How Can You Master Self-Control and Self Trust |
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- Опубликовано: 10 июн 2024
- How Can You Master Self-Control and Self Trust | #AskaTherapist //
Are you wondering how you can master self-control and self trust? What are some valuable tips that can help you master self-control and self trust? Watch this video to learn why you deserve to master self-control and learn to trust yourself.
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00:00 How can you master self control and self trust
00:45 My childhood
02:45 Understand your vices
04:13 Self Mastery
05:00 Self Love
07:00 Replace old habits with healthier options
09:30 Mistakes don't define us
#selfcontrol #masterself #mendedlight #jonathandecker
• How Can You Master Sel...
I came to the realization that I don’t really trust myself. I had no idea where to start and then this popped up 16 seconds after you posted it. Thank you. This was the sign and support I needed.
I had that realisation yesterday, so this video is very timely.
Every single day I can find traces of my self-loathing in not controlling my time and input. I know I could have achieved a lot till this day. This video was of great help, so I could reboot my thinking. But, will get back to it 100s of times.
I never really learned to trust myself until my wife and I had to live in 2 separate countries for 6 months. I had never lived alone before and never felt trusted to do anything on my own before. Living alone showed me I am capable and I can take care of myself from time to time. I have confidence in myself for once
As a fellow member of our faith, I appreciate you being vulnerable. I think many of us struggle with the same things. Your videos have consistently encouraged me, especially as a husband and father.
This and Cinema Therapy. I've been watching since 2020 and tbh your Inside Out video made me realize my roommate was being abusive, manipulative and pressuring me under toxic positivity. I've learned a lot from your channels, and I recommend them to a lot of people:3
Same, one of the reasons i am excited to watch yt is because of their channels
Thought: contrary to regular use of the word, trust is not a binary thing, something you give or remove. Instead, trust is an understanding of what to expect. Building trust, with yourself or anybody, comes through experience. Trust is the colourful and alive and ever growing insight that emerges after some extensive, careful, blind prodding into the unknown. Build trust in yourself by trying new things, and experiencing that version of yourself that is brought out. Get to know yourself. Get acquainted with your intuitive responses, likes and dislikes, your unique qualities and performance in unique situations. Love yourself by being curious and daring. Do the same for others in your life: do not become complacent with the familiar faces and behaviours, but do new things together to bring new depths to the relationship.
In regards to failure I agree that is best to hold yourself to realistic expectations.
For example I have been dieting for two years now. Sometimes yes I break my own rules but I know that will happen and I go back to it the next day.
I think of it like this. If a sports team won 45 out of 52 games, would you consider them a failure? Of course not. So if you set yourself goals and are able to achieve them more often than not then you are doing well and certainly much better than you were when you started.
Good advice. Thanks. I need this, not just with dieting, but in so many places in my life ❤
I was bullied as a kid, in large part looking back because I didn't so social very well. Instead of eating my feelings, I fed them to my self image and convinced myself the bullying was proof I was better than everyone else. I'm 63 now and I still struggle with that. I need to better myself, not be better than other people. I was a pastor for 32 years, and while I can see a lot of good that I've done, I also see how I built barriers to real connection with people. I'm an author now, and I work through a lot of this through my writing. It is a way of testing if I am trusting myself enough to not need to compare myself to others.
One of the mantras I love to use; for myself, someone I'm teaching, or a friend struggling with a new hobby. The first step to being good at something, is being bad at something. The trick is to learn how to look at mistakes positively, expecting you'll make them, and making sure youre in a safe environment to make those mistakes.
