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I’m not sure if my mom has ADHD, but my dad definitely does, and he as a result was the main “caregiver.” He would get so anxious when we were going anywhere, then take it out on us.

PDA: Probable Divorcee Applicant 🎉

My mother probably has ADHD but also has NPD. Being horrible and abusive is NOT a symptom of ADHD. No one should be using AHDH as an excuse for their abusive behaviour!!!!

This is Me. Now what?!?

Interesting isn’t it that where people fail to keep up with the insanity of modern life, the human is told they have a disorder. Just a philosophical observation.

I'm sorry but this is not ok. Autisim and ADHD are not inherently abusive. Nor are they an excuse to abuse our kids.

You are not an expert. This is dumb

❤

Maybe the reason neurodivergent people liked the masks, points at self as an example, is because we didn’t have to mask. No fake smiles, we don’t have to put up that typical mail to blend in.

Mine has undiagnosed NPD. She fits the criteria to the whole section! I’m the mom with add. How did I not get diagnosed till now? I’m impulsive with baskets shelves and kitchen dishes, but I also can get rid of things. I think I might be on the spectrum as well

Do you accept Medicare or Medi-cal?

This is me to a tee but you forgot to include the bouts of self-medication and poor choices in people and the inability to process grief. My son hates me and calls me a child abuser and worse. He is 40 and completely dysfunctional and blames me for everything. I'm 65 ( I was finally diagnosed at 43 after I began research to help him) and he now takes advantage of me and guilts me into supporting him on my social security and a little part time job. I sent him this video but I don't have much hope of him getting any benefit if he even watches it.

Finding out your parents were undiagnosed autistic doesn’t invalidate your struggle. If you have trauma from this, you are still valid and it is still ok to get help for the damage caused by this if you need it. I hope the knowledge of why they did it helps aid in any other healing you have to do. 💜

Is rejection sensitivity really a symptom of ADHD? Maybe a secondary symptom because they experienced a lot of social rejection in the past. I can’t see why it would be primary symptom.

I’m 36 undiagnosed (my assessment is in 2 days) I’m also a mom of 4 and this is my life. I am hoping to start medication soon but for the moms who are not yet diagnosed magnesium really does help! Obviously it’s not an adderal but it just slows the mind enough while you await meds or therapy and makes things feel less 😂🙃🥸🤩😭😫😴😣🙃🙃🙃

Maybe you need to let the government run your life Because they really care about you!! Not like your mom eh who has stood by you all your life even when it was so hard she struggled Tell your mom she was bad wrong and mentally ill and then you and your mom can get c do dosed up on antidepressants 👍 Great!!!

I enjoyed this! Thank you

Narcolepsy is not the same as excessive daytime sleepiness due to staying up. It’s a completely different diagnosis.

I suspect both my mom and I have undiagnosed ADHD, and I don't think my mom has ever had a conversation with me where she wasn't reading something or watching TV at the same time. As an adult I understand that need for stimulation, but it's still pretty horrible growing up knowing that you're so boring to your parent that a newspaper will always take first place for them. By the way, I think you're the first ADHD content creator I've watched who mentions drowsiness as a symptom of low level of stimulation. I'd come to the same conclusion but I was doubting myself because nobody else seems to talk about it, everyone just always talks about hyperactivity. But it's my experience too that when I try to resist the hyperactivity and distractions, what follows is a horrible grogginess that's impossible not to react to. For example when I tried to practise meditation I legit thought I'd had an aneyrusm for a moment, because I suddenly got so tired I couldn't focus my eyes, my speech got slurred and I couldn't stay upright but fell on my side. When I stopped trying to empty my mind all these passed within seconds and then I was hyper. I think that had to be because of the falling dopamine level, that wasn't normal sleepiness plus it came and went so suddenly. Anyway, I wish that was talked about more in ADHD content, because it seems to me neurotypicals don't really understand what boredom does to us, everyone just seems to think we're such wussies we can't tolerate a slightly unpleasant emotion when in reality low dopamine has very real physical consequences. That's why we learn to run from that tiredness that isn't tiredness as babies and then we never stop running.

