Shiphrah Ayebare Amen!!!! And listen to God when he reveals these things to us. If we ask be willing to listen to whatever answer He provided whether we like it or not.
4 tips to guard your heart: 1.) Accept feelings for person w/o assuming you will get together one day 2.) Rely more on logic(mind) rather than longing(heart) early on 3.) Be interested but not infatuated 4.) Don't pray to be with the person but pray for God's will regarding the person
My problem is that my imagination runs wild. A man will innocently smile at me on the train and within seconds I've already pictured us married with kids.
This is funny but I find myself doing the same thing just over time. I’ll be talking to someone for a week or two and I start imagining things that won’t happen. When find myself doing this, I try to rebuke it and talk to myself and say to myself “girl stop it” or “girl chill out” and I bring myself back to reality. It usually works and then I realize how silly I was acting or how dramatic I may be feeling
That's very honest. And I honestly think a lot of people go through that. Jesus said something similar to that when he spoke about "cheating" on someone just by looking at another. Lust. These are the "small" things that if we bring to the Lord will help us in a greater relationship with him.
Wanted to let you know that I ACCIDENTALLY clicked onto this video. This morning I was getting ready with the intention to impress my (non-Christian) crush by dressing nicely. God is such an on-time God.
I have a non Christian crush too so I totally understand you & I feel I put more effort into my appearance to try and impress. Sometimes I wish God would just send me the right person but I heard in a great talk that in order to meet a godly man, you have to be godly yourself now & I haven't been acting godly but I feel that God is shifting things and helping me.
@@Varaidzo1 I too have a non Christian crush (a girl) .I have noticed her many times paying attention to me .I think she is interested in me . But how can i know that its.from God.I don't want any bad relationship.Because she's a non Christian girl .
I was idolizing the idea of this man being my God-sent husband, although logically it didn't make sense. He's since ghosted me. Thank you Lord for opening my eyes and protecting me 🙏🏽
Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." God wants to give us the desires of our hearts. He also wants us to seek first His kingdom and righteousness. It will all work out then.
Be content in yourself and with the life you have now...be the best person you can be while single...if marriage comes, then you will have something to offer the relationship...if marriage isn't a part of God's plan, you will still be a great person...
So much this. I've guarded my heart so well that I'm still single. I see that the girls who put themselves out there and don't do all of this guarding business are now married.
I'm not yet married and I still want to, but that doesn't make me regret letting go of the guys I met before. Some were immature (like me before), some were godly but moving in a different path or calling from me. It's more important to know God and follow Him, and then be with the person who is moving in the same direction as I am.
Re Tip 4 don't pray to be with the person but pray for God's will regarding the person. If God says yes then that is when you let your heart be open, if he says no GUARD YOUR HEART🗣🗣🗣
It's very difficult to find women for a relationship, every woman in my church and churches related to my church are either in a growing relationship or married. Every other woman/girl is too young for me, and for those only a few years younger than me (I'm 22 btw) I can see they're extremely, spiritually immature, and i could tell how paper thin the reason behind their faith is. If their faith was to even be tested in a week at a college, they'd turn their back on God. And I'm definitely not going to meet a person at work. I made it a point to never want to be in a relationship with someone who is in a university or working towards a higher education, mainly because they treat a relationship like something they can do later. They have to convince themselves that, "first I'll work on my education then get a job that matches the education, and then somehow have the time to work on a relationship and have a family." That takes the number 1 spot for delusional in the book of reality. I mean, getting to know a person's likes and dislikes, learning to love that person, spending time with them, and giving them your full attention. Isn't growing a relationship with another person more important than having the wisdom of fools? If I want to love a woman, i.e. work on a relationship with one, I will twist my work schedule like a pretzel to spend time with her and get to know all about her. Because she's precious enough.
I'm coming here with a broken heart. I recently made the mistake of assuming that we will be together. Thank you for your wisdom! I will use this as a guideline from now on. :)
Go with your gut in the beginning cuz a counterfeit is usually a wolf is sheeps clothing jezebel covert narc and they gain your trust by mirroring you so if you think they seem off in some way or immoral but then switch up and they seem good very quickly and seem to know you so well then love bombing you and then start saying that you were put together by God..they say your matched by God so you stop watching what they are doing and just commit..this was a useful lesson to me against covert narcs who pose as shy nice good Christian's but they are twisted empty soul hunters who bring diabolical pain and destruction even death.
To be honest I have been in church my whole life and have never heard any pastor speak on dating except to say don’t be unequally yoke. Thank you so much as this is extremely helpful.
Yes. The church treats iis singles like an extra appendage they don't know what to do with so they act like we don't exist. But the problem is the singles start living like the world.
I'm with you on that! My pastor talks about finding a companion when it comes to the single youth and giving guidance and advice on how to go about dating and what to look for but they don't give us advice as what is being given in this video.
I think as I prepare for the relationship season of my life God is telling me to be patient. Enjoy life and steward my singleness well but be patient and trust His timing. He’s not a microwave God, He’s a crock pot God.
Never had a crush in my whole life. Well... Got one about two weeks ago. Ran to Jesus as if I was being attacked by the devil. I think I'm okay but it was scarry!
I have a crush and I feel like I am attacked too by the devil to destroy me since I have not dated after a divorce in 2013. So I understand. I just dont understand why I am attracted to this man when he is really not my usual type. Keep me in your prayers. God bless
I have heard multiple people say crushes are fun but they aren’t... at all. I rather be single than be single with a crush. At least with just being single no hope is lost.
This is one of the best videos I've seen on when you have a crush! it makes totally sense. Don't have too high expectations but be open. I think the problem often is people beating them selves up for their feelings and them drawing back completely, that way you will never learn get to know somebody. We can't find somebody unless we learn get to know them on a friendly level. It's a different thing if God has told you not to date or that you're not ready yet, but if you have peace about finding somebody and if God has put that peace inside your heart and spirit you should be able to learn get to know someone that you're interested in, and if that person doesn't seem to be a good match for you anyways you don't have to settle for that relationship, instead have hope that there's someone better for you, but don't be afraid of learning get to know people. I often find out that the less I know a person the easier it is to get stuck in all kinds of expectations and fantasies, and that's what will leave us heartbroken when it doesn't end the way we planned .
