Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/ 🎉 To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Loving this new presentation. My wife (she's already a fan of yours) and I just watched this video. Her jaw dropped and I'm pretty sure she has a sore neck from all of her nodding in agreeance. And then we spent 3 hrs really digging into ourselves. I'm full, and satisfied
Phoenix, I am glad you notice this, and this is one of the skills that I teach. Many of my most accomplished students are as good and as skilled as I am in this. This is why they are so successful in leading their relationships. They have become teachers and coaches in their own right.
This is the best video. This literally changed my mindset. Update: Went home and led a conversation that resulted in my wife leaving her LO. Glory to God and thank you Jeff for providing these videos to help us.
Being in a relationship with a passive person is beyond frustrating. It can be quite dangerous. Passive people also play victim. Throw stones and hide their hands. This behavior can incite violence.
Thanks for the breakdown of the framework. The example you used in the video is a great instance of a hard conflict with a seemingly irreconcilable position with an unfortunately forced binary outcome. At the end of the synthesis your partner either went to the conference or did'nt. So although concerns may be heard, acknowledged, understood, validated or empathized with only one of the 2 positions can have an outcome. If you can maybe walk through the next steps you'll took in your COVID example to the final state of conflict resolution and how that manifested(Did she go, not go, how did you feel, how did she feel, how would either of you have taken it if a differernt choice was made) why it would'nt result in the loss of emotional safety on either side that would add a lot more depth, context and clarity to the finality of these kinds of conflicts, if you would consider expounding more on that.
She did not end up going, but the important part was not the outcome, but the process. By handling the conversation in a balanced way like this, we were able to reach a win-win, that is mutually agreed-upon, and a decision that we both feel good about.
I loved all the information here and see how it can be beneficial to both men and women. Having a partner who has gone from both extremes hasn’t created emotional safety at times. I’m guilty of shutting down or exploding based on how he has responded to my emotions.
Great realization and yes even I myself have been guilty of shutting down and stonewalling in the past. But once I learned to become emotionally bulletproof is when it all changed for me and in my personal relationship. ruclips.net/video/tp6g9vgOiec/видео.html
@@GeoffreySetiawan everything about limerence. Is it real, how it happens, how it changes partners behavior, why partner chooses affair partner over me. Now she is back after all this situation but all this time she was in conflict with her self that what is she doing and why is she doing it. I asked her about what was she unfulfilled with and what was the problem with me, all she says everytime is she wasn't missing anything with me and neither any problem with me, she says she was happy with me but she caught feelings for him and she regrets it now. How is it possible and is limerence real? She still stuck in the phase of self hatred, she cries when she talks about past incident and it's important for me to talk about it to completely get over it and want to know the cause. We have been in relationship for the past 8 years. Please can you make a complete video on this.
This guy speaks the truth sadly. I tried the hard approach and my relationship of 8 years my fiancé walked out on me. Today will be 28 days since separated. I found this channel and followed some things and so far we are friends and we both have been able to speak more freely than we have ever before. I get text from her randomly but not like before. So I expect the worst and hope for the best. But at the same time trying to change my frameworks to help better myself.
I’m in almost the exact same situation man 8 years. except we’re still living together and she’s cheating on me online. Hard to stay calm and not break her computer in half and run it over with my truck. Stay strong brother
Hi Lary, Thank you for the support and comment. I release a new video every Friday, and have a ton of great content to keep you busy for a while. If you haven't already, consider signing up for my free 90-Min masterclass to learn even more. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
Two months ago, my wife demanded a divorce… We are living under the same roof… But see no closer to reconciliation. If anything, we seem farther away. She voluntarily went to a psych ward, because of the anxiety of living with me. She says she’s afraid of me, but I have NEVER been physically or verbally abusive with her. She has massive resentment against me, especially after I started, going to therapy for myself, and getting myself physically and spiritually healthy. I want to create this emotional safety. But it feels like the harder I try, the worse it gets. What do I do?
Goeffrey, could you please address what to do when partner curses and screams at you. Should we not leave the situation explaining that we will talk later calmly? Should we listen to it and keep on asking questions? Isn't this ridiculous and will made them feel making fun of? Or am I missing sth?
@@GeoffreySetiawan her and i arent together anymore but the video about being emotionally bulletproof made so much sense. she was gaslighting and being toxic and rude and it got to me without me even realizing. it really made me think a lot more about how i need to still work on myself even if we arent together. thank you so much for you videos they are helping me learn so much about myself
there is a lot of "overlap" in your many youtube videos. Surely a lot of the info could be condensed into a few underlying memorable principles guidelines which would be more helpful. Many of the scenarios you describe are to produce a perfect man (who does not exist) with a high maintenance demanding wife or partner. In ALL relationships you love your partner even with some faults (otherwise they would not be human beings!!!).
