six months sober ~ pros & cons of quitting alcohol
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- Опубликовано: 22 дек 2019
- I quit drinking six months ago and it's been pretty tough but also extremely life changing. Here are the main pros and cons to being sober (for me!). I hope it helps.
► tips to cut back on alcohol or to give up (NEW VIDEO): • 15 months SOBER update...
When I was a teenager I certainly drank too much, I was a binge drinker, as is very common in Ireland (statistics back this up, I'm not generalising). Then in my 20s I calmed down a bit and had a limit on my drinking - two glasses of wine. Over the past few years I noticed myself drinking more regularly and worse still, drinking way too much when I would drink. I blacked out three times that I can recall in 2018 (puking, screaming, no idea where I was or what was happening etc - that level of drunk). I don't know when or why I slid backwards in my drinking habits...it came on slowly over the past few years, and I didn't think I had issues for quite a while (defensiveness, I guess) but what I discovered through therapy was WHY drinking had become such an issue for me and why dark, buried trauma was coming out after one too many (which is private, but important to share as it might inspire some of you to pursue therapy!). I did still have a lot of fun when drinking - most of the time - but with those fun nights came the hangovers, the loss of time for goals and work, the shame, the health impacts on my mental and physical health (much of this impact is invisible until you're sober and realise how much of a big deal it was, or until you're older and it catches up on you). I'm not looking for congratulations with this video I just want to connect to people on this issue, especially re: how difficult it has been for me socially with the fear of missing out and all that, plus it's been very highly requested from my regular viewers over the past few months, as I discovered - MANY of you also don't drink alcohol! Which, actually, has been a big help, as I've received so much wonderful advice from my subscribers. If this video helps you, let me know, and if you think it might help someone in your life (experiencing alcoholism or alcohol abuse), PLEASE send it to them!
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This video probably won't be monetised by RUclips but if it is, I'll donate the revenue made from this video over the first six months to Alcohol Action Ireland.
UPDATE! My biggest trigger since I got sober 4 years ago…let’s talk about 'wine mom' culture -
ruclips.net/video/8eyHuuEnJKQ/видео.html
Wow, you've done really well it's not easy
ALSO, random thing but is anyone else annoyed by the amount of drinking culture that's casually forced on us? Like everywhere you go, pillows and clothing and home decor with "let there be gin! Prosseco made me do it! It's 5 o'clock somewhere!" on it EVERYWHERE. It's kind of frightening how normalising that stuff is, like hehe being wasted is so cute and kitsch and fun decor hehe ✨✨✨ ugh it annoys me.
YES! If I see one more "Rose all day" shirt I'm going to scream. Shit isn't healthy
Exactly. It's so normalized to the point where it's hard not to actually form a drinking habit
It's so true. Its so ingrained into society that having an alcohol problem is more normal than not drinking at all.
Yes. Very good point!!
the greatest results that ive ever had was with the Sebs Magic Tactic (i found it on google) without a doubt the no.1 idea i've tried.
“That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.” - Charles Bukowski
So freacking true!
so true .... as Charles Dickens wrote "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, .... etc"
It's just far too easy to justify things to yourself. I don't think I'm ready to give up completely yet, but I'm in the process of being honest with myself about how it is affecting my life. I'm already feeling the excitement and urge to drink fading away.
Can I screen shot this and put it in my video?
I may not drink for months but when I do it is to GET drunk. I wake up the next day feeling like hell. I stay in bed all day or on the couch. If there is something I absolutely must do, I half ass it. I don’t think i should even drive after sleeping 8 hrs. I'm groggy as hell. Not alert at all. Even though I wouldn't register on a breathalyzer I know I'm not as sharp as I would want others driving along side me to be. I can see how people become alcoholics or addicts. We wake up, do more of the same to make that shitty feeling go away. The Only way to make it go away forever is to completely quit. Each person has to figure out the best way for themselves. Good luck to all of you. It may be hard but nothing is impossible ♥︎♥︎♥︎
"why don't you drink?"
"because I got sick of hating myself."
Wow, the devil walks among us like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour
Reading that brought me close to tears. I feel the same right now after last night.
But then they ask "why don't you just control your drinking?😔"
The Shame & Guilt Of The Night Before... 🙄 Alcohol... 😔
Even though I'm still in school I'm not planning to drink ever not even the tiniest sip
I'm not doing any of that stuff
I am sober for life
I see what happens when you drink alcohol and it's not pretty
So for that I'm planning to live a healthy lifestyle and make a healthy relationship as I get older
Alcohol is the only drug the you have to justify not taking.
True
randy johnson thanks Randy. It’s not mine, but I’m glad it helped.
are you not drinking?
why not?
That's sadly true. I've gotten the weird looks for saying I don't drink. I just don't want to and no one should have to explain themselves in these situations.
Cofee is also up there, diesnt have as many negative effects and has some good, but it is addictive and it is the most used and abused industry in the world
"Why don't you drink?"
Well how about why DO you drink?!
Indeed!
When people ask me this I always start my neverending conversation about how sad they are not being able to have fun in their pathetic lives lol
Giulianeda ye because I’m sure the person who considers other people pathetic for a normal lifestyle choice is much more fun xx
@@AnObviousMjolnir Alcoholism/Functioning alcoholism is NOT a NORMAL lifestyle choice.
Alcohol is actually just poison, so why the hell would you be so stupid to drink it?
I hate it when someone offers me a drink and you say no and they say "go on it's only one" and you say no again, the response is usually like "aw that's no fun!" Like why do you have to drink to have fun? I don't understand.
I know :( I think I've realised why people do this. When you're sober you're just not on their level...and not in terms of fun but in terms of, well, drunkness. It's pretty difficult to have a great conversation with a drunk person when you're sober, but when you're both drunk the conversation just becomes this big ball of vulnerability and jokes as it's in this trust-filled bubble of alcohol. Thing is, I don't need drink to have a laugh OR to open up, but many people do need it and if you're not drinking they'll often feel like you'll be 'TOO' aware of how open they become, whereas when there's drink involved on both sides...they can wake up the next day and be like 'haha, that was some drunken conversation' and not feel embarrassed. That's just what I gather, anyway, from messages I've received thanks to this video/from talking to pals about it! My friends didn't do this over Christmas and I'm so bloody grateful. They were like 'want a drink?' and I was like 'I'm off it actually!' and they were like 'oh cool, water or coke then?' :) (I don't really share my RUclips stuff on my personal facebook or anything so I doubt many of them would see updates like this! I hate taking about work with all my friends who DON'T do RUclips etc)
eeloftheworld • No, but people who don’t drink are just done with the evening a lot earlier. You cannot go out till 5 in the morning without some sort o substance and still have a lot fun and be connected to the other people around. I certainly don’t always drink when going out. But unfortunately, the most memorable and crazy nights have always been with a lot of alcohol and never with a bunch of sober people. That’s the real problem. And those who say they can have a lot of fun without alcohol generally do have tamer nights in mind. That’s fine too, but it’s not the same. So having to give that up is a big decision.
If you don't wanna do crack any more then stop hanging around with crackheads, the same logic applies....
ChessmasterHex • big difference is that those “crackheads” are generally your parents, siblings and friends/colleagues. Unlike crack, alcohol is everywhere and at all occasions. I personally do still drink and don’t think I have a problem with it since I can easily stick to just one drink on a night, or not drink for months in a row. But I can imagine it’s hard to avoid being around alcohol if it means you cannot hang out with pretty much anyone you know.
Melanie Murphy I haven’t quit alcohol, but I think it’s the same reason people get upset at me when I say I don’t want kids. When you don’t adhere to social norms the people who are drinking might think you think you are better than them, like you are “too good” to drink. I hardly drink or go out so I have the reputation of being stuck up - people think I’m too good to go out and have fun with them when in reality I just hate going out.
Same thing with other controversial choices. Don’t want to get married or have kids? The people who are married and have kids might think you are insulting their personal choices. (I realize not everyone is like this, but I’ve encountered enough people who are.) Following your own path takes courage. Some people might not like it, do it anyway. Something I learned was if someone is upset that you have boundaries, it’s because they benefited from you not having those boundaries and they should be cut out.
I've been sober for 3.4 years. Got married, started a business, we're pregnant. Life is better sober.
Congratulations 🎉
I can't wait to get to this point.
@@deadchannel7232 we just had the baby in October. Slow and steady. Say yes to God. Let go of your ego and will. Good luck
Just dropping in from September 2021 to say I'M STILL SOBER! FUCKING FUCK YESSS
I'm doing stop-tober now with a few friends and I'm actually loving it. Being in the local music scene has made it an extra challenge but I'm set on it. Thanks for the video and keep it up. Sober pride!!
