great tool for me to give to my!! Thank you!! 😘👍🤗🙏🕊️❤️🔥🙌❤️
I was in an emotional abusive relationship for many years. When you continue to live in passive aggressive relationships, you lose yourself.. 🙏🏻
Married to a Sex addict, intimacy Anorexic for 42 years. He is in recovery. His dysfunction has affected how I deal with the world. I am working on us and me. A whole new paradigm shift for my life. I think I should write a book.
If it breaks trust, it's destructive.
We are also silenced by our internal gaslighting from reinforced self doubt and even worse is the bottom line that "the uncomfortableness" it causes, 98% of people around you. They dont want to accept the real patterned behavior of the person in their tribe. They are ashamed being duped and dont want to upset their social world. Like death unfortunately the world rushes on leaving one to grieve and still try to live. Thank the Lord there is 2% that will believe, support and love you. You are sooo silenced thus their patterns carry on with destruction to those around them.
One has to learn to be comfortable in aloneness and love your new self. Worse than death of a loved one, is when the N destroys what is around you and you are forced to silence by loved ones often involving the innocent souls of children.
Well said. I love you/your heart consciousness. ♥️😘💫
Stay strong (in integrity)! 🫂
Last speaker is brilliant! Addiction and control in relationship.
Great topic ,especially from a biblical principles,I went through abuse for years,and church leaders would councillor me and my husband,that women must submit,it is your cross in marriage, only know after study the whole bible,it was abuse,I am married to narcissistic personality husband, with all due respect to leaders,so me and my husband did not grew up in the same city and never realised my husband's childhood baggage, effect our relationship, because my husband never speak out of his childhood, Mostly emotional abused,in in the last year's of marriage,I am 62 years old and will be married for 40years July 4,but me my husband are separated for 10years now,and I rebuild my relationship with God, restore myself....I was really dysfunctional , confusion, unstable,praise to God for healing...
I can’t even begin to tell you the hurt and pain I went through with a Narcissist in a 42 year marriage. There were so many red flags along the way. Then his latest affair with the married Woman down the street right in front of me. On November 13 2020 I said I was done and left. He contours the affair and lies about me. God has set me free❤!!!!
I need Help I got married last yr. August 15 almost a yrs. An everything that goes wrong he say it all my fault always he will never take blame for anything.
I so much needed to hear this, thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you all! I feel Hope with direction. Even if this Marriage doesn't work out. ❤
Gosh, another spot on video. Just wish I knew about this before an 8 year hell on wheels relationship that ultimately led to divorce 😢
The distortion of the truth or the use of isolated truth-'you were being mean to me' without that truth being connected to the emotional betrayal, lies and threats, and abandonment that was imposed on that person being 'mean' to them is so chaotic (the gaslighting I guess is what it is). But it is so difficult to know if it is being done on purpose or at some level of subconsciousness. Is all passive-aggressive hurtful behavior done intentionally or could it be coming from unresolved phychological issues? I have had physical vertigo before and yes-it feels like emotional vertigo.
I’m in 💯percent stand on all this I go through this in my relationship but it takes a huge toll in my life.
After listening to this program, I see problems in a family situation where both ppl have problems. I see substance abuse with the husband and maybe being clueless in the relationship. I see the wife being extremely passive aggressive. It has gotten so bad that she had the husband arrested making up false allegations. There was a better way to handle this than it escalating to this level of toxicity. When the therapist was talking about the set up to de-regulate someone like putting WD-40 on the floor, oh my that is her to a "T." She is not a Christian. He has been saved, but not living as he should before all this. I see where the enemy really got into this relationship, causing all kinds of havoc.
I can find myself in these too, I love this
This comment is to Joel: near the end at about the 49:40 you were saying....discredit our ??? it sounds like emaryoday. I listened several times and just can't get it. But what you said at the 18:25 really stopped me in my tracks!!!!!!! It was Sooooooo mind blowing ♡♡♡ I thank you for that and I thank ALL of you for such an enthralling video.
I teared up at the end, it is possible to be a light that reflects His Light.
My journey is not finished, but this encouraged me so much, to keep holding on to Jesus.
As I walk through my gauntlet of refinement, healing and freedom.
Refinement from my issues and healing for the ways trauma from others, only emotionally and spiritual, but still impactful, the death by a thousand paper cuts, invalidating, gaslighting, coercive manipulation to stay in toxic situations.
Even as I was trying to build healthy boundaries.
Many disappointing experiences.
But God’s Holy Spirit in Christ Jesus and my ✝️ counselor, helping me the most, others came and went for short times, with some pieces of the help.
This series, is so healing to many times I experienced emotional and verbal abuse from those I trusted, maybe micro, but all this did add to making it so my issues still have their hold on me. Though making slow progress.
Helped improve some, by getting help. But my heart wound is not yet fully healed.
It will take time. And I am getting help.
Entrusting to God the timing.
Glory Is God’s❣️
💖✝️📖🕊💖
Amen! Thank you for watching, friend!
Thank you so much for this talk. It was very affirming and healing to listen to.
Thanks for watching!
My pastor husband kicked me out of every ministry and forbid me to serve anywhere in the church as a form of punishment and to break me and isolate me. Not sure how to live out my God given purpose because I’m pretty sure doormat isn’t a spiritual gift.
Thank you all👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Minute 42, let’s also consider what 1 Corinthians 13 says about love. I love the amplified translation of this.
You three are a godsend! Thanks for sharing 👍 😊
I feel like financial abuse is never talked about. Why do u think this is and I feel like it’s very prevalent and is the leader of MOST emotional, physical abuse. Any thoughts, anyone? I’ve become financially independent to protect myself. It’s exhausting to go it alone in this manner in this world.
Thanks for watching, Mary!
I have to keep saying to the husband -
' I accept...2 mistakes....but a 3rd time - it is a deCISION. ' !
Each time...I catch him out...his
' sorry '....comes straight from his...
throat.¿¡¿¡
He keeps asking for another chance...time after time.
It is now..not anOTHER forgiveness..he needs....it is working to regain my TRUST.¡¿¡¿
Praying for today, friend!
everything I heard tells my relationship is toxic 😢
Good stuff right here! Thanks guys!
I'm not surprised that I keep bonding with people using me as supply by rebounding into the same type of persons over, over, over, over, over again. It is my own fault. But if I want to pull out, people shouldn't be thinking they are keeping a healthy friendship with me by tapping all my electronics.
Great Teaching .
I just got out of a relationship that sounds just like this…I don’t think he intended to hurt me since he has a disability but it was just a misunderstanding that made it worse for both sides…
All of the above
You all are amazing and I so appreciate what you've shared. Thank you for clarifying God's truth! ❤
Thanks for watching!
How can you set boundaries with someone who doesn’t want to have communication? Is impossible to fix the impossible 😓
We're praying for you right now, Emma.
That person is stonewalling you which is also a form of emotional abuse.
PRECISELY! 🎯
They train you and they check of what you do good and what you need help with ..
It is rare that I hear these conversations where emotional abuse is over used.
I love that book im reading it now!!!
For me, I differentiate difficult from destructive relation when one do not feel safe anymore in the situation; especially, physically unsafe.
Thank you for watching, friend!