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I really love the way you break these things down. You make it sound so simple yet so insightful and it's really helped me understand my own behaviours. I have anorexia but i'm not professionally diagnosed so these videos are really informative for me and they make me much less anxious about food

Happy Anniversary to you both.👏🍻🍷 I recognise so many of these signs Emily. Now to create reminders to steer the thinking...

haven’t watched the whole video yet, but i want to say that your cat is sooo cute😫🥺

I'm so so sorry. Happy anniversary!!!!! I can't believe it's a year!!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉

Ding ding ding! Gosh, this rung so true for me....having every tiny piece /scrap on the plate. I've just committed to physical rest which is a HUGE behavioural step change for me (LLM is a big problem for me). I've occasionally managed to reduce my activity in the past, BUT it has always led to me then reducing what I eat because my head says what those stupid government ads say "energy in=energy out' , and I believe that idea that if I'm doing less physically I don't need as much food. However I talked to my parents about this and acknowledged that as someone in energy deficit, if I reduce what I eat even more to 'make sitting down and resting acceptable ' then I'm depriving myself of nutrients to heal sufficiently. I won't be getting the nutrients/equipment my body needs to rebuild and restore. This video has also helped me see that I'm still hungry a lot of the time and even after a meal. Therefore it helps clarify that nomatter how much I do or don't do physically I need to eat as much as I can force myself to. There is no 'too much'?!? I get so scared that I I am having 'more than my body needs' and especially when I'm less active. But I'm going to try to see this as an experiment- what will happen if for 5 days I do very little and still eat what I was eating when very active? The worst that can happen if I feel extremely terrible agitation and panic. Can I do instead of rushing around, walking etc? .....reading, watching films on a free trial streaming service I have for 7 days, writing reviews, writing letters, journalling, art, etc. Having a list of things I want to do but haven't been able to because im to busy out and about, cleaning, hanging out in supermarkets trying to buy what I want but walking out with the usual apples and veg, etc. I'm scared though. Every part if me is itching to get up and do things. I feel so so lazy and gross. Does this ease? What if I become a really lazy person? Sorry I'm seeing it as an opportunity one minute and then freaking out the next! I guess it is accepting I will get these distressing feelings and thoughts I must reduce what I eat but see this as an exercise in enduring the emotions and beliefs and still not reacting in the way they make me feel compelled to. How can that be lazy? I am literally doing the hardest thing- learning tk tolerate distress and not respond to ED compulsions. Sorry. I'm goingnon. Just trying to get through this torture until it feelsok and I can actually focus on a book or film or creative project. Thanks Emily

A wonderful and beautifully reassuring insightful video Emily, thanks so much for recovering and putting into words what it takes to recover. This video literally made me get up and honor my hunger cue right now, despite the doubt and fear, thanks so much again Emily :)

Can I ask , did you experience these before any weight gain or after some or most of the weight gain? And how long into your recovery did you notice these signs? Also can these signs be present during extreme hunger and/or during times of less hunger/apathy around food? Thanks so much ! ♥️

Those flowers really are beautiful!! This is such a helpful video! Thank you ♥️

This is really insightful. I found even in hospital we were told to distract ourselves after meals and I always dreaded finishing meals. I now realise this was probably unsatiated hunger and being devastated then 'eating was over'. So important to highlight.

No wayyyy, I did all of those lmao. But it's so hard to honour it all.

I think I (and a lot of other people with an ED) can write a book about recovery eventhough we're not recovered yet. But I find myself in a difficult situation (aka the quasi state). I've been in "recovery" for a while now and things are better then before but there is still a long way to go. Most of the time I find myself not hungry or I feel physically full (it has been a lot of force feeding myself). Sometimes my mental hunger goes crazy and sometimes it's not even there. And with my physical hunger not helping me or being there, it is hard to eat enough for recovery. And then I get doubts of what to eat and how much of it. Also because ever since I gained some weight (Idk how much) my appetite slowly has been decreasing (which should be a good sign). Eventhough there are still rules in my head about "timing of eating", "amound of eating" and "how much I may rest" what should I do in my situation? I can't rely on my physical hunger but also a lot of times not on my mental hunger neither. (Because it's not there or super unclear or switches up 1000x in a day) Staying on a rule based schedule also doesn't get rid of my restriction based rules. Like a minimum suggested meal plan or how much to minimum rest a day or planned times to eat. I'm looking for something that gets rid of the rules in my head and also makes me finally spontanious again. Because right now it has always been restricted and planned and calculated (in amound of food, timing of eating, and timing of rest)

Very beautiful flowers!! Happy Anniversary to you and Andrew!! I love that you present challenges that empower me! Thank you for this! ED doesn't like doughnuts - all? bakery items, actually - and I'm not certain if I do. Pretty certain it's related to refined flour v. whole grains, plus sugary. I have learned that I absolutely DO enjoy a variety of cookies and that mayo is quite yummy. Condiments, in general, are something I'm exploring. I need to challenge pasta more - I like it/ED does not. I have a list to make😄..and then enjoy experimenting. Thank you for another inspiring video, Emily!!