I have been on my own self love journey these past couple of years. It is hard and I know that I still have a ways to go but by trying Im not giving up. Im not giving up on myself and that sometimes is the biggest motivator. To look at yourself in the mirror and say "I'm not giving up on myself"
Thank you for sharing your story. I've lived a life much like Quasi- minus the religion- from your video on your other channel. I was 27 when I met people who helped me see the best of myself and it changed my life. As someone who is Borderline, ADHD, and undiagnosed Autism, as well as Severe GAD and Chronic Depression: my confidence got messed up during covid. I'm in a verbally and mentally abusive relationship I'm trying to get out of. .. I remember confidence and I mask alot so I'm controlling myself so much I feel extra trapped. My confidence is buried. I'm too poor to accomplish my life goals and I'm tired all the time. I'm stuck in my mind all the time and lack motivation because I'm not happy. I don't know what that is much, these days. But this channel really does help brighten my day when ya'll post.
I feel exactly the same way tbh tired all the time and too broke to do anything about it.
I'm so sorry you feel that way. Both of you. I've been here for a while too, although my fatigue has more to do with being pregnant. It's still a doozy to deal with. I've also just come out of the hole of depression fatigue as well so I know something of what that's like. I wish I knew how to make it just go away, but it doesn't really work like that. Sometimes the answer is just sit. Sometimes the answer is get up and do something that you are proud of. For me that looks like accomplishing some of the ambient housework that always needs doing because kids. Sometimes that diving deep into a rabbit hole of geeky interest like family history or costume sewing. I find that doing something usually works better for me, even if it putting one single thing away. I can point at where it was and say I did it. I took care of that. I know this isn't much, but I really do hope you find a happier place in your head and for your body to be.❤
I wish you the best, from a fellow AuDHDer. I recommend looking into DBT, as CBT doesn’t help me too much since I struggle with over processing information so much that I’m unable to really feel my emotions until I meltdown. DBT: DEARMAN has been extremely helpful for me and family and friends I’ve shared it with to help create a script for setting boundaries or saying no while maintaining relationships and/or keeping you safe. Diagnosed ASD at 19, I’m now 21 and have since had a mental health special interest specializing in AuDHD issues and hope to pursue that path for work. I just want you to know you aren’t alone, and I have a lot of tips to share if you have any questions. (An ice pack along my vagus nerve really helps to switch your nervous system from sympathetic to parasympathetic, I swear by it to help with anxiety, panic attacks, meltdowns, and even cyclic vomiting syndrome[“stomach migraines”]).
This was a good one for me to hear today. Been feeling very lost and weak lately, and not even trying to fight my addictions.
I love cheap crappy food so much and I'm sure it's taking a toll on my body. There's rarely an overlap of the "affordable, delicious and healthy" circles so I usually cave and go for affordable and delicious. I'll try to strategize getting my diet better.
Well done for keeping going, I find not focusing on food helps... if I've exercised I feel good and am more conscious what I eat.
I love fruit. I really love most food, but especially fruit. So make sure that I stock my fridge with a good amount of it so that will be what I reach for instead of chocolate (my other great love). Fruit is fairly cheap and stores well once you know what you're looking for in terms of ripeness and acceptable damage. And it's really fun to pair with just about anything. So if you really feel the strongest desire to give in to that burger, get the burger and some fruit or veg on the side instead of fries. Or if ice cream is what's going to hit the spot, add some blueberries, or even skip in favor of frozen raspberries. Those things are delicious.
Ha ha! Sorry for the TLDR post - I got carried away! 😂 There are a ton of good videos and channels and web posts / blogs on healthy AND tasty and budget meal prep. Just search "budget meals" or "budget and healthy" meals or meal prep and a lot should come up.
I find if I have healthy, tasty (and affordable) food ready in the freeze and fridge, I can just grab that or pop a single serving from the freezer into the microwave and I'm not hungry anymore or tempted to get or eat junk food. Also not keeping junk food in the house helps (as long as I have fast tasty options available too).
Meal and food prep for me is key. Also I always have a few raw ingredients on hand that I can turn into food in just a couple minutes which is faster than fast food or takeout. I can mix up a can of tuna or cook 1-2 eggs or more in less than two minutes. Canned beans are handy too - fat free refried beans, seasoned black beans, etc. I can save even more money if a meal prep and fees portions of beans I cook in a slow cooker from dried beans which are really cheap. Cook up with shredded cheese and or nutritional yeast and salsa and put on a tortilla and that's a decent meal (or heated up frozen veggies, etc). There are low carb egg white based tortilla and felt bread recipes that are fast and easy and cheap to make too.
