That's a pretty interesting view on trauma. It's a bit too vague for me to use personally. Because unexpected negative events kind of always happen. But I get why you would say that.
@@Myke_thehumanan example of this would be my cousin being killed by an unknown assailant. It’s a slim thing to happen to anyone but it happened to my family
Neuro diverse ppl often suffer from a lot of trauma particularly through micro traumas. The world is not kind to them being different. This needs to be understood more in the world. Bullying has life long consequences for ppl, especially neuro diverse ppl
I repeatedly heard something along the lines of "You just need to try harder" in my life The phrase of "You're not enough, the way you are" seems to be burned inside of my skull I often times only received love in exchange for a good performance - rarely for trying everything I could to deserve it It really helped reading your comment, because this is exactly what I thought after I watched the video - to see that as the top comment as I scrolled down brought tears to my eyes - so thank you for including me :)
@@JulianTrebes your welcome. I'm neuro diverse myself and I've done a lot of soul searching. We are a section of society that has to medicate ourselves to fit in, change who we are to avoid trauma. We are judged so much on the little things we get wrong every single day from the day we are born. so few other than other NDs will ever really understand this trauma. The trauma of being punished by the entire world for being who you are. How many times are we told in our lives "just be yourself". How many times are NDs then told "no not like that" because ourselves don't fall within the neuro typical expectations. We are beautiful people. We are amazing people. But we are the fish who is being judged by their ability to climb a tree in modern society. Which just sucks for us.
Your defination of mini-trauma is right on, When I entered therapy I found that the majority of my issues were the non-life threatening trauma. Knowing that the trauma I suffered was still trauma helped me to begin to heal
For a long time I thought i didn't have trauma because of the DSM definition. But when i finally started therapy two years ago, I realized that I actually do have trauma, and a ton of it. A definition I read online once that resonated with me was "anything that is extremely stressful, disturbing, or scary." I've had a ton of events like that. The way I kind of see it is that trauma is something that happens that is so overwhelming in a negative way that your brain doesn't know how to properly file it away with the rest of your memories. Like a mifit piece to a puzzle. Perhaps something that shatters your worldview. Something that makes you think, "I don't know how to deal with this." Your guy's definition is pretty good, but I would say the definition of trauma should be even broader. But I do like your guy's point that it can be anything that makes your world feel unsafe in some way, and I love the point of the different kinds of safety needs other than just physical or mental that aren't talked about enough.
Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone. Fred Rogers
I see trauma as a scar on the psyche. We can have a serious 1 time injury which leaves a scar (ptsd or acute stress disorder) or lots of little scars which are a form of death by a thousand papercuts (c-ptsd).
That hit home big time. Facing my trauma with therapy and now thanks to this I have a better understanding why trauma has such a huge impact on me. Can't wait for the next video.
Yes, it resonates with me. As a childhood trauma survivor I am finally able to find freedom and healing since going no contact with my abuser. And oh gosh how long it took to even say words like "childhood trauma" and "my abuser" and see the whole experience for what it was.
It’s actually crazy the timing of ya’ll posting this video today. I just started therapy recently because I’ve been having panic attacks that were more frequent than ever. I was doing something to prevent the panic attacks happening but I knew it wasn’t healthy and it became I cycle I couldn’t stop. My therapist told me it was due to a trauma response. I was just SO confused when he said that because I feel like I’ve never experienced trauma. I’ve never been physically hurt by someone or seen war or anything. We haven’t got to talk about it more yet but I’m so thankful ya’ll made this video and explained what trauma means. I was really frustrated with my situation because I felt like I shouldn’t be going through what I am. After this video, I just felt so emotional and I just felt like maybe my feelings/emotions could be valid. So thankful for both of you. ❤
Dude the same thing happened to me. When I started therapy two years ago, my therapist pretty quickly said that I had a ton of trauma, and I was so confused and thought she must be wrong because I thought trauma was basically only getting raped, going to war, or surviving a natural disaster or a car accident - I specifically remember reading that online when I was younger and thinking to myself, "welp, I've had some difficult things in my life, but I've never experienced any of those things so it must not be trauma." Now, two years into therapy, I've learned a lot about how much I've been through that were forms of trauma that aren't as commonly known/talked about. So I feel this. I wish you luck in your journey of learning and healing!
