Видео

Journaling gave me the ability to see my thoughts on paper and question their origin. It helped me differentiate what thoughts were my own and what thoughts were the ideology I was raised in

What sucks for me is first being a lesbian partially being raised Pentecostal. Second my Mom and dad bringing me to church when they are involved in my life and then abandoning leaving me with my Grandma and then coming back and put me back into church. All of that was totally unnecessary.

This is a bar, an absolute bar.

I’m an INTJ.

Thank you for this video xx

😭

Value is in who you are not what service you can provide ,

OMG this makes so much sense - the C-PTSD - never heard of it before. Wow

i just got out of a therapy session where i unearthed my “inner demonic part” and it was literally just the combined voice of abusive religious bullshit, bullies, and my abusive parents. profound realization to see how brainwashed my inner children were by the demon of religious abuse & religious trauma. the awful things that brainwashed adults in a bad environment made her believe. i watched this video right after the session and it just validates that realization even more. thank you so much for sharing your experience and story. it resonates so much.

🔥🔥🔥🔥

💯 keep spreading great messages this hit hard

I despise the catholic church and how the world is messed up by religions. I hate my grandmother for compelling me to go to church when I just wanted to do sports, learn about video games, computers and develop my critical thinking.

Is the church evil (same question for mosques and temples)? Because what's been done and what you speak of being done is sinister and evil if done with intent, generation after generation....

I want to kind of heal that I feel as if I have the world on my shoulders. That it feels like, even writing this is hard really, but it feels like that the fate of the world is my responsibility. When growing up I always heard in church that "God has big plans for your life" etc etc... I think this is what kind of instilled this in me? That it is my job kind of to make sure that the plan is going accordingly as to His will. It leads me often to feel miserable - since I have ADHD and my hobbies/and everything I do can never just be for me, but it has to be for everyone around. Idk. Something like that. I'm still not sure how to move from this. And I also know how stupid it sounds - because, like, who am I to say think that I am so special in a way. So I'm dabbling with conflicted feelings from day to day. And the never-ending struggle is to be authentic - YET - feel as if I walk in His plan... Idk if this makes sense.

For someone who is not a mental health professional, you have so much better advice that is practical and grounded for my healing journey than my 3 of my last 4 therapists. I’ve been watching some videos from your channel for the past hour almost and I’ve gained so much stuff that I can easily put into practice right away! Like today!

This video hits me especially hard. I have a tough relationship with my anger because growing up my mother always told me to “control your anger” and not to be like my father- an abusive alcoholic with low emotional intelligence, an over-reliance on marijuana for emotional regulation as well as an extremely volatile man” My former therapist told me that I needed to “control my anger” in our very last session together after I discussed my feelings about my cousins gaslighting me with “a cool video to watch” which basically was an attempt to bring me back to God. Consequently, I recently as in like 2 days ago sent an email discontinuing services with her and am searching for a new therapist. Thanks for this video and your advice and for actually giving practical advice and not just telling me I need to change without tangible tips like a certain therapist I used to know. I’m still a bit angry about that I have to admit 😅😂

This video hits me especially hard. I have a tough relationship with my anger because growing up my mother always told me to “control your anger” and not to be like my father “an abusive alcoholic with low emotional intelligence, an over-reliance on marijuana for emotional regulation as well as an extremely volatile man” My former therapist told me that I needed to “control my anger” in our very last session together after I discussed my feelings about my cousins gaslighting me with “a cool video to watch” which basically was an attempt to bring me back to God. Consequently, I recently as in like 2 days ago sent an email discontinuing services with her and am searching for a new therapist.

This video was a breath of fresh air. I didn’t even realize the idea of asking permission to live my life was something I struggled with until i came across your video. I am a queer and genderfluid person. I’m a 2nd generation Ghanaian immigrant that grew up Christian and I’ve been no contact with my parents for the past 6 months and it’s been hard. I internalized a lot of negative messages from the way in which I was indoctrinated into Christianity and I only really gave up Christianity about 2 years ago so as I’ve gone through my healing journey in therapy over the past 7-8 years of my life and come to terms with my baggage, I’ve realized that there’s a lot of things that I have to work through with healing from my religious trauma as well as other forms of trauma that I’ve experienced. I really appreciate this video and immediately liked and subscribed.

god is a scam created by religion in order to gain power and suppress critical thinking. I DESPISE all religions.

Read the Quran to see how they use fear and all kind of minpulation techniques to make you lose your mind and control you .

You are brave and strong and it's mind boggling how much you had to endure. So sorry. Recovering catholic here. Who came up with this horror anyway? The god of the BuyBull is a narcissistic monster

Church is not a safe place at All for me

I wish I had been told this at age 25 when I left a high control religious denomination. 40 years I’ve lived just like you described. Convinced I was backslid and going to hell anyway, I decided to just live my life the best I could. The only way to avoid hell was returning to that religion and I couldn’t live like that either. I came across your video looking for religious abuse vids. Thanks so much for your encouraging words.

