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What Type of Person Should You Marry? Qualities of a Godly Husband/Wife
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- Опубликовано: 17 авг 2024
- AGW University: Relationship Training for Christian Singles: agwuniversity....
What should you look for in your future Christian spouse? While we all have personal opinions on who we want to marry, the Bible gives us some nonnegotiable qualities a Christian spouse needs to have.
1. They must be a Christian if you are a Christian.
2. They should be bearing Christian fruit in their life.
3. They should be ready to fulfill their biblical role as a husband or wife.
For more on "Should a Christian Date a Non-Christian?" watch this video: • Is It OK to Date (or M...
Books and small group Bible studies by Mark Ballenger:
Intertwined: Our Happiness Is Tied to God’s Glory www.amazon.com...
Redeemed Like David: How to Overcome Sexual Temptation www.amazon.com...
The Ultimate Guide to Christian Singleness www.amazon.com...
Never Quit: A 5 Week Small Group Bible Study on the Power of Prayer www.amazon.com...
Basic Transformation: A Small Group Bible Study on the Basics of Christianity and Transformation www.amazon.com...
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1. Does s/he belong to the Lord?
2. Does s/he bear fruit for Christ?
3. Is s/he ready to reflect Christ and the church in marriage?
I need to be more wise
Going to church every Sunday, doesn't make you a Christian. Ask God for a spouse that loves God with all his/her heart, all mind, & soul, & for one that believes in Jesus Christ! Don't expect perfection even when you're a Christian. 👈
True
💯💯💯💯❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾
Aw 💖💖💖💖 that's all I ask God for. 🙏 For my future husband to love ❤️ the Lord, to adore Him, praise Him, to obey Him, and to always stay in gratitude to Lord, even when going through the storm. 🙌
I agree,some person is going to church frequent but behind it watch out what theyare doing?just to cover up their bad doing.so I won't believe to marry a person that is christian ,its about the real personality of a person.
I agree
We are not root inspectors, but fruit inspectors -classic! Thanks!
angelic sparkles my pleasure :)
Yes fruit inspectors but not of a person's "works" but their "doctrine". No one is perfect so if you are a "fruit/work" inspector then everyone is going to hell. You shall no them by their fruit was thus referring to what people believe. In Matthew, this was referring to what the Pharisees believed. It was not referring to how they lived. Remember the Pharisees kept the Law better than most back then. Hence why Jesus Himself said, Matthew 5:20
[20]For I say unto you, That EXCEPT YOUR RIGHTEOUSNESS SHALL EXCEED THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE SCRIBES AND PHARISEES, YE SHALL IN NO CASE ENTER INTO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.
So being a "fruit inspector" in the correct context is actually inspecting what a person believes and not what a person does.
chizee 3 wowwww! Thanks for the clarification and context of scripture! How do you assess someone’s “fruit” of their beliefs, if it’s separate from the actions, which is what I believe you’ve stated.
They say everything happens for a reason and I’m glad that I know this now before getting into another relationship that would’ve yield no good fruit. (I’m getting the feeling that I may meet my future spouse soon)
Ditty C Amen, God can be trusted!
Did it happen?? :)
Me too! Touching & Agreeing in Jesus’ name🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️❤️
Amen same🙌
If you gave this a thumbs down your not a believer. You're doing a great job Mark keep up the good work. Here a topic for ya. Why is America condemning masculinity?
Amen, the holy spirit would guide you through your relationship as long as you both look into him. Marriage is a ministry as well. God bless you🌷
You are so right. Yes, the holy spirit does guide us. 💖
Good fruit is the evidence of God in our lives. Exactly!!! 😊❤️
These are the three main non-negotiables but there are also other non-negotiables that should be discussed like personal values, interests and personalities. I'd like an in-depth discussion on these too. Thanks Pst. Mark.