YESSSSSSSSS get it!! 💪🥰
This made me misty-eyed to read :) Congrats!
I'm 100 days sober today. I decided to stay up until midnight to watch the clock tick over, and as you know, staying up ain't that easy when you're sober hahaha!!! Congratulations to you, you're the real MVP!
Congratulations 🎉 🎊
I quit alcohol yesterday 12/11/21... I am looking forward to a new way of living 🙏😇🙏
Alcohol is a drug and a depressant. Alcohol abuse is so common. Don’t feel alone.
Don't feel alone but its good to feel bad about it to realize changes need to be made
Agree
@@Alex-lk7qy Bang on Alex you have to walk this tightrope on your own as no one can hold your hand on this journey, only give you advice and moral support :-)
@@ianbennett2212 well supportive people can hold your hand in solidarity and mutual aid. Other sober people :) but yeh it's up to you to make better conscious choices every day as no-one can force you.
It stuns me that people are so bold as to ask why someone isn’t drinking. Whenever someone tells me they’re not I’m like oh nice that’s great. Many people have experienced excruciating pain and deeply personal loss at the hands of alcohol. Asking someone why they’re not drinking or what happened should be just as taboo as asking directly about a miscarriage or divorce
Or you can just say you're working on quitting alcohol...
No need be so reactionary
Zahinn that’s a great suggestion for what to say if you don’t want to talk about it. Not sure what that has to do with how incredibly rude it is to ask someone in the first place tho
Absolutely, if I actually told people why I now have an aversion to alcohol, they would instantly wish they never knew.
Lots of rude people out there.
Where I'm from (Scotland) your 'friends' will pour sneaky vodka into your coke to 'help you have fun'.
I'm in my 3rd month of an alcohol-free life. At 48, I've been drinking regularly for 33 years. I had been foolish many times when drinking and there is no fool like an old fool, so it was time to quit.
I've actually found myself more stressed, anxious and unhappy since quitting. But I am self aware enough to know that is because I have been numbing all these feelings for more than three decades and now I'm going to have to deal with them.
You have to change your perception of booze
You're thinking of it as a reward instead of what it really is.. poison.
I feel the exact same way, it was good reading this because I’m 47 and in the same boat.
Cheers and God bless
Olympia WA
@@PacificNorthwest360 7 months and going strong! It gets easier
Oh my goodness 🎉I am in same boat! Just quit! 3 decades of drinking mostly. Except when I was pregnant ❤ I'm almost 4 weeks sober 2mrw! Stay Strong 💪 🙌✝️🙏🥰Rely on God& Jesus. We can Do ALL things thru Him
@@MarkHadleyUKgreat job! 🎉❤
I’m an alcoholic, I’m currently 8 days sober, and am doing sober October to raise money for MacMillan cancer support, I’m so proud of you lovely xxx
UPDATE: I’m 28 days sober, 2 days until I’m a month
2 months sober tomorrow!!!
so proud of you!!
that’s amazing!! 2 years sober (alcohol and heroin) -keep it up!!! i promise you life will just keep getting better!!! 🙏🏼✨💕
Yay yay yay!
I'm trying to get to your status
I'm proud of you. Keep it up. ❤
"I care more about me than what people think of me" there it is. That's my quote for the year.
that is selfish. If everyone else drink then you should drink too.
@@Danuxsy 🤣🤣
I’ve struggled for years with alcohol abuse. I decided not to drink for a month. Then I got waisted and all the self belive was gone and all the guilt and embarrassment back. Along with this came depresionfour days later I’m still in bed. Wondering if I’ll ever be free from binge drinking ☹️ this made me feel a little better knowing I’m not on my own. I won’t to be that woman who can say no Thankyou. All my mates drink and they all encourage me then after I embarrass myself they like to tell me all about it and I was a mess and all over the place. Then the circle of shame and embarrassment starts again.
Great quote
randy johnson lol he’s trolling
when I stopped drinking, the stupidity of my drunken friends was the hardest thing to deal with....
alliecravulz, you are allowed to get other friends, you know
Everyone becomes stupid when wasted 😝
Find friends that don't drink or drink moderately.
I found out that I had just lame friends without alcohol
I would say; don't give up on your friends. If you go, another door to quitting alcohol will disappear. And your friends don't have to be perfect to be friends. It's loyalty, being there for eachother, that defines friendship. Not a matching lifestyle, I would say. :) Do with this what you want.
A funny thing happens when you quit drinking, all your alcoholic so called friends disappear out of your life.
Good.
Not true, I stopped drinking and my friends still hang out with me and respect my decision.
@Chairman of the Board If you flip that on its head, you might realise the same applied to you - that alcohol was your friend, but they never were?
@@Frey_2026 I guess it must be different for everyone.
i didn't have that problem. alcohol made me isolate and cut out my friends. it was a pretty pathetic existence tbh. now that im sober im much more social and enjoy being around ppl.
I lost the love of my life, September 5, 2019. She suffered alcohol disorder since she was 17 yrs old. She was a beautiful, successful and privileged women. When she was young, alcohol was her friend. Then alcohol became her partner. First, it took her career. Then, with several stays in jail (DUI's) her freedom. In her 40's, her health was seriously effected. Then, another stay in jail, 93 days, a large fine and probation. I can't explain what jail does to a 53 yr old woman. The shame, embarrassment, humiliation, alienation from family and friends. It destroyed her. In 2018, her liver failed. End Stage Liver Disease ESLD, for shear agony, horror surpasses any cancer. Alcohol robbed her of everything, her dignity, self respect and her life. Today January 13, would have been her 58th Birthday.
Im so sorry
That's horrible, I'm sorry for your loss.
One just stops and asks the media, what if alcohol wasn't glorified, wasn't advertised.
How many people have we lost, maybe emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically...its tough, and you can't open their eyes for them, no matter what
So sad bless her xx
Sooo sorry for your loss. Losing the person you love is never easy and never something you fully recover from. ❤️
I don’t drink myself and resonate with a lot of what you’re saying . I feel almost guilty when I tell people I don’t drink. I feel like alcohol is the only drug that people get criticised for NOT consuming.
Society has actually been structured that way, a lot of racism inolved too, good white people are supposed to drink, everything else is for those unsavory minorities. There is a guy named Edward Bernays nobody ever heard of but he shaped the 20th century more than anyone else I can think of, except maybe Hitler, and awkwardly enough Goebbels used Bernays to make Hitler a cult figure.
I am of partial Syrian ancestry myself. I am also in recovery.
I totally get what you're saying, but it is a comfort to me that for 1.8 billion people (Islam) drinking is not only discouraged, it is forbidden. Many other religions also forbid alcohol.
It has been incredibly helpful to me in recovery to look outside of my own culture for what is normal & acceptable! We can learn so much from other belief systems...
I absolutely agree. Also, I don't understand why when someone asks why I'm not drinking, "I don't feel like drinking." or "I don't want to." is not an acceptable answer. :(
Like you, not a drinker... but going by what you said looks to me like you might need better friends because mine don't ever make me feel guilty, criticise me for not drinking or push me to drink ever. Now we're all in our early 30s, but even in our late teens, early twenties... never did they make me feel bad for not drinking, in fact... they loved it, having a perpetual designated driver.
i don't give a shit what people think about me lol 😄
The guilt and shame that comes with a hang over rlly makes me want to give it up forever
Try!😁👍
There is no guilt or shame, only headaches and dehydration.
G0DHND oh honey there’s a fuck ton of embarrassment
G0DHND there DEFINITELY is shame and guilt along with dehydration
So just quit, people in this culture aren't the sort that you should be influenced by.
"Why aren't you drinking?!" Me - because I don't want to. No further discussion. End of.
I was a barmaid in a nightclub for a few months years ago, at a place where the crowd drank very heavily, that was the first time i was sober in that environment, it was a real eye opener!!!!
This is a reasonable description of what my childhood was like. Drunken adults and loud music every weekend. The stench of alcohol and stale cigarette smoke.
Proud of you for quitting. I know how you feel about "mourning the loss of a big part of your life" ....I am actually an alcoholic (for about 10 years) with the physical withdrawal symptoms etc and I cried and cried and cried when I first made the decision to get sober. I did EVERYTHING while intoxicated....i never even did my grocery shopping sober so....I had to relearn how to do pretty much everything sober. (I am 3 yrs & 8 months sober now) You can do this!
