Jimmy Carr: Telling Jokes (2009) - FULL LIVE SHOW

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  • Опубликовано: 28 ноя 2021
  • Jimmy Carr: Telling Jokes (2009) - FULL LIVE SHOW
    Jimmy Carr, the hardest-working man in comedy returns with his most controversial stand-up show to date, Telling Jokes.
    Slick, sick and definitely not for the easily offended, Jimmy offers a masterclass in comedy as he takes his dry and sardonic wit to a whole new level. And it seems that no-one and nothing is safe from Jimmy’s cutting remarks as he delves into a diverse range of subjects including religion, sex, bullying and (somewhat ironically) political correctness …
    Welcome to Jimmy Carr's official RUclips channel, where you can find all the best bits from his stand-up comedy shows, TV appearances, podcasts, and more!
    Check out my latest tour info here: www.jimmycarr.com/
    Subscribe to this channel and turn on notifications to get notified whenever Jimmy uploads a new video. You won't regret it, unless you're easily offended.
    Subscribe now: / @jimmycarr
    #JimmyCarr #Comedy #standupcomedy
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Комментарии • 607

  • @jimmycarr
    @jimmycarr  2 года назад +115

    Watch more of Jimmy’s Full Shows - ruclips.net/p/PLqmvX-B8Fiea3oF1Yx2Gl5rBPonSkMDHM

    • @Seldomane
      @Seldomane 2 года назад +1

      With all of his sex jokes I laugh imagining Jimmy actually having sex. Does he perform while performing? How could he not think of his own jokes mid coitus? Plz make another America tour, believe it or not we need you.

    • @BuszmenKudlaty
      @BuszmenKudlaty 2 года назад +4

      Jimmy . Most popular sex position is from Star Wars : Han(d) Solo :P

    • @louiseramejkis8787
      @louiseramejkis8787 2 года назад +1

      p

    • @louiseramejkis8787
      @louiseramejkis8787 2 года назад

      you

    • @louiseramejkis8787
      @louiseramejkis8787 2 года назад

      hello

  • @illusion-xiii
    @illusion-xiii 2 года назад +299

    At the end when he said, "Thank you so much for buying the DVD if you're watching this at home", I felt a little guilty for a moment, watching it on RUclips. Then I remembered, it's his channel, he put it here. So thank *you* Jimmy Carr.

    • @nathanielpea5819
      @nathanielpea5819 2 года назад +7

      I bet you felt nearly as guilty as old Jimmy as he defrauded the country of millions in tax. Luckily tax doesn't go toward the NHS and saving the lives of sick children..... Does it?

    • @aerogfs
      @aerogfs 2 года назад +2

      Laughs in pirate

    • @Skyflairl2p
      @Skyflairl2p 2 года назад +29

      @@nathanielpea5819 Yeah... Let's not overdramatize absolutely everything now...... Shall we?

    • @ulrichenevoldsen8371
      @ulrichenevoldsen8371 2 года назад +10

      @@nathanielpea5819 he probably still pay more in tax every year than you do in a lifetime

    • @danielmacdonald3130
      @danielmacdonald3130 2 года назад +4

      "You wouldn't steal a car, you wouldn't steal a tv, you wouldn't watch a youtube video..."

  • @lynnmcgown2451
    @lynnmcgown2451 Год назад +66

    Very funny. So wonderful to have stand up comedians to soften the harshness of life. Thank you

  • @RichardSanchez137
    @RichardSanchez137 2 года назад +292

    Pure talent where after all these years, the jokes still hit hard.

    • @sanne3465
      @sanne3465 Год назад +11

      Just like my dad.

    • @zombl337og
      @zombl337og Год назад +2

      @@sanne3465 always a classic

  • @AleksandarIvanov69
    @AleksandarIvanov69 2 года назад +189

    This is my absolute most favorite show!
    That soup guy, Tracy and all other audience interactions elevated it above all others.

    • @nikil428
      @nikil428 2 года назад +15

      Yupp, but I really hope they both hooked up though! That would make this entire show so wholesome!

    • @aerogfs
      @aerogfs 2 года назад +2

      @@nikil428 Wondering the size of the queue though....

    • @Seldomane
      @Seldomane 2 года назад +4

      "Like a bulldog eating mayonaise" xD

    • @AbsinthedeLaRochefoucauld
      @AbsinthedeLaRochefoucauld 2 года назад +6

      And the very last jokes are pure fucking gold :D

  • @Lincolntowncoupe
    @Lincolntowncoupe 2 года назад +79

    "Revenge is icecream" was actually an adorable joke

  • @D50Music
    @D50Music 2 года назад +18

    What a wingman, sorted a date by accident during a show 😂

  • @creameryuk4905
    @creameryuk4905 2 года назад +12

    "Its gonna be a bit like throwing a sausage up an allyway" 🤣🤣

  • @creativehorse7907
    @creativehorse7907 2 года назад +663

    My goodness the thumbnail for the video, Halloween is over Jimmy!

