Bill Burr- Wife Dumped Me Over Text...

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  • Опубликовано: 26 авг 2024
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Комментарии • 140

  • @CARBINEZzZzZ
    @CARBINEZzZzZ 3 года назад +157

    "Id love to keep seeing you but I joined the marines, yeah.. sorry about that. Yeah I know it's crazy. Well, see ya!" 😂😂😂

  • @cannabiscountry4171
    @cannabiscountry4171 3 года назад +77

    You're not drafting as a male online dating. You are in the draft.

  • @jonevans870
    @jonevans870 3 года назад +109

    You can tell Bill has never actually done online dating

    • @toxicbreez4277
      @toxicbreez4277 2 года назад +5

      Why would anyone do that? Lol

    • @seanyshepfit
      @seanyshepfit 2 года назад +3

      Not a bad thing

    • @johnathan4185
      @johnathan4185 2 года назад +6

      ironically bill would have a great experience on dating apps if he tried.. cos hes bill burr

  • @iancostigan5047
    @iancostigan5047 2 года назад +60

    I had a kid with a girl and we lived together for almost 6 years. She lost some weight and started hanging out old high school friends. She disappeared one day and left me with our son I moved back in with my parents because I needed help. I nor her family knew where she was. 39 days later she called and said she wanted to talk in person. Her dad drove her over because he wanted to see his grandson. While he was visiting my son, my ex and I went to talk in private. I didn't want to talk to her at all. She went on to blame me for working to hard and that our life was too normal and she couldn't live that life anymore and that she didn't love me anymore. She also said, I can not make others happy if I'm not happy. This was 9 years ago. 5 men one marriage and she is now divorced. She still has not found happiness. Luckily my son and I are very close because he has witnessed his mother's flakeyness his whole life an I've always been a constant presence. his well being and happiness was put before my own. It's funny because I thought she was a good person and never thought she would behave the way she has prior to her leaving me. She has not found happiness and is basically the same person she was 9 years ago.

    • @Fuzmonster59
      @Fuzmonster59 2 года назад +9

      Jesus, had to check your account to make sure you're not my dad
      Mum cheated on my dad for 5 years (which I had to coax out of her when I was a 16yo)
      Sister completely cut her off for years and claim she had noooooo idea why. Still with the person she cheated on my dad with who has remarried to a nice lady, so that's good
      But yeah pretty the way I see it the way I see it is women get bored with a comfortable life, feel without thinking that "the grass is greener on another guy" and then just fuck everything up for absolutely everyone, including themselves

    • @sloanmagnum5009
      @sloanmagnum5009 2 года назад +1

      Sheesh. I've known women like that thru mutual acquaintances. They're just the worst.

  • @brandonhaygood5286
    @brandonhaygood5286 3 года назад +43

    Bill's ignorance on online dating lol

  • @francescolimberti7306
    @francescolimberti7306 2 года назад +8

    The last 50 seconds of this video are the best 50 seconds in RUclips

  • @BlackwaterFather
    @BlackwaterFather 2 года назад +3

    You better hope he's not mad at yaaaaahallelujahhhh!!! Lmao

  • @sueblack5794
    @sueblack5794 3 года назад +83

    Bill is awesome but Bill has never been on a dating app and they only work for some. They aren't filled with the best of us, the very opposite of it.

    • @rorycrabbe7146
      @rorycrabbe7146 3 года назад +1

      True that bro

    • @ss-wu1vp
      @ss-wu1vp 3 года назад

      What is filled with the best of us. Dating is a numbers game either way.

    • @sueblack5794
      @sueblack5794 3 года назад +10

      @@ss-wu1vp Oh for F sake, how the heck do you think people met before apps. Go outside and do something, gets some hobbies and get off of the couch and in front of a screen. Also....guarantee that mans ex is on dating apps, 100%. That is the type of people on them.

    • @LLG47
      @LLG47 3 года назад +8

      @@sueblack5794 also, people lie like crazy on dating apps through doctored or optimistic pictures, only the best parts of the character etc. It's like sales. Harder to hide things in real life.