Naturallyashley86 I am proud of you. What an achievement! Such a gift for the people who care about you and for yourself!
That's amazing news you should be so proud! wishing you luck as you continue your sobriety journey 💙
This is encouraging to hear. Thank you for sharing and congratulations.
Naturallyashley86 what a strong person you are! Wish I was like you!
7 years since i touched alcohol, best thing i ever did
Good job!
Ten years for me , very happy to be sober.
Wow that's amazing!
Great job.. wish I could say the same
congrats on 7 years. hearing ppl with a lot of time away from booze and saying their life is better just reiterates that i made the right decision to quit.
It became very clear to me who my real friends were. It takes balls to order a soft drink at a pub as a bloke. The bad relationships I have gotten into because of alcohol and the good ones that ended because of it. I've got so much to give and it was totally holding me back from who I really am. I'm not scared anymore and neither should anybody else reading this. Keep up the good fight Melanie, it gets easier love x
Alcohol has been a huge part of my life. I drink alot and at first it was drinking with friends then I just started drinking alone at home. I couldn't get anything done. I have started my journey on not drinking 7 days sober. I want a better life. Thanks for the video.
I'm 7 days sober now from weekend binge drinking and drugs..How you getting on now ?
Hey 7 days here too!! I'm definitely motivated to stay away from alcohol. My anxiety went down. I sleep better and I'm less depressed 🥰 I used to have two 3 sometimes maybe 4 beers to at night before sleep every night and on the weekends a pt of vodka. Ive been hospitalized twice for alcohol poisoning. Detained for public intoxication. And ticketed for public urination. My last stint in the hospital I was coming off from an alcohol binge I was seizing bad, my neck was cranked up I was all the way fucked up. I've gone on dates with men I didn't even want to. Done drugs I didn't want to just to counteract the alcohol. I've put my self in dangerous asz situations. I'm 32 now and after all that I think yeah it's definitely time to stop drinking
Should have done a long time ago. But it would have not made an impact unless I was truly ready and I truly am now.
I’m lucky living in Denver, CO. They are starting to create “sober bars” and cafes open late on weekends due to the level of alcoholism and drunk drivers here. Things are changing. But yes, everything I do seems to involve alcohol. I’ve noticed a problem in myself over the last year and I too would like to cut back or off. It’s very difficult.
Where? Im in Denver too. Those sound interesting..
wait I'm in Denver too! where are the sober bars??
I'm near Denver too :P
Good luck to you! You can do it. It is an improved way to live.
Yeah for real where are they? I don’t like drinking
Another Irish person who can relate, it is crazy how linked alcohol is to every occasion; good day, bad day, birthday, Christmas, christenings, communion, funerals, new house, new car, new feckin scarf.... theres never not an excuse for drinking, "sure look its lashing out lets go get a pint" is a reasonable suggestion 🤷♀️ And then if you're not drinking people are taking the piss and calling ya a tea-totaller, its definitely not feckin easy so fair play 🙌
Love the - New scarf reason. I'm from NZ, so I get it, we're basically cousins. Any reason, and if you're not drinking, there's something wrong with you.. I've come to learn its the most hectic people, that have the most issue with it. Like, the ones that get super messy that will make the most comments
A new scarf Hahahah 😂
What does "it's lashing out" mean? I'm not Irish and I'm curious
@@TheFuschiaDragonfly I'm from northern Ireland and I think it means it's raining heavily outside 😊 or the weather is shit
Lauren McWilliam ok thanks ♥ love from Italy
I am six months sober today. I didn’t drink daily, and my body wasn’t dependent on it, but I binge drank when I did drink, 1-5 times per week. I never went more than a week without drinking. I decided to give it up after a breakup that was emotionally difficult, and I drank heavily for 3 months straight. After quitting, I have been able to meet my health goals, financial goals, I sleep like a baby and I wake up feeling good every morning. It is so worth it. I did mourn alcohol. I didn’t realize how much it became a coping mechanism for me. I thought I was just having fun and relieving stress, but no.
Hooe you are still going strong
@@Vict0reeaH Yes, Dec 26th I’ll be 1 year sober! 😁
How are you today ?
@@irvingvaleriano6402 Thanks for asking. It has now been about a year and five months since I’ve had a drink. I feel amazing and it’s the best decision I have ever made for myself. My life has changed for the better in so many ways. I feel like myself again instead of always hiding behind alcohol or using it as a crutch. I feel stronger and more confident. 10/10 recommend sobriety to anyone who is considering it. I don’t even miss it. I’m better without it.
I'm 22 years old and I'm an alcoholic. Today I'm 8 days sober. My journey to sobriety has just begun and this video gives hope and motivation. Thank you for sharing your experience. Super brave, I'm looking forward to one day doing the same and uploading a video of my own.
Congratulations!
Are you still sober today
@@republicanamerican8707 Absolutely! 47 days today 🙂 I feel like a little kid again, filled with vitality and a mind full of dreams.
Carlos Castillo
That’s great! Congratulations
I vaguely remember when I almost hit 6 months last year . I’m 50 years old but I felt like I had the vitality of a 30 year old ... I’m on my way again . The journey has re begun again for me . I love that you’re so young and attempting to get sober . Don’t be like me and think that just because your younger that it’s ok ... it’s the path of least resistance and the troubles that come with it aren’t worth it .
God bless us both through this ... ☺️
Hey! Are you still sober? Hope you are :)
(I’m 10 months sober)
@@user-kq3hf9ur9d I sure am! Congrats to you, we got this. I'm 160 days sober so about half of yours :)
I quit drinking for over a year now, and I love it. I will drink two drinks TOPS on extremely rare occasions, let's say I travelling, and it is an exotic drink or something, I think of it like food, like, "I will give this new thing a taste" and that is it. I am in love with this decision, it is just natural to me now, and I don't miss it at all. The horrible feeling of being drunk, the hangover, I am so happy that I don't have any of this problems any more. Maybe this comment doesn't make any sense, all I want to say is I love my sober life, and maybe you will do too. (Sorry for my English, not my first language)
Luciana Merij I’m the same! Nobody believed me when I said I go not drink until my birthday (it was 9 months away at the time) it’s been a year now and I’ve drank a few times but I haven’t been drunk once this entire year. I love it
@@alisha1341 It is such a good feeling isn't it? The moment that my decision became MINE. First I gave it up for health reasons, but now it is for so many others, it is for my WHOLE self. And now I don't miss it, it doesn't feel like punishment, it is same as any food or beverage, I might have it if I really want it, but I just want it so rarely. I am so happy for you and your decision Alisha, may 2020 be a great year for you 💚
You speak English perfectly :)
@@cozybrandi thanks!
Luciana Merij thank you so much! You too 💜
there is a reason alcohol produces the "poisoned" effect in dungeons and dragons
hahaha im just impressed with the D&D reference! :p
@@fruitnstarch I don't know about that. People know full well what smoking does to you, and still do it lol.
Well im Russian for us alcohol might be health Drinks lol
You're amazing! Im four months and 10 days alcohol free today, I'm 21 years old and this is the longest I've been sober since I was 12. For the past few days I've had intense cravings so I was looking for a video to remind me why I started. This was the one :)
One week down without a drink after of 15 years of binge drinking every day Started 06 January 2020. Thank you for the positive in your life!
Well done to you keep going I truly believe it will get better xx
Congratulations 🎉
Amazing!
Hope your still going strong♥️
Utterly shocked by how many of you experience the negative impacts of alcohol...EVEN those of you who DON'T drink (via the behaviour of others). I can't thank you enough for sharing your stories down here and for providing me with a space where I (and others) feel incredibly supported in the decision to quit. This is why I LOVE this channel xxx
god bless
@Simon Bar Jesus hahahaha, what IS this comment?
