15 months SOBER update - tips to cut back on alcohol or, to quit drinking completely!
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- Опубликовано: 23 авг 2020
- I quit drinking a year ago and I've vowed to stay off it for another five years! Talking through my best tips to help you to help you to cut back on alcohol or to quit drinking completely if that's your goal!
► www.drinkaware.ie/
When I was a teenager I certainly drank too much, I was a binge drinker, as is very common in Ireland (statistics back this up, I'm not generalising). Then in my 20s I calmed down a bit and had a limit on my drinking - two glasses of wine. Over the past few years I noticed myself drinking more regularly and worse still, drinking way too much when I would drink. I blacked out three times that I can recall in 2018 (puking, screaming, no idea where I was or what was happening etc - that level of drunk). I don't know when or why I slid backwards in my drinking habits...it came on slowly over the past few years, and I didn't think I had issues for quite a while (defensiveness, I guess) but what I discovered through therapy was WHY drinking had become such an issue for me and why dark, buried trauma was coming out after one too many (which is private, but important to share as it might inspire some of you to pursue therapy!). I did still have a lot of fun when drinking - most of the time - but with those fun nights came the hangovers, the loss of time for goals and work, the shame, the health impacts on my mental and physical health (much of this impact is invisible until you're sober and realise how much of a big deal it was, or until you're older and it catches up on you).
THANK YOU for all of the feedback and for sharing your own stories and struggles under my six months off alcohol (pros and cons) video • six months sober ~ pro... I've been asked to make this a lot ever since via social media, so here it is!
ADVICE TO HELP YOU TO CUT DOWN OR TO QUIT ALTOGETHER!
► INSTAGRAM: melaniiemurphy...
THANK YOU for all of the feedback and for sharing your own stories and struggles under my six months off alcohol (pros and cons) video...has really helped to be able to read those comments during difficult points during all this Covid stuff! I've been asked to make this update but I wanted to focus on sharing tips and advice for others wanting to cut down or to quit (as there are A LOT OF YOU, especially right now, loads of people telling me they are drinking more often because of what's happening in the world!)...if this helps, please thumbs up above, it helps more people to find my content :) And PLEASE chat to me down here about your own experiences and where you're at with drink, cannot tell you how much I appreciate the connectivity during these difficult times xxxxxx
Thank you!! You inspired me to finally have the courage to stop drinking. When I first started, I planned for a year as well and now almost 9 months sober, I want to stay this way. So thank you again.
I started having a bad relationship with alcohol when I moved to Ireland and was going through a break up. I'd use that to numb everything till it all backfired months down the line, when I realized what I was doing and all the stupid stuff I had done because of it. I was scared of touching alcohol again for quite a while and have only drunk a few beers in the past 7 months, but I will give it up completely in the future. Thanks for sharing your journey!
Yeah well, I might be one of the people that commented on the previous update video and said that would quit too...but then covid hit us 😒 I am still trying to limit the consumption, it really sucks when I lose an entire weekend feeling sick, that’s what made me realize you are truly right. And I know that I will someday get to your level of commitment and switch to non-alcoholics for good...but I need the proper motivation (not being stuck inside because of a global pandemic would help, too). Like someone said, the best tip: get pregnant! 😂 thank you for this update, it really helps knowing that there are others who have struggled with this (I also don’t know my limit, I swear you described me with that whiskey story🤦♀️). 💚
Thanks for sharing! Alcohol is not a thing for me, but it's still helpful and inspiring to see your journey!! 💛
Hi Melanie, I'm 18 fresh into university ( studying Environmental Sciences and German It's pretty fun )and i wanted to thank you you and your videos have given me great guidance over my growing up. Im now currently weight lifting and eating yummy whole foods to take care of myself, I decided at 17 that I want to stay sober with no experience. I have love and appreciate you and your content so much. I love you and thank you for helping me to find and reaffirm the choices and lifestyle that make ME happy. 💚
I totally get the whole not recognising you’re drunk and stop drinking. I go from stone cold sober to absolutely wasted with no way of judging how drunk I am and usually when I tell people I’d rather not drink sometimes because if I start drinking, I just drink until I’m SO drunk, they don’t believe it’s a thing!
I’ve decided to never start drinking because I just have this gut feeling that I would probably become dependent on it. Which is hard, because I’m in college/university and everyone expects me to drink, alcohol is almost always available, and because I’m 19 no one takes me seriously when I say I don’t want a drink. I just don’t understand why alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not using.
Stay strong! You're making the right choice. I wish I had listened to my gut and done the same
I'm 24 in the same boat.
19, med school, same gut feeling, same thought of not starting it ever, same questions regarding alcohol. I feel you, let's stay strong!
yeah it's super annoying. If you want to fit in / get too annoyed with the questions just get some of the mixers and people will just assume you are also drinking alcohol when you are actually just drinking coke with maybe some lime in it :)
@@helantopia Thanks, I'll use that idea!
I have been smoking cigarettes and a week ago I chose to quit, sad that I did something that harmful to myself for a long time, but better late than never!
THIS LAST LINE IS A MOOOOOOOD! YES!
@@melaniemurphyofficial
Yes, better late than never. Stay strong! ❤
@@lisadgingersnaps9843 Thank you! I'm doing my best to stay strong!
the last line is TRUE! my dad smoked from 13-42 so almost exactly 30 years. He‘s now been a non-smoker for over 20 years and I don’t want to imagine how different things might be if he still smoked.
Every month without it makes a difference & it‘s amazing that you decided to quit :) must be hard but I‘m sure you’ll do great!
I‘m 24 and still struggle to control my drinking when I‘m out with friends/ at house parties. I don’t drink often but when I do, I tend to lose control of how much I drink and then embarrass myself and through up.
Because of that, I‘m considering going sober for a while, too. I‘m tired of always hating myself the next day when I could’ve just enjoyed the evening.