A tin of tuna packed in water, drained, then mixed in a bowl with a tbsp of low fat mayo and shredded cheddar cheese and microwave and that's a quick snack or meal. Put on sprouted grain toast or bread and it's a cheddar melt. Skip the cheese and just add Dijon mustard and low fat mayo and any other seasonings and that's just a good tuna salad.
I shop around and find the best prices for eggs. Even today, 18 eggs are $3.00 at Target, less at my gas station convenience store. I can whip up one or two in a bowl with a few seasonings and cook that up in a stick free pan without oil under two minutes.
I buy bags of frozen precut broccoli florets or chopped broccoli, or brussel sprouts, , throw that in a bowl and 5-7 minutes in the microwave it's done. Mix it with 1 tbsp low fat mayo and seasonings (I like Dijon mustard and nutritional yeast and paprika but just mayo and mustard works and or a little garlic and onion powder) and mix all that together and sometimes that's a whole meal for me. Paired with tuna or eggs for more protein. Frozen veggies are fast and easy but I think raw they're a little cheaper, so when I have the time, I prep my own frozen veg by buying heads of broccoli, rinse them then chop them up and steam them in the microwave. Then let cool and bag or store in single size servings in the freezer to hear up in the microwave.
I have a good protein powder or meal replacement powder with the flavor I like (vanilla, chocolate, chai, etc) for a quick meal when in an even faster hurry.
I also like having a container of unsweetened cocoa powder (I buy generic) on hand. I mix 1-2 tsp with cold water and a half dropper of non caloric healthy sweeteners like liquid stevia or glycerated stevia or erythritol to taste and mix well to satisfy cravings for cold chocolate milk or chocolate ice cream or candy, or use hot water for a hot chocolate craving.
@@tinaperez7393 There's a supermarket that does 19p veg at holidays and that has ju8st come to mind when you mentioned sprouts. I live with my dad so a recipe like that would be seen as too weird and different if I were to cook it for myself but that sounds amazing.
I was diagnosed with autism at 19, I’m 21 now, I’ve always thought of myself to be “too self aware for therapy” until I found a neurodivergent therapist. She actually understands me and can follow my anecdotal connections so I feel free to ramble on and have her help in connecting the dots. I’ve masked my autism by being a people pleaser and gifted student. I burnt out 2 weeks into my second year of college living in a sorority house. (Yikes, it’s almost comedic how ironic it was). Being the good girl who followed rules very strictly, college shook me and the norms I learned to adapt to no longer applied. I’m learning to break down the shell of a person that I was and am trying to trust myself, while respecting the inner child who had been hurt by others when she was just being herself. I want to trust me, because I know I thoroughly analyze everything, but it’s hard to trust myself when a lot of the people in my life don’t understand why I can’t bounce back into the mask I upheld for 19 years.
I grew up in an abusive household, the people that were supposed to love me unconditionally gaslit, manipulated and beat me. I learned at about age eight or nine that if I didn't love myself, no one would, because even the people who were supposed to didn't. I've always had a lot of personality, been odd or strange, and I love that. I trust myself to make the best decisions available, and work hard to get where I want. It's been a long and difficult trek, but I haven't spoken to any of my abusers in at least four years, some have almost been a decade.
I have to say something. Well, I don't know if you're getting notifications on this or any of your older videos, but I've been going through a lot of your older content and leaving comments of varying (but usually long) length, so I mean, I've BEEN saying lots of somethings.