@@melaniemurphyofficial I was wondering the saaaaaame thing. Weird sounding comment! I want to say congratulations. Alcohol was a scar on my family, even just a few years ago. My dad was an alcoholic in that if he had one drink he got drunk. He could go weeks without, but after he had the first one.... and he was a mean drunk on top of it. I avoided it like the plague. Lots of my friends didn't get it. I told them you only have to get the mess beat out of you a few times before you can conclude WHY you were getting it beat and make damn sure it doesn't happen to you. Fortunately Dad quit and eventually became a counselor to other alcoholics. God took this man and he did a full turn around. Night and day change. The scars remain though. So, I have trust issues. Shocking, I know. I don't trust that my being in a drunk condition would be safe, if that makes sense. I don't like anesthetics or pain meds for the same reason. As I got older I realized the toxicity of it and the concept of killing brain cells that I SO want to keep just was something I couldn't get past when facing the drinking my ex-wife did. Yes.... I married an alcoholic. Amazing how stupid one can be without drinking. lol Honestly, I've had a few times bad things happened and I wished for a few minutes that I was one of those people who could just hide from the pain in drink. I have never, not for one minute, regretted not drinking, and I'm grateful that I never started. Family history before me is bad enough. I'm sure it would have been a spectacular disaster. I don't know you. The odds of us becoming friends is really small. Especially given the doctors don't even know what is making me so sick. Makes one wonder. Ten years? One year? One month? You learn to appreciate and as such a one I appreciate your inspiring others, your determination, your success and your choice to change! You've made an amazing and wonderful choice and I wish you all the very best. Prayers for many blessings for you, and that your resolve will remain for the rest of your days!
@@melaniemurphyofficial Alcohol kills those that drink too much...AND people that don't drink at all. I had alcoholic liver disease around 15 years ago....it's such a dangerous and horrible drug....and so addictive. It destroys families, relationships and lives.
I live in Manchester UK...there's so many drug dealers around here but the biggest drug dealers that kill the most and destroy the most lives are the local shops selling alcohol. Strange world.
Alcohol has been a scourge where I live harming a lot of lives including innocent kids. I'm glad you touched on the subject.
It makes other people insecure when you don't drink. I've never drank, literally anything, and people still want me to drink and try so hard to persuade me 🤷
Good for you Annabelle. Don't let anybody steal your smart away from you. You have thought through the true cost of putting that drink to your lips, wisely. Stick to your guns. And thanks for your voice and clarity
New Year's Eve is the worst. People will literally force alcohol in your hands and act like you're a party pooper for not drinking. I'd usually have a sip of champagne, just so they'll finally leave me alone. It's why I stopped going to big(ish) parties for New Year's.
I agree. People act so weird when you say you don’t drink. It’s like it’s the only way people can have fun. I always ask why they want me to drink. Would that make THEM more interesting to ME? Cause I’m hella funny sober as a judge!
same people who want u 2 drink with them r same as want u 2 eat cake/junk food 'oh I bought a special bottle of wine/ special cake etc' aka 'join in'.... Ie unhealthy people try 2 include u in their bad choices and feel personally better about being unable 2 control themselves.... TBH I am pretty crap about being moderate... So I keep many of the worst temptations out of the house.... Although - as I type this I recall I have my Xmas treat of a Reeses peanut butter Chocolate snowman hidden somewhere... I didn't want 2 share with kids! Luckily 2 sleepy 2 search now! God Bless. Stay healthy and b there 4 friends who want 2 b sober and healthy with you. Happy New Year!
Annabel Yates I second this.
Never drank in my life, I seen what it does to others.
It's better to never drink than to go too far!
A mentor once told me, “if you’re not where you want to be in life in regards to your career, your body, or your mindset, and you’re going out drinking every week, then you have no right to complain”.
Life is about experiences. How many times does one need to experience getting pissed and dealing with hangovers?
THIS! This realisation came to me like such a smack in the face recently. Getting hammered drunk...it's always the same. Forgetting half the night. Waking up feeling terrible and losing time. If I don't need it for confidence (which I never have), WHAT IS THE POINT?
7 years for me and I keep relapsing. I’m 23. It seems like I won’t get ahold of things until I’m dead I guess.
You don’t even know how easy it becomes to not care about the consequences.
Getting kicked out? Doesn’t matter
Losing family and friends? Doesn’t matter
All that matters is drinking
after some therapy I learned that hating yourself is a great excuse to be hungover most days.
@@themorbidstoner1911 I'm in the same boat as you. For me I started around 8 years ago, now 27, haven't done much with my life except drinking and accumulating debts. For the last couple years, I have become so disenfranchised with life that I started not caring about anything, especially myself & I no longer feared death & I, some days, have welcomed it. Now I have such a crippling debt that it would probably take 5 years to clear up, so not only I destroyed part of my past, I also damaged part of my future without even talking about the highly probable irreversible damage to my liver. I can feel pain in it when I binge a few nights in a row, yet I continue.
Love this comment, JJ Blake!
I don't drink alcohol, but I wanna quit drinking alcohol now
I'm so glad I watched this. My family are glaswegian. I can totally relate to your situation. I struggle with depression and anxiety and am now 9 days sober. This is a hard journey for me. Not an alcoholic but an abuser of alcohol. Once I start, I can't stop. It's so nice to hear someone else being so honest about it. X
3 year sober here, it is worth it. I drank lethal amounts if other people did the same when i was at my worst, now im happy with my family and my son will never see me drunk. I proudly tell people i dont drink if asked.
I'm the same Laura but getting used to drinking AF beer at the weekends and love it , 16 days in now and I'm fresh as ever. hope your doing good
I'm nearly 4 weeks. Have had lots more sober days this year than drunk so pleased with my progress. Got to keep pushing through and preparing for events that could trigger me.
@@laurasimpson678 that's brilliant, well done.. I love it. The events are a bit harder so I try and avoid if possible or plan around them so I can go if I wanted too. The weekends are a killer for me but tesco have a good supply of non alcoholic beers and wines which I love.
When she said "I literally cry every time i think about the time that sparked it because it was such an emotional experience" I FELT THAT
Obsessive thinking about alcohol is a learned behavior that can be unlearned. The Sinclair Method helps to unlearn this. TEDx talk ruclips.net/video/6EghiY_s2ts/видео.html
Documentary 'One Little Pill' The Sinclair Method www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B07NBWMH9D
Amazing book by Dr. Roy Eskapa PHD on the The Sinclair Method tinyurl.com/tseqes3
6 days sober, went to AA this morning, and the cravings get worse at night, so this video was such a welcome recommendation. Thank you! Stay strong!
You too, congratulations on your progress so far! :)
Maggie Hawkins keep coming back!
Good luck, I believe in you! Don't get discouraged even if you relapse, you can do it!
congratulations! you can do this, one day at a time
Wow, thank you for all the support everyone, it really means a lot :)
It’s insane how in Britain and Ireland drinking is so socially acceptable. The majority of Britain and Ireland probably have this problem but just not aware that they do.
I think it’s Europe in general
Mya Campbell it makes capital unfortunately, consumerism crazy 🥂🍾🍻😔
Poland is the same. EVERY thing that happens in your life deserves a drink wheter it;s good or bad. That is our tradition. You can seriously offend people if you refuse to drink with them. You have a stigma.
I really appreciate this video because I'm only on day 9, but I'm already feeling so much better.
I'm an alcoholic, sober 41years. I was 26 when I took my last drink, I hope. I, too, rationalized my out of bounds drinking. No one wants to be an alcoholic and each respective man of woman has to determine for their self whether or not they are indeed an alcoholic.
I'm 26 now and I've been dabbling with the idea of quitting for months now. I'll take this as a sign to fully commit
8 years sober. Never had life this good. ❤️
Val Chacon My problem was after 15 years of drinking I never built up a Tolerance 4-5 sips I was buzzed. I always wondered if it was I was only 5'6" Tall. Crazy 15 years & I was drunk just drinking 5 beers. Also surprised I had Girlfriends being that small. It really sucked being an Adult that small
I struggle to get my friends to come over without drinking. If I invite them for movies, they want wine. If I wanna go shopping, they wanna get cocktails after. We can’t just hang out anymore
(I do drink, honestly pretty heavily, but I don’t wanna drink all the time)
Are you able to not drink when there drinking? If so nothing needs to change. If they can't be around you sober than there not very good friends. I don't know anything about you or your friends so don't take my words too seriously because of that.
joseph lawes-clarke I can, but they get very loud and annoying when they drink so it’s easier to just be drunk than to listen to them when I’m not 😂 it’s hard to be around drunk college girls sober
find new friends, if they can’t hang out with you without drinking than they’re not a good influence and you’re better off finding new people who push you forward instead of backwards
I never got started with drinking. For some odd reason it is easier for me to spend time with drunk people than it is for people like you and Melanie who stop or try to take a break from it. It is easy for me to do what I call second hand drinking. I get to the party spirit easily. Granted I don't do it more than maybe 4 times a year.
I just realized this was a problem for me too. Some of them are very pushy about it too & its hard to make new friends sober when you live in a college area.