    • @jamesjethrowesten3302
      @jamesjethrowesten3302 2 года назад +15

      Omfg lmao

    • @RobinMcBeth
      @RobinMcBeth 2 года назад +17

      Not with that face it isn't.

    • @danstanciu9549
      @danstanciu9549 2 года назад +5

      that’s how he looks with no make up🤣

    • @dangallwey8838
      @dangallwey8838 2 года назад

      @@danstanciu9549 Ohio. I o o Ohio to

    • @vhwadsworth
      @vhwadsworth 2 года назад +3

      True it is but in fairness Jimmy always looks creepy-scary.... hanging around schools with his white van.

  • @georgewilson4258
    @georgewilson4258 2 года назад +208

    Appreciate these full shows for free cheers Jimmy

    • @inceneration
      @inceneration 2 года назад +1

      Because he doesnt make enought money from doing them live woth Corona. And he kinda sucks. He will never be Lee Evans. Insulting people isnt funny. Its just Pathethic.

    • @tmantheman
      @tmantheman 2 года назад +27

      @@inceneration lol. The orony is your insulting him. 🤣

    • @nosirrah6213
      @nosirrah6213 2 года назад +7

      @@inceneration he is funny, stfu ur not a comedy police.

    • @michaelhawkins7389
      @michaelhawkins7389 2 года назад

      @@inceneration Lee Evans is overrated .. and has retired as a comic .... few years ago

    • @daleanderin1
      @daleanderin1 2 года назад

      "Free" 🤣🤣 a wannabe stand up comic right here.
      The cost is not financial.

  • @Anshu-Kajika
    @Anshu-Kajika 2 года назад +21

    After that guy said "She was easy", She Should have said " you haven't got any yet!!" hahahaha

  • @ynothavefun2399
    @ynothavefun2399 2 года назад +11

    Ok, now I need to watch all his videos. Absolutely f****** brilliant!!

  • @cosmosihu
    @cosmosihu Год назад +15

    Thank you Jimmy. These shows make my day, everyday. 🇲🇻

  • @apinakapina
    @apinakapina Год назад +15

    This is so tasteless. And brilliantly executed, hilarious, and so well performed. Kudos!

  • @gargar86
    @gargar86 2 года назад +296

    The thumbnail is certainly giving me a nightmare fuel.
    Thank you Jimmy Carr for laughs and creeps

  • @somberaf
    @somberaf Год назад +4

    What a goddamn legend of comedy

  • @Leatherargento
    @Leatherargento 9 месяцев назад +1

    I love the bit where Jimmy plays matchmaker.

  • @jjaronske6445
    @jjaronske6445 2 года назад +27

    "Czechs not accepted" deserved a better response.

  • @jace_Henderson
    @jace_Henderson 2 года назад +70

    America couldn’t handle this guy even if he went bare minimum.

    • @sirnigeloffarage9255
      @sirnigeloffarage9255 2 года назад +7

      He made a "Live in NY" show 2005. Its on youtube.... Its cringy cos you can tell he's holding back and that ruins the show completely.

    • @rangerleaf1505
      @rangerleaf1505 2 года назад

      We actually want him to come here and come full Force
      Problem is to many fucking snowflakes

    • @thepericlesof8449
      @thepericlesof8449 2 года назад +1

      Already happened

  • @nanogeekpro2
    @nanogeekpro2 2 года назад +64

    Jimmy, you always manage to cheer me up, thanks for releasing your shows on here, you're awesome bro. =)

    • @creameryuk4905
      @creameryuk4905 2 года назад +1

      I dont think "bro" was the correct term lmao 🤣

  • @NatandGeorge
    @NatandGeorge 2 года назад +13

    I like how Mark's date is just happily watching him be put in the spotlight by Jimmy.

  • @Bren688
    @Bren688 2 года назад +34

    Dwarf shortage jokes!
    You can't get much lower than that can you??

  • @kevinhavran4712
    @kevinhavran4712 2 года назад +42

    I hope Steve's and Tracy's children are doing fine...

    • @HepcatNZ
      @HepcatNZ 2 года назад +2

      I wonder if they ever hooked up.