Amen ! For me also 1- Do they have a heart after God, like David ? 2- Are they humble and teachable? 3 - Are they baptised in the Holy Spirit Who equips them for the task ? 😇
She should definitely know how to cook!!!! ……. I cook so I need someone to cook with
I'm glad you are willing to cook with your future wife... Not just throwing all the house chores on her. I'm sure you two will enjoy cooking together🤗
My dream was to cook with my future husband (if I get married) lol
NICE 👍
Hahaha This was a brand new message. Still true!!! Thank you Mark!!! 😊😊😊😊😊
I think you're just looking for talent again here. And they are just on the outside. Man looks at the countenance but God looks at the heart.
Maybe she will learn later. Maybe she doesn't enjoy cooking at all. Ask God how to go about this choice of yours.
Very good video I decided to stop drinking period even though I wouldn't drink much because it may lead others to think it's ok and if it's not done responsibly it might lead others to think I'm not a Christian. Praise God! And all these qualities are on my list.
Amen Mary :)
Thank you for this video .. I know God got plans for me and my future husband.. God bless you mark..
This is a very succinct and meaningful list. Cuts through a lot of extraneous white noise. Thanks.
So glad you found helpful!
I certainly understand why things didn’t work out very well in my past today. Thank you once again Mark, may God continue to bless you!
CHOOSING THE RIGHT SPOUSE, You can purchase a copy on Amazon using this link www.amazon.com/dp/B08CP7LMRR/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=olusegun+mokuolu&qid=1594385460&s=books&sr=1-1
Thank you for your wisdom, Mark! I am striving to have these qualities and I hope to be married to a woman who is striving to have these qualities as well.
Seriously I am not surprised....I mean how many people actually have these qualities
CHOOSING THE RIGHT SPOUSE, You can purchase a copy on Amazon using this link www.amazon.com/dp/B08CP7LMRR/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=olusegun+mokuolu&qid=1594385460&s=books&sr=1-1
Thank you, Mark. This video is useful. I look forward to reviewing the Scripture you have mentioned. You are blessed. Praise the Lord our God.
Amen, my pleasure, so glad you enjoyed this :)
This was one of the best videos yet!! Thank you!! This is motivating me to do a bible study on this very topic. Thank you! 😊
Amen! I'm so glad to hear this :)
❤
Thank you for your wisdom.
Am so blessed to see this. Wish others could key into this knowledge
CHOOSING THE RIGHT SPOUSE, You can purchase a copy on Amazon using this link www.amazon.com/dp/B08CP7LMRR/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=olusegun+mokuolu&qid=1594385460&s=books&sr=1-1
Do you have a video on the roles a man and women should fulfill in marriage? I think alot of people are not sure what striving to be the best husband or wife and what kind of qualities to look for.
Mary Swenson, not yet but I will see what I can do:)
Ephesians chapter 5 summarizes it pretty well.
I agree :)
Thanks Mark. From South Africa 🇿🇦
Totally enjoying your videos, your relationship advice, and your book The One. I''m taking more time to sit in God's word, and listen for the Holy Spirit to lead me in my decisions about relationships. I've met someone new recently (4th date last night) and your insight is helping me be more forthright in what I am looking for in a future spouse. Thank you!!
So glad to hear this Marsha, God bless!!
CHOOSING THE RIGHT SPOUSE, You can purchase a copy on Amazon using this link www.amazon.com/dp/B08CP7LMRR/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=olusegun+mokuolu&qid=1594385460&s=books&sr=1-1
Jesus Christ is Lord ♥️😍
Amen!
A great help Pastor, a lot of us are looking for the wrong things! Be blessed!
Amen ! I needed to hear this! ♥️
I'm glad it was helpful :)
Could you address the verses on divorce and remarriage? I'm divorced. My spouse didnt want to yield to God and was emotionally and financially abusing me and our kids. It's been 1 year, and I have friends keeping me accountable to wait at least one more year. As my healing continues I want to do what's right, and I would like to have a life companion again. I dont want to sin though commit adultry by remarrying if that's what those verses are saying. My ex cheated several times. I struggled and have had 0 joy in the choices I made to separate and end my 12yr marriage. I enjoy your videos and some have helped me to maintain my boundaries with my ex even! Your videos also encourage and challenge me to look more to God for my own heart changes.
