How To Stop Being Sexually Rejected By Your Spouse
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- Опубликовано: 14 июл 2024
- “I have a strong desire for sexual fulfilment. How can my husband think that because he doesn’t want it, that I don’t need it?! I DO need it.”
“I keep asking my wife to make love with me, but she refuses. She says she’s too tired, she doesn’t feel well, or she says I’m too focused on sex- that I’m a sex addict.”
your.marriagehelper.com/rescu...
Sexual rejection not only affects how you feel about your sex life- it affects how you feel about your marriage. In fact, Dr. Joe Beam earned his PhD studying the correlation between marital satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. There is a world-wide consensus among researchers and therapists that marital satisfaction and sexual satisfaction are strongly connected.
Making love with your spouse is a critical component of your relationship and connection to one another.
If you feel sexually rejected by your spouse we have three specific suggestions. First consider what you desire from your spouse sexually. Is what you desire within his/her physical capabilities; within his/her beliefs and values?
Next, consider how you approach your spouse about what you desire sexually (and why). It’s important to find the right time and setting to have this conversation. You need to explain how you FEEL and not attack your spouse.
Finally, if what you desire is within your spouse’s capabilities and morals; if you are open with them about what you want, how you feel, and how your spouse’s cooperation would make you feel, and your spouse still rejects you sexually, it may be beneficial to seek out professional help. (This may include abuse, rape, or past relationships that still affect your spouse today.)
If your spouse does not want to get help, consider once again how you approach him or her about this. Ask that your spouse does this for you as well as for him/herself. Be supportive.
If you know, or heavily suspect, that sexual issues in your marriage are based out of problems in your relationship, please contact us. We will connect you with the best resource that can help.
Interested in learning more about The Spark Resource by Dr. Joe Beam? Click here: sparkyourmarriage.com/
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Thanks for watching everyone!
I found your video on Covert attractor audit - there's lots awesome videos there that will help out
It hurts so badly to be pushed away
Good
@@cdf9741she is expressing her experience, surely it is bad for anyone, it is very very sad, and hurtful..
Soooo true angelique
Yes it does. I really hide n cry 😢
It has been my situation for a while now. 3yrs or so. Hurts really bad
Yes. I agree
It’s heartbreaking to live this over and over. Being rejected even after countless rational/calm conversations about how we feel and not what the other does, is unbearable. This feels like some type of abuse or neglect. No I won’t go outside my marriage but I’m too young for this to be the rest of my life 💔
This needs to be discussed with counselors
We are not equipped. And partners end up resenting the one voicing it.
It wont, it cant last forever, just do what is right and you wont turn into someone u dont want to be become.
Please leave him
0
I agree and my wife does it and I feel like it’s a power thing to control me or she just doesn’t desire me or love me at all. I have to beg, beg, beg and continuously making moves and she rarely makes a move, she will initiate once or twice a year and she makes excuses every other day or time. The idea of sex with her feels like a favour for me and doesn’t turn me on at all.
When I'm rejected I cry at night sobbing from denial and put my confidence down and tell MYSELF I'm unwanted and not loved.
Wife back door not allowed ect
I've literally sobbed in bed alone, from the overwhelming pain of his rejection.
Love n hugs to you. I have traveled the same journey until I no longer need it. Meaning I no longer love n need him anymore.
Wife back door not allowed ect
@@janicetan6402 wife back door not allowed ect
That's me tonight
@@denisemagee2911 don't die as a disbelievers
This guy is one of the best communicators I have ever seen. His presentation was absolutely perfect.
This is the first actual advice I've heard on this matter. I was prepared to hear the mans side only or be offended somehow but this guy is great. The way he suggests to approach your partner really helps.
I complained to my wife about our lack of sex. She
told me if I didn't like it, then find somebody else,
so guess what!
This is infuriating to me how unsympathetic a partner can be to someone's needs for intimacy! Omg I'm on the receiving end of being rejected by somebody who is constantly saying he's too tired I know he's attracted to me but for some reason he has enough energy to do other things but cant give me 45 minutes out of his time once or twice a week.?