I was sober for a year. I couldn’t believe my friends reaction to the news, but I hung in there. Once the year passed, I decided to give into the social pressure, with “ just one, or two”....because, so many people approve, and it would be easier to fit in. One or two, lead to three, sometimes four.... I’m right back to the usual routine...any emotion was cause for a beer, and happy hour was like a natural bell ringing in my head. I’ve put the stop to it again, and there is not to be a drink for any occasion....because I’m not going through this whole ordeal....again....for other people who want to feel ok, about their relationship with the fancy glamorous acceptable drug. I’m truly convinced I’m doing what’s right for me. I can totally relate to everything you have said. Hang in there, you will feel better and better about your decision as time goes on. There is no benefit to drinking. Congrats, you should be very proud of yourself.
Girl I feeeeeel this so much. I'm 9 days sober now. Last weekend was my lowest low. I became violent and suicidal. And that's not me. My husband said I only ever act "crazy" when I'm drunk. He never told me that before. But the fact that he saw that made me sad. For my mental health and my husband's mental health, I needed to stop. I'm not mentally strong enough to handle alcohol.
how are you doing now if you don't mind me asking?
@@janaxxx490 Aw thank you! I was actually sober for 6 months! And I drink now again but I haven’t been violent or suicidal since! It’s been over a year now! Thanks for asking ❤️
@@saraacarolina aw good for you! ❤️ wish you all the best 💞
@@janaxxx490 thank you!! I think all the time away from alcohol gave me time to reflect and change. I hope I’m never that person again!
massive creds for making this video- not an easy thing to speak about but shared so eloquently and sensitively. Go gal
The hookup culture relies on the drink culture.
@@vulgarveil not if they're spreading diseases/cheating /breaking up homes... then it is not harmless
britt well yes, and it might be freeing and you know, boost your ego and confidence but for a longer period of time... I don’t think it’s good for you. You start seeing other people as just their bodies :/
britt well I meant you as in general because I don’t know you personally
Tara Lang how much of a connection can you have with a person you met drunk and spend the night with? It’s looks very positive, what you wrote and you know, beautiful but i don’t find it to be realistic. Besides I wasn’t talking about having multiple sexual partners but about hookups, specifically one night stands
@@vulgarveil you are too wishy washy. Your the type that like to point out the most obvious things just to win an argument.
So what some people could have multiple partners in a healthy way, when by far, the majority cannot.
How many people while drunk will think much of protection in the moment? Some will, most won't.
How many people have the balls to tell their sexual partners that they are seeing other people. Some can be that mature, most will be too cowardly in fear of judgement or rejection. Base your arguments on the real world, not low hanging fruit.
I suffer from depression / anxiety & intrusive thoughts, currently on day 4 of zero alcohol intake, after 30 years of alcohol dependence ! ...it’s tricky
Beautiful woman & informative video 👍
Hey, how is it going? Have you managed to continue on your journey?
Thank you so much for making this. Both me and my boyfriend have decided to cut out alcohol completely after realising it did absolutely nothing for us anymore. I used it in uni as a confidence boost and way to interact with other people but now that I'm 24, it just makes me feel terrible the next day and isnt even worth it. It makes me so happy to see how positive it's been for you and I cant wait to finally feel that myself ❤
I'm Dutch and in my culture it's normal to drink. I personally don't drink because I just don't like the taste or smell of alcohol, so if I want to treat myself I'll take something I like. I do hate the judgment if you don't drink. My uncle even put alcohol in my cola to trick me into drinking it. I noticed because it stinks and my other uncle offered to drink it for me.
That’s horrible. I’ve had people spike my drinks with booze when I wasn’t drinking. I’ve been pressured by my family as well to drink (because many of them have disordered drinking habits and feel judged when you don’t join). You just keep being you.
I can feel u..it happens with me a lot..people can't respect the decisions that are different from their decisions! We exist and though it's rare but not impossible😊🤗
I've been toying with the idea of committing to a sober 2020. And this video is very relatable to me. I've been backpacking for nearly two years now and the amount of drink and other substances I've been taking that have ruined me, in so many ways, and in so many of the ways you describe, is horrific. The money, the embarrassing and disgusting mistakes, the days spent hungover, coming down, or just feeling depressed. It makes you think you are wasting your life away! I love your journey Melanie so keep it up and keep it real. Thanks!
Gay Astray we will do it together. I’ve been nervously throwing that idea around myself. So tired of it. It is actually pure misery and want to get back to being sober. Here’s to a sober 2020. Best of luck to you, my friend. You can do this. I’m going to start this weekend I think
Same here man! When I read your comment it sounded just like me. Getting kicked out of bars for fighting, waking up the next day and looking at my bank, hoping I have my keys, wallet amd phone, hangovers take 3 days to get rid of, and finally realizing that I like who I am when Im drunk but everyone else hates me when im drunk. Time to quit and turn my back to the devil.
I am 57 years old tomorrow. I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for 2 years now, I think of drinking quite often. Initially, I thought of drinking constantly. It has gotten easier, I meditate now, that's been a huge help. For anyone out there reading this who has a daily drinking problem, I hope that you will find your way out of it, God bless you.
Im a binge drinker in recovery. Am at day 4 and found this video and cried. Ive been trying for years to give up alcohol. It does so much damage. I come from a hard childhood and sexual assaults' so have alot of trauma but the alcohol does not help me at all. It makes it worse. Have not stopped trying though as I want to live a more healthier and fulfilling life. Although I have relapsed again and again over the years, I found this quote that keeps me motivated and kind to myself. 'I am not defined by my relapses but my decision to remain in recovery despite them'. Taking it one day at a time. Thank you for this honest and courageous video. Its inspiring.
I live in South Korea and alcohol abuse is sooo common. Drinking and losing your memory any day of the week. I’m all or nothing with it most of the time. I know I have an issue with it but I’m not ready to give up the lifestyle yet.
my ex boyfriend was korean a problem drinker (as i look back on it now) and binged bc it was just soooo common in korean culture. he literally reiterated that constantly and made me believe culture was the ultimate card?? and it rlly wrecked our rs in many ways - insecurity, cheating etc.
shi ying almost all social situations revolve around drinking here. It’s even bad for your job image to deny your boss afterwork drinks. But I really love my life and my friends and am known as a fun party girl and I’m not ready to slow that down yet. But yeah I’d definitely say it’s not worth staying with a partner who lives that life, too much stress and insecurity. I’d say most people here grow out of it by 30-something and calm down.
It’s common everywhere because alcohol is an addictive drug. Different countries have different excuses. That’s all.
@@anditspaganpoetry You can be a fun party girl and be sober. I don't drink and I go out clubbing regularly
I used to wonder why Korean people drink with their work colleagues and especially bosses, it weirded me out. In Australian culture it does happen, but depends on the industry. I work in Childcare and we had a work party at a bowling alley and it was fun, we all got drunk, boss told me she used to do every drug ever known and probably some not known. she said she stopped all that except for cigarettes and alcohol. I was gobsmacked haha. weird shit gets talked about at work parties.......But I've stopped drinking now as it has affected my health and I am also on medication. It's weird being at parties now without drinking, I have to drive people and drunk people talk shit lol.
Pole here - vodka is our symbol. Also a person with a diagnosed anxiety disorder and panic attacks. I used to drink alcohol when with friends, or drink beer to dinner. Unfortunately I was under care of quite awful psychiatrist who let me drink while on meds. It increased my panic attacks. I'm sober for 1,5 years now. I'm better than ever... but I miss ALEs and IPAs, I love their taste
tolkienbliss My family is from Slovakia so we have a lot of heavy drinkers too. However, I’m in the US and i like the flavor of beer and IPAs and we have nonalcoholic options that are pretty good. Is there NA beer in Poland?
I'm Czech and people either drink beer, wine or sliwowica (very strong alcohol). You're basically a looser if you don't drink in your teens (so they say). I managed to resist the peer pressure but still in my 26 people don't get it...
@@eliskatesarova3104 It's so awful that we have to explain ourselves for not drinking. As if WE were the ones with a problem... Honestly, alcohol ain't good for no one. I really wonder when people will realise that... also it's super rude to peer pressure people into drinking. I discovered making people feel uncomfortable for those actions works pretty well, for example to answer the question of why you're not drinking - "My father was an alcoholic" or something like that... it makes them think twice later to ask such personal questions...
@@wanderlust342 There are maybe two or three good non-alcoholic ones but they're not easily found in stores :(
American pole, never knew that's why I love vodka so much
Me and wife of 16 years have separated. She drinks way to much she has gotten a DUI and started to sleep with other people. I love her but people need to go down in flames sometimes. I pray for her and keep the faith. God bless everyone and stay safe.
