Why I won’t get botox or filler & society's OBSESSION with looking 22 forever.
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- Опубликовано: 28 май 2024
- Are Gen Z ageing faster than millennials? Has this contributed to the rise in use of injectables? Are the risks of botox and filler worth it to YOU? Let me know! And check out my sponsor betterhelp.com/murphy for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp, you'll get matched with a therapist who will listen and will help you!
My current BetterHelp therapist has been incredibly supportive in my journey with BDD...working in this industry can make it very hard to ignore those voices and professional support has been a Godsend.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - 02:09 why millennials look younger than previous generations
02:09 - 04:45 Gen Z & the normalisation of injectables
04:45 - 07:08 temptation, & why injectables aint evil
07:08 - 10:00 how I've noticed myself aging (without wrinkles)
10:00 - 11:56 THERAPY GOOD! (ad)
11:56 - 12:35 what botox/filler actually do
12:35 - 12:40 reasons why I will not get botox/filler
12:40 - 13:45 won't address my skin concerns
13:45 - 15:04 body dysmorphic disorder / BDD in injectors risk
15:04 - 16:02 risk of becoming addicted
16:02 - 16:43 might be a step back for me
16:43 - 18:10 the COST
18:10 - 19:05 the old age tiktok filter
19:05 - 20:03 I like being able to make my expressions
20:03 - 20:33 these are still so NEW
20:33 - 30:20 I don't accept the risks
30:20 - 31:50 I don't think I'd know when I'd achieved my 'goal'
31:50 - 33:13 I don't want it to distract people while we talk lol
33:13 - 34:39 we will never be this young again xx
Follow me on INSTAGRAM: melaniiemurphy...
ageing is a privilege denied to many
This comment is the best one I have ever seen on RUclips!
❤️❤️❤️ devastatingly true xxx
So true 😢 🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉
yes!!!!!
I am sick with cancer and i 100% agree.
i’ve never been more glad to have been too poor to afford something i thought i wanted a few years ago.
Yup same I’m 23 never had anything done cuz I could never afford it or justify the cost
Same, I used to want so many things, now as I’ve aged I’ve lost the fat in my face and the only things I’m not a fan of aren’t really fixable with surgery, eyes a bit too close together, and sparse brows. Like I have wanted my jaw looking different, bucal fat removal, brow lift, upper blepheroplasty but now if I try and imitate those things by pulling my skin with my fingers I feel like I just look like someone else, not necessarily any better so like what’s the point. I mean blepheroplasty might be a thing later in my life as my family end up having skin overhanging their eyes a bit but probably only if it’s severe or limits my vision
Oh also Jae pain maybe Botox for that but like medically necessary stuff, for me it’s not worth the potential risks and unknowns
Omg same
So glad I watched this video, we're not always aware of the "bad" of these procedures, we only see everyone looking amazing who uses it.
A heartfelt thank you for making this video! ❤
I hate the narrative 'each to their own' like no sorry, we're normalising the use of fillers, botox etc to such an insane level that it's completely changed our perception of a naturally aging face. Not to mention how bad some of these treatments are for our health! Botox basically causing botulism on a small scale to your facial muscles to paralyse them 😂 how f'd up is that?Wear clothes that you love/makeup/no makeup whatever...but this shit is starting to get scary. It's hard to watch ourselves aging, especially as women, but if we all start doing this shit we've lost as society.
One day, people will look back at this as madness, just like we now look back at foot binding / bella donna in your eyes / too tight corsets etc.
THANK YOU! Loads of people dismiss it as if it's some kind of feminist act for a woman to "do what she wants with her body", when the most likely reason she's doing it in the first place is because of misogynistic perceptions of older women
Omg THISS SOMEONE SAID IT THANK YOU 😭
To each their own
I've been trying to say this for yearss but people kept parroting the same "women can do whatever they want." Do people not realize that if we normalize this, what it's going to do to women, especially younger girls, to the beauty standards and to society as a whole years down the line? Some people are finally starting to realize this but I feel like it's already too late
It’s so disappointing when RUclipsrs accept sponsorships from better help. I encourage you to actually research this company
For real.
No one does the research. It's a horrible company.
Why ? What’s wrong with them? 👀
@@MissAngelaiz type in “better help bad reviews” and look them up. They’ve had a bad reputation ever since they’ve been created for being overpriced, unhelpful, hiring creepy therapists, missing appointments, poor communication, and more.
@@MissAngelaiz sell your data, the therapists arent certified, therapists ghost and switch up on you, theres no real doctor patient confidentiality
A zilennial here... It took losing my elder brother, otherwise healthy, to a rare sarcoma within 6 weeks to stop obsessing over appearances. He was only 28 and just a wonderful person. So now I can't relate to anyone frustrated about changes in their face and body.
Aging? Great, what a wonderful gift for being alive long enough.
Love the video, thank you for what you do!
I see what you mean.
I’m so sorry for your loss. May your brother rest in peace💔❤️
Exactly. I’ve lost so many young friends in their teens, twenties, and thirties. Two of whom I was extremely close with. It’s devastating losing anyone, especially someone who should have so much longer to live. I try to explain this to people when they look at me sideways for loving my gray hairs and accepting my wrinkles and loose skin, etc.
I’m so sorry for your loss for the loss of your brother ❤❤
Exactly… i’m sorry for your loss ❤
Same for me. Lost my sister last year , she lost everything from cancer including her mobility. She said before cancer she would complain about trivial things like her nose but after losing everything from cancer , she wished she never complained about how she looked. 😢
Every time I get down about looking my age I just remind myself that I have never looked at a woman older than me and thought they looked bad because of their age. So if I don't think other women look bad because they look older, why should I think that about myself? This was a great video Melanie! We owe it to ourselves to enjoy all the stages of life to the fullest.
100% agree. I actually sometime look at people having had botox/filler and think that they look older than their age. It's ironic really.
Yes this is how I think about it too. I have always looked at the women who look beautiful in their 40s, 50s, 60s and thought they look beautiful, graceful, and handsome. There’s a handsomeness that comes to women who age naturally. They look their age, and they look good in it. I don’t want to look 20 now that I’m 31. I’m a mom of two, I don’t need or really want to look like I’m still going through college. I hope I look like a 30 year old who looks good for a 30 year old.
@@niamhcampbell87 It’s amusing that you had to tell everyone that you are very attractive and everyone is just *so jealous* of you because of it. That’s narcissism and delusion, girl. No one is checking for you. No one cares. We are all on our own journey and I promise you that the vast majority of people you encounter will not even remember you or find themselves so struck by your “beauty” that they go home and ruminate about you and feel envious. You just have no self awareness. I am laughing so hard at your comment. 😂
That is a good point.