I began to have an increasingly worse relationship with alcohol when I was 23/24... for me, it was an escape from my anxiety and how I “made friends”. I was in denial and ended up putting myself in dangerous situations and hiding how much I drank. Blackouts became more common, and they seemed to happen faster.
If you are starting to question it, it never hurts to take a step back. Better to do it sooner rather than too late.
For me, it took a major confrontation from my mom and boyfriend to finally stop... and I have been sober for 1 1/2 years now.
I went through this stage, maybe a little younger, it took a father like figure to have a word for me to realise how bad it was. Once you have a break and realise how good it feels to have more energy and more money in your account you won't want to drink so much anymore x
I used to drink every single day and it wasn't just a drink, i was a bottle of wine a night or even more than that. My work suffered, my mental health went down the pan, my relationships with everyone went to shit. I keep drinking to the weekends now, and not to the extreme. Ive got a promotion at work since then and everything is soooo much better.
Sadly , I currently do what you used to do. And I don’t see it changing anytime soon as I’ve bad insomnia which is the reason I started in the first place. It’s yet to affect my job and relationships but I know that it’s coming. The fact that you’re able to keep it to the weekends is inspirational to me though
Alison Obrien Hey, I’ve been where you are right now. I know this might sound woo woo at first, but I got into adaptogens and nootropics because the prescription stuff messed with my hormones, and the stuff I used to keep me up was just ruining my sleep schedule further. Meds were making me crazy. There are actually non-alcoholic adult beverages that have adaptogens and nootropics in them that have been scientifically proven to help with cortisol imbalance, adrenal overdrive, depression, and sleep. Basically, the stuff that keeps you awake, anxious, and depressed. I just went looking for non-alcoholic drinks, but turns out they can be medicinal without the use of cannabinoids. Check out Dream Light from Kin Euphorics. It’s basically an alcohol substitute that contains a microdose of L-Theanine, L-Tryptophan, Reishi Mushroom, and Melatonin as its main ingredients, and it has a rich flavor. Basically, it helps signal the brain to facilitate its own melatonin production and makes you feel nice and fuzzy with body-friendly alternatives to alcohol. But there are LOTS of substitutes that also contain CBD, which is proven to help with some types of insomnia. You won’t save the cash by quitting, but you might get a lot more benefits by looking at the right alternatives. Good luck, and stay safe out there. ❤️
I used to be a someone who peer pressured others into drinking and thought it was normal but I have become so aware of it that you never know what someone is going through and if they say no to a drink just accept it and move on ... thank you so much for your awareness Melanie 😊
I returned to drinking recently after being sober for 2 years and my relationship with alcohol is so much healthier now. Whereas before I struggled to enjoy myself without it, now I often prefer not to drink or have a couple and stop (I have got drunk occasionally, not gonna lie, but that doesn't worry me). Just some words of encouragement for anyone who finds quitting very daunting. It doesn't have to be forever, but a break definitely helped me gain some healthier habits. Even just drinking less will make you feel so much better
LOVEEE this!
Little update: I'm feeling anxious and considering quitting again. I've also had a couple of arguments with my other half that I think would otherwise be avoided. To be honest, I kind of miss sober life and my sober self! Just thought I should let yous know
I started drinking again after a year and a half without and i've been struggling with constant guilt and shame. I haven't gotten too drunk but i still feel like a bad person. I want to quit again but am struggling to.
@@ashleypoirier5080 Thank you so much for sharing
Regardless of this I do believe people can restore healthy drinking habits, I just feel like alcohol really doesn't sit well with me i.e. I started feeling anxious and overwhelmed in my everyday life after 3 months drinking again. I believe it entirely depends on the individual and only you can determine what's right for you
Your 6 months off of alcohol video was the video that lead me to your channel. I have been sober for a year and a half and I find peace when I see other people around my age who have been through the same struggle.
Sometimes I forget that not everyone in their young adult years is out there having drinks every weekend, and maybe I’m not as much of an outlier as my anxiety leads me to believe. I’m almost 27, and while I have accepted my sobriety for the most part the biggest worry for me is comparing myself to others now. Thanks for the solidarity.
My husband quit drinking for similar reasons and I'm pregnant so neither of us drink at the moment. Our relationship has improved so much and life is just so much better in general. Some of his friends were so against it (we are Irish too) and still make rude comments about him being old and all that (we are 28). It's such a shame how often he has to explain himself. Thanks for sharing this because it's nice to have someone who understands.
Hello, I just wanted to say I am going through exactly the same thing right now with my OH - your comment has given me hope! I’m Scottish so share the entrenched drinking culture. Thank you for sharing and I hope you’ve had a happy pregnancy 💛
Ive always gotten a pretty negative reaction to not drinking for most of my life or ppl don't believe u don't drink etc. Ive only started to drink the last 2.5 yrs and out of that 1.5 yrs was spent moderating n taking lots of time off in between. To be honest u don't need to justify ur goals to anyone really, their comments are about themself somehow. Another thing is I enjoy wine and i personally don't want to give it up entirely but I don't want to be a regular drinker or heavy one. Im currently doing a 50 day challenge and i didn't receive the best reaction from my family members who drink during the holidays. I didn't really care to explain myself, i just said i take long breaks in between. My goals are completely around my fitness n health... this may mean taking more months off if i don't see any results from 50 days.
As a young person who has fully entered that university age when everyone is drinking all the time it's sometimes difficult being someone who doesn't really want to do that. I would rather not waste a large part of my tiny student budget or ruin my developing brain or do really dumb stuff while drunk but the peer pressure definitely gets hard sometimes. I do occasionally feel like I'm missing out because I drink super rarely and only small amounts of alcohol at a time, but I don't wanna give up on my principles just because "everyone else is doing this thing".