I like the definition of trauma as "anything that overwhelms the nervous system's ability to cope." I feel that that explains why something that one person experiences as trauma, another doesn't - it depends on what our nervous system is set up for. CW: rape, sexual assault, emotional abuse. I was raped when I was 16, I didn't really experience that as a trauma but when my ex partner raped me after we broke up, I absolutely experienced that as a trauma because it broke trust along with the physical assault. Similarly, I was bullied in high school. Compared to many people it was very mild bullying, but because home wasn't safe it was a huge trauma for me - my nervous system wasn't able to deal with it because it was always on alert at home.
This is really helpful. I dont think i've ever had anything traumatic happen but the feeling of safety in the world being taken away is really accurate to how ive felt again and again since 2020. Knowing peoples have died and the people i could vare about could die, knowing how cruel the world is for some people and that i cant do anything about it, not having people around me or places like the mall open to get myself out of my own mind, some kids i used to know telling me i talked to much and was to emotional, still remembering my mom being tried or sick and that stopping me and my parents to go out sometimes, not knowing how to socialize with my family members and feeling like it's my fault. I just realized that its lot of things actually '•_• I'm better with some things but a handful of these are still lingering especially since i have difficulty accepting when others are wrong i make excuses for others of blame myself for the way that others act cus i hate knowing that i might make others feel bad. But i do need to accept that sometimes people are wrong sometimes i cant help others and that okay. Others will heal in their own time and in the meanwhile so will i :')
Thank you for this. According to the dsm me and my chosen family don't have Trauma. But we were all raised in a religious cult from birth. We never had a true sense of safety. We have no before identity to go back to. We are building ourselves now. I think of big T trauma as something that could cause PTSD, and little t trauma as something that could cause CPTSD.
Reacting with avoidance and fear... I'm diagnosed with cPTSD (my ace-score is 7) and AVPD (and depression and chronified ED). Also was bullied badly for decades. I never really had a safe place. Sounds almost like a "textbook" case. Your take on this 100% resonates with me. I'm at the moment still somewhat pondering if I might consider going to a specialized hospital for my trauma issues. But I'm very unsure and scared about it (not only because during forced stays in mental health institutions, I've had even more traumatizing incidents happen to me.)
It really helps, but I still have triggers. I don't know how to get past that. Everyone thinks that I can't do anything for myself. I felt that way when my mom told me that I could not go into the culinary arts, because to make it in that industry I had to be the best of the best. My husband makes me feel that way when he says you can't go for a walk or bake. I know he loves me and is just protecting me, but it makes me feel like I can't do anything for myself.
It’s the fear of failure. Do small stuff and fail and then and rejoice because you did them instead of doing nothing. It will build your confidence❤. 99.99% of self-doubt happens when not even doing the thing itself, the thing that we’re afraid to do but want to do. (Edited for typos.)
@@maggieo1683 It might sound a bit controlling to everyone, but he said that he wants to protect me from the danger that is out there. I have put myself in some dangerous situation and he came to my rescue that is how I met him.
I don't want to go into too much detail, as that's for my therapist. Over the last couple months, some things have happened between my sister and her husband, who I was very close with, that have dug up a lot of childhood memories that I hadn't necessarily forcibly hidden away, but I also hadn't addressed them. It's caused me to really question my faith. I grew up in a legalistic environment, and while I still have a relationship with God, I have a lot of resentment toward the church. This recent issue between my sister and her husband has dug up even more resentment than I already thought I had. I'm working through it, though.
It's a great definition. And just yesterday there was a stream on HealthyGamerHG with Dr. K on the topic. I laughed when I saw how you and him made trauma the topic. Now I have a very solid foundation of what is going on there and it's actually helpful to hear it explained in several ways and from several angles to get a better grasp of the greater picture. I'm really looking forward to you expanding on that series. I already loved your previous videos with Alicia speaking on the internal process and how we can speak with ourselves in the context of trauma (that's the best way I can put it. I know this wasn't exactly the best summery of that, sorry 😅) Either way thank you for your guidance!
2:34 was that slight audio change an error or an editing trick? Because, man, that felt scarily accurate to the context if it was the former. 3:30 Every time I get migraines, it's always on the left side of my head. Suddenly that makes a lot more sense now
I had a sudden trauma breakthrough. I tried to work on it for years. And one night I had a sudden epiphany. It hit me like a thousand suns and suddenly I felt whole again. Now I feel like I could burst from happiness and I can't handle it, it's too overwhelming. It sounds so silly... Has anyone had a similar experience? And could you maybe make a video on how to deal with being happy after trauma?
