My ex was exactly like this, whenever he does something wrong I would call him out but instead of solving the problem he preferred giving me silent treatments, it would even go for months. He didn't want to solve anything. When he finally breaks the silence he would play victim and label me as controlling. Narcissists are emotionally draining and they never apologize. I left him, I couldn't stand his nonsense.
Lerato, I know from a first hand experience what you are saying. I started having sleepless nights. I finally break up with him and today I'm sleeping well and happy generally.
I was married for many years to a narcissistic man. I used to do everything to keep the peace and nothing was good enough. Then one day I said enough! We would have an argument and he would consistently tell me he was done with me. I was given silent treatment for days on end. Meanwhile he would so nice to the neighbors, my female friends and kids female teachers. He would see me upset and tell me to get a grip. There was no empathy. A cold cold man. It took me years to get myself to my old self. Please there are red flags before you marry these kind of people. I am very empathetic and loving and these kind of men are drawn to warm and nurturing people. The best thing is keep away and value yourself.
This is 💯% true I was in that kind of a relationship he won’t solve any issue he will go mute and most of the time he was the one who was wrong. Narcissistic was also arrogant and dictator now he has been with more than 20 women but no one stay a year. He is 55yrs miserable and desperate but it was so traumatising. Thank God am free from that bondage
Silence is Golden....If a naccissist gives you the silent treatment, take it as a golden oppurtunity to run away!!! RUN...coz its never over with naccissist....Run💃💃💃💃
Sure... someone goes for a month n comes back..it's so exhausting...🤦🏾♀️u try to talk but someone doesn't care about the problem ... someone is never open...they got a high ego...am drained abt this...I AV never been in such kind of a relationship...it feels like u AV dated for years n it's only months..am trying to gain back my energy it's feels so bad like u are always wrong u keep apologizing n someone never keeps his promises 🥺
I’m grateful for this show and wish everyone had teaching like this growing up. I’m also concerned about the opening remarks about people who exit relationships and painting them in the negative including how they end up in divorce. I think that part contradicts the ultimate message and can keep people stuck in unhealthy and or narcissistic relationships. There’re times when leaving is the safe thing to do and we can’t paint everyone who leaves with a broad brush. I know that isn’t the intent of the show and differentiating for those who need to leave would have been helpful. You are a blessing to all of us. You’re saving lives. “To the world a narcissist looks human but to you they’re an animal“. Narcissists break you down from the inside out and are skilled in covering up their acts. People get stuck because the narc looks innocent and has already set you up so others believe them and not your story. Emotional abuse is silent evil - only you know what’s happening to you. Keep preaching this crucial message. Narcism is real and it’s not easy to spot especially the covert narcissist until you’re knee deep in shark infested water.
I've been self healing for 5yrs now the damage was intense, I was in a 9yrs marriage, my ex husband couldn't allow me to work or finish my studies.he cheated on with countless women and he would be beat me up until I was unconscious and I was allowed to have friends. He got kids with someone else while we were still married. I have not lived in my 20s ,I've been psychologically damaged and I've not dated since.you have confirmed everything I've experienced in my life. I need therapy asap
So sorry you're a strong woman for coming out of that marriage so proud of you. Healing takes time but you will definably heal in time. Sending you lots of love and hugs
I was in a long distance relationship with a Nigerian man for one year.if you have never experienced the silent treatment,you will never truly understand what someone goes through.he destroyed my self esteem,something died inside me,good news I will never fall for the trap of another one.
I have watched most of this Kenyan TV relationship and marriage counselors. This guy Zulu is the only that makes sense, his views are practical. I never knew him until one video popped and was glued, next thing is I binge watched and downloaded all videos he has appeared in. I love how Joyce knows how to engange him.(You need to watch him in different panels to understand) Good job you two! ( the ones behind the camera too)
Its painful that all my life I keep attracting people with that personality. They take take take, give silent treatment instead of solving issues, lying cheating manipulation gaslighting. I fear getting in a relationship now coz I don't want to be hurt again
Wish I saw this earlier I have been with someone who will go silent on me and ask for a break every time we will have an issue and very many red flags that I ignored.. By God's grace am still healing from that one toxic narcissistic relationship.. Thank you Joyce and Mr.Zulu for this discussion
Dealing with such walked away however you keep feeling damaged but I strongly believe it's the best decision choose to hurt n leave peacefully long term or stay n keep hurting 😵🤕😢walk away
The pray on us because we are the opposite of who they are. Its almost as if they're jealous of us. They will suck the soul out of you. I married a narcissist. We were together off and on thought for 10 years. Been away for 4 years. Haven't spoken to him since the beginning of the pandemic. He tried coming back. Lol NOPE.