    • @insanity4462
      @insanity4462 3 года назад +1

      Dating apps are for beautiful people that either don't have enough fuck buddies yet or are too toxic to keep them around.
      Even my little brother - who would be called "mega Chad" in redpill circles - doesn't use dating apps, because he has his trusted goup of girls in a whatsapp group.
      If you are looking for a decent relationship, oddly enough dating apps is the worst place to look for it.

  • @brettg274
    @brettg274 3 года назад +24

    I’m so glad I got married back when online dating was new and still for losers. I would hate to navigate that world these days.

    • @RayBetterThanEvilCanival
      @RayBetterThanEvilCanival 3 года назад +5

      It fucking sucks so I don’t blame you

    • @daifukuu
      @daifukuu 2 года назад +3

      ah dude online dating can suck my nuts, the narcissism there is unbelievable

  • @jonathanwobesky9507
    @jonathanwobesky9507 2 года назад +2

    8:33 "you can't corral that" never better said. What a communicata.

  • @optimum2008
    @optimum2008 2 года назад +3

    "What's after that?... Stun gun?" 😂

  • @rubykrussg
    @rubykrussg 2 года назад +2

    I'm gonna save Bills singing as a ringtone. That was brilliant!

  • @nicholasr7987
    @nicholasr7987 3 года назад +12

    Online dating sucks. These women find out your married, still jump on it, then get mad and tell your wife.

    • @loganmcfar530
      @loganmcfar530 3 года назад +17

      Shouldn’t be cheating on your wife in the first place with that hypothetical

    • @HittokiriBatosai
      @HittokiriBatosai 3 года назад +1

      I think you meant to say cheating sucks lmao

    • @sherry2297
      @sherry2297 3 года назад +2

      Sounds like being married (to you) sucks.

    • @nicholasr7987
      @nicholasr7987 3 года назад +3

      It was sarcasm. There is no hope for people, if you think someone would actually say that as anything but. If you need an emoji to decifer communication....it must suck being married to you all.

    • @loganmcfar530
      @loganmcfar530 3 года назад +2

      @@nicholasr7987 Bro, you are literally talking in text. How the fuck are we supposed to know you are being sarcastic? There are plenty of stupid people out there who actually believe what you are saying. We just thought u were one of them. 🤷

  • @elee9124
    @elee9124 3 года назад +13

    Oooooh jeeeeezus

  • @eltooyo2
    @eltooyo2 Год назад

    Best commentary on Organized Religion that I've heard in a very long time.

  • @ComradeDt
    @ComradeDt 2 года назад +1

    with the first pick of the tinder draft! *ding ding* HAHAHAHAHHA

  • @ariasyesen
    @ariasyesen 2 года назад +4

    The Catholicism bit at the end is the realist thing about catholic mass bahaha
    “Get on your knees sinner”

  • @HarderTime89
    @HarderTime89 3 года назад +20

    Im still healing from my ex. I gotta send him my story yet. Worse than most of them Ive heard him talk about.

    • @daifukuu
      @daifukuu 2 года назад +4

      you can do it dude. been there done that. best of wishes.

    • @AreyMSalih
      @AreyMSalih 2 года назад +1

      @@Sullivancohen sounds really hectic

    • @toxicbreez4277
      @toxicbreez4277 2 года назад

      @@Sullivancohen don't let these Micahs and Mary Beth's in your life! Get you an Arthur Morgan, a good boah.. 🤠 and don't ever go back to either of those cowpokes, no matter how much they try to convince you just one more score. Luv ya

    • @micahwright5901
      @micahwright5901 Год назад

      @@toxicbreez4277 Hey now… 😢

  • @primepap
    @primepap 2 года назад +2

    11:22 is hilarious

  • @mrryan4295
    @mrryan4295 2 года назад +4

    Honestly half the dating profiles you come across nowadays are just ads for Instagram or only fans

  • @MRJTD99
    @MRJTD99 3 года назад +27

    I wish Bill was the pastor at my school's church back in the day

  • @kitcobain444
    @kitcobain444 2 года назад +1

    6:00 til the end LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣💀

  • @sir_smilesalot7589
    @sir_smilesalot7589 2 года назад +1

    As a pretty devout catholic, that bit on catholicism was fucking hilarious!