With this explanation of trauma I would definitely fall under the trauma umbrella. And I have a pretty hard time believing that. I mean my father was mean. Sure. I could buy that he was emotionally neglectful, and far too critical. But it seems....silly, to call that trauma. Trauma in my mind is something that derails your entire life. Something that you have a very hard time moving on from. I have a very hard time calling that fact that I never felt emotionally safe. Trauma.... I guess if I assumed that all of that was traumatic. Then it could explain a few things. I just don't like the idea that I "should" be close to my family. That I "should" be willing to drop everything to help my parents if they decide they need help. Why? It's not like it's reciprocal, it's not like I have years of loving memories of them. They did thier job, kept me and my brother alive. And now I get to leave thier home and thier rules and demands. And I get to live on my own. I'm not angry at them. It'd be totally pointless to be angry. It's not like they give a damn. They did what they thought was best and it's not like thier going to admit they did anything wrong. So being mad would be like yelling at a wall. Only it's not wrong to punch a wall. It's very wrong to punch a parent. And it's something an angry moody child would do. So I'm just going to live my life, my way. And eventually they'll demand that I did things for them. And I'll see if I feel it's something I can do, when the time comes. But this prescriptive you've been traumatized kind of viewpoint. It feels like I'm being manipulated back into just serving at my parents beck and call. I left that environment for a reason. I'm not going to go back and mend that relationship. I'm better off making new friendships where I'd actually want to help if help was asked from me. I've already done my part, I've respectfully listened to their views and tried to explain my view. They don't have any interest in actually listening. So I'm definitely out. ---- Also they are in a cult, or at least an extremely high control religion. So listening to them would mean joining that cult again. It's definitely never happening.
I don't think they are advocating actually talking to your abusers, just acknowledging that you've been traumatized by them. I saw nothing in this video that said you had to have anything to do with them again. I would encourage you not to, but definitely realize that what you experienced was trauma & don't try to bury it. Your body won't let you, if it is truly trauma. It needs to be dealt with.
I usually view mine as 'social' or 'personal' trauma. Where most of the 'social' trauma is 'micro' trauma. Its the things repeated into me time and time again by source and source again. The things that I have few or no Specific examples, just that they were repeated so often by so many it doesnt matter to be specific. Or ones that aren't personal, that may have a specific but by people that didnt have much place in my life. 'Personal' being primarily the main bully that was my first and worst, the parent. The one/s who shoulve helped me Not be traumatized and instead caused it the longest, with the majority of specific events too. Healing is a process. It's strange to feel like I'm "going home" in this process when I know that I've never, in fact, in this life, had that "home". The safety and further, security I'm building around me in the healing process is home in a way I've never had and yet feels like returning. And that safety is one technique I use. To remind myself that I am Safe to cry or flinch or express whatever emotion I need to in what way I need to. As well as that knowing logically I am safe doesn't mean I'll necessarily Feel safe. Just bringing perceptipn and reality alongside each other, acknowledging that that perception exists based on past, is valid, and is not helpful, and allowing myself the space to cry or express how I need to and at what level I am comfortable to.
Had an event of misfortune in the lottery in the decillions to one in odds, equivalent to about 5 lottery wins. Threw away £36 million. Had spiralling debacle of series of trauma ever since. I think i may have worst PTSD in the world. I'm alone with an event that's never happened before, or going to happen to anybody else again. It's not good. I need compensation from them for it to be removed from my life.
TLDR version - I'm 32, and ever since I was in school, I believed that I had terrible memory, which caused me to be awful at school. Is failing at school due to my ongoing beliefs qualify as a micro trauma?
There is a reason why it is the DSM-5. There have been versions before this one, and there will be more versions to come as new information is brought to light. It's not a rigid thing, but changing.