Whoever said mid 40s is a liar. Thats ridiculous. You look so youthful. And that doesn’t mean any certain age. Just youthful and happy.
lol this comment has mixed vibes.
Really respect you for making this video, Melanie. We need more examples of women who are aging naturally (and killing it!) - it gives us something to aspire to rather than trying to achieve the impossible task of forever looking like we’re in our early 20s.
We do, and it's great! though I also think she's an example of someone who is aging quite slowly - I assume she got into the sunscreen quite early - I'm younger and I think I look much older!
@@sarh23she lives in Ireland so less uv overall
Tbf i dont think it’s impossible to look like you r in ur early 20s or just look young technically until your like 40 with botox and stuff. But yea after you gotta accept some aging changes I would say. Its okay to age obv, but at the same time I see a lot pro aging people in denial on the reality of what happens. Like if ur whole career is based on appearance you r 100 percent gonna take a hit. U can’t force people to want to see if you don’t look as attractive. And your whole brand is ur attractiveness. Ofc there is always a niche but the markets r just smaller if you know what i mean. Ofc there r attractive people at every age group until like 60. But they all do treatments and such to look better. Or they just lie to your face. In a world where you literally compare yourself to everyone. Its literally only gonna become more prevalent. I don’t know if its a good thjng or bad thing really, but its happening
@@dencentbeatz794 I grew up in Ireland and live in and equally low UV part of the UK now... I don't look as young as her and I'm younger
@@sarh23she is not 70 she is just in her 30’s jeez
As someone who was ""model beautiful "" in their early twenties, it has taken a while to find in me the acceptance that this is sailing away. Especially when people that have known me since I was sixteen years old (twenty years ago) mention casually how beautiful I "used to be". I almost got into the botox madness. What helped me escape that madness was indeed the mental math, how much money this would cost in the long run, and I decided if I am put in an upkeep process, I want it to be for my house and my passport, not my face. The good news is I still like what I see in the mirror, not because she is beautiful but because she's me, and every scar and sag reminds me of all the trips that brought her here.
That’s so cruel of people to say “ how beautiful u used to be “ wow some people just are cruel .
If you were once considered model beautiful you likely have excellent bone structure, a wide palate, and nice eyes. Nature doesn't really erode those until a person is very old. Just look at how beautiful the original super models still look.
I am sorry you have had such awful comments from people. ❤
I liked Sharon Stone’s take on this, that we don’t stop being hot, we just don’t look vulnerable anymore in the way that appeals to a toxic gaze.
I can relate to FAMILY MEMBERS mentionning how beautiful you used to be 😢 very painful to hear
@@carlybeckerman7053 wow, that is an amazing take. I 100% agree with that.
My mom passed at the age of 32. Aging is such a privilege. This was a very thoughtful video and one more reason why I've followed you for years
Also vaping! Millennials had very low nicotine use, then Gen Z rates made it spike. So bad for skin.
I feel like millennials smoked a shit ton. Especially during the era of 07-2013 . Older gen z was very anti cigs imo, we were just obsessed with weed lol, young gen z though big vaping problem. Im 26, vaping didn’t become big till around 2016 era we were entering into college by then
It's definitelly the over-vaping. Nicotine is a stimulant, so similar to coffee it can be hard on your heart and vasculature if you're over doing it. I like coffee and enjoyed many energy drinks as a millenial in my 20s. I've cut back on energy drinks tho. Personally I don't regularly smoke or drink alcohol. If I consume cannabis it's as edibles. But i was raised to be wary of cigarettes. I had 2 uncles who smoked (older gen X) and never liked the smell. I also tolk swimming lessons and did choir in school, so protecting your lungs and throat for singing was more important to me than fitting in with anyone smoking.
Also, millennials drinks and continues to drink more than gen z. Alcohol rapidly ages you from the inside out. All generations have their fits about them.
@@Daydreamerr13data shows otherwise - Millennials have the lowest rates of nicotine consumption. They had other issues like alcohol but the amount of Millennials that became almost sober in their 30s is also higher than past generations (can’t compare Gen Z and Alpha on that one).
Blue light
I've also heard that not being able to properly emote on the face causes the brain to not feel emotion in the same way bc a lot of the way we process emotion is how we express it on our face. It can supposedly cause more apathy and lack of touch with one's self/others. I thought that was interesting
I've read that too!
that's so interesting!
That's why they say smiling when you are sad does actually make you feel happier.
Yes and I also read somewhere that the loss of emotional expression in your face which you get from Botox in fact decreases your attractiveness more than the wrinkles. Facial expressions are a part of our attractiveness, a genuine smile is so youthful and attractive, and all these intense Botox faces have an expression that is just not that „likeable“ or charming. Rather have smile lines than no real smile. I am 32 and also don’t have resting wrinkles and barely any dynamic wrinkles, and I think I won’t get Botox because I want to keep that natural charm. Aging is a privilege and if you are doing sports and being healthy you will look attractive even as you age.
I feel great after I get Botox in my frown lines. I feel so zen, like I’m constantly sitting on top of a mountain meditating 🧘♀️
One of my favourite images in my head is of an old artsy woman with long grey hair, maybe a white streak in the front. With wrinkles on her face from laughing and smiling and following her bliss. And wearing coveralls everywhere. Tending to her garden, painting in her workshop. That's who I want to be! Embrace aging! It's beautiful!
Yes couldn't have said it better
Surrounded by children and grandchildren. ☺️
You stole my thoughts
This made me smile
Yes!! My vision is of this with long silver hair wearing shawls covered in beads, surrounded by crystals on shelves, pictures of my family all over my fridge, rifling through my pantry of ingredients ready to make a delicious meal in a way only grandmas can make
The deeper problem here is: why are we so obsessed with looking young? Why does our society put so much importance on what we look like? There are so many beautiful things about us humans that matter so much more than our appearance. Loved this video and how you made it, Melanie! 🧡
It's my personal guess,but i believe people feel irrelevant,unimportant if they don't look youthful,because basically everything is cattered to kids and young adults.
In some countries you're also treated differently if you look or ARE older than 25 (roughly).
It's all centered around fertility and what sells but beyond that, it's weird to me that there is shame associated with aging instead of respect.
on a societal level, absolutely, we need to embrace people at all stages of life, and focus on health from the inside rather than cosmetic fixes from the outside. on a personal level, though, i find myself grieving the beginning of the aging process because I feel like i missed my youth due to various physical/mental health reasons and i was hoping i might one day experience what i was supposed to look and feel like if I had grown up healthily and get a do-over for my twenties... but now it seems like even if i do become fit and strong and pain-free, I'm never gonna know what that would've felt like at an earlier age (as in, minus the physical wear and tear that people typically start to complain about in their thirties). and that kinda sucks, and I'm having a hard time accepting my aging because of it
Exactly! And also why are men deemed more acceptable to age naturally and 'men get more attractive with age'?!!!