It is a bit complicated when those people are your parents 😞😞

@Angel Desantis hey just wanted to let you know that I just subscribe to your RUclips channel I’m extremely glad you back hope to see you soon and more videos

Angel, you are Amazing and deserve the best out of life. You deserve every cent you get, and every accomplishment to your name. You dont need to be so harsh with yourself, but even if you are, thats okay. Whatever you do we love you 🤗

Thank you, Angel 🙏

Eh, still doesn't work for me. I'm stuck in the past

My account on RUclips isn't anonymous to family or anything so I can't say what person or what relationship I was to said person, but after being sexually assaulted under the influence of alcohol by an ex as an adult, I started to experience frequent flashbacks to things that happened to me when I was a young boy. Realized depression had successfully repressed memory of molestation. I was always hyper vigilant and timid and quiet. I was always a people pleaser and had boundary problems until very recently. Im scared of getting into another relationship and not being ready for sexual intamacy, and I'm scared of my inability to set reasonable boundaries. As a kid, I retreated into maladaptive daydreaming and power fantasies where I was heroic and respected. I had role models on TV and video games (media consumption comes with Christian guilt tho), but I was scared of fundamentalist church authorities and narcisstic parents. I feel like I should be a man, but I have anxiety responses when I hear random people yell at each other. I am fragile and sensitive and a loser. I would like to be a stronger person who can defend himself. I also want to feel safe when drinking or doing recreational activities with significant others. After experiencing sexual harassment from a male coworker and sexual assault from my ex-girlfriend, I feel like a dumb pushover. Not sure if the religious trauma or the sex trauma did more damage. I just know that I experience really unnecessary anxiety and vigilance for no good reason.

I actually feel really confused about everything. Sometimes i ask myself if i should leave, or is love enough to stay in a relationship. Im 42 but feel i dont really have a say so over my life cause it would look that im dishonoring my husband. Or if i wear make up or have my nails done than im a jezebel. Or if i dont wear a hair covering than im just being a bad influence on my children. Idk sometimes its a bit too much to handle.

growing up christian was so damaging to me. i was constantly told that i was a worthless piece of garbage and that only by being in the glory of god or whatever did i have the right to feel good about myself. it amazes me how little ppl realize how this is literally just an abusive relationship. "worship me or ill k#ll you" is essentially the message of the bible. what if your bf/gf said that to their partner? ppl would think theyre insane! in addition, whenever i mentioned struggling with my mental health (ptsd, depression, and anxiety from abuse) i was always told it was because i was "sinning too much" or "not praying hard enough". ugh. gross! such invalidating things to say. so happy im not a christian anymore. ever since leaving christianity ive felt less s#icidal and feel more self-confident because my worth comes from me and not some old fantasy book that ppl somehow believe as facts. thank you for this video. im still recovering from my religious trauma and having videos like this that serve as both relatability and a guide are so helpful

Christians believe one has to be a slave to God, and one manifestation of that belief is precisely the internalized belief that you need to consult God for every move you make, otherwise your are given the perception that you are missing out on some promise from God beyond your imagination. that you are missing out something good, letting something good out of your hands, when you could benefit from it. And that creates tension in he mind, I have seen it. Becausae it is like: I am the one living my life or God is? They tell you what to do BECAUSE they TRULY BELIEVE it is a sign of pride that you are making your own decision without consulting God first, given the fact that God is perfect and could be a better advisor than us. It has its logic I must recognize They tell you: "well God created everything even the air your breathe so he must know better than you", or something akin to that.

Hi Angel, im so happy you got out. ❤ You are a beautiful person, inside and out,. Im 63 and left abusive religion about 30 years ago. Losing my closest friends was the hardest part for me. But im cheering you on and thank you for speaking out. You are helping many,many peaple!😊❤ Much love to you😊

You're right. I'm an excellent employee. I believe that our Heavenly Father snatched me out of organized religion (prosperity gospel)10 yrs ago and of my people-pleasing job. Then I went back to basics, started attending different churches. The p@ndmc quarateen allowed me to really see that I walk in my purpose without people's opinion, I even published a book. I found a great job. I still pray to our Heavenly Father, read my Bible, I listen to Spirit of the Heavenly Father in me, and I live my life in peace without drama. It's a beautiful and powerful thing. My husband always tells me...live your life.😊 I'm free.

There is an acute irony in complaining about your own existence.

Love this! I do this… wow

I remember the youth services quite well, it was pretty much the youth pastor casting out the “spirit of sex”, his most favorite verse was 2 Titus 2:22. All of the leaders had an unhealthy fixation with us not having sex. I’m 50 and just now all this trauma started to surface in the shape of anger and indignation. I start therapy next week. I’m more messed up than I thought. I really hope I can heal from all this nonsense.