I have struggled with Alcohol
Abuse off and on honestly more on with problem drinking for 25 years. I have said or done embarrassing things I otherwise would have never done if I weren't drunk. Or being disoriented trying to walk home. At 50 it's really time for me to quit and not for a few months or half a year. I did try AA over a decade ago but found the way it's structured wasn't helpful and I didn't find much support or community in the meetings after a few months. That said there are a lot of groups and programs and various combined modalities around the world to help with Alcohol abuse. I know in America in the U.S. we face the same issues with Alcohol and or drug addiction.
I have issues with anxiety and stress and will be looking for a Therapist who deals with Addiction as a start.
Thank you for the videos, the honesty and tips. 🙂♥️
This was REALLY needed. The drinking culture in Australia is another level (probably similar to that in Ireland!), thanks so much ❤
Oh drinking culture in Ireland is bad. We drink for EVERYTHING. No exaggeration.
Same as the UK plus cocaine everywhere..
i grew up in Boston, you got nothin on us. lol. we have a thirst that could cast a shadow. actually that's not funny, it is not a good thing.
@@tekay44 Boston? USA? Australia and the UK crush you in drinking. You can look at the statistics, USA is not even remotely close to those countries.
same in germany haha (especially here in bavaria)
I've got biplar disorder and always found when I'm manic or depressed I start drinking. Got to the point I was having a bottle of vodka a night. After being an arsehole to my husband and going too far one time I woke up and realised id lose him if I didn't stop. Haven't had a drink since may now 🙂
I witnessed this in my mom. I wouldn’t call her an alcoholic, but she enjoys her nightly glass of Chardonnay. I only got worried when it started turning into a bottle. For a long time. I agonized whether to broach the subject as her child I don’t know depths of why she is drinking only the flat out. A few months ago, she went on a diet where she couldn’t drink alcohol. She’s happier and healthier. We fight less. I mean we still don’t see each other’s side always but who always agrees with their parents. Melanie, I think it’s a great step you’re taking. Although I believe alcohol can be handled in moderation, it’s hard to notice when it becomes a problem. I know as a daughter I am less worried when my mom doesn’t drink.
Oof, been there. When the intake starts to increase, it's really hard to decide as the "child" when do I say something? It's not fun to witness/be stuck in. *hugs*
True Story - I bought the book
Allen Carr's How to Control Alcohol....
Then I found someone had uploaded the audio to RUclips.
Here it is...
ruclips.net/video/lsTLkZ71ANA/видео.html
Its 8 hours long so I listened to it in 1/2 hour segments.
After 30 plus years of self abuse I stopped drinking at the 2 hour mark.
I couldn't believe how easy to was….. there was no will power involved with the method.
I'm done with it.
And I did it BEFORE the book arrived!
Thanks! I haven’t had a drink in 2 years and 7 months and I still want to wait a bit longer. Maybe 5 years as you :)
I just decided to go sober. I decided this many times but I feel like this video was a sign. I don't wanna live anymore and I am only 23. My mental state is very bad... I lost a lot of friends because of my problem and my girlfriend is not very happy either. I have lost many jobs and changed my living location thousands of times. Today is my day one of being sober. I feel anxious, I have nausea and I am very irritated. I went on RUclips and this video was recommended. I still haven't watched it. I am going to update this comment in a month and tell you if it worked.
(English is not my first language so sorry if I wasn't grammatically correct)
I just want you to know that I admire your decision and wish you the best! I hope you have people to talk to who support you :)
I'm so sorry you're going through so much right now. Be kind to yourself, you are strong
Good luck,you can achieve everything!
Annye, what a great decision. I also suggest finding a support net - friends/family how can support you being sober, and a therapist. It really makes a difference, talking to a professional.
@@eliskatesarova3104 where I live having a therapist is a luxury. And I have lost all my friends because of this problem. I only have my girlfriend and my dogs. She doesn't understand my struggle because she is sober.. I think this is on me.. I will struggle alone. Once I feel physically better I may search for A.A. group.. Thank you all for writing
That peer pressure is real.. I am around several recovering alcoholics in my family and I'm always in awe of how normalized drinking and even drinking too much is in some spaces. Thank you for talking about this!
I got chills when you said five years. you can do this. really.
omg THANK YOU for believing in me! xxx
There were 2 points for me in the same year. 1: I lost 4 hours. They're just blank. I was with family and safe but that scared me a lot. 2: I drank a bottle of wine alone in my flat. Went to sleep, had thrown up everywhere. I realised if something had happened to me, nobody would have known. I wouldn't drink for months and months and months, but when I did I'd ALWAYS binge. I've been sober 2 years, bar less than half a bottle of beer last winter, which I hated. I don't miss it. Thanks for sharing
Tomorrow will be my little anniversary - 6 years sober! Thank you for showing others that one can enjoy life without alcohol. I quit because I felt like I wanted to grab a glass of wine every time I was feeling miserable and/or depressed. My problems didn't magically go away right after I stopped drinking but now I know that alcohol is no medicine.
Still sober?
On the day of my birthday, August 3rd, I turned one year sober. Just like you, Melanie, my initial plan was to give it a year. I'm not pregnant, but your video was the sign I needed in order to newly commit. I'm quitting alcohol for life. ❤️
How are you getting on? Xx
@@AprilBamber Thank you for asking. I definitely had my ups and downs, but such trajectory has reassured me that sobriety is the way to go. No one said it was easy, but this is the healthiest and happiest I've ever been. Still going strong. 💕
You are gonna be a great mother, you already are like a big sister figure to me💕 I love your accepting attitude and self-awareness, it inspires me to be better
I WANT TO GIVE YOU SUCH A BIG HUG! Such a sweet comment!
Melanie Murphy Sending virtual hugs!!💗
The six months sober video really helped me. When I watched it, I realized that this is something I need to do, too. I've since vastly changed my relationship to alcohol, went without it for a while and now I can have one drink really easily and I usually don't even want more. But when I notice that I do, I reassess. Right now I am on another break and this time around, it's not a challenge anymore. Alcohol doesn't feel like something I need in my life anymore and that's one of the most freeing things I've ever experienced.