Just seems really selfish, inconsiderate to me and self-centered! Or some other issues.....
and if he's too tired he could cuddle with me and say I miss you I want to be with you etc...
but the fact is these are all signs that somebody just doesn't feel connected to you and doesn't have a desire to touch you or in some cases be touched by you either. Also not want to be touched at all.
Me too. I never thought I'd say that.
Suzi Hazlove I feel the same. I don’t even mind if he said he was tired - but there are other ways to act like you’re attracted to me without having sex - hug me, kids me and give complements - but NO that clearly also requires energy 😔
EmpathEmpire same here 😕😟
Great Video clip! Forgive me for chiming in, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you tried - Mahorrla Intoxicating Pleasure Method (just google it)? It is a great exclusive guide for Giving awesome hand jobs minus the normal expense. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my best friend Jordan after a lifetime of fighting got great results with it.
@SuziHazlove
Same
This is the worse type of rejection n the world... it can make you physical sick :( :(
I am having this problem too. She is so disinterested that breaks my heart. I have a mixture of anger and sadness. She rejects me so often. I have never rejected her. She has called me sex addict. I don't even think about it until I'm home. I don't even want it every day. I don't even like quickies. I want to be closed to her but her rejection hurts me so deep words cant describe my feelings. This type of rejection is also adultery. She is neglecting our vows too. Remember is not only when you cheat you commit adultery.
I know what you mean. I would be thrilled if I just got a hug or a kiss. Some kind of something. I have hit a real low over this. I am made to feel ashamed over this. I am told it must be my fault because of this.
Then it's time to go. Spilt up and find someone else, pretty simple don't you think?
I agree its the most hurtful thing to do to a person. Im close to filing because i cant keep doing this.
That's abuse and neglect. She's selfish and doesn't care about your needs. I'm going through the same and have asked her several times to leave and that I want a divorce. That's when money comes up. She's (my "wife") obviously out for herself and what she can get. I pray for her to leave or find someone else.
I dated a divorced woman who told her ex- husband you don't get married for sex; you get married for relationship. Her ex said sex is love; she disagreed. Clueless never did figure out why she had an hellacious marriage. So glad we broke up!!
This is heartbreaking & sadly, so relatable.
My partner stopped touching me after he moved in over two years ago. He puts a pillow between us in the bed when we sleep together so I sleep on the couch most of the time. I’ve never felt this kind of rejection or depression in a relationship and I’m at a loss for what to do. I’ve explained my feelings in a kind way and have gotten a litany of reasons why. I told him I don’t want it all the time just once a month would be ok and I can’t even get that. It has destroyed what little self esteem I have left.
He is not attracted to you. Time to leave him. He is getting it else where
Girl youre not alone 😪
@@BettySantiago143 better u find another sex relationship
I knew what I was getting into, she was abused as a child, I had to deal with that for years, then she had a medical issue, she had no sex drive at all. I got tired of being rejected, quit trying. Here’s the weird thing , I kinda of got a good feeling not asking for it. I just take care of it myself.
So friggin relatable
I find this video DEEPLY satisfying. The fact that an older man is in touch with his sexuality, his divine masculinity, and his throat chakra is open enough to communicate his true feelings with no shame.
My parents never spoke to me about sex. Sex was shameful in my family. But not anymore.
Carolin....quit plugging your book on EVERY post, please.
So true i have not been touched in over 35 years and will not say why, this is no way to end a marriage, always lonely
Tears out while watching this Video...really need help...
Stop crying I know someone who can help you restored your marriage
Same here🙁
I was in a clinically sexless marriage for 8 years. I never knew men could have issues with sex....now I'm having sex, just not with my husband. Building my life right now, to where I don't need him financially. Men can have issues with sex, too. Rare, but....it does happen.
So you are cheating on him???
The Home Plate Special that’s what I’m wondering
@@thehomeplatespecial597 of COURSE she is..and she didnt just start either lol she just decided to admit it now lol
That's what we women have to do. Survival.
@@suzihazlove4979 yes
I have been without sex for so long that I am basically a virgin again. I am tired of begging. And every video you look up about sexless marriage they blame the women.