I grew up in a pentecostal cult, they totally eradicated my critical thinking skills. They called it “being humble and obedient to God” I’m 50 and still struggle with this.

I really really like and appreciate your videos!!!! Some really good information!! Guess im still healing. Keep up the good work!!!!!!! Super! 👍👍👍👍👍❤❤❤❤

Thank you so much for your work, wisdom, love, and for sharing your process with us. This video was a very helpful reminder to me this morning after dealing with a weekend of crippling anxiety and depression. 🙏🖤

❤. Thank you so much for this video!!!! I've had some awful religious abuse and need this kind of help and advice!! Hard to find!! 😢😢.

whats funny, is that people are in fear of hell and that itself creates hell on earth

I was very sexually precocious as a child. From 7 y.o. in grade 1 of primary school i wanted to kiss girls i liked. I knew what the bible said about sexual sin/lust (masturbation) and so throughout primary school i grew increasingly frustrated with myself that i couldn't stop being so horny. My angst was increased by God's failure to help me resist temptation despite His promise to not let be tempted beyond what i could bear. You touched on this, but you barely got into it before getting sidetracked with gays. Even as a child, i used to hate going to weddings because all i could think about was how they were going to finally have sex tonight and how lucky they were; and i would feel so jealous! It is incredibly invalidating to be told i can help it when i can't no matter how much i try. Any pastor i spoke to was always married so anything he said had zero legitimacy in my eyes. "Well it's all well and good for you to say.. You get yours..." Then there's the whole trusting God to bring me the woman he intends for me. And refusing to provide her for me as punishment because i can't stop self-loving. When i was 17, i went to an endocrinologist because i still hadn't started puberty. I had to have injections of testosterone just to kick-start it. How embarrassing! One day in my early 20s, i found a bible verse about being unmarried as being ideal, but *those who are unable to resist temptation* (SO VALIDATING) should marry because it is better to marry and live without sexual sin than to burn with passion. Finally, i found a bible verse that admitted there are such people like me who are so horny that we can't help it. However when i eagerly showed someone this verse, i was instantly shut down and dismissed, "You're listening to the devil, he's twisting those words.. No, you've been deceived!!" That's when i left and broke up with God... The reason this evil tyrant is so anti-sex is because HE can't get any Himself!!! Back when i was limited to godly women, worldly women would sometimes chat me up and i'd turn them down because we couldn't be unequally yoked. Now that i'm free to date worldly women, everyone rejects me. Now in my early 40s, I've gone from being grateful for "remembering the Lord my God in the days of my youth" to severely regretting it.

I cannot understand the way you rationalize how you could have repeated the cycle. I knew the abuse was wrong at an early age. I could never subject a vulnerable child to similar abuse because i know how it feels to be subjected to it. Why is that so hard for people to understand? Why do people keep saying the cycle repeats..? I just feel like it's people making excuses.

It's because we've been taught that we're nothing without God. Even anything good we do are like filthy rags. If we take credit for anything we're taking away from glory that should be given to Him. To do so is considered "pride - the greatest sin." Having self-esteem is a foreign concept. When i was in primary school i had a teacher who went rogue and told me she was proud of me. I had never heard anybody say that in that sense before and i was completely perplexed and confused about what she even meant by that and whether it was even allowed. It made me wonder if she was even saved; and whether they should sack/fire her because of such an admission of sin.

AND ALWAYS remember to separate the message from the messenger. Look at the message, and evaluate the message, and then - be the bigger person. Many people in world history that we regard as great people are later discovered to have many vices, such as a violent nature, alcohol abuse, womanising, etc. That doesn't change the fact that these people might have shed light on some very specific facts that has come to the light of day only thorough research and months of investigative journalism. A truth from ANY notorious lier isn't less true.

I know what you mean by "one of those people." You mean a fake christian, a hypocrite, what the bible refers to as 'lukewarm.' The family isn't merely "disappointed with you," they believe you've been deceived and are now doomed to hell. I had nightmares of falling down to hell. I didn't tell the cult/family about leaving or no longer believing because i didn't want all those scary warnings you mentioned. I just ghosted them. Information gaps like music. Never heard of Led Zeppelin for example. I had one 'fake christian' exclaim to me, "What.. You've never heard of Jimmy Hendrix... He's only the best guitarist in the world!?!" All this subjects you to such hurtful social ridicule. Like why even bother to befriend anyone if this is the kind of backlash i get for something that's not even my fault. I found out later that sexual abuse happened on teen camps. There is a suspicious number of "transfers" that keep happening.

Actually, if people would truly read the Bible, you would find out that churches make up their own crap that's NOT IN THE BIBLE. Catholic and other churches lie about the Bible. There is NO Easter, NO Christmas. It's a christian LIE. Jesus was not born in December, and Easter is not when Jesus died. To get when Jesus Dies, you have to use the Jewis calendar. The Trinity is also a lie.

This is great thank you.