I think the whole DSM definition that stresses life-threatening events is so ass-backward. I've had psychiatrists go "well, it certainly has all the symptoms but none of the events you describe qualify so it must be some kind of personality disorder we can't define...." only to find out that the memories that did qualify were deeply repressed. 🙄 On top of that, the traumas that cause me the most problems on a daily basis and the ones I have the most flashbacks/nightmares about, wouldn't fit those criteria either. For instance, one of the worst things that triggers me is caused by constant and repeated gaslighting. Something the DSM wouldn't think is traumatic. It also fails to recognize that experiences cluster. For instance, I will experience any malicious abuse of power/authority over my person in the context of sexual violence. Meaning that when someone enjoys wielding power over my situation and does so with malicious intent, take some person who gets to decide whether or not you get to have a wheelchair for instance, and they happen to be the kind of person that gets off on being in that kind of position, and they make the whole thing as unpleasant and dragged out as possible and force you to sue the government branch they represent in order to get the thing that you need and have a right to while also wanting to make you grovel and gloat about it, then I experience those events in the context of past experiences of sexual violence. Because to me they are thematically the same. This not only means that I re-experience that trauma in that moment with that as a trigger, it fully re-traumatizes me and deepens the existing trauma to the point where everything to do with that encounter now has also become a trigger for the sexual violence trauma. That kind of clustering seems to happen because of the C-PTSD specifically because the mechanisms surrounding the trauma have become more complicated through repeated instances of the same kind of traumatic event happening over and over throughout your life. Psychology is in my opinion woefully behind on all this and needs to expand it's definitions. I understand that including micro-traumas isn't particularly useful for making easy PTSD diagnoses, because of the whole 'where do you draw the line then?" thing, but the thing is that there is no line. The severity will always be in how a person experiences an event, not in the event itself. So 'objectively' grading that stuff to determine if PTSD is plausible will always have to be done based on the symptoms that a person experiences, not on the events that may or may not have been the root cause. If all the bad it does is make it harder to determine which life events should definitely be targeted with EMDR therapy, and the good it does is that many people suffering PTSD don't go undiagnosed, then I think that's a bloody good trade. We need to stop thinking that PTSD only happens to soldiers at war. That does happen, and is serious but medical science has this tendency to only consider a condition serious if it happens to a man. The results of that are pretty horrifying. For further reading find a study called "clinician-induced PTSD under EDS patients" or something very close to that wording. Specifically the clinician induced part of the title I'm certain of. People with my specific medical diagnosis take an average of 25 years to achieve that diagnosis and they have a list of comorbid extremely rare disorders that is super long of which nr 13 (being PTSD) is present in like 34% of patients. That should tell you how many vague disorders no one can easily diagnose the average person with EDS has. This causes most doctors to tell us that it's all psychosomatic, and abuse and gaslight us. 86% of EDS patients have classic PTSD symptoms relating to dealing with medical professionals. Medical trauma requires there to be an experience of death or almost dying so most don't qualify for that diangnosis, purely based on that requirement but match the profile of problems and symptoms in all other ways. It's an interesting study that underscores the whole relevance of that sense of safety
Blarg... not landing. I really wish people wouldn't expand the definition of trauma. It waters it down. Instead of Micro-traumas, call it something else... anything else... there's got to be a better term for it. Dictionary says trauma is, "1. a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. 2. Physical injury." You even read out the DSM5 definition. Leave it at that. Using the same word (even as micro-traumas) to evelope it all muddies the water and further wounds and downplays/diminishes the experiences of people who had major trauma. Please, please CREATE a different word for low-level feelings of non-safety. Students talk about not being able to eat in the classroom at school should not be using a word that is anything close to what a veteran or an abandoned child went through. It's not about competition of suffering, either... it's about clarification and understanding.
To me a trauma is when something you think “isn’t going to happen to you” happens to you and it shakes up your entire world view
That's a pretty interesting view on trauma. It's a bit too vague for me to use personally. Because unexpected negative events kind of always happen.
But I get why you would say that.