Completely agree with not breaking the promise you made to yourself!! It would be like letting yourself down and feeling weak.
Make it a part of who you are. “I’m the kind of person who is healthy/who doesn’t make bad decisions/who stays in control/whatever works for you.”
Makes it easier to stay clean.
Let me start by saying I live in California... I have been feeling this way about smoking weed. I smoke the way others casually drink. I take pride in the fact that people look at me and don't think I smoke weed as much as I do. I smoke every day when I am off work and on the weekends once my morning errands are done. While I have enjoyed the fun high moments over the past 10 years I am finding myself, now in my 30ies, really reflecting on what it has "given" me. I binge when I smoke, I am listless and avoid hobbies when I smoke. I know I use it as a crutch and an excuse. I want children with my husband and, while I hate to admit this, I worry that if I don't stop smoking the way I do, for reasons that are for me, that I won't for my child. That sentence makes me want to cry. I want to find the value and self worth in myself before I try to give it to a child. Watching you quite drinking has really made me look more internally as to why I smoke and if it is serving me anymore. Its so much of a habit now and one I don't really feel in control of. Thank you for creating a safe space where I can explore these thoughts and know (hope) that I won't be judged for them.
Hi I'm from Tx but lived in Seattle for about 7 years. I smoked before leaving Tx but def increased when I worked in cannabis field. I am not in my 2nd trimester, although my husband still smokes casually I use edible oil under my tongue, it's one of the only things that helps me eat and hold down food. I have miscarried once in past, I lost a bunch of weight due to not being able to eat or hold anything down. At that time I had quit cannabis all together, this time I decided to try things differently. I have personally found studies that support the occasional use for sickness and talked to other mamas. I am aware certain herbs create contractions/induce labor. I tend to believe cannabis is something women have been using forever...knowing the product/how it's grown, is important to me.
Hi Katya. I have been where you are. My weed use crept up on me, first it was a novelty, then it was monthly, weekly, daily, all day long. In the morning I would lean over and spark the spliff from the night before. Before a meal with friends, before a party, during the party, before leaving the house... I began to have amnesia and really scary psychosis-like episodes, yet I kept smoking. I toyed with the idea of stopping for such a long time, all whilst still smoking heavily and feeling more and more out of control, and ashamed about its hold on me. No one knew how much I was smoking because it was undeniable how much of an issue it had become. I’m amazed to say nowadays I don’t smoke. I dont seek it out, and it’s not part of my life. I never, ever thought that would happen. I moved to a different city and didn’t seek another source of supply and it just fizzled out. Once again, I can’t quite believe that given how much I used to smoke. I’m currently experiencing some of the early signs of what I went through with weed, with alcohol. So I’m making moves to turn away from that too, before it takes an insidious hold on me. If giving up weed is something you want to do, you will. Bit, by bit, it is possible. I wish you all the best and hope you can make yourself proud.
Alcoholism runs in my family as well, so I’ve always tried to be aware of how much I drank. I usually only have one glass whenever I drink. I also only drink socially now, instead of having a 4-6 pack of something stocked in my fridge. The good thing about covid for me is that I can go MONTHS without a single drink. I’ve noticed it’s helped my skin not breakout as much, which just gives me more of a reason to drink less now. (I turn 30 next month and still deal with acne.) So proud of you with your progress!
I quit alcohol 3 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. I also live in Ireland and know how difficult it can be to remain sober. My partner and I do a lot of booze free activities like Room Escapes, Bushcraft Courses, Volunteering at the Dogs Trust, Going out for dinner, cinema dates and travelling. Nothing good has ever come from consuming alcohol x
I’ve just turned 30 and today is my first day of giving up alcohol. I’m really worried about how hard it’s going to be but I really really want the pros of a sober life. I’ve set a goal of a year but Id like to give up for good. I watched your other video as well and both videos have given me hope and motivation. Thank you so much. Hope I can do this!
It’s been 2 years since you commented. I hope your sober journey went well! I’m 30 now and started 4 months ago.
✨ TIPS! FOR GOING SOBER! ✨
write your intentions for yourself, it's almost like a contract!/accountability. I do this for so many things. write down every single thing why you're doing it. even the small things like not having a hangover or saving money. it can really help to focus on the why when trying to stop doing something.
buy something to wear that can remind you. I bought a cheap pack of rings that I can wear if I go on a night out and in the idea that I can see it as a little reminder and can use to ground myself.
Get Excited!! New drinks! soft drinks! mocktails! you can get the fancy lemonade in the store instead of the boring basic one! I got a fancy rose and elderflower one and took that to a family barbecue!
for when people start asking why thats when it gets a bit harder. I recently thought about starting to prank the annoying ones and be like 'you can't tell anyone but I'm pregnant' so then they'd panic about asking me 😂 I have yet to try this out 😅
I think learning that you can just say I'm not drinking tonight without a reason or excuse is absolutely valid. if you feel like you need one, pick one before going out. I always feel weird having to lie or come up with one as that makes me more likely to backout of saying it, so maybe plan a reason ahead (even if it is a lie).
if you get bored, you can go home! you don't have to prove anything! if the vibe is bad because let's be honest some times a night out is only enjoyable because of the drinking the. it's okay to plan a good cosy night in as a back up plan if your not feeling the vibe!
I hope these help! these are from my previous sober days when I was around 18/19 and from new sober days after a tough relationship with alcohol. it'd be cool if others could add some tips in the replies? ❤️
Mocktails are so important imo! I like the novelty of craft cocktails so crafting mocktails brings me joy. My favorite around the holidays is cranberry juice, ginger ale and a squeeze of fresh lime juice.
I needed this video today. Thank you. My mother is a bad alcoholic.. it's eaten away at her brain and now my brother is going down the same track and his wife just served him separation papers because of it. Alcohol causes so much hurt and I needed this to learn how to help.