This video really validates much of my childhood, especially the forgetfulness and the bluntness and hyper focus and tuning me out. However, for my mom, the sensory stuff is all the opposite. My mom is sensory *seeking* and hyperactive, so loud noises never bothered her, she loves lots of people and parties (despite being super embarrassing and inappropriate), she is way too touchy-feely to the point where it creeps me out at times, and she definitely uses screens to regulate. She is very impulsive, too. She loves to eat all kinds of foods and definitely overeats. She did weight watchers and yo-yo diets so often that I literally don’t know what she will look like each time I see her. It’s really bizarre. There was almost no consistency with my mom. She was and is still totally unpredictable. I wish there was some clarification that sensory can go either way - seeking or avoiding - and both are signs of autism.

Thank you for talking about this. There many neurotypical moms and other adults talking about kids with ADHD, but I have found almost nothing about parents with ADHD and how that affects the child. I have been diagnosed by my psychiatrist as having ADHD, and although she hasn’t been diagnosed yet I feel like my mom is a TEXTBOOK example of having ADHD. So when you are a child with ADHD and one (or both) of your parents may have ADHD, that leads to A LOT of misunderstandings and frustration. One moment my mom promised we would go somewhere fun the next day and the next day she wasn’t in the mood so we wouldn’t go, which made me disappointed. She would say things one moment and the next moment the opposite was true, so I had no clue what to expect. The rug could be pulled out from under me at any moment, and I had to tiptoe around eggshells in a futile attempt to avoid her temper. There were some things that happened that directly made me think that I was in charge of keeping my mom’s moods positive, which was of course not true. Since we both probably had ADHD and as a result both had rejection sensitivity, every time we get into an argument we always take things the wrong way. It was a hot mess. Now with the knowledge and awareness that I have ADHD and she could potentially have ADHD, things between us are significantly better and communication is a lot more direct, though of course we still have our difficulties. Nothing is perfect but knowledge and awareness of these issues goes a long way in helping.

You might be interested to read the literature review ‘Empirical Failures of the Claim That Autistic People Lack a Theory of Mind’ by Morton Ann Gernsbacher & Melanie Yergeau. I think it’s important to check the research for yourself and see if there are contradictions.

Thanks now I know that i have ADHD.

I often fell asleep reading to my kids. I'd like to see if I have autism or ADHD because most of this fits me.

Thank you from another neurodivergent mom to two autistic boys. Transitioning time from playground to the car causes so much tantrums outside. I honestly didn’t know if I was doing something wrong because people stare at us because we are so loud 😅😅 I don’t feel so alone. Thank you the tips, I will struggle a lot less when taking us out on adventure time we call it our house.

Wanna cry. Thank you

Dude the pain :( I’m glad I know what it is now Audhd

You are valid, sibling. I know these feelings so well. You are not weird.

If mom had high anxiety, stress, depression, were hurried - the kids will be too. In an undiagnosed woman on a spectrum or/and ADHD (these two are def comorbidities very often) anxiety, depression or other disregulations are practically always present or masked. Guess what that mom had a parent that behaved that way too! Thank you for this video, it does help to be heard.

You said: "you can break the pattern", but how? Its genetic. 😅

WOW 100% me. My 3 are adults now. They did turn out OK. All have college degrees& good jobs!

Could it be mom is Borderline?

Thank you for sharing this. I'm sure it felt very vulnerable to do so. I can relate and am so glad to know I'm not the only one! ❤

Going from love to hate is not an ADHD symptom, that is a symptom of much more serious conditions than ADHD. That is more likely BPD or NPD. ADHD is often a symptom of underlying conditions like CPTSD. Don't minimize child abuse by dismissing it as ADHD. ADHD doesn't make you hate your kids or cause extreme mood instability that way. It's unethical and irresponsible to make claims like this when you are not an expert. You need to just stick to your own personal experience and not try to justify abusive behavior to ADHD.