@@tattlevixen2581 because men created the system, men told women they need to stay young and fuckable forever or their worthless. The male gaze rules over western culture women grow up believing their worth comes from appearance unlike men who can find worth in achievements, personal growth, who they are etc. it was a system created to push women down for the benefit of men.
Thank you for talking about this. I personally think not only is Botox damaging to society and particularly young women but also young men who have an unrealistic expectation of the aging experience for women. I also believe using filters on pictures is damaging and to a lesser extent overuse of makeup. I’m a 40 year old woman living in Orange County California where the use of Botox is commonplace. I don’t dye my hair, I don’t wear makeup or use Botox/fillers. I’m raising two young boys and I plan to show them the natural aging process of a woman🤷🏻♀️
good for you, especially given you're surrounded by people giving into these ridiculous standards
Totally agree.
I have seen people who got botox or fillers and their eyes are droppy or smaller now, they have nerve damage, etc. It has happened and I always think that as much as I can try, there is NO way to insure this won't happen to me so I can't risk it. Otherwise if I do, and something happens, facial necrosis, nerve damage, droppy eyes, blocked lymph node that can't drain properly... there's too many variables and I'd be mad at myself for forever if I ended up fucking up my health or face in the pursuit if beauty. 😢
So true. I am 40 and look same age as my 5 years younger boyfriend, but he still expects for me to look and be younger 🤦🤦
Love this ❤
Fillers make everyone look absolutely ridiculous. Whoever got the masses to believe they look good with them belongs in the con-man(or woman) hall of fame. People....YOUR LIPS ARE PERFECTLY FINE!!!!
Yes! In movement it looks odd, ESPECIALLY if you have facial asymmetry they are trying to 'correct' it will never look right. Besides, I don't know a single person who has a perfectly symmetrical face or body. Kylie has one side of her lip that pulls up when she speaks and now it's wayyyyy more obvious in videos when speaking. It's a shame, but yeah the pursuit of perfection will always lead to a dead end. Hopefully not literal death, but that happens too. All those poor people who've died from plastic surgery or the BBL craze that is so dangerous. It's all awful. 😢
Extremely well put. 🙌🏻
@@OsloTime😊
Absolutely not the case. Fillers done in moderation are very subtle and you can’t notice them. You’re only focusing on those who had too much or had it badly done.
@@KGG2if you can't notice them, you didn't need them in the first place lol
I don’t know if it’s because I’m still too young but I am still at a point where I think I get prettier every year (maybe also because I get happier every year) so I just assumed that would continue until I die :D I also think s lot of (healthy) older women are absolutely stunning! I am somehow not really afraid of aging. I’m 31
Why that addition of „healthy“? How is health automatically linked to looking attractive? Serious question. I find that stance problematic on many levels.
@@kerosenequeen1076 because a lot of people with unhealthy lifestyles dont look radiant. a lot of my friends are heavy drinkers, smokers and take drugs and they skin in dull and grey and they lack radiance. a happy person with a healthy lifestyle looks the most atractive to me, regardless of age.
@@kerosenequeen1076 What are you thinking about? What would make it problematic?
I’m almost 45 (🫣) and my early 30s were the BEST!
I looked and felt great and I lost all the “stupid” of my youth. It’s the best time of your life so enjoy it!
31 is a great age! 🎉
@@lemmings6516 Because there are disabled people, people with chronic illnesses,… who would all be excluded from the possibility of being attractive.
You look younger than 35. I’ve never had anything done and I just turned 48. A good skincare routine and eating right makes a big difference. Genetics is also always part of it ❤️
I’m 36 and I get told I look like I can be 21. I think she looks amazing. She looks so much younger for her age. I use retinol and sunscreen and that’s as far as I’ll go. Maybe red light therapy but I don’t think I’ll be injecting anything
I got terrible genetics
@@Bunny11344 You’re like me then but without the retinol. I get mistaken for 29 - 32
@@madmagdelenait's fine, as long as you live a healthy life, that's what matters at the end of the day.
Not really. I guessed she is 32. however I would have believed 28 either but not less. The eye area always gives it away if you look closely and the overall fullness of the skin itself in the face. No surgery is able to fix that.
Kind of unrelated but lil update- in your new years resolution video I said I wanted to push 200kg on the leg press by the end of February and I met my goal last week!!
Congrats!!
@@OatCakes101 thank you!
Hell yeah! 💪 Congrats :)
@@criistinafl thank you 😊
Congratulations 🎉
I recently started watching Sex and the City again. I'll be 32 this year and I was soooo happy to see that Carrie from the show, who is also supposed to be 32 when the show started has wrinkles around her eyes and a frowning line. I was like waw, I thought these women were beautiful and never saw their wrinkles, but now that I'm aging I'm getting hyper fixated on these details (on myself) and it was a relief to see on others around my age too. 🙌🏼🙌🏼
Two things I do want to get done in all honestly are:
1) laser/ dermapen for my face
2) eyebrow pigment (powder version) as I've lost a lot of my eyebrows unfortunately
It’s funny when I watched the show in my 20s I never paid attention to Carrie having wrinkles. Now that I’m 44 I watch the reruns and I notice it.
ugh my eyebrows thinning too. i might get pigmentation or tattoo because i hate filling them w makeup lol
Also in my 30s and I considered chemical peeling cause my acne scarring is a serious problem… but lack of money meant I never was able to afford socials and over the years most of it went away with skincare. I have hormonal acne so I’ll never truly get rid of it, I just made peace with my not freckles.
I rewatched Ugly Betty, every one had textured skin !!!!
Crazy how we got used to filters, and light rings etc !
Carrie was a smoker. It would have been weird if she DIDN'T have wrinkles, to be honest.
I just turned 30 and gave up social media several yeara ago. It's amazing to feel free from these beauty trends. I will never do botox or filler. I am so glad I didn't grow up with that pressure. I do sometimes feel the temptation when I see signs of aging in myself, I could never change my face though. I have a little girl and I want her to see me aging gracefully and not fighting it.
At 30 you still look good. Shit starts going down fast after 35. i was you - you will change your mind
@KGG2 I looked amazing up until I hit 35 and then I literally changed overnight sometime that year. It was shocking. Once I hit 40 the aging started happening faster. I'm 42 this year and the jowels have shown up. Everyone is focus on wrinkles but it's the jowels, thinning eyelids, and loss of bone mass in your face, that get you!
@@madmagdelena I have heard that jowls can seemingly happen overnight once you hit a certain age. I know motherhood had sped up my signs of aging.
@@KGG2For some. Or better said, for you. It's not a rule.