@@Myke_thehumanan example of this would be my cousin being killed by an unknown assailant. It’s a slim thing to happen to anyone but it happened to my family
Neuro diverse ppl often suffer from a lot of trauma particularly through micro traumas. The world is not kind to them being different. This needs to be understood more in the world. Bullying has life long consequences for ppl, especially neuro diverse ppl
Exactly!! That trauma does not go away easily 😢
I repeatedly heard something along the lines of "You just need to try harder" in my life
The phrase of "You're not enough, the way you are" seems to be burned inside of my skull
I often times only received love in exchange for a good performance - rarely for trying everything I could to deserve it
It really helped reading your comment, because this is exactly what I thought after I watched the video - to see that as the top comment as I scrolled down brought tears to my eyes - so thank you for including me :)
@@JulianTrebes your welcome. I'm neuro diverse myself and I've done a lot of soul searching. We are a section of society that has to medicate ourselves to fit in, change who we are to avoid trauma. We are judged so much on the little things we get wrong every single day from the day we are born.
so few other than other NDs will ever really understand this trauma. The trauma of being punished by the entire world for being who you are. How many times are we told in our lives "just be yourself". How many times are NDs then told "no not like that" because ourselves don't fall within the neuro typical expectations.
We are beautiful people. We are amazing people. But we are the fish who is being judged by their ability to climb a tree in modern society. Which just sucks for us.
Your defination of mini-trauma is right on, When I entered therapy I found that the majority of my issues were the non-life threatening trauma. Knowing that the trauma I suffered was still trauma helped me to begin to heal
For a long time I thought i didn't have trauma because of the DSM definition. But when i finally started therapy two years ago, I realized that I actually do have trauma, and a ton of it. A definition I read online once that resonated with me was "anything that is extremely stressful, disturbing, or scary." I've had a ton of events like that. The way I kind of see it is that trauma is something that happens that is so overwhelming in a negative way that your brain doesn't know how to properly file it away with the rest of your memories. Like a mifit piece to a puzzle. Perhaps something that shatters your worldview. Something that makes you think, "I don't know how to deal with this." Your guy's definition is pretty good, but I would say the definition of trauma should be even broader. But I do like your guy's point that it can be anything that makes your world feel unsafe in some way, and I love the point of the different kinds of safety needs other than just physical or mental that aren't talked about enough.
What used to keep us safe, now keeps us stuck is a brilliant and truthful way of looking at it!
Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.
Fred Rogers
True. Trauma can leave us operating in survival mode (continually or when triggered), which doesn’t leave much room for peace and joy, or even love.
I see trauma as a scar on the psyche. We can have a serious 1 time injury which leaves a scar (ptsd or acute stress disorder) or lots of little scars which are a form of death by a thousand papercuts (c-ptsd).
That hit home big time. Facing my trauma with therapy and now thanks to this I have a better understanding why trauma has such a huge impact on me. Can't wait for the next video.
Yes, it resonates with me. As a childhood trauma survivor I am finally able to find freedom and healing since going no contact with my abuser. And oh gosh how long it took to even say words like "childhood trauma" and "my abuser" and see the whole experience for what it was.
It’s actually crazy the timing of ya’ll posting this video today. I just started therapy recently because I’ve been having panic attacks that were more frequent than ever. I was doing something to prevent the panic attacks happening but I knew it wasn’t healthy and it became I cycle I couldn’t stop. My therapist told me it was due to a trauma response. I was just SO confused when he said that because I feel like I’ve never experienced trauma. I’ve never been physically hurt by someone or seen war or anything. We haven’t got to talk about it more yet but I’m so thankful ya’ll made this video and explained what trauma means. I was really frustrated with my situation because I felt like I shouldn’t be going through what I am. After this video, I just felt so emotional and I just felt like maybe my feelings/emotions could be valid. So thankful for both of you. ❤
Dude the same thing happened to me. When I started therapy two years ago, my therapist pretty quickly said that I had a ton of trauma, and I was so confused and thought she must be wrong because I thought trauma was basically only getting raped, going to war, or surviving a natural disaster or a car accident - I specifically remember reading that online when I was younger and thinking to myself, "welp, I've had some difficult things in my life, but I've never experienced any of those things so it must not be trauma." Now, two years into therapy, I've learned a lot about how much I've been through that were forms of trauma that aren't as commonly known/talked about. So I feel this. I wish you luck in your journey of learning and healing!
Thank you for sharing some of your experience as well! It feels good to know I’m not alone in feeling that way. Love and appreciate your comment!
I really needed to hear this today! I have a lot of medical trauma, which often gets dismissed from the PTSD umbrella
I like the definition of trauma as "anything that overwhelms the nervous system's ability to cope." I feel that that explains why something that one person experiences as trauma, another doesn't - it depends on what our nervous system is set up for.
CW: rape, sexual assault, emotional abuse.