Congrats gal, very proud of you!!
I'm grateful to have you 🥰🙏🏼
I love that you show your drunk moments before you get serious. You have a great gift in being able to send that message in a way that is genuine and that more people need to hear
I'm a 21yo Swiss girl, "we drink" since 16 here. I think we definitely get caught up in drinking too soon, sometimes for no or bad reasons. I've been wanting to reduce alcohol for a while now, and your advices definitely helped making up my mind. It won't be easy but i'm writing this comment to "tell someone", it's my first baby step ! Thank you
Good luck! I absolutely know what you're talking about. In my country we can drink from 18, but of course I started when I was 16. Not heavy drinking, but started. Then I hit 18 and it was like I was unstoppable. Every night out, I had to drink, many times to black out. Now I'm 22 and I feel like I'm too old to drink! I have horrible hangovers in the morning, I drink less alcohol than I used to, but somehow feel worse, which is insane when I think about it.
Anyway, I believe in you 💜
I always appreciate these catch-ups. Your first video meant a lot to me, and this one is a great addiction to add to your journey. Thank you for sharing with us. It’s been amazing following you for the better part of a decade now. So many life chapters and changes we get to be a part of!
Congrats on 1 year, that is awesome, I am 1 month in myself. Thanks for sharing your story.
Proud of Melanie 💚💚💚💚 what an accomplishment/goal/inner work journey. Take the time to celebrate yourself. XX
Love you sharing content like this. I relate so much to the problem drinking and I’m just over 100 days sober too.
Congrats mel for being so long sober 😊 I went through a really tough time about 7yrs ago that led to me drinking to excess for roughly a year. I'm quite impulsive and reckless so that combined with everything going on at the time and drink got me in some terrible situations. My anxiety was awful & I would hate myself the next day but still go out drinking 5,6,7 days a wk. I recently realised that I got sexually abused during that time by a guy I wanted to be into, for almost 7 yrs I blamed myself for letting him get me black out drunk. I've thrown up, fallen up stairs, made a fool of myself etc. The only good thing to come out of it is I met my amazing partner and in a way we saved each other from that life. We still go on about 3 or 4 big nights out a year but its with different friends that just want to dance and have fun and our relationship with drink is so much better. My rule when I'm out is i mostly stick to singles, we go out later (8pm) not 5-6pm and I don't do shots etc.
I'm a very new subscriber but I find your personality so enjoyable to watch on screen... Also I struggle with a lot of the things you've been through... You're such an inspiration to me truly :) thank you! Have a lovely day!
Hi Melanie, thanks for being you ☺ I love binge watching your videos 👀 Your tips for drinking less are super helpful! I too find meaning in life through being responsible and having other goals. It's difficult but you made a great point about trusting yourself to see through the promises you make yourself.
Such a great video! Thank you for sharing. You are such a light!
So proud of you.
So proud of you Melanie!
I stopped drinking 5 years ago and I haven't looked back!
Best decision
Melanie, love! You make my life so much better, in so many ways, thank you!!!
You're going to be the best mom a children could want.♥️🌼🌞
The 6 month hit me hard. I watched that video and this one while having a drink. I never had a new years resolution, and after such a mad fucked up year we have had , I would love to try and be alcohol free for 2021 . Thank you Melanie ♡
Well done for all you have done. So many times I have tried to quit drinking but it really is engrained in social events all around us. I’m hoping to try so thank you for this. x
I love this and your content soooo so so much!!!! I quit drinking a while ago because of the same reasons.. i wasnt addicted, but it caused problems in my life. You list all of the reasons why the change is so positive! I appreciate you vocalizing this. We live in a world where people judge you for not drinking or doing drugs.. but we need to have the confidence to make the best decisions for ourselves no matter what.
Congrats!! Thank you so much for making this video.
Congratulations Melanie, you persevered and accomplished such a big thing, and handle this with such grace. My mom is six years sober and growing up with that has caused a lot of anxiety for me around drinking. The first year or two of her sobriety was hard to watch and hard to believe after a couple failed attempts, but this year we all kind of forgot her sobriety day (including my mom) because it’s just so normal now for her not to drink, which is amazing to be able to say. My step dad is also twenty-five years sober, and the two of them have a healthier relationship as a result. Meeting him was a big push for her to stop drinking, so I completely agree that surrounding yourself with people who are supportive is key. 💚💚💚 Thank you for being such a big advocate and talking about this, and encouraging people not just to follow what works for you, but to find what their healthy relationship with alcohol is.
15 months sober , tough going at the minute but watching this video reminds me why I started , not going to give up !!!!
Blooming brilliant! I love that there are more and more of us working towards normalising sobriety - and the challenges that come with it! I relate to everything in your story and I am so grateful to have a new found curiosity for life! Fab!
This was such a good video. I personally don’t struggle with drinking and am typically sober after university just by preference, and I feel really lucky to have not felt trapped by drinking culture (even though it can have an impact on social life for sure). But, I was really interested to see what your experience has been like since your first video speaking about this, and im really happy for you and that you’re feeling better :) I really, really loved your point about practicing active gratitude - I think it can apply to making any difficult change in life and I am most definitely going to keep that with me moving forward! sending love 💖
Hi Melanie, glad you are doing well!. My drinking was very similar to yours in my late teen/very early adult hood, and tailed off mid 20s. Im going through a dark period right now and have a few casual drinks lined up in the fridge. However i've decided to go sober for a month and when i do go back to the odd drink it will be alot less and alot less regular than it used to be. Its admirable that people like you share your stories as it helps motivate others. I've also noticed people who do these 12 month later type videos they look happier and healthier in the face. So i look forward to liberating myself and going out to pursue better ventures.