    • @creameryuk4905
      @creameryuk4905 2 года назад +4

      Didnt work out, it was indeed like throwing a sausage up an allyway 🤣

  • @keithreinbolt159
    @keithreinbolt159 2 года назад +8

    “Looked like someone’s shadow got up and fucked off”

  • @Paglavc1
    @Paglavc1 2 года назад +13

    "whats your name?" Tracy... "Ofc it fucking is" :D : D :D

  • @Highrider_Phil_C
    @Highrider_Phil_C 2 года назад +56

    Funny man, he makes me laugh for days.

    • @geordiejohnston9815
      @geordiejohnston9815 2 года назад +3

      Try remembering the jokes. Teehee

    • @Seldomane
      @Seldomane 2 года назад +5

      I'll admit I'll laugh for seconds up to a minute, but days? That sounds like a condition Mr. Collins.

    • @Highrider_Phil_C
      @Highrider_Phil_C 2 года назад +1

      @@Seldomane That was more of a general statement of all his material, he is funny and witty.

  • @user-sn7dv8eq3v
    @user-sn7dv8eq3v 10 месяцев назад +1

    he is a total menace 😂😂

  • @jonathanduncan3482
    @jonathanduncan3482 2 года назад +76

    No man should tell dad jokes, but Jimmy Carr does it well

  • @nigelbond4056
    @nigelbond4056 2 года назад +29

    Keep on doing what you do so brilliantly Jimmy. 👏👌🤣

  • @Iveno-Von-Aethervein
    @Iveno-Von-Aethervein Год назад +41

    when you're on a stage being paid to tell offensive jokes it's the funniest thing ever but when you tell offensive jokes and don't get paid for it, suddenly you've gone too far.

  • @zackpenhaligon9904
    @zackpenhaligon9904 2 года назад +18

    "I'm jokin' I never pay" - we know, Jimmy, we know... 😆😆😆

  • @John-zs2eo
    @John-zs2eo 2 года назад +34

    Jimmy, you are undoubtedly the King of adult humor with some class, if that's possible, and your crowd work is masterful. Please come to the USA sometime soon, I'm 65. The sooner the better!

  • @augustobuosi782
    @augustobuosi782 2 года назад +2

    Big thank you from Brazil! What is the best place to keep up with your content? Best comedian ever, not even jokin.. xD

  • @boyanhristov8663
    @boyanhristov8663 2 года назад +24

    he really is a fucking legend,these comeback are faster than the speed of light

    • @musicloverme3993
      @musicloverme3993 Год назад

      If I want my comeback, I have to get it from your mum.

  • @goose300183
    @goose300183 2 года назад +36

    Thanks for the upload Jimmy! A lot of us need a laugh these days

  • @angiewilliams3458
    @angiewilliams3458 2 года назад +13

    Omg a 13 year old at this show…..🥴
    Love you Jimmy! You're THE BEST!

  • @heimdall8305
    @heimdall8305 Год назад +1

    brilliant comedian and amazing crowd are best to complement each other.

  • @Madzu159
    @Madzu159 2 года назад +2

    About a copper coil. In the 90's there was a scrap metal rush in former Soviet states. People were burning coils of cable in a fire to get the copper(or aluminium) for scrapyards. Some people went missing these days...

  • @5thsgamingreplays518
    @5thsgamingreplays518 2 года назад +24

    Jimmy, love your humor. Found these from the 8 out of 10 cats series videos.

  • @shannonscopper4298
    @shannonscopper4298 2 года назад +15

    Ok, at first I was a little put off but this guy is awesome 😂

    • @theordinary1175
      @theordinary1175 2 года назад

      Why are you gay

    • @BlazeBuds
      @BlazeBuds Год назад

      Yeah the child jokes can be a bit much, especially how trafficking has been exposed the last few years, but hey if we don't laugh about it

  • @AdamTheHammer
    @AdamTheHammer 2 года назад +27

    bloody brilliant! i liked the spitting image puppet at the end telling us to like and subscribe

  • @jdottdeestv8149
    @jdottdeestv8149 2 года назад +1

    Revenge is ice cream - I like this.

  • @forrestblackburn9786
    @forrestblackburn9786 Год назад +1

    What are you studying?
    My response: Your mom

  • @palficsaba1710
    @palficsaba1710 2 года назад +8

    I didn't know Roger Federer is such a good comedian.

  • @haloclips5387
    @haloclips5387 2 года назад +13

    50:50 is just perfect 😂

  • @rogerandersen7046
    @rogerandersen7046 2 года назад +25

    I like how people are so offended that he said vaccines don’t suck.

    • @harnois75
      @harnois75 2 года назад +6

      How would he know? The only fact is that the vaccinated can still spread, so what's the big deal about personal choice?