I was raped when I was 16, I didn't really experience that as a trauma but when my ex partner raped me after we broke up, I absolutely experienced that as a trauma because it broke trust along with the physical assault.
Similarly, I was bullied in high school. Compared to many people it was very mild bullying, but because home wasn't safe it was a huge trauma for me - my nervous system wasn't able to deal with it because it was always on alert at home.
This is really helpful. I dont think i've ever had anything traumatic happen but the feeling of safety in the world being taken away is really accurate to how ive felt again and again since 2020. Knowing peoples have died and the people i could vare about could die, knowing how cruel the world is for some people and that i cant do anything about it, not having people around me or places like the mall open to get myself out of my own mind, some kids i used to know telling me i talked to much and was to emotional, still remembering my mom being tried or sick and that stopping me and my parents to go out sometimes, not knowing how to socialize with my family members and feeling like it's my fault. I just realized that its lot of things actually '•_• I'm better with some things but a handful of these are still lingering especially since i have difficulty accepting when others are wrong i make excuses for others of blame myself for the way that others act cus i hate knowing that i might make others feel bad. But i do need to accept that sometimes people are wrong sometimes i cant help others and that okay. Others will heal in their own time and in the meanwhile so will i :')
Very helpful.. Looking forward to this whole trauma series
Thank you for this. According to the dsm me and my chosen family don't have Trauma. But we were all raised in a religious cult from birth. We never had a true sense of safety. We have no before identity to go back to. We are building ourselves now. I think of big T trauma as something that could cause PTSD, and little t trauma as something that could cause CPTSD.
Reacting with avoidance and fear... I'm diagnosed with cPTSD (my ace-score is 7) and AVPD (and depression and chronified ED). Also was bullied badly for decades. I never really had a safe place. Sounds almost like a "textbook" case.
Your take on this 100% resonates with me.
I'm at the moment still somewhat pondering if I might consider going to a specialized hospital for my trauma issues. But I'm very unsure and scared about it (not only because during forced stays in mental health institutions, I've had even more traumatizing incidents happen to me.)
That poem is perfect with how I have felt; and still feel!
It really helps, but I still have triggers. I don't know how to get past that. Everyone thinks that I can't do anything for myself. I felt that way when my mom told me that I could not go into the culinary arts, because to make it in that industry I had to be the best of the best. My husband makes me feel that way when he says you can't go for a walk or bake. I know he loves me and is just protecting me, but it makes me feel like I can't do anything for myself.
It’s the fear of failure. Do small stuff and fail and then and rejoice because you did them instead of doing nothing. It will build your confidence❤. 99.99% of self-doubt happens when not even doing the thing itself, the thing that we’re afraid to do but want to do. (Edited for typos.)
@@tiffanypersaud3518 Thank you for the kind words.
Honestly, your mom and especially your husband sound kind of toxic- what does he mean, you can't go on a walk? Sounds a bit controlling.
@@maggieo1683 It might sound a bit controlling to everyone, but he said that he wants to protect me from the danger that is out there. I have put myself in some dangerous situation and he came to my rescue that is how I met him.
@@maggieo1683 My mom is spot on and she is right now 5 hours away from me. I only call her when I can deal with her.
These guys mend my light
I don't want to go into too much detail, as that's for my therapist. Over the last couple months, some things have happened between my sister and her husband, who I was very close with, that have dug up a lot of childhood memories that I hadn't necessarily forcibly hidden away, but I also hadn't addressed them. It's caused me to really question my faith.
I grew up in a legalistic environment, and while I still have a relationship with God, I have a lot of resentment toward the church. This recent issue between my sister and her husband has dug up even more resentment than I already thought I had. I'm working through it, though.
It's a great definition. And just yesterday there was a stream on HealthyGamerHG with Dr. K on the topic. I laughed when I saw how you and him made trauma the topic. Now I have a very solid foundation of what is going on there and it's actually helpful to hear it explained in several ways and from several angles to get a better grasp of the greater picture. I'm really looking forward to you expanding on that series. I already loved your previous videos with Alicia speaking on the internal process and how we can speak with ourselves in the context of trauma (that's the best way I can put it. I know this wasn't exactly the best summery of that, sorry 😅)
Either way thank you for your guidance!
Thank you!
I hope Alicia has a wonderful Mother's Day.