This is crazy! I just listened to this then opened my email and there was an email from Bible Study Tools about guarding your heart 😯🤔😍🙏🙌 God is so wildly in love with His people that His presence is in every moment! When we pray He answers; when we seek, He leads us to find Him; when we are weary He is our strength. He delights in us always!
Im glad that the discussion of Christian dating and courtship has come up in the culture of 'hooking up'. Developing a relationship based on mutual respect, care, admiration, interests, goals, pursuits, purpose, career aspirations, shared experiences etc is very different than having an idealized view of what a relationship will be based on a perception. Who wants to be in a relationship based on an obsession only to have the reality deflate that idealized view of someone? Idolizing a person is in no way shape or form the reality of what it would be
I think if you are a Christian, you should be looking for another Christian if you are in the dating world.The bible says you will know the tree by by the fruit it bares.
Robert Olsen true but dont ask god to give u a girlfriend u cant always ask god u have to find the right person that fits u best in your opinion not always asking god to give the right person
right person cause sometimes the relationship wont work out see im different from other christians i have different opinions on the world andfollow what my heart say and sometimes what god says
ive developed this feeling to a co-worker coz they teased us, i expected that he's also into me but he's not, i felt devastated and cried many times. everytime i see him my heart aches so much (feels different when u saw ur crush u felt excited and motivated). now were not in the same work shift anymore (for 2 months already), maybe this is Gods answer (that he's not really the one for me). thanks for this wonderful video.
Thanks so much for this! I put way too many expectations on a new relationship instead of just becoming friends first and seeing if I like them as a person. I'm asking God for patience so I stop rushing into things and keep my heart guarded.
I don't really look for answers to this question at this moment but I just wanna take the time to tell how much I appreciate God for using you, your family, and your youtube channel and blogs for edifying and teaching many souls. May God honor and bless you and your family more as you continue the good work. Praise God for you and other preachers of His Word that I subscribe to. :) I'm so blessed.
@@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger Me too man, this could have been helpful nearly 5 years ago. I learned from the experiences but wisdom is what I need in the future. You are reaching out to people like myself.
I’m just sick of this relationship/crush shit all together so I prayed and asked God to take my feelings away period. If you gotta go through pain and disappointments in the process of finding someone, I just want to stay single for the rest of my life because I don’t wanna worry about anybody else but myself.
Great message! I totally agree.. NEVER ASSUME someone will feel or want the same. I wish more people would have that kind of mindset. Remember no one wants FAKE LOVE
I'm glad I saw this video, I started having a crush on a non-christian and became obsessed with him, I decided I'm going to stop since it's not God's will anyway ...thank you for opening my mind Mark😊
Wow Where was this video like 7 months ago?!! I did exactly everything you said not to do and ended up so hurt 😭 but I’m so glad I found these tips so that I can now start implementing them into my life and guard my heart better!
Mark I am always blessed by your channel. I want to meet a godly and wise man like you. This gives me hope. I feel like the Christian men just aren't out there. May God bless your family.
trust me they are still out there its very hard to be Godly in a world that pushes agendas that don't line up with God's Word I'll be praying for your relationship situation, and for God's will regarding a Godly man for your life
cherishdeb Oh we’re out here. I thought the same about christian women but I plugged into a church that focuses on young people. I’m still single but I’ve completely understood how important it is to wait and to pursue God relentlessly first rather than being on the search of a wife. I know God is faithful and know that everything will work out in the end.
Trust me, there are. My dream is going to North Korea someday for missions (South Korean - American, born in USA). I wait (currently 24) to seek a godly woman who has the same fire and passion for God, willing to put it all on the line. When I find someone like that, that is the type of woman I'd like to pursue someday, of course, Lord willing.
I soooo agree with this....I clicked on this topic because I'm going through this right now.....I told myself as a child of God I should just guard my heart....and if the person is for me.....then it will happen...if not..I gained a beautiful friendship....I dont want to set myself up for failure....or hurt .....we do get hurt when we expect to be with someone when we really like someone....and I've been through enough to know that is not a safe thing to do when dealing with matters of the heart.
This video was fantastic and I really felt like God knew it was what I needed to hear right now. I have currently developed a bit of a crush on someone but have previously dealt with crushes poorly in the past by getting too emotionally attached and wanted this one to be different. This video gave wonderful advice on how to guard my heart and ask God for clarity in this season. Thank you!
Thank you so much for this Pastor Mark. I really needed this. I started having feelings for this guy and now it completely turned into obsession. I never acted on it, but I did give a lot to him. It was my biggest mistake. Even so during that time, I have already accepted the fact that he and I will not be together. But it hurts me so much and I become an emotional mess whenever he does something to me. But thanks be to God that He opened my eyes and gave me strength to start resisting myself from him. I am still hurting and sad, but I know this is for the best.
I was just here. It took me so much not to reach out to him and ask him. The Lord had to give me a whole dream to let me know this guy wasn't interested. Lol now I have peace. That's how you know I was super obsessed. I was like what will we name our kids and our wedding date could be this. He hasn't said 2 words to me. Lol
Thank you!! I've been struggling with this!! Mark God is talking through you to me. I've been thinking I was sinning. . Cuz I had a crush & that I was rushing into liking someone but I wasn't. I was actually rebuking it but it's still their... Ahh.. I can't stop thinking bout him
I know. Girl the struggle is real. There is a guy at church who loves the Lord and he has since stop talking to me all the sudden like do you know I am here. Lol
Great advice on how to guard your heart when you have feelings. I got over the guy that I had feelings for. You are right about going to logic first then only feelings.
Wow so well said pastor Mark, and very true there's a big difference between liking somebody and being infatuated with them, very often people's obsession and infatuation can make them believe it's love when it's not don't be blinded or deceived by infatuation allow God to lead you into true love and you will see the difference in Jesus name amen 🙏
Thank you so much for this advice. When I'm really into someone, it's easy to take everything personally and every little thing as a sign, so I really appreciate this video. It's helped me see things more objectively. Thank you! 😊
Yes Jennifer! You took the words right from my mouth. In my previous situationship, I was seeing EVERYTHING as a sign. I'm so thankful for videos like this.