But this...this got to me. I recently turned 46 and I've struggled my entire life with anxiety and depression and the host of issues that come with those things, ranging from social anxiety, emotional dysregulation, and a profound sense of self-loathing. I've also experienced various traumas: my parents hated each other for the duration of their marriage but refused to get divorced, and then they responded to my coping mechanisms with abuse. A few years ago I was mugged at knife point while I was studying abroad, which compounded the anxieties I lived with and set me several steps back on progress I'd made getting therapy. I have an entire host of unhealthy behaviors that have disrupted my personal relationships, caused significant problems with my ability to work and go to school, impaired my ability to respond proportionally to different stressors, affected my sleep patterns, even severely obstructed my ability to focus on the routine matters of managing my home: paying bills, maintaining a clean living space, etc.) I'm pretty damn messed up and I have been for nearly the entirety of my life.
So anyway, I was going through a number of the videos here, especially focusing on this and others that involve emotional wellness and trauma, and this one in particular really stood out for me, to watch you summon the courage to put yourself out there like this. I've been having crying jags off and on this evening as I go through them all, because I keep hearing you put voice to so many of the things I've lived with, and still do, that just HURT. I've felt more seen tonight than I have in a very long time, and I wanted to take the time to let you know that I just appreciate it so much.
I love how brave and vulnerable you are.
I am so glad, that i have found you Jonathan, you as a person and also the channel cinema therapy(and Alan ofc) as well. You taught me so many things in such a small amount of time that, I can't stop feeling happy whenever i see an update of your videos in whatever channel. This video hits hard and i am definitely sending this to a friend who i believe needs to hear those words. Lots of love❤️ so glad i have found you, be well and keep loving yourself
What is really helping me is therapy, and exploring many things related to psychology. Trying to understand the behaviour of people who raised me and surround me, also helps me understand myself. I'm a starting to see how we are all individuals but at the same time we come together and strongly influence each other. As an example, what my parents lived affects my life in so many big and small ways. Understanding their path has helped me understand mine, and it has also helped me to be more forgiving towards them and then again forgiving towards myself.
I always held awful grudges against people and myself and now I'm starting to release and I can approach things with much more love. But I still have a long way to go, it's only the beginning.
it’s freaky being 20 and trying to get to know myself and grow, since many people older than me tell me that they thought they understood the world at 20 but were wrong. i struggled with mental health and destructive habits all through my childhood and teens and taking control of my life now is something really scary. building a foundation for self trust is something that will likely take my entire life to do, since life has its ways of throwing stuff at you, but i’m trying to remember that even if i don’t see the world the same way when i’m older, it’s important to build a foundation for the me i am now. and to me, that is self love
Ouch! I feel this one! I have battled with weight and eating my whole life and whenever something goes wrong I start the negative self-talk it will invariably include how I look. Taken some time off work to work on my mental health and physical
My best friend actually introduced me to Cinema Therapy, and through that I found this. So far both have been helping me mentally in the past 6 months since I have never really loved myself. Between lack of connections in my friendships as a child, being bullied for emotions too, to my really bad toxic codependent relationship with a guy I'm pretty sure is a narcissist that took me a while to leave. 2020 became my year of starting over, breaking free from that relationship and lucking out to still have my friends there to support me when they can since. I've only recently in the past 3 years been on a journey of becoming more independent and being able to not only rely on myself but to grow into a better person that I can look at in the mirror every day. Its been rough but this video and a few others really helped. Thank you for making both content. It helps knowing I'm not the only one with bad experiences, and hearing I can get better just like others before me. Just gotta not give up and keep going.
I've recently begun a journey towards gradually accepting the fact that learning and growth are constants. Part of that may be realizing that I don't trust myself. There have been times when I don't try because I fear failure or never getting anywhere despite effort. Maybe if I could accept failure better,than it would hurt less to try.
Cannot say how I appreciate to find this content on youtube. Reducing my addiction to waste time on videos I know, this videos are of high-importance and my will to get through them with total attention makes it valuable time spend to give me compassion, grace and understanding. Self-trusting to not go over the limits and to think over and practice those advices from you, Jonathan, it's so high pleasure. Hope my addiction never jeopardise this.