Melanie, I have watched your Six months sober video in December last year and it inspired me to do my own one year sober challenge. And so I've been, since January 1st! I really needed that, it felt like I was sinking in December 2019, drinking every single day, not really knowing how to cope or communicate without alcohol. It was hard in the first months to break the habit, it was hard celebrating birthdays or holidays without alcohol, it was hard coping with my feelings without numbing them with alcohol, but now I'm past that and it was the best decision, this year has been absolutely great for me! I'm actually getting my weekends back, no more hangover Saturdays and Sundays. If I haven't done that, I'm pretty sure I would be one of those who starts drinking at 10 AM during lockdown. My family are all drinkers and that's what I usually did with my friends, always going to the pub, so I have seen less of them, but it's a process. So yeah, just wanted to say thanks I guess. Hug! ❤️
Thanks for sharing this! I try to watch how much I am drinking, and these tips that you give reaffirm some of the approaches that I use in order to keep a check on how much I'm consuming. I feel that the part of this whole thing that has to do with confidence and feeling of self worth is pretty meaningful.
I’m so very proud of you, Melanie! I’m trying to do this with food/losing weight and your tips help with that too.
I was WAITING for this! Thank you from the bottom of my heart... and please keep spreading this message :) I still watch the previous video regularly, when I need to get myself back on track and remember why drinking is not so good idea for me... Definitely had my lowest moments too, where you wake up the next day trying to remember what happened, and how could these things even happened, that's not you... and the guilt and shame, oh god... you wish you could take it back, but you can't. I'm still not all alcohol free, but definitely better, also because of you and your honest words :)
So glad I ran across this! Two days sober and I was struggling tonight. 😚
Melanie, I found your original 6 month sober vid a while before I became sober myself and it truly resonated with me. Eventually after returning to it many times as well as Janet Devlin's videos, Madeleine Olivia, A Sober Girls Guide and more it finally stuck... I have now been sober for over two months and feeling stronger than I have in so long. Thank you for speaking out on this topic. The resources and discourse around alcohol/sobriety awareness are strengthening online and are seeeeeriously helpful to people like me. Your honesty and candour and openness is truly appreciated. x
Thank you so much for sharing your journey with sobriety! I’ve been mostly sober for the past several years. I have a very addictive personality and a family history of alcohol dependence, and so when I started drinking more regularly at university, I had a gut feeling that it would be a slippery slope for me if I didn’t cut it out of my life entirely. A glass became a bottle a little too easily! I feel so much better, physically and mentally, alcohol-free, but you are so right about the peer pressure! If I had a dollar for every “oh come on, it’s just one, lighten up!” even from well-intentioned friends and family. It’s so nice to see so many comments from people who are in the same boat!
You don’t understand how much your six month video helped me quit drinking, thank you again for being so honest about the whole experience!
Your videos on getting sober helped me finally admit that, alcoholic or not, I had a problem with alcohol and it was time to try going without. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for putting yourself out there and helping me finally admit I have a problem and do something about it 💜
I love you! Thank you for being brave and intelligent to share this valuable content with us all! Perfect! Love and Gratitude, Debbie
I like how you put effort to make people see if they have an alcohol problem, and in Irland there is this drinking culture and pressure to drink as I heard.
Let me tell you something, I am from Italy and we have the most amazing wine, red, white, rosé, prosecco, in my region Piemonte you can eat the best meat (grass feed) with a glass of Barolo (a very good and expensive red wine).
The problem I think is about quantity as you said, if you drink two glasses of wine in a week I don't think it is bad, it is you characher and your behavior that determine ad addiction to alcohol. Thank you 😘
The 6 months sober video was the first of yours I watched, and I have been tuning in to your channel ever since. I found it around the time I started very seriously thinking about quitting alcohol (I am not a heavy drinker as I have a bit of intolerance to it, but coming from a family of alcoholics, I also have addictive tendencies which make it so difficult to stop completely). At the time I read a book, The Naked Mind, and in it the author says "Alcohol is the only drug you have to justify *not* taking," which sums up the primary reason I and many people have such a difficult time overcoming the pressure from society and friends with respect to alcohol. And here we are, 6 months into quarantine and I have become relaxed about my drinking again. It dawned on me last weekend that this drinking, however little, is just not okay for my body and especially my mind... Anyway, thank you for your perfect timing Melanie.
I am so PROUD of you, for giving up alcohol and making videos about it. I think you do a great service by putting your reasons and the positive effects of quitting out there into the world. My whole life and my relationships with my family of origin have been so affected by alcohol and alcoholism. It is really sad, the damage it has caused! I grew up a traumatized kid in an alcoholic family, the effects of which I've had to work to overcome for decades (I'm in my 50s). So much therapy! The whole "alcoholic family system" screwed up everyone in my family, and I haven't talked to my parents and siblings in 11 years because they are still stuck in it, and I'm not, and they'd rather not deal with me. I know you're not an alcoholic, Melanie, but you have listed the problems that drinking brought to your life. It is such a wise decision to assess if it's making your life better or worse.
Myself, I do still drink occasionally, but it is pretty minimal. After growing up seeing my dad drunk so often, I don't like getting drunk and being out of control. It doesn't appeal to me beyond the pleasure of one drink here or there. There is also alcoholism on my husband's side as well, so we always told our kids that they just might genetically be predisposed to alcoholism. That seems to be the case with one of my kids, who ended up giving up alcohol after having several really bad years with blackouts and breaking a bone. I think your future family will be better off not having to deal with any of your negative side effects of drinking! 💚
Love that you included tips on how to cut down as well! Almost exactly a year ago I also had a very rough relationship with alcohol and had one particularly awful/traumatic night. Luckily I got much better after that night (if I hadn’t I would have decided to cut out alcohol altogether, but the bad night sort of snapped me out of it). In hindsight I actually used some of these tips back then: not keeping hard liquor in the house, trying to build up healthier replacement habits, etc. However, especially after quarantine and such, I’m realizing I want to start really cutting down so my relationship with alcohol doesn’t get bad again, but I also don’t want to completely cut it out if I don’t have to. Anyway, thank you for this!