  • @MKULTRA_Victim_
    @MKULTRA_Victim_ 22 дня назад

    Yeh I wish online dating worked like that LMAO

  • @SuigaRou
    @SuigaRou 3 года назад +12

    Wait, you get to eat marshmallows for eternity?
    *Joins the church.*

  • @jhonfamo8412
    @jhonfamo8412 3 года назад +12

    Wear a rubber

    • @nicholasr7987
      @nicholasr7987 3 года назад

      Do not give oral either. Herpes is disgusting

    • @MRJTD99
      @MRJTD99 3 года назад

      Always good advice regardless of context!

  • @ashi1922
    @ashi1922 2 года назад +1

    That man needs a retraining order. Stalking is just as unacceptable for women.

  • @calebfromblood6915
    @calebfromblood6915 2 года назад +6

    Online dating is just people looking for a checklist / shopping list and is all about artificial connections. NATURAL connection is lost. Got a crush at the office and you both have that natural attraction? That’s how you find people. Not attention whoring online for validation. Women seem to be more guilty of this but I see dudes doing it too, although not as much

  • @lrrich8023
    @lrrich8023 2 года назад +1

    Even from a girlfriend/boyfriend, dump by text is sooooo weakkkkkkk.

  • @petercampbell183
    @petercampbell183 3 года назад +28

    Back in the day, my girl broke up with me via fax. After seven years, living in Paris. Brutal.

    • @davidperez5089
      @davidperez5089 3 года назад

      Sounds extremely selfish. You never saw it coming?

    • @petercampbell183
      @petercampbell183 3 года назад +3

      @@davidperez5089 I was shooting in Morocco for 6 weeks and came home to an apartment totally empty except for the fax machine.....

    • @davidperez5089
      @davidperez5089 3 года назад +2

      @@petercampbell183 rough! Most of my girlfriends have thoroughly disappointed me. Not the current one of 1+year. Good luck.

    • @ThatoneGuy-zd4rl
      @ThatoneGuy-zd4rl 3 года назад +4

      Did it take 7 years to get the fax?

    • @petercampbell183
      @petercampbell183 3 года назад +3

      @@ThatoneGuy-zd4rl No, the fax came as soon as I returned to Paris. I rolled around in that empty apartment for three months, just hating life.

  • @jhonfamo8412
    @jhonfamo8412 3 года назад +3

    That's what happens when you're so kind I don't respect you. it's sad that it's that way

    • @PathIsntReal
      @PathIsntReal 3 года назад +5

      That’s sounds like a *you* problem.

    • @SirYaliBeats
      @SirYaliBeats 3 года назад +10

      That’s being a pushover. Being kind isn’t the problem

  • @strachanspodcast5951
    @strachanspodcast5951 2 года назад +1

    Online dating has made the dating world way more competitive

  • @codythompson759
    @codythompson759 3 года назад +4

    Bill you kill me! I only wish online dating was that cool haha Its just about a joke. I was on a couple dating sites for 4 years until FINALLY I found a decent woman. Alot of baggage!!

  • @r.l.erdody7726
    @r.l.erdody7726 3 года назад +1

    String her along if she doesn't leave while your in basic maybe she is the one move her to the friend zone

  • @gregeads6124
    @gregeads6124 3 года назад +1

    You gotta be straight with a crazy girl. Nip it the bud. Nip it

  • @stevenfoster9402
    @stevenfoster9402 Год назад

    The reason online dating can be difficult is because people can lie and make up a character or version of themselves to attract people but they aren't anything like what they say in their profile. Looks, personality, hobbies, etc. You want better chances to find someone you actually have commonalities with, go do out something you actually enjoy. Follow your own hobby. You like trying new foods, go to a local food festival, you like going bowling, go bowling. You like reading, go to a library (yes a library, they still exist). Chances are, you might find someone who shares the same hobbies and interests you do, and might be a great time to stike up a conversation. You don't even have to go alone, bring a friend, and don't go looking for love. People can tell, especially women, when you're "on the hunt." Do what you you enjoy and what makes you happy for you, and if you happen to find someone there that enjoys the same thing, then there you go. Get off of online dating and try something new, or how we used to do things before everybody had a phone in their face.