Am glad and thankful for his advice! He is gifted to change people's mind!! Full of wisdom! Looking forward to see him when I pay a visit back home! Greet job!👏
Someone else suggested below and I agree this guy needs his own show. There is so much material that is left unexhausted because of time constraints I guess with the Joyce show.
Everythg Alex is explaining is right....unfortunately among Africans it is easily mistaken "to be luv "🤬.....met a guy that our relationship was according to his conditions....even in the bedroom...he wanted to control when to come and how i shld participate during intercourse....he only cared abt himself....had mood swings....wld behave like a stranger the nxt hr.....the guy was basically mean from 1- 100. One day i just told him....i cldn't be his galfriend anymore coz i hve failed to satisfy him in all ways ( I intentionally put the blame on me to achieve peace and freedom as long as he leaves me alone)....he celebrated i guess by salting more blame on me.....in 2wks time...reality hit him and he realised he had indirectly got dumped by me....my nightmare started again...he was very manipulative in his behaviour and sayings......e.g that he luved me, he can't chuck me bla bla bla👎....but I stod by my words....he is still hunting me up to now....despite the fact that he gets the same answer a million times in 1yr🤷♀️....WE R NOT GOOD FOR EACHOTHER( messaging) ....I never pick up his calls....and am sure he is pulling his hair like crazy for that BUT this is the right dose of medicine to pple with NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER!👈 Jimmy am glad u hve come to our rescue.💐...this is smthg we Africans r un-aware of and must be taught ONCE AND FOR ALL!👌 # AM HAPPY I CAN BREATH!😅☔
@@calmrelaxationmusic3256 - 😱😱😱😱😱 EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES made my skin freeze and wrinkle....i wish u were here to see my reaction.....my brain died but ur 💯✔ .....Am making him DEAD from now.....no more contacts.🙅♀️🙅♀️ Thanks for opening my eyes wider than before.
@@calmrelaxationmusic3256 - love hoovers, emotional vampires, manipulators, anti socials, psycopaths, e.t.c.🤯....a very dangerous and severe mental disorder.🤧🤮🤕🤒😷 Ur actually right coz he cld disappear for even 3mths then bang....he is bk in the sweetest way u can imagine but i knew it is a trap....he even bought me a ring that i dodged coz i wasn't happy and didn't exactly know how or where I stand with him. 😪 All i knew it wasn't luv.
@@calmrelaxationmusic3256 you just told my story In and out of a relationship for 3years ,always coming sweeter than before ,promising me all the things will be better ,blaming me for everything that went wrong in the relationship ...including his cheating ,once tried to give me the family ring ,always crying about his childhood and blaming his actions on it .. I was miserable and depressed with no one to open up too But once I decided to leave 💃 I was gone for good ,zero contact , distant in every aspect of life It's been more than a year now without contact
You dd the right thing Tasha ,I had such a guy who also wanted to control like everything I was doing even b4 we got into a relationship, he claimed that I was not supposed to even talk to my male friends .I saw it good to end things once and for all with him.but up-to-date he still claims that I made the decision by myself without consulting him.he is a real narcissist .Leaving was the best decision .
@@wambuiwinnie99 - Oooh Gosh.....this one doesnot even speak....he shouts on top of his lungs and insults u. Kg there pple watching it is even worse coz he gets high on it.🤮🤮
i was married to a narcissist, he worked so hard to ruin my self esteem . by Gods grace i was doing my undergraduate in counseling psychology so i had coping mechanisms, he made a mistake ya kunifukuza kwake. nilienda he tried reconciliation but i was done. self love my priority
I wish there was more insight to narcissistic mothers in the "black" or "African" community (speaking from uk). Its something that is never truly discussed, but the effects & damage are almost permanent
Beautiful topic, leaving narcissistic people is a fight, you must stay put even after you divorce them coz they still desire to manipulate and steal your joy. Just don’t put up with that kind of nonsense. Walk out and move on...pap.