Just when i felt so down and cried over all the conflicting feelings, your shorts appeared on RUclips right when i opened the app. When i stayed watching them one after another I just kept crying. I knew God was speaking to me through you. God was giving me advice and guidance because I felt so lost and scared. God knows what we need and sends help and deliverance at the right time. Praise the Lord. Thank God for you too :')
Thank you, Mark! I needed this today. I went from interest to obsession and I haven't even met this person yet. I am not obsessed anymore, but I figured out I have to work on myself before God will show me if this person is for me.
weenieboys 2 oh yes. I went out with him and then had feelings that went to obsession eventually but I have gotten over it somehow on corpus Christi Sunday.Praise god.
Thank you for this teaching! Those of us who come from broken homes may have not have been taught these very simple principles. I could have avoided a lot of heartache in the past, had someone explained this to me, instead of just telling me to “wait on the Lord.” God bless you my brother!
See now this is why I love the book of Proverbs, "hope deferred makes the heart sick." Very very powerful and speaks to me. Thank you God for this message
I really needed this video! God knows I struggle with crushes, especially infatuation. I don’t know much about my current crush except that I want to get to know him.
The fact that I had multiple crushes on many and I have learned from them none where successful. That this go round I have truly learned how to guard my heart. This video served as confirmation that this time I am finally doing this right. I have the crush on the guy in my church I barely know. 1. I accepted my feelings. 2. Logically I’m not sure what the turn out will be, but I will not allow false hope to enter 3. I try not to dwell on him. 4. I pray for his salvation and not for us to be together. I pray to witness his his heart towards God, despite of his feelings towards me. So whether he is interested in me or not my prayers are generic.
I made both those mistakes, I expected a relationship to happen and denied I liked them. From experience both are bad and really hurts. These 4 ideas are spot on.
Wow I really needed to hear this today! Thank you so much for this. I started to develop feelings for a guy but I hardly really know him I have heard so many great things about him, though I really want to get to know I just don’t know how and hearing this opened my eyes.
Wow, Icela! I am going through almost the same situation your in but its a woman. I have heard so many great things about her too, but more importantly, I found out that we have so much in common from reading up about her and hearing her talk and engage others. I would love to know more about your situation. What exactly has enlightened you about this video or opened your eyes? Were you suggesting that this video showed you how you can get to know this person of interests?
Meerkat SK5 hey Meetkat, Yes I can relate on that aspect I have seen this guy engage with other people and how he treats other people with respect,we also have some common interest. How this video has opened my eyes like for example he said that I should except my feeling towards him but not expect anything to happen when at the end of the day nothing happens between us! I hope this helps!
I'm going through the same thing. And I'm totally guilty with what Mark said about being infatuated. I just basically stalked this person and learned how incredible he is! I don't want to say that I am infatuated. I want to think of it as a harmless admiration after I telling myself I will not go any deeper than all the stalking that I did.
I so greatly needed this as I am JUST after almost 4 years getting back into trying to date, and trying to do it God’s way. Feeling clueless as to where to start or even how to. Thank you! God bless!
I liked a boy who's my best friend and I fell in love with him over time. With his personality and his character and his voice. We talked about a possible future together. But he's an atheist... My family and friends tell me to pray and they pray for us too. Pray for God to talk to him and pray for him to let Him into his heart. Yes, I want him to be a Christian so I can date him. That used to be my main reason. But God spoke to me. I want him to have a relationship with God. To know he's not alone and that God is with him. To feel the Holy Spirit and feel free from his shame and regret. I love him so very much and I dont want him in pain...
Your new book sounds good. However, I do not think it is in God's will for everyone to be married. Some are called to singleness. So I think it is important as singles, not to get too caught up in assuming that we are all meant to be married and that our spouse just hasn't shown up yet. I think that instead of praying "God show me who my spouse is, send them my way" I think we should pray "God reveal your will for my life, singleness or marriage, and help my heart to align with what you want"
renaissancegirl87 the scriptures says...none shall lack her mate....none! Search the book of the Lord , and see what he will do. Not one of these birds and animals will be missing, and none will lack a mate, for the Lord has promised this. His Spirit will make it all come true. Isaiah 34:16 NLT
Jakki Chege however Apostle Paul was single and without a mate. “So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows-it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.” 1 Corinthians 7:8 NLT it’s very possible that some will not be married.
Wise advice. I made the mistake last year when I met someone and became totally infatuated with her. We were good friends until I accidentally said something and she blocked me on what's app and refused to talk to me. I was heartbroken for a long time. I have become very good friends with someone I have known for about 15 years and will be taking the advice from this video.
This is great advice, as I get waaaay to carryied away but the idea of a relationship with someone I forget to actually focus on who they are and whether we actually work together well!
Omg I was just scrolling down on RUclips videos. I wasn’t even looking for a specific video but this popped up. It came at a perfect timing! I have been praying for someone I am possibly interested in and been praying for it! This was an eye opening for me. 1. J have to accept my feelings for this person possibly 2. I need to go with logic 3. I need to be interested not infatuated that can block me from seeing things early 4. Pray that God will show me if he’s the one! Thank you so helpful!
I’m so glad I ran into this video For the longest time I felt that this one person was gonna be my husband literally from God. And that’s when I realize you should always doubt your doubts because after literally almost 2 years he never pursued me and he got a girlfriend 💔. It was heartbreaking but I’m healed now thank you Jesus for breaking the spirit of deception and I know God has my husband out there somewhere 😌.
1. Accept your feelings for this person, assuming that you will get together one day. You are not discontent with God when liking somebody. You can be disappointed but avoid emotional devastation. Don't get too far to head of yourself. 2. Relay more on logic rather than your longing, heart, and soul. 3. Be interested and not infatuated. Yup. Be open to possibilities, opportunities. 4. Don't pray to be with this person, but pray that God reveals if He wants you to be with this specific person.