I’m six months sober next week. I drank between eight to twelve cans of beer every evening after work. I hold down a physical job as a tree surgeon and trained three times a week at the gym. Life is so much different now. I eat well, sleep well and have so much more spare money. Life is good and I am never going back to drinking ever. We can do this, it does get a lot easier. Good luck every body ❤️
I've recently been made homeless due to my drinking problem, and this just so happened to come up on my recommended. I'm hoping this is a sign for change to come. x
Carmen Ryan you can do this!
Please care for yourself as if you're someone you're responsible for, like a loved pet! Do what is best for you! Love and understanding, from The Netherlands
@@meepmeep1329 thank you, I stopped drinking and I’m starting uni next month 😁
Ireland has such a bad binge drinking problem, people can't even socialise without it now
same in germany
It’s frustrating because I only have the one and am constantly pressured. We need other nighttime activities
England too, my Xmas/New years was nuts!
I find that we can socialise without it myself and my friends and I do it just is about choices and social circles.
Same everywhere.
"I care more about me then what other people think about me"
I've been sober for 7 months ! I'm experiencing the exact same things, thanks for putting clear words on it !
Keep it up it is a decision you will never regret. I was through similar experiences with alcohol in fact I spent the duration of my 20s binge drinking. It took me about two years to make a psychological adjustment after quitting I missed all those same things, it took literally making new friends and taking up new and old pre drinking hobbies to get over the feeling that I was missing out on something..Now 20 years later and still sober I look at it as one of the best things I've ever done. Keep up the awesome work!
Became a dad 1 year ago. Best excuse for me to never drink again. Never liked it, only did it to be social with others. Now i can be social with my son intead.
So proud of you, i have an alcoholic dad who ONLY talks about his love for beer and its very upsetting. Im glad youre giving your son a chance to have a great dad!
@@lari9887 I have had a few days to think about what your wrote. I never experienced what you did and im so sorry to hear this. From what i know from addiction it's used to run away from something. I hope you one day perhaps get through to him and get to see what he is running away from, if anything.
Darth Venereal Disease yeah! I hope to in the future. Im still 17 years old and have some personal mental problems to deal with before i can really know how to help him but my whole family has lately been telling him slowly about his problem how its affecting us too! Sending lots of love and power to you and your family 😁👍🏻
@@lari9887 I'm no councilor or expert or anything so take this with a grain of salt, but maybe you could reach your dad by writing him a heartfelt letter or something, not to judge or criticise him but just to show him that you're hurting and you'd love to have a better relationship with him.
Whatever you do I hope it all works out and you get to have a good relationship with him.
A DB Ill try it out! We have been trying to help my dad atleast lower his alcohol intake for a bit now so maybe this could make him understand. Thanks!
I was with a guy for nearly three years who drank every single day. He'd come home from work - drink, go to the pub on a work night - drink, weekend drink some more. From being with him and seeing the damage it did to our relationship and his mental health I realised alot. I am now with a guy who doesn't drink at all and I really love it because he puts us first, he's into going on day trips and doing stuff normal people should do instead of sitting in the pub 24/7. All I can say is, drinking isn't everything and us Irish are very judgey if you don't drink. Love yourself , live life and get out there and see the world, well done Melanie xx
Thank you so much for your honesty and openness....it’s refreshing to see someone young getting sober ! I do relate so much to the “missing out” feeling. I used alcohol in social situations to feel less anxious and one of the few times I’m tempted to give in is usually at “occasions” like meals or Christmas or birthdays.....when it seems “everyone “ is able to drink moderately. It’s certainly way easier to have none! I wish you well on your journey:)
“It made me stupid” I can relate to it so much! Inspirational talk!!:)
I started drinking at the age of 12 and by 24 (2019) I was drinking a fifth of whiskey a day . I ended up the ER because of withdrawal and seizures. My sister helped me get to rehab and I am now 9 months sober. I am the happiest I have been in a long time.
I started drinking when I was about 14 and didn't quit until I was in my 40s and haven't had a drink in 10 years, you can do it
My dad lost high paid job due to alcohol like 5 years ago and know we can't afford anything at all
The thing with alcohol as a chemical is, that it actually kills everything living, and mainly cells and bateria. That's why ethanol is often used in disinfections and in labs, when you want to end an experiment on cells. So image, that this stuff goes down to our digestive system, dehydrating shit out of it, killing the cells and good bacteria. Amd I wont even talk about how much it affects brain and nerve cells, that can't restore properly. So not drinking is actually the same as not putting poison into your body
The brain cells thing is a thing no one tells you. My memory used to be so sharp, and it actually isn't brain cells i believe, I did research on it and apparently can do minor brain damage when you bring drink. This became very noticeable for me. My memory went to absolute shit, and i felt really dumb. My mind was a point of pride for me, and alcohol certainly affected it.
I used to me a lot smarter than I am, more aware of situations, I used to communicate a lot better with people (more intellectual conversations) as a result of drinking I gained shit loads of weight, I slur, I have terrible memory, I am a lot more awkward in social situations. I wish I could go back in time to my 18 year old self and tell him to stay with the decision to not drink like we originally planned.......instead of copying our friends.......I wouldn't say it's ruined my life, but it certainly could've been better without it.
I think methanol is the disinfectant i.e rubbing alcohol. It's basically 1 atom away from ethanol i.e drinking stuff.
I can't thank you enough for making this video. I'm an alcoholic myself, according to the criteria I've seen online. I know that alcohol is eating away at me, but it's all I've ever known. My mom's always been a heavy drinker, I come from a long line of heavy drinkers, and my family was always quite repressed. My parents were good parents, but there was no way I could ever turn to them if I was feeling rough. You just didn't do that in my house. If you felt miserable then you just got on with it, you didn't talk about it. And all I ever saw was my mom getting drunk out of her mind all the time, so maybe I assumed that's how you deal with things, even though I hated my mom being drunk. But it breaks my heart to see you cry. I wish I could hug you and tell you it's going to be okay.
Thank you so much so doing this video, I knew I had a drinking problem but I’ve always just told myself up until now no, this is just your social life, it’s not a problem, you’re doing what’s normal, but right now I’ve the worst hangover I’ve ever had, I’m in bed sorry for myself, I’m missing my family’s Christmas get together and your video has made me realise that what I’m doing to myself with alcohol isn’t normal, and it’s given me the courage to say to myself enough and how I’m done with it, hopefully in 6 months I’ll be looking back and being thankful for the choice I’ve made and for sticking with it, so thank you so much for this video, I know I needed it
❤👍💙😍💛👊💚💪💜👏💖
Glad you’re here Stephanie. You can do it ❤️
I’m wishing you the absolute best on this hard adventure. You’re very strong for having that tough conversation with yourself, and then sharing this comment with us. Thank you for being so vulnerable! 🧡
U are being a responsible adult. I wish I had that in certain situations. ✌💜thank u
'fear of loss of control' was the reason I stopped drinking in 2015 after 2 big blackouts and hearing from others what I had done and not able to remember or recognise that person as me... you are not alone. you've got this and sending you a big hug
probably just a bad person and you dont want to admit it to yourself
@@thesheepsaysmoooo actually not at all. I am many things, but a bad person is not one of those. Think before you speak and don't be so quick to judge others. You have no idea what people go through or what they might mean by control or anything else for that matter. Be kind!!!
@@SoniaDoubleG Apparently bad people care about random comments on youtube.
@@thesheepsaysmoooo if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. You know nothing about her and her life but you're still assuming and making up that she is a bad person? Get out and face your own problems!
@@HerzoginLina sorry I was not aware of your rules. I will try not to upset you again. Who knows what you are capable of if you lose your temper? Break a wine bottle over my head or what?