This as much as i would agree with some of the points i also think someone needs to look at it objectively. Sometimes for example for me..... my partner gets super pissed n she throws words around n calls me really mean names. I always wonder what her expectations of me is at such times other than keeping quiet. I don't think such scenarios should be considered as narcissist. Coz when u go back n forth is just making the situation bad n for me i say hell no to emotional escalation.
But why is she calling you mean names? It's not right. Anger should not be an excuse to insult or be mean to those around you. Even though you choose to keep quite it does affect you. It's not healthy.
My stepmother is the narcissist in my family. She wants to control everything and everybody. We can't call our father directly otherwise it's a lack of respect and love towards her. She threatened my father with a knife because she found out he had a mistress. She is always making up stories creating problems between our father and me n my siblings. , and if we do not apologize, although we didn't do anything, my father will also refuse to talk to us. Its like she is possessed or something. As of now, the relationship between us and our father is non existimng, which is really sad. Hmm God help us!🙏
Why do I have a feeling that being a Narcissistic is more like a demon or a spirit that user's this people to hurd them and others?because someone commented that being delivered in God's house saved her from a Narcissistic ex. This is more like possessed people!
When I was young my sister use to say the man that will marry me need to come for advice before marring me,reasons be I have answers to every question,am a grown up now and my friends have known me for being a person you can't win over,do I have problem or what,
Usually people who rate highly on narcissism tend to have the know it all approach to conversation... They will talk you down until you agree with them or they have the last say..but you have to look at the other characteristics
I think I am a narcissist 😢😢😢. I think it's as a result of my upbringing. Fear was instilled in me and all I could do was keep quiet when I'm angry, I didn't know how to express myself. Upto date if I'm angry at someone I would just keep quiet till my anger is gone, how do I deal with it 😭😭
@@benjaminzuluglobal Hallo Benjamin. I have been following your advices on relationships. I have a huge problem, I don't know, I'm a very strong person of character. But when it comes to relationships I become so soft to a Male figure, and I hate it bcz I always get hurt in the end. How can I change that, I need to be still the free and strong person and not be fearful to address issues with my partner. I am really broken and really need your advice. Gail from SOUTH AFRICA
I know someone who's living under threats from an ex he's trying too hard to show that they have to be together if not one has to go down or both of them .... whenever i see such a case of deaths from spouses the person clicks on my mind...the best i could help the person is to tell the person to avoid any physical appearances with the narcissist without a third party involved and keep the texts intact ....we live in era where People are being killed for all the wrong reasons in the name of forced relationships...the irony about the person giving threats is that the person is already in a relationship as we speak 🤔😣😣 yet has the audacity to give threats very selfish individual....you can't force any person to love you .
My lover a complete naccist🙁🙁🙁🙁 a person never calls you for 4 days he says i have alot we shall talk. Still meets you and behaves like nothing happened
Can you also talk of narcissistic girlfriend's, I've had one for five years took me the last two years to raise it. She was an overt narcissist... I know I'm an empath n that has affected me a lot cos I put her needs much before mine
Eric you need to LOVE YOURSELF. I dated a narcissist and by week 8 I realised this man was sent by the devil to destroy me. I dumped and he started the usual I will kill myself, I can't live without you 🙄 etc... I told him hit the road if you have improved the next woman in your life will benefit but I am done and not interested. I think he got the memo after a year. These people are beyond redemption because they don't see they have a problem. I repeat, LOVE YOURSELF ERIC...You deserve better.
Benjamin Zulu has helped in counselling my son. We only spoke on phone and he did the rest. Such a professional. Thank you so much Benjamin. God bless you.
Hi Rhoda...Am so sorry for what you may be going through. That was like 7yrs ago. I have since lost his nbr. Please send him an email. He has given it. Am sure he will help you. Alternatively please call Counsellor Michael Njeru on 0722779220. He works with Zulu. You will be helped. All the best and please lemme know if successful. My email eanupi@gmail.com
![This is Why people cheat in relationships [Uncensored] - Benjamin Zulu](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/eaxYJbQrx6A/mqdefault.jpg)
My ex was exactly like this, whenever he does something wrong I would call him out but instead of solving the problem he preferred giving me silent treatments, it would even go for months. He didn't want to solve anything. When he finally breaks the silence he would play victim and label me as controlling. Narcissists are emotionally draining and they never apologize. I left him, I couldn't stand his nonsense.