Tired of begging. Feel your pain
I am interested to sex with a woman,I am really a fresh man,and I have didn't done sex with anyone, but I interested to do
Isn't it ironic and maddening that there are both men and women in the same situation, each complaining about their spouse or SO? The thing that upsets me so much is the fact that it seems like my spouse doesn't really care if I'm happy. In fact, I asked her once and she said so!
I am going thru this now, and got to thinking I can't even please the one I love and supposedly loves me How can I expect how can I expect to please to please anyone else.
Dr. Beam, you have a soothing voice.
If she doesn’t apologize for rejecting you you need to reconsider your relationship. If she rejects you three times in a row you need a better partner. If she does not initiate sex as much as you are or more you should not be in a committed relationship.
These rules make it much easier, good luck with it
women get sexually rejected also. its hell.
I toataly agree 100% with you it's unfair for a lady to be rejected I honestly don't agree that anyone should be rejected were all adults we should be able to talk about things and sort them out so everyone gets there nice life and needs
This is my life
🙏🙏🙏👍👍🌹🌹🌷🌷
I truly appreciate your videos. My partner has deep internal trust issues ( I've never lied to her or given her reasons not to trust me ) and we've been together 5 years. We're working on things and It's been 6 months since we have had sex. ( usually it was 3-8 weeks ) But we took time and space away from each other because of of issues regarding to being unhappy together ( I always felt rejected ). She's definitely not cheating on me and never has ( it's difficult to explain why I know this ). I however feel a bit frustrated because her counselor told her that "a lot of women end up not desiring or needing sex". Granted she is 38 years old but very beautiful and looks like shes in her late 20's. So it's not because she has insecurities as far as I know. Though she's never been a good communicator which was our other primary issue. I don't know if anyone will respond but I felt like sharing my experience. I was seeing a counselor but would prefer to bring up the sexual things until we go and see a marriage or sex professional counselor.
My wife is asexual and we have been married 23 years. She just realized her orientation about 3 years ago. I have had suicide attempts and major self hate. We are seeking help.
OMG. leaves me speechless
My wife is possibly Narcissistic Personality Disorder and has withdrawn sex to increase control and narcissistic supply.
Reading the comments I am amazed at the same story. The answer is obvious but no one is willing to set expectations and enforce them. If you are with someone who can not meet your needs, you are with the wrong person. Either he/she will do what you want or leave the relationship. Anyone who stays is an enabler who is allowing it to happen.
As me! What is an enabler?
how can a guy EVER go more than a week without sex - I would absolutely EXPLODE - LITERALLY
Get married and find out yourself boss. lol
If you got married, you deserve this. YOU signed up for this. For better or worse. YOU gave her all the power. You dug your grave. Now lay in it.
That’s what I’m doing.
I really have a problem with this withholding argument. If men know sex is emotional for their wife and don't care about fostering that emotional connection or resolving conflict in a loving way, why don't they understand that causes a disconnect to our desire to accept them into our bodies? You didn't convince us to marry you with anger, insults, or conflict. You understood then you had to be desirable to her so why do you expect no requirements for continued access to the most personal part of us?
Of course you're right, but if we do all that and still get rejected the pain is much worse. To try harder to be more loving is to risk a LOT more pain if it's not reciprocated. I agree with you, just showing you the other side you may not see.
And then there are some couples, which argue all the time, but have not any problems in bed. If my wife was in bad mood, my libido flew out the window in lightspeed
Felt this. But you know this is the world we live in. I feel unattractive
I love these videos. This is great advice and I think it's a great reminder that your marriage should be using communication techniques just like your work should be using communication techniques.
Thanks!
Married 13 years no sex 8 years. She refuses unless she wants it
It's been a few months for me...I don't want to wake up one day and say the same thing.-8 years? oh noooo I want it all and it ain't happening here...
Same here. God forbid I initiate it.
Robert Beecher III that was happening to me. I was so tired of the situation that I even considered having an affair. At the end I put an ultimatum on him and suggested that it was posible to find what I was missing somewhere else. For first time he said he was taking me for granted, we talked about the root of our issues, and a knowledge each other’s needs (we where also emotional disconnected from each other)... Now I can tell you that in 4 months we’ve had the sex we haven’t in 14 years. It’s not perfect yet(he’s too vanilla,) but is a work in progress.