I would also love to know if that scripture is meant to be taken literally. I've never heard anyone preach it before honestly. It is a harsh topic but what's the truth about it? Id love if he could answer or someone at least provide why to remarry biblically
you should just keep focusing on God because above all things the Lord wants you to love Him and glorify Him that should be your first priority and once that happens, everthing God has planned for your life will come to fruition, I can't guarantee you that God will grant you a virtuous wife, but I can't say He won't either just trust Him and you'll have no regrets
Thanks explained equally yoked well.
Anyone who’s interested in a serious relationship, I should watch this video.
GREAT work, Pastor! LOVE THIS! I am listening to your videos because God put it on my heart to write a book for women, how to be a godly woman, to eventually attract your best godly husband later. (Most importantly, we have to live to please Christ and bring others into His Kingdom) YOU ARE SO RIGHT though! You always give great advice! TY SO MUCH! I really appreciate you giving the Scriptures to back things up too! Praising God I found you! Praying for you & your wife & kids. Send me a message with thier names ok?
So glad this is helpful and thank you for your prayers. My wife's name is Bethany and my son is Logan and daughter is Noel. I pray your book benefits a lot of people! God bless :)
CHOOSING THE RIGHT SPOUSE, You can purchase a copy on Amazon using this link www.amazon.com/dp/B08CP7LMRR/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=olusegun+mokuolu&qid=1594385460&s=books&sr=1-1
Thank you for this. God bless you and your family. 😊
Great vid! Thank You, Lord! Thanks, Ptr Mark. God bless you too.🌹🤗
Awesome - very helpful. Thank you, Mark.
My pleasure!
Very powerful truth thankyou
I didn't have the knowledge that I no now, I would have make better chooses,
Some said they are Chrstian’s but not. U shall know them by their fruits.
true
Thank you! I love your videos!❤
Me too love these videos.
Outstanding ministry. Been sharing it on the streets where i live. Thank you.
Wow, Amen to that pastor, I totally agree, thank u n God bless everyone
Very much well said.
Good info, thank you!
I really like this video 👍🏻
Thanks a lot am soo inspired
👍
awersome..thanks alot for this....
Very beautiful and simple
I wish that there was utube when I was young, I never had all this good teaching, I married 2 men who said they were Christians, I divorced one after 19 years cause of abuse, and widowed with the 2 one, which I discovered a bunch of lies when he died.and they both said they were believers.
GREAT VIDEO 5 STARS MIKE
God bless!
Great info
👍
How are you supposed to get a rid of passive Aggressiveness when you’ve been hurt in relationships before?
I thought I found the one, I prayed for a widow like me, I'm a widower....we were together 9 months and she ended it out of nowhere....I'm so hurt, my prayers were answered and now this.....She is a Christian, we prayed together, I helped lead her back to God, she is a wonderful person and mother.....I'm so confused......God's will be done
🙏🏾♥️📖
Does God require my finances to completely be in order for God to place THE One in my life that He has for me to marry
What about if your divorced. First of all it was not a God ordained marriage and he committed adultery. I get conflicting answers about marrying a divorced woman.
Just Me, as far as God ordained marriage, here's a video that might help ruclips.net/video/4QJyzo3_s04/видео.html
My best answer about divorce is that if the divorce was for biblical reasons remarriage is biblical. If the divorce was not for biblical reasons then you should no remarry. Biblical reasons for divorce include adultery or if an unbelieving spouse wants a divorce.
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger ... Yes... Though my situation was complicated it worked out for his glory. I did listen to the video and you are on point. I was a mess in high school however I do recall him calling me. He allowed me to make my choices and I rebelled. I have gotten closer to him as I became an adult and as I was learning more ended up in intense spiritual warfare. This journey has helped me learn quite a lot and learn that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against spiritual wickedness. I have helped others as well as I see their struggles.