Hi Pastor Mark, I just want to thank you for all the Godly wisdom I've received from your vids the last 3 yrs. I have learned tons, mostly that I've used dating as an idol and God has completely shut the door for me so my relationship with Christ can grow. I'd like to make a financial donation in compensation if that's possible. God bless. P.S. give the kids good quality fish oil to help them focus better.
This is the best explanation and advice on how to wait on the Lord. Most people tell you to do nothing. That’s not how we handle anything else in our lives and like you explained it’s not even biblical. Thank you so much!
I was with my ex girlfriend for almost 7 months recently. At the beginning of our relationship, I was trying not to get attached to her and was trying to keep my independence. Later, I started getting really comfortable with her and loved her a lot. We had hopes of getting married and starting a family one day. She was the best friend I ever had and now she’s gone. Everything felt so right with her. Now everything feels so pointless and hopeless.
I really like how you added the being Friends first (thats what i want to do) but it seems like, where im at, alot of guys dont wanna do that. Thanks for the advice!
Thank you so much for this wisdom. Being a college student in her early twenties, I never really knew how to date, I thought just going off of how I feel was enough. But the more I mature in God, the more he reveals to me the work that is needed to go into my approach to healthy dating. Instead of constantly putting myself in a fantasy of a relationship, overextending, not creating healthy boundaries - then getting my entire world shattered once I realize that that approach was not the one God intended me to follow, I am going to first pray to the Lord for forgiveness then forgive myself for what I didnt know then apply these helpful and logical tips into my dating life so that I can protect myself and honor God at the same time.
I needed this. Honestly. I'm guarding my heart because there's this guy that I partially have feelings for him, but I'm being careful because he's not ready for a relationship.
I just want to logically figure out if any guy I find attractive is worth a crap or relationship minded before that happens I feel like any guy thinks I'm pursuing them when I say hi and I am just trying to be friendly. Relationship stuf is so hard
I have spent months investigating ways to improve relationships and discovered an awesome website at adult magic tactic (google it if you are interested)
I love Jesus more than I love any guy!!!! Like it's jacked up to assume from the little things. We're supposed to love each other and put life into each other. Encourage each other. Like my gosh this RUclips channel annoys me a bit. Like if I like you, I will say I like you. Because when I like someone I'm not afraid at ALL to tell him. That or I'd play house with him. Only him. Like bringing him a cookie. Giving him a cute little note. Something extremely OBVIOUS. My gosh. It's ridiculous.
People at my church are soooo focused on dating that they don't even encourage each other. Especially the opposite sex. Like how the heck are you going to marry a person you don't even really know. It annoys the heck outta me.
Don't pray to be with the person that you like, rather pray to God to reveal to you if that is the person he wants you to be with. Thank you.
Amen Shiphrah Ayebare!
Shiphrah Ayebare Amen!!!! And listen to God when he reveals these things to us. If we ask be willing to listen to whatever answer He provided whether we like it or not.
Tinika C. ...the hardest part..
Amen Shiphrah!
Amen 🙏🏽 I’ve been doing that
4 tips to guard your heart:
1.) Accept feelings for person w/o assuming you will get together one day
2.) Rely more on logic(mind) rather than longing(heart) early on
3.) Be interested but not infatuated
4.) Don't pray to be with the person but pray for God's will regarding the person
skyline thank you
Haha tq for briefing
Where was this video last year?
Especially #4!!
God*s told me the person i'm going to be with one day and he keeps confirming it :O
My problem is that my imagination runs wild. A man will innocently smile at me on the train and within seconds I've already pictured us married with kids.
That's something to work on, with prayer and effort you won't be perfect but you can get better at it
This is funny but I find myself doing the same thing just over time. I’ll be talking to someone for a week or two and I start imagining things that won’t happen. When find myself doing this, I try to rebuke it and talk to myself and say to myself “girl stop it” or “girl chill out” and I bring myself back to reality. It usually works and then I realize how silly I was acting or how dramatic I may be feeling
Thanks for your honesty most wouldn't admit that.
same! i'm in the same boat as you!
That's very honest. And I honestly think a lot of people go through that. Jesus said something similar to that when he spoke about "cheating" on someone just by looking at another. Lust. These are the "small" things that if we bring to the Lord will help us in a greater relationship with him.
Wanted to let you know that I ACCIDENTALLY clicked onto this video. This morning I was getting ready with the intention to impress my (non-Christian) crush by dressing nicely. God is such an on-time God.
Amen, God is good!!
I have a non Christian crush too so I totally understand you & I feel I put more effort into my appearance to try and impress. Sometimes I wish God would just send me the right person but I heard in a great talk that in order to meet a godly man, you have to be godly yourself now & I haven't been acting godly but I feel that God is shifting things and helping me.
@@Varaidzo1 There is nothing wrong with putting in effort, that is required.
@@Varaidzo1 I too have a non Christian crush (a girl) .I have noticed her many times paying attention to me .I think she is interested in me .
But how can i know that its.from God.I don't want any bad relationship.Because she's a non Christian girl .
@@shishirmundu4662 be careful not to allow that to take you away from God may the Lord God be with you in Jesus' mighty name of Jesus Amen!
I was idolizing the idea of this man being my God-sent husband, although logically it didn't make sense. He's since ghosted me. Thank you Lord for opening my eyes and protecting me 🙏🏽
Amen
vivi Did go show your he was your husband?
What didn’t make sense? Please share? Also have you been revealed your husband yet?
🤔🤔That is true!
You're expecting perfection,I doubt it⚡
Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." God wants to give us the desires of our hearts. He also wants us to seek first His kingdom and righteousness. It will all work out then.
Amen!
The Lord just put this scripture on my heart today. Thank you for this
I doubt it💲
Ooohhh thank you !!
Amen n Amen!
Be content in yourself and with the life you have now...be the best person you can be while single...if marriage comes, then you will have something to offer the relationship...if marriage isn't a part of God's plan, you will still be a great person...
Great advice thanks
♥️
Amen....