Damn. I can see myself now in 8 years. lol
20 years here. Started tapering off ten years ago. As an experiment, I stopped initiating sex to see how long it would take her to say something. I waited six months before throwing in the towel. She didn’t believe me but couldn’t remember the last time we had sex much less when she’d initiated it. It doesn’t phase her in the least. What hurts most of all though is reaching out to touch her and her recoiling physically before realizing what she’s done. She tenses up, goes stiff, and a piece of me dies. I stop taking my meds, drink, or go back to work.
Just subscribed
Rejection sucks. I'm married too this woman for over 37 years.she was molested by her stepdad when she was a teenager.I didn't find out until thirty years in.
No. This won’t work. My wife never wants to talk about sex. If I bring it up, she pretends to get mad to just shut me up. That’s what she does for any difficult conversation.
Then you should leave otherwise just deal with it. Pretty simple don't you think. 🤔
I recognize that behavior
Hmmm am in sexless marriage for six years now and my husband don't care about it.
A Man can't go with out sex , he's getting it from some where . No offense I'm just saying .
@@bgirl1478 you are an idiot
I feel your pain.
Girl deep down you know that isn't true. No one likes being in a sexless marriage. I was in a sexless marriage about a year and even being a girl that was trash
I'm in the same scenario, I think man can go with out sex in his life. But I'm unable to understand his disinterest....?
When I try to express my feelings about how things make me feel. My spouse sarcastically says "Aw poor thing" Absolutely refuses professional help because they want things to stay the same and not change. This has never worked for me. And still doesn't. Hopeless
Sounds like its time for an ultimatum
The main reason why women she is treating like that is called "Feminist movement!"
Feminist teach women that men are not important.
Hi Andre:
Most women will not admit they need help. This feminist movement has convinced women that only men makes mistakes. The other past to this is that when men communicate something women dont like to hear, women will still say we font communicate. The only reason why is that if it communicate they dont like, women feel we are not communicating.
@@robertbeecheriii951 Women do this because of the feminist movement.
I reject my spouse because he has shown he is weak in character and self absorbed. He purposefully disrespects by not listening, gaslighting, and no consideration of my feelings or health. Not the kind of man I want to sleep with. I want someone that will lift me up and help me feel well and loved. Not push me down and drain me into nothing constantly. He also literally does nothing to even get me in a mood. Just expects me to screw him exactly when he feels like it and I am the one jumping through all the hoops to sexually entertain him. As a woman I am more emotionally driven sexually than physically. If the emotional part is all wrong I am definitely not going to be there hot and ready. I have lost all respect due to lack of respect being given on multiple levels. I am to the point of disgust and find him repulsive. everything revolves around him and screw what I want or need. it is easier to label me as difficult to please and that he can never do anything right. I am to the end of my patience with this relationship, because it is not a mutual relationship and never has been. A big spoiled man child is NOT SEXY!!
Shall we start a new relationship
Say something
It's obviously not that bad if your still in the relationship or your simply just as selfish and self-centered as he is by staying. You should look in the mirror first.
I totally understand your points. I've asked my husband repeatedly over many years to stop lashing out in anger. It's simple if you're nice and connected to me emotionally I enjoy sex. If you're mean, rude angry or verbally abusive I lose emotionally connection to you!! Fix the connection you fix the sex. Simple solution. He's stubborn though.
If my wife constantly accuses me I begin to feel I am no longer her match.
It does hurt bad when I get rejected! I’m hearing I’m tired!
So what do you do if the rejection continues... in spite of doing all than is said here including seeking professional help?///
My wife rejects every approach and intimacy with me, she will leave as soon as I reach out to touch against her. She tells me that my touch makes her skin
I really need help on this,coz I don't value him as I used!!!I'm feeling hattred for him,and my heart is cold towards him
We reject our husbands because we know what they’ve done! We’re not stupid even though they deny it. We’d rather find sex elsewhere than to ever let our husbands to ever touch us again. Forgiveness is not easy to give to someone who will continuously make the same errors. We’re done...how does it feel!