I hit send before I was finished! I link into a support group for careers and always tell them to watch your videos. They are enormously helpful to me so I would like to thank you so much and to also let you know that there are others in my situation who seek help in how best to supporting

Searching for inspiration in my journey as SUPPORT person for my daughter who has long standing AN I found this excellent (as usual) video. The huge problem is that some days the ED is so strong (and so angry with me - she tells me this) that I can be totally shut out. The angry bit is the fear the AN has that I am 'winning' a little bit too much and this scares her, so they both lash out at me. I get this...and have learned how to deal with it from my point of view. I also watched your video on the foods ED told you you hated. That also resonated with me and I will encourage her to re-listen. Yesterday the ED told her it would be easier if she ignored the extreme hunger because the pain afterwards, physical and mental, was too impossible to deal with. Restriction is easier in her book. I noted all the lovely things to self talk and would love to take that role on but during these episodes she is completely un-receptive

Oh gosh, those sneaky doors! Have been having those challenges 😮

When I get real with myself, there is SO much ED BS I cling to and know I need to mentally push through if I want Total freedom (which I do) --> milkshakes, savoury (bacon/eggs/etc) breakfasts, milkshakes ALONGSIDE food, repetition throughout the day (e.g. eat bread for breakfast lunch and dinner and stop having to have all the meals totally different), stop limiting dairy (e.g. have the cappuccino AND cheese AND cereal with milk AND yoghurt/custard etc), stopping making food decisions based on the previous meal/snack etc. The list has many, many more things on it. Urgh. There is work to be done so I'd better get cracking 🤦🏻 As always, Emily, your videos and content cause me to properly reflect and realise okay Mark just cut the nonsense and push through; you're only prolonging the very things which drive you out of your brain, so cut it out! Thank YOU 😊

Happy Anniversary 🎉 Oh yes totally relate, chocolate, pasta, rice, potatoes in any form, cake, biscuits, milk ( is almond milk even milk really??) Will continue challenging them all - glad I now love eating crisps daily.

dear emily thank you so much for making these videos! your content has helped me so much already. do you have any tips for recovery in summer in particular? im bloated and my stomach hurts, but only the thought of getting a heating pad when its 30°C is giving me a heatstroke and the heat is also killing my appetite. its not like im craving nothing in particular, everything just sounds nauseating and i cannot survive off forcefeeding myself icecream alone for 3 month. i think soups and stews would be easy on my stomach but it really isnt the season. right now its more of a salad-kind of vibe? (not just leafy greens, im also talking about pasta-,potato- and couscous-salad) fruit and vegetables are in season and finally affordable, and i wanna eat all of the watermelon and peaches i can before i can only buy apples. im also struggling with resting. cuddling up on the couch with hot chocolate and watching a movie feels more natural for me when its autumn/winter right now i wanna be outside, spend time with my friends at the lake i don't wanna miss out on that comfy clothes are easy enough, i basically life in baggy old shirts - though i think id be more comfortable if i could hide behind sweatshirts and winter clothes and my weight gain wouldnt be as noticeable and (very important): whats your favourite flavour of ice cream?

Happy Anniversary! My five: Bananas, rice, ice cream, non-organic meat and coffee creamer. All my challenge foods are either carby or 'unclean'. Now that I'm in month four of recovery I'm starting to see where the error in my thinking is. Like you say, ED is tricky. It tries the back door, the windows and the chimney lol

I relate so much to this! I was the same, saying that barbecue crisps were making me sick because one time , when I was 5 years old, I got sick after eating those at halloween (as well as many sweets 😅) and my parents blamed it on the " bad flavoured crisps I ate". They then forbid me from having flavoured crisps.. My ed loved that excuse ! But then I started of my real recovery and I have to admit that they are my absolute fav!! ❤

So true !