  • @chrissy9153
    @chrissy9153 2 года назад +2

    Don’t get married early y’all

  • @solidwegy61
    @solidwegy61 3 года назад

    Hallelujah heealleluyeeah! LOL!

  • @MrToddling
    @MrToddling 3 года назад

    Thanks Dr Phil...I mean Bill

  • @j.borchard2208
    @j.borchard2208 2 года назад +1

    I’m practicing Roman Catholic, go once a month and that Bit Bill fucking Rocked! LMFAO! 🤪🤩😆

  • @user-ui6ef5ei7t
    @user-ui6ef5ei7t 3 года назад +1

    well bill, you summaried the bibble shows well...

  • @lifemocker85
    @lifemocker85 3 года назад +3

    online dating does only work for women

  • @gregeads6124
    @gregeads6124 3 года назад +1

    Yeah take your time. Its hurts like a bitch for a minute but when you look back at that train wreck you will so thankful your gone.

  • @klompsauce
    @klompsauce 2 года назад +3

    That's where the music is? Whites are greatest musicians ever.

    • @watching99134
      @watching99134 Год назад

      In all fairness he was talking more about singing.

    • @jasontorrens626
      @jasontorrens626 Год назад

      Lol, nope

    • @zerpblerd5966
      @zerpblerd5966 Год назад

      feck off with this ignorant nonsense
      we're all people, we aren't separated by race, that is a social construction
      we have different skin tones

  • @dr.jonesmurphy5743
    @dr.jonesmurphy5743 3 года назад

    Online dating is no good man

  • @depressedessendonfan5702
    @depressedessendonfan5702 3 года назад

    CON TIKI TOUR.

  • @amsterdamnl5505
    @amsterdamnl5505 3 года назад

    Almost pissed my pants laughing about the religious sh×t. 🤣🤣🤣

  • @TaddiestMason
    @TaddiestMason 3 года назад

    Haha haha hahahaha

  • @eddygatlin
    @eddygatlin 3 года назад +5

    Update on the biblical stuff is so true, consciousness and philosophy is always evolving so why is that so called almighty stuff stuck in archaic times if future generations are to keep believing

  • @MakeUmad4life
    @MakeUmad4life 2 года назад +1

    Online dating is stupid. Go out in meet people in real life.

  • @poncetek-1119
    @poncetek-1119 2 года назад

    Draft IF they are using up to date pics & not pics from when they were 18 now 27. Games women play are horrible FR

  • @jonathanjollimore7156
    @jonathanjollimore7156 3 года назад

    Just a guess but this was not true love?

  • @xellosmetallium8519
    @xellosmetallium8519 3 года назад +8

    Bill, take on religion here is hilarious because it is true. The stories they tell, no mater what religion, always talk about how grateful we should be to god and how we can get into Heaven by enormous self sacrifice either by giving money we don't have, praying and fasting all the time, or by doing charity work we don't have time for; because we are working all the time just to survive.
    It's makes me sad, you can't just be kind to your fellow man or woman, respect gods law while being thankful for your life, or give a few bucks here and there when you can anymore. That it's no longer enough to love god and everything we have received as a blessing.

    • @holdencommodorehsv
      @holdencommodorehsv 3 года назад

      The religious God isnt real, there is no proof of God.

    • @slappymcbutterballs7326
      @slappymcbutterballs7326 3 года назад +1

      it's hilarious because it's so false. No where in the bible does it say any of those things.