@@melodycarrillo2461 You are jumping to conclusions about something you know nothing. 40 years of marriage to somebody who is an Aspie is hell but I am still there and still loyal. take your misplaced man-hating and aim it elsewhere. I have never been unfaithful or dishonest to her. She is the same to her adult children whom I brought up after her first husband left.
@@melodycarrillo2461 then you should not really complain, if he divorces you or cheats on you.
I stopped having sex for the same reasons a woman would. Too many inconsistencies, infidelity and red flags which made it impossible for my mind to react to my body. As much as I wanted her I still couldn’t fix myself to trust her not only with my heart but also sexually. Sound crazy coming from a man but all so true and no I never cheated in any of my relationships. Even while communicating and working through things offensive things still happened which never allowed me to open back up. I was stuck i a place where I was feeling wrong about my own need of building and progress in life or continue to feel how I was feeling and continue building with someone where hope was dying in all ends of our relationship. Trying to find yourself while being with someone you thought was apart of you is hell and no one can make you a cheater you cheat because you want to it determines character but I say be you and continue to grow despite of whom comes in your life even if it is someone you love.
i enjoyed your video, and its sad that i know what you are saying is true, nothing is worst that the lack of intimacy, makes me feel so alone, and not worthy.
We went on vacation recently and NOTHING and i asked yesterday and NOTHING
My wife gave up the day after we got married not exaggerating.she has emotional baggage and brought it to our bed.has father figure problems and brought them to our marrige.blames me for her past problems.calls me.perverted whenever I want to love her.the more I think about my marriage the more I see no hope.God help me I'm at a loss
Cant get any where with this when my man won't hear of it.its all my fault cuz I cant keep my mouth closed trying to voice my feeling...that im dieing Alitalia bit every day being rejected every day for months and months.iv got to relize I dont matter.
I just think he’s selfish and hard headed! It’s sad but true!
My husband told me he can't have sex because of a medical condition. ... Pretty sure he has sex with his affair partner though. ...
At least you know the truth.
Right
That is brutal. Sorry to hear.
I'm so sorry!
It's weird that women in this comment section are complaining that husbands are not giving them sex. Yet when we husband start to increase the frequency, then you wives complain. I really thought that's how women like their marriages. Women give alot of sex during dating but after the wedding, sex is over.
Wow going through the same thing my husband has ED because of health problems but ask him to get help but said no what a wife to do?
So many treatments for this problem now. AlwAys puzzles me when I hear woman say they have been in a sexless marriage cuz husband or partner has ed
It's sucks because you know there's help for Ed. But they still choose to withhold. Just leaves you feeling so undesired and question yourself and everything else.
My wife had 7years affair while I'm away. She ended the relationship after my children arrived to be with her. When I finally with them, she refused to to make love with me citing she felt dirty and she's numb about sex anymore because of guilt. If I insist to make love with her, she accused me of lusting her only. I don't know what to do. I already forgave her infedelity but our relationship is now in the lowest point. Divorce or separation is the only option I see right now. How about my children?
to answer the head line "You Cant" how do I know ? I been told so despite after 20+ years of marriage
What if my husband not feel always make love but if he get drunk he do everything. he is saying it’s not important to him but first time we met we make love a lot! I know he hve other woman that’s why I feel it , so what will I do?
Just leave him,and stay happy
All I want to do is service her and I she won't let me. It isn't me. She doesn't want to touch me. It's me touching her. Being with her.
Hopefully today will be different 🙏🏽
what do you do to let some one know your not rejecting them because of past abuse your getting help but its taking to long to heal . you love them and i don't want to lose them but its not looking good.
Simply say it. If he understands and is willing to stay in that situation until your healed then great, otherwise you are just being selfish by letting your partner think they're the ones with the issue.
My mate rejected me years ago. It’s her loss. The only one doing without is her!!
couldn´t find your homepage, don´t know why it can´t be found
Hi, Sun! Our website is www.marriagehelper.com.
No sex means no attraction!!! Facts!! I am not attracted to my hubby anymore sadly. So I do not want to have sex with him!! It sucks!