I had the reverse with an ADHD father and Autistic mother. Neither diagnosed but they were also old fashioned. You ate what was served or went hungry. You kept track of your things or they'd get thrown out. "And if you don't like it, there's the door!" Was a common refrain at our house.

I am a mom. I believe that I probably have ADHD. I have many of those signs. My daughter is ADHD. My mother probably was, but told me that I really wasn't ADHD... but I believe that I am. Thank you ❤

My mom was addicted to coffee for a few years, maxing at 16 cups a day. I’m surprised that attempts at self medicating wasn’t on the list.

You should change the title to possible signs linked to ADHD. I can relate to many of these. I'm running late often, but I have noticed the times I get off my phone and not waste time I'm more efficient and head out the door "on time" a lot of us feel we have no time I'm one, but in reality we waste a ton of our time since we are highly attached to our phones or electronics.

What an excellent video! Thank you for educating folks on ADHD and how it continues throughout adulthood. Both my parents have ADHD, and struggled with many (all?) of the issues you listed. It caused so many issues for my brothers and I growing up, the main one being basically left to raising ourselves. I also have ADHD and many struggles, and I married a wonderful neurodivergent man, but there are so many resources to help today that we use-from my calendar app to Alexa-to help keep track of things for us. I homeschool my kids who are neurodivergent as well, because once I realized I had ADHD I was able to clearly see all the kids who struggled with it in school, myself included, and I couldn’t do that to my kids. It’s not always easy, but there is so much love and understanding. My kids don’t struggle like I did because I know what to look for and how to help them in a way my parents didn’t. Thanks for this video!

Does Adhd develops with childwood trauma?

Excellent video; having a mother with ADHD as an undiagnosed high masking autistic child was hell. Because we were so different I felt like there was no way we could love each other if we couldn’t understand each other. I accept that, she doesn’t. She fights for our relationship, while simultaneously destroying it. Just because someone wants to love you, doesn’t mean they can. I empathize with her as someone who also can’t control her neurodivergence. In some twisted fate, the very thing that drives us apart is the only thing we have in common. The perfect karmic relationship; let’s see how we fair this time 😌

When you say they can't form a routine, like is it just harder or absolutely impossible. I'd like to be able to be more routine based but I struggle so hard! I don't want my kids to not have routine like the way I was raised. Trying to put in systems at the moment.

Great video. Although there may be overlap with childhood trauma (cPTSD) as it affects the development of the prefrontal cortex, I’m pretty sure that my mum has ADHD. I realised this after learning more about it and it explained a lot. Beautiful, passionate, creative woman. But lost track of things, no routine, no consistency, shorter temper, I’d come home and she’d be moving the furniture around at 1am haha. I’m similar but attempting to work on emotional regulation and not being a slave to my impulses. I cannot be like other people and I don’t need to be, I am very empathetic (an ADHD trait I believe), think outside of the box and make decisions based on my values and beliefs, not based on the status quo, not because I feel pressure to conform. These are strengths. It makes raising little kids who thrive in consistency a little difficult, but I can see how she will benefit from these other things that her mama has. We won’t suffer like our mothers did, we have awareness and can make decisions for our lives that can alleviate the more challenging/negative parts of ADHD. For example, I have embraced minimalism (less things, less tidying, quick tidying, less to keep track of). We live simply and this is good for my ADHD and better for my daughter. Our por mamas were likely less self aware. I think that with awareness and effort towards emotional regulation and healing of trauma etc, we actually make fantastic, fun mothers who show our children that we must think for ourselves, can think outside of the box, don’t need to conform, empathic and creative.

Out of the blue, I signed my kids out of school and we started homeschooling that very day. We all now know about neurodivergence and talk openly about it. Thank you for doing these videos. It will help so many people.

You've described my childhood.