This might probably be the best advice I've ever heard
I agree Sherri
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21
Pay attention to:
1. Expectations
2. Logic
3. Idealisation
God is training me to be ABLE to depend on Him alone, to be single, free and happy... it’s so liberating 🦋🙌🤗
We always talk about guarding our hearts. How about; how to know when to let your guard down?
So much this. I've guarded my heart so well that I'm still single. I see that the girls who put themselves out there and don't do all of this guarding business are now married.
I'm not yet married and I still want to, but that doesn't make me regret letting go of the guys I met before. Some were immature (like me before), some were godly but moving in a different path or calling from me.
It's more important to know God and follow Him, and then be with the person who is moving in the same direction as I am.
♥️
Re Tip 4 don't pray to be with the person but pray for God's will regarding the person. If God says yes then that is when you let your heart be open, if he says no GUARD YOUR HEART🗣🗣🗣
It's very difficult to find women for a relationship, every woman in my church and churches related to my church are either in a growing relationship or married.
Every other woman/girl is too young for me, and for those only a few years younger than me (I'm 22 btw) I can see they're extremely, spiritually immature, and i could tell how paper thin the reason behind their faith is.
If their faith was to even be tested in a week at a college, they'd turn their back on God.
And I'm definitely not going to meet a person at work.
I made it a point to never want to be in a relationship with someone who is in a university or working towards a higher education, mainly because they treat a relationship like something they can do later.
They have to convince themselves that, "first I'll work on my education then get a job that matches the education, and then somehow have the time to work on a relationship and have a family." That takes the number 1 spot for delusional in the book of reality.
I mean, getting to know a person's likes and dislikes, learning to love that person, spending time with them, and giving them your full attention. Isn't growing a relationship with another person more important than having the wisdom of fools?
If I want to love a woman, i.e. work on a relationship with one, I will twist my work schedule like a pretzel to spend time with her and get to know all about her.
Because she's precious enough.
Look for deal breakers early on. Like, for one, if they don't like you back. LOL
😂😂
LOL that’s really funny 😂😂💀
Prayers
brooo😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💯
LOL hello 😂😂
I'm coming here with a broken heart. I recently made the mistake of assuming that we will be together. Thank you for your wisdom! I will use this as a guideline from now on. :)
So sorry to hear you are broken. The Lord will heal you if you seek him. It will take time but he can do it. God bless!
Go with your gut in the beginning cuz a counterfeit is usually a wolf is sheeps clothing jezebel covert narc and they gain your trust by mirroring you so if you think they seem off in some way or immoral but then switch up and they seem good very quickly and seem to know you so well then love bombing you and then start saying that you were put together by God..they say your matched by God so you stop watching what they are doing and just commit..this was a useful lesson to me against covert narcs who pose as shy nice good Christian's but they are twisted empty soul hunters who bring diabolical pain and destruction even death.
To be honest I have been in church my whole life and have never heard any pastor speak on dating except to say don’t be unequally yoke. Thank you so much as this is extremely helpful.
Monica Bears sane here, that’s all they say
Yes. The church treats iis singles like an extra appendage they don't know what to do with so they act like we don't exist. But the problem is the singles start living like the world.
I'm with you on that! My pastor talks about finding a companion when it comes to the single youth and giving guidance and advice on how to go about dating and what to look for but they don't give us advice as what is being given in this video.
I think as I prepare for the relationship season of my life God is telling me to be patient. Enjoy life and steward my singleness well but be patient and trust His timing. He’s not a microwave God, He’s a crock pot God.
How are things goin?
Hahaha that made me laugh...crock pot God. Lol So true though.
Never had a crush in my whole life. Well... Got one about two weeks ago. Ran to Jesus as if I was being attacked by the devil. I think I'm okay but it was scarry!
😂😂😂😂😂 this is the funniest thing I've ever read in terms of relationships, better than any stand up comedian hahahahahahaha dope bro
Powerful stuff
This is so funny 😂 😂😂😂😂
You know I think I am going to Jesus
I have a crush and I feel like I am attacked too by the devil to destroy me since I have not dated after a divorce in 2013. So I understand. I just dont understand why I am attracted to this man when he is really not my usual type. Keep me in your prayers. God bless
My life verse: Above all else , guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23
I don't like having crushes. This video is awesome though.
Crushes suck
I have heard multiple people say crushes are fun but they aren’t... at all. I rather be single than be single with a crush. At least with just being single no hope is lost.
No. It's actually a joy.
@@amaryllisbrooke8098 Can you please explain how a crush can be a joy?
Ruby Marabu Tell me about it 😂
This is one of the best videos I've seen on when you have a crush! it makes totally sense. Don't have too high expectations but be open. I think the problem often is people beating them selves up for their feelings and them drawing back completely, that way you will never learn get to know somebody. We can't find somebody unless we learn get to know them on a friendly level. It's a different thing if God has told you not to date or that you're not ready yet, but if you have peace about finding somebody and if God has put that peace inside your heart and spirit you should be able to learn get to know someone that you're interested in, and if that person doesn't seem to be a good match for you anyways you don't have to settle for that relationship, instead have hope that there's someone better for you, but don't be afraid of learning get to know people. I often find out that the less I know a person the easier it is to get stuck in all kinds of expectations and fantasies, and that's what will leave us heartbroken when it doesn't end the way we planned
.
Liene Thanks great advice.
Liene svärd amen
Definitely true.
Nice! Thank you!
So wise!! :)
This guy is GOLD
“There is a time for the head and a time for the heart. True wisdom comes when you know when to use what.”
This is crazy! I just listened to this then opened my email and there was an email from Bible Study Tools about guarding your heart 😯🤔😍🙏🙌 God is so wildly in love with His people that His presence is in every moment! When we pray He answers; when we seek, He leads us to find Him; when we are weary He is our strength. He delights in us always!
Im glad that the discussion of Christian dating and courtship has come up in the culture of 'hooking up'. Developing a relationship based on mutual respect, care, admiration, interests, goals, pursuits, purpose, career aspirations, shared experiences etc is very different than having an idealized view of what a relationship will be based on a perception. Who wants to be in a relationship based on an obsession only to have the reality deflate that idealized view of someone? Idolizing a person is in no way shape or form the reality of what it would be
I think if you are a Christian, you should be looking for another Christian if you are in the dating world.The bible says you will know the tree by by the fruit it bares.