Let me tell you something because I can relate to these subjects- Being a sociopath I rarely trust anyone if at all. I learned to trust myself first and for most. Self control is something I still struggle with to this day. But being a martial artist for many years I train my body and my mind, a daily habit an hour of meditation which is a healthy habit. But I do have some unhealthy habits as well like- Smoking or eating when I need comfort which these things doesn't fail to supply. I also suffer from daily agonizing pain duo to non severe spine injury, and I keep using Oxycodone 30mg a day to shut it up. As if I am screaming at the pain "Shut up! Shut up! I don't want to feel you." What I do want to ask regardless- I am a combination of PTSD and sociopathy, both creates social anxiety. How do you live with either of these problems? What can I do to have a better life?
Jono: (if you see this) Thanks for covering this topic. It's a very important and common one. And thank you for always sharing what relevant personal experience you have. It helps us let down our guard and have the bravery to face our own problems and find the solutions to them.
But also, (and this is probably the least important of the subjects you touched on in this video) and I've said this before in previous comments of videos where you've mentioned the thing about being insecure and self conscious about your looks:
1) as a grown, mature adult who's wiser about the world now than as a kid or teen or just younger guy in general, I'm sure you know that what makes people REALLY beautiful to others is how they make those others feel and how they show up for them and what they mean to them in their lives. That's why it's hard to look at one's friends, family members, and loved ones and objectify them / assess their "beauty" purely based on their visual physical looks. Because they look beautiful to us no matter what they look like.
2) you have the only beauty that counts which is whole person beauty - people love you cuz of what a helpful, kind, wise, smart, good person you are and the way you treat others and the good things you do.
AND you also have all the extra "sprinkles" on top of all that, like fun personality, fun to be with, sense of humor, sense of fun and adventure, curiosity of the world, way you see the world, intelligence, interests, talents, wisdom, perspectives, skills, etc, etc.
3) as to the extremely unimportant/ lesser important quality of physical appearance/ physical "beauty", it honestly never occurs to me to think about until the topic comes up. And then I would say:
a) I think you have perfectly normal absolutely decent good looks where your looks wouldn't be calling unusual attention to yourself or your looks, anywhere you went. You look perfectly normal and absolutely on the good / attractive / handsome end of that range.
b) if I had to analyze your looks further, like really zero in and critique, I would say you also have unusual looks but in a good way - the way certain actors and celebrities do - where they might have an unusual look to them but somehow it adds vs detracts and it makes them extra attractive and unique. You're 100% good looking but you have a uniqueness as well that can also qualify you as striking. Put you in the hands of a good model photographer and you'd fit right in on the pages of GQ etc. I mean Seth Rogan was on the cover and managed to look good and you're 1 million times better looking than him.
I was a fan of some 80's tv camp classics via my mom and there was this stunning actress, Morgan Fairchild that I always think you look like you could've been her twin.
There are so many unique looking celebrities that almost because of their unique look they stand out and are extra attractive. I mean Daniel Craig looks like Doby from Harry Potter but he's also friggin James Bond and a Tag Hauer model. Gemaine Clement, Richard Ayoade, Russel Brandt, (heck even Seth Rogan manged to get fit and look good in GQ), Yul Brynner, Jason Alexander, Patrick Stewart, Nick Offerman, Nick Kroll, the list is endless. There is truly of vast variety of "Man beauty" and all human physical beauty, really.
4) and always always always, it's the person inside that matters in the end anyway. An unfortunately looking troll under a bridge can become beautiful and a super model can become ugly all in an instant based on how they are as people and how they treat others.
5) btw, the bits I've seen of the movie you and Alan made based on Jack Bauer when you were in college I thought you looked REALLY good in - I was like what? That guy didn't have a line of girls outside the door? How exactly? You were hot! (Still are). But yeah yeah yeah - you had some maturing and growing to do personally, like we all did at that age. You've described your life and level of self development, growth, security, confidence and state of mind in college and your early twenties so that's the only reason I can think of that would explain it. And of course, everyone else is trying to find themselves and grow up too at that age so it's an oddity but a truth that youth and good looks rarely means automatic happiness and success in one's love life / life in general.
Best comment!!!