NEW VIDEO full of tips to help you to cut back on drink or to give up completely (my 15 months sober update!): ruclips.net/video/ysHsyJxEQu4/видео.html
💜
Thank you Melanie, you don't know how much you helped me through the years, im mexican, even you helped me with my english, thank you so much 💕
I think I'm very similar, Hows the social circle and hows the fomo, I'm very worried about this? day7 here
Hi Mel. Thanks so much. I’m in the process of quitting alcohol (thousands of failed attempts, LOTS of research about the psychological effects, health effects, what happens when you do, what happens when you don’t etc) & I created a “watch these videos before you take a drink” pinned note on my phone. It’s basically about all the horrible things alcohol can cause. Essentially, a removing of the beer goggles if you will 🤷🏻♀️ I put your video on my list, it’s so helpful!! I think the fun memories I’ve had whilst drinking are what has kept me tied to alcohol for so long (since I was 18, I’m now 24). But the truth is, maybe even if I felt connected to people in those memories, there are so many more bad memories directly caused by how I behave when I drink. The “I was like a different person” phrase really intrigued me, because I’ve had people tell me I’m different when I drink. It’s like I’m not respecting my sober spirit, and everything I’ve accomplished sober, like getting a full time job to earn a living. Not to mention that sober me eats really healthy & works out. It’s the alcohol that adds all those calories, turns me from a size 8 to a size 12-14, gives me stretch marks, dry scalp, flaky skin on my face etc…
I want to give myself a chance to be a better version of myself. And I think sober me has a much better chance of that!!
I think if you kept drinking you would become an alcoholic. You're young, alcoholism develops over a long time
I’ve been sober 3yrs an I drank every single day for 5yrs after I lost my mother.It’s very hard to stay sober cause my wife drinks everyday around me!She says I’m a stick in the mud due to the fact I don’t wanna do or go anywhere anymore!Ive threatened divorce an she said that’s fine ok go file.I really love her,but I’m just so lost an depressed more now than ever! I really want to start back just so I’ll be more out going.PLZPLZ pray for me,but most of all pray for my wife!!!Thanks👍🏼🙏🙏👍🏼
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You sound like I did when I first tried giving up smoking. My biggest fears were not the withdrawal symptoms or the cravings, but the fear of missing out on so many things that I used to associate with smoking. I live in Italy, which is one of the countries with the biggest amount of smokers. Most people here have their first cigarette at 11-12 (I did too), and so many social events almost expect you to smoke and has designated times for smoking (for example, right after a meal). I eventually started smoking again because of multiple sources of stress, but when I think about quitting I fear that I won't be able to really experience life ever again if I stop smoking, even if I know it sounds silly, I have a massive fear of missing out on everything. It's hard. Thank you for opening up about your struggles.
You are way more likely to to miss out on things and life if you continue smoking due to health problems. Being healthy allows you to live your life to the fullest. If you think about it, you can have money or whatever, but if you are not healthy you can't do anything with the other good things if that makes sense. I'd say smokers are more likely to miss out on things. Be strong and I encourage you to show your body gratitude for what it's doing for you, instead of ruining it! Good luck with quitting and staying smoke free!
I can 1000% relate to this, it's so bad for you but it's also an integral part of your life. Especially starting at such a young age it's hard to even think about existing without it. Wishing us both the best with this!
austria's really bad too. my dad's an alcoholic and i'm shocked by the public promotion of what is essentially alcohol abuse, and i'm just really sensitive & started noticing it EVERYWHERE
true! it’s SO bad here 🙈
Same here in South Africa - I think many South Africans need treatment for alcoholism but excessive drinking has been normalised... it's absolutely destructive!
I've noticed the over promotion and normalisation of drinking in the UK and Ireland too! The amount of times I've seen the phrases "prosecco made me do it!" or "it's 5 o'clock somewhere!" on tacky ass pillows, clothing, home decor, literally everywhere. It's freaky. Every bus stop has beer advertisements on them, too. So odd.
Exact same situation. I‘m also from Austria
I am approaching 3 years sober, I applaud you putting this video up for the younger generation to view. To have a content creator put some real truth up is refreshing. Congrats on seeing the other side of the mirror, I hope you maintain a sober path.
I haven't had a drop to drink for 75 days. Honestly, I miss some parts of it. Thank you for this video, Melanie. You're very honest and forthright, also, you are pretty and you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I'm glad you were able to stop for your own sake. I don't know if I will be able to stop forever but right now I'm sober.
Three years sober. Best thing I ever did. Relate to the ‘being high’ on it for the first few months. Alcohol brought out all my trauma and darkness and stopped being “fun”. I would act completely out of character.
We accept people who have dietary requirements yet there is still so much stigma on abstaining from the old booze!
Binge drinking is such a social “norm” and that’s actually NOT a good thing. Sometimes alcohol just doesn’t agree with someone and that should be ok.
Mocktails are great though! And when you finally learn to have fun and lower inhibitions naturally it really does unlock some weird ass strength inside of you!
Keep going.
Be proud.
Surround yourself with people who support you.
Great video. More people need to be open about this.
I was severely depressed most of my life and eventually I started “self-medicating“ with alcohol. Being drunk meant not being depressed for a few hours, so I started drinking more frequently. I was known to be “the drunk girl“ among my friends but I didn’t realize it was a problem. Because I didn’t leave the house much (due to my depression) most of my friends have never even met sober me. I quit drinking 2 months ago and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made! Ironically I haven’t been depressed since, even though drinking didn’t cause my depression - or at least not in the very beginning.
Melo Moser I’m still suffering depression... I’ve tried self medicating on and off for years...I hate it, but have yet to be strong enough to kick it for good. Genuinely wish I could.
Christa Anne Gallant I’m sorry to hear that, I wish I could do something to cure you but as cliche as it sounds, I think you have to find the strength (I know you have) within yourself. Force yourself to get things done, even if it’s “just a shower”. Baby steps over and over again until it gets easier. I wish you all the best!
I'm glad alcohol always made me depressed because I chose to self medicate with Cannabis instead and at least I'm still alive. Alcohol would've killed me for sure. Stopping the Cannabis wasn't a major issue.
I'm bipolar and I used to self-medicate with stimulants and alcohol, so I've been there. I love both, but after Covid damaged my internal organs, I now can't do either. It's probably for the best tbh.
I’m 24 & I started drinking this year, and it got worse over time. My dad is a recovered alcoholic & I remember telling myself I’d never end up like that.. till I got myself in the wrong crowd & I ended up being one of the worse alcoholics out of all of them. I did so many horrible things while drunk that I deeply regret. I also wasted so much money just buying bottle after bottle.. ordering food to be delivered .. etc . It got to the point where I would buy a whole bottle by myself and drink it throughout the week alone. Last week I made a decision to stop drinking for good. I lasted so long not drinking till this year. I know I can do it. Thank you for sharing your story
You're not an alcoholic honey, barely a beginner. 🤣 Try again after like 3-5 years of having a bottle of spirits everyday.
@@tupakkaonhyvaa 😂
To anyone reading this: It will get better! I've been sober for a long time now and yes, it has its ups and downs, but your future self will thank you for the decisions you made today! You got this!
Thank you I need to believe it and can feel it slowly getting better now after just over 3 months. The withdrawals are shocking. Everyday feel zero joy (anedonia), overthinking, anxiety you name it. It was the absolute worst!
How long did it take for you to start feeling good again?
@@JamesP44 Hey, hang in there, the sypmtoms will lighten over the first month or two. I made a lot of videos about it on my channel, they definitely will help you out in your journey. Stay strong and healthy, you will thank yourself for it 😊
@@BjornSummer
Thanks I will check them out, after over 3 months it has gotten a bit easier. I've started on supplements over the last week or so which are helping. So just hoping for it to keep getting easier.
Happy new year too, may 2024 be a much better year 🥳🎉
@@JamesP44 Happy New Year to you too! It definitely will be a fantastic year😊
We are surrounded with water. Take time alone on a quiet part of a beach. The sound of crashing waves reset the fractured brain. And gives peace and stability and strength. 🇮🇪
Hey Mel. Hope ur okay after this video. I am an adult child of an alcoholic. And I can't tell u what this video means to me but of more importance to ur future children ur future husband and ur parents ur siblings and everybody else in your life. I didn't enjoy my teens because of it. I have never gone to teen concerts or anything like that when I was younger because alcohol is the substance that took over my life. I hate it. I now think at 20 soon to be that I cant change my life. I allowed it too. But the truth is I can change. Ur an inspiration Mel. Thanks for using ur platform in a positive way yet again.💜🎅✌
I relate xxx
@@TheGirlHub thank u for replying. I had to say it cos I'm not the only one. I obviously don't drink I should have said that to. I allowed this to happen. There is always time to Change and within this decade I want to stop living like a victim, because I'm not. Thanks for saying u get it because it means the literal world to me.✌🎅💜 happy holidays if u celebrate.
Hey me too! I was floored when my therapist told me about the whole "adult child of an alcoholic" thing. I felt heard and understood for like, the first time in my life, and I was nineteen. My life changed because of that, and I really found ways to better understand and take care of myself. Hope life finds you well :) ❤️
@@katiestraight3561 thank u so much. I hope its not to late to do some of the things I want to do. I'm glad ur doing better now. It took me awhile to figure it out but I'm glad I did.💜✌🎅
actually it wasnt alcohol, it was your parent who made the problem, they were irresponsible.