Don’t listen to the people replying to you! It’s a reflection of there insecurities not you. My mother is in her 50 and looks amazing, yes she has aged because she has lived, she never scorned aging because she was in research and development for cancer treatments and sees every birthday as a blessing not everyone gets. Both my grandmothers aged BEAUTIFULLY, mostly because of eating well staying active and sunscreen + sunshine (vitamin D is underrated). sure your face changes that’s being human your body isn’t static it’s constantly changing but that’s what makes it beautiful. As a former little girl who was surrounded by naturally aging women it really positively impacted my view on aging. I’m early 20s and already have a few grey hairs popping up (greying early is common in my family) and I’m actually excited to see every little silver strand. I’m very expressive and definitely starting to see the ghosts of smile lines and it makes me happy that I’ve smiled so much the joy is getting etched into my face. Keep aging beautifully! You are a work of art every line and colour is captivating and every blemish or line tells part of your story, spoken by an artist who loves the unique beauty of people!
Honestly, the only reason I've never gotten anything is because I'm poor. Otherwise, I would have done something by now. But when I see pics like Kylie Jenners face, and especially after seeing this video, I think it's a blessing I couldn't afford it. People tell me I look younger for my age. But I can see I'm aging. I notice EVERYTHING about my face/body & hair as I age. I never used to be this obsessed, but once you hit your thirties and your face actually starts to change faster and drastically, it's very scary to not recognize yourself. I really hate the fact we have to grow old, and if I'm being honest, I'm not looking forward to a granny face. But this is life, we can't run from it, it's inevitable, and I'd rather spend my time working on my mental health and learning to love a brand new face every coming year, then waste years & money fighting the inevitable. And it's extra dumb because it just end up making you look older.
SAME, same to everything you said. I know aging its part of life, but no, im not mentally prepared to see myself like this. Not right now...
This, I am so scared of growing old, not because I am afraid of who I will become, but because I am afraid of how I'll be treated. I see so many women around me being treated poorly as soon as some signs of aging show. I don't want to be dismissed at work, or disregarded.
The only thing about aging thats scares me, is the diseases and illnesses.
But i get you.
I relate to this so much but I have to say, judging by your RUclips photo you are GORGEOUS!
Ironically there was an ad for Botox when I started watching
I got it too
I've started to get those all the time now and they make me really uncomfortable, especially since I'm still a teenager and the women in the add look EXTREMELY young, like around my age, if not just a little bit olded
Ugh I get them nonstop. I’ve been getting them for years. It’s so annoying
Well cuz the word "botox" is in the title
This is what we needed to hear. I remember when the BBLs were taken out, the whispers across the internet and then boom, we were out of Ozempic for diabetic patients. I hope this is the turning of the leaf, but don’t wait for society to change, change your life for you. Self-compassion shouldn’t be a trend, it should be our emotional home.
I had a bbl myself but only due to extreme weight loss, to fill some of the skin back in. I’d never take the fat out, whether the trend is now gone or not. My bony ass hurt too much, even with consistent glute exercises 😂
I literally never gave reaching my thirties a second thought, and in fact I’ve always been a late bloomer and suspected that my time would come later in life than people around me. At 27, I am so much more happy with myself and my mental health is 100x better, and yet the only time I feel scared to age is when I consume a lot of social media. It truly is a manufactured insecurity to be scared of turning 30. Many people actually feel more satisfied and emotionally stable as they age! It’s beautiful to be given more years to live!
26 and same experience and outlook for me :)
The irish disclosure for "turd" in every vid kills me 😂
I just turned 31, and as I'm currently in uni for my second career, I'm attending classes with students who are a decade younger than me. I'm fortunate that I still have a youthful appearance (many of my classmates had guessed I was in my early to mid 20s, yay), but I do have a guess what youd call "dynamic wrinkles" or fine lines - particularly across my forehead and smile lines. During an eyebrow waxing session in my late teens, the woman doing the service smacked my forehead with the wooden spatula and told me "stop exercising your forehead, you will get wrinkles", and it left me a little self conscious. At job I had, i had a female coworker who would stop herself whenever she laughed or smiled, often sporting a RBF (although she was a lovely person) because she wanted to prevent wrinkles. I couldn't understand the lengths people would go to to "pause time". Sure, it's a little annoying when base makeup sometimes settles in these lines, but I've come to appreciate the way my face looks so much (even makeup free, and having struggled with acne since age 10, this is a blessing). I've never considered any facial injections or fillers (maybe microneedling to improve texture someday) because I've too often seen negative outcomes of these procedures. But now in my 30s, I have a very different perspective about fine lines and wrinkles. Why would I want to hide or change these things about myself when I find them so attractive on other people?! I fall in love with the way a person's eyes crinkle when they smile, or the way their forehead furrows when they're thinking hard, the way a child's nose scrunches when they're frustrated, and the way a person's cheeks hug their mouth when they laugh. These fine lines and wrinkles are signs of an expressive person, and a life well lived - and I find them utterly beautiful 💚
Well said!❤
This made me cry. I am 27, I am struggling to get to uni for a second career because my current career is becoming redundant. I feel so sad, my friends who are struggling as I am always complain about how old they are, how hard it is to be at uni with people in their early twenties. I always feel like I haven't achieved anything in my life. Mum had me when she was 25, and she looked beautiful. It is so hard to imagine I'll stop feeling like an old loser hag. But, reading your comment, and watching the video, make me feel like I can do it, like I am a little less alone. Thank you ❤
@@mariammosashvili4150 @mariammosashvili4150 dont lose hope. I did not have a linear academic path - doing very well through high school, to starting at one uni and doing terribly before finding my feet, then going to nursing school (while I enjoy it, always meant to be a transitional career to pay the bills for future schooling), before pursuing psychology and education like I am now. In nursing school, I had classmates as young as 17 and some who were in their 70s (you see a lot of age variation in college). Dont hold yourself to other peoples or another generation's timeline (I've had old classmates get married, have businesses and babies, and I'm the 30 year old still in school). Its taken a lot of time to decide what I want to do with my life, and in that process I've found what I definetly dont enjoy, left friendships that werent fulfilling, and really come to understand what's important to me and what I want for my life. 27 is so young in the grand scheme of things, so take your time. I know it feels like your "real life", the one you may have spent so much time imagining, has been put on hold due to life circumstances, or that it hasn't started yet. But this is you're life, you're living it. The daily grind can be soul crushing at times, but find ways to center yourself. I'm not much of a social butterfly, but I love enjoying beautiful things (the sound of the waves against the shore, the smell of the forest as I go on a hike, the colours of the stained glass in an empty church - though I'm not particularly religious), and chatting with strangers (eg. I will walk down to my local coffee shop just to enjoy the sun on my skin and the wind against my cheeks, and chat with the baristas or other people in line). Dont worry about being "old" - I've got a bunch of greys that have sprouted in the last few years that just about gave me a heart attack (first sign of aging that actually made me feel old) but a half decent hair dye runs about $10-20, and positively transformative for my confidence. You are lovely, and I'm sure many people - unbeknownst to you - already love you for the gorgeous person you are! Something that I've found has helped is setting shorter milestones - yes I'd like to be a teacher, but right now I'm just focusing on doing well semester by semester. I'd like to get healthier and lose weight. Is weight loss my primary goal? No, not really. I want stamina, and strength, and energy to do everything I want in life
Buuuut, my discipline and motivation currently arent going to give me gym-based results. So I try to eat healthier (not by cutting things out, God no I love chocolate too much for that), but adding more fruit and veg to things I already enjoy. Play the game your way, and find enjoyment in the process, not just the goal. I dont know you, and you may not feel like you're where you want to be in life yet, but I'm so proud of how hard you're working and how far you've come already! You can do this YOUR WAY!