Whenever I’m afraid and don’t know what to do, I’ve realized it’s because I don’t trust myself. Once I trust myself, self-control becomes and act of kindness self-acknowledgement and forgiveness. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last forever (or that long), but I am glad to know that I know how to get back to it… sooner and with more grace. Truly, it is (for me) a life practice.
Last summer was purposefully dark. I wanted to live out what i felt inside everyday in real life, literally. So i spent most of last summer or the end i should say, in the dark, using my vices, journaling and facing my trauma. I heard myself so clearly that it created this bridge of communication where my inner child and adult version could come together and appreciate one another. That is where I began my self mastery. I would say 4 years prior to that, maybe even 3 is when I began developing self trust through counseling. Maybe even more after. I found myself caring less about outside opinions and honing in on what I really thought, but it wasn't until last summer when I think I fully trusted myself on the decision to heal right then, right now. It is a hell of a journey and I find so much peace in solitude now. As a state of living, like I yearn no more for outside companionship. There is a solidarity to me that wasn't ever going to be there if I didn't hear the child inside cry. When I stopped talking over her wails, not only did she stop crying but she actually looked at me. We acknowledged each other, that connection alone changed my life. Now there's a wholeness that I feel constantly that I adore. I couldn't be more aligned than I am in this moment. I can't wait to continue, for once in my life.
Adding to everyone saying they needed to hear this today...this was exactly what I needed to hear today! Chronic pain due to various medical things has led to weight gain for me recently and I don't feel like myself. Crap food because I'm looking for dopamine as a pain killer. Less energy for exercise. But I can do baby steps at least.
I'd like to thank you for being so open and vulnerable here. Self-Trust is also a very hard thing for me to do and I struggle a lot with it. Some things happened which caused a complete mentally crash and now I have to look at all little pieces and how to rebuild them and into what form, as the old one didn't function anymore.
I also want to point out, that you are a wonderful "example" for a "wounded healer" and I like to listen to you. It's calming, encouraging and soothing. Thank you so much for doing this work.
I find myself tearing up as I watch these videos. So much is coming out in me and it’s both great and terrifying. I’m learning and healing ❤
this is a great point, and the connection between the two isn't something I thought of before.
one of my biggest vices is being quick to argue and over-explaining my opinions. Thinking about it this way, the "what's the drug really for" analogy, it's because all my life, through being a kid to high school to now, I had to deal with people dismissing me as stupid, uninformed, an idiot, and not trusting me because of these assumptions. I'm always afraid that people won't trust me or listen to me, because they think I'm stupid. As a woman, this is a large part of my daily experience, and as an artist, many people assume I can't handle anything more complex than algebra. I'm an expert in my field and even teach, so I'm not an idiot, and I know that- so why do I have to prove it by voicing such things? Who am I trying to prove myself to? Maybe it's just myself.
I appreciate the insight, this channel is extremely helpful, thank you.
Half way through and having all the feels and fighting the urge to cry.
I just started on this road to love myself. I'm really glad that I found this video and I'll be watching many others. Thank you! We are all on a journey, so no one is truly alone in that.
We are posting a podcast on self-trust tomorrow! Such an important concept!
I went through an experience where a younger kid got put in a bad situation because I was manhandled by my aunt after trying to leave a situation that was progressing into a fight. I felt responsible even though I was a teenager. I understand now that I wasn't the person who had any control over the situation. I was forced to be at her house and the reason for the situation was, because I didn't want to stay the night. I tried my best to prevent it every step of the way and the perpetrator of the event hasn't felt the guilt I've felt for years afterward. I can trust that i wasn't the one at fault. Recently she has sent another kid to the hospital and tried to assault her husband. I did the best my 16 year old self could do, and I don't hate that version of myself and can love her as well.
Truly one of the absolute best videos I’ve ever seen or heard! This is all so true. Self love is the foundation of everything. Self trust is easier when you have self love. Thank you so much for this!