I can't tell you how much watching this has helped my mindset. I decided to quit a few months ago but have had a couple of slip ups. I feel more confident now after hearing your story and advice/tips.
dont know if ive already commented this but i come back to these videos often to help keep me motivated to stay alcohol free. anyway you look like you are glowing from the inside. whatever youre doing dont stop
I watched this as someone who doesn't have an alcohol problem but it touched me nervertheless! I feel like a lot of these principles can aid anyone in pursuing a healthier life in whatever form, as it takes both discipline and compassion to care for yourself and that's not easy. I'm working on caring for myself better and feeling intrisically gratified as you were saying. For example I sometimes struggle with body image and striking a balance between making healthy choices and being restrictive/self-loathing, as well as doing it out of love for my body. Also I sometimes struggle with feeling as though I'm being productive at school or achieving my potential. Everyhting you talked about helps so much and the relationship you demonstrate having with yourself honestly inspires me so much, so thank you
I’ve been sober since January now and I’ve been noticing such an improvement in my mental and general health (so have the people around me). I’m not ready to start again after one year and hearing you talk about trying to hit the five year mark really inspired me.
Also, I’m so happy that everyone is, again, sharing their stories and struggles. If you’re reading this, I’m proud of you for doing what’s within your capabilities and I wish you all the best. You’ll never be alone in this. ♥️
I really respect your decision especially when it was such a big part of your social life. I just want to say the flip side to telling people and gaining accountability from them is that our brains are wired that once you say an intention out loud we get the dopamine or feedback we wanted and therefore may not follow through (or we may, but not for long). Obviously this wasnt the case for you which is amazing but it has definitely been my own experience of quitting something because I had already gushed about the plans and received praise for it! Lots of research about this too which is so interesting.
i’m starting a 30 days without alcohol challenge today! thank you for sharing your journey. i also am not an alcoholic but deal with binge drinking and it has negatively impacted my weight loss journey. appreciate your openness!
AA is super nice to just talk about drinking with other people. I also don’t consider myself an alcoholic but the community is a game changer
So glad you're finding it easier and forgetting to count the days! I just celebrated 4 years sober and it's just such a normal part of my life now that I don't think much about it. 💓 I was also the "gobshite idiot moron" drinker and constantly injured myself. Eventually I vomited in my sleep which was a bit of a wake up call, tried to 'cut down', then broke my leg and decided I needed help. It was so difficult but it saved my life.
I’ve been drowning in RUclips videos/podcasts/blogs etc while I start from day zero yet again. This video has been the absolute best, it feels real ❤ Thank you, hope you’re okay x
Both me and my boyfriend had a bad relationship with alcohol, being in uni we used to be out 5 days a week to a point I rarely made it to my classes. We both quit alcohol completely in January, haven't had a drop since then and it's incredible how much its changed our relationship together for the better. I really wish there was more awareness out there for alcohol, seems like no one cares about the effects it can have and especially in the UK its so common to start drinking at an early age. I used to feel so miserable after a night heavy drinking, and I haven't felt this good about myself in years! So proud of you for making it this far, all the best for the next five years! ❤
i’ve always tried to stay away from alcohol and drugs as i have severe mental illness and i don’t want to find solace in it. i’m so proud of u mel, you’ve done so well, i’m glad i could watch your journey ❤️
This video - and all these lovely comments - make me feel not so alone with my decision. I went off the booze right after Paddy's Day this year (I know it's only been a little while but I'm still so proud). My drinking habbits during my university times were just insane. And even back then I sometimes took like a week or a month off alcohol. Some people were so judgemental and even tried bullying me into having just one. Originally I was planning on drinking again in September but I might just stay off it for w little while longer. I want to develop a healthy relationship with it and actually enjoy what I'm drinking. I like whisky so much and a good beer is something I really sometimes miss. But I can't be 100% sure atm that I won't fall back into old habbits. Thank you so much, Melanie for sharing this with us and providing a platform. It helps so much,
Hi Melanie the whole reason I found you on social media last year was by typing "sober" into youtube. I really resonated with your video and have been following along on your journey ever since! Alcohol was taking the shine from my life and really making me mentally and physically unhealthy. Happily 116 days sober now after lots of stops and starts. Found that lockdown was a good time (read: it is always a good time) to cut alcohol out of my life since there were no social events and drinking at home was making me miserable. Thanks so much for sharing your story and I live up in Belfast if you're ever visiting up north :) xx
when you first mentioned it last year I had recently experience a few episodes of binge drinking/black outs and I knew it was becoming a problem. I tried everything and anything to try to moderate but I went through so many more bad nights, twisting my ankle (repeatedly in one night but nobody realised because they thought I was falling over because I was so drunk), bruises and losing my phone, panic attacks, having to have friends look after me, a lot of crying. my first drinking out after lockdown ended up with my 23 year old self, crying and being picked up by my grandparents at 11pm after a lunch out with friends somehow ended up in a bar. I decided to go sober after that and the second time I'd gone out after lockdown, though not blackout drunk and a lot more moderate, I was pressured into drinking and felt so ashamed of myself when I'd said I wasn't going to and my anxiety was still just as bad even if I could remember what had happened, especially when it was all the very out of character things I did (especially situations that I'd have avoided because I knew it'd trigger anxiety but didn't because I was drunk confident)
I'm now 22 days sober and much HAPPIER! I haven't been out since yet but I feel a lot stronger in my decision now and like I can tell people why without feeling ashamed or embarrassed by it. I will be doing the similar thing of reviewing it when I feel like I've worked on with my unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but also realised it was holding me back in friendships, my mental health, processing and healing from the bad nights of alcohol beause I just created new ones. I know spend so much more time putting the energy I wasted worrying about my drinking and any anxiety/bad experiences after nights out, into things I want to do but never got round to doing! Big love to anyone struggling with this right now! ❤️
I stopped drinking years ago. when it comes to the peer pressure sometimes when people ask me why I don't drink, I like to turn it around to them and ask well why DO you drink? it either shuts them up or makes for an interesting conversation starter about the normalization of alcohol consumption!