Hi, I’m 26 and will be turning 27 in a matter of months. I loved your entire comment but in particular, I’m relieved to see the uni part too. I’m just about to finally take an access course to get into uni for the first time. It will be a 5ish year long journey but I’m so happy to see I’m not alone x
I agree ! smiling lines are so pretty !
gen z constantly staring at screens, constant stress from social pressure at school, and vaping. my gen z coworker told me everybody in school vapes or smokes weed
I’m just reading ‘Ageism unmasked’ and it has completely changed how I look at ageing. I feel like you’d enjoy it. Really glad you made this video.
So interesting! I grew up watching Friends and always thought the girls were so beautiful. I remember seeing them for the first time as they currently look and being so shocked that Monica and Rachel looked completely different! I wonder how they would have looked if they had decided to age naturally.
I think courtney cox is looking much more like herself these days since she had her fillers dissolved
@@ClementineDaydream yes with money u can change everything
Gen Z are maybe more stressed, anxious, or depressed? Gen Z are more likely to have started vaping very young and use concentrated forms THC. There are so many factors that affect the physiology of Gen Z and their “accelerated aging” vs Millennials. I feel for them in some ways
Many of them also have adopted vegan or fad diets, eat processed food, and many have eating disorders. Diet has a big part to play. The other issues are the use of screen time at night and staying up so late with it, which ruins their circadian rhythm and leaves the body in further states of stress.
No they are not. We all are stressed. They're not special. It's their lifestyle.
Fortunately that's not our problem. Lol
I doubt they are more stressed and depressed than millennials actually. They seem a bit weak and pathetic in a lot of ways and I think the issue is just filler and nothing else. They don’t look old until they get that done
One of my main pet peeves is how the "forever young" is only pushed towards girls and women - men are allowed to age. I am not participating in this misogyny and you cannot convince me it's not misogyny
This was genuinely one of the best videos on this topic I've ever seen. Great use of video clips!
I agree! A great format! It looks like it has taken lots of research and work, well done xx
Gen x here. I tried all the fillers and botox, and I hated it. I decided I don't care what anyone else thinks of me, and I will not let society make me feel less than. I will take care of myself from the inside out and age happily. My sags and wrinkles tell a story about my life and experiences.
First of all, you're beautiful , classy, and I think you're 22 max 25 y.o. you don't need nothing! You're one of the rarest real face that I found on youtube, and you looks like an old Hollywood diva, just because you haven't done any procedure. And I'm completely agree with you!! I know some girls in theyr 18 that looks a way older than me, and I cannot understand how it's possible since I'm 24 . thanks for your great video, we must spread this message.🥰
She looks like 32 probaly 28 but not younger. Fans are exaggerating.
thank you so much for this video. I am 34 about to turn 35 and I think this is in so many women's heads nowadays. I am so relieved to listen to you and your words, we are not alone in this process, because sometimes it can feel you are the only one feeling this way. We are bombarded with botox and beautiful faces constantly. They take advantage of any slump or moment in which our self-esteem is low, such as the days before our period, and it is true that sometimes you unconsciously question your worth based on your beauty as a woman. This video helps us to reflect and see that there are many of us who don't want to be there, although as you say we respect each person's decisions.
BetterHelp at it again….this sponsor is such a red flag for me.
My only beef with better help is that it is really expensive like thank God. I finally was able to get insurance to get like a state therapist, but when I was in a hard time I was looking into better help and it seems over budget.
As someone who has an auto immune disorder, I wake up some mornings and my face feels so inflammed that I can barely move and express it. I feels so uncomfortable, looks horrible and makes me feel socially awkward. It's what I imagine botox and filler would feel like....would never put myself or anyone else through this. Never!
Same!
Fantastic video, I'm in minute 19. The bit about your grandmother was beautiful and made me cry. I often think that when people go 'ew I don't want to look old', I wonder about their mothers and grandmothers. As if they don't find them beautiful!!
The thing is, even if someone is not "ideally" pretty, the most beautiful thing is a woman who is unapologetically herself. Kindness and quiet confidence are also a key part of this, but the point is it really has very little to do with your natural (or unnatural) appearance.
The most outwardly beautiful people can be truly ugly, and people with odd features who simply embrace their face and remember to love and laugh can be astonishingly beautiful.
This was a lovely video. Your strength and vulnerability remind me of the imperfectly perfect uniqueness of every human. I hope more and more people become aware of this and are able to accept themselves as they are ❤️
I have a beautiful story that sort of relates to this, my Nan is 73 and about 5 years ago, she had someone approach her who was her best friend in high school at age 16 and they’d not seen each other or spoken to each other since then and they recognised each other despite the fact it had been around 50 years since they last spoke and I think that is truly wonderful and it put into perspective for me just how beautiful aging can be ❤
So glad I’m not alone, there are things I’d change about my body but I don’t want to. I’m trying to love my body for what it is and it’s natural beauty
You look younger than most people I know in their 20’s. Thank you for making this video, you’re stunning!
You look so young girl! Seriously, such a youthful appearance!
