The number 1 thing to change as you begin healing
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- Опубликовано: 5 окт 2024
- An important perspective to change as you begin healing. The camera had trouble focusing this round, but hey we got good audio 😆 ! One step at a time!
Looking forward to hearing how you receive this one. As always, thank you for being here!
8:50 The set up of a traumatized brain
10:46 Brain exercise
Angel I adore how committed you are to doing the work and figuring out healing and sharing that with all of us!
Thank you, Faye! Doing my best to leave something behind that I wish I had.
“count yourself as a good thing. Consider yourself as a person with good potential”
So freaking important 🙌 thank you Angel, this video was a great intro to your channel and I’m glad it’s the first one I chose to watch.
this was so useful; thank you! I notice how my mom is always scanning for things that could go wrong, and anticipating problems/ worst case scenarios when she makes plans, and then making choices as if that worst case scenario were true. she seems extremely uncomfortable when she is not in total control of a situation. it seems to me that so much of her energy goes into preventing any experiences of feeling unsafe/ out of control, that her life becomes very constricted, as she narrows her experiences to what feels 'safe' and familiar.
in watching this video I am able to see these patterns in her with more compassion, understanding her brain's response to decades of trauma, rather than judging her or feeling hurt by her choices (it seems her brain has seen engagement with me as a potential threat, to be limited as much as possible).
How does this have less than 200 likes? This is an amazing, extremely helpful video on a difficult topic that many therapists I know couldn’t address as well. Thank you Angel, and well done!!!
Thank you so much!
Very accurate. I started doing this with God. I began to look for sin in my self so that God would leave me alone. Healing is definitely about changing what you look for.
oh yes, I can so relate! even as a child I remember reviewing all my actions at the end of each day, scanning for any 'error'/ 'sin'/ 'bad choice', and really focusing on that. this pattern continued in my adulthood, even after I left the church. I think I am still hypervigilant towards myself this way, easily scanning for and focusing on faults/ poor choices/ bad decisions in myself, and having a hard time with naming good in myself (because to the harsh critic part, that would be 'self-deluded' or wouldn't lead to 'self-improvement' which it thinks I should be always working on!).
Watching your videos has made me re-realize how far I've come with learning to how to overcome and navigate through my own depressive and PTSD issues. I'm not cured by any means, but I do see gradual progress when looking back just 5 years. Your videos also help me reaffirm the reasons I left my last relationship. As much as I love my ex, I could see that we were sort of trauma bonding more than we were actually helping each other heal. I've finally learned that letting go of someone isn't a form of self punishment, it's more so an acknowledgment of certain fundamental incompatibilities that just aren't mutually nurturing anymore. Sometimes we have to learn to further nurture ourselves so that we don't develop unhealthy co-dependencies, or fall back into old patterns or situations that we've mentally (and emotionally) outgrown. Or so that seems to be the case with me anyway. Your videos help to remind me that setting standards for myself is in its very essence the road to building a healthy sense of self love. Due to my own rough upbringing and religious trauma, its taken me many years to learn how vital that is. Better late than never though eh?
Better late than never, always! Good for you.
I never know how much I enjoy and need these videos until I see them, thank you so much
Thank you Sergio! I'm so glad they are helpful!
The "wall of awful" we experience from others is based on 3 things:
1. Logic
2. Emotional investment in another outcome
3. Loyalty to an organization or ideology which has a contrary agenda
1. If you want someone to believe 2+2 = 5
They may give you a "wall of awful". And you can say "look, we tried 6,7,8,9, he doesn't accept any number."
No in this case it's not his trauma, but simply his logical recognition of the facts.
2. This video is describing this portion. People's emotional biases due to past bad experiences. It slants their perspective to preparing for the worst.
3. Sometime the "wall of awful" comes because the person is incentivized by a religion, belief system or organization. And they will not change until you remove them from that system.
I guess I've got me as a good thing. Really need to force good things into my life. Dont want to sound like a cry baby but PTSD has made me unable to work, go places without it being strenuous , cant socialize unless I'm drunk and has left me under the poverty line. But I'm glad I came across your channel , I learned about that self love stuff from you and it's working, Thanks Angel ❤
I am so glad you listed yourself as a good thing! You don't sound like a cry baby, these are all very real issues stemming from ptsd. When I left I also was under the poverty line and tremendously socially awkward because I thought everyone was trying to "get me". The fact that you are here and self aware enough to identify what you are going through is a good thing. Keep doing the work! I'm thankful that you are here!
Beautiful. Well done.
This reminds me very much of keeping a gratitude list. It changes the negative lens to positive. Bravo to you.
Thank you! It’s extremely important to be compassionate toward yourself during this process as well.
Absolutely!
Haha you called me out with that one “identifying what can go wrong” every time. 🤦♀️ Thank you Angel, your videos are so helpful. ❤️
Thank you so much!!
Thank you I’ve never heard it put that way before
Thank you.
You're so welcome!
Your channel just recently came into my suggestions possibly because I am an EXJW and you recently did a video regarding them. I'm glad the algorithm suggested it. I just wanted to make a brief comment that this was very helpful and your suggestions/advice were well received by me. Thanks again. Looking forward to digging into your content.
Robert, thank you so much, I am so glad you found this channel! feel free to look around/ bring up topics you want covered. I am doing my best to share my journey so that others feel less alone in theirs!
So good! Yes, 'the preempt'. Thank you for nailing this one!
Thank you for watching! You're not alone in the journey!
oh yes, if I show that I'm not 'proud' of myself, if I make a point to be 'self-deprecating', then I will 'pre-empt' someone feeling the need to do this for me!
Who can answer: " who am I ? " ? I never know what to say. I am this...Are not all names made up ? You are a dentist, you are a romantic, a pragmatic, a bodybuilder....Or are you a son, a brother, a father, a husband ? Any of these define who you are ? Actually who you really are ? We will find out after we die.
We can find out during life imo. I think the main thing is that you can be a lot of things! I think when we try to pick one major identify it can be confusing. But you can be multiple things throughout the course of your life and bear witness to the journey.
i like to remind myself that I have the power to choose who I am. and that can be anything
Did you have hidden cameras in my childhood home?! 🥺
(Jk lol Thank you for another helpful video, Angel! ❤️)
I promise I did not! ha! And you're welcome! I hope you are doing well!