  • @normantheforeman9866
    @normantheforeman9866 3 года назад

    Pope Francis is retiring??

  • @micmo6640
    @micmo6640 2 года назад +3

    Half the US economy was in bed with ol' Adolf and there have been priests actively resisting and dying in the concentration camps. But knowing the details isn't necessarily something we can expect from a comedian doing part-time philosophical advice, is it?

  • @Paul-ou1rx
    @Paul-ou1rx 3 года назад +5

    Dude, have fun, make money then settle down if you want with a 23 year old. During that time, don't date anyone over 28.

    • @Edmond347
      @Edmond347 3 года назад +7

      How old are you? 19? What an idiotic advice.

    • @AssGoober492
      @AssGoober492 3 года назад

      @@Edmond347 I mean it’s not completely bad idea to me. (I am a 19 year old btw)

    • @Edmond347
      @Edmond347 3 года назад +7

      @@AssGoober492 It’s the most moronic idea I’ve ever heard. You should never settle with a 23-year-old. It’s going to be a disaster. She knows squat about life and commitment. Same for a guy. And you should only date women who know what they like and dislike, and have life experience. If you want a meaningful relationship that is. If you just want to fuck around, age doesn’t matter. But “settling” means a relationship to me. You’ll find out soon enough how dumb his idea is.

    • @Watcher4111
      @Watcher4111 3 года назад

      Dont settle down. Dont marry. Thats good advice

    • @wienerstein2817
      @wienerstein2817 2 года назад

      @@Watcher4111 Okay Pioneer Nut.

  • @watching99134
    @watching99134 Год назад

    Bill's usually hilarious but he should stay in his lane sometimes and not just with online dating, the chief rabbi of Rome converted to Catholicism after the war (Israel Zolli) and his (Bill's) ideas come from the book "Hitler's Pope" which generated a response by a Florida-based rabbi David Dalin, "The Myth of Hitler's Pope".
    (It's just historical revisionism as part of the secular-liberal cultural war of our era.)

  • @jimwerther
    @jimwerther 2 года назад +1

    Bill couldn't say it, but I will: The first guy is a sad, pathetic soul. Unless and until he fundamentally changes who he is and how he thinks, he will never be happy.

  • @utubedestroysmytime
    @utubedestroysmytime 2 года назад

    That woman TRIED getting close to him and in 5 years he’ll be some lone loser and still bragging over her.

  • @peterfallon4018
    @peterfallon4018 2 года назад

    GET THE F OFF ONLINE DATING!!!! Meet people in real life, stumble if you must, you’ll get better & soon you’ll be off to the races!!!

  • @johnphillip2566
    @johnphillip2566 3 года назад +2

    How is it possible to only sleep with 2 girls by 30 years old? That’s almost impressive!

    • @legendkillersshittyduffleb932
      @legendkillersshittyduffleb932 2 года назад +1

      Well you might think I'm Jesus cause I'm 32 never had sex lol

    • @alaron5698
      @alaron5698 2 года назад +2

      @@legendkillersshittyduffleb932 A wizard! What an honor!

    • @legendkillersshittyduffleb932
      @legendkillersshittyduffleb932 2 года назад

      @@alaron5698 i guess. I hate it but i have too work in it. American women have high damn standards

    • @BenDover-de7tf
      @BenDover-de7tf 2 года назад

      @@legendkillersshittyduffleb932 goddamm bro , ya lost ya VCard since this comment ? Haha

    • @nathanmiller9918
      @nathanmiller9918 2 года назад

      @@legendkillersshittyduffleb932 Doing okay? I feel like you're obviously in your own head, and getting in your own way. I understand if you're looking for "the one," but if you are just looking to have sex there's nothing difficult about it beyond getting in our own way. Women want it too. Maybe it's a confidence issue, or your approach. I don't pretend to know what you're like, but there are definitely women here with absolutely no standards. Remember that you miss all of the swings that you don't take.

  • @saintd_ii
    @saintd_ii 3 года назад

    Cringe npc take.