Some keep malice for more than a year.
My bf is exactly like this..it's draining me
Lerato, I know from a first hand experience what you are saying. I started having sleepless nights. I finally break up with him and today I'm sleeping well and happy generally.
I can relate
I can relate...the better way is to leave him.
Only way to deal with a narcissistic person is leaving them, like physically leave then go heal your mind and soul
I was married for many years to a narcissistic man. I used to do everything to keep the peace and nothing was good enough. Then one day I said enough! We would have an argument and he would consistently tell me he was done with me. I was given silent treatment for days on end. Meanwhile he would so nice to the neighbors, my female friends and kids female teachers. He would see me upset and tell me to get a grip. There was no empathy. A cold cold man. It took me years to get myself to my old self. Please there are red flags before you marry these kind of people. I am very empathetic and loving and these kind of men are drawn to warm and nurturing people. The best thing is keep away and value yourself.
"its ok to be kind & nice.. relationships are not charity.. u don't have to donate love.."
☝️👍👌👏🏻👏🏻
True narcissits can make you give up on love completely.
Much true
This is 💯% true I was in that kind of a relationship he won’t solve any issue he will go mute and most of the time he was the one who was wrong. Narcissistic was also arrogant and dictator now he has been with more than 20 women but no one stay a year. He is 55yrs miserable and desperate but it was so traumatising. Thank God am free from that bondage
I am happy for you
This dude needs his own show. Wow. I just got Educated. Kudos Zulu👏👏👏👏👏👏💯💯💯💯💯
I agree
I agree too👍👍👍✔
For real, he is enlightening us a lot. I wish he had his RUclips Channel.
He has one....
And yes breaking up with a narccisist is a big fight better be ready.But run run run for your life and never look back.
Silence is Golden....If a naccissist gives you the silent treatment, take it as a golden oppurtunity to run away!!! RUN...coz its never over with naccissist....Run💃💃💃💃
True
Sure... someone goes for a month n comes back..it's so exhausting...🤦🏾♀️u try to talk but someone doesn't care about the problem ... someone is never open...they got a high ego...am drained abt this...I AV never been in such kind of a relationship...it feels like u AV dated for years n it's only months..am trying to gain back my energy it's feels so bad like u are always wrong u keep apologizing n someone never keeps his promises 🥺
Open truth
This guy has got so much wisdom am learning alot
Zulu God has given you a wisdom wooow
True
I agree with.
Definetly..
I’m grateful for this show and wish everyone had teaching like this growing up. I’m also concerned about the opening remarks about people who exit relationships and painting them in the negative including how they end up in divorce. I think that part contradicts the ultimate message and can keep people stuck in unhealthy and or narcissistic relationships. There’re times when leaving is the safe thing to do and we can’t paint everyone who leaves with a broad brush. I know that isn’t the intent of the show and differentiating for those who need to leave would have been helpful. You are a blessing to all of us. You’re saving lives. “To the world a narcissist looks human but to you they’re an animal“. Narcissists break you down from the inside out and are skilled in covering up their acts. People get stuck because the narc looks innocent and has already set you up so others believe them and not your story. Emotional abuse is silent evil - only you know what’s happening to you. Keep preaching this crucial message. Narcism is real and it’s not easy to spot especially the covert narcissist until you’re knee deep in shark infested water.
Self respect is your only defence against abuse...👌🏾👍🏽
This Coach is amazing. Please have him on the show often. I've learnt something today. Thank you.
I understand the lady who cannot leave. I left 10 times before I left and I felt very stuck, but I finally left after 3 yrs.
Too left like fifteen times bt left for good
I have left like a thousand times and am still struggling to leave
Two words: trauma bond. Apparently the average number of times you attempt to leave is seven before you finally leave.
I thank God I left a narccisist for good.It is the best decision I have made of late in my life.Thankyou Jesus!
Daughters of narcissistic mothers is very real! Great topic of discussion.