Hi Melanie! I’m a fellow millennial who often get mistaken for a 25yo even tho I’m 34 and I’m also a physician specialized In esthetic medicine! I can tell you that I never got Botox or fillers done on myself and I completely stopped doing it on my patients outside of specific medical conditions (Botox can be effectively used for muscle spastic contraction and hyperhidrosis for instance). I absolutely believe that if overdone and done too soon they can contribute to age you prematurely, fillers by overfilling and migrations and Botox via muscle excessive weakening and reduced blood flow, even if done properly...I saw it on people coming to me after years of these procedures looking like 40yo even tho they were still in their 20s!! I completely switched my practice to lasers, IPL and phototherapy, which only work by helping your skin actual regenerative properties. And actually for acne scars I absolutely recommend you to try out fractional lasers, they work pretty well! (Ofc research a good doctor with a lot of experience and different types of treatments available). Oh and go gentle! ALWAYS! Lasers for instance are very powerful but the gentle treatments already do a lot, you don’t need to be covered in crusts for 2 weeks ! Go for a gentle non ablative 1064nm fractional laser and it will help you without beating your face up
Gosh you are gorgeous. I’m generation X, 47 and almost through menopause and I have not done anything. I’m tempted to everyday now but part of me also wants to experiment with aging gracefully although scared to do it almost alone as society and standards have changed so much. I do think there’s something beautiful about a natural and untouched face. None of my friends who do these treatments look any younger. One could still guess their age but they might look less wrinkled, smoother, etc. I’m still trying to tell myself the lines tell the story of our lives. Perhaps one day I’ll give in and want a facelift but I’m really trying to stay true to myself and my heart but it is hard out there.
hearing the risks and side effects dropped my jaw
Oh I am so SO so glad you made this Melanie. I have been thinking about this a lot recently as I find it so sad that young people, (any people!) feel this pressure. I too felt the pressure to conform to some unattainable beauty standard when I was young and hide behind make up, in my case, but that all changed when I had a baby and I realised if I could accept he was beautiful and came from me - then I must be beautiful too. Later I realised that it was ridiculous to measure your worth on our appearance, that this is such a prevalent idea, especially for women is so wrong. When I lost my mum four years ago, I remember looking in the mirror and thinking how much I would change from the grief, and I have. My love and the loss of her is present there, as my skin turns more papery and the lines of love and grief, worry and relief are recorded visibly over time. I look myself in the eyes and I laugh and smile! I love to see it change. Our faces change our WHOLE lives, (no more so then when we are a child!) I think it is fascinating and hilarious and a beautiful, wild thing, ageing. I am so glad you are not getting filler or botox, it's the most toxic substance on earth and I am sure that can't be good for anyone.
Let yourself age. It's a wonder! Lots of love, Katie - signing off like the gen Xer I am! Xxoo
Love this topic, thank you for putting this together! Turning 33 this year, I’ve notice aging and have felt a push to do something about it. Especially growing up listening to my own mother lament aging. Love your point that you wouldn’t be getting it ‘for you’, I think that resonates with a lot of us.
Although you are absolutely right about trying to look 22
But the pressures of looking YOUNG is damn too much on us women
Society won’t allow us to age gracefully 😢
its up to you whether you want to conform to societies standards (aka make rich white men richer by profiting off our insecurities) ... we all age, there is nothing we can do about it, why fight it?
You don’t need society to allow you to do anything ♡
What pressure? No one forces you to do anything.
lol you're just completely ignorant to the pressures of society? are you living under a rock?@@mariapriest4106
@@mariapriest4106 they may not be forcing you, but they treat you badly, cheat on you with 18, make jokes about older women, want teen girls but expect them to act just like the women in her 30s and be their second mother, influencers post their plastic surgeries and botox
I don’t plan on doing anything other than skin care to prevent aging. I am also planning on leaning into the 👩🏻🦳 gray hair when the time comes. (In my early 30s currently). Would love for an IG poll on your page about if your viewers plan/don’t plan on getting anti-aging treatment. To each their own obviously -just interesting to hear about it. 😀
I'm 32 and my hair is starting to gray on the sides. I've been going back n forth on whether I should dye them. I had decided previously not to do it and just let it happen, watch the grays come in over the next couple of years as they're supposed to. But now I'm wavering, because I'm still young and I'm starting to not like the grays when I put my hair up they're very noticeable anf make me look older.
@@HIMpotter i do think when it’s in the in between growth period i might start to have fun with dying my hair or getting “fun” cut to help the growth before going fully grey. But it really is up to you and what you are comfortable with and what makes you feel good. 😊 i think it’ll be different when i am at the different stages as they happen.
@@HIMpotter I got my first gray hairs when I was 17 years old, and used to dye my hair until I got tired of doing it in my late 20s. Now, I'm 40 and maybe 60% of my hair is gray, and I love it. Also, gray hair tends to be more difficult to dye, and it's easier to damage.
@@HIMpottergray hair is sexy, don't dye it! You'll look even prettier
First off you are gorgeous inside and out. I resonate a lot with what you said in the video. I'm 30 and are constantly told I look "great for my age." Tbh, I feel more attractive now than I did in my early 20's. I had a lot of added facial fat then that always made me feel self-conscious. Some of it has lessen and I like the way I look more now. I remember when filler started making waves in my early 20's and I felt temped as well. Those well-defined jaw lines look nice or those non-surgical nose jobs were tempting as well to experiment. Glad I never did so. I don't plan on ever getting those things done. At least not until I'm MUCH older where they're initially supposed to have been made for "older people" mid 40's and up. It's sad to see teens and people in their 20's ruining their faces by over doing it.
Yah you will get them done - 35 is when the face starts to lose shape and elasticity, and the rapid aging will be a shock to you. This is when you’ll get into injections.
@@KGG2It might shock you to realize there are people who actually never get any work done ever. And it turns out these are the people who stay looking younger longer!
Thanks for making this! I sometimes get overwhelmed by the overrepresentation of plastic surgery and injections in the media and I can feel it warping my brain into scrutinising signs of ageing in my own face. Regardless, like you, I know that these modifications would never feel right for me personally and really, I want to age and am grateful for the passage of time that's leaving its mark on my face. It's really special to have my mindset/appearance validated on a platform where I get a lot of counteractive messaging
Needed to hear all this today. The pressure is real. Thank you putting it so perfectly
Thanks so much for this, I am 33 and this video made me feel a lot better about ageing. You crying with happiness when you saw the filter had made you look like your granny is so heart-warming :) What you said about older actors having so much expression in their faces through wrinkles is lovely.
33 year old this side too...lets age naturally and embrace our journey through our changing face :).....billions of people out there...but our original face will always be unqiue no mater how it looks...so learning to embrace its imperfection and accepting its uniqueness gradually..