Since we know that trauma doesn’t have to be physically threatening to your life, can the DSM-5 PLEASE change the definition of trauma?!
2:34 was that slight audio change an error or an editing trick? Because, man, that felt scarily accurate to the context if it was the former.
3:30 Every time I get migraines, it's always on the left side of my head. Suddenly that makes a lot more sense now
I had a sudden trauma breakthrough. I tried to work on it for years. And one night I had a sudden epiphany. It hit me like a thousand suns and suddenly I felt whole again. Now I feel like I could burst from happiness and I can't handle it, it's too overwhelming. It sounds so silly...
Has anyone had a similar experience?
And could you maybe make a video on how to deal with being happy after trauma?
With this explanation of trauma I would definitely fall under the trauma umbrella. And I have a pretty hard time believing that.
I mean my father was mean. Sure. I could buy that he was emotionally neglectful, and far too critical. But it seems....silly, to call that trauma.
Trauma in my mind is something that derails your entire life. Something that you have a very hard time moving on from.
I have a very hard time calling that fact that I never felt emotionally safe. Trauma....
I guess if I assumed that all of that was traumatic. Then it could explain a few things. I just don't like the idea that I "should" be close to my family. That I "should" be willing to drop everything to help my parents if they decide they need help.
Why? It's not like it's reciprocal, it's not like I have years of loving memories of them. They did thier job, kept me and my brother alive. And now I get to leave thier home and thier rules and demands. And I get to live on my own.
I'm not angry at them. It'd be totally pointless to be angry. It's not like they give a damn. They did what they thought was best and it's not like thier going to admit they did anything wrong.
So being mad would be like yelling at a wall. Only it's not wrong to punch a wall. It's very wrong to punch a parent. And it's something an angry moody child would do.
So I'm just going to live my life, my way. And eventually they'll demand that I did things for them. And I'll see if I feel it's something I can do, when the time comes.
But this prescriptive you've been traumatized kind of viewpoint. It feels like I'm being manipulated back into just serving at my parents beck and call.
I left that environment for a reason. I'm not going to go back and mend that relationship. I'm better off making new friendships where I'd actually want to help if help was asked from me.
I've already done my part, I've respectfully listened to their views and tried to explain my view. They don't have any interest in actually listening. So I'm definitely out.
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Also they are in a cult, or at least an extremely high control religion. So listening to them would mean joining that cult again. It's definitely never happening.
I don't think they are advocating actually talking to your abusers, just acknowledging that you've been traumatized by them. I saw nothing in this video that said you had to have anything to do with them again. I would encourage you not to, but definitely realize that what you experienced was trauma & don't try to bury it. Your body won't let you, if it is truly trauma. It needs to be dealt with.
I usually view mine as 'social' or 'personal' trauma. Where most of the 'social' trauma is 'micro' trauma. Its the things repeated into me time and time again by source and source again. The things that I have few or no Specific examples, just that they were repeated so often by so many it doesnt matter to be specific. Or ones that aren't personal, that may have a specific but by people that didnt have much place in my life. 'Personal' being primarily the main bully that was my first and worst, the parent. The one/s who shoulve helped me Not be traumatized and instead caused it the longest, with the majority of specific events too.
Healing is a process. It's strange to feel like I'm "going home" in this process when I know that I've never, in fact, in this life, had that "home". The safety and further, security I'm building around me in the healing process is home in a way I've never had and yet feels like returning.
And that safety is one technique I use. To remind myself that I am Safe to cry or flinch or express whatever emotion I need to in what way I need to. As well as that knowing logically I am safe doesn't mean I'll necessarily Feel safe. Just bringing perceptipn and reality alongside each other, acknowledging that that perception exists based on past, is valid, and is not helpful, and allowing myself the space to cry or express how I need to and at what level I am comfortable to.
Had an event of misfortune in the lottery in the decillions to one in odds, equivalent to about 5 lottery wins. Threw away £36 million. Had spiralling debacle of series of trauma ever since. I think i may have worst PTSD in the world. I'm alone with an event that's never happened before, or going to happen to anybody else again. It's not good. I need compensation from them for it to be removed from my life.
TLDR version - I'm 32, and ever since I was in school, I believed that I had terrible memory, which caused me to be awful at school.
Is failing at school due to my ongoing beliefs qualify as a micro trauma?