Again I like the content; but there are a few things that I’m not sure about for my situation: 1. She doesn’t want to talk at all, she has been in no contact for 3+ months and has completely distanced herself in every way. Including contact with our mutual friends and profession. 2. She’s Finnish and in that culture is VERY different. They are very non-talkative and stoic! I’m the communicator in the relationship and she even admitted the day she broke that it just wasn’t her to communicate her feelings. If she did, we would still be together. 3. The “alpha male” approach doesn’t work with all cultures.I believe that in a relationship you have to share leading and following equally. At least while dating a girl from Scandinavia! Anyways… I just want to talk to her and I’ve reached out recently, but no response at all. Zero… it’s bazar! The only explanation that fits this is she fell in love with another man during Covid and our forced distance apart. How do I get her to sit down and talk? 😢 Like I mentioned to you before, we never fought or argued; it was always a great time when together. 😢
Hi TheTrailDancer, Again, if you keep telling yourself that your situation is unique and nothing will work for you, then yes you will be correct. But if you decide like my clients below your situation is not special and and start to learn and grow in the right ways, the massive ways then you too can achieve your desired outcome. ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
@Geoffrey Setiawan apologies for the lack of information. I like to see an actual background and not the plain white one. I like a portrait effect that blurs the background. Just my humble opinion.
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts?
Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
🎉 To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Loving this new presentation. My wife (she's already a fan of yours) and I just watched this video. Her jaw dropped and I'm pretty sure she has a sore neck from all of her nodding in agreeance. And then we spent 3 hrs really digging into ourselves. I'm full, and satisfied
Love it! Glad you like the new set up.
@@GeoffreySetiawan ⁰0⁰ĺ0pp
Just imagine if both partners practiced emotional safety !!! 🙌🏽
Exactly! It all starts when one person makes the choice to become the leader and show the other.
This guy knows his shit, it worked for me for awhile then I got complacent and fell back to my old ways.
Love it!
@@GeoffreySetiawan😂😂
I like the distraction free framework here. Looking forward to revisiting and running through the communication, frameworks, and other 1st principles.
Lez do it!
I like how G. breaks things down. It’s easy to use blanket statements or generals terms but difficult to explain things clearly with examples.
Phoenix,
I am glad you notice this, and this is one of the skills that I teach. Many of my most accomplished students are as good and as skilled as I am in this.
This is why they are so successful in leading their relationships. They have become teachers and coaches in their own right.
This is the best video. This literally changed my mindset.
Update: Went home and led a conversation that resulted in my wife leaving her LO. Glory to God and thank you Jeff for providing these videos to help us.
What’s LO mean sorry
@@remyd1984 I forgot but it meant the one she was having an affair with. Maybe it was a Limmerant object.
@@hardknocksph.d2175 glad it worked out for you 👍🏻
@@hardknocksph.d2175 Any update? Did thimgs work out and what helped the most? My wife has a limerant object.
@@tb87670 keep watching the videos bro.
Controlled compassion is great! I compared this to stoicism but I am glad you gave it a name that is different in usage and meaning.
Being in a relationship with a passive person is beyond frustrating.
It can be quite dangerous.
Passive people also play victim.
Throw stones and hide their hands.
This behavior can incite violence.
You are hands down the HEALTHIEST mens relationship coach that I’ve come across on RUclips
Wow, what a powerful comment and one that brings me a ton of pride in doing what I do. Thank you for your support my guy.
I'm working on being bullet proof emotionally. Thank you for thr videos❤
Thanks for the breakdown of the framework. The example you used in the video is a great instance of a hard conflict with a seemingly irreconcilable position with an unfortunately forced binary outcome. At the end of the synthesis your partner either went to the conference or did'nt. So although concerns may be heard, acknowledged, understood, validated or empathized with only one of the 2 positions can have an outcome. If you can maybe walk through the next steps you'll took in your COVID example to the final state of conflict resolution and how that manifested(Did she go, not go, how did you feel, how did she feel, how would either of you have taken it if a differernt choice was made) why it would'nt result in the loss of emotional safety on either side that would add a lot more depth, context and clarity to the finality of these kinds of conflicts, if you would consider expounding more on that.
She did not end up going, but the important part was not the outcome, but the process.
By handling the conversation in a balanced way like this, we were able to reach a win-win, that is mutually agreed-upon, and a decision that we both feel good about.
Love the new format!
Appreciate it my dude!
I loved all the information here and see how it can be beneficial to both men and women. Having a partner who has gone from both extremes hasn’t created emotional safety at times. I’m guilty of shutting down or exploding based on how he has responded to my emotions.
Great realization and yes even I myself have been guilty of shutting down and stonewalling in the past. But once I learned to become emotionally bulletproof is when it all changed for me and in my personal relationship.
ruclips.net/video/tp6g9vgOiec/видео.html
Thank you Geoffrey
Glad you enjoyed it! :)
Very good information on how we need to process thing different
You'll learn this and so much more in the program!