    • @john-supablaze9478
      @john-supablaze9478 2 года назад +4

      The gov also tell us to pay taxes..
      Funny how its ok for Jim lad to pick n choose gov rules to follow..

    • @PaulGillooly1
      @PaulGillooly1 2 года назад +3

      V people are more likely to die of Covid than non V people. Check week 48 report from UKHSA.

    • @rogerandersen7046
      @rogerandersen7046 2 года назад +1

      @@PaulGillooly1 that does not mention mortality only percentages of who are and are not vaccinated. And that only states that unvaccinated people are more likely to have it. Could you link your source.

    • @jayadams681
      @jayadams681 2 года назад +3

      @@PaulGillooly1 actually it says that unvaxxed people are more likely to end up in intensive care.

  • @andrewpickering5180
    @andrewpickering5180 2 года назад +3

    Wonderful

  • @dorbitan2935
    @dorbitan2935 Год назад +1

    found about your shows about a year ago. you have enriched my life jimmy :)

    • @jcbanbury
      @jcbanbury 11 месяцев назад +1

      Fk me you're late😂😂😂

  • @NBM397
    @NBM397 2 года назад +42

    Woot! Thanks Jimmy.
    When this Covid makes it possible, I'll come to the UK from Denmark to watch you with my daughter (a show, not watching you "get" with my daughter.

    • @michaelrosenberg2332
      @michaelrosenberg2332 2 года назад +8

      Whuhan flu has nothing to do with it, it's government control

    • @travisbrunner2922
      @travisbrunner2922 2 года назад +4

      Wow, you are incredibly creepy.

    • @NBM397
      @NBM397 2 года назад +2

      @@travisbrunner2922
      That's the point: Right up Jimmy's alley.

    • @michaelrosenberg2332
      @michaelrosenberg2332 2 года назад +2

      @@travisbrunner2922 perhaps incredibly truthful. Didn't Knee Chi say that you can tell a lot about a person by the amount of truth they can accept

    • @nathanielpea5819
      @nathanielpea5819 2 года назад

      This is creepy on so many different levels. Stay in Denmark.

  • @cb6866
    @cb6866 2 года назад

    Thank you !

  • @benjourniee9285
    @benjourniee9285 2 года назад +3

    Teach a man fish lol 😆 😂

  • @WilliamHBaird-eq2hp
    @WilliamHBaird-eq2hp 2 года назад +8

    Great Show indeed!

  • @philmclitoris2304
    @philmclitoris2304 2 года назад +3

    I was wondering why these people are dressed like everybody used to dress back in the 2000s...
    Then I read the title.
    Such nostalgia.

  • @matteoar
    @matteoar 2 года назад +27

    This will be fun to see.

  • @FillipJPhry
    @FillipJPhry 2 года назад +2

    Slappy can write a helluva joke.

  • @joebideng9226
    @joebideng9226 2 года назад +2

    Thumbnail looks like a Sims 3 character

  • @RobinMcBeth
    @RobinMcBeth 2 года назад +17

    Without a doubt your best special.

  • @shellybelly35
    @shellybelly35 7 месяцев назад

    Brilliant vid thank you Jimmy ❤❤😂😂

  • @meatmaster8636
    @meatmaster8636 2 года назад +5

    love this guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's on the top of my list of .....well......He's on top.....

  • @ChrisGirly3
    @ChrisGirly3 6 месяцев назад

    My birth year hits just right

  • @szeltovivarsydroxan9944
    @szeltovivarsydroxan9944 2 года назад +18

    2009... God, how I miss those simple times.

  • @pawsitivenooz
    @pawsitivenooz 2 года назад +2

    FINALLY NEW STUFFZ! 🤙🎉🥳

  • @gregevans173
    @gregevans173 2 года назад +4

    (Men) "Have a word for the silent treatment, it's called silence" Thank you for saying it cause when I do I tend to be slapped

  • @stevekuhn91182
    @stevekuhn91182 2 года назад +1

    amazing

  • @Kostadin_Arolski
    @Kostadin_Arolski 2 года назад +15

    Never watched this guy before, 40 minutes in and his sharing the n1 spot in my heart(and bum) with Luis ck

    • @Seldomane
      @Seldomane 2 года назад +2

      ... Just post in native language an let google translate :D

  • @michaelfirth1075
    @michaelfirth1075 2 года назад +7

    Fantastic guy.

  • @paulbriody297
    @paulbriody297 2 года назад +7

    Brilliant!