I can’t believe that’s the only interpretation of trauma in the DSM5, that’s so damaging if that’s the “bible of psychology”
There is a reason why it is the DSM-5. There have been versions before this one, and there will be more versions to come as new information is brought to light. It's not a rigid thing, but changing.
Ouch...
How do we get unstuck
Still waiting for the next episode of Gilmore Girls get therapized
I think the whole DSM definition that stresses life-threatening events is so ass-backward. I've had psychiatrists go "well, it certainly has all the symptoms but none of the events you describe qualify so it must be some kind of personality disorder we can't define...." only to find out that the memories that did qualify were deeply repressed. 🙄
On top of that, the traumas that cause me the most problems on a daily basis and the ones I have the most flashbacks/nightmares about, wouldn't fit those criteria either. For instance, one of the worst things that triggers me is caused by constant and repeated gaslighting. Something the DSM wouldn't think is traumatic.
It also fails to recognize that experiences cluster. For instance, I will experience any malicious abuse of power/authority over my person in the context of sexual violence. Meaning that when someone enjoys wielding power over my situation and does so with malicious intent, take some person who gets to decide whether or not you get to have a wheelchair for instance, and they happen to be the kind of person that gets off on being in that kind of position, and they make the whole thing as unpleasant and dragged out as possible and force you to sue the government branch they represent in order to get the thing that you need and have a right to while also wanting to make you grovel and gloat about it, then I experience those events in the context of past experiences of sexual violence. Because to me they are thematically the same. This not only means that I re-experience that trauma in that moment with that as a trigger, it fully re-traumatizes me and deepens the existing trauma to the point where everything to do with that encounter now has also become a trigger for the sexual violence trauma. That kind of clustering seems to happen because of the C-PTSD specifically because the mechanisms surrounding the trauma have become more complicated through repeated instances of the same kind of traumatic event happening over and over throughout your life.
Psychology is in my opinion woefully behind on all this and needs to expand it's definitions. I understand that including micro-traumas isn't particularly useful for making easy PTSD diagnoses, because of the whole 'where do you draw the line then?" thing, but the thing is that there is no line. The severity will always be in how a person experiences an event, not in the event itself. So 'objectively' grading that stuff to determine if PTSD is plausible will always have to be done based on the symptoms that a person experiences, not on the events that may or may not have been the root cause. If all the bad it does is make it harder to determine which life events should definitely be targeted with EMDR therapy, and the good it does is that many people suffering PTSD don't go undiagnosed, then I think that's a bloody good trade.
We need to stop thinking that PTSD only happens to soldiers at war. That does happen, and is serious but medical science has this tendency to only consider a condition serious if it happens to a man. The results of that are pretty horrifying.
For further reading find a study called "clinician-induced PTSD under EDS patients" or something very close to that wording. Specifically the clinician induced part of the title I'm certain of. People with my specific medical diagnosis take an average of 25 years to achieve that diagnosis and they have a list of comorbid extremely rare disorders that is super long of which nr 13 (being PTSD) is present in like 34% of patients. That should tell you how many vague disorders no one can easily diagnose the average person with EDS has. This causes most doctors to tell us that it's all psychosomatic, and abuse and gaslight us. 86% of EDS patients have classic PTSD symptoms relating to dealing with medical professionals. Medical trauma requires there to be an experience of death or almost dying so most don't qualify for that diangnosis, purely based on that requirement but match the profile of problems and symptoms in all other ways.
It's an interesting study that underscores the whole relevance of that sense of safety
I'm trauma. Lol
Blarg... not landing. I really wish people wouldn't expand the definition of trauma. It waters it down. Instead of Micro-traumas, call it something else... anything else... there's got to be a better term for it. Dictionary says trauma is, "1. a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. 2. Physical injury." You even read out the DSM5 definition. Leave it at that.
Using the same word (even as micro-traumas) to evelope it all muddies the water and further wounds and downplays/diminishes the experiences of people who had major trauma.
Please, please CREATE a different word for low-level feelings of non-safety.
Students talk about not being able to eat in the classroom at school should not be using a word that is anything close to what a veteran or an abandoned child went through.
It's not about competition of suffering, either... it's about clarification and understanding.
Don’t ever tell your trauma to other people because there’s a good chance you’ll get invalidated and further traumatized.