@@GeoffreySetiawan so true
Geoferry could you please talk about limerence? I love your content.
What about Limerence would you like to know?
@@GeoffreySetiawan everything about limerence. Is it real, how it happens, how it changes partners behavior, why partner chooses affair partner over me. Now she is back after all this situation but all this time she was in conflict with her self that what is she doing and why is she doing it. I asked her about what was she unfulfilled with and what was the problem with me, all she says everytime is she wasn't missing anything with me and neither any problem with me, she says she was happy with me but she caught feelings for him and she regrets it now. How is it possible and is limerence real? She still stuck in the phase of self hatred, she cries when she talks about past incident and it's important for me to talk about it to completely get over it and want to know the cause. We have been in relationship for the past 8 years.
Please can you make a complete video on this.
I hope he made you that video brother!!! Ultra powerful topic
This guy speaks the truth sadly. I tried the hard approach and my relationship of 8 years my fiancé walked out on me. Today will be 28 days since separated. I found this channel and followed some things and so far we are friends and we both have been able to speak more freely than we have ever before. I get text from her randomly but not like before. So I expect the worst and hope for the best. But at the same time trying to change my frameworks to help better myself.
I’m in almost the exact same situation man 8 years. except we’re still living together and she’s cheating on me online. Hard to stay calm and not break her computer in half and run it over with my truck. Stay strong brother
@@markD5150 Thanks man, it's been tough but I'm staying strong and trying to move forward.
Im a fresh New subcriber and i cant wait toi learn from you and your teachings! Thank you!!
Hi Lary,
Thank you for the support and comment.
I release a new video every Friday, and have a ton of great content to keep you busy for a while.
If you haven't already, consider signing up for my free 90-Min masterclass to learn even more.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
Impressive.
Two months ago, my wife demanded a divorce… We are living under the same roof… But see no closer to reconciliation. If anything, we seem farther away. She voluntarily went to a psych ward, because of the anxiety of living with me. She says she’s afraid of me, but I have NEVER been physically or verbally abusive with her.
She has massive resentment against me, especially after I started, going to therapy for myself, and getting myself physically and spiritually healthy.
I want to create this emotional safety. But it feels like the harder I try, the worse it gets. What do I do?
Will you make videos on starting a new relationship. Or how to gauge when it’s time to move on. Thanks for these videos they help a lot in my life
We just did. Look at my 4 most recent videos.
Goeffrey, could you please address what to do when partner curses and screams at you. Should we not leave the situation explaining that we will talk later calmly? Should we listen to it and keep on asking questions? Isn't this ridiculous and will made them feel making fun of? Or am I missing sth?
this is my problem with my gf, i didnt even see it this way
Yeah, it is quit eye-opening. But like I mentioned in your last comment. Now we can begin to do something about it.
@@GeoffreySetiawan her and i arent together anymore but the video about being emotionally bulletproof made so much sense. she was gaslighting and being toxic and rude and it got to me without me even realizing. it really made me think a lot more about how i need to still work on myself even if we arent together. thank you so much for you videos they are helping me learn so much about myself
there is a lot of "overlap" in your many youtube videos. Surely a lot of the info could be condensed into a few underlying memorable principles guidelines which would be more helpful. Many of the scenarios you describe are to produce a perfect man (who does not exist) with a high maintenance demanding wife or partner. In ALL relationships you love your partner even with some faults (otherwise they would not be human beings!!!).
Again I like the content; but there are a few things that I’m not sure about for my situation:
1. She doesn’t want to talk at all, she has been in no contact for 3+ months and has completely distanced herself in every way. Including contact with our mutual friends and profession.
2. She’s Finnish and in that culture is VERY different. They are very non-talkative and stoic! I’m the communicator in the relationship and she even admitted the day she broke that it just wasn’t her to communicate her feelings. If she did, we would still be together.
3. The “alpha male” approach doesn’t work with all cultures.I believe that in a relationship you have to share leading and following equally. At least while dating a girl from Scandinavia!
Anyways…
I just want to talk to her and I’ve reached out recently, but no response at all. Zero… it’s bazar! The only explanation that fits this is she fell in love with another man during Covid and our forced distance apart. How do I get her to sit down and talk? 😢
Like I mentioned to you before, we never fought or argued; it was always a great time when together. 😢
Hi TheTrailDancer,
Again, if you keep telling yourself that your situation is unique and nothing will work for you, then yes you will be correct. But if you decide like my clients below your situation is not special and and start to learn and grow in the right ways, the massive ways then you too can achieve your desired outcome.
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
I like a background.
I guess this can be interpreted many ways and before I make the wrong assumption. Tell me more on what you are commenting to.
@Geoffrey Setiawan apologies for the lack of information. I like to see an actual background and not the plain white one. I like a portrait effect that blurs the background. Just my humble opinion.
The title lol
So your videos are only for heterosexual couples? It seems like it.