Just Me, amen, God can always turn anything for his glory
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger What about physical or emotional abuse? (In regards to your point about biblical reasons for divorce)
@@afiaadu-gyamfi2530 Abuse is abuse if hes abusing you hes deftly not following God. So you should probly Get counseling ,leave and then see if he is repentant and I don't mean a narcissist that's playing games of repentance I mean really repentants figure out what that means it's very important because a lot of people say a lot of things they really don't have any intentions on doing them longer than a moment to get you back
Excellent video. I have a question on number 3.
Along with being a reflection of Christ and the church, I also believe a primary purpose of marriage is to produce children whom we are to raise to be godly men and women in the next generation.
So, part of being ready for marriage is for her to be ready to be a wife and mother.
Yet, most women I see my age (around 24) are pursing college and careers and don't really seem interested in settling down to raise a family.
So, how do I find a woman who simply desires to have a family?
I don't want a career woman. I want to provide for a woman and for my family.
Most men change after marriage dat is why most women nowadays are after career incase d man change she will have something to fall back at is only lazy woman dat will agree to be full house wife
@@abisolaabiola5 So, that is largely incorrect. Many women are pursing more college/career ambitions due more to feminism glorifying that while demeaning women as good wives, mothers, and house wives.
if a man changes (in a negative way) significantly after being married, that tells you didn't get to know them well enough beforehand. The same goes for men seeking women.
Don't blame the opposite sex for your lack of due diligence.
As far as housewives being lazy, my own mother chose to be a housewife. And, I know several women who are housewives. They're often far more hard working because their efforts are specifically focused on the care and well-being of their family.
As a man, I far prefer a woman who puts her family first. And, increasing numbers of young men are realizing this, as well. While young women are choosing college/careers, young men are desiring more housewives or simply choosing to remain single.
I feel like if a woman wants to be a housewife, then there's nothing wrong with that. But I also don't see anything wrong with a woman wanting to be successful in life and having a career.
I do understand what you mean, you don't want a woman who's focus is solely on their career and it takes them away from their family. I feel the same way.
I don't mind her having a career, I'm just praying that it's not the kind of career that it's so time-consuming and keeps her from her family.
And you may be correct, there are women who want to get careers because they are feminists & all that. But not all women are like that, they would just like to have jobs.
@@joshuaramos6522 Well, there are different measures of success in life. I don't count a career woman as being any more or less successful than a mother or housewife. My preference is for a wife who desires to be a mother and homemaker. But, other people can prefer other things. That's fine, as far as I'm concerned.
But, I think you hit a key concern with career women. Careers are inherently time-consuming. Family is inherently time-consuming (unless you're neglecting your family).
The reason I would mind my wife having such a career is because I've seen how easily a woman can put that over her family.
That doesn't mean I'm at all against her also earning an income or pursuing some outside employment. But, her focus is on her family first.
And, if you go to the Proverbs 31 woman, she obviously works beyond the home and earns an income. But, her focus in it is always back to her family.
For instance, I know a few women who operate businesses outside their homes. They can be there for their children and simply have a side job. There's nothing wrong with that.
Amen!!! 🎯🙏✝️⚓️💖
Pay attention to actions not words. 🚫
1. Yes, they are a Christian
2. Yes, he has roots and bears fruit!
3. I don't know, he is introverted but is he passive?
(Only God can make them shortest to longest in number order!) 😜
Great video. Only thing I ever been shown in life for marriage is a whole lot of nagging and complaining. It got got me to the point I rather stay single have right hand fellowship and the paper towel then to be miserable being complained to not doing anything right always being nagged at.
What if he has ears to hear and is willing to be second to God and he respects ur decision n beliefs but he does not share those beliefs nor is he quick to anger when talking about Jesus yet he is not a Christian?