I really needed to hear this today. Currently struggling daily with implementing the difficult steps to build up my self-trust again; really has been God's provision stumbling upon this video tonight. Thanks Jono 🙏
omg this video is so needed, I am indeed addicted to escaping by using YT, shows, Instagram and others
I love the honesty and vulnerability here. I think the advice out there seems so cliche and meaningless because so many people choose not to be when creating content like this.
My soon to be fiancée and I have been trying to quit smoking for a few years now. We are finally making noticeable progress by replacing it with exercise. I've always knew it was an escape but could never put it into words. I really enjoyed this video, thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I've been through something similar myself, however I haven't mastered/replaced the workaholism side of me yet. Hopefully, soon I'll get to grips of it😊
Fav channel on the whole RUclips
Wow. This was so vulnerable and very helpful. I also struggle with eating, and honestly, I'm so stressed out right now that I don't really want to work on it, but I have made a few low-level changes like buying more fruit and vegetables, switching to a double-shot latte instead of a triple shot, and switching from Kraft mac and cheese to a more nutrient-filled brand (goodles). I *really* love what you said about music. Music releases endorphins and also helps with focus, motivation, and movement, but even though I teach Kindermusik, sometimes I forget to activate my own daily healing and productivity with music, so thanks for the reminder!
Can you maybe do a post about controlling panic-fueled anger outbursts? Not that I have a problem with that - asking for a friend :)
Wow I seriously needed this video. I connected so much to thinking that: "if everyone else actually knew you they wouldn't love you."
I always struggled with self love and see now that it has made it so I can't trust myself either. I think some of that comes from being unable to forgiving myself. I hold so much guilt for things I've done in the past that can't trust my own judgement. I think I'm also scared to let go of that guilt as part of me feels I need it to not make the same mistakes again. I also feel that I somewhat deserve those feelings for the choices I made. I realize this is a harmful mindset, but I can't seem to move past it. I know I need to let go, but don't know how.
Probably should go to a therapist lol.
Such a powerful lesson and I thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. Self love and self trust are the fundamental blocks to trusting others. ❤
Has anyone else had the issue where working from home allows some of our destructive habits to get worse? Eating out of boredom/stress/depression, procrastinating more, finding distractions to do anything but work? Through the cold winter months I made excuses. It's nicer weather now but I am still struggling with getting out and more exercise, distracting myself from work and being on my phone instead. Stressing myself out when the time suck ends and the work still needs to get done. Eating too much while sedentary because even healthy snacks are still going to turn into fat without exercise.
Saying exactly what I need to hear, thank you ❤
I am like moat a work in progress. I am better with the self trust than maatery but have been working on that one more recently. I read an article , I dont remember where from but the take away I got from it was this. Trust can be viewed like a bank account and you are the one who decides what equals a deposit and what equals a withdraw. And when it comes to trusting yourself start with small decisions and work your way up. I hope this is helpful to someone. It did help me.
You can be a Light saver
I love this channel. I recommend it to my friends
This hit the core 🎉❤
Thank you for all of your videos ❤
Thanks you very much for being so open! Self trust is a weak point of mine, and your words make me feel that I have a journey ahead of me that I can try to iniatiate.
"man should know his own self and recognize that which leadeth unto loftiness or lowliness, glory or abasement, wealth or poverty..." 2:40
Bahá’u’lláh
Could you do a video on delayed grief/grief responses? Specifically, how do I come to terms with grief/lack there of from events from years ago?
OK... whenever I hear someone act bored about carrots compared to processed foods, I get into THIS discussion: (But by the way I wouldn't call them nature's cheetos- instead I would call them nature's candy, because they are SUPPOSED to be SWEET). SO.. you may ask: WHY DON'T they taste sweet (OR "why don't they taste sweet to ME"?)? In MOST cases, I do believe it's because it's "regular (conventional)" carrots that are being eaten (not certified organic carrots). Many people don't know what "organic" really means, but the RELEVANT part to the meaning for THIS conversation is: "Organic means synthetic chemicals, including RoundUp, is NOT allowed on the crop". Many synthetic chemicals (especially RoundUp, which I know the most about) have "side effects" in addition to being the weedkiller they are supposed to be... SUCH AS inhibiting the crop from producing as much SUGAR as it's SUPPOSED TO. Hence, IF chemicals such as those are ALLOWED on the carrot (which is ONLY allowed IF the carrot is NOT certified organic), it's going to probably have less sugar, and therefore be less sweet.