Robert Olsen you mean bears
I agree!
Robert Olsen true but dont ask god to give u a girlfriend u cant always ask god u have to find the right person that fits u best in your opinion not always asking god to give the right person
right person cause sometimes the relationship wont work out see im different from other christians i have different opinions on the world andfollow what my heart say and sometimes what god says
and sometimes e
what god says
ive developed this feeling to a co-worker coz they teased us, i expected that he's also into me but he's not, i felt devastated and cried many times. everytime i see him my heart aches so much (feels different when u saw ur crush u felt excited and motivated). now were not in the same work shift anymore (for 2 months already), maybe this is Gods answer (that he's not really the one for me). thanks for this wonderful video.
When you realize you everyone else is going through the same thing😳😏🙊
Gwendolyn O. Lol right
Thanks so much for this! I put way too many expectations on a new relationship instead of just becoming friends first and seeing if I like them as a person. I'm asking God for patience so I stop rushing into things and keep my heart guarded.
I don't really look for answers to this question at this moment but I just wanna take the time to tell how much I appreciate God for using you, your family, and your youtube channel and blogs for edifying and teaching many souls. May God honor and bless you and your family more as you continue the good work. Praise God for you and other preachers of His Word that I subscribe to. :) I'm so blessed.
may the Lord God be with us all in the mighty name of Jesus Amen!!! And may God bless you in Jesus' mighty name Amen
Thanks brother. God is using you to help millions who are in need of relationship advice.
All glory to him :)
@@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger Me too man, this could have been helpful nearly 5 years ago. I learned from the experiences but wisdom is what I need in the future. You are reaching out to people like myself.
I’m just sick of this relationship/crush shit all together so I prayed and asked God to take my feelings away period. If you gotta go through pain and disappointments in the process of finding someone, I just want to stay single for the rest of my life because I don’t wanna worry about anybody else but myself.
Wow... This is for ME! I've been trippin smh. God is sooooooo good. I needed this tbh
Great message! I totally agree.. NEVER ASSUME someone will feel or want the same. I wish more people would have that kind of mindset. Remember no one wants FAKE LOVE
Yes yes. Exactly. Never assume, never presume.
I'm glad I saw this video, I started having a crush on a non-christian and became obsessed with him, I decided I'm going to stop since it's not God's will anyway ...thank you for opening my mind Mark😊
All glory to God! I'm so glad this was helpful to you!
Wow Where was this video like 7 months ago?!! I did exactly everything you said not to do and ended up so hurt 😭 but I’m so glad I found these tips so that I can now start implementing them into my life and guard my heart better!
Amen! I'm so glad this was helpful now for you too :)
I lean agnostic atheist, but this is such good advise. This advice from the bible is amazing.
You made this comment 4 years ago. Just curious, Are you still an atheist?
Mark I am always blessed by your channel. I want to meet a godly and wise man like you. This gives me hope. I feel like the Christian men just aren't out there. May God bless your family.
cherishdeb that is good. Hopefully you find him. That dude in the video is taken already. Haha
trust me they are still out there
its very hard to be Godly in a world that pushes agendas that don't line up with God's Word
I'll be praying for your relationship situation, and for God's will regarding a Godly man for your life
cherishdeb Oh we’re out here. I thought the same about christian women but I plugged into a church that focuses on young people. I’m still single but I’ve completely understood how important it is to wait and to pursue God relentlessly first rather than being on the search of a wife. I know God is faithful and know that everything will work out in the end.
Trust me, there are. My dream is going to North Korea someday for missions (South Korean - American, born in USA). I wait (currently 24) to seek a godly woman who has the same fire and passion for God, willing to put it all on the line. When I find someone like that, that is the type of woman I'd like to pursue someday, of course, Lord willing.
I soooo agree with this....I clicked on this topic because I'm going through this right now.....I told myself as a child of God I should just guard my heart....and if the person is for me.....then it will happen...if not..I gained a beautiful friendship....I dont want to set myself up for failure....or hurt .....we do get hurt when we expect to be with someone when we really like someone....and I've been through enough to know that is not a safe thing to do when dealing with matters of the heart.
This video was fantastic and I really felt like God knew it was what I needed to hear right now. I have currently developed a bit of a crush on someone but have previously dealt with crushes poorly in the past by getting too emotionally attached and wanted this one to be different. This video gave wonderful advice on how to guard my heart and ask God for clarity in this season. Thank you!
Thank you so much for this Pastor Mark. I really needed this.
I started having feelings for this guy and now it completely turned into obsession. I never acted on it, but I did give a lot to him. It was my biggest mistake. Even so during that time, I have already accepted the fact that he and I will not be together. But it hurts me so much and I become an emotional mess whenever he does something to me.
But thanks be to God that He opened my eyes and gave me strength to start resisting myself from him. I am still hurting and sad, but I know this is for the best.
I was just here. It took me so much not to reach out to him and ask him. The Lord had to give me a whole dream to let me know this guy wasn't interested. Lol now I have peace. That's how you know I was super obsessed. I was like what will we name our kids and our wedding date could be this. He hasn't said 2 words to me. Lol
Thank you!! I've been struggling with this!! Mark God is talking through you to me. I've been thinking I was sinning. . Cuz I had a crush & that I was rushing into liking someone but I wasn't. I was actually rebuking it but it's still their... Ahh.. I can't stop thinking bout him
I know. Girl the struggle is real. There is a guy at church who loves the Lord and he has since stop talking to me all the sudden like do you know I am here. Lol
Great advice on how to guard your heart when you have feelings. I got over the guy that I had feelings for. You are right about going to logic first then only feelings.
I have crush when this come up in my youtube recommendation. Man
..God is speaking to me😊
Video came twice in my recommended 😂😂 wondering what my sweet Lord is revealing to me...