Every time i see this guy nakaanga na thermos ya chai glued.😍
I feel you😅😅🤣🤣🤣
Watching from SA, I've been binge watching the different episodes. This man is informed and doesn't hold back. Thank you Benjamin Zulu
"Their only way of resolve is exist", You guys just described my exhusband, wow!
I've been self healing for 5yrs now the damage was intense, I was in a 9yrs marriage, my ex husband couldn't allow me to work or finish my studies.he cheated on with countless women and he would be beat me up until I was unconscious and I was allowed to have friends. He got kids with someone else while we were still married. I have not lived in my 20s ,I've been psychologically damaged and I've not dated since.you have confirmed everything I've experienced in my life. I need therapy asap
So sorry you're a strong woman for coming out of that marriage so proud of you. Healing takes time but you will definably heal in time. Sending you lots of love and hugs
You need God more...Corona Tu iishe makanisa zifunguliwe
@@Wakinyua the church do not help when it comes to narcissistic abuse
Love and light you dear...it shall be well. You'll eventually completely heal
Look up a psychologist. They will help you.
I love the energy of this Psychologist..And mastery of content.
You know
I was dating one and l can honestly tell you that Jesus is the one who delivered me, l swear.
I was delivered too by Jesus,
Same aki
I have faith that I will come out victorious to
I need deliverance
Same way
Love how Benjamin explains every point into details, I need help in all angles
I was in a long distance relationship with a Nigerian man for one year.if you have never experienced the silent treatment,you will never truly understand what someone goes through.he destroyed my self esteem,something died inside me,good news I will never fall for the trap of another one.
Same here😭😭
And moreso the long distance relationships are the ones understanding this.
Very very wooooooo
Me too here
Why add Nigeria to the narrative ?? You dated a man that treated you badly end of story
Let’s hold individuals to their wrong not a nation .
@@omoego true
I have watched most of this Kenyan TV relationship and marriage counselors.
This guy Zulu is the only that makes sense, his views are practical.
I never knew him until one video popped and was glued, next thing is I binge watched and downloaded all videos he has appeared in.
I love how Joyce knows how to engange him.(You need to watch him in different panels to understand)
Good job you two! ( the ones behind the camera too)
Can you share his handles, website anything im inspired by him
Absolutely true!
He is of great help to this generation ,God bless him.
Following on this
Facebook he is Benjamin Zulu Ke
He just described me. What he said about being raised by a narcissist is exactly me and to make it worse im an Empath....He described me kabisa.
This is me as well. My mom is narcissistic and I’m an empath. It’s hard, I sometimes hate the fact the Hod chose her to be my mother
Accept Jesus Christ in your heart
Wow he speaks the reality thx switch tv proud ugandan following every bit😍😍😍😍
Guys, there are a lot of resources on RUclips, about narcissists and how to leave them. Mandugu na madada, erevukeni!
I know this guy. He'd preach in our school.... Muthale girls... He is so blessed 🤗🤗
Hey schoolmate...with Mrs petronilah mulwa
You are really revealing alot about some things I never understood about myself.
I've been a fan of this psychologist since I first saw him on K24...great content
Narcissist can't marry as if they have a spirit spouse, u can't trust them.
Its painful that all my life I keep attracting people with that personality. They take take take, give silent treatment instead of solving issues, lying cheating manipulation gaslighting. I fear getting in a relationship now coz I don't want to be hurt again
I’m going through it now, I don’t know what to do.
I am going through the same .
I am starting to think theres something in me that attracts them. Something in me needs to change
I thought I was the only one with such problems of meting wrong pple n relationships 😕
Been there. Done that. Bought a tshirt 😀 Experience is a ruthless teacher. Thank God for this show!
We have some here already... "Those who have disliked👀"
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂
😆😆😂
Proud to be here, I am learning a lot Zulu and Joyce
God bless 🙏
Love from South Sudan 🇸🇸❤️
Wish I saw this earlier
I have been with someone who will go silent on me and ask for a break every time we will have an issue and very many red flags that I ignored..
By God's grace am still healing from that one toxic narcissistic relationship..