Okay so I have a question. I'm currently married to a Christian man who strangled me and molested our daughter. I have tried praying,seeking assistance from the church. For 22 years I've kept trying. My question is am I sinning if I divorce my husband and marry another?
Ummmm, he is not a Christian. Get out of there asap!!
@@oomybeauty thank you for your advice😇🤗
That is not the way of a christian man. He should love You more than he love himself!
If you find someone whose not quite equally yoked as you (yet), but is genuinely seeking the Lord, praying and attending church with you is this still acceptable? I don’t want to judge a fellow Christian who is striving to come back closer, ya know?
and other non negotiables
4 The woman knows and agrees that she is designed to help her husband fulfill his calling like Eve was supposed to help Adam Keep an eye on the garden to guard it from harm. She failed. Then he failed and killed the univese. If youre the man make sure the woman you are with has the same vision and calling to help you do yours.
5 Also make sure you both have the same values and character development
6 And make sure you have enough of the same interests in common.
7 make sure you both are emotionally satisfied with the other from your feelings for the other
8 And make sure you enjoy the other's biological chemistry sexually
9 And make sure the other person has the same top 2 love languages or will work at loving you through your main two and vice verse that you are equipped to love your mate properly through their main two love languages also
10 Make sure the other will do personal preferences you really want them to do that you don't do well or like to do and vice versa. Make sure you can do whatever personal things they want you to do also like cooking or fixing things, etc
Yes. We are supposed to know them by their fruit. But when we quote that scripture to them, because they are so comfortable in the sins they are in, they will say that we are not supposed to judge.🤨 I’m like, dude. Really?!? The Bible clear states that we are to know them by their fruit. And to judge righteously.
Where does the Bible say about us being Christian
this video needs a redo.
I like a Muslim and I haven’t liked anyone for years. Just my luck to end up liking an unbeliever. I choose Christ of course but my heart also wants to date this guy. Not sure what to do except ask God to help me get over him or have God break this off for me cuz I can’t do it. Ughhhh this sucks :(
I want a good godly future husband in my twenty one years old I'm already Baptist and repent from my sins and I want to ask god for a good godly future husband in my life I wanna pray to god for a good godly future husband I want my godly husband to committed to Jesus and following god words in the Bible and doing godly things I want to married a believer like a godly husband in my life because I'm a believer and I want my godly husband to believer too and go more in god I want a godly marriage and a godly husband in my twenty one years old I'm serious about god and a godly husband in my marriage life I need god and a godly husband
I think one of the greatest hindrances to a successful Christian marriage is a wife's unwillingness to submit to the authority of her husband (Ephesians 5). God's instructions on this issue is in stark contrast to world's view (think feminism). Based on my experience, if a woman is not willing to model the picture of a wife portrayed in Ephesians 5, it is better to let her go her own way. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run.
It's also a man's job to lead in a godly way. A husband cannot tell a women to submit but she should out of respect submit to honor her husband for the Lord and he should cherish her and be a godly leader without these things a marriage cannot last...treat each other with love because of the love and respect you share for christ.
Mary, an interesting comment. If I understand you correctly, you are saying that it is a wife's duty to submit to her husband's authority only if he fulfills certain conditions. For example, he must be a leader; he must provide; he must love; he must be a good listener, etc. etc. The problem with with thinking is that you are putting conditions on God's commandment. He says that a wife must submit to her husband as unto the Lord in all things. Jesus does not put any conditions on the commandment that a wife must submit. And it is my contention that it is this rebellion on the part of the wife that causes much of the tension in a marriage relationship.
I understand commitment to the Lord to submit to a husband but if he's not honoring God and treating his wife well then Jesus would not want a doormat for a wife it's to honor God and your husband in how you submit but if a man is not being a good husband and also leading then neither person is fully following the example Christ gave us to love each other as God loves us.