Just found you and I am finding your video's so helpful as the supporter of a young adult with AN.

this hit hard

Thank you for your video. I do struggle to eat when I should as feel I have overeaten already so don’t want to make the bloat any worse as I do find it hard to deal with it

I would add some more tips which I've found very helpful! 🥰 - be aware of 'intuitive eating' and 'gentle nutrition' (which very often leads to restricting and focusing too much on your belly!) - If you are worried and sad that 'you are not physically hungry' IT MEANS THAT YOU ARE HUNGRY! (really, it works!) Hugs! ❤❤

Love this! Was such a fun time ☺️

you are so strong i admire ❤️

you have helped me so much - i’m finally starting to commit to ACTUAL recovery rather than that quasi bullshit! I was wondering though if you have a video on alcohol and the fears around drinking when you have an ED? I developed my ED when I was underage and now i’m in recovery I am over 18. If not, could you talk a little about how to deal with the fear of liquid calories, fear of losing control and just general anxieties around alcohol? Maybe some tips on how to reintroduce alcohol when you’ve restricted it? You are an angel and I cannot thank you enough for all you’ve done for me 💛 Love Emmy (same name snap!!)

Such an inspiring video, thanks so much Emily for showing a life which is free 😃

Aw i loved this vlog💝 You guys seem like good travel buddies lolll i love when my energy matches with the person I’m traveling with😂it’s underrated This made me wanna visit London!!!😭♥️

Really nice. Thank you for sharing.☺

I love your vlogging videos, afterwards I am always in such a good mood ❤

That was very nice. Thank you Emily.

You really make me feel like I deserve recovery, and that like maybe, one day Its possible i will be happy again, fully recovered, enjoying food and the life my ed is taking away from me :’3

Oh wow, thank you so much Emily for such an incredible video and review of the book… You did well to break it all down!! I wrote the book as to me the theory and the science made more sense than anything else ever had about my experience with an eating disorder and things fell into place in my mind about what it was my brain was doing within the eating disorder in ways that I hadn't understood before. If sharing that helped just one other person to understand themselves and to find a route to recovery then I was happy. But Emily, you are truly amazing and a fabulous person!! 🍔🍨🍩

Hi and thankyouuuu so much,helly s podcast its amazing too❤❤❤

Your English is so beautifull Emily.

Helly Barnes is one of the leading voices in lived experience eating disorder recovery. Her insightful & beautifully written Instagram posts helped me tremendously in my own recovery, I'm currently making my way through her books, which provide such an invaluable perspective on eating disorders as addictions to energy deficit, snd hence, why they are so difficult to overcome. I also think that your work in the eating disorder recovery space is brilliant, Emily, and I know many people who find your videos & podcasts incredibly helpful as they navigate their own recovery journeys. I am currently working for my former recovery coach, the amazing Chris Sandel at Seven Health, as the community support moderator for his Fundamentals of Full Recovery programme, and I have shared some of your excellent content with the group. Thank you for being such a force for good in this field and for also highlighting others who are doing the important work to save lives from these devastating and often misunderstood illnesses 🙏

When I start over-thinking, I've often been reminded to take one meal, one snack at a time so I totally relate to the idea of getting out of my head and living in the moment.

Thank you Emily, great review of another brilliant recovery author/ coach/ podcaster. I have found so much wisdom and benefit in my personal recovery from Helly.

helly has a wonderful podcast as well ❤

it’s really interesting because in German another name for anorexia nervosa is “Magersucht”, which translates to “lean addiction”, which is not at all accurate concerning the “lean” aspect, but I really relate to the idea of anorexia as an addiction.

Thanks Emily for that book review! Could you do same kind of video about her other book “aiming for overshoot”?

No one had what pointed this out to me or spoke about and I’m 23 years in to my ed and exercise addiction ! Thank you for bringing up it’s totally me constantly busy xx

How far apart to space the meals and snacks? And how many kcal do you ame the meals and snacks to be around

Thank you soo much! I have been exactly like this! The guilt of not having a normal diet that I should b having has been awful. At least I know that I can do what needs to be done. ❤

Does anyone remember Billy-Bear Ham? That’s just come to me, not sure if it even contained any ham but still 😂

hi, my therapist only works with me under the condition of weighing me on a weekly basis. i feel like that holds my back in my recovery, do you have any tips? thanks for your work, emily!

I find it very hard to keep on track when people are saying stuff like "phew, now you really gained weight, now we know you are fine and we can let go of this". But for a person during that state, its the worst. I dont know how to handle, and how to not just start over the ED. This is connected to illness benefits, and thaats why I nowadays NEVER talk about my ED during a relapse. The more people involved, the harder to recover. Especially health care gives huge illness benefits, and to add to it, they ONLY care if people are near death, making many ED women get sicker och keep as sick as possible to get treatment or contacts with people (yes, sadly health issues are one way for loners to get social contacts and care, not just bullying).

I'm so grateful for you, Emily!