Thank you Joyce and Mr.Zulu for this discussion
Sorry for that gal you made a bold move you deserve better
Dealing with such walked away however you keep feeling damaged but I strongly believe it's the best decision choose to hurt n leave peacefully long term or stay n keep hurting 😵🤕😢walk away
Please guys talk about tribal marriage... What to do when parents are against it.. #loving the show..
Breaking up to a narssist is not easy..you must be ready for a fight..cut all communications with them
I am an empath ,I dated a narcissist 4 years ago....my self esteem has never been the same again
The pray on us because we are the opposite of who they are. Its almost as if they're jealous of us. They will suck the soul out of you. I married a narcissist. We were together off and on thought for 10 years. Been away for 4 years. Haven't spoken to him since the beginning of the pandemic. He tried coming back. Lol NOPE.
@@Marie-sw5cd wow🤗🤗🤗🤗hugs
@@Marie-sw5cd true
Am glad and thankful for his advice! He is gifted to change people's mind!! Full of wisdom! Looking forward to see him when I pay a visit back home! Greet job!👏
Its good to have gone trough this episode. I would have not known why i have suffered all this time
When a narc meets a narc, girl, you would just love to grab some popcorns and watch them tearing each other up
Hehe😂
My confidence and peace of mind is important.
Someone else suggested below and I agree this guy needs his own show. There is so much material that is left unexhausted because of time constraints I guess with the Joyce show.
Very true, Benjamin needs more time. Too good, thank you. SD
Amazing information Benjamin Zulu, you are the best sir. Swaziland
Everythg Alex is explaining is right....unfortunately among Africans it is easily mistaken "to be luv "🤬.....met a guy that our relationship was according to his conditions....even in the bedroom...he wanted to control when to come and how i shld participate during intercourse....he only cared abt himself....had mood swings....wld behave like a stranger the nxt hr.....the guy was basically mean from 1- 100. One day i just told him....i cldn't be his galfriend anymore coz i hve failed to satisfy him in all ways ( I intentionally put the blame on me to achieve peace and freedom as long as he leaves me alone)....he celebrated i guess by salting more blame on me.....in 2wks time...reality hit him and he realised he had indirectly got dumped by me....my nightmare started again...he was very manipulative in his behaviour and sayings......e.g that he luved me, he can't chuck me bla bla bla👎....but I stod by my words....he is still hunting me up to now....despite the fact that he gets the same answer a million times in 1yr🤷♀️....WE R NOT GOOD FOR EACHOTHER( messaging) ....I never pick up his calls....and am sure he is pulling his hair like crazy for that BUT this is the right dose of medicine to pple with NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER!👈
Jimmy am glad u hve come to our rescue.💐...this is smthg we Africans r un-aware of and must be taught ONCE AND FOR ALL!👌
# AM HAPPY I CAN BREATH!😅☔
@@calmrelaxationmusic3256 - 😱😱😱😱😱 EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES made my skin freeze and wrinkle....i wish u were here to see my reaction.....my brain died but ur 💯✔ .....Am making him DEAD from now.....no more contacts.🙅♀️🙅♀️
Thanks for opening my eyes wider than before.
@@calmrelaxationmusic3256 - love hoovers, emotional vampires, manipulators, anti socials, psycopaths, e.t.c.🤯....a very dangerous and severe mental disorder.🤧🤮🤕🤒😷
Ur actually right coz he cld disappear for even 3mths then bang....he is bk in the sweetest way u can imagine but i knew it is a trap....he even bought me a ring that i dodged coz i wasn't happy and didn't exactly know how or where I stand with him. 😪 All i knew it wasn't luv.
@@calmrelaxationmusic3256 you just told my story
In and out of a relationship for 3years ,always coming sweeter than before ,promising me all the things will be better ,blaming me for everything that went wrong in the relationship ...including his cheating ,once tried to give me the family ring ,always crying about his childhood and blaming his actions on it .. I was miserable and depressed with no one to open up too
But once I decided to leave 💃 I was gone for good ,zero contact , distant in every aspect of life
It's been more than a year now without contact
You dd the right thing Tasha ,I had such a guy who also wanted to control like everything I was doing even b4 we got into a relationship, he claimed that I was not supposed to even talk to my male friends .I saw it good to end things once and for all with him.but up-to-date he still claims that I made the decision by myself without consulting him.he is a real narcissist .Leaving was the best decision .