  • @julianwetherell5161
    @julianwetherell5161 2 года назад +2

    Brilliant

  • @aladeenmotherfu3kers687
    @aladeenmotherfu3kers687 2 года назад +1

    Love Tracy lollll

  • @alderart3992
    @alderart3992 2 года назад +12

    50:56 best joke. The delivery is just perfect.

  • @TheSleepingonit
    @TheSleepingonit 2 года назад

    Thank you

  • @jacobsen7005
    @jacobsen7005 2 года назад +3

    Great suits he always wear.

  • @username-jb6zy
    @username-jb6zy 2 года назад +4

    "Anti-theist" I like that.

  • @_.moilara._
    @_.moilara._ 2 года назад +4

    I love this man I swear

  • @bngt1dy816
    @bngt1dy816 2 года назад +157

    Jimmy Carr proudly sponsored by Astra Zenica

    • @gordonthompson8634
      @gordonthompson8634 2 года назад +9

      I HAVE SEEN FUNNIER BULLET HOLES TO THE HEAD give ya self a slap

    • @malthus101
      @malthus101 2 года назад +9

      @@gordonthompson8634 he IS funny, you're not Gordon.

    • @datboi3577
      @datboi3577 2 года назад +2

      @@malthus101 got em

    • @wojciechmatuszewski3346
      @wojciechmatuszewski3346 2 года назад +1

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      @wojciechmatuszewski3346 2 года назад +1

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  • @faderunnerx7230
    @faderunnerx7230 2 года назад +7

    Jimmy is such a legend

  • @Wicked1TN
    @Wicked1TN 2 года назад +13

    I hope Steve and Tracy are still together!

  • @erikprano3892
    @erikprano3892 2 года назад +2

    Jimmy love ya, love yer shows, yes i'm from the US, so don't hold it against me :P

  • @JaguarBST
    @JaguarBST 2 года назад +5

    Great audience

    • @fiwarelli
      @fiwarelli 2 года назад +1

      Yes, the ones left, after he had to throw people out. You know, the people with a spine.

  • @johnmanning5568
    @johnmanning5568 9 месяцев назад

    Wow!!! A Jimmy Carr show……uncensored!!

  • @Pearking_
    @Pearking_ 11 месяцев назад +1

    That thumbnail photo of his face is mildly terrifying

  • @Cvgthedino
    @Cvgthedino Год назад

    Jimmy care when his roasting people sounds like a younger Gordon Ramsay

  • @adarshjose3891
    @adarshjose3891 2 года назад +9

    Thank You Jimmy for this full show.
    😍🤩

  • @Oscar__D
    @Oscar__D 2 года назад

    Yessss

  • @eightsix754
    @eightsix754 2 года назад +11

    God Bless mr. carr.

  • @FlowUrbanFlow
    @FlowUrbanFlow 2 года назад +4

    Wow, this is amazingly funny

  • @mospc4993
    @mospc4993 2 года назад +3

    The Simon Cowell joke at 5:13 is fucking great!!!

  • @youtubeviewer5363
    @youtubeviewer5363 2 года назад +7

    The gay Jesus joke was brilliant… 🤣🙏

  • @rico1069
    @rico1069 2 года назад +9

    Brilliant. Recently went to the Terribly Funny tour and it was Jimmy's best yet

  • @mytorment
    @mytorment 2 года назад +3

    It's very Jimmy to pay for stage props he could later turn into a glitzy bathroom 😁

  • @goaway2803
    @goaway2803 2 года назад +13

    This was a great routine, thank you Mate

  • @Tidybitz
    @Tidybitz 2 года назад +4

    Support, Jimmy, please don't change. Brilliant!

  • @thecooky7744
    @thecooky7744 2 года назад +2

    It would be nice to hear the comments from the crowd

  • @Poppomatic64
    @Poppomatic64 Год назад +1

    If Steve and Tracie worked out, what an amazing “how we met” story lol

  • @travibetes1
    @travibetes1 2 года назад +4

    Idk why I only found out about you recently, but I fuckin love it 😂😂😂😂

  • @trayolphia5756
    @trayolphia5756 2 года назад +5

    I wonder if Steve and Tracey got together after the show…?

  • @joncobb9894
    @joncobb9894 2 года назад +3

    now im wondering if steve and tracy ever hooked up

    • @BigboyRoy100
      @BigboyRoy100 2 года назад +5

      And what flavour soup Tracy likes.

  • @nathantroyer6956
    @nathantroyer6956 2 года назад

    Carr is currently at 666k subscribers....this feels all too appropriate

  • @Only_Oliver
    @Only_Oliver 2 года назад

    Thanks for this upload daddy

  • @sailor-rick
    @sailor-rick 2 года назад +5

    Thanks for posting this. I Needed the laugh.