Now, THAT is the "theory" but I (as well as many others, including a roommate who NEVER eats organic food) notice the difference, and that roommate had tried one of my carrots without even KNOWING it was organic and said "WOW THAT CARROT IS SO SWEET, WHERE DID YOU GET IT?"
There are DOZENS of mechanistic reasons such as that, why organic food has a "higher chance of" tasting better (and being healthier, since they do not allow so many chemicals that are actually carcinogens for example.
EVERYONE "knows about WHOLE food items" being healthy... but it sure makes it a whole lot EASIER to ENJOY them when they ACTUALLY taste good.
I'm 44 and I've failed in everything in life because I focused all my energy in following my dream( becoming an opera singer) which didn't come true no matter how hard and for how long I work on it. Now I hate myself, I feel like and idiot for not choosing a safe life path and I feel that I will never be able to trust myself again
We are infinite, as Charlie (the wallflower) would say.
Can this be a podcast 🥺 not the specific video but most videos on the channel I mean (?
Hi, I have some questions. How do you deal with only seeing your self worth in your achievements? How do you re-train your brain into not thinking that talking positively about yourself is being delusional? I think a lot of people struggle with this. Me included.
I dont know really how to make my self trust better. I am too scared to get hurt again by one of so called friends. I dont trust to pick the right ones. So i am always reserved.
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Sometimes I just think me and Jonathan are twin brothers separated by Iron curtain. Even if our age difference is 10+ years. Oh and yes, he is very beautiful :)
Where can we submit "ask a therapist" questions for consideration? the video says the questions are from the comments; do they mean these comments?
***Peaceful Disclaimer: I am simply sharing. I respect anyone who has different belief systems. All have their own free will choices to make.***
▪︎Self-Control:
• Just remembering God [God of Abraham and Jacob (Jacob was given a new name; Israel)] informing that humans have the choice to stop and start basically, so I should be able to stop the bad and begin the good.
- Simply remember words of God.
- God taught me self-control via understanding His words are of loving blessings and caring warnings to protect not reject.
▪︎ Self-Trust:
• Came after alot of years praying and gaining self-control.
- via working on my relationship with God, I was able to win over anger to gain peace despite people being against me in any way, shape, and form.
- I also obtained the ability to stand my ground with great respect to God's words as well as second in line respect towards humans (for God's will to be done).
- Now, I can see how far God goes for that one sheep.
***Peaceful Disclaimer: I am simply sharing. I respect anyone who has different belief systems. All have their own free will choices to make.***
how do you master trusting in others?
I wonder if autoimmunity is a body expression of self loathing. 🤔
i seriously wonder if p0rn makes anything bad go away even for a second. there's a razor blade hidden in the candyfloss. it may look like nice skin, cool outfits, great entertainment but it's just on the outside. there's no emotion, no sharing, no joy. People are a lot less stupid these days, and the industry that depends on us depending on sh*t, wants us to remain stupid as long as possible, but it's a losing battle. Eventually, creativity and free spirit will win out!
I was fine until u talked about self love. How can one ever learn that? I can not even hear about it without a severe reaction. Listening to u talking about it made me hate myself even more, i am so disgusted and repulsed by everything i am. Hearing u talk about it triggers me to wanting to hurt myself so badly in the most violent way i can imagine. I will stop now and step away from this video, because for now this are only thoughts and not actions and i want it to remain this way.( and stepping away will secure this ) Yet i really wish i knew how to tackle this issue when i can not even listen to someone else talk about there experiences...
I started watching this channel yesterday and have already cried so much.Thank u for this gift,loving💙🩷