@@wambuiwinnie99 - Oooh Gosh.....this one doesnot even speak....he shouts on top of his lungs and insults u. Kg there pple watching it is even worse coz he gets high on it.🤮🤮
I dated one who was so manupilative and arrogant in most of his responses.
True they can use force and lies to get whatever they want from you. How sad
I’m married situation not even a dating situation. But this real. Thanks!
It is indeed time we had these conversations and promote healthy relationships.😊
It's like you are talking about my current life Mr Zulu. I'm tired of this "space and breaks".
i was married to a narcissist, he worked so hard to ruin my self esteem . by Gods grace i was doing my undergraduate in counseling psychology so i had coping mechanisms, he made a mistake ya kunifukuza kwake. nilienda he tried reconciliation but i was done. self love my priority
Thanks Benjamin and Joyce for the show 😘 😘 😘 😘
I wish there was more insight to narcissistic mothers in the "black" or "African" community (speaking from uk). Its something that is never truly discussed, but the effects & damage are almost permanent
Tell me about it 😞
He should definitely get his own RUclips channel
Beautiful topic, leaving narcissistic people is a fight, you must stay put even after you divorce them coz they still desire to manipulate and steal your joy. Just don’t put up with that kind of nonsense. Walk out and move on...pap.
It’s amazing how I get answers here everytime
Basically he is talking about my mother ....
The golden child . the black sheep .the empath .narcasistic rage . the codependant . sigh ....
My dad is a malignant narcissist almost a sociopath
My God!!!😪😪 Why can I relate sooo much to my own parents, I pray to break the cycle in Jesus name
Gosh, something's are real
So true im the black sheep and my mother thrives in divide and conquer just pathetic this mother’s have no compassion or empathy!!!
@@cikunjuguna1948 you and me should meet and have coffee?
This as much as i would agree with some of the points i also think someone needs to look at it objectively. Sometimes for example for me..... my partner gets super pissed n she throws words around n calls me really mean names. I always wonder what her expectations of me is at such times other than keeping quiet. I don't think such scenarios should be considered as narcissist. Coz when u go back n forth is just making the situation bad n for me i say hell no to emotional escalation.
But why is she calling you mean names? It's not right. Anger should not be an excuse to insult or be mean to those around you. Even though you choose to keep quite it does affect you. It's not healthy.
My stepmother is the narcissist in my family. She wants to control everything and everybody. We can't call our father directly otherwise it's a lack of respect and love towards her. She threatened my father with a knife because she found out he had a mistress. She is always making up stories creating problems between our father and me n my siblings. , and if we do not apologize, although we didn't do anything, my father will also refuse to talk to us. Its like she is possessed or something. As of now, the relationship between us and our father is non existimng, which is really sad. Hmm God help us!🙏
Why do I have a feeling that being a Narcissistic is more like a demon or a spirit that user's this people to hurd them and others?because someone commented that being delivered in God's house saved her from a Narcissistic ex. This is more like possessed people!
My neighbor back then.proud of you mutemi
Waw, I love his wisdomi will always listen to his interviews
Aw thank you so much dear brother. This is a big unexpected problem may God help us
Aw and you too Joyce🙉 where are my manners thank you so much fo hosting this 🙂
Narcissists are insecure but wont admit it
wish you could more talks on narcissists. well done
solid wisdom. Kindly have the guy on the show often
When I was young my sister use to say the man that will marry me need to come for advice before marring me,reasons be I have answers to every question,am a grown up now and my friends have known me for being a person you can't win over,do I have problem or what,
Usually people who rate highly on narcissism tend to have the know it all approach to conversation... They will talk you down until you agree with them or they have the last say..but you have to look at the other characteristics
I appreciate my parents 😍😍...our upbringing was 👌 liberal not forced things .
I needed this guys❤thanks
You are not married to entire clan you are married to one person...... thank you
I think I am a narcissist 😢😢😢. I think it's as a result of my upbringing. Fear was instilled in me and all I could do was keep quiet when I'm angry, I didn't know how to express myself. Upto date if I'm angry at someone I would just keep quiet till my anger is gone, how do I deal with it 😭😭
Inbox we can talk benjaminzuluke@gmail.com
😭😭😭I too
@@benjaminzuluglobal
Hallo Benjamin. I have been following your advices on relationships.