I would never say it's women not submitting to the husband that is making marriages fail it's both people not equally submitting to God's plan and being who they are both called to be as Christians that ruins a marriage both should reflect Christ and respect and love each other. Man and female both created In God's imagine a man is not more important then his wife. Is all I was saying
Who are you or I to say what Jesus would want, apart from the Word of God? We do know what he wants in Ephesians 5:22-24, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." These are his actual words, and they seem very clear to me.
What type of person should u marry? 1. Someone who loves you no matter what. 2. Someone who you want to have sex with. 3. Someone you can grow with in all areas. 4. Someone compatible with you. 5. Someone like minded, that has a mutual passion for life. Someone that wants to know God deeper. Someone unimpressed with the fluff and is completely raw, real, and full of love. Someone fit, if you’re into fitness. Someone who enjoys eating lol. Someone respectful but playful. Someone that showers every day, and someone who cares for others. Someone extremely affectionate, someone that loves the beach, camping, and doing everything or nothing at all, someone who is peaceful and kind... Those are just a few.
But mainly someone who pursues you, if your a woman, and someone who looks at you with love, respect and kindness, if you’re a man. Men take the initiative and men pursue without fear. Women follow the leader when interested and pursued correctly.
I hope two cents help lol 😂... I could be wrong, but there’s no confusion, not sure why so many Christians live wondering and scared when they should be bold and take chances
@@lindagal4595 I get your point. I think it's right that a man has to take the initiative to pursue. I thought I was pursued, but when I stepped more to respond, he stepped back. Then it's the other way around. It's like a dance. But, when the guy is not strong enough into you at first, nomatter what you will do, nomatter for how long this dance is going, it'll not work. Although both are christians. Sad but it's reality.
What you believe, not what you do, is what determines whether a person is a believer or not. A believer can remain an immature christian or babe in Christ. Your works don't save you. So your works are not signs of being a believer either. Samson was a serial fornicator. King Solomon had his heart turned to other gods by his many heathen wives. At a point he even worshipped a god that demanded human sacrifice. I guess both didn't make heaven then according to your doctrine. But nowhere in the Bible does it state that a believer is known by their fruit/works. The chapter and verse in Mathew that you quoted was a statement directed at the Pharisees. Why? Because of their UNBELIEF. Go back and read it IN CONTEXT. You shall know them by their fruit was referring to knowing false doctrines by false prophets.. The Bible says, circumcision is inward, of the heart whose praise is of God and not of men. The Bible also says, Philippians 3:3
[3]For we are the circumcision, WHICH WORSHIP GOD IN THE SPIRIT, AND REJOICE IN CHRIST JESUS, and have NO CONFIDENCE IN THE FLESH. Also in Acts 15, there was an argument between team Paul/Barnabas and some other believers of the circumcision sect. The latter came in with a false teaching that in order to be saved, people must be circumcized and also keep the Law. This caused no small argument as apostle Paul did not give ground for one second. So the church at Antioch where this argument took place, sent Paul, Barnabas and the other group down to Jerusalem to enquire from the apostles who were with Christ when He was on earth. The verdict? Apostle Peter wrote the church at Antioch a letter saying those of the circumcision were advocating a false doctrine and nowhere have they the apostles, Christ or the entire word of God stated that anyone must be circumcised or keep the demands of the Law to be saved. Read Acts 15. Salvation is purely by grace ALONE through faith ALONE in Christ Jesus ALONE. Once you have believed on Christ as your savior, you HAVE PASSED {past tense} from death to life. So to say that if a person does not have fruit/works then the person is not a believer is wrong. A believer is known by guess what...What they BELIEVE. The Pharisees kept the Law better than most. Yet Jesus called them white washed tombs. Why? Because they were relying on their works. I know I am going to heaven PURELY on the basis of Christ's shed blood and finished works. If I know that my being a child of God has absolutely nothing to do with my works, then how or why should I judge another by their works instead of by what they believe? Please take time out to seek the truth over this issue. It only takes believing a false gospel to go to hell.
Thank you for this video .. I know God got plans for me and my future husband.. God bless you mark..