I really needed this video. I’ve been watching you for a long time because I identify with you as a kind of chaotic, bisexual writer with a huge focus on overall balance in both mental and physical health. But like, in a human and manageable way. We seem to have a similar innate intuition and wisdom from observing others and try to overcome things with intense introspection and self-improvement. But when you decided to quit cold turkey I was skeptical, but it’s because I have a very similar relationship to alcohol as you did. It felt like something that wasn’t a big deal, it’s just a bit of fun. But I’ve had really dark periods of my life because of my attachment to it. I’m not an “alcoholic” because I don’t have withdrawals, but I’m an alcoholic because it’s affected my life so much. I’ve been recognizing, now that I’ve turned 25, that I don’t want to be this crazy manic girl anymore, and it’s time to break out of these habits, wherever the compulsion really comes from. I’ve gotten myself Less (the free mindfulness app for tracking drinking, which I highly recommend), the Rocketbook Panda Planner for holding myself accountable, but I just couldn’t convince myself to take the last step and commit. I just went and ordered a few non-alcoholic options for myself. Time to get to work. Thanks again for sharing your struggles candidly, Melanie! You’re like the voice of the female role model I’ve never had.
Huge achievement Melanie you should feel incredibly proud
I’m in the beginning of my journey and hearing your raw perspective has helped me.
The culture in my country (New Zealand) is a big drinking culture and I’m coming into summer seasons.. which is a heavy drinking season..
I’ve decided to quit because it takes a toll on my mental health (even just one glass) and also I have a really bad relationship with alcohol.
Your story is quite similar and this brings me hope ❤️
Thank you for sharing this 💕 the 27th will be one month since my last alcoholic drink 💫 can’t wait to have more months under my belt!
This video really reassured my decision to stay sober for most likely the rest of my life. I am only 20 and yet I've been sober for over 2 years now, sadly I started drinking at the very young age of 12 influenced by older friends who weren't the best for me and after a scary trip to the ER in 2018 and too many horrible hangovers and regrettable mistake I decided to completely stop. I have a very addictive personality and I feared it becoming a more serious problem, especially since addiction runs in my family already, and honestly SO glad I made that decision. These past 2 years have been great and I realized I don't miss alcohol at all and in all truth my life and mental health have reaped all the benefits 💕 SO worth it!! Thank you for this educational and inspiring video!
A very useful video, you've hit the nail on the head. It seems like I cant drink nowadays without blacking out after a binge session, occasionally a few low key pints at the pub and I'll feel like I kinda dodged a bullet the next day. But the anxiety and paranoia I'd feel for days and sometimes weeks after especially from blacking out is just debilitating.
I appreciate you sharing. I'm a month and a half off heavy dependency on alcohol. I don't think I'd be considered an alcoholic, but it definitely wasn't healthy. Since then I've started getting to know myself again. Who I am, what I want, what makes me happy, what makes me sad. I feel so much more connected to myself. It's nice to hear a similar story.
Truly love your channel, it's like a comforting little place in the crazy place that is the internet xD But yes, as a student myself who doesn't drink for religious reasons, it can be difficult and isolating when you're surrounded with friends who like to regularly go on nights out drinking.
Just came across this video as I’m starting not to drink alcohol. Im scared and this video really helped. I’m from Scotland and like Ireland it’s incredibly difficult not to take at least one. Starting with a small milestone of 1 month. Thank you for the positive outlook in your video. It’s gave me confidence.
My boyfriend is like this and it really worries me, but I feel like until he realises it himself, it'll never get better. I've commented, but as with any mental health issue, the person has to want the help first, but I really struggle with worrying about his drinking. We're Scottish, so in the same boat as you being Irish, everyone loves a drink...! Well done to you for this past year or so and I shall raise a soft drink to your next 5 years! X
I am going on 2 months! Thank you for this amazing video! Thank you for making me feel less alone.
I’ve been pretty much sober the entire time the US has been in lockdown, so since about March. There were a few times that I was tempted to just get shit-faced but I fought off those thoughts. My mom died two years ago of a painful battle with cancer and the being alone and missing her made me just want to drink to forget abut it all.
But I’m proud of myself for not surrendering. And I am VERY proud of you. ❤️
I think I might've shared this on your last one as well, but never mind. I, too, have alcoholism on both sides of the family, which I hadn't consciously thought about until you said it just now. My dad was an alcoholic but gave it up when I was little (sober since! 20 odd years!).
I totally feel you with not having limitations when it comes to eating what's available and all that. I do think I have an addictive personality. I never started drinking, and videos like this reinforce that decision. It's so much easier if you just never started. I respect you so much for being able to stick by your decision despite the fact that you do miss it. I don't have to miss red wine with Italian food or feel tempted in certain situations. I have, however, felt the peer pressure, and just like, you know, regular curiousity, and so I find it so important to remember WHY. For me it's unnecessary. I know drinking won't be worth it, won't be worth the risk. I don't need that added complication for my mental health, or health in general. I wish choosing not to drink was more accepted in our society.
(Sidenote: Several of my friends are Muslim. Hanging out with them it feels like not drinking is normal. You can still be a party animal, like going out, like eating out and all that, without having considered alcohol as part of it.)
Thank you so much for that video and sharing your experience with us. I really needed that. I'm in the process to cut back on alcohol and all the advices you're talked about give me so much to think about. So thank you
I must admit that your plan to stop drinking seemed such a struggle at first that I doubted you would last a year. I now have an unreasonable pride in your success, despite all the hard work being yours, and I just bumbled through another year not drinking. I loved this video, it was so life affirming. 😊
Love you Mel, thank you for sharing this!