Thank you so much for making this video as a part of gen z I have found it scary and alienating growing up with Instagram face and seeing everyone morph into clones talking about always having something they want to fix it takes a toll seeing it get more and more normalised and as everyone is getting more desensitised yet to me the uncanny valley of it all is terrifying and I can instantly spot it too this video has been really validating it’s a privilege to grow old and see your well earned smile lines I love knowing that I’ll look like my granny when I’m older and seeing my family in my face like a patch work quilt and the fear of aging has always confused me you can try all the treatments but you can only fight aging by dying young and that’s something I don’t want to do knowing kids are trying to get drunk elephant and wrecking there skin barriers it just makes me sad they should be being kids and not feeling these pressures the beauty sickness of the world and it’s desperate desire and hunt for it feels so dystopian and I know women are explicitly told they have an expiry date which makes it worse but I just want to feel ok just being myself it’s exhausting living in such a microscope world and I wish we would stop focusing on things that really don’t matter wasting a life consumed with thoughts of trying to be and stay beautiful for as long as possible feels so limiting we are full of possibility’s and aiming for something so mercurial that changes with the trends is just tragic cause they will inevitably change and then the permanents of those treatments will be forever it’s just a losing battle
Thank you for this video Melanie! I have been tempted to get botox for my forehead lines for YEARS. I only notice them when I wear makeup and it settles in then, and I really do love wearing makeup so this has really been getting me down. But I loved your point about 'you either accept the risks or you don't, and I simply DON'T'. That really resonated with me. I also learned so many new things about it in this video. I think I'll hold off, at least a little while longer ;)
Same! I've quit wearing foundation, the settling drives me mad
thank you for this video, I found it really sobering. especially being 26 now and having had dermal lip fillers, it is refreshing to see content that explores the risks and side affects, but also denormalises it as something that is a result of beauty standards/advertising and not something I just naturally fancy because it may boost my confidence. it's good to keep a critical eye on these things. it really is a privilege to age and I love how our faces tell stories. I also love interesting faces that have variation, it would be so sad for us to all morph into one type of 'beautiful'. I saw something as well about how our faces are millions and millions of our ancestors and heritage all mixed together to create our specific features. I genuinely don't think I will get filler or botox again. thank you melanie, I always find your videos informed, soothing and genuinely quite life-changing. I will never forget how much your video on sobriety changed my relationship with alcohol. appreciate you!
so much respect for your level of self awareness-knowing your own tendencies towards body dysmorphia, knowing that if it wasn’t for societal standards you wouldn’t get work done… so many people are in denial about their potential motives for procedures, so your wisdom is such a relief 💗 you are naturally beautiful inside and out
I’m 36 and would have never guessed you were my age. I thought you looked closer to mid to late twenties. 🙌🏼🙌🏼 I’m also a non-injector and am waiting until I turn 40 to consider seriously. Thanks for the video you natural beauty!
Also trends a change all the time! It scares me to commit to something permanently for a potential beauty standard for it to change! Again, like Mel- no judgment from me if you do decide it’s best for you, I’m so happy for you! I’m obsessed with some lip fillers friends, which often makes me think whether I should do it or not! Additionally, the fear of needles and the price also deters me away from them x
Thanks for making this video. The moment it clicked for me was in a stroke ward and there was an older woman whose face was totally frozen of expression from Botox and pillowy from filler who was trying to comb her hair with a spoon. The currency of youth only goes so far.
Great video, as someone who is turning 30 this year and has not had any treatments it's so helpful to see videos like this from someone who isn't much older than me
This is a really thoughtful analysis of these procedures and it's nice to hear how you relate to it.
I'm going to be 30 this year and this video genuinely almost made me cry. I've never had anything done, and I currently don't want to have anything done after a long time struggling with my appearance and obsessing over it. A lot of your reasons are my reasons, too. And seeing it get so normalised is so difficult because I know I am not going to have anything done and I know that I *shouldn't* have anything done, but that doesn't mean that as I'm getting older and seeing my face change that I don't stress about it. I never thought I was the kind of person to be bothered by ageing, and in general I'm not, but I've been seeing little bits here and there over the past few years. I actually really like how my face looks now, but I also feel the obsession with youthfulness breathing down my neck when I look in the mirror sometimes.
I agree with you wanting to look like your family - I have the giant nose of my grandad and I hated it. But now I've come to accept it. I'm wearing my Irish ancestors on my face and that makes me somewhat proud tbh. I look very similar to you (like eerily similar...), and it has helped me realise that 30 is not a scary number when I'm going to look like an old crone (of course I logically knew that, but still) and that I'm not alone in this. Thank you
Seeing your acne scars and telling the truth about your dull skin concerns makes me feel at ease that i am not alone and people do experience the same thing. I have seen all your previous video as i am an old subscriber knew about your acne journey.
And btw you don't look 35 at all even after having kids. You still look FAB!!
This video needs more views! There are so many people who need to see this.
This video is such a breath of fresh air. Thanks Mel
Thank you so much for this video.
When I was in my teens and early 20ies I've always believed that I won't have a problem with ageing and that I'll be proud to become wiser and also look the part.
But now at the age of 28 with social media around I often catch myself looking into the mirror and focusing on the tiny lines on my forehead or the pores that have gotten a little bigger in certain areas than they were 10 years ago. Especially because emotionally I don't really feel that much older or mature yet.
To me, the worst thing is, when women talk about wanting to be natural but they have clearly had things done. (e.g. that clip of Ariana Grande. She might not be using filler anymore but it looks very much like she's had a brow lift and other surgical procedures done.)
So thanks for being honest and staying true to yourself and your believes. The more people online we see doing that, the easier it will be for us to stay true to ourselves too.
I think that's such an important point you made! I've never seen it that way but thinking about it makes so much sense. I think a lot of us in our twenties mentally don't feel that old/ grown up yet and it's therefore hard to identify with an older looking appearance. There's probably a lot of psychology behind that, which would explain a lot of the behaviour of this age group
I think you look better now than you did when you were younger ❤️ thank you for making this video!
You are SO lovely, and I’m so glad you have the self awareness to know what you don’t want in the future. So proud of you!
This is such important information that no one is talking about. Thank you so much for this.
Thank you for making this video
This was a comforting video to watch. I’m in a mental health hospital at the moment. I’m so glad you’re not planning on ever having work done. You have always been and will always be very beautiful. ❤ Your children are so lucky to be growing up with a positive role model. 😊 I pray you continue to provide us with comforting and truthful content about topics beyond diet/eat in a day videos. I really loved this, very refreshing, informed and wholesome. I would love to follow your journey doing a masters degree, that would be so helpful for many students or those like myself considering a masters qualification in the future. Videos about your approaches to writing and how you put a book together. The journey of a book from idea to reality would be so interesting. Lots of love to you Mel ❤
I’ve watched you since I was I’d say around 15, and now I’m 22. You’ve helped me so much with being kind to my younger self ❤
Love everything about this vid. Particularly the bit you said about actresses - two of my favourite comedic actresses from huge TV shows have had lots of work done and it breaks my heart that they can't make the same hilarious faces that made their characters so iconic...it just feels like something is missing (absolutely not intending to shame them btw). I had a near miss with a severe infection a few years ago which could have gone very wrong and every day I feel lucky to be ageing
As an actress I refuse injections particularly due to this!!❤
Thank you for this!
I needed this video. I've been super tempted to start trying this stuff since hitting my 40s. Thank you for this content.