Wow so well said pastor Mark, and very true there's a big difference between liking somebody and being infatuated with them, very often people's obsession and infatuation can make them believe it's love when it's not don't be blinded or deceived by infatuation allow God to lead you into true love and you will see the difference in Jesus name amen 🙏
Thank you so much for this advice. When I'm really into someone, it's easy to take everything personally and every little thing as a sign, so I really appreciate this video. It's helped me see things more objectively. Thank you! 😊
Yes Jennifer! You took the words right from my mouth. In my previous situationship, I was seeing EVERYTHING as a sign. I'm so thankful for videos like this.
Thank you for clearing the difference between 'Being interested' Vs 'Being infatuated'. May God bless your ministry, Mark
Just when i felt so down and cried over all the conflicting feelings, your shorts appeared on RUclips right when i opened the app. When i stayed watching them one after another I just kept crying. I knew God was speaking to me through you. God was giving me advice and guidance because I felt so lost and scared. God knows what we need and sends help and deliverance at the right time. Praise the Lord. Thank God for you too :')
Thank you, Mark! I needed this today. I went from interest to obsession and I haven't even met this person yet. I am not obsessed anymore, but I figured out I have to work on myself before God will show me if this person is for me.
weenieboys 2 oh yes. I went out with him and then had feelings that went to obsession eventually but I have gotten over it somehow on corpus Christi Sunday.Praise god.
Thank you for this teaching! Those of us who come from broken homes may have not have been taught these very simple principles. I could have avoided a lot of heartache in the past, had someone explained this to me, instead of just telling me to “wait on the Lord.” God bless you my brother!
See now this is why I love the book of Proverbs, "hope deferred makes the heart sick." Very very powerful and speaks to me. Thank you God for this message
I really needed this video! God knows I struggle with crushes, especially infatuation.
I don’t know much about my current crush except that I want to get to know him.
Same
The fact that I had multiple crushes on many and I have learned from them none where successful. That this go round I have truly learned how to guard my heart.
This video served as confirmation that this time I am finally doing this right. I have the crush on the guy in my church I barely know.
1. I accepted my feelings.
2. Logically I’m not sure what the turn out will be, but I will not allow false hope to enter
3. I try not to dwell on him.
4. I pray for his salvation and not for us to be together. I pray to witness his his heart towards God, despite of his feelings towards me. So whether he is interested in me or not my prayers are generic.
Going through this at the moment so your advice is greatly appreciated.
So glad this vid was helpful swnaa999
For a young person you exhibit extraordinary wisdom.
Thank you, all glory to God!
I made both those mistakes, I expected a relationship to happen and denied I liked them. From experience both are bad and really hurts. These 4 ideas are spot on.
Thank you so much, Mark.
This just popped out from my feed. Exactly what I needed. Thank you Lord
Amen!
You are a very wise young man. This is good advise for christians and non christians alike. Well done
Wow I really needed to hear this today! Thank you so much for this. I started to develop feelings for a guy but I hardly really know him I have heard so many great things about him, though I really want to get to know I just don’t know how and hearing this opened my eyes.
Wow, Icela! I am going through almost the same situation your in but its a woman. I have heard so many great things about her too, but more importantly, I found out that we have so much in common from reading up about her and hearing her talk and engage others. I would love to know more about your situation. What exactly has enlightened you about this video or opened your eyes? Were you suggesting that this video showed you how you can get to know this person of interests?
Meerkat SK5 hey Meetkat,
Yes I can relate on that aspect I have seen this guy engage with other people and how he treats other people with respect,we also have some common interest. How this video has opened my eyes like for example he said that I should except my feeling towards him but not expect
anything to happen when at the end of the day nothing happens between us! I hope this helps!
Icela Mendoza same!
I'm going through the same thing. And I'm totally guilty with what Mark said about being infatuated. I just basically stalked this person and learned how incredible he is! I don't want to say that I am infatuated. I want to think of it as a harmless admiration after I telling myself I will not go any deeper than all the stalking that I did.
Icela Mendoza sounds like something my friend told me as well this is absolutely bizarre
I so greatly needed this as I am JUST after almost 4 years getting back into trying to date, and trying to do it God’s way. Feeling clueless as to where to start or even how to. Thank you! God bless!
I liked a boy who's my best friend and I fell in love with him over time. With his personality and his character and his voice. We talked about a possible future together.
But he's an atheist...
My family and friends tell me to pray and they pray for us too. Pray for God to talk to him and pray for him to let Him into his heart. Yes, I want him to be a Christian so I can date him. That used to be my main reason. But God spoke to me.
I want him to have a relationship with God. To know he's not alone and that God is with him. To feel the Holy Spirit and feel free from his shame and regret.
I love him so very much and I dont want him in pain...
Pray that The Most High delivers him away from wickedness and towards him so that he can do Gods will
Your new book sounds good. However, I do not think it is in God's will for everyone to be married. Some are called to singleness. So I think it is important as singles, not to get too caught up in assuming that we are all meant to be married and that our spouse just hasn't shown up yet. I think that instead of praying "God show me who my spouse is, send them my way" I think we should pray "God reveal your will for my life, singleness or marriage, and help my heart to align with what you want"
renaissancegirl87 true.
He mentioned that at time 13:53-55.
renaissancegirl87 Amen! Amen! Amen!
renaissancegirl87 the scriptures says...none shall lack her mate....none!
Search the book of the Lord , and see what he will do. Not one of these birds and animals will be missing, and none will lack a mate, for the Lord has promised this. His Spirit will make it all come true.
Isaiah 34:16 NLT
Jakki Chege however Apostle Paul was single and without a mate. “So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows-it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.”
1 Corinthians 7:8 NLT
it’s very possible that some will not be married.
Right on time, as usual. Thanks Mark!!
Gina May, in 7 months time, how have this video helped you?
Wise advice. I made the mistake last year when I met someone and became totally infatuated with her. We were good friends until I accidentally said something and she blocked me on what's app and refused to talk to me. I was heartbroken for a long time. I have become very good friends with someone I have known for about 15 years and will be taking the advice from this video.
I've learned to ask God to show me who the person is immediately and he has saved me from alot drama and pain.