For me, the toughest part of quitting alcohol is having all the embarrassing memories come back of what I've done, or what people have told me I've done, when wasted. But then I can forgive myself and promise myself to do better than the old me and move on.
Kathryn Foulk I had it bad 10 years of drinking & I never built up a Tolerance 4-5 sips I was Buzzed. I always wondered if the reason was I was only 5'6" Tall
One month of being sober. And now I feel more happy than ever. Even though I'm still struggle but I will overcome the mountain
The only thing I miss is the delusion of belonging. Interacting with people used to be easy haha.. sober is hard. Congrats on 6 months
Gina Cozza oh. This comment is enough to set me back lol but not lol
@@marley92282 it will get better, good friends don't need you to drink
Wow... so true... always feel like an outsider when I’m sober and they are not even around my friends...
You get used to it. Instead of using alcohol to loosen you up when you're out partying, just give yourself some time to adjust to the environment. It doesn't take long until you start feeling comfortable. And once you're comfortable, it's just as easy to interact. That has been my experience, at least. 2 years now
Gina Cozza FIRST thing didn't help growing up in a big IRISH Family 10 kids. You know what they say all IRISH are Drunks. Never saw so many Freckles in my life. We were 70s kids. We got caught up going to 70s concerts. Lucky me Girlfriends liked to party like me. 1 sister was obsessed with those Long Hair Rock Stars. I did feel for her born with that IRISH Red Hair. Its True even today REDHEADS get made fun of. Good news all 10 of us are still Alive. IRISH Familys are known for having lots of kids. In case you didn't know its not just IRISH & SCOTTISH born with Red Hair & Freckles. Us IRISH have funny sayings, IM A LEPRESGAUN I DONT DATE HUMANS, IM THE IRISH GIRL YOUR MOTHER WARNED YOU ABOUT. EVERYBODY LOVES AN IRISH GIRL. YOU DONT SCARE ME I WAS RAISED BY AN IRISH MOTHER. KISS ME IM IRISH NO REALLY IM IRISH. WE do have some flaws IRISH Skin burns easily in the Sun. They say REDHEADS are Fiesty in the bedroom. It did suck drinking for 10 years I never built up a Tolerance 4-5 sips I was buzzed. Sorry about all IRISH Stuff IM JUST A PROUD IRISH AMERICAN.
I say "I don't drink, because it makes me feel bad." That's it. I don't engage in any other questions. Love this video
I needed to see this. I cried throughout it. Covid made it worse. I make such poor choices drinking, especially with men. I feel like I need to drink to socialise, it makes me more ‘fun’. I will keep referring back to this. Thank you so much, you have no idea how much I needed to see this x
I've found too that my "fights" with my girlfriend arent really fights anymore, at least they dont feel like fights. Communication between two people is hard enough without alcohol making it ten times harder. Now I am able to gather my thoughts and I don't get frustrated trying to communicate, and things rarely get to that "fighting" level
You should be proud of yourself. You chose yourself and your loved ones over alcohol. Lots of people choose alcohol over everything else or let alcohol take total control. I live in Reno Nevada, where alcohol is available anywhere at anytime. There's no such thing as last call here, and there are bars and casinos that are open 24/7, 365 days a year. It's abnormal to not drink here.
Bailey Todd 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
Many years ago, I watched the amazing film 'Leaving Las Vegas', with Nicholas Cage and Elizabeth Shue, he drinks himself to death. It's a love story too. She's a prostiture, he's come to drink himsel to death, they fall in love...but it's too late....I love these 2 actors. Decades later, I still remember this film. It's very powerful. Have you seen it Melanie?
I am 10 days away from my one year anniversary of quitting alcohol. I really felt this video. The social environment is a huge contributor to alcohol problems.
I wasn't a drinker until about the age of 22-23, when I started a rigorous professional school program. The amount of drinking that I was exposed to was a shock, and I used alcohol to both fit in/make friends and to escape from the immense strain that I was under. I went from drinking about 2-3 drinks a night/8 a week to closer to at least one drink every few days and then a binge of like 8 drinks a night. I knew something was wrong but I didn't realize how bad it was until it was really bad.
To share my story with strangers, I got to the point where I was blacking out when I drank and for the most part, my friends didn't say anything, but they kept me safe when I was beyond control. My boyfriend called me out over and over because he knew what alcoholism looked like, and I started to hide my drinking... and that is when I completely lost control. The last night I was drunk, January 13 2019, I was petsitting alone at a friend's house and I ended up drinking multiple kinds of liquor along with a bottle of wine, being blackout drunk and driving myself to buy beer on the way home, and then driving home so I could walk to another friend's place to drink with them. I was so lucky to not have hurt anyone that night, but that was the final straw. My boyfriend confronted me and threatened to leave me, and he got my family involved to make sure that other people who cared about me could help me stop. That was the start of my sobriety.
There is no shame in stopping an unhealthy behavior. There is no shame in improving yourself. Alcohol has impacted so many lives, and people will actually RESPECT you for taking control of your own life. I have found so much more acceptance and support since stopping drinking but it was SO HARD for about 6-7 months. I went to alcoholics anonymous meetings when I could for about a month, and after that I was too busy in school but I came out to my friends about my problem and they agreed to never pressure me to drink. Some people won't understand, but that's ok. Not everyone needs to understand.
Lisa Hayes I’m sorry that you had to go through that. Alcoholism runs in my family too, but I haven’t had as strong of a level of physiological effect on myself. I am glad you have found a way to keep yourself in control to live life on your own terms.
I'm going on 6 months. Watching videos like yours helps me stay sober. I also don't want to discuss my lowest point. I am still so ashamed. However, CBT has revolutionized my life and stopped my suicidal ideations. I actually like myself now.
Your story is so, so similar to mine except I wish that my 'incident' was the catalyst for my quitting, it's taken me 4 years to finally make that decision and countless more drunken mistakes. Thank you for sharing your journey, it's made me feel less alone and has reinforced my decision to stop drinking. You are extremely brave ❤
I quit drinking in August this year. As a Scot, it's very difficult as our culture here is based around alcohol and most social events are a glorified piss up. I fell pregnant the month I quit drinking. So obviously, I really can't touch a drink now but when I did quit initially, it was for me. I had a view to quit forever and I did feel amazing (que preganancy!). Now it's Christmas time, I find myself having to stop myself fantasising about when I can have a drink to celebrate next Christmas. In reality, I really don't want to. My Christmas night out was so difficult. Nobody spoke to me and my confidence was gone. I went home early. What this taught me was that I have ALOT to work on, not that a drink will fix my social anxiety issues. I love my life without alcohol. It's just very easy to forget how horrible it made me feel. I am so proud of you Melanie. It take bloody guts to say what you did! X
Melanie this video is so important to me. I choose not to drink for all those reasons, I watch my friends go through awful shit all the time and I just have made the choice to not do that to myself. But it is so hard not being able to partake in the fun my friends are having because it doesn’t matter what people say it is not the same, you are not part of the group when everyone else is hammered and you’re the mum looking after everyone. It really means a lot to have someone I look up to so much validate that decision - I feel less crazy
it isn't easy, sometimes leaving early is the best way to go, it sucks to be trying to take care of drunk people. I sometimes set a time to leave and prioritize it even if I am just going home to put on my pijamas lol. But you are not alone at all Ellie, many people don't drink and it is absolutely fine.
Thanks so much for sharing!! Im currently on my journey to sobriety and its such a mental battle to even want this for myself, but it has had such a negative impact on my life that exceeds the “fun” times that I think its time. Hearing the positive in how this decision has changed your life is super encouraging. So thank you for sharing!! You are glowing, keep at it girl 🥳💜
Incredible and brave video. I am 28 and from Ireland. I started drinking with my friends at 13. THIRTEEN. I was actually hospitalized at 14 for alcohol poisoning, after drinking a 'bomb' of mixed spirits. Probably only 5oz. But I was 14, a child, weighing little to nothing. That never stopped me, and I have continued to drink through my adult life. I have not given up alcohol yet, but I am on the journey and road to living alcohol free, and will definitely be seeking therapy, as the reality of addiction is staring me in the face. I genuinely suffer extreme anxiety and depression for a few days after a 'session'. It has made me do incredibly character defying things over the years, and I am actually crying writing this. Thank you for sharing your story. It has helped me in more ways than you know. X