Thanks for sharing your perspective, the non-yet-inyected feel less alone in a platform that always show the Come Get Fillers With Me journeys. ♥
wow it was very interesting and eye-opening. I never thought I would consider botox/filler in my life. But now that I am 32 years old and I see static lines being formed, I really considered it. Especially seeing all those smooth faces on instagram and tv. But seeing all the longterm effects (and lots that we don't know yet) I snapped out of it.
I can attest to the longevity of filler! Although I’ve only received lip filler, I can state that it does last much longer than med spa’s claim. The last time I got lip filler was well over two years ago but I am still pleased with the enhancement. It is a subtle enhancement but I think that’s where consumers can go wrong, most do not want subtle. And it is very easy to overdo especially if you’re returning every 6 months.
Thank you for making this video ❤
Thrilled I found your channel! You’re beautiful inside and out. My late grandmother is from Limerick! ❤
I'm 31, and this is such an important subject. I have seen my mother age so beautifully and gracefully, I've seen my grandmothers do the same and I want that for myself. It took me so long to look at myself and feel pretty, to love my features and see the women of my family in them.
I want my younger sister to see me age gracefully, I want any potential child of mine to see that aging is part of life, I want the people I love to see on my face the joy they bring me in my lines, I want to be reminded when I'm old and grey of all the happiness I've gotten in my life.
I just don't understand why people are so scared of seeing a well-lived life on a face. It's beautiful. It's scary, sure, but it's beautiful.
43 year old here.
It’s hard to see yourself age. Rationally you know it’s a good thing, a natural event, and it comes for us all. But it’s still hard.
The last couple years I have really noticeably started aging. It’s doubtful I would ever get anything done for all the same reasons you mentioned.
You are wise and smart to feel the way you do, and remind us all of those final parting words. We will never be this young again as we are today. Enjoy it!!!!! So important to remember that!
I worry all the time about being an older mom and my daughter never being able to know me in the prime of my youth. I hope I can give her enough of myself in other ways that she can still see me as a beautiful woman.
Really insightful video, I loved it. Also i can't stop looking at how your make up, hair, nails, clothes and background match so beautifully
How refreshing, thank you for this! ❤
I’m watching this trend from the prospective of a 60 year old. It’s so weird to me! When I was in my 20s I had a picture of myself at this age: fluffy gray helmet hair, sagging jowls, a face full of wrinkles, and gross teeth. I do very basic skin care. And I don’t look anything like I imagined! I’m glad I never tweaked anything or had the opportunity to do anything preventative, because I turned out ok. It is MY face and I like it.
synthetic oxytocin (pitocin) & naturally produced oxytocin are the same molecule chemically. contractions are harder because the dose is much, much higher than in regular, naturally induced labor. the word 'synthetic' gets a bad rap in medicine & I would caution to not encourage fearmongering of 'synthetic' chemicals, when they're analogous molecularly to 'natural' chemicals.
I really appreciate the wave of people countering the pressure being put onto people to get cosmetic procedures. Truly accepting and loving yourself takes work- it’s hard- but in the long run it will be worth all the work ❤ that’s the only work I want done
Thank you for making this video! I’ve never gone under the knife or needle but at 46 I’m feeling the pressure big time! I’ve always been told I don’t look my age but part of that might be EDS that I was diagnosed with as a kid. I also now how MS (multiple sclerosis) & would never want to have a reaction. It’s bad enough on its own. I have chronic migraines as a result of the MS & have thought about Botox to treat that, but even that scares me.
I can’t guarantee I’ll never do anything as I age (because I have had weight issues in my life & that may influence me as well), but I will definitely not be naïve about the potential risks or long-term effects.
Also, you still look just as gorgeous to me as you did years ago! You have been skin & beauty goals for many of your fans / followers. Not that you are responsible for any of us! Just love your honesty & transparency! ♥️♥️♥️
Oh wow. Thanks for validating my experience of talking with people who had things done. Just like you, I tend to notice immediately. It’s weird but I can kind of see that the face is roving or looking “natural”. And I keep staring at them instead of actually listening to what they are saying. It’s like observing a supernatural phenomenon. When it’s light of course i can refocus but I once let an American girlie on Bumble and… wow… I felt so guilty for not being able to listen to her much. My brain would always find new things to focus on her face instead of her speech. In the end, I couldn’t retain the friendship. We were from two different worlds.
You look you're in your late 20's honestly. You are so pretty like a irish princess 😂
We should take care of ourselfs and our skin, but not to try not aging. Aging is normal and beautiful.
You’re stunning! I love looking at people with no work done. It’s beautiful to age naturally.
13:58 "cosmetic doctors may also suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder". Thank you SO MUCH for this whole section. I met a couple of cosmetic doctors at a party recently and they radiated a specific kind of energy. I obviously don't know them well enough to say whether they were suffering from BDD but your video was a helpful reminder just how much personal subjectivity plays a role in this field. There's not the same pursuit of objective diagnosis that you'd get in oncology for example.
Yeah I saw a dermatologist shooting herself up after work in her office. She was definitely unaware on many levels. It was creepy to watch. I didn’t want to end up like that and resigned.
I am positive that there are people who get filler where it is "unclockable" and they feel and look great. The problem is when it becomes trendy and everybody ends up with faces that look weirdly inflated. I think it messes with our perceptions of how faces SHOULD look. To me a lot of the people who talk about getting regular filler just look like they have swollen faces. Kind of like when you're bloated or you've been crying a lot. It's not a look that you find naturally in nature on a day-to-day basis and so you start to get a little bit of that uncanny valley thing going. Very exaggerated features that start to look almost doll like. For some people that's what they're going for, and I really appreciate you mentioning that some people aren't going for a natural look. They WANT to stand out. And that is totally fine with me. The damage can be in comparing ourselves to people who've gotten trendy procedures. Or, as another commenter pointed out, men not having a realistic expectation of how aging generally works for women. I have always been so irritated by the idea that men just get more attractive as they age, but women need to do all kinds of interventions to maintain their attractiveness. How many movies do we have with men decades older than their female co-star love interest? All of this perpetuates the idea that women need to hold on to a more youthful look in order to still be valued and relevant. It's a double standard that annoys me. I think men also follow into these unrealistic beauty standards but it's definitely more highlighted for women.
Fantastic message ❤
Just found you and I gotta say, you're so gorgeous I can't! This video helped me distract myself from the fact that my sweet kitty passed away, so I owe you for this 35 minutes of calm! Much love
9:40 you look so fresh, your skin is glowing so much so you make me consider starting some basic skin care routine (or just sunscreen at least since I am living in Greece)
Omg def start!!
I think you are amazing , thank you for this video. Fillers and botox scare me to and I wouldnt have them either but society has effected me so bad i am fearful of aging in society and im really struggling ❤
I’m so happy you posted this. I’m 32 this year and am noticing the changes. It’s so tempting to go try and over correct but my fears are the same as yours and I think ultimately it might not be worth it