I have a huge problem, I don't know, I'm a very strong person of character. But when it comes to relationships I become so soft to a Male figure, and I hate it bcz I always get hurt in the end.
How can I change that, I need to be still the free and strong person and not be fearful to address issues with my partner. I am really broken and really need your advice. Gail from SOUTH AFRICA
Oooh wow. Such an informative content. I like .now I know what I have been dealing with💔
Relationships are not charity,you cannot donate love!
I have learned something. Thanks
Wueh!!! Just listening to this conversation, I have a thousand reasons to thank God..... Life with a narcissist...
Where were you all my life 😭😭. I needed this in 2017. Three years later I'm only realizing what I've been going through.
Joyce you are so beautiful my sister. Great show. Primmy from Botswana 🇧🇼 watching from Namibia 🇳🇦
🙄ladies are suffering inRelationship
This is really good. Thank you sir.
I know someone who's living under threats from an ex he's trying too hard to show that they have to be together if not one has to go down or both of them .... whenever i see such a case of deaths from spouses the person clicks on my mind...the best i could help the person is to tell the person to avoid any physical appearances with the narcissist without a third party involved and keep the texts intact ....we live in era where People are being killed for all the wrong reasons in the name of forced relationships...the irony about the person giving threats is that the person is already in a relationship as we speak 🤔😣😣 yet has the audacity to give threats very selfish individual....you can't force any person to love you .
Wanjiru Karago
sure thing people should stop forcing others to love them kari kii,
"Emotional narcissists ...." I have seen it all **
Saudi madams true definition of necessist.
Almighty God you see me through this all thank you lord to bring me out of this 🙏🙏
I LOVE IT,GOOD ADVISE INDEED FROM THIS COACH
I think I'll be the easiest victim of narcissism 🙈
True talk kabisa I'm learning something thanks so much
This is so helpful.Thank you
Much love from Uganda
My lover a complete naccist🙁🙁🙁🙁 a person never calls you for 4 days he says i have alot we shall talk. Still meets you and behaves like nothing happened
Can you also talk of narcissistic girlfriend's, I've had one for five years took me the last two years to raise it. She was an overt narcissist... I know I'm an empath n that has affected me a lot cos I put her needs much before mine
Eric you need to LOVE YOURSELF.
I dated a narcissist and by week 8 I realised this man was sent by the devil to destroy me.
I dumped and he started the usual I will kill myself, I can't live without you 🙄 etc...
I told him hit the road if you have improved the next woman in your life will benefit but I am done and not interested.
I think he got the memo after a year.
These people are beyond redemption because they don't see they have a problem.
I repeat, LOVE YOURSELF ERIC...You deserve better.
Even parents!...i know one...!
@@lilianchybire9610 God bless you for that exactly even if they change it should be for the new partner we’re done for good
You should give Benjamin enough time to answer all the questions
Please please
Thank you
No.silent l start strong l get this
Program hard one
" will kill you" threat is not acceptable - no matter what the circumstance . Who ever threats to kill me does not deserve to be in my life.
I think am a mum wuth narcissistic tendancies...my 1st born is the one i have messed up more coz i have a fear she can suffer the way i have.
Never to late to change dear. Atleast you realized
Am also a firstborn to a narcissist mum I pray she heals from it because she damaged me
Benjamin Zulu has helped in counselling my son. We only spoke on phone and he did the rest. Such a professional. Thank you so much Benjamin. God bless you.
Is it appropriate to ask you for his number, I really need to talk to him (physiological issues)
Hi Rhoda...Am so sorry for what you may be going through. That was like 7yrs ago. I have since lost his nbr. Please send him an email. He has given it. Am sure he will help you. Alternatively please call Counsellor Michael Njeru on 0722779220. He works with Zulu. You will be helped. All the best and please lemme know if successful. My email eanupi@gmail.com
Thanks alot mzalendo mkenya
@@rodahmuriu782 You are welcome dear
Am dating a guy who is currently a moms boy. He's so stressing
I have learnt a lot... thanks
I love this man!
I know a guy hu was dating two girls ,and wen they find out ,now he is asking one to re-unity him with the other girl ,,,,is it possible