I loved the video! As you mentioned, I believe a lot of singles are getting confused with guarding your heart and putting walls up.
This is great advice, as I get waaaay to carryied away but the idea of a relationship with someone I forget to actually focus on who they are and whether we actually work together well!
How do you stop telling everyone you like this person lol. I get a crush, and let everyone know that I like them lol. Guess I have bad boundaries.
lol
I did same mistake..
same,how
You just go for what you like, nothing wrong with that, just try to act a bit more indifferent sometimes with who you like
Let me comment before i watch this...
What i did is to pray, And God helped me through
Thank you. 3 years has passed since you uploaded this and it is still blessing singles all over the world. God bless you and your ministry
These are so good advice, thank God he makes His will clear through the bible applied by this Chanel !
So glad this was helpful!
Omg I was just scrolling down on RUclips videos. I wasn’t even looking for a specific video but this popped up. It came at a perfect timing!
I have been praying for someone I am possibly interested in and been praying for it! This was an eye opening for me. 1. J have to accept my feelings for this person possibly
2. I need to go with logic
3. I need to be interested not infatuated that can block me from seeing things early
4. Pray that God will show me if he’s the one!
Thank you so helpful!
You should totally start a podcast! I would listen to them all the time
I hope to one day! I just don't have enough time at the moment. Thanks :)
Excellent message
I’m so glad I ran into this video For the longest time I felt that this one person was gonna be my husband literally from God. And that’s when I realize you should always doubt your doubts because after literally almost 2 years he never pursued me and he got a girlfriend 💔. It was heartbreaking but I’m healed now thank you Jesus for breaking the spirit of deception and I know God has my husband out there somewhere 😌.
Thank you for sharing this, this is exactly what I'm going through right now
1. Accept your feelings for this person, assuming that you will get together one day.
You are not discontent with God when liking somebody. You can be disappointed but avoid emotional devastation. Don't get too far to head of yourself.
2. Relay more on logic rather than your longing, heart, and soul.
3. Be interested and not infatuated. Yup. Be open to possibilities, opportunities.
4. Don't pray to be with this person, but pray that God reveals if He wants you to be with this specific person.
Hi Pastor Mark, I just want to thank you for all the Godly wisdom I've received from your vids the last 3 yrs. I have learned tons, mostly that I've used dating as an idol and God has completely shut the door for me so my relationship with Christ can grow. I'd like to make a financial donation in compensation if that's possible. God bless. P.S. give the kids good quality fish oil to help them focus better.
This is the best explanation and advice on how to wait on the Lord. Most people tell you to do nothing. That’s not how we handle anything else in our lives and like you explained it’s not even biblical. Thank you so much!
Timely message! I thank YHWH (GOD) For you Brother Mark this was something I needed to hear and apply to my life. Stay Blessed!!
You truly are a wise man.Your advice opened my eyes.
I was with my ex girlfriend for almost 7 months recently. At the beginning of our relationship, I was trying not to get attached to her and was trying to keep my independence. Later, I started getting really comfortable with her and loved her a lot. We had hopes of getting married and starting a family one day. She was the best friend I ever had and now she’s gone. Everything felt so right with her. Now everything feels so pointless and hopeless.
I'm very happy that I've found this video....
Gauging your compatibility is a smart choice
Marsha Creary how does one do this?
This was so wise!! Thank you
So glad it was helpful! All glory to God!
Thanks Mark. Appreciate your ministry.
I really like how you added the being Friends first (thats what i want to do) but it seems like, where im at, alot of guys dont wanna do that. Thanks for the advice!
Thank you so much for this wisdom. Being a college student in her early twenties, I never really knew how to date, I thought just going off of how I feel was enough. But the more I mature in God, the more he reveals to me the work that is needed to go into my approach to healthy dating. Instead of constantly putting myself in a fantasy of a relationship, overextending, not creating healthy boundaries - then getting my entire world shattered once I realize that that approach was not the one God intended me to follow, I am going to first pray to the Lord for forgiveness then forgive myself for what I didnt know then apply these helpful and logical tips into my dating life so that I can protect myself and honor God at the same time.
Timely! God's definitely using YOU for me Thanks a lot for these impactful teachings and for being willing, PST Mark... God bless you always.
Amen thank you.. you are such a blessing to us
I agree. Glory be to God. :)
Great video idea. Well-executed!
The minivan example was so good, thank you so much!
My pleasure!
Thank You Lord Father for 'answering' me through this video☺ You truly are a gracious and faithful God🙏💙
God is good!
Good points, you have a very soothing voice, and i like you're explanation.
So glad you enjoyed the video :)
I needed this. Honestly. I'm guarding my heart because there's this guy that I partially have feelings for him, but I'm being careful because he's not ready for a relationship.
I just want to logically figure out if any guy I find attractive is worth a crap or relationship minded before that happens I feel like any guy thinks I'm pursuing them when I say hi and I am just trying to be friendly. Relationship stuf is so hard
I have spent months investigating ways to improve relationships and discovered an awesome website at adult magic tactic (google it if you are interested)
Focus on Jesus.
YummyYumTempura agreed! He should always be the center of focus in our lives😊
I love Jesus more than I love any guy!!!! Like it's jacked up to assume from the little things. We're supposed to love each other and put life into each other. Encourage each other. Like my gosh this RUclips channel annoys me a bit. Like if I like you, I will say I like you. Because when I like someone I'm not afraid at ALL to tell him. That or I'd play house with him. Only him. Like bringing him a cookie. Giving him a cute little note. Something extremely OBVIOUS. My gosh. It's ridiculous.
People at my church are soooo focused on dating that they don't even encourage each other. Especially the opposite sex. Like how the heck are you going to marry a person you don't even really know. It annoys the heck outta me.
I just got out of an engagement and I really wish the Lord lead me to watch you sooner man.
Thanks Mark. What a great help.
Thank you!!!!!!! I’ve had this issue my entire life. Time to get it in check
Thank you for your videos, its like talking to a friend :)
I'm so glad they have been helpful to you :)
Very useful and applicable.