S
Then why don't you just leave him.. you're just being selfish..
@@profitkingsacademy4027Exactly, amazing how people blame everyone but themselves for their situation. SMH
Brooke....thank you! Same boat here. My wife's attitude destroyed her attractiveness. The wrinkles and 40 to 50 lb gain made it much worse. I live her but am not in love with her...am repulsed to even kiss her now.
That’s selfish as hell! If that’s the case then get a divorce! The amount of stress you’re putting on your husband is very hurtful!!
I'm in my 40s now only and I have this problem... Should I stay or should I go
Go
Im about to go
This guy was Ron Jermeys mentor LMAO
I just wanna be desired and wanted and need. I need affection.
Sound like the first guy didn't know how to have intercourse .So sad when a grown man doesn't know how to treat a woman in bed. of course every woman is different and we all know what we like .
B girl it's not that I don't know how to please her,it's that fact that I am continuously rejected by her.
Ahhh the typical toxic woman. Always blaming the man.
People have sex everyday??? My boyfriend and I only have sex like 3 times in 4 months..... depressing
I'm no expert on this subject..but no one has to stay in a cold sexless marriage unless they just want to..that is called marriage abuse..read first Corinthians. 7:1-5... of course medical reasons would be the exception.
The one I know about rejected hids wife for years because hes cheating on her. She was always more secual he was mostly wanting to sleep or watch tv things were better than ever for years she was thrilled he usually was not wanting to even when dating she should have cheated. She nevrr said no she loved sex he cheated on her 35 years.
Hopefully she left that relationship, staying with a cheater never works out. Once a cheater always a cheater.
Did I miss the part where he tells you how to not be s*xually rejected anymore? Or was it clickbait
THE PROBLEM IS THEY ARE HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE THEY ARE ONLY THINKING OF THEMSELVES SOMETIMES.
I deny intimacy/ sex to my partner... so much Scars of passed misbehaviors how can I hug/kiss/ suck/ lick someone that have no sympathy EVER for my needs..I do feel selfish but I have no desire to kiss my emotionless husband.. 🥺
Leave her!!!
How to cope with an asexual husband?
Dr.Thomson Morgan Just as simple as this... He is just uninterested in sex and it took me years to finally get that!
@@tatianachama4305 better u find another relationship
I recently found out about a affair my husband had five years ago. a week ago he had total knee replacement it’d been six weeks he is allowed back to work and he added work on the week ends he turns me down and says it’s his knees. I am so hurt.
You should definitely get out of that situation, take half of everything and start a new life. Life's too short girl.
Get a DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Women are active UNTIL they get the nest build.
I was told by my husband I was a nympho but he was watching porn. 🙄
Girl same here!
Shoot this guy makes me laugh 😂 a he’s right
Aren’t there any well ended stories? It stays so hopeless now.
There is. I got out of a terrible depression caused by this reason, collected myself together through the therapy and self help and left the dysfunctional relationships behind. Feeling tremendously better.
Most sexless problems originate from a spiritual spouse, which is attached to a spouse or yourself. Seek out information on it, then seek for online deliverance or go to a pastor. There are books on it, also 🕵🏾♂️.
Dangerous Doctrine
He still doesn't hear me
No. Thank you
@@blacks2022 how many years before ur marriage was over
Cheating husbands stoo having sex w their Wife neglecting her shes not as young and thin as evil home wrecker audultorer.Infuriating and must be humiliatingcant be younger very deceitful and cruel sexual betrayal.
24/7 lol would be great
Leave.
Same is with me
My SPOUSE REJECTS ME
I HAVE been listening ALL THESE EXCUSES FROM HIM SINCE LONG
How many years before ur mrg was finished
Most Men don't take directions !
@Michael T the 2 I had in last 40 yrs. Don't. Ego...
I have to agree with you 🕵🏾♂️! I see it on my job, they have a hard time as team players also.
Lol
When my wife was young and pretty it was always a problem to have sex. Now it's 20 years later and a 100 lbs later she is hot to trot and can't understand why I checked out years ago.
Because she is 100 lbs later and she wants to ensure you stay around.